


Niccals Legacy

by The_Dorkzilla



Series: The Niccals Saga [3]
Category: Gorillaz
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, Blood, Comedy, Death, Drama, Explicit material, F/F, F/M, Gore, Grimdark, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, NSFW, OC's - Freeform, Other, Suspense, Swearing, csa references, just assume shit is bad, mature - Freeform, non con references, old man murdoc, post phase 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-07-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:48:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 34
Words: 251,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24578569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Dorkzilla/pseuds/The_Dorkzilla
Summary: Book III of The Niccals SagaSeries of short stories chronicling the life of the Niccals family and their friends.Please read Celebrity Skin and Skin Deep first for these tales to make any lick of sense.***these stories were originally written in the wake of Phase 3 when it was assumed there would be no more Gorillaz so these have essentially turned into a Gorillaz AU***Edit: I will be posting them 1 or 2 at a time. Currently polishing them up
Relationships: Murdoc Niccals/Original Female Character(s), Noodle/Stuart "2D" Pot, Original Female Character/Original Male Character, Russel Hobbs/Original Character(s)
Series: The Niccals Saga [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1823239
Comments: 9
Kudos: 3





	1. Celebrity Skin's Alternate Ending

*DISCLAIMER: when originally writing CS, I had seriously considered an ending like Part I and the rest was born - in part - from a conversation with a friend over the paths their lives would've taken in the wake of it all.

  
  
 **Part I – Innocence Lost**  
  
Skimming through the surface of the water, the air cut through his wet hair and clothing, causing goosebumps to erupt across his shoulders and arms and face. It took every ounce of strength to pull himself through the water one handed, his clothing weighing him down. Upon reaching the shore, Murdoc struggled to get across the rocks and out of the water, clutching Alec's limp form against him. His blood roared in his ears, Hailey's sputtering cries barely heard even though she was mere yards away, climbing frantically down the rocks towards him. He was moaning, pressing his cheek into the bony little shoulder. "Alec," he whispered, sinking down into the dirt from exhaustion, still cradling the lifeless little body against him. He could have sworn he saw Alec moving when he’d retrieved him from the cooler, so sure the boy had grabbed onto his arm, but by the time they’d reached the surface, he was limp and floppy like a rag doll. Murdoc took another heaving breath and forced himself to his feet, feeling Hailey grab onto him and help him climb the rocks to the paved lot. He just wanted to get away from the water, get a better look at the little body that flopped against his chest.

Once he reached level ground, he let Alec slide gently down, laying him flat on his back. He was blue and lifeless, one eye half-mast and staring lifelessly skyward. Murdoc scanned the little body over, taking in the bruising he could see on Alec’s hands and the swollen and battered little face. What had happened to him? Why did she do this? One whole side of his face was so swollen and bruised, one eye was squeezed shut. A mix of blood and water drained from his partially open mouth and nose. Murdoc leaned towards him, his ear against the child's narrow chest. He was barely conscious of Hailey dropping down into the dirt next to him, tears choking her voice. "Alec?” She reached out with shaking hands, gently shaking at the lifeless little body. "Al....Alec?" Murdoc raised his head up slowly, feeling tears burn in his eyes and fall down his cheeks. He couldn’t feel or hear a single breath, not even the sound of a heartbeat. Murdoc let out another groan, gritting his teeth against the rush of pain that threatened to take over, clenching his jaw so hard his head ached. No, this wasn't happening. This couldn't be happening. Alec's short four years seemed to flash before his mind, the pain becoming more acute with each passing memory and image. With trembling hands, he smoothed the wet hair from Alec's forehead, his eyes following the bruises and cuts that marred his little body.

With a growl, he bent forward, positioning Alec's head at a small angle, his mouth pressing hard against Alec's slack lips, his mind screaming to _breathe_. Breathe for him. Get air into him. Drawing back, he pressed his hands into Alec's chest, his body now on auto-pilot, panting out a measured count with each press into the boy’s chest. He had never performed CPR in his life and only had a vague idea on what he had to do. Was it instinct that told him how to do it? He didn't know. He just knew that he needed to get Alec breathing and get his heart pumping. Hailey's cries were nothing but a dull background noise, his focus solely on the task at hand. White noise in his head, fogging the memories, distorting the phantom voice of the child in his mind. "Breathe," he whispered, thrusting his hands down into the boy's chest again. "Breathe...please...." Tears blurred in his vision as he bent low again and pressed his mouth against the boy's slack lips, exhaling another rush of air.

Seconds ticked by, minutes. Murdoc wasn't sure how long he worked on Alec, his voice no longer really heard above a panted whisper. Alec still hadn't moved or even reacted to anything Murdoc was doing and the musician heard his own low moaning within his head finally, the realization sinking in. How long had Alec been in that cooler beneath the ocean's surface before he had gotten to him? Had Alec been unconscious when dumped into the water? Had he imagined Alec grabbing him when he’d managed to pull him from the cooler? Too many frantic and panicked thoughts raced through his head, blending and turning into static. It took him a long moment to realize the sound he was just managing to hear over the static in his head was Hailey's voice. A strange strangled sound that started to rise in volume. Her hands were white-knuckled and clawed as she reached for Alec and through the strange sound and her sobs, Murdoc could hear their boy’s name. He sank back, legs tucked beneath him, staring at the lifeless body before him. He felt numb and useless suddenly, unable to move and unable to process that his efforts were in vain. Never before had he felt so helpless. His hands lay limp at his sides, every muscle liquefying, unable to hold himself upright anymore. Unable to move, unable to even speak, helplessly staring down at Alec as more tears fell, unable to stop them or the tightness in his chest. He gritted his teeth against the sobs that threatened, moving numb arms towards the lifeless body, pulling him into his lap. A strained moan escaped through his gritted teeth as he cradled the body. This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be how it ends. He wanted so badly to deny what he was seeing and feeling as his hands stroked and smoothed back the damp hair. But as he pressed his face against the cooling skin and slack little cheeks, the reality of it was hitting and the moan turned into a strangled sob as he buried his face into Alec’s hair.

"No," Hailey moaned, reaching towards them. "No, no, no, no....." Explosive hiccuping sobs erupted from her as she pressed herself close, her hands clutching at the soaked pajama shirt and tugging at it pitifully as another strangled sob broke from her. Every little sob and whimper from her sent bolts of more pain through him as he watched her pull and shake at the little lifeless body in his arms. Her face twisted in their shared agony, raw and wet from tears that wouldn’t stop, almost rocking where she was as more moans and noises escaped from her.

Movement from somewhere behind them caught his attention and he lifted a weary head up to see the Alicia woman struggling to raise herself up. Rage and pain battled through him as he watched the woman with bleary tear-filled eyes. This was her doing. She’d taken their boy from them. But he couldn’t move, couldn’t think, just sit there holding the broken little body in his arms, unwilling to release him because releasing him meant he was gone from them for good. He returned his focus to the little battered face, pressing his forehead against Alec’s as another sob threatened to break free, unwilling to let that monster behind them see his pain. Only vaguely aware that Hailey had pulled away, rising to her feet beside them and slowly walking over to the woman who was now sputtering and sobbing as she tried to crawl away. He squeezed his eyes shut, crushing the little body against him, holding him as tight as he dared, the sound finally coming from him so strained and raw he almost didn’t believe it was him making those sounds. Sobs that broke through the silence, his voice rising to a soul jarring cry. Wailing loudly against the filth covered pajamas, his fingers moving over Alec’s slack face, desperate to memorize every little part of him.

He lifted his head slowly, staring over at the monster responsible for his son’s death. Hailey was shuffling towards her slowly, grabbing the rebar she’d used to strike the woman with earlier. How could that bitch have done this? For what reasons? What could he have done to deserve this? This was their baby. Their little boy. Battered beyond recognition and now dead. A low growl seethed from him as he stared at their son’s murderer. She was staring up at Hailey, tears in her eyes, a single arm outstretched before her. "H-h-hailey....," she stammered. "I-I-I....I didn't mean for this to happen...." Hailey said nothing, her grip on the rebar tightening as she closed in, now bringing the rebar into the air and drawing her arm back. Alicia let out a screech when the rebar came smashing down into her head, the blow knocking her back to the ground. Hailey brought it down a second time, this blow hitting Alicia in her back, cutting off another shriek as she hit the pavement hard. Mixed in with Alicia’s cries were the sounds of Hailey’s sobs. She stumbled where she stood, the rebar falling from her hand as she collapsed to her knees near Alicia’s head, gasping and sobbing.

Murdoc stared at the two women through red and wet eyes, his fingers fumbling with his phone, Alec's body still held against him. Setting the phone down, he gently lay Alec's body down onto the pavement next to the phone as an operator crackled across the speaker: " _Emergency.._." For a moment his words died at his lips, unable to speak. His throat felt tight and eyes burned, another sob threatening if he dared try to talk. Haily’s cries echoed through the vacant lot and the person responsible for his son’s death was crying and pleading, seemingly oblivious that the fight had gone out of Hailey.

The operator crackled across the phone again, asking if they needed help sent. Murdoc nodded his head, though he was aware the operator couldn’t see him. Slowly struggling to his feet, he took a deep breath before finally speaking. "There's been a kidnappin' an' a murder." He cast another look down at Alec’s still form, feeling another wave of pain wash over him. Gritting his teeth, he took a deep breath. “Someone killed my boy an' I'm 'bout t' help my wife kill them." Ignoring the operator's rapid questions, he willed his numb body to move, walking slowly towards them, stopping only long enough to pick up the piece of rebar Hailey had dropped. Pausing at the two women, Alicia slowly looked up, her eyes locking with his. Her white blond hair was pink with blood, streaking down her face, her lower lip quivering. He stared at the rebar, at the chunk of concrete still attached to the one end now stained with blood. Murdoc closed his eyes a moment, allowing his mind to wander back through the four short years of memories Alec had given them. Newborn Alec, toddler Alec, preschool Alec. Cries and laughter. Their little Alec who had brought them together as a real family, something he’d never thought he’d have. Fresh tears squeezed through his closed eyes, phantom sounds of Alec’s voice in his head. Baring his teeth, his eyes snapped open and glared at the batted woman at his feet, the rebar coming down with as much force as he could muster. He raised his arm back and brought it down again. And again. The white blond hair was red and the woman was no longer moving. He kept doing it, snarling as he did it again and again, the rebar slipping from his fingers finally and hitting the ground beside him. Screaming now as he kicked and stomped at the body until he was too exhausted to continue.

He could hear sirens in the distance. Hailey was on her feet, moving back towards where Alec lay. Eyes burning and blurry, his throat sore, he slowly turned away from the body of the woman and followed behind Hailey numbly. She dropped down onto the pavement, pulling Alec’s body into her arms, nothing more than strained whimpers escaping from her as she smoothed his wet hair from his face. Murdoc dropped down beside her, reaching a shaking hand out and folding it around Alec’s hand. So cold now. The one green eye staring back at him as Hailey’s hands moved around his face. Part of him entertained the idea that maybe Alec could see them but he knew this was a mad thought. Alec was cold and grey, the eye that looked back at him dull and lifeless, the pupil dilated. The sirens were close now, probably no more than mere moments away. Hailey was oblivious to the noises around her, focused on cradling Alec against her as she kissed his grey skin, moaning and rocking with the little body in her arms. He could feel the tears falling – unable to stop them – as he clutched the tiny little hand. Too exhausted to speak. Too exhausted to cry. Just hold onto the little body because soon that would be taken from them too.

  
  
 **Part II – Crime of the Century**  
 _Excerpts from People magazine, original issue date: Oct 25, 201_ _8_  
  


In what is probably considered the most brutal and bizarre crime of the 21st century, Murdoc Niccals (52), former Gorillaz bassist and film composer, along with his wife, Hailey Niccals (41) were found Not Guilty in the brutal double murders of Alicia Hunter and Chloe Turner. While some are celebrating their acquittal, others – including the state prosecutor – are accusing the jurors of bias and that the evidence, which includes a confession over a 911 recording, was intentionally ignored due to the sensitive nature of the crime the two victims were being accused of.

It was three years ago when Niccals and his wife were accused of torturing and killing the two women. The couple had alleged that Hunter and Turner were behind a poorly put together kidnapping scheme against the Niccals' four year old son, Alec, a crime that eventually led to the child's death. Hunter was found at an abandoned Seattle pier with the couple, dead from blunt force trauma to the head. Also found was the body of the Niccals’ four year old son, who had numerous injuries on his body, the coroner determining his cause of death to be drowning. Turner was found bound and gagged in the garage of the Niccals' vacation home, barely conscious and covered in injuries from hours of torture. She would later die in a hospital from her injuries.

As the investigation progressed, more and more questions began to arise in the wake of this bizarre and convoluted crime. Why didn't the Niccals seek help from the authorities when their child was kidnapped? What motives did Hunter and Turner have? Who actually killed the boy? As prosecutors began to dig, more questions came about. Hailey's travel documents were discovered to be well put together forgeries and soon it was discovered that there was no record of her ever leaving the country. People close to Alicia Hunter said that Hailey had simply disappeared and while there had been no evidence of foul play at the time, the police investigating her 2010 disappearance had found no evidence that she’d been planning on leaving either. She’d put a deposit on a new apartment and had narrowly escaped losing her job after an altercation with Turner, whom Hailey used to work with. It had been Hunter who had reported her missing days later. It was soon revealed that the two women – who had been best friends since childhood and room-mates for close to a decade – had gone through a massive falling out over Hailey’s involvement with Murdoc while he had been in Seattle for a concert. This falling out had led to a fight between the two women with Hailey telling several people that she was looking to move out of the apartment, hence why she’d put a deposit on a new place.

Though it was suspected that Murdoc had taken Hailey against her will and there were rumors he had brought her onto a plane heavily drugged, local police were unable to establish any crime. Hailey maintained that she left of her own accord. It wasn’t just her possible kidnapping that had the authorities looking harder at Murdoc. He was accused of kidnapping several people between 2008 and 2009 as well as possible weapons and drug running for a well known crime syndicate that Interpol had been tracking for years. Murdoc was soon finding himself now at the center of a massive world wide investigation to figure out all the events that had taken place leading up to the moments of his son's death.

It would take almost two years before the Niccals would be brought up on charges. This was due largely to the sensitive and complex nature of the crime their two victims had been accused of. A search of Alicia Hunter’s apartment revealed numerous pieces of evidence that coincided with the Niccals’ claims of stalking and harassment, which included photos taken of the couple with their son, tracking their comings and goings as well as floor-plans of their Queen Anne Hill townhouse. Hailey’s former bedroom in the apartment had been untouched for several years, left as it was since the day she had left. Interpol reports were also found in Hunter’s apartment, records showing that the agency had been tracking the couple for years. Phone records also showed that both Hunter and Turner had been in communication about the family, referring to them as rats and vermin. One of Turner’s neighbors reported seeing the two women with a little boy matching Alec’s description a day or two before the murders.

The defense team, upon reviewing all the evidence found as well as the background of the couple, outlined a careful strategy: the brutal murders were an abrupt crime of passion from two scared and grieving parents. They even took it further, using past childhood abuses as a means of justifying the overall brutality of the double murder. They were too scared to go to the police out of fear of seeing their family torn apart. The Niccals weren’t dangerous monsters. They were two loving parents who had come from horrid backgrounds and had only wanted to give their son all that they had been denied. Alec was loved and wanted and spoiled. The Niccals only wanted to give their son a normal life without ever knowing the kind of pain they had grown up with. A little rough around the edges, sure, but everyone who knew them spoke highly of them. Prosecutors painted a very different pictures of the couple. Psychologists testifying for the state labeled the couple as sociopaths. They cited statistics and reports regarding abuse victims. Murdoc had been abused by an unemployed single father and Hailey had grown up a ward of the state and had made frequent claims of physical and sexual abuse against the different homes she had been placed in. Murdoc was a delinquent who spent much of his teen years locked up in detention. Hailey had harmed others in the different homes and had even been locked up in a facility for starting a fire that killed two other children. They didn’t see the world like regular people. Nobody doubted that they loved their son, but the brutality of their attack on the two women proved just how dangerous the couple could be if crossed.

Hailey was described as a “cold and calculating” woman who spent much of her time as a loner after aging out of the foster care system. The last foster family she had, a couple whom she still remained in spotty contact with, said she was intelligent and clever, graduating high school with high marks and a scholarship to a four year school of her choice. Determined not to fall through the cracks as so many aged out foster children often do. Former co-workers and even neighbors in the apartment building she and Hunter had lived at said that Hunter had been Hailey’s only long term friend and that she kept few people close, preferring to watch everything happen around her. Polite but distant. Her former employer said she was a good employee who kept to herself and worked as part of Human Resources and payroll. It was also revealed that Hailey and one of the victims, Chloe Turner, had not only worked together but had also known each other since college, the two of them involved in a long time feud that eventually cost Turner her job in November of 2010, right before Hailey vanished.

Murdoc was described as a loud and overbearing, a man determined to rise to the top no matter the costs. Able to convince people to see things his way in order to get what he wants. Many who worked with him through the years with Gorillaz as well as his current profession as a television and film composer said that he was an excitable man with lofty ideas. Murdoc often found himself in trouble with local law enforcement for a variety of crimes through the years he’d been a part of Gorillaz before vanishing after the disastrous 2010 world tour. Many expressed surprise when he resurfaced a few years later with a spouse and child. Described as someone who tenaciously guarded his privacy and was often difficult to obtain interviews with due to the plethora of rules laid out by his lawyer. And while most would say he had a hair-pin trigger temper on him, he rarely ever got physical and relied on his ability to cut people down with his words.

Evidence exhibits became a bit of a circus when prosecutors also brought in items obtained from searches within the Niccals Seattle townhouse. Handcuffs, whips, chains and other items that almost make it appear as if they were running a torture chamber. All items obtained from their very bedroom. The judge would later throw out the evidence when it was later brought up that the couple used the items on each other, behind their closed bedroom doors. Prosecutors tried to keep the items as a focal point, citing that no normal couple would indulge in such things, but it was later thrown out, including photos of the scars, bruises and other wounds on both Hailey and Murdoc, the two admitting that they inflicted them on each other in sexual play.

Morgue photos of the two women were shown to the jury. Hunter had been bludgeoned so many times that she had to be identified through tattoos and other body markings. Turner was was battered and covered in cuts and stab wounds as well as broken bones in her face, her hands and her legs. The jury sat through a hour long slide show from the prosecution outlining the extent of the injuries on the two women, stating that the crime of passion defense that the defense was trying to use did not apply due to the extent and brutality of the two killings. The defense team countered the prosecution’s claims, wanting to show the jury morgue photos of the Niccals boy. The prosecution objected and pushed against the photos of the boy being used as evidence in favor of the parents, citing that the boy’s killing was a separate issue and there was still no proof that Turner and Hunter were responsible. The presiding judge, the honorable Diane Long, not only ruled in the defense’s favor in allowing the photos, she also allowed other pieces of evidence to be shown. Evidence that Hunter and Turner had kidnapped the boy and that Hunter had beaten the boy and killed him. A cooler had been retrieved from the bottom of Puget Sound tied down with rocks and netting, the cooler identified as belonging to Hunter. An abandoned building owned by Turner’s father had food and blankets in its basement with both Hunter’s and Turners fingerprints all over them. There was also blood in the basement, later identified as belonging to the Niccals boy. The courtroom was silent as the photographs of the boy’s beaten body were flashed across the screen. “He had broken ribs and a fractured skull,” Niccals’ lawyer Gregory Barton pointed out. “He was beaten so severely that if he’d survived, he would have been permanently disabled. This is what led them to attack to two women responsible. The prosecution insists there is no proof that the women were the ones who harmed the boy yet numerous pieces of evidence has been obtained showing that these women did indeed kidnap the Niccals boy, beat him and killed him in an effort to cover their tracks when their ransom plot fell apart. Alec Niccals was only four years old. He was an innocent little boy and he was senselessly killed by these women who are being portrayed as victims. Murdoc and Hailey aren’t sociopaths. They are no different than any other mother or father out there who would just LOVE to get their hands on someone who harmed their child."

As much as the prosecution tried, it was not enough to condemn the unconventional and bizarre couple. The coroner testified not only of the injuries found on Turner and Hunter, but also of Alec's injuries found during his autopsy, even citing post mortem bruises and bone breakage from the Niccals' frantic attempts to revive the boy after they had retrieved him from Puget Sound. Hunter was presented as an unstable and jealous former friend by the defense, her jealousy over Hailey's good fortune and family causing the woman to snap. Targeting the boy as a way to hurt them, a way to get back at a man she had felt taken away her best friend. Chloe was presented as the workplace sociopath and cut-throat, out to humiliate and destroy anyone she felt was below her. Her employment record was filled with complaints of harassment, not doing her work, antagonizing co-workers, with a great deal of the complaints between her and Hailey. Her own father, Reginald Turner, even testified that Chloe's numerous transgressions over the years would eventually lead to some form of retaliation. In an early interview with CNN, Turner expressed sympathy with the Niccals and while he does want some form of justice for the death of his daughter, understood their motives behind her death.

The Niccals also found a growing amount of supporters in their circle, many of them complete strangers who sympathized with the couple in spite of the growing legal issues they were facing outside of the murder trial itself. Parent groups and victim advocate groups donated funds for their legal fees, which were now spiraling out of control and had also been successful in pushing for them to be released on bond, even though the prosecution claimed their current immigration status made them flight risks. Their release was conditional, the judge having their passports confiscated as well as strict orders that they not leave King County without prior approval from a judge. While preparing to have some belongings brought to them from their primary residence in London, it was discovered that during the course of the investigation, Interpol had seized their London home, removing nearly everything, including their son’s possessions. The majority of their banks accounts in both the UK and the USA were frozen, leaving them only one account that was nearly empty and Hailey's own savings from when she had still been working. With dwindling incomes and nowhere to go, it was reported that the couple were staying with close friends. As part of their release, they were to attend court ordered therapy, victims’ panels and check in with a court appointed liaison so the courts were kept up to date with their activities to ensure they were complying with the conditions of their release.

Supporters cheered when the Not Guilty verdict was read, the couple only being found guilty of Obstruction and Interference with an Investigation and were sentenced to five years of probation, fines, outpatient substance abuse rehabilitation and both individual and couples therapy. Their relief short-lived as a new legal battle has risen from the chaos of their murder trial. Interpol wants Niccals on their own charges, but now it's immigration and legal red tape. Immigration and Customs Enforcement has filed in federal court to have the couple deported and Niccals handed over to Interpol but the superior court and the Niccals’ defense attorney have filed injunctions, citing that the couple are court ordered to remain stateside in order to complete the conditions laid out by the court. With the majority of their personal belongings in London seized by Interpol, the Niccals’ lawyers are currently working on a way to obtain at least the boy's baby book, which was at the London residence, along with a few of the child's more cherished keepsakes.

**Part III – Pretty Piece of Flesh**

Life had always been hard for Murdoc Niccals. He was accustomed to this. He’d lived in dire poverty and lived the life of a king only to lose it all and find himself back at square one. He adapted, as he always did. There wasn’t much choice in the matter anyway. You either learned ways to survive or you gave up and keeled over. He wasn’t ready to keel over just yet so reverting back to old methods of a quick buck came easily. He still had a small steady income thanks to royalties, but it wasn’t enough to really live comfortably. He kept his belongings sparse and maintained a decrepit little flat near a local bar that he fancied, but often found that even living a minimalist lifestyle stretched his income beyond its abilities. He supplemented his income with a few live shows at another bar across town and even sold plasma when the purse strings were exceptionally tight. He was still an opportunist by nature and if other methods of making a quick buck came up, he’d usually do it without hesitation. This usually involved slinging a gram or two of speed or weed. The addict in him was also indulged, though he’d learned to manage it better, able to fly high every now and again without the worry of falling headlong into the grips of addiction.

It had been eight years since he lost his son and five years since he and Hailey had escaped being imprisoned for life. Things were never the same after that, not that they’d expected it to be. Though they’d managed to find a place to live together, the strain of everything had finally taken its toll. It had taken months to get even pictures of their son from Interpol’s possession and due to a paperwork error, the rest of their belongings confiscated from the London home, which included all of their son’s possessions, had been destroyed. Alec’s blanket and plush puppy were still in a police evidence box, the local PD refusing to turn them over. Nothing left that was proof of their life together or their son’s existence. The strain finally reaching a breaking point when Hailey had gotten herself arrested for ramming a car into the side of the police station in order to take back their son’s belongings by force. She got to spend a year in county for that stunt and six months at an inpatient psychiatric facility. During her incarceration, Murdoc had moved her belongings into storage, packed his own meager belongings and simply moved out of the apartment they’d been renting. It was probably a bastard move on his part seeing that once she was released, she would have nowhere to go, but he’d grown tired of everything and everyone – her included.

They never saw each other face to face again after that. He did hear about her comings and goings through mutual friends, but even those were rare. Hailey had essentially vanished. Murdoc wondered about her from time to time, finding himself sometimes staring at the few pictures he’d kept. One picture in particular had always been hard for him to look at, taken twenty four hours before Alec had been taken from them. A snap taken by Stu of the three of them huddled together on Stu and Noodle’s sofa. Alec was in his lap, his face lit up in laughter with both Hailey and Murdoc tickling him. It sometimes didn’t even feel real anymore, realizing that he was gone. There were still nights Murdoc would awake in a panic, praying to whatever deities existed that it had all been a nightmare and they’d all be back at the London cottage. And there were still times he broke down once he realized he was indeed alone and they were gone.

He spent the next several years essentially being a loner. Withdrawing further and further from his friends and former bandmates. He still sometimes connected with Russel via the occasional phone call or video chat, but both Stu and Noodle had a good life going for them with their daughter and Murdoc didn’t feel comfortable intruding on that. Sometimes when the loneliness got the better of him, he’d find a soft pretty thing to bide his time with for a night, but it was only to satisfy his more base and primal needs. Murdoc Niccals had become the definition of washed up, his friends finding success in new ventures while he scraped what little bit of a living he could after losing it all.

Pausing at an intersection, he looked around at the faces that passed by him. Some paused long enough to get a good look at him, most likely recognizing him but not wanting to actually approach him. All the better as far as he was concerned. He was on the move and did not want to be deterred, crossing quickly before the light changed and attracting the ire of a young looking lad who had to slam on the brakes of his little sports car to avoid hitting him. He continued moving, ignoring the young man’s hurled curses. He made this trek every year. Sometimes he’d come across Stu and Noodle, other times it would be just him and the birds. It had become his ritual. A place where he could sit and be left to his thoughts.

A year ago, he’d heard whispers that Hailey had been spotted through the city. Rumors that she’d seen in areas well known for drugs and prostitution. As disturbing as this news had been, he hadn’t been surprised by it. Like him, Hailey had grown up in environments that required you to do what was necessary in order to survive. Whatever life she’d been living at that point was her business. He’d considered trying to locate her and reach out, but had decided against it because what could he say to her? He’d walked away from everything while she’d been at her most vulnerable. There was little doubt in his mind that he was the last person she’d ever want to see. Besides, if he was hearing about her then surely she’d been hearing about him too and if she’d been interested in reconnecting, she would have reached out. She didn’t so it was safe to say that they’d washed their hands of each other. Whatever they’d had was no more and there was little point stewing over it. He still had the wedding bands in his possession and they were kept with the few photos of Alec. He hadn’t been sure why he still had them. Had even considered pawning them more than once, but could never bring himself to do it. Keepsakes of a happier time, he reasoned.

Crossing the freshly cut lawn, he kept his gaze ahead of him. Though he had technically reached his destination, he still had a ways to go. He continued through, stepping carefully in some places before finally reaching a small paved path. As he continued down the path, he spotted other visitors scattered through-out the property, some sitting and some standing. He pushed forward, ignoring the stares, walking up a small hill and down the other side, spotting Stu and Noodle’s car parked down near the end of the little paved path. Only several yards away now, the marker visible even from where he was – cluttered with teddy bears and trinkets that people had left through the years to pay respects. He’d initially been confused by these offerings, not understanding how people could leave these things to pay respects to a child they’d never known. As he got closer, he spotted Stu seated on the bench that flanked the marker, his head bowed as if in prayer. Upon hearing Murdoc, he looked up and flashed a sad smile. “Wondered when I’d see ya here.”

“It’s July twenty-third, Dents,” Murdoc huffed as he approached him. “I a’ways come here on Alec’s birthday.” He paused at the front of Stu’s little car, leaning onto the hood. “He’d be twelve years old, mate. Can you believe it? Woulda been a’most grown...”

Stu smiled, rising from the bench. “I know, Muds.” He pulled Murdoc into an awkward hug before breaking away quickly and wiping at his eyes. “Still can’t believe he’s really gone ya know? It’s been eight years, mate, an’ I still cry ‘bout it. I can’t even begin t’ imagine how it feels for you.”

Murdoc said nothing, giving a curt nod in response. He circled around the marker, his gaze on the various plushies and flowers and other items left by well-wishers. He knelt down and slowly begin to move away some of the items, wanting to see the marker, wanting to see the smiling face engraved into the stone. He felt dull and discombobulated, familiar feelings whenever he stopped in to visit Alec’s grave. It solidified the reality that Alec was indeed gone and both he and Hailey had drifted apart. Still moving things around, he frowned as he shoved some of the plushies aside, feeling fresh waves of hurt wash over him as he stared at the marker. Sucking in a sharp intake of breath, he abruptly stood up and stumbled back a few steps, the familiar burn of tears blurring his vision. He blinked several times, unable to speak. His mouth was dry and there was a tightness in his chest as he stared down at the marker, unsure of his thoughts or emotions as he took in the sight in front of him. Stu let out a small sputtering sob, his long arms pulling Murdoc into another uncomfortable hug as he struggled to control himself, caught between pain and anger. He was shaking, peering though Stu’s hair at the grave. “When?” he forced out hoarsely.

“Few monfs ‘go,” Stu whispered through another sob. “Overdose dey said. Found her in a hotel. We were notified when dey found her. Woulda told ya but we had no way of contactin’ you. Hope y’ dun’ mind...we paid for a new headstone so it listed boff names.”

Murdoc slowly raised his head at the marker, approaching it slowly and kneeling down to get a better look at it. He traced his fingers across the engraving in the stone, confused at the range of emotions he was feeling in those moments. She was gone too. As much as he didn’t want to believe it, he was staring at her face and name engraved into the stone with the respective dates. Forty-six years old when she died. Died alone. He slumped back onto his rump, staring at the marker with red and wet eyes. He was alone. At least knowing she was out there somewhere entertained the occasional fantasy of reuniting one day, but seeing her name in the marker and knowing that she was six or seven feet beneath him just solidified the cold hard fact that he was now alone. He tried to remind himself that he’d lost a lot of good things through his life and that this wasn’t any different, but it was different. She was gone for good. There would never be a chance of running into her. He would never get a chance to see her face to face and tell he was sorry for bailing at her lowest point. The world was a cruel fucking place, that’s what it was. It had handed him a nightmare childhood. It had taken his son from him. It had destroyed his livelihood. It had destroyed his marriage. All alone now in a world that simply moved forward, forgetting that he, Hailey and Alec had ever existed.


	2. At First Sight

Freshmen orientation was almost always a circus. It was just a part of University life. The great hall filled with fresh faced high school graduates, veteran students, parents and staff alike. The whole campus was a different world, really. A separate universe where kids put on the charade of adulthood. A whole new world far from the isolated and sheltered existence that Nina Richards had come from. She looked around at the different tables set up to appeal to the new students. Some promoting special student led groups while others simply promoting various clubs one could join. Nina stared at her course schedule, only vaguely hearing her parents several feet behind her, jabbering away with the counselor who had helped her set up her courses. Anxiety crept in. She felt ill prepared for this new adventure. Why didn't her parents allow her to take a break? Why should she go straight into school again after finally completing twelve years of boarding school hell?Her best mate, Sasha, idled up along side her, peering over the red-head's arm to see the course schedule. “We share four courses,” the blond chuckled.

Nina leaned over, examining Sasha's schedule. “Indeed we do.” She wasn’t very keen on the schedule she’d been given. Nearly every single class had been hand-picked by her parents. Business courses sprinkled with a heavy course of maths. Was it possible to get one or two dropped in favor of replacing them with courses she actually wanted? She had been interested in a few courses that focused on chapters of history in both the USA and UK. Courses that offered up lessons on the riots and protests that had taken place through the course of 2020. She’d only been around eight years old when this all had taken place, completely oblivious to the turmoil because she’d been tucked away in boarding school. The only thing she distinctly remembered was some sort of virus spreading around the globe and having to wear face masks. She only learned of the riots years later. Apparently the USA had decided it’d had enough of racism, police brutality and the person who was president at that time.

The two friends lingered a moment in the great hall, looking around at the numerous other new faces. They recognized only a small few that had hailed from their boarding school. Sasha started babbling about some bloke she fancied whom she spotted while getting all the final enrollments dealt with. Nina couldn't quite understand that move. They had enough to worry about and here the little blond ditz was carrying on about some Aiden bloke who was attending on a scholarship. But that was Sasha for you. More concerned with boys than her lessons. Nina had been surprised she’d passed seeing that she had always been focused on everything but the required coursework she’d needed to graduate. She continued to wander around the hall, picking up leaflets for clubs that struck her fancy and even paused long enough to chat with some students promoting a film club. More people were trickling in and suddenly the great hall felt tight and compact. She was having to squeeze through bodies now just to move around.

After nearly getting squashed, she broke away from the crowded hall, her friend and her parents and veered away towards the bathroom. She wasn’t alone in the lavatory, a few other young women lingering in there and looking as stressed and as anxious as she did. This must be the place to hide. Snippets of conversation told her that most were stressed about being away from home for the first time ever. This part didn’t bother Nina because she’d spent most of her childhood in a secure all-girls boarding school and had only ever come home for breaks or family emergencies. Being away from home would be a cakewalk. Her anxiety stemmed from realizing she was an adult who could make her own decisions and yet her parents were still hell-bent on controlling her every move. They chose which Uni she was going to and they chose her classes for her. She hadn’t been allowed to provide any input on what she wanted. The reflection that stared wide-eyed back at her looked terrified and on the brink of tears. Her red hair was only pinned halfway up, freckles across her fair features and her blue eyes wide. She took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, splashing some tap water onto her face. She needed to get away, even if only for a hour or two. She exited the bathroom and ventured towards where she was certain she had seen a cafe. They had passed it along the way, right? It took three wrong turns and one dead end corridor before she finally found the little cafe. Pushing through the doors, she made her way to the espresso counter, ordering a macchiato. Once the barista produced her drink, she found herself wandering around the narrow little cafe, hoping that the coffee would put her mind to ease. Finding a table, she dropped into one of the chairs and nursed the coffee drink as she listened to the conversations around her. She overheard bits and pieces of conversation around her. Talk of some famous former musician and his kid being on the campus. Joyous. Just what they all needed. Some stuck up little rich tart hanging around and mucking things up. Celebrity children were always something else. There’d been a few she knew from school, always thinking they were above everyone and anyone. They almost always fell apart at the seams once they were forced to follow the rules like everyone else. Their celebrity parentage did not make them special and excluded from the rules.

Movement from the main doors caught her eye and she realized that someone was struggling to get the heavy double doors open. Flash of a hand, a foot, a cane. Nina looked around, noting that nobody else was making any effort to help the person. What the hell? Were they all bleeding blind? Obviously this person needed help. She made a brisk walk to the entrance, grabbing at the door. From the other side came a sigh of defeat and a soft spoken male voice. “I had it, but thank you, I s'pose.”

Nina blinked, unsure of what to make of the response. “I'm sorry, it looked like you needed help.”

Struggling with a cane, a young man about her age shuffled through. Not terribly tall, maybe five foot six at the most, slim build. Dark brown hair, large green eyes, squared masculine features. Dressed casually in jeans and a hoodie, his scruffy brown hair hanging almost to his eyes, his weight mostly supported by a cane clutched in his right hand, with the other hand pressed awkwardly against his side. He turned to look at who dared open the door for him and she was sure she saw the flush of pink at his cheeks. Lowering his head, he let out another sigh. “I'm sorry. That came out harsher than I intended.” With a grunt, he continued his way through the doors, clearing them enough so she could allow the door to swing closed.

She gestured towards her table as she started to walk back towards it. “My name is Nina. I came to escape the hell that is Freshmen Orientation,” she laughed.

“M' name's Alec,” he said, flashing a warm smile. “An' I came t' do the same.” Nodding his head towards the espresso counter, he made a shaky gesture towards her coffee. “How's the java in this joint?”

“Not bad,” she said, offering her cup. “Would you like t' try before you buy?”

Alec leaned into his cane, reaching out a shaky hand. Taking her macchiato, he sipped at it gingerly, the cup looking as if it would fall from his hands any moment. “You like macchiatos,” he mused. “My kinda girl.” Nina smiled at him without meaning to. Something about him that she found intriguing. His quiet and easy-going demeanor, perhaps. In spite of his very obvious set-backs, he seemed pleasant in personality and she couldn’t deny that he was rather nice on the eyes. She couldn’t take her eyes off the trembling hand or the cane that seemed to barely help him walk. One leg always went out to the side while the other seemed to weakly shuffle against the floor. Was it cerebral palsy? She didn’t detect any other anomaly with him that could explain his condition. He seemed alert, his speech was crisp and clear and the only other thing she couldn’t help but notice was a lazy left eye. It didn’t really move like his other eye did. He dug around for his wallet as he stood in line, ordering the same coffee as she. Once he had his coffee, the two laid claim to the table she’d been sitting at. Alec groaned, easing himself into the chair. “M' Mum an' Dad are probably goin' right mental wonderin' where I'm at,” he chuckled. “Shhh.....Dun' tell an'one.”

“Yours an' mine both, then,” she laughed.

“What courses are you takin'?” he asked through his coffee.

Nina frowned, glancing down at her course schedule. “Business courses an’ my Dad pushed me in t’ a class ‘bout contract law.”

Alec cracked a smile as he pulled his course schedule from his jacket pocket. “My Dad wanted me t' take a crack at music courses....but...” He held up his trembling hands. “Coordination isn't exactly stellar, as you can tell. Couldn’t strum a note on an’thin’.”

“May I ask what happened?” she asked in a low voice. “I mean, if it's not a bother.” She gauged his expression carefully, hoping that her questions weren’t too prying.

He paused mid-sip, eyes surfacing from his cup of coffee. “Head injury,” he muttered, scanning around the cafe. “I dun' remember much, I was only four years old when it happened.”

“I'm so sorry,” Nina whispered, dropping her gaze to her coffee. “That must have been a hard adjustment for you.”

“Oi...it's not that bad,” he chuckled, his face cracking into a sloppy smile. “Dun’ remember what it was like not bein’ like this an’ the bonus is I'm first in line for ever'thin'! Nobody wants t' make the cripple wait too long.”

“That's a terrible joke, Alec,” she said through a laugh. He had a pretty good sense of humor about things. Everything always had a silver lining.

“Yeah, I suppose you're right, eh?” He paused a moment, merely looking at her with the ghost of a smile on his face as he continued to work on his cup of coffee. “So...I dun’ weird you out or an’thin’? Most dunno how t’ talk or act when they see me...”

If she didn’t know any better, she was sure she heard a touch of resentment in his voice. Frowning, she shook her head. “No, Alec, why would I be? Unless you’re a superhero an’ this is your secret identity...?”

Alec’s smile faltered at the corners as he set his cup down. “Let’s just say a lot of people couldn’t see past _this.._.” He held up his hands and the cane. “Tend t’ get a lil’ paranoid when a pretty girl is willin’ t’ talk with me. Usually get laughed at.”

Nina wasn’t sure what to make of the remark. He was a nice looking man with a pleasant demeanor. Why would anyone laugh at that? But she had to remind herself that some kids were just straight up arseholes. She’d seen the circles of harpies that haunted her previous school. Any sign of weakness was seen as fair game. But laughing at someone who expresses interest? That is beyond cruel. “Well, I’m not laughin’, now am I?”

She wasn’t sure how long they’d remained at the cafe. People came and went, some pausing to get a look at them as they slipped out the doors. Alec told her about his previous school and some of his mates as well as a few laughs over an eleven year old sister who got into trouble and parents who sometimes hovered a bit too close. Nina smiled and nodded along but felt strangely like an outcast as he talked about is parents and home life. Such a close knit clan, they seemed. From the parents who had no qualms about displaying affection to the sister who was ready to fight anyone who looked at them cross-eyed and the family friends who were considered damned near family. He’d grown up wanting for nothing yet he hadn’t been spoiled as so many celebrity kids were. She reasoned this probably had a lot to do with his parents’ more humble beginnings. She didn’t have much to offer as far as talk of family. Trust fund. Parents were wealthy and the wealth went back several generations. Grew up in a boarding school. Hated it. Hated how pretentious her family had become and some of her friends. As they continued their chat, she soon realized she was hearing a familiar voice from the other side of the double doors. A woman’s voice. “Nina! Nina, where are you!” Nina perked her head up, her eyes now on the double doors. “Bugger, they figured out I was missin'!”

Alec peered over his shoulder, watching as her mother slipped in followed by her father. So far, they hadn’t noticed her as she hunkered down against the table. Their table was far enough back that it might very well buy her a moment or two before they noticed her. He cracked a smile, turning back to face her. “Hide under the table,” he chuckled.

She glanced around, catching numerous eyes on them and realized it was only a matter of time before her parents followed the stares. She lunged under the table, hearing Alec chuckle from above her. “Stop that!” she hissed, swatting his foot. “You’ll lead them straight to me!”

He leaned in, peering under the table at her with a grin. “Dun’ worry, got ya covered.” From her place beneath the table, she watched as her parents slowly made their way towards their table. They must have followed the stares. Alec cleared his throat when they both stopped right next to their table. “You lookin' for someone?”

“A girl,” her father said. “ 'Bout your age. Red hair and freckles.”

“Just missed her, mate,” Alec said. “Think she went off lookin' for the toilets.”

She could hear her father mumbling about something she couldn’t quite hear before finally inching closer to the table. “Thanks son. Which direction is that?”

“Through those doors over there.” She couldn’t see which way he was pointing. Her parents turned and walked away towards where-ever he’d pointed them. Should she come out now or wait a minute or two? She could hear Alec shifting in his seat before his smiling face suddenly appeared beneath the table. “You a'right down there?”

“They're gone, yeah?” she breathed, resting against his knees.

“They are.....”

She climbed out from beneath the table and reclaimed her seat. Alec seemed distracted, toying with a thread on his shirt. She pulled her phone from her bag, flashing a warm smile at him. “So...what’s your number? Maybe I’ll give you a ring an’ we can go catch a movie next week?”

*******************************

Alec cracked another small smile as he stared at the text message on his phone from Nina. He was truly surprised that this fit little red-head bird had actually asked for his number. And she was a total knock-out too. He knew he wasn’t bad looking by any stretch of the imagination, but after being rejected again and again simply because of his limitations, he wasn’t even sure how to react to finally getting a date. She’d even walked with him around the campus a bit as they took in their new surroundings. She would be residing on campus in the dorms while he would be commuting through the local public transit from home. They’d talked about everything. When she asked more about his parents, he’d kept it simple: “Mum's a homemaker. Dad's a retired musician.” She’d pressed a bit more about his Dad and was genuinely surprised to find out he was the celebrity kid people had been talking about. Gorillaz had been before her time but she was familiar with his television and film work. She’d taken some film classes at her boarding school and musical scores had been a heavy topic, his Dad’s name even coming up through several discussions. He’d always found it a bit unsettling that everyone remembered who his father was even if growing up with famous parentage had been his normal.

They’d parted ways back at the main hall and he found himself in a corridor, almost giddy at the realization that he had a date. A _real_ fucking date. His teen years had been riddled with rejection after rejection, sprinkled with mocking laughter in between. Eighteen years old, just finally getting into Uni and he finally had managed to meet someone and they were going to go on a date next weekend. She’d mentioned wanting to catch that remake of _Interview With the Vampire_. He had no opinion on the film choice and was down for whatever she wanted to see. Mum loved the original film and had been a fan of the books since she was a teenager and was appalled when they’d announced the plans to remake it. Nina said the original was pretty good. He’d never seen it. Never really thought about it. He’d read the books. Bit long winded but not terrible. Wasn’t sure people needed an entire paragraph dedicated to describing the rails of a New Orleans townhouse. He did find it funny when his Mum went on a tirade over the remake when it had first been announced. She’d compared it to remaking The Wizard of Oz or Gone With the Wind (didn’t they actually do that with one of them?).

He continued to look down at the text, not bothering to hide his smile. She’d even taken his phone and took a quick selfie to add her info to his contacts. He was glad she’d done that because he usually had to have one of his parents do that because the voice commands on the phone only did so much. Glancing at his phone also made him aware of the time and he’d been MIA for the better part of two hours. His parents were probably scouring the entire campus for him. Shrugging, he continued his trek towards the set of double doors at the end of the corridor that should open up to the round-about, if he’d read the campus map correctly. He was still at the halfway point when the doors opened and he spotted his Mum peeking in and catching sight of him. Upon spotting him, Hailey slipped through the doors and started to walk towards him. “There you are...we’ve been looking all over. Your Dad wants to roll.”

Alec merely shrugged. “Sorry...had t’ check thins’ out for myself.” He held out his phone to show her the picture of Nina. “Had a nice lil’ coffee with her at the cafe. She gave me her number an’ we have a date next weekend.”

Hailey looked down at the picture, smiling broadly. “Nice! She looks really sweet.” She put her arm around his shoulders as they slowly made their way towards the double doors that led to outside. No doubt his Dad was out there with Amy at the car, chain-smoking because he was eager to get the hell out of there. He’d never attended Uni and Alec suspected the old man was a bit overwhelmed and on edge from the size of the campus and even the crowds. Murdoc didn’t mind crowds when he was on stage and soaking up the adoration, but being in the thick of them made the man feel claustophobic, which had honestly surprised Alec.

Pushing his way through the double doors, he spotted the car with Murdoc standing beside it, cigarette clamped between his lips and dark eyes scanning around. If Alec didn’t know any better, the man looked as if he was trying to become one with the car. Upon seeing them, Murdoc cracked a smile. “Christ, ‘bout time Hailey found you, boy. Was gonna leave you here if we didn’t find you in the next ten minutes or so.”

Hailey gestured at Alec’s phone. “He met a girl. Got her number and they’re going on a date next weekend.” Okay, no need to announce it. Granted, he knew they would make a big deal about it because they’d been front row and center to the aftermath of the different rejections he’d faced through his teen years. Murdoc handled it the only way he knew how – crude humor and some not so subtle insults while Hailey simply listened to him and only offered advice when asked. It sometimes had Alec wondering just how his parents had managed to connect because their personalities seemed too vastly different. Could simply be age. They were older and in different stages of their lives versus when they’d first met, right?

Alec passed Murdoc the phone, showing him Nina’s picture. “We kinda met in the cafe. Had a cup of coffee with her an’ we chatted ‘bout stuff. She asked for my phone to give me her number. Wanted t’ know what I was doin’ next weekend.”

Murdoc let out a chuckle as he looked over the image on the phone. “The Niccals charm...Passed on from generation t' generation.”

Alec smiled, tossing his cane into the backseat of the car. “She's actually really nice, actually. Didn't seem concerned about my....err....difficulties or an'thin'...”

Murdoc’s smile faltered a bit at the corners, but he recovered quickly as he passed Alec back his phone. “She’s quite the looker. Hold onto her, son. Dun' let her get 'way.” He gestured towards Hailey as she climbed into the driver’s side of the car. “How do you think I snagged this one?”


	3. Family Feud

Murdoc absolutely despised dressing up. He avoided it at all costs. Even when he’d attended black tie events, he’d fought tooth and nail against being trapped in some penguin suit. And if there was one thing that Murdoc hated more than having to dress up, that was having to dress up to impress some pompous cunt. Though he had never met Trevor Richards, he already dislike the bastard. Why exactly were they meeting up for dinner anyway? Oh, that’s right – Murdoc's son and Trevor's daughter were dating. Bug fucking whoop. They were only dating, not like they were engaged. There was absolutely zero fucking reason Murdoc needed to dress up and go make nicey nice with some arrogant muppet. Richards was old money and if there was anything Murdoc had learned once he’d joined ranks with the financial elite it was that no matter how much he managed to make in his lifetime, old money would always look down their nose at him. People like him were never given a chance and he was no longer interested in trying.

Nina had filled them in on the kind of people her parents were. Uptight tossers! More concerned with appearances than happiness. Murdoc didn’t understand any of that bullocks. What was the point of living and finding a partner if you couldn’t be happy? Hailey made him happy. Didn’t Trevor’s lil’ wife make him happy? Alec made Nina happy and Nina made Alec happy. That was all that should’ve mattered. Who cared which Uni you got your degree from or what family you hailed from? Nobody cared about pedigree and bloodlines anymore. Outdated rubbish! He was King Fucking Niccals and he hailed from a stinking pit called Stoke and you could either take him or leave him. He was born without a penny to his name and had fought his way to the top so the rest of the world could kiss his narrow arse. And he would tell Trevor that if the tosser decided to get out of line, which he was sure to do. The man had already shown his arse by expressing his opinion over his precious virginal daughter _dating a cripple_ and there was little else he could say or do to make Murdoc like him.

Hailey emerged from the master bathroom, pinning her hair up off her neck. “Don't forget your tie.” She was wearing that slinky black dress he’d seen her pick out from the little boutique the other day. He’d wondered why she was picking out something so formal. Shame it was for this because he’d gotten his hopes up that she had purchased it for them to play dress up. Still feeling his stare on her back, she turned slowly and gestured towards the bed. “Please hurry. We don’t have much time.”

He sneered, staring down at the silk tie laying next to the itchy fucking sports jacket he only ever wore when he was stuck in meetings with network suits. “I dun’ think so. No way in hell I'm wearin' a tie, Poppet.” He grabbed a plain button down shirt from the closet and pulled it on over his shirt. “I’m washed an’ pressed. This is good ‘nough, damn it.”

Hailey shook her head, grabbing the tie and holding it out to him. “I took out the sports coat and tie, Murdoc...We're not going to the diner with Stu and Noodle, we're meeting up at that Thai restaurant in the city.”

“C’mon now, do we really need t’ dress up?” he protested as he buckled his belt.

“Yes,” Hailey said firmly as she grabbed a pair of ear-rings from her dresser and turned towards a small mirror, trying to put them in. “I’m not asking you to wear a tux, Murdoc, just a nice button down with the tie and jacket. It’s not the end of the world.” She was starting to look a little irritated, but he didn’t give a toss. She wasn’t his keeper and hell would freeze over before he did what she demanded of him – not unless there was something he could get out of this. Like maybe bending her over the dresser for a quickie before taking off. Keep the dress on, though. Or how about a compromise? He stared down at the tie and jacket, a small smile spreading across his face. He grabbed the tie and tied it loosely at his neck, grinning at her. She’d turned as he was tying it, sighing in exasperation and rolling her eyes. “Seriously?”

Matching glares, he pulled the tie over his head and tossed it back to the bed. “If that tosser has a problem with my appearance, he can go fuck right off then.”

“Nobody is asking you to like the asshole.” She disappeared into their closet a moment before emerging with a pair of black heels. “Just tolerate him enough for us to have a nice dinner. It’s a courtesy thing, okay? Meet up with her parents, make nice and shit. It would mean the world to Alec, you know. He really likes Nina.”

“Of course he fancies her,” Murdoc said through a laugh. “She was his first an’ he got t’ tap it on a first date.” Cackling, he sauntered up behind her, arms around her waist. Resting his chin against her bared shoulder, he flashed a smile. “Speakin’ of tappin’ it...think we can spare fifteen minutes? Keep on the dress, though.” He let his hands slide across the fabric up to her breasts, giving them a hard squeeze. “I think we can take fifteen. Be fashionably late or whatever it is they call it.”

“Behave, old man,” she warned, pushing his hands away. “We can work on that when we get back.”

Cracking a grin, he buried his face into her hair and pressed his hips into her rump. “Mmmmm.....is that a promise?”

“Take it as you will,” she muttered, pulling out of his grasp and quickly fixing her hair.

“Christ, I wanna take it right now,” he huffed, examining his own reflection in the mirror. Right, he didn’t look like too much of a tosser. Jeans, t-shirt with a nice button down over it, plain boots. His gaze fell to the glasses perched on his nose. Maybe ditch these just for tonight? Was that a good idea? The menus at the Thai restaurant had such small type and he always found himself squinting at them even in his glasses. Okay, leave them on. He needed to be able to see obviously. Flashing a smile, he raked his hand through his silver hair and tucked the t-shirt into his jeans. There, now he was a bit more put together. His shirt was tucked. She should be kissing his arse now that he at least did that.

She didn’t stop giving him the side eye as they made their way outside to the car. He frowned, looking back at the dark house before returning his attention the equally dark and empty car. Something was amiss, wasn’t it? They were going to dinner, it was supposed to be a big family affair type shindig and yet there was no sign whatsoever of Amy. He could’ve sworn he’d seen her barely a hour or two ago and she’d been in her room blaring music as most thirteen year olds did. “Where the hell is Amy?” he asked as they got into the car. “Isn’t she comin’ ‘long with us?”

“No,” Hailey muttered, fixing the hem of her skirt in the passenger seat. “She's spending the night over at Tessie's. Stu picked her up a half hour ago.”

“Wait a bloody minute!” he barked, reaching for the emergency brake. “If she gets t' pussy out, so do I!” What the hell kind of bullshit was this? He has to get wrangled into this clusterfuck and Amy got to sit this one out? In what world was that fair?

“It is a good thing she isn’t going,” Hailey snapped back. “ _You_ have some level of control over your filter. _She doesn't_.”

“No fuckin’ dice, Hailey. If she isn’t goin’ then I’m not goin’. I dun’ want t’ do this.” He glowered at the steering wheel, gripping at it with white knuckles. Why was this such a hard concept for her to get? Nina’s parents had already ruined their first impression by trashing on Alec and no way in hell was he going to sit there at a table with them and play nice when they called his boy a fucking _cripple_. “Her father called our son a cripple, Hailey. Does that not bother you?”

Sighing, she nodded her head. “Of course it bothers me. Nina’s father sounds like a fucking prick and what better way to get under his skin than to show up and kill his rotten ass with kindness.”

Murdoc shook his head, still refusing the move the car. They might have calmed down a bit in their older years, but Hailey actually suggesting that they kill with kindness? Did the body snatchers take her over or what? The fucker called their boy a fucking cripple, for Satan’s sake! How could Hailey even suggest sitting there at a dinner table and being nice to the fucking arsehole? “Fine...but if that muppet says an’thin’ out of line, dun’ get mad if I put him in his place. We crystal?” She nodded but said nothing as she lit a cigarette. At least they could reach a compromise on this. Still didn’t mean he wanted to be there, but if there was a chance to take a few shots at the man, Murdoc was all for it. Smiling in triumph, he started the car up and pulled out into the road. At least they were going to his favorite restaurant to eat. It wasn’t high class dining, but it was classy enough that showing up looking like a biker would get you tossed onto your arse. He frowned, glancing down at his attire. Hopefully the girls don’t give him too much grief in this get-up. He usually did make a point to dress nicer when they went there to eat. Button down shirt tucked in, regular jeans, the dress shoes he kept buried in his half of the closet. He was dressed a bit more casual than normal. At least Hailey didn’t tackle him and force him to wear what she’d picked out. And at least he was wearing the shirt she chose, he just decided it would make a better over shirt with his Rolling Stones tee.

The drive into the city was mostly quiet, neither one of them talking much. Hailey was still irritated with him, her body language giving it all away. Stiff and pressed against the seat, arms loosely folded across her chest with her gaze out the window. She’d also smoked like three cigarettes during the course of the twenty five minute drive. He wasn’t too concerned with it because he knew by the time they got back home, she’d be back to her normal self. Besides, she was the one who’d tackled planning this sodding dinner and probably was stressed out hoping that it would go as smooth as possible. She disliked Trevor Richards as much as he did and had certainly said quite a bit regarding her thoughts of the man. But she also wanted to make Alec happy and actually try to be cordial since it was clear both Alec and Nina were a bit more serious than they’d originally let on. They would probably have to put up interacting with Nina’s parents more than once and didn’t want things to go off on the wrong foot. That was all fine and dandy, but didn’t Trevor hit off on the wrong foot when he insulted Alec? Alec had motor control problems due to a brain injury. Not something he could help. And the lad was sharp as a tack, his physical limitations be damned! He was doing great in Uni and they’d helped him get a flat near the campus. He was as self sufficient as one could be given his limitations. He even had a job at the local market. Not fucking bad for a kid with a tremor and needing a cane to walk.

Once parked, they made their way inside and as the hostess led them around, he spotted Alec and Nina already seated at a table near the back. Neither were smiling and if Murdoc didn’t know any better, they were exchanging anxious glances at one another. Lovely, so everyone was on edge about this and the turds of the hour hadn’t even shown up yet? This dinner was going off on a smashing start! He dropped down into his chair directly across from them while Hailey circled around the table to give them both a hug. It was a bit surprising to see Alec sporting a slate grey suit and tie. They’d purchased that suit when he graduated secondary school over six months ago. He’d been as vocally opposed to wearing the sodding thing as Murdoc was when it came to fancy dress. Nina was wearing a soft brown sheath dress with matching shawl and just the right amount of cleavage. Murdoc found himself frequently glancing at her rack, wondering if this was gross of him to do so seeing that she was involved with his kid. A quick look hurts no one, yeah? Besides, they were quite nice on the eyes and she even had freckles. Freckles on a pair of cans? Did that happen? Momentarily distracted by Nina’s chest, he didn’t catch that Alec was glaring at him across the table. And as soon as their eyes met, Alec started talking. “One night in a high end restaurant an' you can't even wear a sports coat an' tie?”

Murdoc blinked, flashing a glare back at the young man. “I'm the one payin' for this shit, I can dress how I fuckin' want.” Okay, at least he didn’t notice him ogling. That wouldn’t have gone over well. “If Trev an’ his lil’ wifey have a problem with it, I’ll be sure t’ set them straight.”

Alec's face paled, trembling hands in his hair. “One night is all I ask, Dad. One bleedin’ night. One night where you dun’ insult ever’one ‘round you an’ show your arse.”

Momentarily speechless, Murdoc stared across the table at Alec, his dark eyes narrowing behind the glasses. He knew this was an important thing to Alec, but the boy didn’t have to get so fucking uptight about it. At least Murdoc actually showed up and at least he was fucking sober. He could have easily just said fuck it and sent Hailey to deal with this rubbish so he could stay home, drain what was left of some Sailor Jerry and go wank off to their DVD collection upstairs. “Dun' you dare tell me how I should an' shouldn't act, boy. Me an' your Mum are payin' a bloody fortune for this fuckin' meal. I didn’t even want t’ do this. I’m only doin’ it b’cause your fuckin’ mother is makin’ me do it.”

Hailey made a noise, now at him from her place beside him. “Really? Is that necessary?”

“Fuckin’ yes it is,” Murdoc grumbled, refusing to meet her gaze. “Told you I didn’t want t’ do this. You lot were the ones who wrangled m’ arse in t’ this.”

Alec continued to grumble under his breath, but seemed content leaving it all well enough alone. That worked for Murdoc just fine. The conversation shifted to the classes Alec and Nina were taking as well as some hot gossip from the campus. Murdoc listened but mostly just nursed his glass of water and casually looked around the restaurant. Must have been a slow night because usually the place was packed. He brought his attention back to the table, dully noting that Nina seemed to be staring at him. No, she was looking beyond him. Staring past them towards the entrance, her face going pale and lower lip trembling. “Mum! Dad! You made it!”

Murdoc uttered a groan, lowering his gaze to the table. And so it begins. He could hear chairs shuffling as people around him started standing. Hailey was already getting to her feet, extending a hand and introducing herself. He felt her hand tug at his shirt, pulling at his shoulder. Groaning again, he slowly turned around and stood up, staring up at Trevor Richards. Richards was a tall and well proportioned man with blondish hair trimmed neatly and failing to hide a bald spot. The man was also staring down at Murdoc as if he were an insect. Great, this was already going to go south, eh? His grimace cracked into a toothy smile as he extended his hand out to the other man. “Murdoc Niccals. Pleasure, Trev.”

“Mister Richards,” Trevor corrected flatly. “You can call me Mister Richards.”

Narrowing his eyes, Murdoc merely chuckled as the two men shook hands briefly. “I've got you by at least fifteen years, Trev,” Murdoc cackled. “If an'one should be referrin' t' someone as 'Mister', it would be you t' me. That whole respect your elders thin’, yeah?” When Trevor merely cocked an eyebrow at him, he turned his attention to the tasty little dish at his side. Laura Richards stood maybe a few inches taller than Murdoc. She smiled graciously when he took her hand and planted a kiss on her knuckles. There was little doubt in Murdoc’s mind who Nina had taken after as far as looks were concerned. Laura was trim, slender, had a great set of knockers and the same fire red hair that Nina had. “Now I see where Nina gets her knock-out looks, love.” He could feel Trevor’s gaze boring into him as he continued to toss out a few more flatteries in Laura’s direction. Even Hailey was staring at him and he could almost hear the thoughts in her head screaming at him to sit down and stop. If they all wanted him to act like an uptight tosser then he’d do just that. And didn’t uptight tossers lay the flattery on thick? Not like he was being untruthful, the woman was a fucking knock out. She even had freckles across her tits too. Imagine that!

As Laura broke away to go find a chair, he could still feel Trevor glaring at him as he claimed the seat flanking Alec, now staring across the table at Murdoc. The waitress appeared suddenly, Murdoc nearly jumping out of his skin when she spoke. He’d completely forgotten that they had yet to order drinks or anything. He ordered his regular, rum over ice. Both Hailey and Laura ordered that gross rose shit that some broads still loved to drink. Could be worse. The White Claw rage might still be happening. Whoever thought adding alcohol and flavor to fizzy water must have been on some drugs because that was probably the most disgusting thing Murdoc had ever tried. And he’d tried nearly every-fucking-thing. “Glad you lot could make it,” he said finally, smiling broadly at them from his place at the table.

Not bothering to return the smile, Trevor merely cleared his throat. “So...you were the guitar player for Gorillaz, right? The bassist, if I recall. I remember some of their stuff. Not bad. Not the greatest, but not bad.”

“We were the best thin' outa England since the Beatles,” Murdoc said in a matter of fact tone. “Put my name in your mouths, didn’t it?”

“The world famous bad-boy, Murdoc Niccals,” Trevor chuckled, nursing a whiskey on the rocks. “I remember readin' 'bout you, mate. You an’ the police were on a first name basis, it seems. Lots of questionable habits that got you nicked while tourin’.”

Murdoc met the man's gaze, feeling the challenge. “Over an' done with, Trevor m’ boy. A part of my past I dun' regret, but dun' want t' re-live.”

“I see.” Trevor kept his gaze level with Murdoc’s, almost smirking at him. “You weren’t concerned with pickin’ up an STI or an’thin’? Was your wife not concerned? I imagine you have some regrets for being a bit of a man-whore an’ speed freak, yeah?”

The muscles in Murdoc's face twitched, his dark eyes narrowing. “No more than an’ regrets you might have bein' an uptight fool, I'm sure. Oxygen must get pretty bloody slim when your head's shoved that far up your arse.”

“Appears I struck a nerve,” Trevor said, still smiling. “Though I must admit, findin’ out that you were settled down was a bit of a surprise. I imagine the rock an’ roll life must have been pretty hard t’ keep up with once you had a wife and a disabled child in tow.” He was dancing on some thin fucking ice now. Whether he was aware of how pretentious he was or had his head too far up his arse, Murdoc didn’t know. Sitting there and grinning at him as if there was some sort of big gotcha.

“The rock an' roll life was done an' over with before they became part of the equation, Trev,” Murdoc said in a low voice, bristling. “So I had a rocky past. Not uncommon, mate. The man I was then is not the man I am now. Let's move on, shall we?” Okay, easy enough to change the subject right? He wasn’t about to get into all that rubbish anyway. And he didn’t miss Trevor’s little jab about _disabled child_. Fucker should be lucky he was keeping himself in check. Alec wouldn’t say anything because – bless his Mum – he was raised with some functional manners, but this didn’t mean Murdoc wouldn’t smack an arsehole if needed..

Everyone at the table was staring at the two of them, probably wondering when ol’ Trev here finally stepped out of line. Trevor continued to nurse his drink, oblivious to the eyes on him. “How'd you meet your wife? She's American, yeah?”

Murdoc opened his mouth to speak, but Hailey quickly cut him off. She tried to sound nonchalant, but he could hear the tremor in her voice. “We met during the last world tour he did with the band.”

“So you were a groupie, then?” Trevor asked with raised eyebrows.

Hailey flashed him a hard look and this didn’t escape Murdoc. He had to remind himself to give her a few jabs on the way back home. She was struggling to keep herself in check as much as he was! “No, nothing like that. I just happened to be at a local nightspot with some friends when he and Stuart had shown up.”

“Interestin',” Trevor muttered. “Is it normal t’ be out pub hoppin’ in your mid-thirties?”

Hailey smiled sweetly, but the muscles in her face were tense. “I was only in my early thirties, Trevor. And things obviously went in that direction. Met him, had Alec, got married, had Amy...”

“An' it wasn't because of obligation? Did you an’ him party it up a bit an’ found out ‘bout Alec when it was too late?” Trevor asked with raised eyebrows. “I've done some research on you lot. You two met in the fall of 2010. Alec was born summer of 2011. Was he an accident or were you hopin’ t’ get somethin’ else?”

Hailey remained frozen in her seat, staring at him with narrowed eyes. “I’m not sure how that is any of your damned business. Why do you care how things got started with us?”

“I just find it a bit suspect that you two hooked up an’ less than ten months later had a kid,” Trevor hissed back, meeting her glare. “It’s only natural I want t’ make sure my daughter is involvin’ herself with a decent family.” He opened up his menu, looking up briefly and meeting Murdoc’s acidic gaze. “Now, ‘bout your boy. Is that hereditary or was it something in utero?”

Murdoc sneered, glaring at the other man across the table. “What’re you implyin’?”

“Alec’s disabilities...is it a genetic defect from one of you or was it from some kind of substance exposure in utero?” He frowned, matching glares with Murdoc when neither one of them responded. “Still dun’ understand? How. Much. Did. She. Drink. While. Pregnant?”

Alec got to his feet. “Oi, that’s not fuckin’ necessary! You’re talkin’ ‘bout m’ mother!”

Murdoc peered over the menu, chewing against his lower lip so hard, he could taste blood. “You got some big fuckin’ balls, mate.” He slammed the menu down, elbows resting on the table. “Look, I’m not gonna sugar coat shit. You’re a prick. I dun’ like you. The moment I found out you called m’ son a cripple, I _really_ didn’t like you. Last person t’ do m’ son wrong found out real quick why you dun’ fuck with Niccals.” Taking a breath, he held up his menu. “Now, let’s order food an’ get this torture over with so we can get back t’ our respective homes an’ bitch t’ our women ‘bout each other, eh? Poor kids here probably are dyin’.”

Trevor raised his menu up, nodding curtly. “Sounds like a splendid plan.”

Murdoc returned his attention to the menu, skimming through the different dishes. He already knew what he wanted to eat but needed a moment or two to collect himself. Where did this cunt get off assuming Alec’s disabilities were from alcohol exposure? Did Alec look mentally deficient to him? He was in Uni, for christ’s sake. He had some programs to help him with his courses but otherwise was doing good. He was living on his own. He sought out a part time job. Hell, he managed his own doctor visits and med adjustments and Murdoc couldn’t even be arsed to do that for himself. He always had Hailey handle all that shit. He continued to browse the menu, chewing at his lip. He could see the waitress approaching just out of his immediate field of vision. Hmmmm, maybe it was time to make this a bit more entertaining? Murdoc smiled up at the waitress when she reached their table. Ordering his and Hailey's meal, he winked at Trevor, who was staring at him almost dumbfounded. Well looky here, _Mister knows everything about the Niccals_ didn’t know ol’ Murdy could speak Thai. Gesturing the waitress back over, he whispered in her ear, hearing her giggle as he made his request. The waitress bowed and circled the table to take the rest of the orders, Alec ordering for both him and Nina, speaking as fluently and rapidly as Murdoc. Once the waitress got to Trevor and Laura, she frowned as he pointed at the menu. “What's this?” he asked, gesturing at the page.

“No English,” the waitress said, shaking her head.

“No English?” Trevor frowned, flashing a dark look in Murdoc’s direction. “Your establishment caters to English speakin' customers, dear. If you can't speak it, why are you workin' here?”

“No understand,” she whispered meekly. “No English.”

Cracking a smug grin, Murdoc gestured for Trevor's menu. “Whatchya want, mate?”

“Just some soup an' a side of rice noodles,” Trevor said, now sounding less than confident.

“Oi, no need t' be a cheap date, man,” Murdoc laughed. “Get some duck or somethin'. The broccoli an' beef here is outstandin' as well.” Glancing over the menu, he rattled away quickly at the waitress, who smiled and bowed before taking the menus and leaving them alone again. “The girls here can cook up some mean dishes, Trev.”

Trevor stared at Murdoc, his mouth momentarily slack. “Where did you learn Thai?” he asked finally, glaring daggers.

“Did a lot of travelin' while with the band, Trev,” Murdoc laughed. “An' contrary t' what we see in films.....they dun' understand _five dollar sucky sucky_.”

Nina let out a burst of laughter. Even Alec had started to giggle. This fueled Murdoc even further, glad to see his own prude of a boy could get a good laugh at Trev’s expense. Alec rarely ever found his antics funny and Murdoc had enjoyed the last decade giving the boy a ration of shit whenever he could. But Trevor was far from amused, scowling at all of them. “You learned Thai in a whorehouse?”

“A brothel,” Murdoc corrected with a shrug. “Gotta watch for them hell-cats. Shoulda got a refund. Was pissin’ fire for ‘bout a week or two after some rounds with them. I paid good money t' get my nob sucked an' fucked, not get the clap.” Meeting the other man’s gaze, he cracked another grin, enjoying Trevor’s discomfort. He could do this all day. Keep it coming, Trevor ol’ boy. He’d dance circles around the mug. Much to his disappointment, Trevor wasn’t interested in continuing the conversation, mumbling into Laura’s ear and shaking his head. Probably wondering what kind of neanderthals his daughter was associating with. It was no secret that Trevor disliked Murdoc and probably the rest of them at this point. “C’mon now, Trev,” Murdoc cackled as he drained what remained of his glass. “No point gettin’ upset. Not like you an’ I need t’ have weekly meet an’ greets just b’cause our kids are fuckin’.”

“That’s our daughter you’re talkin’ ‘bout!” he snapped, jumping up from the table. “An’ honestly, I am wonderin’ what kind of brain damage she must have t’ even think datin’ your son was a good idea. Can’t imagine that acorn fell far from the tree!” A strange and uncomfortable silence fell to the table. He was so angry, he was shaking and this amused Murdoc more than anything. So ready to crack.

“Sit your arse down, Trev,” Murdoc laughed, gesturing at his chair. “Gonna blow a blood vessel if you keep that shit up. Look, Alec is a good kid. Shockin’ as it may sound, he’s nothin’ like me. Bit of a prude, if you want me t’ be honest. But gotta face a cold hard truth, Richards. They’re – what? – eighteen, nineteen years old? If you really believe they’re not fuckin’, then I got some beach front property in Arizona t’ sell ya.”

As luck would have it, food was on its way over. Good because he was ready for this shit show to be over with and he wanted his goddamned duck. Food was served and the group ate in silence. Laura and Hailey maintained a hushed conversation between themselves, Nina only occasionally chiming in. Some relief that at least they were getting along well. Alec kept flashing him dirty looks from across the table, but at least he kept his meat hole shut. Just be thankful it didn’t reach blows because he might be old but he hadn’t backed down from a fight yet in his life and today would not be that day. A few patrons had been looking in their direction, probably enjoying the free show they were getting. This was okay with Murdoc. If Trevor continued, it would only take a few well aimed jabs and he’d have the man running with his tail tucked between his fucking legs.

Trevor finished his food first, shoving the plate away. “Wish I could say you know how t' impress your guests, Niccals.....but so far this has been a less than entertainin' experience.”

“Dun' insult the hand that feeds, Richards,” Murdoc hissed through a bite of his duck. “Given how you’ve treated my family an’ generosity, I have a right mind t’ leave you with the soddin’ bill.”

Trevor let out a scoffing noise. “Of course you would. The epitome of class an’ etiquette, yeah?”

“Reckon I am,” Murdoc cackled, pushing his plate away. “Hailey an' I have been comin' here for our anniversary now for years an’ I haven’t been tossed out yet. I’ve never been out of line with the girls here. Haven’t done a dine an’ dash since I was a young man.” He narrowed his eyes at Trevor, almost sneering as he tucked back into his plate of food. “Yet since the moment you arrived, you’ve done nothin’ but take pot shots at my son, at my wife an’ at me. So who’s the epitome of class again? Dun’ think it’s you, Trev.” Shoveling a forkful of food into his mouth, he gestured towards the front entrance. “You wanna go outside an' measure our dicks, mate? Save you the trouble...you’d be humiliated.”

Trevor's face flushed a brilliant pink. “Only an uneducated low-life would resort t' such crass terminology.”

“ _Uneducated_? Bah!” Murdoc erupted into a fit of laughter. “Dun' insult my intelligence, man. If I really wanted t' be a dick, I'd have you refer t' me as Doctor Niccals. P.H.D, baby.”

“You're joshin'!” Trevor snapped back.

“Wanna see the doctorate?” Murdoc cracked a grin. “I can prove it, mate. Certified. I can write you a prescription for that high blood pressure you're currently dealin' with.....Or maybe you need somethin' else? Havin' some issues down south, maybe? Fix that, I bet you'd loosen up quite nicely.”

Pushing himself to his feet, Trevor gestured for Laura to follow. “I've had 'nough of this, Laura. Let's go home.” He glowered at Nina. “We will talk 'bout this later.” With a huff, the man stormed out of the restaurant, dragging poor Laura behind him. Murdoc wasn’t going to complain because he had a decent enough view of the woman’s very splendid looking backside as she rushed behind Trevor and out the doors.

“One night, Dad,” Alec groaned, glaring at him. “All I asked for was _one bleedin’ night_! Won’t be too surprised if he tries tellin’ her she can’t date me. Thanks....Thanks a lot.”

Murdoc finished his food, feigning indifference to what had just taken place. “Eugh....he'll get over it. He should be thankful...I’ve said much worse t’ people.” He continued to work on what remained of his plate, ignoring Alec’s venomous glares. “B’sides, you’re both adults. Not like he can forbid you two from seein’ each other, yeah? Fuck him. Do your own thin’.”

Hailey was staring at him with the same narrow eyed scowl that Alec had. Christ, how was it the boy could look like him but still mirror his Mum’s exact expressions? She huffed loudly, taking another drink from her glass of water. “Not going to disagree – he started off on the wrong foot, but you knew this dinner meant a lot to Alec. Least you coulda done was not antagonize him. Give Alec a hug or something.”

“Trev was a wanker,” Murdoc said, grabbing Laura's half finished plate and scraping her noodles onto his plate. “An' I am not huggin' the boy. We haven’t hugged since he was a tot.”

“Hug him, Murdoc Alphonce,” she warned.

“Dun' you dare say my middle name so fuckin' loud, woman!” Murdoc shot back, half cackling as he took a bit of the noodles. His eyes surfaced from the plate, seeing Alec merely sit there as he stared numbly at his food. Sighing dramatically, Murdoc extended his hand across the table. “Here, a handshake.”

Alec peered at the bony hand. “No. I'm not shakin' your hand, old man.”

Shoveling another forkful of noodles into his mouth, he frowned. “Shake it, boy!”

“I dunno where that hand has been,” Alec snapped, shoving his food away from him.

Murdoc’s face cracked into an ear to ear grin. “In your mother. Now shake the goddamned thin'!”


	4. Resistance

Alec shoveled the spoonful of Fruity Pebbles into his mouth, his green eyes narrowed to slits as he glared across the table at Murdoc, who also looked just outright peeved. Murdoc had to fight the urge to just reach across the table and slap the little shit silly. Sweet Satan and all the devils of Hell, he was so close to throttling the boy that he was a ball of nerves. Every little thing the boy did seemed to be out of spite. That was just fucking fine, he could hate him all he wanted, but it wasn't going to change how things had turned out. Not sure where the boy got off thinking he could show his arse like this and give his Mum lip. He expected it from Amy because she had always been a wild kid, much like Murdoc had been and she was also only five anyway. Challenging authority was normal at that age. But Alec was normally the quiet one, the subdued one. Puberty was a fucking curse. It was almost as if aliens had abducted the twelve year old and sent an impostor in his place! He’d sprouted in height and suddenly thought he could shoot his mouth off over everything. Grounded for a week without his precious electronics over bad marks in school? Well, he’ll just get in Hailey’s face. Being asked to help around the house? Fuck you, parental units, I’m gonna go hide in my fucking room and stink it up because I also haven’t showered in a week. Murdoc shook his head, refusing to look the boy in the eyes. If this was mild mannered Alec going through puberty, what the fuck awaited him in six years when Amy started? _Oh my fucking god_...she’d probably burn the bloody house down for looking at her cross-eyed!

“You had no right takin’ my game console,” Alec snarled through the mouthful of cereal, barely understood through the crunching. “You're a twat.”

“An' you think your presence is any more pleasant, you sweaty lil’ taint?” Murdoc spat back, lighting a cigarette. “When you bring your grades up an’ actually shower more than once a month, I just might give it back t’ you!” Murdoc rolled his head on his shoulders, feeling bones tweak and crunch. Christ, he needed a good shoulder rub or something. This kid was making him so fucking tense, he wanted to scream. “When you _do_ decide t’ join civilized society, we can fumigate that disgustin’ bedroom an’ start fresh.”

Alec merely sneered at him as he shoveled another massive spoonful of cereal into his mouth. “That’s my stuff. You an’ Mum had no right touchin’ it. Or comin’ in t’ my room for that matter.”

Leaning into the table, Murdoc folded his arms onto the surface, grinning broadly. “Gotta news flash for you, dear Alec. I paid for this house. I paid for the belongins' in that stinkin’ arm pit you call a bedroom. I paid for the game console. So, if you wanna get technical, all that shit was mine an’ I’m free t’ do as I please.”

“Once you gift them, they’re no longer yours, you stupid old man,” Alec grumbled through the mouthful of food.

Murdoc bristled at the remark. Oooh, the boy was really pushing his luck, wasn’t he? Old man? _Old man?_ The Niccals was only fifty-seven years old, thank you very fucking much. Hardly old. Only threw his back out once and that had been trying some new move and discovering that he couldn’t support both his and Hailey’s weight like he used to. Couldn’t point that out to the boy, though. He wasn’t an undisciplined animal. Alec, on the other hand, had become just that. Aside from the amount of lip he’d been shooting off, when Hailey had gone upstairs to deal with one of the lad’s tantrums, Alec had actually thought he could get in her face and scream at her. Had even pushed her into a wall. Murdoc had heard the scuffle and had run upstairs in time to see the boy push Hailey. He had Alec pinned against the wall in seconds flat. Murdoc had been angry in the heat of the moment but actually had been a bit surprised once he’d walked away and had a chance to rehash what had happened. Alec, who had always been a sweet and passive boy, was so fired up by rage and hormones that he thought he could take Hailey on. Sighing, he took a drink from his coffee. They did what they did because they cared and wanted him to be successful. Why was that so hard for him to understand? “Look,” he said finally, looking Alec in the eye, “if we didn’t care, we wouldn’t do what we do.”

Alec shook his head. “Whatever. You dun’ care. If you did, you wouldn’t be takin’ my shit ‘way.”

“Obviously, I do,” Murdoc said, the humor gone. “I put up with your shit an’ your mouth, yeah? Didn’t kick your arse when you thought you could get in Hailey’s face, pushed her in t’ a wall an’ give her lip. An'one else who talked t' me an’ Hailey like you’ve been doin’ woulda found themselves on the receiving end of my boot up their arse.”

Both of them jumped when Hailey spoke up, apparently she’d been standing at the foot of the stairs just outside the kitchen and Murdoc guessed had overheard quite a bit of their conversation. “He’s right, Alec.” She emerged from the sitting room area and made a brisk walk towards the coffee maker. “We’re both a bit tired of the mouth and the attitude. It’s not necessary.”

Alec shoved his cereal away and stood up, mumbling under his breath as he started a shuffling walk towards the stairs. Murdoc stared at the half eaten bowl of food, feeling his irritation rise to new levels as Hailey’s barks of disposing of the food and rinsing his dish fell on deaf ears. Still grumbling, Alec disappeared from the kitchen, leaving both Hailey and Murdoc there to stare at the dish in shock. Bristling, Murdoc snatched it up and took it over to the sink. “Boy’s dancin’ a thin line,” he hissed, rinsing the bowl out. “Can we lock him in his room for the next five years?”

Hailey dropped into her chair at the table, coffee in hand. “I think Children’s Services would frown on that.” Why did she care about what they thought? This was their son, wasn’t it? Children’s Services would probably have a coronary over the so-called abysmal treatment Alec was getting. He’d heard enough horror stories through the years. Wasn’t there also an article a while back over them getting involved because a parent took away their kid’s phone and actually ordering the parent to give it back? Their job was to meddle in everyone’s business and tell people how to raise their kids. If you weren’t raising them all ponies and fucking rainbows and catering to their every spoiled little want, Children’s Council wouldn’t hesitate to paint you as abusive or neglectful. And regardless of the money they had, he and Hailey’s backgrounds would be up for grabs with them as proof they were inefficient at parenting. Just thinking about them involving themselves and making their lives difficult send a rippled chill down his spine. What if they tried to take Alec or even Amy? Christ, if they even suggest taking the kids, they better hope they were prepared for a stand off because they would be taking his kids from his cold dead hands.

Alec appeared suddenly back in the kitchen, looking at the two of them and not bothering to hide his disgust. “You lot are bein’ unfair. I have rights an’ you’re interferin’ with _my_ rights.”

Murdoc turned from the sink, glaring at the boy across the room. “The only rights you have are t’ be housed, fed an’ clothed, you ungrateful muppet.” Hmm, maybe having them take Alec for a week so he could see just how good he really had it wouldn’t be such a bad thing? Did they have those Scared Straight programs here in England? Did they have them for spoiled hormonal brats?

Sniffing, Alec remained in place and matched glares. “All the money you have an’ you think your only obligation t’ us is feedin’ us an’ keepin’ a roof over our heads? You gave me things as gifts an’ then took them ‘way as archaic methods of punishment an’ I want them back.”

Shrugging his shoulders, Murdoc put the dish into the dishwasher and turned to face the boy, arms folded across his chest. “An’ we both told you – get your grades up, start adjustin’ that rotten fuckin’ attitude an’ for the love of all that’s unholy – _take a fuckin’ shower._..I might give you back the game console an’ allow you out in the yard on weekends for fresh air.” When Alec huffed and turned to head back up the stairs, Murdoc stared at the place he’d been standing. Boy had some will, no doubt. Blinking, he filled his mug with some more coffee and reclaimed his chair. “If he goes one more day without a shower, Poppet, I’m gonna hose his skinny arse down.”

Hailey sipped at her coffee, now peering at Murdoc over the brim of the mug. “You know you're just falling right into his game, right? He wants you to react so he can play victim. Reminds me of someone else I know.”

Meeting her gaze, he cracked a smile. “Who? Amy? She’s six, that’s normal.” He let out a husky laugh when Hailey snorted into her coffee. “An’ for the record, he has a long way t’ go before he even reaches my level. Reckon continuing this lil’ game of his is good mental exercise. But I still won’t hesitate t’ hose him down if he doesn’t clean his smelly arse an’time soon.”

“I will pay to see you actually try to wrestle that boy out to the yard.”

“Who said an’thin’ ‘bout it bein’ in the yard?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “I’ll connect the front hose with the back hose an’ bring it up through a window t’ his fuckin’ room. Hose him in that crusty fuckin’ bed he sleeps in.” He laughed without meaning to, enjoying the mental picture of that lanky lil’ bastard kid of his squawking and shrieking as Murdoc took the hose to him. The more he thought about it, the more appealing the idea became. Wash the kid and his bed in one go. The whole two birds and one stone thing, right? “Eugh.....he's hormonal an' irritable,” Murdoc said as he lit a fresh cigarette. “An’ my fuckin’ patience is runnin’ thin with him. Just b’cause his balls are finally droppin’ dun’ mean he can treat us an’ speak t’ us the way he is. A hose down will do him some good.”

“You better not bring the hose into the house,” Hailey said, failing to hide her smile. “I’ll make you clean it up.” Who the hell was she kidding anyway? He wouldn’t be doing anything of the sort. Once he had Alec and that room hosed, he’d made the boy himself finally clean it proper. She looked at him strangely, the smile there but strained, as if she knew what he was thinking. “And no, you’re not gonna make him do it either!”

“No fun, Poppet, no fun.” Letting out a chuckle, he got to his feet and sauntered out of the kitchen. He could hear her giggling into her coffee as he made his way towards the French doors. Maybe go for a walk and enjoy the woods a bit. Better than remaining in the house smelling that kid or his bedroom. If he did stick around, there was a high probability the hose would end up indoors and he’d be chasing Alec down with it. Wait, chase wasn’t a good word. Couldn’t chase Alec because Alec couldn’t run. Crossing the grass, he grumbled a bit under his breath, feeling a bit like an arsehole. Can’t exactly attack the boy with the garden hose, now can he? Alec couldn’t defend himself nor run from it. At least once Amy hits this terrible stage in life, he would have zero fucking guilt over hosing her arse down. Not Alec, though. Murdoc would have the advantage because he was more mobile and as much as Alec’s current attitude irritated him, going after him with a hose only _sounded_ fun. Actually doing it was another matter entirely. Alec could fall. Alec could hit his head. He already had a seizure disorder from a brain injury. Murdoc would never be able to forgive himself if he’d done something to make it worse for the boy.

Making his way across the back of the property and towards the incline that descended into the treeline, he perked his ears when he realized someone had come out the doors behind him and was starting to follow him. Hailey had a distinct sound to her footfall because of her bad leg, but this step was clumsy and shuffling. He glanced over his shoulder upon reaching the incline, spotting Alec as the boy made the trek towards him with his cane clutched tightly in a trembling hand. “Can you wait for me, Dad? I’m gonna need help on the slope.”

Murdoc initially pondered over simply abandoning the boy and heading to the trail towards the creek on his own but he wasn’t sure he wanted to deal with more wrath upon his return because no doubt Hailey would jump into this cock up and he wasn’t in the mood. So he waited as Alec huffed his way across the yard, finally appearing at Murdoc’s side. The two of them stared down the incline. Maybe there was a way to cut this into steps of some kind? Should he consider this? Would make it easier for all of them, yeah? Taking a breath, he stepped down carefully, holding Alec’s arm so he could follow. “Step where I step, Alec.” Alec did as instructed as the two of them slowly made their way down. Took longer than Murdoc wanted but he reasoned this was the price to pay when he decided to stick around for this whole parenthood gig. He just hadn’t been prepared for the seven circles of hell that was modern puberty mixed in with a special needs kid. And now being in close proximity, he could really smell the boy now. It was like the kid had bathed in a bucket of fucking onions. He thought about saying something but bit his lip and kept moving. They had reached the bottom of the incline anyway and he could put some distance between them. Keep the boy downwind. Maybe let some smells of his own out since Alec would be right in the line of fire. Would probably smell better too.

The two ventured down the trail and Murdoc did take note of some areas that needed some upkeep. A few shrubs had managed to taken over across the trail and it required moving around them entirely or stepping over them. He could hear Alec huffing and struggling and more than once had to pause on the trail and wait for the boy. Alec seemed determined to keep up, moving alone as best as he could. It didn’t take long before they reached the clearing and Murdoc cleared a spot near a birch to sit himself down and light a cigarette. “Go ‘head an’ take a seat, Alec. I know that took a lot outa ya.”

Alec looked around before slowly easing himself into a pile of leaves directly across from Murdoc. “Why’d ya come out here?” he asked as he got himself as comfortable as he could, laying his cane across his lap. “Tryin’ t’ ‘void Mum makin’ you help her clean?”

“Fresh air.” Murdoc exhaled smoke into the damp and still chilly air. Part of him entertained the idea of letting the boy know that he was getting ripe but he had to remember his own adolescence. He could remember being mocked for how he had smelled and he’d been fucking embarrassed by it. Granted, for him it had been entirely out of his control. As a lad, he’d carried the reek of his father’s flat. A flat that reeked of ball sweat, old food and despair. Puberty merely added to the smell as well as a seething rage towards everyone around him. But he’d used it to his advantage. Nobody wanted to get near you, let alone touch you, if you reeked high to the heavens. It had become his means to defense. But Alec didn’t have these excuses. This was puberty mixed with spoiled laziness. “So...when you plannin’ on throwin’ your rotten arse in t’ the shower?”

Alec’s passive expression twitched, a small scowl on his face as he looked over at Murdoc. “When you quit ridin’ m’ balls ‘bout it.”

“Listen, son, nobody’s gonna be ridin’ those balls if you dun’ wash them regularly,” Murdoc cackled, taking another drag from his cigarette. “Seriously, though...wash yourself an’ get that room cleaned up. Bleach it, even. An’ curb the fuckin’ attitude with me an’ your Mum. It’s really startin’ t’ get old.” He wasn’t sure what more there was to say. Both he and Hailey had said more than necessary time and time again with Alec. Clean his room once in a while. Shower regularly. Quit slagging off when it came to school work. These were not astronomical tasks.

“I want my game console back,” Alec shot back. “Gimme back the game console an’ I might consider it.” He could feel the boy’s challenge and wasn’t about to entertain it. Alec assumed growing a few fucking inches suddenly gave him a say in how they parented? Not by a fucking long shot. He was dancing on some thin goddamned ice as it was. Murdoc had a right mind to ship the boy to some sort of boot camp. Christ, if he’d dared talk to his father like this, he would have been beaten senseless and locked in the closet for days. Using Sebastian probably wasn’t the best example, but Alec surely had to recognize how fucking good he had it! Alec frowned at his lack of response, almost glaring at him now from across the clearing. “Did you hear me, Dad?”

Murdoc stubbed the cigarette out and sneered. He shouldn’t even humor this little shit with a response. Rising to his feet, merely scoffed at the boy and turned towards the creek, climbing over the sandy embankment between the two birches and dropped down, leaving Alec to struggle as he tried to get up. He paused at the water’s edge, staring down at the little flickers of shadows in the water, some pausing just long enough to be identified as some kind of small fish. From over the embankment, he could hear Alec huffing and grunting to get to his feet. Some little voice in the back of his head said he should at least make sure Alec is managing, but he couldn’t help but still be pricked by the lad’s attitude. He wasn’t a complete bastard though and when Alec appeared at the top of the embankment, he offered a hand so the boy could come down to the water’s edge without falling. Once Alec was standing beside him, Murdoc gestured out at the water. “How ‘bout I toss your stinkin’ arse in so we can at least get this bath thin’ over with?”

Alec shook his head. “I dun’ think so, old man. You throw me in an’ I’ll tell Mum!”

“She’s on board with whatever I want t’ do,” Murdoc muttered. “You’re not gettin’ an’thin’ back until you start actually earnin’ it back, we crystal? Want the game console? Then bathe, douche that blasted bedroom an’ get your grades up.” Alec didn’t respond and Murdoc allowed the silence the hang over them as they both watched the flitters of little fish dart around. Sometimes a slightly larger fish would pass by and then another school of those weird little black fish. Like minnow, or something. Murdoc gestured towards the water. “Think we could fish outa this thin'?”

Alec cocked an eyebrow, casting him a sideways glance. “Really? Fishin’? They'd be minnows or somethin'...”

“Pizza toppin' then, yeah?” Murdoc chuckled, toying with an unlit cigarette.

“That's really gross, y' know,” Alec snickered. “An' Mum dun' like fish on her pizza....”

Murdoc merely nodded, lighting the cigarette and taking a hard drag from it. He didn’t know anyone who liked fish on their pizza. He wasn’t even super gung ho about it. Matter of fact, most seafood still triggered weird and unwanted flashbacks to that rotten plastic island. He could stomach it now and again when they were looking for some variety in their supper routine but he despised the smell of it and often hid away in the studio or went outside when Hailey was cooking it. His gaze fell to a single little black fish, hovering in place right smack dab in the middle of the creek. Fleeting thoughts of diving in to catch it. They didn’t have things like this in Stoke, not that he’d found anyway. Never got a chance to be a kid and go out to catch frogs, lizards or even weird little fish. It was why he’d been completely engrossed in the wildlife here. Had even dragged both Alec, Amy and Hailey out of bed one early morning because he’d found animal tracks near the creek and wanted to show them. He and Hailey had grown up city kids with little access to the bliss of living close to nature so finding the tracks had been really exciting for him.

“Why are you such a hard ass?” Alec asked suddenly, startling Murdoc from his thoughts.

“B'cause I dunno any other way t' be,” Murdoc grumbled, exhaling smoke through his nose. “An' you're an arsehole right now.”

“Am not!” Alec protested. “If an'one's an arse, it's you!”

“An' your point is what?” Murdoc peered down his nose at him. “I a'ready know this, boy! Your Mum a'ready knows this! It just seems t' be news t' you all of a sudden.”

Alec shook his head, using his cane to scuff at the sand. “You’d think havin’ an ex rocker for a Dad would actually be cool.”

Murdoc stubbed out his cigarette, staring at the boy. “What? An' I'm not now?”

Alec looked up at him. “Is that a serious question?”

“Get off it, boy,” he spat, frowning at Alec. “I was worshipped by millions of women world-wide before you were even born!”

“Twelve, thirteen years ‘go,” Alec quipped.

“What-the-fuck-ever,” Murdoc snapped, no longer amused at the direction of the conversation. “I'm still in me prime. Remember....I _CHOSE_ your Mum. Coulda picked an’ bird out there an’ yet, I picked your Mum.”

“Odd.....'cause from how I heard it, she a'most told you t’ shove it up your bony arse.” Alec grinned smugly up at him, leaning into his cane for support.

Scoffing, Murdoc stubbed out the cigarette and shoved it into a pocket. “I was persistent.”

“You were horny an' hadn't gotten any in years.” Had that really come out of the boy’s mouth? Alec was still grinning at him, as if it was some grand gotcha moment. “I’m not wrong, am I?”

Murdoc made a noise, half chucking and half mumbling under his breath. Sugary Beelzebub and all the demons of hell, the boy was really really pushing the buttons today. “Tell me 'gain why you an' I are havin' this bleedin' conversation, Alec? We were talkin’ ‘bout you an’ your disgustin’ hygiene habits an’ somehow it ended up bein’ ‘bout me.”

“You insist on gettin’ the last word,” Alec said in a matter of fact tone.

“You keep encouragin’ it,” Murdoc grumbled.

Alec sniffed, giggling. “You keep takin' the bait.”


	5. Puppet Master

The chimes warbled through the house. Fuck all the demons of hell if this shit didn't sound like a dying fucking cat. Hadn't he told Hailey to call the repair bloke numerous times to get the bloody thing fixed? Truth be told, Murdoc couldn't even pin point exactly when the door chime started to go wonky. He did know that once he was aware of it, he brought up having someone come and fix it and Hailey gave her half arsed nod and grunt, which generally translated to _why don't you do it?_ With a huff, he descended the stairs, crossing the distance to the foyer and the front door. “Hold your horses, why dun' you? I'm comin', I'm comin'....” Pulling open the door, he found himself face to face with a man in a suit, smiling a big fake fucking smile, flashing tons of overly whitened teeth. Cocking his head, Murdoc smirked at the newcomer. “Err.....help you, mate?”

“Mister Niccals?” the stranger asked, still flashing his stupid smile. He was American and he certainly wasn't a young bloke, but he wasn't Murdoc's age either. Maybe early forties with frosted hair that was swept back from his balding head. Rather round and baby faced features, but the lines at his hazel eyes gave away his age, as did the lines at his mouth, which – Murdoc noticed – the man attempted to hide with a rather bushy seventies style porn-stache. “Mister Niccals, my name is Harvey Burnes and I work as a private investigator for Jason Walsh.”

“Who?” Murdoc asked, cocking an eyebrow. “Dunno no Jason Walsh...”

“Mister Walsh hired me to look into the disappearance of an Alicia Hunter, Mister Niccals,” Harvey said, the smile starting to fade.

Murdoc took a step back, his throat going dry. A private investigator? Here in England? On their bloody fucking doorstep? His mind picked apart the time and space that had passed since that night of hell. It had been six years since the shit in Seattle. Six goddamned years. Why now? And why is Jason pursuing this when he'd broken up with the woman years before her abrupt disappearance from society? And hadn't they run into Jason in the city not too long ago? Why not ask them about it more then? “Poppet!” he barked, peering over his shoulder into the house. “Hailey, I need you down here, love!”

Hailey emerged from the back patio, staring at the man with curiosity. Harvey flashed another smile when she appeared, his gaze falling to her leg as she approached the two men warily. Murdoc made a noise, wondering if she’d noticed the man’s lingering look at her legs. Was he aware of the leg injury? Had Jason been aware? Pausing right beside Murdoc, she looked at the strange man carefully. “What's going on?” she asked.

“This man says he's lookin' in t' what happened t' your friend, Ali,” Murdoc said, his eyes still on the strange man. “Apparently that Jason bloke hired him.”

“Is that so?” Hailey leaned forward, taking the stranger's hand. “What can we help you with?”

Harvey cracked another toothy smile, his eyes darting between the two who stood at the door. “Is it possible for me to come in and talk a little with you both?” They nodded, parting at the doorway to allow him through. Exchanging glances with one another as they claimed the sofa, Burnes seated himself in one of the overstuffed chairs. What exactly did this bloke know? It just didn’t seem real that the Amazon’s former partner would bother looking further into this. Wasn’t he hooked up with a new bird now? Why try to unearth history? The woman was missing and just leave it at that. Murdoc hated this because what if they accidentally said something that might make the private dick focus on them a little more? He didn’t want this weaselly man poking and prodding into their lives. Alec didn’t need this either. He didn’t even remember what happened, thank Christ for that. And they wanted to keep it that way. If this slime thought he could push to talk to Alec, they’d fight tooth and nail to keep him from the boy. This man had no reason to invade their lives now and Murdoc started calculating every which way they could get this Burnes bloke out of the house.

Hailey seemed mostly unconcerned, sitting beside Murdoc with her hands folded on her knees. Of course she’d be the picture of cool and collected, staring at the man who sat across from them with a rather bored expression, waiting for whatever questions the man had. Murdoc didn’t think Hailey would let anything slip, she was a champ in that regard. But what about him? They’d never bothered to discuss just what they would say should someone come sniffing around. They’d had no reason to ever discuss an alibi. The police had assumed they’d left due to Hunter’s harassment and that had been that. There’d even been the security video of the confrontation between Hunter and Hailey with Hailey very clearly telling her to leave her alone. There’d been witnesses even. Add to this the fact that Hunter’s apartment had been filled with enough evidence to back up their claims. Hunter had been unstable and had begun trying to stalk them. They’d decided it was best to cut their holiday short and come back home. That was the official version and nearly all the evidence pointed exactly in that direction.

Okay, just breathe, old chap. It’s a private investigator and he’s following up on a missing person case that went cold. The man was paid to look into things and tie up any potential loose ends. They were merely loose ends and nothing more. He had to make sure his bases were covered and this meant talking to the family that had been the missing woman’s target. And this stranger was looking over every little detail of their humble little home. He was staring at the caramel walls, at the dark rafters of the lounge, at the pictures of the kids, his focus on one in particular that featured both kids grinning sloppily at the camera. It was probably one of the most recent snaps taken of Alec and Amy. Murdoc wondered what the man was thinking as he absorbed their beyond boring and normal home. They kept the decorating simple, neither of them big fans of clutter. And Burnes was taking every inch of the lounge in as he got comfortable in the chair. Studying their home, studying them and their body language.

Burnes was staring at something across from him and Murdoc followed his gaze, realizing that the man was back to staring at the one snap of Alec and Amy together. “Beautiful kids,” he said finally, pointing at the picture.

“Eugh.....thanks,” Murdoc said almost dismissively. “That's Amy an' Alec.”

“So.....I guess I should start?” There was a tremble in Burnes’ voice as he spoke. “As I said, my name is Harvey Burnes. You can just call me Harvey. I'm a private investigator hired by Jason Walsh to find out what happened to Alicia Hunter. I am here because as far as everyone else knows, Hailey, you were one of the last people to see her. I'm in a difficult position here since the case is a cold case. Six years have passed. Memories are foggy and records are either gone or sealed....”

Hailey's brow furrowed, her eyes downcast. “The last time I even remember seeing her was at the market. She’d somehow tracked us and confronted me there. I kept trying to tell her to leave me alone, but she wouldn't listen.” She peered over at the newcomer, examining his expressions carefully. “I haven't seen her since, but I'd heard through the grapevine that she'd gone off the deep end a bit.”

“Nobody's pointing a finger at you, Hailey,” Harvey assured her, sinking back into the cushions of the chair. “A few found it odd that you, your husband and your son left so quickly. Around the time Alicia vanished, actually.”

“I was trying to live my life,” Hailey said in a low voice, staring straight into the man’s eyes. “She kept intruding. We decided that it was best to leave Seattle for good.” Hailey shrugged her shoulders, pulling a cigarette from her pack. “Reckon it was stupid to want to holiday there anyways. Defeats the purpose of avoiding someone if you keep going back to where that person lives.”

Harvey flashed the plastic smile, nodding his head. “Well, it was your home city, Hailey. Nobody can fault you for that.” He looked over at Murdoc, who was toying with a button on his shirt, his eyes only occasionally surfacing to look at their guest. Harvey turned his attention back to Hailey, pulling out his own cigarette. “Mind if I smoke?”

“Not at all,” Hailey murmured, smiling.

Harvey lit his cigarette, inhaling deeply. “What came between you two anyway, Hailey? From what I understand, you two had been friends for two decades, correct? Met when you two were in middle school, right? What happened that made you decide to throw it away and leave Seattle?”

“She said some horrible things,” Hailey said, her smile twitching at the corners, struggling to remain in place. “I won’t bore you with the details as I’m sure Jason filled you in with what was said since he had been there when it happened. I had decided at that point it was best to remove myself from her life and then Murdoc asked about me coming along with him, so I did. Figured a clean break was better than dragging it on for weeks, especially since it seemed like Alicia was starting to really unravel at the time.”

“Mister Walsh said it was because of Murdoc,” Harvey said, studying her face. Her expression was unreadable. Simply staring back at him, completely void of emotion. Murdoc knew this look well. Part of him wondered if this Harvey bloke recognized the mask. Weren’t private dicks supposed to be well versed on reading people? If Harvey recognized the mask, he wasn’t letting on, simply smiling as he took another drag from his cigarette. “You two had met then, right? While Murdoc here was touring with Gorillaz?”

“Correct,” Hailey said softly. “That was when we'd first met. She didn't like him, made her opinion pretty clear. Something went wrong, we argued, she opened her mouth and destroyed twenty years of friendship in under a dozen or so words. I decided then that it was time to move on.”

Harvey glanced over at Murdoc again, who was now staring directly at him. “So you go with him, five years pass and then you happen to run into her while on vacation back in Seattle?”

“That's the Clift Notes version,” she laughed. “But yeah, pretty much. I was living abroad, Harvey. I didn't want her to contact me. I figured she'd have gotten that clue when I left and never made an effort to get in touch with her. We took holiday in Seattle so I could have a taste of home. We'd been visiting in the city on and off through those five years. Then I find out that she'd been looking for me. Must not have looked that hard since I never like went into hiding or anything.”

A raspy chuckle erupted from Harvey as he leaned forward to tap his ash into the little glass ashtray. “It's interesting that she couldn't find you when Mister Walsh said she'd been trying so hard. I found several things dated from that time frame. Alec's birth announcement in a French entertainment magazine, a few early interviews Murdoc had with some magazines where his family was vaguely mentioned. Walsh had the police check her apartment and did find some interesting information that would have been near impossible to obtain without the right connections or money. It also appeared that she had obtained that information recently, which coincided with the brief confrontation in the market” He paused a moment, casually flickering his eyes between the two of them. “She kept pushing even with everyone – Mister Walsh included – telling her to leave you be.”

It was Murdoc's turn to laugh, almost cackling. “Yeah.....well, you know what they say 'bout blonds, mate.” He ignored the narrow-eyed look of scrutiny the man was giving him, taking a long drag from his own cigarette before setting in into the ashtray and cracking his knuckles. “Look, man, not sure what more you want from us. We weren’t aware of how far she’d gone in trying to track Hailey down. Not until some mates of ours said she’d showed up with a picture of us taken just the day before. And then I found out from Hailey that she’d tried to corner her at the market.”

“Oh yeah,” Hailey said softly, looked at Murdoc. “That’s right. Didn’t she get that picture from some website? Fans keeping tabs on you or something like that. Those kids who took that picture before you had yelled at them to leave you be. Once she found out it was a recent picture and saw the gallery, she had showed up trying to get information from our friends.”

Harvey scanned the two over carefully, watching their interactions. “What do you think happened to Alicia, Hailey?”

She paused, brow furrowed a moment before shrugging. “I have my suspicions. Given how she was the day of the concert itself followed by our confrontation at the store, I can only assume that she slipped further and further away from herself. She acted like I was incapable of doing anything for myself. Acting like it was her job to look out for me and refused to listen when I more or less told her to go fuck herself. It was fucking insulting, that’s what it was.” Her expression darkened, eyes narrowed as her gaze dropped to the table. “She felt that Murdoc was controlling me, that Alec was the only thing that tied us together, wanted me to abandon my family and resume my life with her as if the last five years hadn't happened.”

“That's what Mister Walsh said, more or less,” Harvey said, shifting his gaze between the two of them on the sofa. “That she'd become obsessed with finding you and bringing you back, whether you liked it or not.” He was still staring at the two of them. Monitoring every muscle twitch, every intake of breath, every blink. The man’s stare was unsettling as hell and Murdoc found himself struggling to steady himself. Hailey’s colder demeanor was most likely noted, something for the man to look back on when reviewing whatever notes he might write up regarding this interaction.

There was little doubt that Burnes had done his homework before showing up on their doorstep from halfway around the globe. He probably was well aware of their rockier pasts as well as the chaos and drama surrounding the 2010 tour – for both him and Hailey. Private investigators often worked the grey areas of the law when it came to investigating their targets and it was possible the man might very well have gained access to Murdoc’s juvenile records as well as Hailey’s foster care records, which also chronicled numerous run-ins with the local police when she’d started to run away from the less than stellar homes she’d been placed in. But none of this really cast any kind of incriminating light on them, it would have merely proved they’d been troubled youths. Their hurry to get out of the states might cast some suspicion, but given the situation and what the police had found when they did the welfare check on Hunter, one could easily say that they’d left in a hurry due to the harassment, which was the story they’d peddled. The police obviously thought the same because they hadn’t been bothered for years. A few follow up calls in the weeks following their return, but the case had more or less been closed as far as their connection was concerned.

Had something been overlooked by them? Had some scrap of evidence been left behind? The townhouse itself had been put back on the market and sold about a year later. They’d scrubbed the garage down with bleach and even ammonia along with using tarps to keep any more blood from staining the concrete. The bathroom where they’d handled one of the women had been scrubbed from top to bottom. They had gone over every inch of that townhouse and even the car rental in the effort to ensure nothing would be linked to them. That rental could very well be in a junkyard by now. They’d found out from their old neighbors Ted and Gayle that the new townhouse owners had repaved the garage and driveway and there’d even been talk of remodeling both bathrooms. So any evidence of their crimes was officially gone. Even if the police finally thought there was something suspicious now, all they would have was scraps of circumstantial evidence.

“I'm 'fraid this was a wasted trip,” Murdoc said abruptly, getting to his feet. “We know as much an an'one else, mate. We dun' have a clue what happened t' her. Last time we laid eyes on her, it was Seattle.” He rounded the sofa, padding silently to the kitchen. This man needed to leave. Though they were confident they could send him on his way without any real answers, it still irked him. The last thing they needed was some investigator nosing around where he wasn't wanted.

“There is one other thing,” Harvey said, loud enough for Murdoc to hear. “About a year ago, police were notified of partial human remains found in the woods just outside of Sumner. A human head partially wrapped in black plastic that had gotten stuck in a small tree off a logging road. Too decayed to identify or establish a cause of death. I guess a family out hiking had stumbled across it.” Murdoc could see the man staring at Hailey in the lounge, most likely trying to gauge her expression as he continued to speak. “DNA verified that it belonged to Chloe Turner, a former work associate of Hailey's.”

“An' that means what t' us?” Murdoc hollered from the kitchen as he emerged with a beer and reclaimed his seat beside Hailey. “Key word is _former_ , yeah?”

“She had been seen with Alicia a few times before both women disappeared,” Harvey said, looking directly at Hailey. “They disappeared around the same time. Both seemed quite interested in you and your family....”

Hailey shook her head, making a noise in her throat. “Chloe and I did indeed use to work together. But after I moved out of Seattle, I hadn't had contact with her at all. If they were involved in something together, I was unaware. Chloe was a nasty and cold woman, Harvey. She had crossed a great many people in her career. I wouldn't be entirely surprised if she crossed the wrong person finally and karma came back on her.” She flashed a sweet smile at the man. “If they were working together on something, then perhaps Alicia just happened to be at the wrong place, with the wrong person, at the wrong time.”

Harvey smile back, nodding his head. “The police have indeed considered that. But this essentially casts suspicion upon you as well, Hailey, seeing that you were part of a growing list of enemies the woman had made through the years. Your feud with her goes back to your college years together and didn’t Miss Turner nearly cost you your job?”

Hailey bristled at the remark. Murdoc was sure if he could feel it that Burnes felt it as well. But she maintained the cool smile, her gaze fixed on the man across from them as she slowly nodded. “That’s true, but I wouldn’t necessarily call it a _feud_ , Harvey. She was a relentless bully who made my life a living hell all through college and continued her reign of terror when she’d been hired at the ad agency I just happened to work at. As for _nearly costing me my job_ , that is up for debate. She harassed me every chance she had and then thought she could put her hands on me. I merely defended myself. The board agreed that Turner was the instigator and her employment with the agency was terminated. I only received a three day suspension.”

“It’s my understand that the board wanted to terminate you as well, but your supervisor – a Gina Reynolds – implied that you would sue the agency for allowing Miss Turner’s harassment to fester for so many years unchecked. Miss Turner apparently outed some very personal information about you...” Harvey continued to match stares and Murdoc was certain the man was hoping to get Hailey to slip up. “I imagine her outing that information was very traumatic for someone as private as you, Hailey.”

“Hardly traumatic,” Hailey said through a stiff laugh. “More like it really just pissed me off. But it all boils down to her literally poking me and even pushing me. She put her hands on me and I threw one punch that ended it right then and there.”

Harvey didn’t laugh, cocking an eyebrow as he went over some notes. “It was a throat punch.”

“As I said, I threw one punch that ended it right then and there,” Hailey repeated icily.

Burnes took this information in, going through his notes as he jotted a few things down. Murdoc wanted to ask him what he was writing down. Was he noting Hailey’s demeanor? If Murdoc could feel her tension, surely the Burnes bloke was feeling it. He kept looking up from his notes and smiling at them. That fucking plastic smile. So fake. This man was fake through and through. Only the illusion of professionalism. Men like him sunk to whatever levels necessary to get the information he needed. Or was that only in the movies? When Burnes looked back up, his gaze fell on the picture of Alec on the side table that flanked the sofa. “Your son....Alec, right?” he asked, flickering his gaze back at them. “He's disabled?”

Hailey’s smile vanished, her mouth thin. “Yes,” she said flatly.

“Now.....this happened when he was small, correct? Four or five years old?”

Her green eyes narrowed slightly, a forced smile curling onto her face. “Yes, brain injury when he was small. It led to motor control issues and seizures.” Her tone was flat, emotionless. “Not to sound rude, Harvey, but we generally do not discuss our children with people we do not know.”

“Well, there's a big difference between being interviewed for an entertainment rag and being interviewed as part of an investigation,” Harvey said, keeping his eyes locked with hers, almost as if he was challenging her.

Murdoc's voice broke the brief and uncomfortable silence. “Dun' matter what we're bein' interviewed for, mate. We dun' discuss the kids.....period. We want them t' have as close t' a normal childhood as possible.”

“So how did those injuries happen?” he asked, looking over at Murdoc with the same intense gaze and plastic smile. “Seems that the injuries became prevalent shortly after your return here. The story you gave implicated that it happened before you came back.”

Hailey shook her head, exhaling loudly and rubbing at her face. “He was in an accident, Harvey. And that is all you need to know. Now, we're discussing Alicia and her disappearing act, right? Let's stay on the topic at hand.”

“And your daughter?” he queried, staring at her with wide eyes.

“Normal and healthy, just as he would have been had it not been for the accident,” she whispered coolly, glaring at him. “We've told you all that we know. I'm afraid we can't be any more help to you.”

Harvey smiled at them as he put away his notes. ”Well, I guess my questions here are done,” he said, getting to his feet. “Thank you for taking the time to talk with me. It was a pleasure meeting you both.”

Both Hailey and Murdoc directed him to the front door, watching warily through the windows as he got into his rental and backed out of their driveway. Hailey chewed at her lip, still eyeballing the car as it spend down the road away from their house. “He knows something is up,” she said coldly.

“You think?” Murdoc grumbled, lighting a fresh cigarette with shaking hands. “Satan almighty, Hailey, that scared me half t' death. An' they found part of whats-her-face? What if they start snoopin' in on us more? We might not be suspects, but obviously people of interest, yeah?”

“Relax,” she muttered dismissively, waving her hand. “He's just a private dick. Nothing special. Jason hired him to look into Alicia's disappearance, nothing more. As far as they know, she lost the plot, remember? They think she just cracked and left.”

“For how long, Hailey?” he asked gruffly, sinking into the sofa. “Not like you hid your animosity when he brought up Alec. I could feel it a mile 'way!”

She shrugged, sitting down next to him. “I'm not going to concern myself with that man, Murdoc. He's nothing but a small bump in the road at this point. He has no power to do a damned thing right now. All he has is what information Jason gave him and a maybe some info from basic research that anyone with a brain can find.” She leaned back into the plush cushions, half smiling. “This won't be the last we hear from him. But I guarantee you that when he does start poking around again, he's going to try to do it on the sly without our knowledge.”

Murdoc frowned, peering over at her. She seemed undisturbed by this thought, staring back at him with the ghost of a smile on her face. He didn't want this man lurking around. What if he managed to corner one of the kids to talk to them? Well, Amy would be no help....but Alec? As far as they knew, he didn’t remember anything, but if the man presented himself as a police officer and really pushed the lad? For all they knew, Alec just said he didn’t remember to appease his parents. Maybe he did remember something and what if he let something slip? Christ, this was too nerve wracking. He didn't want all this past shit coming back and biting them in the arse! It was done, it was behind them now! “But....they found some of that red headed woman, Poppet,” he said in a low voice. “I thought you said it would be a cold day in hell before they found her?”

Hailey smiled, leaning forward and circling her arm around him. “Well....it's winter in Seattle,” she laughed. “So a cold day in hell it must be!” She let out a snorting laugh, resting her head against his shoulder. “They won't figure it out, Murdoc. I made sure of it then and I'll make sure of it now.”

“We can't do it like that 'gain,” he muttered, burying his face into her hair. “I dun' think I could handle goin' through all that 'gain, Hailey.” He didn't have it in him. Not like this. At least then it was different, for different reasons. Justifiable reasons, one could even say. But he could still remember the ache in his gut once he realized how deep they were. Never mind the odd arousal of watching her, his mind trying desperately to shut down and focus on his body as it reacted to seeing her in action, the voice of reason had been screaming at him, warning him. But he'd ignored it, locked it away, too caught up in focusing on the erection that throbbed in his jeans and the magnificent view of her naked body as she shed her soiled clothing right there in the basement, their beaten and bloodied captive grunting and sobbing mere feet from her. In spite of the internal warnings, he had felt it all justified then. But wasn't a killer. He didn't have that kind of cold control. Hailey? The wolf in sheep's clothing. Cold, calculating and without a single drop of fear or remorse. She'd done it once and she could do it again without batting an eye.

“Yes you can,” she whispered softly, snuggling deeper into his shoulder as he pressed his face deeper into her hair. “In order to protect this family, we do what is necessary, Murdoc. I thought you knew that?”

**************************

Their lives seemed like nothing more than an endless chain of mundane tasks and boredom. It had been almost a week since he'd talked with the Niccals and still Harvey had found nothing to link them directly to the missing woman or the one who'd been murdered. Turner's murder wasn't really a concern, but given the fact that both Turner and Hunter had vanished around the same time, it was a connection worth keeping in mind. The wife's demeanor still puzzled him and if his instincts were correct, she was the one he needed to focus on. The husband was a loudmouth and did seem to have a temper, but he was all hot air. If prone to violence at all, he'd have to be cornered first. Or fuck with his wife and kids. Hailey, on the other hand, was definitely a curiosity he wanted to examine closer. Both had police records for various petty crimes, but Hailey had sealed foster care records that probably held a plethora of information. He wasn’t stupid. The moment he started pressing about their son, her entire demeanor had changed and he could feel the hostility pouring from her even as she flashed that strangely fake and cold smile at him. The Niccals were the common denominator when it came to the Hunter and Turner but he also couldn’t dismiss the fact that Turner had a laundry list of people she’d screwed over through the years and Hunter could have simply been at the wrong place at the wrong time. Yet he couldn’t shake the feeling that the Niccals – Hailey in particular – were some how involved, though he couldn’t fathom how.

Speaking of the kids, he'd finally gotten the chance to see them in person from his position at the neighbor's house across the road. The boy was in rough shape. He had terrible coordination, walked with an uncoordinated shuffle that was aided by a cane, and it was also clear that his parents hovered over him constantly. The girl was young, maybe four years old at the most, and very independent. Hard not to smile at the sight of this little mite of a child demanding she be left alone while her mother struggled to brush out her thick hair or dress her appropriately for the cold weather. But other than the boy's injuries, they were perfectly normal kids and the coldness he picked up from the wife was completely non-existent when she was with the kids or the husband. Without meeting them, he'd have seen them no different than any other family.

From his rented room, Harvey watched the grey-stone cottage across the way. It was one of the smallest homes in the area, he noted. Even the property was small compared to the others. From his third floor room, he had an excellent view of the home and property. Perfect angle as well, almost kitty corner from where the house stood, giving him a bird's eye view of the surrounding yard, the treeline and the house. Able to watch them from afar, undetected. Too bad most of this spying had been hours and hours of boredom, only once proving to be entertaining when he'd happened to catch the husband and wife indulging with one another in the living room. Their sexual tastes hadn't changed, watching them wrestle around, the sight almost frightening to witness. It had taken several minutes to realize their struggling and lashing out at one another wasn't a fight or argument turned physical, but how they initiated sexual play. Harvey found the scene both disturbing and arousing, particularly when Niccals had grappled his wife by the throat and hair and slammed her down against the back of the sofa, before driving into her. The tingle in his jeans indicating that he had enjoyed the spectacle more than he wanted to admit. It shouldn't have surprised him, though. Walsh had mentioned their mutual liking for rough bedroom play. Harvey had made the mistake of assuming their ages and having small children in the house would have curbed it a bit. After what he'd witnessed a few nights ago, it was obvious this wasn't the case.

Further research there in the UK had yielded little else about the family. Their son had been born in France, their marriage five months later also in France, the documentation only available because it had been needed to establish both the wife and the son's UK citizenship. The one weird thing was that until they had popped up in Paris, there was a huge gap that he couldn't seem to fill. It seemed that they'd vanished themselves right after the last Gorillaz concert and then, it was almost a year later when they'd resurfaced. No property leases, no photos, no driving record. Some credit card transactions regarding shipments of food and toiletries from some online grocer of sorts, but that was it. No indication of where that stuff was being shipped to. It left him curious mostly, but he supposed that was all irrelevant. After reappearing, things progressed normally by the looks of things. They purchased the cottage, the husband managed to snag employment working with the local television and film industry, they eventually had their second child and juggled their lives around their son's ever-increasing doctor appointments and emergency room visits.

Harvey lit his cigarette, dropping the lighter onto the side table before warming his hands. It was a cold and wet winter here, much like Seattle. Dreary looking and icy cold. The Niccals little cottage home was dimly lit, the only thing indicating that they were actually home. Sometimes he'd catch sight of one or both adults outside on the back patio having a cigarette, but it was a rare occurrence. From his room on the third floor, he also observed something else of interest. Something he hadn't really caught during his initial visit in the home. There was a basement. The tiny little windows just barely visible through the thick patches of grass that obscured them from view. His mind ticked away at this, wondering what was down there. Could be just a regular cellar, used to store shit, but what if there was something down there that could prove to be useful in his investigation? Though he'd only been in the living room of the house, he was almost certain that they wouldn't dream of keeping anything questionable in the main house because of the kids. Whatever was going on behind the scenes with the parents, they wanted their kids in the dark as well. And that made sense since everything he'd read and even their own words had made it clear they wanted their children to have as normal of a life as possible.

The room rental was really only temporary, the neighbor thinking he was merely traveling and trying to save a few pounds. Rent the room for four or five days, but after that Harvey would have to find different lodgings. He was fine with this. It was a cold and uncomfortable room anyway. One of the hotels in the city would provide a more comfortable bed, a television and at least some personal amenities. He’d only opted to rent the room at the house so he could better watch the Niccals’ property to get an idea of their comings and goings. Though he’d written some notes here and there during the interview with Hailey and Murdoc, he’d kept a digital recorder in his pocket so he could listen to it later and take more notes. Amazing what you can pick up just from a tone of voice. Moving on to a hotel would be the better option at this point because he’d monitored them for days now and other than taking notice of the basement, had seen nothing else that could help his investigation. He would also be able to better document and log his observations and findings without worrying about the nosy old coot down below snooping through his belongings and notes he'd written. Most of it was short hand and probably looked like nonsense to the old man, but not a risk he was willing to take. He'd be packing up his sparse belongings and leaving later in the evening. Vacating under the cover of darkness so not to be noticed. He'd have to continue his poking from his rental at a distance. He had obtained a different rental since talking with Hailey and Murdoc to ensure they wouldn't catch on that he was situated just half a block away.

Pulling himself from his window, Harvey started the boring task of rounding up his belongings and throwing them towards his suitcase. Get things packed away and the room tidied up. He also needed to get in touch with Mister Walsh and see if there was anything he'd forgotten to mention to Harvey. Probably wondering where he'd taken off to, now that he thought about it. He said he'd look into them, do some research, but hadn't said a word to anyone about skipping across the Atlantic to pay the family a visit. He had wanted to make sure there was no chance someone would warn them of his arrival. He had wanted to make sure his presence unsettled them and also ensured any answers they gave to his questions would be less likely to be scripted.

Suitcase packed, he found his wallet and tucked it into the back pocket of his jeans. The rest of the room was decent enough for the moment. Grabbing his cigarettes and the suitcase, he ventured from the room and down the stairs, pausing at the foyer briefly to see if he could catch a glimpse of the old man. Still in his chair, where Harvey had last seen him, back to him and fixated on the television. Smirking, he opened the door silently and slipped outside into the bitter cold. The gravel crunched beneath his feet as he approached his rental, glancing up at the cottage across the road as he opened the boot and slung the suitcase inside, slamming it closed. His ears perked at the sounds of children and a familiar gruff voice barking at them to mind their bloody manners or they'd get left at home. Harvey looked over the car, spotting Murdoc, Hailey and the kids heading towards the detached garage around the back. From his position at the boot of the car, he watched the garage was opened and the kids were herded into the car, both adults climbing in shortly after. The engine came to life and after a few moments, the Audi was backing out and down the drive, pulling into the road before shifting and moving forwards, disappearing in the distance. Well, now this was an opportunity he didn't anticipate. He had hoped it would open up, but realized it wouldn't be all that realistic seeing that Niccals worked from a home studio and the wife was the happy little home maker. Rounding the car, Harvey looked behind him, noting that the old man was still glued in front of the television and nobody else was out and about. He didn't need someone seeing him nosing around over there and calling the local authorities. Breaking into a jog, he darted across the road and sprinted across the front lawn, wanting to make sure he was safely out of sight. Maybe check out the back property first a bit and see what it looked like.

Daylight was fading fast, the back of the house and property growing dimmer and dimmer. It was a decent sized yard with a massive tiled patio and what appeared to be a small swimming pool they were in the process of removing and filling in. The patio furnishings were all stacked neatly against the house itself. Harvey huddled within his jacket against the rain that kept slamming down into him, wandering towards where the yard descended into an incline and led into the trees. The thick of trees directly in front of him were dark looking, not something he'd want to explore while it was practically flooding outside and daylight vanishing. He didn’t want to risk losing his sense of direction and accidentally stumbling across them or their kids while trying to find his way out. Over on the right, just a small distance further away was a clearing. Some shrubbery obscured it from view, but it was a rather nice looking natural clearing with some rocks placed strategically around. Probably take the kids there for camp outs when the weather is better, he thought with a smirk. He turned his attention back to the house, peering through the French doors at the darkened interior of the house. Grabbing the knob, he turned it slightly, uttering a noise when it froze mid-turn, locked tight. Okay, so nice area or not, they weren't stupid when it came to the safety of their home and belongings. He kept himself close to the walls as he moved around the house, stopping occasionally to peer through a window to see if there was anything of interest to see. So far, just as he suspected, the main house itself was normal, boring even. A few toys were spotted here or there, indicating the presence of their youngest child, but otherwise it was almost immaculate inside. So the wife was a clean freak, not that uncommon.

The yard started to slope downwards, Harvey smiling when he saw the narrow windows of the basement just at his feet. He knelt into the sopping wet grass, moving the thatches of greenery aside. The windows were pitch black and he cursed his luck. Pushing himself to his feet, he wandered around to the far side of the home, cursing under his breath when he saw that the kitchen windows were out of his reach. A little further down and around the side of the house was the door leading to the basement. He grabbed the knob, attempting to turn it also and growling when he realized that it, too, was locked. But there was something interesting to be noted with the door. The way the wood bulged and pressed in the frame, it appeared as though the door was rarely used, if ever. They had no need for this door, did they? Whatever they kept in the basement, it sure as shit wasn't yard tools.

Moving back around to the patio, he checked some of the windows. They were sliding and one thing he'd learned through the years is that even houses locked up tighter than Fort Knox had their weak point. And it looked as if their windows were it. Grabbing a chair from the stack of patio furniture, he tugged it over and climbed onto it, peering through the window to see where-abouts this was in the house. Right at the living room area. He cracked a smile, tugging the screen away from its place and dropped it to the ground beside him. Taking a breath, he pressed his hands against the pane of glass and pushed it upwards. All he needed was to overshoot the small latch, make the part that slid open jump the latch and it would slide right open. It took a few attempts, his progress mostly impeded by the rain that still pelted against him and the glass, but by the fourth attempt, the window slid over.

The house inside was warm and comforting. He stepped carefully, making a mental note to himself that he needed to clean up before he exited. Removing his shoes, he set them by his way of entry and started to explore the first floor. The window had deposited him at the far end of the house that opened up to the sitting room with two doors on a far wall, one being a bathroom and the other being Niccals’ studio. Kitchen directly in front of him and to his left, the flight of stairs leading to the upper level of the house. He crept up the stairs, his ears on high alert for any sounds from outside that warned him of their return. The second floor revealed nothing but the kids' bedrooms, another washroom and the master bedroom itself. So far, everything about the home screamed normal and mundane. The photos were rather interesting, particularly some of the ones where clearly the husband and wife were much younger. In a studio that overlooked a massive expanse of water. Beach house of sorts, perhaps? He shoved it from his mind, making his way back down the stairs.

Once back on the main level, he stood in the middle of the sitting room looking around, finally spotting a plain wood door that was stained the same color as the wood paneling that led upstairs. Rushing over to it, he grabbing the knob with trembling hands. The door resisted his efforts and Harvey found himself loudly cursing at it, tugging and rattling. The doorknob turned freely, but the door itself wasn't budging. Frowning, he drew back a step, looking the door over to see if there was something he was overlooking. At the top of the door, out of the reach of the kids, was a padlock hooked into a latch. The padlock was unlocked, merely hooked over to secure the door. Now this was very interesting. He was willing to bet the farm that the door was secured in this fashion to keep the kids out. What other reason could there be? With a chuckle, he reached up and unhooked the padlock, pulling the latch away and re-hooking it into the eyelet on the door.

Descending the stairs, he flicked on the light-switch, the room below now filled with a dull and murky light. It was clean and quite tidy. Something warned him as he crept down lower and lower, the room finally coming into view. The table at the center of the room was the first thing to catch his attention, his eyes traveling to the four corners with their restraints. The rest of the room was littered with various items that looked more at home in some S&M video. Ball gag in the corner, handcuffs on the counter, various styles of whips and riding crops hung on the wall, large utility hooks installed on the far wall, a set of fabric velcro restraints hanging from one. Another table on the other side of the room held a small variety of toys. Large sex swing suspended in a corner. Well, well, well, they were certainly a kinky pair. It wasn't what he was hoping to find, but it did explain why they kept the room secured like they did. The last thing they probably wanted to deal with was one of the kids stumbling across this stuff. They'd probably think it was a torture chamber!

In spite of all of this, it still didn't lead him any closer to figuring out what had become of Alicia. If the Niccals had anything to do with her disappearance or knew anything, there was nothing here to indicate. Just a typical family with the parents having some odd behind-closed-door quirks. And it didn't surprise him at all considering what he'd witnessed that one evening just days ago. He uttered a sigh, turning to mount the stairs, something catching is attention at the top. He looked up, every muscle freezing, a chill spreading through him when he realized he was staring at the little girl looking down at him from the doorway. She merely stood there, staring at him with quizzical dark eyes. Another noise from somewhere behind her alerted him that she wasn't the only one in the house. A woman's voice. “Amy, get away from that door!”

Harvey stumbled back, groaning when he realized he'd been caught. The girl was gone, her soft voice rattling away excitedly about the man in the basement. Footsteps, the woman ordering both kids to go upstairs and go upstairs now. He was panicking now, almost frozen in place, his mind sorting through any possible excuse he could think of. There was no way he'd be able to talk his way out of this. Being caught nosing around a yard was easy enough to bullshit his way out of, but he was in their home.

“Figured you'd be back,” came a gruff voice from behind him. Moaning, Harvey turned, seeing Murdoc standing there just mere feet from him, the door he thought unused now ajar. Niccals wasn't a tall man, the top of his head barely reaching Harvey's eye level, but the malice could be seen clear as day. Harvey's mouth flapped open, no sound coming out, his eyes locked on the narrowing dark eyes of the man in front of him. With a sneer, Murdoc drew back his arm, sending his fist smashing into Harvey's face and knocking the man down to the ground. Harvey's world was pain, stars and darkness before the oblivion took over.

*************************

Murdoc glared down at the fallen man, shaking his head in disgust. He hadn't anticipated the intruder being that Burnes bloke, not by a long shot. How do you invade a man's home like that just to be fucking nosy? And for fuck's sake, it had scared the kids half to death when they spotted the open window and shoes laying next to it. As soon as he had walked in, he had sensed there was another presence in the house. And once he saw the window, the shoes and the open basement door, he knew. Making Hailey and the kids stay at the foyer while he rounded the house to the outer door, opening it silently and seeing the intruder looking around, his back to Murdoc. Just as Hailey had said, the man would continue to poke around and try to do it when they were unaware. He hated feeling this violated. This was his home. His sanctuary. He was at a stage in life now where he shouldn’t have to worry about people invading his private spaces. Snarling, he gave the man a hard kick in his side as he passed him, grabbing the fabric and velcro restraints from the utility hook. Kneeling down, he rolled the semi-conscious man onto his stomach, pulling his arms behind his back and securing them with the restraints. “Poppet!” he barked, lighting a cigarette. “Come down here!”

Hailey emerged at the top of the stairs, her eyes locked on the fallen man as she stepped down slowly. “You got him?” she asked, pausing at the man's shoulder and kneeling down to examine their intruder. “Well.....lookit who we have here.”

“Call the constable,” Murdoc huffed, sitting on the edge of the table. “Get this fucker outa our house.”

Hailey peered up at him through her hair, flashing a smile. “Now why do we wanna go and do that? It will take away the fun!” She pushed herself upright, scooting onto the table beside him. “Nobody knows he's here, Murdoc.”

“No.” Murdoc shook his head, brow furrowed. How could she even suggest such a thing when this man had been literally interviewing people who knew them? This wasn’t just some rando who’d broken into their home, this was someone paid to do a job. A job that had him investigating them and this meant removing him from the equation was the last thing they should do. “I told you not 'gain. Ever'one he's spoken t' knows he's been lookin' in t' us over here, Hailey. I'm not doin' it 'gain. It's too bleedin' risky an' you know it.”

“Might be, might not be,” she said cheerily, grinning at the unconscious man. “I did my own snooping. It appears we got lucky because nobody knew he was coming here. Apparently he wanted to avoid someone tipping us off.”

“How can you be so sure?” he asked, staring at her. “He's been here at least a week now. Surely someone has noticed him missin' out of Seattle. That Jason bloke might even be wondering why he hasn't bothered t' report back t' him.”

“If you're worried, we can have our fun and then dump him off in an alley somewhere,” she grumbled. “Let the constable think it was a mugging gone wrong or something.”

Murdoc gritted his teeth, the conflict in his head raging to almost deafening levels. It's not like Burnes had found anything substantial in his spying, so why so quick to dispatch him? Was it truly so hard to call the authorities and have him tossed into a cell for breaking and entering? He glanced over at Hailey, who was looking back at him, smiling. “I can't do this, Hailey,” he murmured. “I'm sorry. It was different then.”

Her brow knitted together a moment, the smile fading. “It's not that different,” she muttered, her hand on his face. “He wouldn't have stopped until he found something. And he broke into our home and scared Alec and Amy. What if they'd been home alone when he got in? Men like him are shady and care nothing for the lives they hurt doing their dirty work.” She slid from the table and dropped down besides Burnes, rummaging through his pockets and pulling out the man’s wallet and some folded up paper. She went through the wallet first, setting credit cards, pictures and other random items onto the table. Murdoc stared down at the pictures, seeing an aged snap of a blond woman with Farrah Faucet hair and a pig-tailed tot on her knee. Must have been the man’s wife and kid. Hailey’s focus soon turned to the folded up paper, unfolding it carefully and revealing itself to be nothing more than a few scraps of notebook paper, the intruder's scrawl barely readable. A few names and some scribbled notes. She scanned it over carefully before handing him the paper. Murdoc peered down at the paper, a low noise escaping from him when he read the last line down at the bottom of the page: _Niccals claimed to doctor that boy was hurt by babysitter stateside. No record of any assault on the child or charges being pursued. Child identified a woman with white hair. Alicia?_ She was right. He was digging and wouldn't stop until he found the information he wanted. The story they'd given Alec's doctor was pure rubbish, knowing she wouldn't have been able to look into it to validate the story. They'd even told the doctor that they were pursuing charges and the authorities back in Seattle were handling it. Their lies and half truths worked well for the time being, but they both knew if anyone really looked into it, somewhere in the middle, the truth would be discovered. He was good at ignoring this fear, even if it occasionally haunted his thoughts once he was in bed. And here it was, six years later and he'd finally started to grow confident that they were without a doubt safe. He let out a groan, dropping his head into his hands a moment, taking a breath.

Her hand was now in his hair, fingers grazing against his scalp. She was close, the soft warmth of her body pressing against him. “Tie him to the table,” she whispered in his ear. “We'll deal with him tonight.”

He felt a tremor ripple through his spine at her words. His hands remained at his face, the darkness comforting. He couldn't bring himself to move from his place at the table. If he pulled his hands away, he knew he looked confused and frightened. And this was not something he cared for. He wasn't this weak! He didn't have to do anything she said, and she knew this. But her words were like a silent command he couldn't resist. The familiar and unwanted pain in his gut was back, reminding him of what awaited them tonight. Other thoughts invaded his mind, sparked even further by the feel of her hand sliding along his thighs. She was pressing herself closer, now in front of him, pulling his hands away. Staring up at her passive face, he blinked, dropping his gaze to the fallen man briefly before looking back up at her, his terrified expression melting. He brought his hands up to her face, pulling her towards him, mouth against hers. He could do this. It wasn't that hard. And the mere imagery of her doing the dirty work on this creep brought new and pleasant feelings below his belt. Maybe they could make it a bit more interesting. Fuck her good and hard right there on the table with that fucker strapped down and watching. Hmmm, something to suggest once they were down here later. She might even have some ideas of her own.

“What do we tell the kids?” she asked suddenly, breaking through his jumbled thoughts.

“Tell them he got 'way,” he said in a matter of fact tone.

Flash of a smile, nodding in agreement. “I knew you'd come around,” she whispered.

“You pull the right strings,” he murmured back.


	6. Puppet Master: Edge of Sanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: S&M SEX, VIOLENCE, TORTURE

The darkness was welcoming, dulling his thoughts and slowly easing the ache that had formed in the depths of his belly. Murdoc closed his eyes, exhaling smoke slowly through his nose. Opening his eyes again, he peered down at the red cherry tip of his cigarette, his thoughts drifting to other things. The kids upstairs sleeping, blissfully unaware and ignorant of what was going on in the bowels of their very home. There was the dishwasher acting up as well, right? Yeah, it was in need of repair. He'd been putting off calling the repair bloke now for a good week or more. There was that one step on the stairs that creaked loudly also. Shit, there was a lot that needed to be done, wasn't there? He would be more than happy to start it all tonight, if it didn't mean rousing the whole house. Hell, he'd be willing to go out and power wash the stone facade of the house at this point.

His gaze fell to the dark and dormant mixing equipment that was nothing more than a large black mass before him. He could tonk around with that, couldn't he? The narrow studio was soundproof and it would help take his mind off the going-on's down stairs in the basement. Off the thing that was unleashed below. He needed a distraction or he'd go mad if he thought too much about it. Of course, he could go downstairs to the basement and watch. As long as he focused on her and her alone, he may actually be able to enjoy it. Take in the sight of her body, prone and ready to strike out. The rest of the scene ignored and irrelevant.

His mind took him back to another time, when his emotions had been riding high in the wake of the events that would change their lives forever. How easy it had been to ignore the voice of reason as he watched her dispatch the woman. Unconscious of the true impact their actions would have. It was so easy then, wasn't it? To sit there and watch as she slowly and mercilessly tortured the woman who'd harmed their son, feeling his arousal build. It had all been so terrifyingly beautiful to watch. His own logic justified it all then. The woman had damaged Alec permanently and she'd tried to kill him to cover her tracks. Eye for an eye and all that rot, yeah? Feeling his body react as Hailey unleashed her fury was merely a perk. Acknowledging that the image of her in action made him hard as a rock and ready to attack her like a rabid animal.

A noise from downstairs caught his attention, his ears perked. Rising slowly, he slipped out of the narrow little mixing studio and slowly approached the basement door just a few feet away. His hand lingered on the knob for a moment, his head filled with memories and images that left him questioning himself, his family, Hailey. Was it all just a lie? A charade? Putting on the image of regular family, trying desperately to have that normal that everyone else took for granted? Everything about them proved to the nay-sayers that they could never achieve that normal. Sure, they could put up the front for a few years, even pulling the wool over the eyes of their own children, but there would come those times when their actions proved without a shadow of a doubt just how _far_ from normal they were.

Murdoc gritted his teeth, the groan barely audible in the dark sitting room. The whole house was dark now, both kids upstairs and asleep. The entire day had been like walking on hot coals. Maintaining his poker face as he went about his day, knowing what awaited them once Alec and Amy were tucked away, asleep and oblivious. What other choice did he have? Amy had been wedged up his arse the rest of the day, not that he blamed the tot one bit. They'd been witness to an intruder violating their home. Her child's sense of security relied on the familiar walls and furnishings, relied on the belief that Mum and Dad could keep out the bad stuff. If Mum and Dad couldn't keep the bad people out, what was left? Alec was a bit more reasonable, understanding that not all home invaders would physically harm a home's inhabitants, only more concerned with looting the valuables and vacating. But reasonable or not, it was clear that the home invasion had shaken the lad. Both Murdoc and Hailey had fed the kids a line about how the intruder had escaped in an effort to ease whatever anxiety they might have had from the intrusion. And being trusting little buggers, they had believed them. Mum and Dad wouldn't lie about this, right? Little did they know, while Hailey had kept them occupied up in the kitchen, Murdoc had restrained the man on the table in the basement. Let them think the bad man was gone, scared away by their arrival. They'd lose their little under-developed minds if they knew the truth.

Sighing heavily, he twisted the knob and pulled the door open. Down the stairs into the brightly lit room they'd furnished carefully. The table, the toys, the restraints, the whips and crops. He descended the stairs slowly, the room coming into view. His voice died on his lips, his eyes taking in the sight of her standing there. She didn't acknowledge his presence, her attention solely on the man who was face down on the table, his hands and ankles bound down at the four corners. Standing there, grinning at their captive, dressed in that leather and lace corset outfit that normally hung in the corner of the basement playroom. Complete with the high stockings and heeled shoes. Murdoc's brow furrowed as he scanned her over, warm and pleasant feelings spreading below his belt. He willed himself down, shaking his head, eyes on her as she moved closer to their captive. If not for what was going on, he'd be taking her right there on the table. The swell of her breasts, the curve of her back in the confines of the corset, the ruffled panties that barely concealed the curves of her buttocks. Christ, he needed to keep his mind on the next level mind fuck that was taking place here, not on her! Never mind the little wrinkle of fabric between her legs or that glazed and familiar look in her eyes. She was getting her rocks off with torturing this man and here Murdoc was, just standing there, getting more and more hard with each passing moment, his jeans already tight and uncomfortable, the voice of reason trying desperately to make him focus on the fact that there was _so much_ wrong with this scene.

Poor Harvey Burnes was whimpering and sputtering softly, his face hidden from view. Stripped down naked and secured face down on that chrome table they had agreed to dispose of eventually. Murdoc felt a brief moment of pity for the man. Satan knows what thoughts were racing through that poor man's head. If he had any doubts about their involvement with Alicia's disappearance, they were gone now. Numero uno suspects right here, peeps. Take a number and line up, but you might want to set up a last will and testament or whatever those things were called because the wifey here has a nasty little habit of making sure anyone she perceives as a threat disappears off the face of the planet. I just sit around and pull myself off while I watch and help with the clean up later.

Hailey drew back from their captive, still seemingly unaware of Murdoc's presence. Clutched in her hand was an old leather belt he no longer wore, the leather around the buckle becoming brittle and starting to crack. It had been sent to the basement instead of the rubbish can because he thought they could use it. Of course, _this_ was not exactly what he had in mind when he suggested they keep it as part of their accessories. She brought her hand back, the belt flopping against her shoulders before she brought her arm down with a grunt, the leather cutting through the air and landing with a loud crack across Burnes' back, the man letting out a strangled cry, his whole body flinching and going rigid. Murdoc turned his attention to the poor unfortunately soul who'd been dense enough to keep snooping, dully noting the reddened, raised welts across his bared back and rump. “You said nothin' 'bout strippin' him an' torturin' him starkers,” Murdoc said, now staring at Hailey.

Hailey cast him a quick glance, shrugging her shoulders. His sudden presence didn’t even seem to shake her. “Better effect this way, I think.” She cracked a malicious grin and sent the belt cutting through the air and across the man’s rump, the _crack_ echoing in the room. “Besides, he likes it.” She dropped the leather against the man's back gently, dragging it across slowly, watching as his skin erupted into goosebumps. “He's a total closet freak, Murdoc. Got so hard, his cock and balls were practically purple.” She leaned in close to Burnes, her mouth mere inches from his ear. “You love this, Harvey, just admit it. Your cock doesn't lie.”

Burnes flinched at the sound of her voice so close, a low whimper erupting from him. “I was just doing my job,” he whispered, his voice cracking as another sob threatened. “Doing my job.....” Poor Harvey Burnes. Paid to merely investigate a missing person and had somehow stumbled into hell. The man probably thought he was in hell. “Please, let me go. I promise I won’t say anything...”

“Look where _doing your job_ got you, Harvey,” Hailey said icily, drawing back from the man. “You knew we were the common denominator and now look where you are. You got too close. Too fucking close.” She rested her hand onto his shoulder, running her palm down to the small of his back. “It's a shame you couldn't leave well enough alone, Harvey. You could have simply packed up and gone back home, right? You could have told Jason that you found nothing. But no, you had to dig. You had to find out.” She cracked another smile when Burnes twisted his head around, staring at her with wide and tear filled hazel eyes. “You knew something was off when you talked to us,” she said, laughing softly. “The moment you brought up our son, you knew something wasn’t right.” She clutched at the belt, bringing her arm back for another blow. “But you didn’t get enough information to really link anything together, just a gut feeling. So you took it upon yourself to _break into our home_. To _scare our children_.” She flung the belt forward, cracking it against his back as hard as she could, the sound echoing through the basement. Murdoc remained frozen in place as he watched, seeing the man’s skin erupt red and white when she pulled the belt away. Snarling, she brought the belt down for another blow. “You’re a threat to our family, Harvey. And I don’t do well with threats to our family.”

Burnes craned his neck, his eyes now on Murdoc, silently pleading. Tearing his eyes away, Murdoc turned his attention to Hailey. “Just finish him, Hailey. Get it over with.” From the table, Burnes let out another choked sob, Hailey's smile now collapsing as she let the hand holding the leather drop to her side. Murdoc inched closer, shaking his head. “I dun' have the stomach for this an'more, Poppet. Just get it out of the way. Make it quick. We'll worry 'bout what t' do with the body later. I get that you see him as a threat, love, but there's a huge difference between hurtin' the people who hurt our boy an' hurtin' a person simply because you like it.”

Hailey's brow furrowed, her eyes downcast as she stared at the leather strap in her hand. “You'd actually just stand by while he continued to dig deeper and deeper? Stand by while he gets others involved? Stand by and watch as they took our home, our kids....everything we worked so hard to get?” Slowly, she looked up, her eyes hard and cold as they settled onto Murdoc. “You've grown weak,” she hissed icily. “Coddled and catered to for far too long, I think. They need to know that nobody fucks with our family, Murdoc. And anyone who tries will find out really quick how far I'm willing to go to protect it.”

“I'm not weak,” he snapped, glowering at her. “I'm bein' bloody reasonable here. It's gone too fuckin' far, Hailey. Burnes may be a liability, but torturin' him an' killin' him accomplishes what exactly? We coulda easily just knocked him out, gone through his thins' t' get rid of any evidence he had 'gainst us, rough him up a bit an' then call the bloody constable! That's what I wanted, at least. Easiest way t' rid ourselves of the issue, yeah?” He watched as she moved away from the table, going over to the work bench at the other side of the room, looking for something. He heard a noise from her as she reached out and grabbed from the work bench, turning around towards him and the captive man strapped onto the table. She sauntered back towards the table, something clutched in her hand. “What is that, Hailey?” Murdoc demanded, gesturing towards her hand.

“Don't worry your little head about it, Murdoc,” she said curtly, looking down at Burnes. “Why don't you just go upstairs, watch that unscrambled porn channel, wank off and go to bed?” The sharpness of her tone surprised him. Was she really upset that he wanted no part of this? He stared at her with wide and surprised eyes, feeling his own irritation rise now. He didn't want to pretend he understood or agreed with her logic behind this. It was wrong then and it sure as fuck was wrong now. What happened six years ago was driven by emotion and a lot of buried issues on both their ends, but it still didn't really justify it. This was a different ball park all together and maybe it was because he was getting older, but he'd sooner see the proper authorities deal with this scum than watch his woman get her knickers wet as she tormented the poor fool. She peered up at him, her eyes hard and dark. “Why are you still here, Murdoc?”

“Because I dun' feel like goin' upstairs,” he whispered.

She shook her head. “No, I mean why are you still here with me if you think I’m wrong in this? You didn’t think it was so wrong when I was taking care of that Amazon bitch while you wanked off. How is this any different?”

“Where the bloody hell is this comin' from?” He shoved a hand through his hair, shaking his head. “I just think you're takin' shit too far, Hailey! How hard is that t’ comprehend? This man was simply paid t’ do a job an’ we could have easily fooled him ‘nough t’ send him on his way empty handed!”

“You saw the paper,” she muttered, now staring at the small blade in her hand, adjusting the length carefully. “He found enough proof to show something had happened that we were not a hundred percent truthful about. There was nothing to stop him from going to the police with what he found. He was a threat. So, let me ask again: why are you still here with me? You think I'm wrong? Unstable? Ten years and now you bitch?”

“Did you forget a key fact here, Hailey?” he asked, his eyes on the small knife. “It started out as nothin' more than a business arrangement. An' when I agreed t' stick it out, I didn't agree t' the fine print that said I had t' sit idly by an' watch as you sliced an' diced those who opposed you. I have my limits, Poppet, an' I've reached them. Now put the fuckin' knife down. Dun' torment this stupid sod an'more than you've a'ready done. Just get the gun, get it over with an’ we'll deal with the body later.”

Hailey looked down at the captive and nude Burnes before looking at the small blade in her hand. She seemed to be absorbing what he'd said, thinking over it all carefully. It was difficult for him to really tell if it was clicking or not. Her eyes kept moving from the knife to Burnes and then from Burnes to the knife, chewing her lower lip. A sigh erupted from her as she turned her focus back to Murdoc, who was mere feet away now, his eyes locked on the blade in her hand. “You enjoyed it the last time, Murdoc. Why not this time?”

“Different reasons then,” he said in a matter of fact tone. “Chloe an' Alicia deserved it. This sorry bastard was just doin' his job. He's not a legitimate threat, Hailey, an' you know this.” He reached his hand out, palm up. “Gimme the knife.”

Something in her expression flickered as she stared at the hand before her. Huffing loudly, she clutched the blade tighter, her attention now on the bared freckled back of Burnes, her arm out, the blade nothing but a brief flicker in the harsh lighting. Murdoc stood there, transfixed as the blade pierced through the man's skin, his whimpers now rising to screams. Blood seeped from the small wound, pooling into the narrow ravine of his spine. Hailey made a noise, what almost sounded like an odd laugh, the sound of her voice bringing Murdoc back to the present and the reality of what was happening. Snarling, he reached out, clutching the arm that held the blade. She was staring at him, almost sneering as she strained to pull her arm free. “Let go of me,” she hissed.

“I said t' give me the fuckin' knife,” Murdoc growled, matching glares.

“And what if I say _fuck off_?” she snarled, the muscles in her arm hard in his grip. “Make me hand it over then. Or are you gonna pussy out on that, too?” He felt her jerk her arm as hard as she could, the momentum catching him off guard, now almost stumbling into her. It was as if something had sparked within and she was now squirming to get her arm free, twisting so that she had her back braced to him. He kept his grip as tight as he could, dully aware of the bones, muscles and tendons that were protesting, the throb of her pulse pounding against his fingers.

He brought his other arm around, pulling her back against, embracing her tight as he fumbled with his hands to get to the blade. Her feet came out from under her and the sudden dead weight sent them both almost crashing down to the floor, his knees smashing hard into the linoleum, stopping them both short of falling face first into the floor and potentially accidentally stabbing herself. She thrashed against him, trying to keep the blade just out of his reach. No words came out of her, just snarls and growls as she continued to squirm and fight her way out of his arms. Murdoc pulled her against him as tight as he could, pinning her arms back with one arm, the other now reaching around to snatch at the blade. There was a sharp sting, coldness and then blossoming pain. He jerked his hand back, staring at the fleshy part of his palm, at the red line that had formed where the blade had cut. She cut him? He peered up at her through tangled black and silver hair, watching as she backed away along the floor, staring back at him with the ghost of a smile. “I thought you were gonna take this from me?” she breathed, holding up the blade.

Ignoring the burning pain in his hand, he crawled towards her, grabbing her ankle and tugging her towards him. He was on his feet, the adrenaline rushing now as he caught her around the waist and hauled her to her feet. She twisted around in his arms, moving like a leather clad eel, her breath coming out in heavy labored huffs. He reached high, stretching his arm towards the hand that held the blade. His thoughts were racing, unsure of what he planned to do when he got the knife from her. She was braced against him, her face mere inches from his, her breath blasting hot against his face. He reached again, clutching at her wrist, the two of them stumbling back into the work bench. He was pressed too close, his body betraying him as she squirmed against him, still struggling to keep the blade out of his grasp. He could feel the cold smooth plastic of the handle just at his fingertips. Almost there. Another inch....

Pain erupted at his chest, his attention tearing from the small blade in her hand and down, seeing her head pressed hard against his chest and collar-bone. He pulled away, staring at the blood that was spreading on his shirt. The room and their captive were no longer a concern, his focus now on the woman who was staring at him with wild eyes, blood smeared across her mouth. With a snarl, he lashed out, snatching her by the throat, slamming her back against the surface of the work bench. Reaching the length of her body, he pulled the blade from her hands. He was hurting, every movement she made against him sending tremors through his groin and up his spine. “Fuckin' bitch,” he panted, tearing the panties away. “You wanna play rough, you lil' slag?” He started tugging at his belt, unbuckling it with fumbling and shaking hands, moving on to his jeans. He almost groaned aloud when he was finally free of his confines, unconscious of her hands as they lashed out, striking his face. Gritting his teeth, he pulled her hips towards him, snarling in victory when he drove himself into her as hard as he could.

The basement and their captive no longer mattered, just the dull comfort of the white noise in his head and the snug warmth of her body as he slammed against her. She was thrashing against the counter surface, hissing and spitting. With a grunt, she brought her hand around, striking him across the face with enough force to whip his head to the side, his teeth snapping together. Shaking his head, he let out a snarl, driving into her harder, enjoying the sounds coming from her. He was in control. He was the master here. Teach this sorry little bitch to defy him. Let her know who she answered to every fucking night. Every fiber wanted to dominate, to humiliate. To fuck her so hard, it hurt. Another blow caught him broadside, the pain erupting at his temple and cheekbone. She was pushing herself upright, her eyes nothing but slits. Her hands pressed against his chest, pushing against him, one hand pressing hard against the bite wound, more pain firing in his brain. His hand moved, gripping at her chin and face, pulling her as close as he dared. “Remember who owns you,” he snarled, shoving her back against the counters. He stepped back, rolling her onto her stomach. Shoving himself back into her, he reached out, tangling his fingers into her hair, using it for leverage, pulling her back into him. Her skin was like fire against him, her cheeks flaring a brilliant pink, her cries rising. Blood roared in his ears, heat building. His eyes burned, vision blurring as he slammed hard, his groans growing louder.

His knuckles were white in the mass of dark hair, clutching so hard his fingers ached. Through the white noise in his head, he barely heard her cries, unaware that they were now cries of pain as he tugged and pulled at her hair, finally pulling her upright and wrapping his arm around her body, pulling her across the room, her feet dragging against the hard concrete floor, one shoe missing. With a grunt, he hauled her onto the edge of the table, back inside her, their faces mere inches apart. Hailey peered through the tangle of hair across her face, the smile just there. “You think you own me?” she hissed, snaking her hands around his body. “You think you're the master of this house? Who did everything he was told like a good little lap dog, eh?” Murdoc sneered, feeling the heat building in his face, his vision still blurred. In spite of the good feelings, he could feel the building rage at her words, her taunts. The image of her flushed and smirking face was too much. He wanted to grab that face, twist it, bruise it. “Are you weak, Niccals?” she breathed into his ear.

“No,” he groaned, blinking back the sweat that danced on his eyelids. Her clutched at her legs, pounding against her as hard as he could, feeling it building and building, release only moments away. “Not weak...” His brain was buzzing, the room nothing but shadows and light, the only thing visible being her smirking face. He wasn't weak. He answered to no one. She answered to him. She was his and his alone. He could do whatever the fuck he wanted with her and there wasn't a fucking thing she could do about it. Her face was so close to him, her mouth brushing against his cheek. His mouth was on hers, his groans barely heard above the slap of flesh.

She eased herself back, stretching her body across the table, breast swelling above the corset. He fumbled for the blade, cutting at the strings, pulling the corset open. She lay exposed now, her breast rocking and bobbing with his thrusts. Her hand was around his, guiding the blade carefully along her ribs, circling her breasts. Murdoc paused, staring at the faint line the tip of the blade made on her skin, watching the fine hairs stand on end. This was different, almost mesmerized at the little blade as it dragged along her skin. The grip she had on his hand tightened, the blade pressing hard into her skin now. Something clicked in his brain when he realized the blade had cut through, a shuddering groan erupting from her. He jerked his hand away with a start, staring at the small bead of blood that had formed. “C'mon, prove you're a man,” she growled. “Prove to me you're not weak.”

Murdoc shook his head, reaching out and snatching the blade away. His other hand wrapped around her neck, pulling her up towards him, his eyes narrowing at the weird smile on her face. Burying the blade off to the side, he turned his focus on that smirking face, at the face he wanted so badly to hurt. Mocking him, humiliating him. Nobody made a fool of him, not her and not anyone. He'd spent half his life being the butt of everyone's jokes. His father, his brother, the useless sods at school. Hell, even those wastes of spaces he'd once called his mates. He'd show her. Prove to her that he was not weak.

The blow caught him off guard, the burning sting on his cheek the only thing that indicated she'd lashed out. It had been so quick and so sudden, he found himself stopping completely and staring down at her in surprise. Still smiling at him with that fucking stupid little smug grin. Her hand came out again, the movement just in the corner of his vision. He brought his hand out, grabbing her arm and jerking it over her head, pinning it down. Her other hand whipped up like lightening, striking him hard. Bringing both his hands to her legs, he gripped down hard, pulling her back towards him as he resumed ramming himself home. His brain felt like it was burning now, every part of him felt like fire. Her body was flushed, inflamed it seemed, searing hot beneath his hands, around him. Driving into her with such force, his grip on her thighs the only thing keeping her from falling off the other side. Another blow stung across his cheek, another. Growling, he brought his hand around, the sting against him palm telling him he'd hit home, her cheek flaring red. The smile was still there, still taunting him. He brought his hand back and lashed out, back handing her as hard as he could. “Stop smiling!” he growled, feeling the familiar sensations building in his groin and through his spine and stomach. The smile was still plastered on her face, mocking him still. Quickening his pace, he lashed out, striking her across the face again and again, the smile blurring in his vision, the heat in his head too much. Blood on her mouth and nose. Blood that he wasn't sure came from the bite wound that now burned on his chest or his hand or from her. It didn't matter, the smile was gone. Her eyes were dim and glassy, her body going through the familiar sensations as she started to reach her own peak. Unconscious of the blood that stained his knuckles and palm, he drove himself home, everything fading off into the familiar momentary oblivion, his voice echoing in the room.

He wasn't sure how long it took for him to get his bearings. He had dropped down against her, his chest heaving. Her hands were in his hair, smoothing it back, her touch amazingly gentle. Moving slowly, he peered over at her face, dully noting the reddened cheeks and blood that had started to dry on her nose. Her lip seemed swollen, some blood there as well. What the hell had just happened here? He had truly legitimately hurt her. She didn't seem conscious of it, merely staring at him through half lidded eyes as she held him close. The rest of the room was now coming into view, the basement, the accessories, the fact that they were now laying across their captive, who had grown still and silent. Murdoc craned his neck, dully noting the blade sticking out of the man's neck, the blood gathering around, onto him and onto her. He'd done that, hadn't he? He'd forgotten the man was there, forgotten what had started this. “Why?” he groaned.

Hailey shifted beneath him, her mouth right at his ear. “ _To prove you're no different than me_.” A shuddering sigh escaped from him. She was right, wasn't she? He was no different. Look what had just taken place. It was all her, antagonizing him and taunting him, driving him to overpower and dominate. Driving him to hurt. And in the end, he'd done just what he'd tried to stop her from doing. Burnes was dead, bled out as they fucked right over him. His head hurt suddenly, the thoughts and emotions too confusing. The burning in his eyes only vaguely recognized as tears. Pushing himself upright, he slowly worked on buttoning his jeans and buckling his belt, which had merely lay open and hanging off his hips through the entire ordeal. He and her were the same, no matter how much he denied it. His lust fueled by her struggles, the domination and his ability to overpower her.

As his head cleared and he took in the sight of the blood that had pooled on the table, the blood that stained their skin and clothing, he became aware of another presence. Hailey seemed to sense it too, now sitting up and pulling the corset around her body, hugging it to her. The far side of the basement room was nothing but the closed and secured door that led to outside and the random items they had hanging on the walls or sitting on tables. Staring at each other a moment, they both turned their heads slowly towards the stairs, voices dying at their lips. The door at the top of the stairs was ajar and halfway down the stairs, her dark eyes wide as she took in the sight before her, stood Amy.


	7. Sex Ed

No. He couldn't do it. Wouldn't do it. Why the hell did he have to do it? Murdoc let out a small incoherent grumble, pausing halfway up the stairs, casting a forlorn look at Hailey, who merely gestured up the stairs. His face folded into a scowl as he continued up the stairs. He couldn't understand why he got stuck with this discomfort. C'mon now, the boy was eighteen. Surely he knew about this kind of stuff. School usually went over this rubbish, yeah? Christ, it wasn’t like he had to actually give _the talk_ to the lad, just make sure he covered his bases. He paused half way up the stairs, lingering on the first landing. How was he taught? It wasn’t his father, he knew that. They didn’t teach this shit in school when he was a boy. Hadn’t Han been the one to more or less explain and go over what he needed to avoid trouble? Han never practiced what he preached, though, because Murdoc could remember quite a few strung out birds showing up outside their flat with paternity claims against the fucking ogre. Claims that always triggered bloody fights between Hannibal and their father. Murdoc hadn’t paid attention to those lessons and had gone through quite a few scares through his youth, not even including numerous visits to the free clinic for various creams and antibiotics.

What the hell was he supposed to talk to Alec about anyway? The lad was an adult now, after all. He knew all about the birds and the bees and what he needed to avoid any unwelcome surprises. So what should Murdoc do? Give the boy a pep talk and pointers? Alec was currently upstairs, getting ready for his first date with that Nina girl he had met during Freshmen Orientation. The bird was a knock-out too! Imagine that! Obviously Alec had the Niccals charm down if he could score a date with a girl who looked as she did. What were the odds that after years of ridicule, he’d snag a hot lil’ bird like that? What if the girl was thick? Alec may not have ever said much regarding his social life, but Murdoc was well aware of the fact that Alec hadn’t had much luck with the ladies. Finally manages to snag a pretty bird for a date and watch the girl be as stupid as Stu. Maybe that was Alec’s lot. His limitations had made him the butt of too many jokes in secondary school and most of the birds there had laughed in his face. It was a fucking rotten deal on Alec's end, no doubt about it. He was a great kid. He was nothing at all like Murdoc, he had a great personality, good looks and a pretty good sense of humor. But Murdoc knew that the rejections Alec had faced through his teen years had wounded him and even jaded him a bit. True to Niccals form, Alec refused to show his frustration in front of Murdoc.

He could remember with picture perfect clarity the first time he’d found out that Alec had attempted to approach a girl. The girl had laughed in his face and then mocked him for days. It had crushed the boy. How old had he been – fifteen? First time Murdoc had heard the boy openly cry in years. It had been by pure accident, both Murdoc and Amy mucking about in the studio to fool around with the guitars and Murdoc had stepped out to get them something to drink. Alec had waited until they were gone to vent his aggravation to Hailey and neither of them had heard Murdoc step out of the studio. He’d stood there, in the kitchen, listening as Alec recounted the incident, the tears threatening with every breath and word. Hailey had been completely gobsmacked when he broke down, cursing a body that constantly betrayed him and left him a laughing stock in the face of his peers. What words of comfort could you give to a young man who was probably wiser beyond his years, showing even more maturity than his own father? The world had betrayed him in too many ways. Murdoc even felt that he had betrayed him at times. It had been fourteen years since _the_ _accident_ and there were nights Murdoc still mentally beat himself up over that damned garage door. How could he not? Hailey constantly assured him that he was not at fault for what had happened to Alec, but it didn't make the guilt any lesser. And it had been guilt he’d felt during those moments he’d heard Alec’s quiet sobs as the boy vented about being stuck in a body he’d come to loath.

Over the next few years, Alec never really got into it much. Sometimes Murdoc would ask and sometimes Alec would pipe off that he needed to mind his business. Sometimes Murdoc would find his and Hailey's adult film collection rifled through, but nothing ever missing. Import magazines lay in Alec's closet, collecting dust (Murdoc only knew this from when he had to go into the boy's room to get his shoulder bag for him on the way out the door to school). Alec kept his frustrations mostly to himself and generally only went to his mother when he wanted someone to talk to. Murdoc thought he should have been offended by this, but realized that Alec’s personality clashed with his so greatly that the lad probably felt Hailey was the safer option seeing that they were a bit more alike in personality. Hailey had an aura around her that simply made you want to talk to her about your troubles and an uncanny ability to listen and offer unbiased advice. Murdoc could remember those moments when they’d first met, remembering how easily it had been to tell her his troubles and realizing that she was actually listening to him. It was entirely possible that Alec was drawn to her in the same fashion, recognizing that she would listen. For someone who could be cold as ice when the situation warranted it, it often surprised him how warm Hailey was when it came to him and the kids. Especially Alec. Murdoc reasoned it was due to the fact the boy was disabled and she’d been his primary caretaker through all the ups and downs that had come with his disabilities, but there was no denying the fact that Hailey loved that boy more than life itself and probably even more than she loved Murdoc.

Alec’s first steps into adulthood had finally started to expose him to more positive experiences. Thank Satan for that, right? No more kids harassing him and bullying him for his disabilities. Everyone he’d met at Uni had been eager to accept him into their circles. He had clubs lined up and social groups already welcoming him into this new stage of his life. The cherry on top being the pretty girl giving him her number after a pleasant few moments together over coffee. Alec was beyond elated and all but jumping for joy. And it made Murdoc realize just how much real hurt he had been feeling. After being laughed at and rejected so much, the boy had finally managed to find someone who didn't care about his limitations and wanted to get to know the man beyond them. Alec had even hinted that a few other young women on the campus had expressed interest but he’d declined them, wanting to get to know the Nina girl more and see where things went with it.

This highlighted just how much he _wasn’t_ like Murdoc. At Alec’s age, Murdoc had already fucked his way around the blocks of Stoke, been a frequent flyer of the free clinic and had no desire to actually remain attached the birds he’d hooked up with. It had all been about getting off and moving on as quickly as he could. A date? What the hell was that? Teenage Murdoc had no idea what a real date was. Hell, by the age of eighteen, he’d had his third paternity scare. It was around that time he’d also discovered speed and shit had simply become a blur until he was in his thirties. The speed addiction had made him careless and he’d unwittingly sired several kids during a six month bender in his twenties. They knew of him and he knew of them and none of them were interested in getting to know one another. He was merely the genetic donor. The men who’d raised them were Dad. But that hadn’t stopped the government from going after him for back child support out of the blue right before he’d started planning the Plastic Beach album. He’d nearly shit himself when he opened the bill and realized he was overdue for millions thanks to becoming a successful musician. It had taken a few hundred thousand and a good fucking solicitor to get that bill out of his hair. So Alec wanting to acquaint himself with just one bird and taking a shine to her should bring some relief.

Continuing his trek up the stairs, he wondered just what he was supposed to say to the boy. Why was he stuck with the task anyway? Alec and Hailey were the close ones. Not him. She should be talking to him, not Murdoc. He and Alec were like oil and fucking water. Hailey just had to throw it all onto Murdoc's shoulders. “You're the dad,” she’d said. “This is your arena. I'll cover Amy when the time is right.” Fucking A...why him? What exactly was he supposed to tell the lad? Murdoc knew he was the last person anyone would want to go to for advice on women. Hell, he was still playing it by ear half the time. He’d spent the last few decades just winging it. His views on casual dating were a far cry from Alec's views. The boy had even given both he and Hailey an earful over the fact that they’d started as a hook-up and he only existed because of one careless night. Imagine that, being lectured by your own son who – as far as Murdoc knew – had yet to even know what sex felt like. Talk about fucking embarrassing, to say nothing of annoying!

Pausing at the top of the stairs, Murdoc peered down the hall. Alec's door lay open, the light slicing through the darkened hallway. The bathroom door was cracked with a sliver of light coming through. Faint sound of movement coming from the other side, humming. “Alec?” he called out, tapping at the door. “What's takin' you so long, boy?”

“Dun' come in here!” Alec barked. “I'm not dressed!”

He had to bite his lip, the smirk cracking onto his face. “Come off it, Alec. I changed your fuckin' nappies.” Drawing back from the door, he leaned against the far wall. Give the lad some privacy, he reminded himself. No need to freak him out. Probably already a nervous wreck as it is. He waited another moment or so, chewing on a fingernail. Shame to let some good old joshing pass him by. Shake the boy up a bit and get a laugh while he was at it. Unable to resist, he started laughing as he lit a cigarette. “You're not wankin' off in there, are you?”

Alec let out a small squeak, yanking open the door and now staring at Murdoc with narrowed eyes and not at all amused by the grin on Murdoc’s face. Clad only in a pair of jeans, his hair still damp from the shower and a shirt hanging from the shower rod, probably what he’d planned to wear for the night. Almost sneering at Murdoc as he thrust his toothbrush towards his face “Does it look like I'm wankin' off, you perverted ol' giffer?” Alec snarled. “I'm tryin' t' make myself look half arsed decent, for christ's sake!”

“Oi, I was just fuckin' with you,” Murdoc chuckled, holding up both hands. “No need t' get pissy bent outa shape ‘bout it, Alec.” Alec's murderous expression softened. Poor boy was anxious and probably scared to death of doing something disastrous. The closest he saw of how to treat a woman was Murdoc sometimes walking by Hailey and grabbing a handful of her arse or tackling her on the sofa because he was feeling particularly frisky and wanted to cop a feel of her tits before dragging her upstairs. Okay, maybe these weren’t the best examples. He’d reasoned seeing the playful side of things was good for the kids. It let them know that he and Hailey still cared for one another and had fun. But grabbing a handful of arse or motorboating a stellar set of tits wasn’t exactly how to kick off a good first date, now was it? Murdoc cocked his head, scanning over Alec's expression carefully. “Nervous?” he asked in a quiet voice, the mocking tone gone.

Alec nodded, grabbing his shirt from the hanger. “Understatement of the year,” he muttered, dropping his toothbrush back into the little holder and slowly struggling to get the shirt over his head. “I know I'm goin' t' screw this up an' screw this up bad.”

“Puh-lease, boy,” Murdoc cackled. “Havin' a way with the ladies is in your blood. Hell, even me own horse's arse of a father seemed t' have a way with them. I know me an' Han aren't his only ones. We're just the only ones who got stuck with the crooked ol' bastard.”

Alec frowned, his gaze dropping to the ground. “What if somethin’ goes wrong? What if she expects me t’ do somethin’ an’ I can’t?”

“Surely you know what t' do, boy?” Murdoc queried, now staring at the young man with a puzzled expression.

“I mean....I know what t' do....” Alec's face flushed, unable to meet Murdoc's gaze.

“But...?”

Alec swallowed hard, slowly looking up to his face. “What if thins’ end too quickly...or she touches...me an’ I’m done then an’ there?”

“You imagine it's your hand,” Murdoc said in a matter of fact tone. “At least until thins' progress.” Okay, this conversation was a bit more uncomfortable than he anticipated. He’d never considered anything like this. At least Alec was thinking ahead, right? The boy’s expression bothered him though. He dropped his gaze to the floor again, his cheeks a brilliant pink and something occurred to Murdoc at that point. Alec’s motor control issues. His hands trembled. Murdoc's brow furrowed, taking in Alec's hesitation. No way, he thought. Not possible. Easy enough to accept that he hadn't had a woman, but not enjoying something as simple as self service? “Err... dun' you ever....?”

“No,” Alec whispered, still staring at the floor. “Can’t...tried once. Hurt m’self.”

“Sugary Beelzebub,” Murdoc whispered.. “How'd you survive?”

Alec frowned, still refusing to look up. For a brief moment Murdoc felt like a class A cunt for not realizing just how rough Alec’s teen years had been. Poor boy was denied all the great things that adolescence should’ve brought him and he couldn’t even give himself a good rummage in his shorts because his hands couldn’t cooperate. Taking a breath, Alec shifted in the doorway, finally looking up from the floor. “Just ‘fraid once I’m on the spot, I’m gonna mess it all up.”

Murdoc tried to keep his gaze steady with Alec's, clearing his throat. “I’m not good at this, boy, I hope you know that. Reckon all I can suggest is just let the moment happen. You’ll know when it does. Dun’ stress ‘bout all the _what ifs_ an’ just ride with it.” When Alec flashed a small smile, he reached out and gave his shoulder a squeeze. “Right then....err.....an'thin' you might need for this night out?”

“I dun' think so...” Alec whispered.

“Condoms?”

“ _DAD_!” Alec cried out, the color draining from his face. “I got it under control!”

Taking a step back, Murdoc chuckled good-naturedly as he spun on his heels to walk back towards the stairs. “Good....dun' use them m'self. You'd be shit outa luck if you tried comin' t' me an'ways....”

*****************************

It was much later than they anticipated, but neither had a curfew to worry about. Nina put the car in park, allowing it to idle just outside the house. Alec looked around the cottage carefully, seeing no lights on to indicate the old man was still up and about. The movie, a remake of Interview With The Vampire, had been alright. He’d found it mostly drawn out, but Nina and Hailey had both agreed that it probably wouldn’t hold a candle to the original and apparently they were correct in this assumption. In an effort to hold true to the book, the Claudia character had been done in complete CGI with an adult actress doing her voice amidst a cast of live actors. Hard to get a five year old child to act and speak like an adult. But Nina said the use of CGI had just ruined it. Both of them had griped loudly through the entire movie, Nina even flinging popcorn until they had both been asked to leave. He considered fighting the removal but Nina was more than happy to finally leave. There’d only been maybe ten more minutes of the movie left anyway, so at least they’d gotten his money’s worth from it.

They strolled through late night London before finding home in a small coffee shop where they talked for the better part of two hours. And the more they talked, the more Alec really liked Nina. For someone who’d come from such a stuffy and arrogant family, she was amazingly sweet and down to earth. And she really liked him too, much to his delight. It was weird realizing that this girl liked him and wanted to continue going on some more dates and not doing it just to be patronizing because he was physically limited. He’d been terrified that she had regretted giving him her number and was only going on the date out of pity. There were plenty of able-bodied young men at Uni and yet this knock out in the snug jeans and fluffy sweater was only interested in _him_. He supposed he was jaded in that respect because he’d been taunted enough through secondary school and more than one or two of the girls there had indicated interest but only to fuck with him and mock him later. Wonder what some of them would be thinking now knowing he’d managed to snag a date with a beautiful young woman who wasn’t put off by him?

Alec cast another glance at the darkened cottage, verifying without a doubt that the old tosser wasn’t awake and waiting him out. “I had a wonderful time, Nina,” he said, flashing a smile in the darkened cab of the car. “A really wonderful time.” He tried in vain to see her face, the light from the front porch illuminating her hair like a fiery halo. Glint of her eyes in the darkness, white flash of teeth as she smiled.

“I did as well,” she whispered. “An' your parents are quite the couple. Dun' think I ever met an'one like them.”

“An' you never will,” Alec chuckled. “They’re one of a kind.”

“Definitely one of a kind.” It was her turn to look at the cottage now, the ghost of a smile on her face. “It’s kinda nice meetin’ people that are nothin’ like m’ parents or the circles they keep. Your Dad is quite the character.”

“An' t' think that he behaved himself,” Alec whispered, cracking another smile.

Nina let out a small laugh, resting her head against the cushioned head-rest of the little compact. “I just wish your sister woulda quit givin' me the evil eye...”

“Amy's protective. Little brute, she is.” Alec let out a husky laugh. “You'd think she was the older of us two, but I got the girl on six and a half years.”

“Your family was wonderful,” she said softly. “Bit odd meetin’ the one an’ only Murdoc Niccals. Gorillaz was before my time, but his film work is spectacular. Is it true he made ever’thin’ himself out of a home studio?”

Alec nodded, cracking another smile. “Err...yeah. Writes it, composes it an’ then uses the recordin’ equipment t’ polish them up. Brings in a quest musician now an’ ‘gain, but it’s ninety-nine percent Murdoc.”

“How many instruments does he play?” She was staring at him now with a small frown. She was a film buff, of course, so he reasoned these were normal questions. Most had no idea that his Dad was well versed on several instruments but preferred bass.

“A few,” Alec said with a half shrug. “Piano is his second favorite. Majority of his work is bass heavy or piano heavy, but the network suits love the shit an’ keep askin’ for more.”

A small snorting laugh erupted from her. Christ, she was a looker. Even in the darkness, he could see her shining through. She lit a cigarette and passed him one. “Curious ‘bout one thin’, though...Your Dad’s from Stoke, yeah? Grew up there?”

“Christ, dun’ tell me you were conceived there an’ are m’ long lost sister!” He let out a strangled laugh. “M’ Dad got ‘round a bit before meetin’ Mum so nothin’ would surprise me. Hell, I have siblins’ that are old ‘nough t’ be my parents!”

Nina choked against her cigarette, shaking her head violently. “Gah, no! Nothin’ at all like that, Alec! I just was askin’ because I dun’ hear an accent. He doesn’t sound like he’s from Stoke.”

“He hasn't lived there in years....sorta just lost the accent, I think...trained himself t’ speak a certain way.” His expression lit up, another laugh escaping from him as he lit a cigarette with trembling hands. “Comes out when he's rantin' 'bout somethin', gets too drunk or if he runs in t' 'nother Stokie. Once, he started carryin' on 'bout some stupid shit...Dun' remember what it was an'more. But I remember me, Mum an' Amy just starin' at him because we didn't understand a bloody word he was sayin'. Sounded like fuckin’ jibberish t’ us!” He felt his smile broaden when Nina starting laughing as well. If things went well enough, she might actually get to see his Dad’s slips and get a good laugh.

“I would love t' see that,” she snickered, her eyes meeting his. “From what you've told me....they all sound wonderful. Far cry from my parents an' the parents' of my friends. It's all a close circle for them.”

“Best way t' get it outa him.....ask him 'bout his father,” Alec said, laughing harder. His laughter died down a bit when he realized that her hand was creeping over his. Goosebumps breaking out over his arms beneath the fabric of the loose cotton shirt he wore. Turning his head to look towards her, he felt his breath catch in his chest when he realized that she had scooted closer on the bench seat, her face now inches from his. This is it, his mind screamed. This is the moment you've been waiting for. Why are you now staring at her like a gobsmacked fool?

A shiver shot through his spine when her mouth smashed against his, the hand that covered his now creeping along his denim clad thigh. Peppermint tea, he thought absently, willing his trembling hands into her hair, feeling her move closer. Grabbing his hands, she shoved them down against her thighs as she moved across him and straddled across his lap. She pressed her body close, mouth still on his, her hands now fumbling with the button of his jeans. Fleeting thoughts of fear danced through his head. What if she could tell he was inexperienced? What if she was only doing this out of pity? He pushed these thoughts away when her hands quickly unbuttoned his jeans. His own body had reacted almost immediately to her closeness and there was no hiding it now that she’d gotten his jeans undone. She moved her hands further into his jeans, her eyes widening a moment as she pulled her mouth away from his. “Is somethin' wrong?” he panted, fear washing over his features.

“No,” she breathed, moving back towards him. “Just a little surprised at a few thins'.....”

Alec pulled his mouth out of vicinity of hers, staring at her now with questioning green eyes. “Like what, if I may ask?”

Nina's face flushed a brilliant shade of scarlet, her eyes dropping from his. “You're a little more of a surprise than I expected, is all. In good ways.”

Alec continued to stare at her warily. “You're sure?”

“Positive,” she murmured, mouth back against his, her hands now shoving at his jeans.

He struggled to move beneath her, trying to squirm his hips free of the denim as she worked on getting out of her own jeans and grabbing something from her purse before climbing back across him, mouth pressed back against his. Alec brought his hands back up to her face, fingers into her hair, groaning when he felt her hand wrap around him briefly before her body finally came into contact with him. He could feel her mouth tense against his, every muscle in her body tensing as she eased her body onto him slowly. It felt like a million explosions going off in his head at once, feeling her body move as she rocked against him slowly. His legs may have been half numb and damned near useless, but his hips sure were not. Dropping his hands down, he grabbed at her hips and pulled her closer to him. Sinister joy at the sound of her moans against his mouth. Fears of things ending too quickly evaporated from his mind as she worked across his lap slowly, clutching at his shoulders through each groan. Only vaguely aware that the car was rocking on its axles, the two continued on, uncaring of the world around them. Nina pulled her mouth away from his, forehead pressing against his own, her teeth clamping down against her lower lip. He was working harder now, hair pressed against his forehead from sweat, focusing on what he knew was coming close. Why the fuck was he denied something so wonderful for so damned long? She was nothing but pure heat around him, a delicious warmth. The sounds she made when he was flush against her were enough to almost end it for him right then and there. But this was too damned good. He wanted to hear her moan louder. Make her fucking scream even. His brain felt like it had shut down, something primal taking over.

He was too caught up in it all now. Using his grip on her thighs to pull her back against his body, driving into her as hard as he could, half snarling and half grunting as the end came near. She had reached up to hold the ceiling of the car, moaning loudly as she braced herself upright, panting out words through her moans. “Harder, oh god, harder.” He gave as good as he could, pulling her back towards him, mouth against hers and feeling the buzz of white noise in his head. Almost there. Holy fuck, he was almost there.

Nina uttered a half moan, half shriek when a shadow moved outside the fogged window followed by a few taps. She flung herself to the other side of the bench seat, her jerking movement all it took. Alec whimpered as the moment hit hard, his breath coming out in short gasps. He lay there against the seat, the white noise slowly receding. Unable to think. Unable to even fucking move. He just felt drained suddenly. Nina was scrambling to pull her jeans back on, saying something that he couldn’t quite understand. Too much noise in his head. Like a buzzing. It wasn’t a bad buzzing. He felt light and free and wiped the fuck out. She kept pointing to the window. Someone was out there. That’s what she was saying. Someone was out there and they were laughing. The shadow beside the car tapped again, this time louder. Shaking his head, Alec looked over to the side, catching sight of the shadow as it paced around the car. The voice on the other side of the fogged window laughing, trying to talk. “Oi, you lot hungry? Just made some sandwiches.”

Recognizing Murdoc’s voice, reality came crashing back into Alec. No way. He didn’t just do this, did he? Surely the old man had better decorum than that! The good feelings evaporated, replaced with rising irritation and anger. He let out a string of hissed curses as he fumbled with his jeans, every part of him feeling like he was vibrating. What the fuck? What a depraved, juvenile arsehole! That’s what his father was. And so like him to do something _exactly_ like this. Across the bench seat, Nina was adjusting her top, now almost giggling. “It's not funny,” Alec whispered, glowering at her.

Murdoc thumped against the window again. “You better hurry up. Dun' want the mayo t' turn.”

“You're a cunt, Dad!” Alec bellowed through the fogged glass.

“Whatever, boy,” Murdoc laughed, leaning against the fogged up little Volvo. “You're the one who was rockin' this car like nobody's fuckin' business. I could hear the bloody thin' all the way in the kitchen. Think you broke the axles.”

“ _GO AWAY!_ ” Alec bellowed as he rolled down the window.

Murdoc merely smoked his cigarette, smirking down at him. “Look, son, if you're an'thin' like me, you'll need an afterward snack. I'm on half-time, me-self.” He leaned down, peering into the darkened car as he flicked the cigarette away. “Nina-love, you plan on stayin' a spell?”

Alec flung his fist against the glass, getting more agitated with each passing moment. “I can't fuckin' believe you!”

“Dunno what you're so worked up 'bout, boy?” Murdoc said, still laughing. “It's just sex. No secret 'round here an' you know it.” Cracking a smile, he patted at the roof of the car. “I'll meet you lot inside, yeah? Get your bearins' an' all.” Moving back towards the house, he paused about halfway, peering back over his shoulder at them. “Oh...an' Alec...?”

“WHAT, GODDAMN IT!” Alec snarled, glaring daggers.

“If you make a mistake....dun' you dare name it after me, boy,” he cackled.


	8. The Disappearance of Wendy Krump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: MURDER, TORTURE

His voice echoed through the house, clearly aggravated. He could see Alec sitting at the kitchen table with his head lowered. It only fired Murdoc up even more. The boy’s pride was in shambles thanks to a group of kids at Birmingham Secondary who had made it their life’s mission to make Alec’s life miserable. Barely back to school two weeks after only just managing to get the use of his legs back after a massive grand mal had incapacitated him, the pack of heathens zeroed in on him and started their bullshit all over again. And the slags at the school were not helping the situation. Talk of mediation. Suggestions that the school might not be a good fit for Alec. Implications that nothing could or would be done due to the status of the kids who had been attacking the lad. “I dun' fuckin' care what your bleedin' policies are!” Murdoc bellowed from the sitting room, his nails digging in to the thick padding of the chair he was sitting in. “You either expel that lil' twat or her an' her fuckin' family can face assault charges! Hell, I might still do it even if you expel the bitch!”

Wendy Krump was the rotten little twat’s name, the youngest child of some pseudo wealthy family who lived not far from them. A girl who’d been kicked out of nearly every school she’d been placed in, Birmingham willing to put up with her antics due to her father frequently donating money to the school. Her and her band of cronies had taken a shine to Alec and he’d faced the brunt of their harassment and abuses. Before the seizure, their taunting had been purely vocal and on the rare occasion, they would vandalize his locker. During the weeks he’d been mostly wheelchair bound, the taunting had backed down a bit, but they still did little things that irritated the young man. Alec took the brunt of a lot of it. Him and his friend, Tucker, a geeky and lanky boy with wispy red hair and oversized ears. Walking by and pushing Alec to the ground, knowing he couldn't keep his balance. Taking things and putting them where he could not access them. Name calling. Telling him that he didn't belong in a school full of normal people and should have been institutionalized. The final straw came when her and her little band of twats thought it would be funny and had tripped Alec down a short flight of stairs. He was thankfully mostly unharmed, but it was enough to send both Hailey and Murdoc through the roof. His cane had slid out of reach and the rails of the stairs were too far away for him to grab so he could pull himself up. He lay there for almost a half hour before someone found him and helped him.

Bumped, bruised, his pride – which was already fragile – about shattered, all he could do was stare numbly at everything around him. Murdoc suspected the lad was now more embarrassed due to his parents stepping in. It just fed into his beliefs that he was too weak to stand up for himself and needed his parents to fight his battles. But what the fuck were they supposed to do while this bitch continued to torment him? Murdoc wasn’t going to just sit there and wait for Alec to figure something out. The latest stunt could have seriously hurt Alec, if not killed him and the little bitch was acting as if what she’d done was no big deal. Claiming it was unintentional and perhaps Alec should watch his step. Claiming he was exaggerating because there were only six steps to that particular flight of stairs. Even implying that kids like him didn’t belong in school with normal kids. The school kept backtracking and backpeddling, unwilling to put specific blame onto the girl because there were supposedly no witnesses and it was her word against Alec’s. Long story short, the girl was about to get away with it. Again. The school wasn’t even willing to give the girl detention.

Murdoc seethed, his gaze flickering over to the kitchen table and seeing Alec still silent and hunched over. It was reminding him quickly of his own school years and being the butt of everyone’s jokes. Even Hailey had dealt with the crueler side of the teenage years. Christ, imagine that. Torture passed on to next generations. The only one who appeared to not have any issue was Amy, who was merely sitting across from Alec as she shoveled cereal into her mouth. Last kid who tried to bully her ended up with a broken nose. At least Amy didn’t take anyone’s shit, yeah? He found himself wondering what was worse at this point. Playing the protective parent of one kid who was mostly incapable of defending himself and then playing the sorry parent for another who would slug you in the face if you looked at her the wrong way. Dual roles he was ill equipped to play. The receptionist on the line said something that momentarily escaped him. He frowned, “Say what ‘gain?” More pathetic babble he didn’t want to hear. The parents of the bitch implying that Alec was instigating things and then playing the victim. “I dun' think so! You lot want t' face charges too! We've been over this time an' time 'gain, Julie! C'mon, you know this! He's been dealin' with this little cunt now for two fuckin’ years! _Do somethin’ ‘bout it or I will_!” Staring at his cell phone screen, he let out a few huffs before disconnecting the call. He could feel his grip on the phone tightening and had to take a few more calming breaths before he ended up breaking the blasted thing. Wouldn’t be the first time he broke a phone in a rage.

Tossing the phone onto the mixing equipment, Murdoc stalked out of the studio and back into the kitchen, catching sight of three pairs of eyes now looking at him with apprehension. “I’m fine,” he muttered, grabbing a beer from the icebox. “No need for you lot t’ get all twisted ‘bout it.” He could still feel their stares on his back as he uncapped the bottle and flicked the cap towards the bin, a small smile of triumph on his face when it ricocheted off the rim and bounced down into the depths of the trash. Okay, so he wasn’t completely off his game today. Probably would need to arrange a meeting with the staff at that blasted school. Might have to wrangle Hailey into doing that because she’d be able to address the issues without blowing a blood vessel. He couldn’t make any promises at this point because one wrong word from the little twat, her parents or some patronizing remark from the school would probably lead to him being hauled out in handcuffs.

Alec sighed into his food, shaking his head. “I’m sorry you guys got dragged in t’ this.”

“Dun’ ‘pologize,” Murdoc said curtly, claiming a chair at the table. “You shouldn’t be ‘pologizin’ for an’thin’. You didn’t do an’thin’ wrong here. You coulda gotten seriously hurt by that stunt an’ we’re not gonna just sit here an’ wait for them t’ twiddle their fuckin’ thumbs. If I dun’ hear back from them by later t’day, we’ll show up in person an’ make them address the issue.”

Alec paled, staring up at him with wide and pleading eyes. “Oh hell, Dad, please dun’ do that. They’ll never let me hear the end of it!”

Murdoc’s eyes surfaced from his beer. Experience told him it was normal for the boy to be embarrassed by his parents butting into the situation but what else was left to do? Not like Alec could fight back. Not to mention the fact that the tormentor was female and even if Alec had tried to fight back – disabled or not – he’d be the one demonized by staff and peers alike for putting his hands on a woman. It wouldn’t matter that the little cunt had been tormenting him for months. I wouldn’t matter than she’d shoved a disabled boy down the stairs as some grand joke. Nope, none of that would fucking matter. Everyone would target mild-mannered Alec and treat him like dirt under their shoes if he’d dared fight back. All because his tormentor was the opposite gender. Adding to the issue being that the girl’s parents had money and more or less thought they could get away with whatever they wanted.

Alec pushed the food away, rising to his feet. “It’s ‘kay, you guys. You dun’ need t’ fight my battles.”

“We weren’t given a choice on the matter,” Murdoc muttered bitterly. “The school refuses t’ do an’thin’ ‘bout it an’ her parents think she walks on water. If they won’t get it sorted then we will.” The only option left was to talk to the school in person and if nothing was done, then they can proceed with pressing charges against the girl. Magistrate wouldn’t look too kindly on some stuck up brat picking on a disabled kid. Maybe a nice little criminal record would cool the bitch’s heels? “We’ll give the school one more try before takin’ it further. If they dun’ handle it by reprimanded the girl then we take it up with the courts an’ press charges. Simple as that.”

************************

Birmingham Secondary was within close vicinity of the primary school that Amy attended. Alec being released first and making his way to meet up with Amy as she was released. They were within walking distance of home. Initially thought of as a good thing until Amy started getting in trouble for beating up some of the kids at her school. At barely eleven years old, she stood maybe four feet tall and tipped the scales just at sixty pounds. She was a wiry little adversary that many underestimated until she laid them out or outsmarted them in some way. She’d lost count of how many times she’d been grounded for knocking around some of the older kids and had even managed to snag a three day suspension for kicking a teacher in the arse for refusing to believe the little bully she’d laid out had started it. She also had a knack for studying people and figuring out how they ticked. For her various grievances, she had been escorted to school by one or both parents. Usually via car, but sometimes they would walk with her and Alec. She allowed some of the chaos to cool down a bit and avoided any physical altercations so her parents weren’t so stressed out. She knew they were. Hyper vigilant with her older brother and then acting like prison wardens when it came to her. She was pretty sure her Dad was fully grey, even if he tried to hide it via those boxes of Just For Men she spotted in the bin.

There were times she wished her parents had pushed to have her skip a few grades so she could attend Birmingham with Alec and make sure he wasn’t getting harassed by the other kids. Her teachers and one of the counselors at her school had taken the time to test her on some things, most of which were too bloody easy. After they’d reviewed her results, it had been been followed up with several meetings between the teachers and her parents. She overheard enough to know that she had marked exceptionally well on the tests they’d given her. She’d marked off the charts, the teacher had told her parents. There’d been talk of skipping a few grades and that would have put her attending Birmingham with Alec, but their parents had refused the idea. They’d wanted Amy to remain in her current grade with her peers. At the time, Amy had originally been a little put off by this, but over time realized that there was advantage to remaining within her peer group.

Their parents had eventually gone to the school to talk with staff as they’d discussed that one afternoon and she could only assume it did not go well because she’d overheard them upon their return, talking in depth about filing assault charges against the girl, just as Dad had threatened. The main girl who was harassing Alec was some stuck up little tart who thought herself untouchable and it appeared that this may be the case since nobody wanted to hold the girl accountable. Amy found this interesting because she always thought they were pretty well to do themselves and she was always getting in trouble for things. And she wasn’t even picking on people. She was often the one beating up the bullies or finding other ways to humiliate them. Why the hell was this Wendy girl getting away with so much when Amy couldn’t even look at someone sideways without getting two weeks of lunch detentions and grounded for a month? It made zero sense.

Amy pondered over all of this in the following weeks as she and Alec walked to and from their respective schools. Wendy Krump often went down the same path they did on her bike, the path cutting through some woods and marshland before it forked off at the halfway point – Amy and Alec veering to the left while Wendy veered right. Because Alec often went to Amy’s school first to pick her up, they rarely encountered Wendy on the path. She was only aware of this due to the one time her school had an early release and she’d gone to Alec’s school to wait him out, catching sight of his tormentor as she mounted her silver and black cruiser bike, hurling a few choice words towards Alec before taking off. In the wake of their parents arriving at the school demanding something be done about the Wendy bird, Alec’s harassment had increased. Krump and her lackeys made a point not to get physical, but had tormented him all the same. Cutting off the lock to his locker and replacing it with a new one he couldn’t access. Mimicking the way he stood, the way he walked, even the tremble in his hands and often implying that he was stupid. Alec was far from stupid. His limitations were mostly physical though there were times when his memory wasn’t the best but that was a given considering how often he’d been hospitalized following seizures. Her own sixth birthday had been completely ruined due to a really bad one. At the time, she’d felt angry and betrayed that the _one day_ that should’ve been all about her had once again gotten overshadowed by his needs. She’d come to understand it better the older she got, but it hadn’t quite taken the sting out of it.

Amy decided to do some investigating of her own. With her most recent grounding being lifted finally, this allowed her to explore the property and beyond, even sneaking off to the path they took to see where that right fork went off to. She discovered it was just as plain and marshy with thickets of bushes and low trees before finally stopping outside an unfriendly looking wrought iron gate patrolled by equally unfriendly looking German Shepherds. Surrounded by woods, the only houses close by being Alec and Amy's home as well as that of some retired couple maybe a half a mile in the opposite direction. She followed the fence around, catching sight of what she assumed was Wendy’s home. Any potential doubts were dashed to the ground when she spotted Wendy’s silver and black cruiser leaning against a shed. Wendy sometimes appeared outside of the home and other times it was an older couple Amy could only assume were the girl’s parents. Or maybe grandparents? None of that really mattered, she reasoned. She mainly wanted to get a good idea of the girl’s routines and the paths she mainly took. Sometimes she could hear the older couple yelling at Wendy and other times Wendy would screech at them. Amy was certain she’d overheard mentions of the local constable showing up regarding potential charges. So Mum and Dad weren’t messing around with that threat after all. They’d actually started the process of having the girl charged.

Upon her walks back down the path to where the fork in the pathway met, she dully noted some heavy marshland flanking one side of the path and some thick brush area flanking the other side. It was mostly quiet and secluded. The question was what she planned to do with this information. She had some ideas in mind, but part of her balked at this. What else could be done, though? The girl wasn’t going to stop being a bitch to Alec and it was time someone held her accountable for it. There was no guarantee their parents would succeed at anything that would legally stick and it was entirely possible the court would be too lax with the seventeen year old Wendy. Amy took all this information in, even reading up on some of the legal stuff online to get a better idea of whether or not Krump would face any kind of repercussions for her actions. It was pretty much a crapshoot. They would either charge her and fine her or let her walk and then the abuse would continue.

She continued to think over the information she’d gathered when she returned to the area where the marsh and thick brush were, exploring the bushes and discovering a long abandoned homeless camp. Packed earth, a spot that might have once been a fire pit, canopy of leaves and branches all around. Almost dark within, much like a cave. There was a very real possibility that Krump would never be held accountable for her abuses towards Alec and the more she thought about this, the angrier she got. With this rising anger came vivid images in her head of seeing the Krump girl suffer. It was what she deserved, after all. The more she entertained these vivid daydreams of suffering, the more ideas that sprang to mind. Ideas that would need careful planning and supplies. Supplies that were near-impossible to obtain herself, but perhaps her parents had on hand around the house?

So she continued to watch Wendy’s comings and goings, getting the girl’s routine down as best she could. She planned everything carefully, not daring to write anything down but simply mentally tucking away the information to explore later on. The only loose end would be Alec. How to elude him without raising his suspicions. As angry and bitter as he was with this Wendy girl, he would never support any act of violence against her. Amy initially found this attitude weak, but realized that this was just how her older brother was. Look what an act of violence had done to him. Was it a wonder that he had no taste for it, regardless of how deserving it might be? Alec was a pacifist and felt there were better avenues one could take. Amy, on the other hand, recognized when one needed to take things a step further. And this situation was without a doubt was one where you needed to take things a step further. Everyone had tried to do things the right way and it had gotten them nowhere, so there was only one other option left. And as far as Amy was concerned, she was the perfect person to get this done.

Whether it was luck or mere coincidence, it was club enrollment time at her school. She happily signed up for a mystery club, attending their meetings after school twice a week. Get the routine down. Alec would know on those two days he could go straight home and not have to wait for her. It would take weeks to get the routines down so she could do this unnoticed. That was okay because she had all the time in the world as long as she stayed out of trouble in school. The club had meetings on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Alec was now well versed on simply heading home those days without bothering to wait for Amy’s school to get out.

Thursday morning, she packed her book bag, quickly shoving an aging change of play clothing within, tucking it behind her books. Something she could wear and discard so not to ruin her school uniform. And the clothing was bordering on too small, hardly worn anymore and this also meant her parents wouldn’t wonder where missing clothing was going. She hadn’t worn the clothing in close to six months. The shirt was still loose, but the hemline just reached the waistband of her jeans and the jeans themselves were practically highwaters on her. Mum would have gone through the closet and tossed them into a donation pile any time now. Quiet as a mouse, she crept through the house to collect the things needed, tucking them away in her bag. It had also required jimmying the lock on the studio door and fumbling around in the dark to find one of the main things she needed, but she was able to slip out and relock the door without anyone noticing her. Having everything she thought she needed, she began her morning and so far everything went as it normally would. Some bickering over the shared bathroom between her and Alec, breakfast down in the kitchen, lunches packed and handed off to each kid, both of them leaving at the same time. Her and Alec parted ways just outside Birmingham Secondary and she skipped off down the sidewalk towards her school. Get through the day and hope nobody snooped through her bag, or universe forbid, something broke and leaked out of the bag. When the final bell rang, she ventured to the room that the club held their meetings, citing illness and she needed to just go home and rest. She changed her clothing in the bathroom closest to one of the exits, shoving her uniform haphazardly into her bag and darted off quickly down the path, cutting through the woods to where she knew she would meet up with the young woman.

In the brush, she simply waited, clutching a broken tree limb in her hand, allowing her rapid breathing to slow. She had beat the Wendy broad by five or ten minutes. Feeling her own heartbeat pounding in her chest, she almost didn’t hear the low crunch of bike tires, the sound getting louder and louder as they approached. She spotted Wendy just down the path, blond hair tied up, bag on her back, shorts beneath the short grey skirt of her uniform. Ear-buds in her ears, oblivious to what awaited her. Riding her bike and humming to herself as she traveled down the partially paved walking path, reaching the brush where Amy lay hidden away. Just as she started to pass the brush, Amy shot the stick out towards the tires, ramming in through the spokes, catching, the bike jerking to a stop from the front, Wendy getting thrown over the handlebars into a heap on the ground.

Amy slowly emerged from the brush, staring at the young woman as she rolled around on the path, momentarily stunned. Her heart was hammering in her chest and it took Amy a long moment to realize that she had done it and there was no going back now. It had started and there was little choice now but to finish it once and for all. She pulled out her knit gloves, tugging them onto her hands and stepped through the brush onto the path. Standing over the groaning form of Wendy Krump, she slowly looked around the path, confident that it was just them. There were no other homes in this direction and there would be little chance of her being interrupted by anyone or anything. She grabbed the bike first, shoving it down the other side of the path, watching the bike sink beneath the muck and disappearing entirely from sight.

Wendy lifted her head, staring up at the reed thin young girl with the black hair done in two braids, glaring down at her. Though Wendy had only seem Amy on a few sparse occasions, it was clear the teenager recognized her, now glowering up at her as she continued to struggle to her feet. “What the fuck did you do that for?” she snapped. “Your crippled gimp brother can’t even fight his own battles, gotta have his baby sister do his dirty work for him, eh?” Amy said nothing, grabbing Wendy by her hair and dragging her off the path. Too heavy to really move, the hair she gripped ripped free in her grasp on two occasions, Wendy screaming in pain and Amy falling back on her rump. With a snarl of frustration, Amy twisted the bulk of Wendy's blond hair into her fist with one hand and secured her other hand around Wendy’s head, muffling the woman’s cries as she tugged the girl back into the brush and into the darkness. Amy felt fleeting fear as Wendy struggling against her, more worried that the teen would get loose and she couldn’t outrun her. Amy knew she was small for her size and this often worked to her advantage but in these moments, fighting to drag Wendy into the woods, a young woman who was as tall and as heavy as a regular adult, it made Amy painfully aware that she might have bitten off more than she could chew. It was too late to go back now. If she were to release Wendy now, the young woman would run home and Amy might be the one to face charges and possibly even get locked up herself. What if the police began to dig and found out what she had originally planned? Would they lock her up in a place like Hannibal Lecter?

In the darkness and safety of the brush, Amy tossed the girl to the ground and took a few steps back. She could hear Wendy coughing against the dirt and grit in her mouth. Amy merely circled around the girl, taking in every inch of the girl’s physique and gauging whether or not it would be worth another struggle. She’d pondered over a few different ways to handle this. She had everything she needed in her bag but also needed to be mindful of any potential changes to her plans. Wendy’s size posed a problem. Amy had no way of overpowering her. Trying to get too close could result in getting hurt and Wendy getting away. Okay, so straddling her back and trying to cut her throat was out of the question. Humming, she turned back towards her bag and grabbed the tree limb she’d cut away the day before. The limb was maybe as thick as Wendy’s arms and about three feet long. It was a bit heavy, but would work well enough. “So...dun’ suppose you have an’ last words, Wendy?” she asked in a soft voice, turning to look back down at the young woman.

“What do you think you're gonna do?” Wendy hissed, pushing herself upright and struggling to wipe the dirt from her face. “You can't touch me, little girl. I'll tell me dad. Have the police take both you an' your gimp brother 'way from your Mum an' Dad. Think you can shake me up an’ give me a fright? My parents will sue yours in t’ bankruptcy. Have ‘em livin’ outa cardboard box!”

Amy cocked her head, a strange smile spreading across her face. Still thinking she could push people around, even when faced with the repercussions of her actions. These were the kinds of behaviors that intrigued Amy. This bird really thought she was untouchable and that nobody could do anything about it. Sighing, Amy tightened her grip on the tree branch. “I was hopin' that maybe once you realized the seriousness of what was 'bout t' happen t' you, you might actually find time for some self reflection...guess I was wrong.” Shrugging her narrow shoulders, she brought the branch up and over her head. “Whatever.....now I won't feel too bad when I kill you.”

Wendy's laugh died on her lips as the branch came smashing down into her head. Stunned by the blow, she reeled backwards, scrambling numbly to get out of vicinity of the branch as Amy brought her arms back for another blow. Blood started to trickle down from her hair, a red trail running down her forehead and into her eye. Sputtering, she spun around in an effort to crawl away, half sobbing and half moaning as Amy closed in and brought the tree limb down into her back, knocking Wendy face-first into the dirt. The older girl let out a moan, now moving slowly, dragging herself away as the tree limb came down again and again. Amy's snarls and grunts rose and fell with the blows. It was interesting to see just how weak and frail the human body was. Interesting that the most dangerous organ in the human body was their brain. The only thing that put them at the top of the food chain. Unarmed and without a means to create a defense, human beings were essentially harmless bags of flesh and bones that broke down too easily. When Wendy's sputtered screams finally fell silent, Amy dropped the branch down to the ground and circled around the girl. She was still breathing, which was a bit of a surprise seeing that Amy had focused most of the blows onto the girl’s head, but the branch had caused its intended damage. Her body was bloody, uniform shredded, hair matted with dirt and blood as she lay there with blood bubbling at her lips. Some of Wendy’s skirt and bike shorts had been shredded away and Amy found herself examining Wendy’s knickers. Though torn and dirty, she found some amusement at realizing Wendy was wearing a pair of PowerPuff Girls knickers. Kneeling down to get a better look, Amy tugged at the elastic, chuckling to herself when it snapped against the older girl’s butt-cheek and a stifled groan escaped from the fallen teen.

Confident now that Wendy wouldn’t try to make a run for it, Amy walked over to her book bag and grabbed the pack of cigarettes she’d nicked from her father’s studio. He'd chew her out up one side and down the other if he knew she was smoking and stealing his cigarettes to feed her little habit. Lighting one, she sat at the base of the tree her stuff rested against, watching the bloodied girl with a hint of fascination. A few good blows to the skull were all it had taken. The brain was an amazing organ, no doubt. A few hard blows to the skull had done something to Wendy’s brain making her almost incapacitated, much like how blows to the skull had done the same for Alec. She didn’t know the full story behind it but understood that his issues stemmed from a brain injury he’d received as little kid before she’d been born. Alec’s injuries to his brain had left him disabled and suffering from seizures. Had the blows to Wendy’s head done the same? Not that Amy had any intention of letting the young woman leave this dark clearing, but it would have been interesting to see what would’ve happened if she did. Become twisted into herself with shaking hands and a shuffling gait, seizures striking at any time. It would have been entertaining to study her in this state and it certainly was a fitting punishment for the little bitch, but tempting as it all was, Amy knew she had to finish this.

Letting out a small sigh, she exhaled a plume of smoke and leaned against the tree, legs spread out before her. “People like you deserve the bad thins’ that happen t’ them,” she said flatly, looking over at Wendy. “You get through life thinkin’ you can do whatever you want t’ people an’ the moment you’re held ‘countable for shit, you think you’re the victim.” She cocked an eyebrow when Wendy uttered a sputtered sob in response. “My brother wasn’t born like that, ya know. Somethin’ did that t’ him. An’ you an’ your pack of hyenas thought it was oh so fun t’ hurt him.” Amy perched her cigarette into her mouth and got to her feet, approaching Wendy briskly and sending her shoe smashing into Wendy’s bloodied face. “S’pose tellin’ you that you coulda killed him doin’ that shit dun’ make no difference. You didn’t give a damn ‘bout whether or not you hurt him more. He was nothin’ more than a soft target for you. Someone you could hurt whenever you want an’ face no repercussions for it.”

Wendy merely uttered a groan in response, laying her head into the dirt and letting out a sigh. Frowning down at the teen, Amy shrugged and set her cigarette aside. She went about the task of gathering dried shrubbery that had died from the heat as well as some sticks and branches that had fallen and since dried out. She arranged the dried sticks and shrubs carefully over Wendy, half covering the young woman but keeping her head visible. Digging within the bag, she pulled out the small can of lighter fluid that her Dad used to refill his aging Zippo and proceeded to squirt the liquid over the brush, over the girl. Ensuring the young woman was properly doused, Amy picked up the cigarette and took one final drag from it before flicking it towards the lifeless Wendy. The flames erupted in the shrubbery first and eventually licking at the back of Wendy's blouse, catching her hair, every part covered with the lighter fluid catching quickly. Wendy made a noise, moving weakly as the flames grew hotter, more fierce. Amy stared at her with wide eyes, a feral smile spreading across her face as the teenager started to weakly move, soft cries escaping from her as the flames burned hotter and hotter. Amy turned to the girl’s backpack, which she’d tossed aside. Within the bag, she located a make up bag and within that, a small compact. Grinning, she inched towards the burning teenager, kneeling down to the girl’s face, now twisted in silent agony. “Ugly on the inside an' now ugly on the outside,” she hissed, holding the open compact so the girl could see herself.

It took hours for the girl to burn. Amy sat in the dirt and watched with mild fascination, randomly thinking of barbecue when the stench of the girl's burning flesh hit her nose. From her book bag, her cell phone started chiming. Texts or messages from her parents, no doubt. Wondering where she had gone off to. A check of the time told her she normally would be just reaching home. She responded to the texts quickly, letting Mum know she’d stayed after to play on the playground with one of her mates and she would be home before dark. This meant she would need to hurry because there would be a good chance they’d send Alec or even her Dad himself to fetch her. She needed to get back onto the main path and on her way. Wiping down the compact, she shoved it back into the bag and slipped out of the brush, cautiously looking around before chucking the bag into the marsh across from her, watching as it sunk down into the mud and disappeared from view. Even if the sun dried up most of the marsh, she was pretty sure the mud would merely harden and simply encase Wendy’s bike and backpack like a tomb. All the better, she reasoned.

Wendy's body lay smoldering finally, the brush and dead limbs reduced to ash over the blackened and shriveled form. Hands clawed, lips gone and teeth exposed, back arched. From a spot just behind the tree she had been resting at, a shallow hole had been dug, the shovel still there. There were still steps to be taken before she could get herself back onto the footpath. She pulled a water bottle from her bag and doused down the smoldering body, focusing on the shoulders and arms. A small puddle near by allowed her to refill it and douse the body down some more. When she went to grab at Wendy’s shriveled arm, a noise escaped the body and Amy nearly jumped out of her skin, falling backwards and staring at the blackened figure in the dirt. No way was this girl still alive. Not after that. Crawling towards her cautiously, she examining the blistered and partially blackened face, scuttling back with a squeak when one of the eyes flicked towards her, a weird raspy noise coming from the mouth. Holy shit, she really was still alive! No way, _no freaking way_ was this possible. Amy took a few deep breaths and reached towards the shriveled arm again. She could feel the body's heat through her knit gloves, her skin starting to scream against the feeling as she tugged the girls’ burnt body out of the clearing and a little deeper into the woods, almost falling into the make-shift grave herself.

Wendy's body was rolled in and Amy started the daunting task of filling the hole back in. It wasn't very deep, the girl maybe only a foot or two beneath the ground's surface, but it would suffice. When all that remained was covering the dead girl's head, Amy shed her soiled clothing and dropped them in, peeling the knit gloves from her hands and dropping those in as well. She could hear the girl moaning from the small grave. Still alive after all of this? She shoved the more curious thoughts aside as she went about finishing up. Naked save for her little panties with the heart shapes, she moved about the clearing and smoothed dirt around, dusting away excess ash, covering random bloodstains and whatever else she felt could possibly lead anyone to the area in search of the young woman. Weeks of planning and preparation also led her to be more keen on a lot of the crime shows her parents fancied. She found it was easy to learn quite a bit while watching those. So, as she had started the task of stashing the tools needed for her plan, a bottle of bleach had been added to the clean up list and had been tucked safely away, half buried in a rabbit burrow. Unearthing the bottle of bleach, she uncapped it and made a face. The smell was atrocious. Holding her breath, she splashed the bleach around the clearing and even up on the path. Any genetic trace of the girl would be eradicated as well as her own. Possibly even make it so dogs couldn't pick up any scents. And for good measure, she even poured the remaining bleach onto the grave and its surrounding areas. With the bottle empty, she placed it into the part of the grave she’d left uncovered and pushed the rest of the dirt over it and did a quick sweep through with another branch in an effort to disguise the area and get rid of any further possible evidence. She wasn’t too concerned with them finding Wendy, necessarily, she just mainly wanted to make sure that if the girl’s body was indeed found, they couldn’t trace it back to her or her family. The beef between her and Alec alone would already have the local authorities asking them questions about her disappearance.

Giving the clearing and burn area one last look over, she smiled to herself as she pulled her school uniform out and dressed herself, grabbing the tools she’d borrowed and shoving them back into the backpack. Slipping out of the darkened and cavernous brush, she was momentarily blinded by the sunshine, forgetting that it was been a clear sunny day with blue skies. She cast one last look at the brush, realizing just how hard it would be for anyone to know what had happened in there. There was no sign of the bike or the backback in the marsh and the bleach on the pathway was already drying up from the heat. Good deal. She pondered over taking the pathway to the fork in the path but opted instead to dart through the wood and back to the main path. It back-tracked her a little but she wanted to be sure she was on the main path if Alec or one of her parents came looking for her. The last thing she needed was someone seeing her come from the path that led to Wendy’s home. Upon reaching the main path, she cast a cautious look around before starting a brisk walk back towards the fork in the path. She took the left side of the fork and eventually was deposited onto the narrow road that belonged to her neighborhood. Houses were sparse and this also meant traffic was pretty minimal. In the distance, she spotted Alec standing outside the gravel drive, staring at her as she huffed her way up the road to home finally. “Where the bloody hell have you been, Amy?” he demanded. “Your lil’ club ended two hours ‘go!”

“Playin’ with m’ mates at the playground,” she shot back, rolling her eyes at him as she stalked up the drive towards the cottage. “Texted Mum ‘bout it.”

She heard him shuffle up the drive behind her. “Glad you got home when you did, Amy. Dad said no more goin’ on that footpath without them or me with you. Spotted some smoke out there earlier, looked like a brush fire of some kind. Probably from some of the idiots at my school messin’ ‘round. Dun’ need you crossin’ paths with them.”


	9. Definition of Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: ABLEISM, SLURS

The air around them just sagged under the disapproval of Trevor Richards. Numerous eyes were on him now and he cursed himself for being put in the position of Bad Guy. Even Laura was starting to ride the fence on the whole situation and this irritated him even more. They were supposed to be the voices of reason here. Hadn't they taught Nina better? It was nothing personal against the boy and his family, but between Nina's age and the current situation, surely someone would see his side! Alec had suffered a massive grand mal seizure while at his parents’ home less than two months ago. Alec hadn’t woken up and was currently in a special coma ward. The family had celebrated his twenty-fourth birthday at the hospital with balloons and a cake the lad couldn’t even eat. They were facing the very real possibility that he’d never wake up from the coma and even if he did, would probably be a vegetable. That was no life for Nina. The situation was tragic, yes, but surely they all knew this was going to happen sooner or later! Alec’s limitations had been significant and the seizures varied in severity. Trevor had hoped that maybe upon realizing the severity and level of care the Niccals boy needed in the wake of the seizures, Nina might reconsider being involved with him. It only seemed to encourage her further. She took special classes. She got herself well versed on how to handle the seizures and whatever aftercare Alec might need. Given the best life and the best education Trevor could afford and then wanting to be nothing more than a nursemaid to her sick partner.

He hated thinking about what this bombshell meant. The idea that the two had been intimate had been the farthest thing from Trevor’s mind. For obvious reasons, he didn’t want to think about that. He honestly didn’t even know if the boy had been capable. Well, clearly the boy had been more than capable. Nina was pregnant. Trevor got even more irritated when it was revealed by Nina that she’d suspected she was days before Alec had been hospitalized but had not yet told anyone. So here she was, pregnant, the father incapable of being involved and everyone was encouraging her to _keep it_? Was everyone else mental? The boy's parents saw this new situation as a silver lining. It was obvious they cared for Nina, having now known her for almost six years, but how could they expect her to even entertain the idea of keeping it when she hadn't even had a chance to really get out in the world? “You're only twenty three, Nina,” he said finally, shaking his head and refusing to meet the multiple pairs of eyes staring at him from across the kitchen table. “There's plenty of time for that...”

Nina frowned, staring up at him with steely eyes. “This is why I didn't want t' tell you, Daddy,” she said in a firm voice. “I knew you'd try t' convince me 'gainst keepin' it.” She was seated at the kitchen table, flanked by Murdoc and Hailey, the two forming a protective circle around Nina. She dropped her gaze to the table a moment before slowly meeting his gaze. “Nothin’ you say or do is gonna convince me otherwise.”

“I'm only asking that you really think 'bout this, Nina,” he said as firmly as he could. “You’re young. You have your whole life ‘head of you t’ do this. An’ you want t’ throw it all ‘way t’ be a single Mum? You dun’ even know if Alec will wake up or if he would even be the same ‘gain if he does. That’s no life for a baby. That’s no life for you.”

“She has thought about this, Trevor,” Hailey cut in, her expression mostly unreadable. “She wants this more than anything.”

“She'll basically be a single mother,” Trevor said sharply, flicking his eyes to Hailey, who was seated besides Nina in one of the kitchen chairs. “Not like Alec is here t’ help her out! An’ even if he was, how much help could he have been?”

He could feel Murdoc now glaring at him. Trevor initially had done a double take when he’d showed up at the cottage. He and Murdoc hadn’t seen each other face to face in years and Trevor had been a little stunned at how much the man had aged. How old would he be now? Late sixties? Pushing seventy? He had nearly two decades on Trevor. When Murdoc made a noise in his chest, Trevor was certain the man would start shooting off his mouth, but instead he merely lit a cigarette and leaned back to open up the kitchen window, finally returning his focus to Trevor. “ _Still_ takin’ pot shots at m’ boy when he’s not even here t’ defend himself? Super classy, Trev, _super fuckin’ classy_.” His heavily lined face folded into a deep frown as he rested a hand on Nina’s shoulder. “You act as if she'd be doin' it on her own, Trev. We've a'ready agreed t' help her as long as she wants our help. Hailey’s lookin’ in t’ contractors to remodel the basement in t’ an apartment for her.”

“She’s not thinkin’ clearly, Murdoc, an’ you know this!” Trevor matched glares with the wiry little man who hovered protectively over Nina. “So you would just sit there an’ let your kids throw their education ‘way like this? Over somethin’ that will drag them down an’ ruin their lives? Alec isn’t wakin’ up an’ she needs t’ quit entertaining the idea that he will. Alec will most likely die on that hospital bed an’ never even know what his carelessness produced. Nina needs t’ get her head straight. Get rid of it. Move on. Get back in t’ the social circles an’ start considerin’ lookin’ for someone she can properly settle down with.”

Nina shook her head, her cheeks flaring a brilliant pink. Tears were falling but the look on her face was pure fury, glaring daggers at Trevor from across the table. “But Alec _isn’t_ dead. His side of the bed isn’t even cold yet an' you have the audacity t' bring up how I'm goin' t' date?”

Trevor's face twisted, a noise of disgust erupting from him. “You were livin' together?” he demanded hotly. “After ever'thin' we went over, Nina.....We warned you that this was somethin' t' be prepared for an' now look where your carelessness has gotten you! Alec was severely disabled. He would have been useless an’ incapable of helpin’ you. What kind of life would that kid have, knowin’ his father couldn’t do even the most minimal of tasks?” He could feel Laura staring at him now, probably mentally screaming at him to shut his mouth. But the only way these people would get it through their heads was if reality crashed in. Nina couldn’t keep this thing because it would ruin her life. Even if Alec woke up today and was no different than before, Nina and Nina alone would be the one responsible for taking care of the baby, and this would be on top of caring for Alec. There was no way Alec could even do so much as change a nappy without accidentally hurting the thing. Did she consider the risks of Alec having a seizure while holding the baby? Falling on the baby? Sure, she thinks it’s going to be a cake walk with the support system she currently has, but that support system would only last so long. Nina would be completely solo in this. Given what Trevor overheard through the grapevine, he honestly didn’t think Alec would ever wake up. He didn’t know the finer details, but had heard that it was bad. There’d been mention of CPR and even a flatline scare on the way to hospital. The boy might as well be dead. If he woke up – _and this was a big fucking_ _if –_ he would never be the same. He could end up wheelchair bound and needing around the clock care. Hell, he might not even remember Nina and refuse to acknowledge the child. “Look,” he said finally, taking a deep breath, “I know you loved Alec. An’ I know his family loves you. But you need t’ be realistic ‘bout this. The boy damned near died on the way t’ hospital. If he comes out of this, he will never ever be the same. He might be a vegetable. He might not even remember you, love. You dun’ know what the seizure did t’ his brain.”

“I’m not gonna act on a bunch of _what ifs_ ,” she whispered defiantly. “What I am gonna do is be here when he does open his eyes. An’ nothin’ you say or do is gonna make me reconsider keeping the baby. This is his child. This is their grandchild. This is my child. Your grandchild. They will be loved. An’ if Alec wakes up an’ doesn’t remember an’thin’, well I reckon I can cross that bridge when we get there. Not gonna worry myself over thins’ that haven’t happened yet.”

Murdoc leaned across the table, jabbing a long finger at the air towards him as he spoke through gritted teeth. “You got some balls comin’ in t’ my home an’ insultin’ her an’ Alec like this, Trev. She’s a bloody adult who can make her own choices, not some defiant fifteen year old.” Of course they’d side with her. Emotions made people do stupid things. The boy’s parents probably knew full and well that Alec would never wake up and saw the pregnancy as some extension of their son. It was the only logical thing Trevor could think of. Emotions were still raw. They were all essentially grieving. But Nina needed to use her head. She was already approximately two months along. The longer she put this off, the more difficult it would be to be able to terminate.

Trevor frowned as he leaned back into the chair. As long as she remained within the circle of Alec’s family, she might never see reason. But she was also an adult and he couldn’t have the local police escort her out of the home against her will. The only way he might be able to break through to her was if he was able to get her back home where she belonged. Another thought crossed his mind, something that might be a good compromise. Alec’s parents were completely supportive of her continuing the pregnancy and having the baby. It was highly likely they were seeing the baby as an extension of their son. Nina was young enough. Her body would bounce back. Give it up to them and walk away. Nobody would ever have to know she'd had a kid. “Why not just sign custody over t’ Murdoc and Hailey then?” he suggested abruptly. “This would allow you t’ move on an’ they would get an extension of their son. Ever’one wins.”

“No,” Nina hissed defiantly, shaking her head.

“They’ll take good care of it, Nina. Look how good they were in takin’ care of Alec an’ he was crippled. It will be like havin’ their boy without his limitations.”

"TREVOR!" barked Laura.

“Alec _was not_ a fuckin’ cripple!” Murdoc spat, now glaring at Trevor. “Use the word _cripple_ an’ _Alec_ in the same sentence ‘gain, you fuckin’ muppet, an’ I swear on Satan himself I will not hesitate t’ throttle you.” He took a deep breath, planting his hands on the table and staring downward. This was certainly an interesting thing to see. Murdoc was obviously very sensitive to the words used when it came to Alec. Trevor had never seen Murdoc come this close to blowing. Nerves had been struck and the stress of the situation probably was fueling this more than anything. He took a few deep breaths before slowly looking across the table at Trevor, his voice coming out steady and even. “If Nina wishes t’ do that, then we will go from there, but right now she has no desire to terminate or give the baby up. This is her decision, Trevor. Her decision ‘lone. We told her we will support whatever decision she makes. The least you can do is give her the same respect, mate. I know she’s young an’ I know you want what’s best for her, but ridin’ her back over what _you_ think she should do isn’t right.”

“Murdoc,” Trevor said in a low voice, “I know you an’ Hailey also want what’s best for both kids. But they’re young. They were just startin’ their lives out. Surely you know where I’m comin’ from, man. From one father t’ ‘nother...you know deep down in your heart that this is the last thin’ our kids need.” When his words were met with stony silence and dark eyes boring down into him from behind the wire framed glasses, he swallowed the lump in his throat and took a breath. “Alec needed ‘round the clock care an’ when he wakes, there is a good chance he will need ‘round the clock care for the rest of his life, an’ that’s if he’s even minimally ‘ware of you an’ his surroundins’. You can’t throw a baby in t’ this an’ think it will all go smoothly. He may never accept it an’ come t’ resent you for forcin’ it on t’ him.”

Murdoc’s hardened expression didn’t waver. Another long and unnerving silence passed between them all as the old man took a few deep breaths, exhaling loudly as he claimed the chair next to Nina and sat himself down. “You’re a shrewd businessman, Trev. I dealt with slags like you for decades an’ I know the game when I see it. You’re tryin’ t’ appeal t’ m’ better nature as a parent but your words dun’ have the right tone needed in order to convey it. It’s nothin’ more than an act. An act I’ve seen time an’ time ‘gain through my life. Maybe, for once in your pathetically borin’ an’ tasteless life, try t’ actually _be_ a father an’ not some suit who’s bent outa shape ‘cause his investment isn’t payin’ off.” When Trevor opened his mouth to object, Murdoc raised a hand up and gestured for silence. “I’m not done, man, let me finish. You paid for the best schools an’ the best of ever’thin’ for her b’cause that was what _you_ wanted. Not once did you ever ask what _she_ wanted. It was all ‘bout the investment. What she _should be_ with all these privileges. Her desires an’ wants were never considered. An’ now you’re realizin’ that she’s a person with her own thoughts an’ wishes an’ not your paid-for carbon copy. You can’t handle that, so you hope t’ break her down an’ make her question herself.”

“That’s not true!” Trevor barked, shaking his head. “I want what’s best for her, the same as you!” He hated the sting of those words. Though Murdoc had spoken calmly and steadily, the words still hit hard and his mind reeled in how to counter-argue the allegations. Of course he loved Nina! This was his daughter, for Christ’s sake! He’d done what he’d done because he wanted to make sure she was successful in life. It had all been for her benefit. She’d been given the best of everything and he just didn’t want to see her throw it all away to be a single Mum and possible nursemaid to a disabled partner. “I just don’t want t’ see her throw it all ‘way b’cause she got weighed down with a kid before she was ready.”

Nina's own rising frustration finally crested, her expression growing dark as she slowly got to her feet and glared at her Trevor. “I've made my decision. If you have nothin' positive t' contribute, I'm gonna ask you an' Mum t' leave.”

Laura shook her head, flashing looks up at Trevor and then glancing across the table at Nina. “Let’s take some time an’ absorb all that’s happened. We are all on edge right now an’ the last thin’ any of us need is gettin’ upset at each other. We dun’ see eye t’ eye on this but we’re gonna have t’ learn t’ do so if we want t’ be able t’ have further discussion ‘bout this.” She was caving, he could see it a mile away. She didn’t want to lose Nina over this. He understood this, but how else was Nina going to see reason? He thought about interjecting further, but the look Laura gave him made him clamp his mouth shut. She flashed a sympathetic smile across the table, slowly rising to her feet from the chair. “Let’s discuss this further in a week or two.”

Nina got to her feet, shaking her head. “There will be no further discussion on this, Mum. I’ve made my wishes plain. Please respect that.”

Trevor wanted desperately to keep talking, to keep pounding in the point that the kids were making a terrible mistake and Nina’s life would be destroyed. But Laura was tugging him away from the table and towards the foyer where their jackets hung. Why were they allowing Nina to call the shots? She was too young to know what she wanted. He’d turn to speak but words died on his lips when all he was met with was several pairs of angry eyes. Eyes that looked at him as if he were an alien being and unwanted in their home. He and Murdoc had never gotten along and everyone knew this. His reservations over Alec’s capabilities had always struck a chord with the boy’s father. They’d rarely spoken to one another in the six years Nina and Alec had been involved and hadn’t seen each other face to face since that disastrous dinner shortly after the kids had started dating. He’d wrongly assumed Alec was as crass as his father and while Alec had proven that he was nothing at all like his father, Trevor still refused to accept that Nina and the boy had become serious. All he could see was the trembling hands and the odd shuffling walk with the cane. All he could see was that dull and blind left eye. All he could see was a frail and weak young man who was on borrowed time. He hated the jokes his colleagues had made about the situation. Prim and proper Trevor Richards’ daughter dating a disabled man. Trevor Richards’ daughter tossed everything he’d given her back in his face in favor of a man who would never be self sufficient. Though Alec had grown up with the same privileges as Nina, his parents weren’t concerned with him being successful. Blinded by idealistic fantasies of just wanting the boy to be happy with his life.

Laura had managed to drag him out the door and to the car. She had tears in her eyes and was now glaring at him from across the roof of the car. “You just had t’ put your foot in t’ your mouth, didn’t you?” she snapped as she reefed open the passenger door. “I know you dislike Alec an’ his family, but the least you could’ve done was not take cheap shots at the young man like you did.”

Trevor grumbled under his breath as he dropped down into the drivers seat, starting the car. “Dun’ tell me you’re sidin’ with them now! You know as well as I do that Nina is makin’ a huge mistake an’ they keep encouragin’ her! Alec was severely disabled, Laura. He could barely operate a soup spoon. An’ you think he would’ve been fit ‘nough t’ help her raise a baby?” Still grumbling, he threw the car into gear and backed out of the drive and onto the narrow private road. “He’s clearly not capable now, is he? He’s layin’ in a hospital an’ that’s where he will most likely remain until he dies.”

Laura glared at him from her seat, almost seething as she spoke. “So you decided that Nina needs t’ just get over it an’ move on? They were together for six years, Trevor, not six months!”

“They’re just kids, Laura,” he spat. “It’s not that deep.”

“Holy hell, you are an arsehole,” she hissed back. “We dated for less time than they did before even marryin’. How the hell can you sit there an’ say their relationship wasn’t that deep? They took holidays t’gether. They were practically livin’ t’gether...” Of course she’d bring up their own brief courtship and marriage. But there was a keen difference in this. They’d met after graduating Uni and had already gotten their careers off the ground. They’d been introduced via the same social circles. They were mature and ready for the next steps. Alec and Nina had not been remotely close. They’d met at eighteen and dated all through Uni and a few years beyond. Nina had not even yet gotten her career off the ground. Comparing them to the kids was apples and oranges!

“Like I said, just kids.” He kept his eyes on the road, refusing to meet Laura’s venomous gaze. Why the hell did he have to be the voice of reason every single damned time? Nina shouldn’t be tethering herself to a young man who would never be self sufficient. Yes, Alec was a good lad but his limitations hindered him significantly and Nina, by extension. “He will only hold her back an’ you know this, Laura. We raised her better than this. She shouldn’t be satisfied with being a babysitter and nursemaid to a man who will never ‘mount t’ an’thin’.”

“An’ if she is successful? What then?” Laura whispered icily. “You dun’ know whether or not Alec will do well or not. To even suggest he’d ‘mount t’ nothin’...”

Trevor cast her a side glance, feeling his aggravation rise. “If someone like him walked in t’ one of the firms in the city, would you even consider givin’ him a chance? He could barely write. He couldn’t drive. The only thin’ savin’ him from bein’ a drain on society was his parents footin’ his bill t’ live.” He sighed with relief when Laura turned her attention to the window. She could be upset with him all she wanted, this was not something he was going to relent on. Nina needed to see reason. He wasn’t about to throw away the money they’d invested into her education and everything else they’d provided for her. He was willing to give it time and hope she opened her eyes to what was going on. Eventually she would realize he was right and come crawling back. But she would not be bringing that child with her when she did.

******************************

It seemed like an eternity passed before Trevor and Laura finally left the Niccals home. Murdoc watched through the window as their sleek and pricey wheels backed out of the drive and finally drove down the road and out of sight. Why was it that Trevor always got on his last good nerve? Such a fucking killjoy. The man wouldn’t know fun if it bit him in the arse. Wonder how the old fart would handle it if it was revealed that Alec and Nina had been _trying_ to get knocked up? Stupid old fart would probably stroke out. Reason said he shouldn’t be too hard on the uptight fool because even both Hailey and Murdoc had been apprehensive over Alec rushing the whole family thing. Though both acknowledged he was a grown man who could make his own decisions, it didn’t change the fact that he did have significant disabilities and there would always be a risk that one big grand mal seizure could be his last. Alec had talked with Murdoc at length about it maybe six months ago but had sworn him to secrecy. Murdoc wasn’t even supposed to say anything to Hailey but he’d gone on to tell her anyway. She’d promised not to say anything to Alec and had been good to her word. She’d never mentioned it until Alec himself had finally brought it up with her when he and Nina had been over for Hailey’s birthday back in April. He’d taken both his parents aside and asked about rings and his plan to propose to Nina during their August holiday in Spain. So much for that now, eh? He never did bother to ask if Nina had canceled the trip. She was a sensible young woman, so there was a good chance she’d done just that. He wasn’t about to bring up what was still a sensitive thing for them all by asking if she got the refund on the trip she’d planned to take with Alec.

He took a step back from the window, casting a look back to the kitchen. The silence that followed seemed to stretch on forever, all of them now exchanging nervous looks. Why did everyone look like they’d been caught red-handed at the cookie jar? They hadn’t done anything wrong. Christ, was Trevor just that much of a wet blanket that his disapproval could still be felt even after his presence had left? “I think that went rather well, dun' you lot?” he chuckled as he lit another cigarette.

“Exceptionally well,” Nina said as she wiped at her eyes. “Thank you for havin’ my back. Dunno what I woulda done if I had t’ face that ‘lone.”

“You’re not alone,” Hailey assured her, giving her shoulder a squeeze. “We’re always gonna be here for you, Nina. Hopefully your parents will realize you’ve got this under control. You’re stronger than they think.”

“I hope so too,” she whispered, smiling at them. “My Dad won’t walk ‘way from this, though. He’ll be determined t’ prove he was right. Dun’ be too surprised if he shows up with the white wagon an’ a straight-jacket claimin’ I’m mentally unstable.” Though she smiled, he could see a touch of worry there. He had to remind himself that she had grown up in a strict and rigid environment where the kids did whatever the parents wanted. Didn’t matter if you were ten or twenty, if your parents demanded you did A, B or C, you had better do it. That was no life to live. Murdoc liked the spontaneity of casual family life. He was retired now, for fuck’s sake. He wasn’t about to stress out what should be his golden years by being an anal retentive cunt to his family. He already had the lion’s share of bullshit and drama when it came to Amy, but Alec had always been a good kid and it was right shit that he was laying on a cot hooked up to machines just to keep him alive. At least Alec had Nina. Willing to remain by his side even with things being so uncertain. Nina had become just as much one of their kids as his flesh and blood children. Murdoc loved the girl. She was quick and could shoot some zingers of her own. Perfectly prim and proper in the face of her own parents but a regular heathen when with Alec’s family. She fit right in. Alec could never take a joke and any sex references had him reeling in disgust but Nina could throw it right back. She fit in so fucking well, Murdoc actually had hoped Alec _would_ marry this girl. That said a lot considering at the time, they’d only been dating a few months at the most.

Christ, Trevor was such an uptight arsehole. The disgust on his face when Nina had told him she was pregnant. He didn’t even need to speak, his expression had said it all. Precious daughter sullied by the disabled boy, as if they hadn’t been bumping uglies for the past six fucking years. That was the other thing that irritated him about the muppet. The git was under the impression that Alec was dead at the waist. Sure, nobody wanted to _know_ their kids were having sex, but at least be realistic about it. It was actually a bit insulting that Trevor seemed to think Alec was incapable. Neither Murdoc or Hailey were stupid, they knew both kids had been active. Granted, Trevor didn’t accidentally walk in on them at Alec’s flat either. Murdoc had unfortunately discovered that Alec was well beyond capable in a lot of arenas. He should’ve been proud of his boy, but honestly he’d found the situation to be a bit more uncomfortable than he’d ever imagined. It was one thing to disrupt them in a fogged up car and have a chuckle, another thing to walk in and find Nina bent over the kitchen table with Alec going for the gold.

After that, Murdoc made sure to call first before showing up.

He frowned, feeling the sting of fresh tears. He wasn’t about to break down again. It was nice to think about things that made him smile, but it also made him painfully aware of the fact that Alec wasn’t here and Amy had become something else entirely. It made him take pause and wonder if he’d done the right thing when it had come to Amy. He didn’t want to think about this but part of him felt he had to. At least sort out all the little things that had led to this. He shook his head, more to himself than anyone, shoving all the strange and negative thoughts into the back recesses of his mind. He wasn’t going to get himself worked up. Alec was alive and would wake up eventually. He didn’t know when but he felt confident that it would happen. As for Amy, he’d have to face that eventually but right now was just not the time. He had not yet said anything to Hailey about it. He couldn’t. That was a can of worms better left unopened at the moment. Let Hailey continue to believe that Amy had left in the wake of an argument and was simply being a tart. Revealing what had really led up to it all was too much for him to process, let alone make any sense of.

Hailey eventually started moving some dishes to the sink and then went about getting some things from the pantry and icebox in an effort to figure out what to make for lunch. He was okay with this. Food sounded good. His stomach quaked and he was the farthest thing from hungry, but it might help put him more at ease. Nina had disappeared upstairs to Alec’s bedroom to take a nap and the silence of the house felt enormous. So fucking quiet. Why was it so quiet? Having Nina here was nice, but she often went back to her flat in the city since they’d canceled the lease on Alec’s flat a few weeks ago. It was ungodly quiet. He lit another cigarette and paced around the lounge, his gaze falling to the sofa. He could still see the stains from where Alec had vomited. They were faint now due to him or Hailey cleaning it up. Now little more than small discolorations on the fabric. Faint and barely noticeable to everyone else, but might as well been bright as a beacon to his eyes. Alec had struggled there. Alec had almost died there.

Tearing his eyes from the sofa, he grabbed his cigarettes and lighter and ventured out the French doors to the back yard, taking in the warm air. Things had taken such a weird turn that he wasn’t sure what to do. His son lay in a coma. His daughter was Satan-knows-where. His son’s partner was pregnant. And Nina’s parents were against her moving forward with the pregnancy or keeping it. He knew Trevor and Laura’s disapproval had struck a chord with Nina, even if she already knew what their reaction would be. They’d been against her and Alec dating since the moment they’d met so it was no surprise at all that they’d try to convince her to terminate or sign over custody to him and Hailey. He never understood parents who operated like the Richards. Where did they get off thinking they had any say or control over their grown children? Kind of reminded him of his own father, who had tried to beat and bully his older brother to stay at the flat and give him rent money when Han finally had decided to move out. Murdoc himself had left at fifteen, preferring life on the streets over that disgusting flat his father barely maintained. It was part of the reason he’d had no qualms about all the kids staying at the house. Unlike his own childhood home, he wanted to make sure the kids all had a safe place. Doors were always open.

Nina’s father was one who expected to get his way. Murdoc could relate to this, but also knew that kids were stubborn buggers. The harder you push, the harder they push back. Trevor might try to manipulate Nina to do what he wanted the only way he knew how – close the purse strings. Her flat was paid for by them. If they canceled the lease and made her feel like she had nowhere else to go, they could easily manipulate her into doing what they wanted. Well, good luck with trying to force her hand. Murdoc and Hailey had cleared out the basement several years back and it was now simply a finished room under the house. Maybe it would be wise to get started on the basement remodel and just have Nina stay in Alec’s room until it was finished? This way she wouldn’t have to face the drama of her parents, wouldn’t get put on the spot with them cutting her off financially and in the event Alec came around, she would be able to go with them to the hospital. A small smile played on his mouth as he darted back into the lounge, startling Hailey when he appeared at her back. “Hey, Poppet...do you have the numbers for the contractors we were checkin’ in t’?”

“On the mini-bar,” she said, taking a breath. “Thinking of getting a head start on that? I was just thinking the same thing.” See, this was what he liked about Hailey. It was like some kind of hive-mind. Or perhaps just simply from being in the house together for so many years. She frowned a moment, grabbing a chair at the table so she could sit down. “I’m taking Nina back to her flat later so she can get what she can before her parents try to cancel the lease and have it cleared out. Looks like she’s gonna be staying with us for a while.”

*****************************

Nina relaxed in the lawn chair, staring out at the dark and star-filled sky. Lost in her own thoughts over what had taken place earlier in the day. She knew her parents would not take the news well and she knew they’d try to convince her to abort or give up custody. She had hoped that maybe if they’d seen the support system she had, they might be less willing to be such twats about it, but it seemed to only encourage them further. Well, maybe not her Mum, but her Dad just went gung ho into twat-ville and wasn’t aware he’d reached the city limits. She assumed part of her father’s refusal to accept the pregnancy had to do with his dislike of Alec’s father. He didn’t really like Alec either, but his dislike of Alec had more to do with the man’s physical limitations while his dislike of Murdoc stemmed from the fact that Murdoc was crass and not as articulate at Trevor. Even though both families were damned near equal when it came to their bank accounts, Trevor still saw Alec’s parents as poor degenerates who’d simply gotten lucky. New money who would never conform to the high end society that Trevor and Laura had been born into, just like numerous generations before them.

Nina had picked up on their snobbish behavior years before she’d met Alec and though she’d put up with her father’s constant push to do this or do that and leaving her little social life, she’d sworn to herself that she would break out of that cycle one way or another. Instead of going to the private Uni that had taken in generations of Richards through the centuries, she’s pushed to go to the public Uni. Trevor hadn’t been happy with this, but relented when Nina pointed out that many of the classes the public Uni offered were no different than the classes offered at the private one and once she had a degree, employers wouldn’t care where it came from as long as she’d obtained a good grade point average and graduated at the top of her class. She hadn’t been sure if this was true or not, but her Dad bought it and she’d been able to attend the public university. First day going over classes and clubs, she’d met Alec and things had hit off from there.

It was a shame her parents were so against the pregnancy. Also a bit insulting that even after being seriously involved with Alec nearly six years, they still saw their relationship as nothing more than childish puppy love. Refusing to see Alec beyond the trembling hands, the blind left eye and the weak, shuffling step. Always upbeat and offering a smile, accepting of the weak body life had handed him. Able to let Trevor’s below the belt jabs roll off his back. She sighed, feeling the familiar burn of tears again, blinking them back when she heard Murdoc’s step on the tiled patio. “Hi,” she whispered meekly, wiping at her eyes. “Didn’t hear you.”

Murdoc flashed a sad smile as he pulled over an extra chair and dropped into it. “You a'right?” he asked, peering over at her.

“I am,” she whispered, not really looking at him. “Just have a lot on me mind.” Probably understatement of the century. Thank god she was no longer in school. She could only imagine the leverage her father would try to wield if she’d still been a student. Her current employment wasn’t stellar, lower than what her father thought she deserved, but she enjoyed working at the market. Both her and Alec had worked there. She was head cashier and he had worked in shipping and receiving, handling shipments and stocking. They’d been kind enough to give her time off in the wake of Alec’s hospitalization and she hadn’t been back more than a month. Sighing, she looked over at Murdoc, who was preoccupied with flicking his zippo. “Wish Dad coulda handled it a lil’ better. A’ways shovin’ his fuckin’ foot in his mouth.”

“Not disagreein' on that, love,” he chuckled, finally lighting his cigarette.. “Do you think your Dad will warm up t' it at all?”

“Dunno,” she muttered. “Reckon all we can do is wait an’ see, yeah?”

He merely grunted and nodded his head. He looked aged and tired to her suddenly, something she’d never really noticed before. Silver hair, glasses perched on his mangled nose, dark brown eyes bleary. The whole situation with Alec had taken so much out of him. There was also the fact that she hadn’t seen Amy at all. Murdoc had given some vague explanation of her leaving after an argument but refused to elaborate further on it. Shouldn’t she be here as moral support? Should Nina ask about it? Hailey had mentioned it in the wake of Alec being admitted to hospital and something about the way Murdoc had explained it made Nina think he was dancing around it all. But she’d also picked up that asking about Amy might not be the best thing to do at the moment. He leaned back into the chair, the heavy sigh escaping from him saying more than any words could. “Trevor is a wanker,” he chuckled, cracking a toothy smile. “I know he’s your Dad an’ all, but he’s a pretentious fuck. Just thought you should know, love.”

“I’ve known that for years, Murdoc,” she laughed, returning her focus to the starry sky. “That won't change. I think he just worries ‘bout me but can’t articulate it in normal ways. Worried that I’ll struggle. Worried that I will fail. An’ it doesn’t help that Alec isn’t here....”

Murdoc’s jovial expression fell a bit and he slowly turned his head back to the trees and sky. A comfortable silence spread between them as he smoked his cigarette and stared out at the woods and the sky with her. She knew Murdoc had gotten a late start to the whole settling down thing, well into his forties when he’d met Hailey and retiring from the rock and roll life he’d loved for so many years. He wasn’t the first hard living rocker to cool his jets and settle down later in life, but she imagined it was probably a shock for him at times that his kids were now grown and another generation would be on its way in less than a year. Probably a lot to absorb at times. Hell, she’d probably freak out in his position, especially having his kid’s partner’s parents breaking his stones like her parents had done. Her Mum and Dad never bothered to give Murdoc a chance, just like they’d never given Alec a chance. Automatic dislike no matter what. Uptight and rigid, unwilling to let some of that guard down and get to know the Murdoc Niccals she’d come to know.

He’d made every effort to extend the olive branch with her parents and they always threw his kindness back in his face. Her Dad hated Murdoc’s quick tongue. Saw him as low class and tactless. Maybe he was tactless, but he sure as hell put Trevor in his place quick earlier. Never mind that her Dad kept running his mouth about their kid basically being defective and then trying the act of concerned parent which Murdoc called out calmly. There’d been no malice in his words, but they’d been meant to cut and had done just that. She slowly looked over at him, noting that his eyes appeared closed, almost as if he was dozing. “What're you thinkin' 'bout, Murdoc?” she asked abruptly.

His eyes snapped open, blinking as they took in the darkened world around them before finally rolling his head to look over at her. “Just tryin' t' wrap my brain 'round the fact that I'm gonna be a grand-dad,” he chuckled. “It means I'm officially old.”

“You're hardly old,” she snickered. “I dun' know too many sixty-nine year old men who can still play a guitar like you do...” Still smiling, she raised one of her small hands, flexing at her fingers. “Most can't even move their fingers.”

“Yeah?” He cracked a crooked smile, stubbing out his cigarette. “Well, dun' get me wrong, Nina, there are days I wish I had pulled my head outa me arse sooner than I did. Be thankful you're startin' out so young. I was forty-five when we had Alec. Old 'nough t' be his grand-dad then.”

“He told me he was an accident.” She paused when his smile vanished and wondered if maybe Alec had been pulling her leg. Alec may have been pretty mild but he did have a weird sense of humor. “Was he an accident?”

“He was.” Murdoc sat upright and stretched his arms a bit before relaxing back into the chair. “How much did he tell you?”

“That you an’ Hailey started as a hook-up,” she said, thankful that it was too dark to clearly see her face and see she was blushing. “He never really elaborated beyond that. Just that he was an accident an’ it probably happened when you two were hookin’ up.”

A snorting laugh erupted from him as he lit another cigarette. “He loved breakin’ our balls ‘bout that. We never hid that from him. We got careless one night an’ next thin’ we know, there he was.”

“You met Hailey in the states, yeah? While you were tourin’ with Gorillaz?”

He nodded his head slowly, relaxing his frame into the chair, head back against the cushions. “It was meant t' be a short fling, nothin' more. Four days, maybe five.” He frowned, staring at the burning cigarette between his fingers. “Didn’t even want him at first. We were both freaked out ‘bout it.”

“I don't understand,” she whispered, now looking at him quizzically. “If it was just a fling, how did you find out 'bout Alec? You woulda been gone by the time she found out....”

“Through a series of mis-haps, she ended up comin' back with me an' the others.” His gaze suddenly became distant, his eyes on the trees but staring beyond them. “What happened that led t' her comin' back isn't important, but she ended up comin' back with us all the same.”

“You weren't prepared for that, were you?” she asked in a soft voice.

“Neither of us were. Sad t' say, but there I was, forty-somethin' years old an' I wasn't ready t' grow up one bit. Lived my entire life avoidin' any kind of responsibility. Hailey too, for the most part.”

“You must have had somethin' special between you two t' stick together for so long, especially given the circumstances....”

“Wasn't all ponies an' rainbows, lovey,” he chuckled. “I reckon we've come quite a long ways from the people we once were.....A lot of people are shocked we're still together after all this time, really. We had our reasons. Considerin' how craptastic our childhoods were....Alec gave us the chance t' fix what had a'most been broken.”

Nina smiled, leaning back into her chair. However it had started, look at what it had become. Even if they had started with no feelings towards one another, their affections were beyond obvious now. Look at how they lived their lives, look at how loved Alec and Amy were. This family had been thrown together by coincidence and circumstances almost out of their control. Not given the chance to get to known one another thoroughly and maybe that had been the magic of it. They had to work at things to get through them. They had to hash it out and find that middle ground. The bond stronger than any couple or family Nina had encountered, her own included. It was weird thinking about it all. Hailey's and Murdoc's beginnings were so much different than hers and Alec's. But it had been these beginnings that had made Alec the man he was. Gave him the life perspectives that he had. Drawn to her just as Murdoc had initially been drawn to Hailey, only the intentions vastly different. And just as Hailey had been drawn into Murdoc's flamboyant charm, Nina had been drawn to Alec's more subtle charm and humor. The handsome young man who had no illusions about himself. Who could make cracks at his own expense.

Murdoc cast her a sideways glance, seeing her distant expression. “My turn t' ask....Whatchya thinkin' 'bout, love?”

“Thinkin' 'bout how lucky I am that I had found Alec an' in doin' so, found you an’ Hailey an’ even Amy. In all honesty, Murdoc, I think you lot are the true definition of family.”

The smile on his face faltered briefly but he recovered quickly, cracking a broad and toothy smile that looked almost forced to her. “An' you're one of us now. Run while you still can.”


	10. Sympathy For The Devil

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: RELIGIOUS DISCUSSION

“Why dun' you believe in God?” Alec asked, staring at Hailey from across the kitchen table. Hailey froze, the bite of chicken on her fork lingering just inches from her mouth. Her gaze shifted over to Murdoc, who was dodging pieces of food as he tried to get Amy to eat. He perked his head up with a grunt, looking over at the two of them with raised eyebrows. She wasn’t sure where this question came from. Natural curiosity? They’d never bothered with the whole religion thing. Murdoc had his beliefs and she had hers and their beliefs weren’t really that different in the grand scheme of it all. It all boiled down to simply _Don’t Be a Dick_. Amy hadn’t yet gotten that memo seeing that the three year old was not interested in eating her food and kept flinging pieces of chicken at Murdoc’s face. Shifting her attention back to the question at hand, she took the bite off the fork. “No reason to,” she said through the food with a shrug of her shoulders. “To quote my favorite book: _I know nothing of god, or the devil. I have never seen a vision nor learned a secret that would damn or save my soul_.”

Alec frowned, now looking over at Murdoc, whose attention was completely on his plate of food, most likely silently praying that the boy would pass him over. No such luck. Alec shoveled another bite of his pasta into his mouth, the words jumbled amidst the mouthful of food. “What 'bout you, Dad? You never really talk 'bout your beliefs too much.”

Murdoc's eyes surfaced from his meal, seeing Alec staring at him inquisitively, still chewing the enormous bite he had taken. He took his time chewing his own food, procrastinating. She could almost hear the gears in his head working as he tried to find a way around the discussion. Murdoc still claimed he was a Satanist, but hadn’t really given it much lip service in recent years. The inverted cross that had been so prominent in publicity photos in the early years of Gorillaz hung from a mirror more often then around his neck. Oh, he still read LaVey’s books now and again, but that was probably the extent of it nowadays. With Alec putting him on the spot, he had to think quick. “Err....Live fast, die young an' leave a good lookin' corpse.” Okay, not a terrible answer. But judging by the looks on Alec’s face, the response wasn’t enough.

“Can I ask where this all came from?” Hailey asked as she took another bite of her food. “Seems a bit out of the blue, ya know?”

Alec shrugged, shoveling another enormous bite into his mouth. “Was talkin' 'bout it with Pike an’ Tucker. Pike’s Mum takes him t' church an' stuff. Asked what religion we were.” He paused in the midst of chewing, glancing at both his parents. “I didn't know what t' tell him.”

“Non-denominational,” Hailey muttered, shoveling another bite of rigatoni into her mouth.

Murdoc snickered into his food. “Good save, woman.”

Alec furrowed his brow, staring at his mother. “Patty said God punished those who disobeyed. Said b’cause I was born when you guys weren’t married yet that I was gonna go t’ hell an’ God dun’ like people livin’ in sin or whatever. But Pike said God isn't like that. Said that Patty wasn’t a true believer of God if she felt she had t' believe outa fear of hell.” He paused through another bite, chewing quickly. “Patty called us heathens an’ said we were gonna go t’ hell. Then Pike told her that her church was doin’ it wrong. Said God dun’ care ‘bout none of that rubbish an’ as long as you’re a good person, that’s all that matters.”

Hailey wasn’t sure whether to find this interesting or concerning. She couldn’t imagine a gaggle of nine year olds having a theological discussion. “Well, I guess it depends on who you ask,” Hailey said, pushing her half eaten meal aside. “Some believe you must live your life exactly as the bible says or you’re going to hell and others, like Pike, just prefer to live and let live.” Seemed a simple enough answer. It wasn’t wrong, necessarily. She hadn’t met any hard-core holy rollers in years. Not since a random foster home she’d been placed in when she was around twelve or thirteen. When they hadn’t been preaching to her endlessly, they’d been beating her saying it was cleansing or some horse shit like that. They’d been psychotic zealots who believed she’d been placed with them because she was full of sin and needed it purged from her or whatever. The few brief months she’d lived with that family had given her more than her fill of religion. Plastic kids with plastic smiles who ratted each other out every chance they had. At least they’d been repulsed by her. It meant not having to worry about some slime ball sneaking into her room at night. Her thoughts were trailing. She blinked, looking over at Alec. “If there actually was a God, I’m sure he wouldn’t care what we do as long as we just try to be good people.”

“But Pike said that you have to believe, though,” Alec said, looking directly at Hailey. “He dun’ like atheists an' that's what you are.” He looked worried. Most likely he’d taken everything Pike had told him as gospel (pun not intended) and the idea that his parents might be damned probably scared the crap out of him. What about Tucker? Was he sitting at the dinner table as well, drilling his own parents about their beliefs or asking if his new baby sister had been baptized? Tucker’s parents were almost militant atheists and she imagined they would be calling Pike’s mom and giving her a piece of their minds. Or call her to rant about it. One of the great things about being mostly ambivalent was that unless Pike was rude to her or Pike’s mother started harassing Alec about his faith, Hailey didn’t give a toss. It did the boy good to have friends from different backgrounds like this. Broadened his palate.

“Dun' worry 'bout it, Alec,” Murdoc said abruptly, finishing what remained on his plate. “Ever'one believes differently. You know this, boy. Beliefs are personal an’ there’s no right or wrong way t’ go ‘bout it. Hell, me an' your Mum dun' even share the same beliefs.....not technically, an'ways.”

“What do you believe then?” Alec asked, setting his fork down.

“I'm a Satanist,” Murdoc said in a matter of fact tone.

“You worship the devil?” Alec's eyes had grown wide, almost the size of small saucers. Had he really not ever given any thought to the inverted cross Murdoc owned? She knew he’d seen Murdoc wear it on occasion so it just seemed like such a stretch that the boy had never wondered what it was or looked into it further. She was kind of glad he was merely asking questions now and not simply passing judgment but she never imagined feeling so on the spot about it all.

Murdoc paused briefly as he thought carefully about his answer. She could damn near hear the different jokes or wisecracks that simmered in his head. But this wasn’t some idiot journalist playing stupid, this was his kid. His brow twitched, gaze on the plate of food as he used his fork to move it around, managing to dodge another piece of flying rigatoni before finally speaking. “In a way, yes. There are different sects of it, just like Christianity....There are those who believe in the real Satan an' worship him much like others worship God. I was one of them, at one point. It became more metaphorical as I got older. I worship myself. Treat myself as the god I believe I am. Indulge in all the great thins' life has t' offer me. I'm a hedonist, when you get right down t' it. So is your Mum, really.”

“What's a hedonist?” Alec asked, still staring at him with wide eyes.

“If it feels good, tastes good an' brings a smile t' me face, I'm all for it.” Murdoc cracked a grin at the boy. “That is a hedonist, more or less.”

Alec continued to look at the two of them, his brow twitching in rising confusion. It was clear he had a million more questions but didn’t seem to know how to ask. He was only nine, after all. Religion had never been a hot button topic in their home because it was never something they’d ever talked about. What little exposure he may have gotten was confined to the school yard and a few kids he shared a classroom with. He had yet to understand that religion was a sensitive topic, one of those things you didn’t talk about at work or at family gatherings because people rarely ever agreed on it. Everyone had their own interpretations of religious text and teachings. It was subjective, much like morality. Huffing loudly, Alec shook his head. “One says it's bad, 'nother says it's fine....I'm confused. An’ I was told that kids usually follow what their parents follow.”

“You just go with whatever works for you,” Hailey said, rising from the table and snatching up Amy’s now empty plate before the tot decided to throw _that_. “I do what works for me and Murdoc does what works for him. Also, why would we force something so personal onto you? It’s up to each individual person to figure out what works best for them, no matter how old they are.”

Alec fell quiet for a moment, absorbing what Hailey had said. She could only hope she wasn’t overloading him with too much information. It was probably a lot to take in. Usually parents share belief systems and raise their children with these beliefs. Neither her or Murdoc had really discussed this because even with their slightly different takes on faith, they were on the same page when it came to the kids. Raise them without the worries of organized religion and let them decide for themselves once they were old enough to grasp it all. She wasn’t sure if nine was old enough, but Alec was a bright kid despite his obvious setbacks and if she could learn to pick a lock or rob a store blind at his age, he could grasp what he was hearing or at least comprehend whatever reading he might find on the topic. Sighing, Alec sank back into his chair. “How can you believe such different thins' without disagreein' on stuff?”

Murdoc shrugged, looking over at Hailey. “We still disagree on thins'. Religion just isn’t one of them. Life’s too bloody short t’ get up each other’s arses ‘bout matters of faith.”

Alec grabbed his plate, steadying himself carefully as he slid from his chair and turned to the counters behind him to set the plate aside. The tremble was still there but thanks to dozens of various physical therapy and even occupational therapy appointments, he’d managed to wield better control over it. Hailey also made a point to prepare foods that were easier for him to manage. Soups were mostly out of the question but if he could jab it with a fork, he could eat it without issue. He remained at the counter a moment before finally turning around to face Murdoc. “But you can have a row with Stu ‘bout it? He dun’ believe in violence or an’thin’ like that b’cause of his beliefs an’ you called him weak. Both started arguin’ ‘bout it.”

Murdoc lit a cigarette, propping his elbows onto the table. “Dents _is_ weak,” he laughed. “Not t’ mention, Stu an’ I have known each other for like twenty fuckin’ years. We bicker ‘bout ever’thin’, boy, you know this. Hell, we get in t’ arguments ‘bout the way he ties his bloody shoes! We just do it t’ break each other’s stones, Alec, nothin’ more.” He continued to chuckle as he took a drag from his cigarette. “Might sound like we’re gettin’ angry with each other, but rest assured we’re not. We just like t’ rile each other up. We know what buttons t’ hit with each other. I do it t’ Noodle too, ya know. I’m just a bit more careful with her b’cause I dun’ want her really kickin’ m’ arse.”

Alec cracked a smile, giggling as he reclaimed his chair. “You did push her too far once. I remember. She had you pinned down on the floor with your arms pulled b’hind your back. You were yellin’ an’ cursin’ at her t’ let you go.” He continued to giggle at this, though it was clear from Murdoc’s expression that he found the memory not nearly as funny. But that’s what happens when you push someone with the kind of training that Noodle had. He knew damned well what she was capable of and continued to poke and prod her until she had ripped him from the sofa and slammed him face down onto the floor with his arms twisted behind his back, her knee between his shoulders and him screeching _uncle_. The night had unfolded into complete chaos at that point with Stu screaming at her to stop, Tess wailing and Alec rolling on the floor laughing at his Dad getting his ass handed back to him by a woman damned near half his size. Never a dull moment at Chez Niccals, eh?

Hailey worked on getting Amy out of the booster seat, grimacing when Amy started shrieking and yanking on her hair. “It's up to you, Alec,” she said, dodging a flailing hand as Amy lashed out. “Faith, or lack of, is a personal choice, hon. Neither me nor your Dad can tell you what works for you.” She wasn’t sure what more she could say on the matter. This was something Alec needed to look into for himself. It was a natural thing to ask ones parents, but he was old enough to do his own investigating.

“How will I know what works for me?” he asked softly, shifting his attention between both Hailey and Murdoc. “Just seems like a lot t’ take in. Lots of different beliefs.”

“Research,” Murdoc said in a matter of fact tone. Taking the still flailing Amy from Hailey, he gestured for Alec to follow him to the lounge. “Figure out your basic beliefs and see where it fits.” Alec followed Murdoc and Amy to the lounge, giggling when Amy went stiff in Murdoc’s arms and let out another shriek before babbling something that sounded like _blah blah vampires blah blah_ before lunging towards Murdoc. He held her away from his body, her teeth snapping at air. “Ya know, boy, maybe we need t’ look in t’ Catholicism...get an exorcist for this wild thin’, eh?”

“You keep encouraging it,” Hailey said as she trailed behind them. Like an exorcism would help that child. It did make them appreciate how easy going Alec had been as a baby and toddler. Amy was straight out of Where the Wild Things Are. Hair always a mess because you could never get her to hold still long enough to do anything with it. She didn’t really talk...it was shrieks and jibberish sprinkled with _Al’c, Mumm, Dah_. Hated wearing clothes and perfectly comfortable running around in nothing but a pull up or a pair of undies. It made for some interesting moments when Murdoc had people over to help work on material. Sitting in the studio and doing their thing only to have this dainty little creature with the wild black hair suddenly pop up wailing at the top of her lungs. Hailey was pretty sure she’d read somewhere that second born children were usually little hellions compared to first borns and she’d laughed at the article at the time, but realized there was obviously some truth to it.

Murdoc set Amy onto the floor, groaning when she shot off like a lightning bolt, veering through the kitchen and out to the sitting room. “I’m knackered,” he huffed, dropping down into the sofa. “I swear that kid is possessed.” He craned his neck to look up at Hailey. “I’m serious ‘bout that exorcism, Poppet.”

*************************

2D and Murdoc watched with curiosity from the patio as Alec slowly scanned over the two bookshelves in the sitting room. Noodle, Hailey and Tessie were out in the yard. Murdoc assumed Hailey was showing off the start to some garden she had planned. He wasn’t sure why she wanted to garden seeing the woman had no green thumb to speak of. He’d grown a few pot plants back in his youth and that had been the closest he’d gotten to any type of greenery. The few plants they kept in their home were of the silk variety, which had been Hailey’s choice because of her lack of green thumb. So why start a garden now? Sure the state of the world was currently in shambles, but it didn’t mean they had to start living like they were off the grid or anything. Other places had gobs more problems and you didn’t see people flocking to the feed stores to buy garden starts or livestock! Oh hell, if she comes home with goats and cows, he would probably flip out. They had the room, sure, but tending livestock was a shit ton of work that he had zero interest in. He had a job, thank you very fucking much. If Hailey insisted playing home on the fucking range, she could play by herself or have Alec or Amy help her.

He never would’ve guessed that things would have gotten so crazy. Idiot PM there in the UK. Idiot president over in the states. Even Australia had a complete dullard for a PM. It appeared that the three countries were competing over who had the most fucking incompetent leader and every single one of them were neck and neck currently. Murdoc generally avoided politics because it was all balls anyway, but they’d spent last summer in lockdown due to a respiratory illness that had swept the globe. Alec had gone nuts being confined to the house and the yard when he wasn’t on his laptop for school. Hailey had reduced her shopping trips to one day every other week and this had led to all the good munchy food disappearing quickly and not being restocked quickly enough for both Alec’s and Murdoc’s liking. Murdoc had finished some material ahead of schedule but was faced with nothing to do until the network started moving forward again or filming resumed with a few other. Thank Satan he was paid in advance for these contracts. Some of their investments had tanked, but appeared to be bouncing back in small degrees. Overall, the whole last year was a hot fucking mess that nobody wanted to talk about. Disease, political upheaval around the globe, civil unrest, killer wasps... It was enough to make everyone take a collective sigh of relief when the new year finally came and things seemed to be marginally getting better. At least until the second wave of that fucking virus hit. They hadn’t gone into a second lockdown yet, thankfully. Alec was able to attend school like normal and Hailey had resumed more frequent trips to the market so they always had some good munchy foods on hand. Hopefully things wouldn’t get too out of hand. They were only a few months into the new year and he wasn’t interested in reliving any fucking part of 2020.

Stu took a drink from his beer, his black eyes on Alec as the boy inched closer to the shelves to inspect the titles. “He’s only nine, Muds. Dun’ you reckon your book collection is a bit over his head?”

Murdoc shrugged as he uncapped his fresh bottle. “Maybe, maybe not. If he dun’ understand what he’s readin’, I’m sure he’ll ask ‘bout it.” It was all they could do, right? He’d never once thought to ask Alec what kind of books he’d been reading. They also had never once indicated their books were off limits. The idea that kids should stick with age appropriate books was a foreign thing to both him and Hailey with maybe a few narrow exceptions. Hailey had some Anne Rice erotica on a top shelf and Murdoc had a few questionable graphic novels up there too, but the rest of their collection was fair game. Between their combined interests, the books filled two very tall shelves, a mixture of non-fiction, fiction and classics even. Both Hailey and Murdoc were avid readers, many evenings spent tucked away on the plush chairs in the sitting room or in bed with their reading material of choice.

“What if he picks _Animal Farm_?” Stu whispered, now looking at Murdoc with a touch of worry.

“So what if he does?” he retorted, waving his hand at Stu dismissvely. “Look, mate, just b’cause you could barely understand the bloody book doesn’t mean ever’one else will barely understand it.” When Stu uttered a weird whimper in response, Murdoc flashed him a hard look. “The boy was askin’ ‘bout religion an’ shit an’way, not communism. He’s more likely t’ grab that Anne Rice book ‘bout Jesus or one of the Anton LaVey books over _Animal Farm_ or _1984_.” Murdoc watched as the boy pulled a chair over and climbed onto the seat, unsteadily reaching up for one of the higher shelves. Rising from his chair, he made a brisk walk over to the shelves, gesturing for Alec to climb down. “You’re gonna hurt yourself climbin’ like that, boy. Ask one of us when you need a book from the higher shelves”

Alec slowly climbed down, pointing at the collection of LaVey books. “I wanted t’ look at those ones. You dun’ mind, do you?”

Grabbing one of the books, he handed it to Alec. “Not at all. Other than the very top shelf, the books are fair game. Dun’ even have t’ ask.”

Alec dropped onto his rump in the chair, opening up the book. Silent as he skimmed through the passages, flipping page after page before finally looking up. “You said it was more metaphorical, yeah?”

“That I did,” Murdoc said, pulling a chair over. “Not so much a belief in the deity himself, but simply an idea. Like your Mum's atheism, I reckon. Faith in ourselves, respect in ourselves. Enjoy the thins' that life has t' offer with little or no guilt.” He leaned forward, gesturing for Alec to hand him the book. “There are eleven basic commandments t' Satanism....” Grabbing another book, he opened it up, pulling his glasses from his shirt pocket and wiping at the lenses a bit before putting them on. After skimming through the pages, he finally found the passages he was looking for. “Most of it is just plain common sense an' common courtesy.”

Alec got to his feet, standing beside the chair and peering over Murdoc's arm at the pages. “ _Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked....Do not tell your troubles t' others unless you are sure they want t' hear them....When in 'nother's lair, show him respect or do not go there.._..”

Murdoc pointed towards the bottom. “ _Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully t' obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after havin' called upon it with success, you will lose all that you have obtained_.” Looking up from the book, he gestured at the room around them. “Call it magic, call it luck, call it whatever you will, but I keep an open mind t' the possibility that I received a bit of help in gettin' all of this.”

Alec nodded slowly, looking around the room. “There was this weird comic book type thin’ Patty had an’ passed ‘round the class. She got in trouble for it but I remember it talked ‘bout Satan worshipin’. Said that those who worship Lucifer sacrificed children an' animals.”

“Chick tracts!” Murdoc crowed, laughing good naturedly. Oh hell, he hadn’t seen one of those in years. They still printed them? “Christ, Alec, those’ve been ‘round for years! Got a great laugh outa them as a kid. Nothin’ but puritanical nonsense!” He gestured at the book in his lap. “Take a looky here, what do number nine an' ten say?”

Alec peered down at the book. “ _Do not harm little children_ an' _Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food_.” Brow furrowed, he drew back from the chair, now staring at Murdoc with a confused expression. “So Patty’s comics were wrong then?”

“The proof is here in the Satanic Bible itself, Alec,” Murdoc said, closing the book. “Now, I wasn't raised under any specific religion an' only stumbled upon Satanism when I was a teenager, but from what I've read, Lucifer was up in heaven I guess an' he decided that all that abstinence an' turnin' the other cheek business just didn't suit him. Because he didn't agree, they cast him out an' he became his own god. All it amounts t' is indulgin' in what life has t' offer instead of abstainin' from it. Only respect those who are worthy of your respect. Remember that humans are the most dangerous animals of all. Rely on intelligence an' the wisdom you gain through your life an' not some fantasy created by man t' control the masses.”

Alec smiled when Murdoc passed him the book. “It doesn't seem that bad, actually, when you explain it like that. Why is it shunned by the other faiths an' seen as such an evil thin'?”

“B'cause it goes 'gainst most of the basic church tenets,” Murdoc said in a matter of fact tone. “While most sects of Christianity teach to grovel an' refrain from an'thin' that brings pleasure or an’thin’ that might contradict its teachins’, Satanism says laugh in the face of the self righteous, enjoy it all an’ a’ways keep learnin’. T' continue t' believe in yourself an' not rely on some deity in the clouds.”

Alec nodded slowly, dropping his attention to the open book in his lap. “I'll keep all that in mind.”

Murdoc ventured back outside, scoffing dramatically when he realized that Hailey had not only claimed his chair but was also drinking his beer. “Oh, I see how you are, woman! Takin’ m’ seat like that.” He looked over at Stu, feigning irritation. “Why the hell didn’t you kick her out, Dents?”

Stu’s brow knitted together, looking up at him cautiously. Clearly not catching that Murdoc was merely joking, he shook his head, a weird squeaking noise escaping from him. “I’m sorry!”

“Fuckin’ hell, man, I’m playin’. Dun’ care. She’ll make a good cushion an’ways.” Cracking a smile, he dropped down between her splayed legs, leaning back against her. Across from them, Noodle sat in another lounger, Tessie resting against her comfortably, dozing peacefully. Not a bad little gathering, if he said so himself. Maybe later he’d get the game console set up so he, Dents and Alec could get a few rounds of Call of Duty in before Dents and Noodle left for the evening. He also wanted to see if Tess was as apt of a gamer as Dents had made her out to be. She’d taken a liking to some of the first person shooter games Stu had and was apparently a quick learner. He sighed, nestling against Hailey’s breasts. “Alec found some of m’ books. He’s readin’ the Satanic Bible. That won’t be an issue, I hope?”

“Not at all,” she whispered, her fingers in his hair. “I’d rather he read and learn for himself than parrot what some dumb kid at school is telling him.” She let out a low burst of laughter, still working her fingers through his hair. “We may have to prepare for the inevitable phone call from the school, though.”

“Cross that bridge when we get there, yeah?” he chuckled, closing his eyes and sighing against the touch. The sensation of her fingertips and nails on his scalp sent little shivers through his body. He relaxed further, focusing on the lulling feel of her breathing and the soft thudding of her heartbeat beneath him. “Whadya think he'll decide on?” he asked in a husky whisper.

“Dunno,” she murmured. “I know we said he has to figure it out for himself, but I have my reservations. Gah, I hope he doesn’t choose Latter Day Saints or being a Jehovah’s Witness. We’d never hear the end of it!”

“Catholicism?” Craning his neck, he peered up at her face.

“Fucking hell, I hope not!” she scoffed, wrinkling her nose. “Last thing I wanna deal with is him talking about how women are only meant to serve their men and make babies....”

“Poppet, I hate t' break it t' you, but that's pretty much every sect of Christianity.....” Erupting in a cackling laugh, he sat up, turning to face her. “I'm sure he'll figure it all out....”

“Could have him talk to Stu.” She peered over at 2D, who had perked up. “Buddhism isn't so bad, right Stu?”

Murdoc sneered, wrinkling his nose. “Oh, hell no, Poppet. I want the boy t' be able t' stand up for himself, not pussy out on every lil' thin'....”

2D’s mouth dropped open, his brow knitting together in irritation. “I dun’ pussy out, Murdoc!”

“Give me _one example_ where you backed me up, mate!” Murdoc cackled.

Hailey dropped her head back into the cushions, laughing. “C'mon now, Murdoc, surely Stu has held his own in confrontation!”

“Not that I've seen,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Last time we got in t' a scuffle....it was at that pub back in the states. He ran for it an’ left me there t’ take on that fuckin’ caveman who thought we were puttin’ the moves on his woman. Left me there t’ get me arse kicked.” He sank down against her, pressing his face into her chest. “Stu is ‘bout as tough as a wet noodle.”

He could feel Hailey chuckling against him, her hands still in his hair. He sighed against the sensation and got himself a bit more comfortable. It was peaceful and quiet now. Tessie was practically asleep and Alec was still tucked away reading the books Murdoc had grabbed for him. Let the boy figure it out for himself. Whatever he decided to choose, all they could do was support it and try to help guide him along the way. It was all they could do, really. No point in pushing the lad one way or the other. He’d figure it out. And if he still wasn’t sure, they enough books to last him until doomsday. No doubt he’d find something that spoke to him, whether it was today, tomorrow or five years from now.

Closing his eyes, Murdoc dozed against her, rumbles of contentment escaping from him as her nails dragged against his scalp. He could go to sleep like this. It was quiet, peaceful and he was more than comfortable. He could even feel her breath against him and she was all softness and warmth. He allowed his thoughts to wander, taking in the scent of the evening air. Hailey and Noodle spoke to one another in hushed voices, sometimes Stu chiming in with something. Eventually everything fell dead quiet and he simply dozed comfortably. Something in the air was changing, something that made his thoughts take pause. Quiet, so much quiet. He snapped his eyes open, spying a tiny little thing with wild black hair flying into his lap with a squeal. He jumped up with a squawk as Amy landed hard into his lap, her knees slamming straight into his balls, her high pitched shriek only vaguely understood as words. “VAMPIRE BITE YOU!”


	11. On Thin Ice

He was pretty sure he could hear her crying. Pausing in the midst of packing the suitcase, he perked his ears, listening. It was controlled, almost restrained, but it was definitely crying. Frowning at the haphazardly packed clothing, he shook his head and resumed grabbing things from the closet and dresser. It was only for a few days. He’d be back by the end of the weekend. Manchester wasn't that far and he'd be a phone-call away if she needed to get him on speaker phone to set the two little heathens straight. But none of this changed the fact that Hailey was indeed locked in the bathroom the kids used, sobbing and trying desperately to not be heard. Part of him insisted he check on her but another part of him wanted to put as much distance between him and her emotional state as he possibly could. He never handled emotions well. Hailey normally wasn’t an emotional person so the tears were a bit of a surprise but he knew the root of the issue and didn’t want to get into another argument about it. He had to do this gig. There was no way out of it. He’d be gone for two and a half days. The taxi would be picking him up here shortly and he’d be back in a couple of days.

The soft sounds of her sobs quieted when a squabble broke out between Alec and Amy. Whatever it was the tot had done, it had sent Alec into a near meltdown. Practically wailing downstairs as Amy continued to screech at him, which only made the boy cry harder. Never know the boy was ten years old listening to the ruckus downstairs. The noises from the bathroom in the hallway stopped, a door slamming hard enough to make Murdoc cringe as he zipped his suitcase. From down the hall, he could hear Hailey now thundering down the stairs. “ _Now what_!” she screeched, both children falling quiet.

“She kicked over the Playstation an’ lost m’ game!” Alec wailed.

“ _PLAY!_ ” Amy shrieked.

Murdoc turned his attention to the suitcase, trying desperately to tune out the chaos that had unfolded down below. Maybe this charity show was a bad idea. Why did he let Stu and Noodle talk him into this thing? Wrangling him in hook, line and sinker with legal contracts and everything to cover the show. A bloody two day gig with them and Cass, perform a few songs, proceeds going to some third world charity of sorts. No way to back out now. Everything had been signed and given the legal seal of approval several months ago. He had no way of backing out, even if he wanted to! The timing was just ridiculously poor, though. Not that he had any inkling that things would get this chaotic at home when he had originally signed the contracts for the show, but still. Alec's appointments had increased, new meds had been prescribed to control his seizures, Amy was her usual wild self, running and screeching all through the house and then the big topper of them all – Hailey’s doc decided it was time to change up her fucking medication. Yeah, let's switch her to another anti-psychotic to mix with her anti-anxiety medication and whatever the fuck else the doc was prescribing her. And here he was, getting ready to leave for two days and she was a fucking mess because the pills hadn’t leveled out yet.

He hated to admit it, bu it amounted to the house just feeling like an asylum. Pounding headache every fucking day, material deadlines looming over him, Alec becoming more and more resistant to the constant therapy appointments because they exhausted him and then Hailey just standing there, either completely detached and emotionless or looking as if she would burst into tears if you so much as looked at her cross-eyed. It was almost reminiscent of the that time before Amy had been born. Alec had been five or six and his needs had started to monopolize their time and their patience and as much as Murdoc tried to block that time out, he could still hear their fights in the back recesses of his memories. At least they weren’t fighting this time but there were days when he could feel the tension in the air and wondered if history would decide to repeat itself.

He hated being caught between knowing he should stay and desperately needing this escape. Maybe it made him an arsehole but what the hell was he supposed to do? He needed to decompress! Just a few days to get his own head in order before he went fucking mental. Being on stage with throngs of adoring fans was just what the doctor ordered, especially with the current state of the house. He'd lost count of the days he just went to hide in the studio. Lost count of all those moments when he would just nod his head or make a noise to give the impression that he was hearing the babble around him. Everything in his life had begun to feel like a roller coaster. Up, down, sideways and let’s toss in a loop-da-loop while we’re at it! Just when they thought they had themselves and their life together figured out, something else would come around to knock the wind from their sails. When the good happened, it was always wonderfully good. But the bad came with such force that it almost felt like he was falling with no way to stop himself.

Much like now. The only sane one amidst lunatics. That's what it felt like, shitty as it was to even admit it. Made him feel shitty to even think it. Just like he couldn’t help feeling smothered and trapped, he knew Hailey couldn't help the outbursts or shifts in moods that left him either confused or hurt. Those meds fucked with the wiring of her brain. They were filling in where part of her brain malfunctioned, right? Helped link neurons and other pathways so she could regulate her thoughts and emotions. Another week or two and things would get back to some level of normal, but for now it was dealing with her being a neurotic mess that didn’t know up from down, cried at the drop of a hat and sometimes would tear strips from him for asking a question or merely looking at her the wrong way. A ragged and haunting figure that lurked around the house like a fucking phantom. Eyes that seemed lost and blank. Eyes that sometimes looked at the kids as if they were aliens.

And here he was, preparing to leave her in charge of two small children, one of which was disabled.

Fuck. Why did he agree to this shit? Couldn't the suits responsible for this gig find another bass player to fill his place? Grimacing, he grabbed the closed suitcase and set it by the bedroom door. This was just too much to think about. Part of him was practically begging him to go and another part of him was all but screaming that he should stay. What should he do? Stay and lose his mind or go to the Manchester gig and then face Satan knows what upon his return? He couldn’t think about it like that. He was only going to succeed in freaking himself out. Maybe he could get some last minute arrangements made and just take Alec and Amy with? Might need a straightjacket for the Wild Thing, but at least then he could breathe a little easier, right? Frowning, he shook his head. No, he couldn’t do that. There was no way. Besides, what was that going to accomplish? For one, a lot of his stress was stemming from the kids and their needs. Secondly, what the hell would that say to Hailey? _Oh, sorry_ _love_ _, but since I_ _feel like you’re a fucked up mess_ _, I'm taking the kids for their safety_. Yeah, Murdy, that would go over super well. Stellar idea. Really rub some salt into it, eh? He uttered a groan and slumped down onto the edge of the bed. He didn't know what to do. He hated this uncertainty and confusion. Why couldn't it just all go back to the way it was, before Alec had gotten hurt? Back when he had been a normal little boy with normal little boy needs. Not the numerous physical therapy appointments, not the constant work to help him while home, not the oodles of medications that were now scattered all through the house, for both him and Hailey. Back before Amy had even been a thought in anyone’s head. Before the house was filled with shrieks that could shatter the sound barrier. When they’d assumed Alec would be an only child.

Christ, man, are you listening to yourself right now? Sure, Amy was a fucking handful and a half on a good day, but wishing for the days before their lives had been so drastically altered would only accomplish making him bitter. This was the card life had handed them and they needed to deal with it. If given the chance to do it all over again, he couldn’t fathom wishing for anything different. He’d been fucking ecstatic when Amy had been born, never mind the circumstances and lingering doubts he’d had around her conception. All the craziness and fighting and doubt and then suddenly there was this little pink thing with a massive head of black hair getting plopped into his arms, screeching to the heavens over her displeasure of the shock of being born. He hated thinking about all the doubt that had plagued him up until that moment, but once he got a good look at that wailing little banshee, everything seemed alright.

Movement from the doorway caught his attention. Lifting his head, he saw Hailey standing there, just staring at him and he could tell by her expression that she was on edge. It was amazing how aged she looked to him suddenly. Splashes of grey in her dark hair, eyes that stared at him but didn’t appear to see him, eyes that were dull with wrinkles in the corners and dark circles underneath. She teetered in the doorway, her mouth a thin line as she gazed at him and then the packed and zipped suitcase. He could feel the tension in the air and tore his own gaze away from her. From downstairs, Alec could still be heard wailing as Amy shrieked in response. Hailey’s expression twitched as the sounds from below carried upstairs, but she remained mostly emotionless as she continued to stare at him and the suitcase. “I can't convince you to stay, can I?” she asked finally in a husky whisper.

“Can't stay,” he muttered, unable to meet her eyes. “Ever'thin' was signed an' given the legal seal of approval months ‘go. Can't back out now.”

Hailey made a noise, biting against her lower lip. “Just tell them you’re ill or there was a family emergency...please don’t go.”

The desperation of her tone sent a tremor through him. Maybe he should seriously entertain taking the kids with him? It would be a blow to her, but he’d rather her be upset at him for not trusting her than turning a blind eye to the obvious and something happening. The cab would be here soon, though, and he knew there was no way he could get them to pack up quickly enough let alone wrangle someone from the event staffing to keep tabs on them while he was on stage for soundchecks and whatnot. Leaving some poor intern or assistant to chase around the Wild Thing would guarantee they’d be a few bodies short within the first day. This was an all hands on deck situation and the event planners would have an aneurysm if anyone dropped out, whether it be him, Stu, Noodle, Cass or the dozens of assistants, roadies and interns wrangled to help with this sodding show. Expecting some barely out of high school intern to keep tabs on the kids was absolutely out of the question. He could already see it perfectly in his head – he and his mates on stage performing and suddenly a stark naked three year old streaking across the stage and screeching at the top of her lungs with some exhausted kid chasing after her. Sighing, he glanced up at Hailey, feeling twinges of guilt at the exhausted and desperate face that stared back at him. “I wish it were that simple, Poppet. But I can’t back out now. You know this.”

She said nothing further, her brow furrowed as she backed out of the doorway and disappeared down the hall towards the stairs. He felt like a right bastard at the moment, but his hands were tied. At least the kids had quieted down finally, no longer screaming at each other. He could also hear Hailey saying something to them that he couldn’t quite catch followed shortly by the sounds of running water and the bit-too-rough clink of dishes. She’d be okay. He had to believe this. She only needed to keep it together for a few days and Alec was old enough to help her out. Would he know what to do if she went off the rails, though? Neither Murdoc or Hailey had ever talked with him when it came to his Mum’s mental health. They’d never felt a need to because the last time things had gotten out of hand, he’d been an infant and the meds she’d been prescribed then had done a wondrous job of keeping her stable and in check. If she really comes apart, he might be too frightened to know what to do. Maybe he should take Alec aside and go over a few things before leaving.

Rising to his feet, he grabbed his suitcase and made his way downstairs, veering into the studio to grab one of his bass guitars. He had several of them, a black on in particular being his favorite second to El Diablo, which had been lost when the pirates attacked Plastic Beach. It had been in the studio at the time and as the house crumbled apart under the heavy gunfire and bombing, the studio had collapsed into the ocean, taking millions of dollars in instruments and Satan knows what else with it. But El Diablo had been in that studio too and he’d watched in horror as the instrument of his success sank to the depths of the Pacific. The black bass had been in storage with some other old Gorillaz stuff back in Essex. It had needed a bit of TLC, but once he’d managed to clean it up and repair it, the instrument sounded as good as new. Shame he couldn’t do the show with El Diablo, but those attending the charity gig didn’t necessarily care about what instruments they were playing. They only wanted to see Murdoc, 2D and Noodle. Russ had other obligations and couldn’t find time to do the show so Cass had come back to fill in for him.

She was at the sink, cleaning up some pots and pans from earlier in the day. Even with her back to him, he could feel her rising agitation. Both kids were in the lounge and watching telly as if their fight had never happened, which was normal of course. Should he say something? Should he just finish getting everything ready so he can leave without too much chaos? He had his suitcase, he had his bass and he had his wallet and other smaller things that he thought he might need while gone. Taking a breath, he crossed the kitchen towards the foyer, setting the suitcase by the door. Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw her perk her up, eyes now locked on him. He kept his focus on the suitcase and instrument case, not wanting to meet her gaze. Just let him get out of the house with some scrap of sanity intact, that was all he asked for.

_You need to stay._

Christ, this was fucking hard. He couldn't back out of this shit now. But her patience was clearly skating on thin ice finally. Uncomfortable as her mood swings had been, he had to keep reminding himself that they were out of her control. And he would only be gone for a few days. Fuck, it was Thursday afternoon. He'd be back by Sunday evening!

Spotting the cab in the distance, he turned towards the lounge and cleared his throat to get the kids’ attention. As they turned towards him, he forced a smile. “A'right, you lot. I'm out.” Amy darted in first, babbling away about something that went completely over his head. She wrapped herself around one of his legs, still sputtering away. Her hair was a mess, sticking up all over in the haphazard ponytail Hailey had pulled it into. “You be good for your Mum,” he said, watching as Alec came into the kitchen. The boy merely nodded at him, his eyes flickering over to Hailey. Alec wasn't stupid or as oblivious as one would have hoped. But it was hard to not pick up on the growing agitation within the house. He was past the age where one could lie or hide shit from. When Alec moved closer, Murdoc bent low, whispering in Alec’s ear. “If your Mum starts actin’ off, dun’ hesitate t’ call Rachel an’ Dave. You know their number, yeah?” Alec nodded his head, his eyes still on Hailey.

“They really can’t find someone else to fill in for you?” she pleaded from behind him. She had been silent up until then, the sound of her voice almost making him jump.

Shaking his head, Murdoc untangled the babbling toddler from his leg. “Can't, Poppet. I told you this. The crowd is expectin' Gorillaz. Not Stu, Noods, Cass an' whatever sorry sod they toss up there t' fill m’ place.” Turning to face her, he flashed a smile. “B'sides, it's only for a few days. I'll be back Sunday.”

“It's hard,” she whispered, her voice cracking as fresh tears welled in her eyes.

He felt his smile start to slip. “I know.”

“No, you _don't,_ ” she moaned, shaking her head. “You don't have a clue. You hide in that fucking studio all day.....or you're playing that fucking game console with Alec, making a bigger fucking mess than the two kids combined.” Blinking back tears, she drew back when he moved closer. “It turns into a god damned circus in here most days and you're nowhere to be found.” The harsh lighting of the kitchen seemed to highlight all her imperfections, making him take pause as he looked her over. Or maybe it was showing what he had refused to see himself? It never really occurred to him just how much she had changed since having Amy. She had bounced right back after Alec, but Amy had taken a lot out of her, spirit included. He reminded himself again that a lot of this was out of her control. Her head was all messed up which was making her irrational and moody. Add to that the daily stresses of trying to take care of Alec’s needs as well the wild and untameable Amy...even a level headed person would crack.

In spite of his numerous mental reminders, he kept thinking back to various moments when things had gotten so out of control, he just wanted to take off down to the pub and drown in a pitcher...or three. Moments when he would just stand there, silent witness to her more manic moments, flying off at one of the kids for whatever, even barking at Alec over things that were out of his control. Moments that made him wonder just how much more he could take himself. No matter how many times he tried to tell himself that this was temporary and she’d soon get back on level ground, there was still part of him that wanted nothing more than to run for the hills and never look back. Run away and start fresh. Bachelorhood never looked so fucking good.

Closing the distance between them, he circled his arms around her, feeling her go stiff against him. “Can't say it 'nough, Poppet....Just a few days. I'll be back b’fore you even know it.” She said nothing, though he could feel her body relaxing against him. Pressing his face into her hair, he let out a heavy sigh. “I need this.....If I dun' get out of the house, I'll go mental.” She went rigid, drawing back from him, staring at him with eyes that threatened tears and an expression that was somewhere between hurt and fury. Crap, he so said the wrong thing. Should have known better. Of course she'd take it wrong. But he only meant.....no....he just meant..... _.FUCK_! Moving towards her again, he stopped mid-step when she backed away from him. He’d never seen such a look of hurt and disgust on her face before. There was little he could do to remedy the situation at this point. It would take time he no longer had. Damn it all. Okay, just go. Get out now and give her a chance to cool down. Maybe those magic happy pills will finally level out while he's gone. Picking up the suitcase and the guitar case, he gave her a nod and spun around, juggling both bags through the door, pulling it shut behind him.


	12. The Other One

When 2D opened the door of his narrow little home, he expected to see one of Tessie's numerous friends or even the wild and unruly little Amy standing there on his doorstep with Murdoc peeling out in his car and cackling like a madman. Such was life when you had adolescents and a friend who might as well be one, right? What he didn't expect to see standing on the front step was the frail and shy looking young woman who stood there. A young little wispy thing, she was. Late twenties, perhaps? She couldn’t have been much older than that. He wasn’t the greatest judge of age, though. The young woman standing there was tiny in build, much like Noodle, with blondish hair and downcast hazel eyes. She seemed distracted and even a bit embarrassed as she stood there, struggling to meet his eyes and frequently dropping them to his feet. “Help you?” he asked finally, leaning in the doorway.

“You're Mister Tusspot, yeah?” she asked, eyes gazing up at him through a veil of hair. She was definitely a young thing. Almost babyfaced. He would have guessed her closer to Alec’s age if not for her clothing. Chewing her lip and staring directly at him, she spoke again, her voice barely above a whisper. “You’re Stuart Tusspot, right?”

“I am.” This should have been a no-brainer. How many six-foot-two middle aged men had blue hair? She may have been young, but she was old enough to know Gorillaz and know of the blue-hared front man. From behind him, he heard both Noodle and Tessie pausing in their game to look towards the door. “How can I help you?”

“I'm tryin' t' find Murdoc Niccals,” she whispered meekly. “I can't seem t' find his number in the directory or a place of residence....”

2D's brow knitted together, suddenly feeling uneasy about this young woman and her purpose. “Err...His number an' place of residence is private an' unlisted, love. But if you tell me why you're here, I can drop him a line....” He wasn’t about to tell this girl where the man lived. While it had been fun to joke about the hate mail that still trickled in once fans realized the band members were off the market, they all knew that some fans took things too far and 2D was not about to be party to this stranger invading Murdoc’s private space. For all he knew, this dainty woman on his step was something out of Fatal Attraction.

“I'm 'fraid it's rather personal,” she whispered as she shook her head. “I can’t say.”

Noodle appeared at his side suddenly, staring at the stranger with suspicion. “Well, we can't help you if you don't tell us what's going on, sweetie,” she said in a firm but gentle voice.

The young woman's demeanor told him that maybe they didn't want to know why she was looking for Murdoc. She kept her focus on 2D, unwilling to look Noodle in the eyes. “I can't....Please. I just need t' find him. It's important.”

2D looked over at Noodle, unsure of how to go about this. The suspicion on Noodle's face was obvious, clearly picking up a potential theory as to why the young woman was seeking Murdoc out. He felt himself thrown back to the early years of the band when some strung out thing would show up on the doorstep of Kong. Some outright demanding to see the bassist while others simply seeking cash. Murdoc may have been a hot mess back then, but the man had still been careful and many of the girls who’d showed up out of the blue often were chased off with threats of legal action. 2D could remember wondering why Murdoc had always gotten lucky in that regard when he himself had lost a significant amount of money through those early years to pay down back due child support. He’d seen Murdoc drag off two or three a night after a show and lord knew how many he’d brought back to Kong for a few rounds in the Winnebago before casting them out. Several had appeared months, even years later with claims against the bassist and desires for cash to keep quiet or cash to rid themselves of the problem, most leaving empty handed because Murdoc may have been a complete whore then, but he wasn’t stupid.

But this was different. This wasn’t some strung out groupie popping up decades later to cause problems. This woman was practically a baby compared to Murdoc and she was standing on their doorstep in an effort to find the man for what 2D could only assume was the same reasons so many before her had done when they’d lived at Kong. Was it possible that Murdoc had stumbled across this woman when he and Hailey had first gotten involved? He knew Murdoc avoided the younger looking fans due to a few legal scuffles in the past because the girls had lied about their ages, but if he was feeling particularly frisky and trapped with a partner and kid, he might throw caution out the window for a chance to feel like his old self. And there was that time ten or eleven years ago when things had gotten rocky with them due to Alec’s increased needs in the wake of what happened in Seattle. Murdoc rarely aired his dirty laundry but had told 2D about it all when it was discovered that Hailey was pregnant with Amy and there’d been doubts over paternity. Though he hadn’t known all the details, he knew that Murdoc had been banging a few on the side and at some point, Hailey had done the same. They did eventually move past it, but would they be able to move past it if it was discovered that Murdoc had knocked someone else up during that brief dark chapter of their life?

Was Noodle taking all of this into consideration as she looked the woman over? Noodle probably knew more about that whole fiasco than he did. After a lengthy silence, she took a breath and spoke, her voice taking on an edge that 2D had never heard before. “How old?”

“Seven,” the young woman whispered, tearing her gaze from Noodle. “He’s seven.”

2D cast a side glance at Noodle before returning his gaze to the stranger. This was bad. This was really bad. If the kid has been older, he might have believed it, but seven? Only seven? He scoffed loudly and shook his head. “Seven years old an’ now you’re comin’ forward?” His words had come out harsher than he intended but he was already feeling the discomfort of anxiety and what this would mean once word was relayed to their friends. How the hell did they plan to even break this to them? “Why didn’t you come forward sooner?”

“I dun' have t' justify m'self t' you,” the young woman spat.

“You’re right, you don’t,” Noodle snapped back, now matching glares with the woman. “But you’re going to have to justify this to his family. Coming around years later and throwing this in their laps. How did you meet him then? We haven't exactly been touring the last fifteen, twenty years....”

“The charity show you lot did in Manchester....,” the young woman said in a low voice, her gaze almost acidic. “We met up after the show.”

2D shook his head in disbelief. There was no way this was possible. She was lying. She had to be lying. Manchester had only been a two day gig and they’d been together the entire fucking time. He racked through the various memories of that weekend and nearly every single one included Murdoc. There was no way the man got away from them long enough to nail a bird on the side. Not to mention the fact that this woman was maybe thirty years old. Murdoc had over thirty years on this girl, easy. “Noodle,” he whispered finally, “we dunno if dis is true or not. He was wiff us da entire time!”

“I’m trying to keep an open mind,” she hissed back through bared teeth. “You need to get him on the phone right now, Stuart.”

“She could be lyin',” he whispered.

“Call him,” Noodle demanded hotly, now looking up at him. He had never seen her so furious before. She was absolutely livid. “Get him on the phone! There was at least twice he wasn't under our noses during that show.”

“He was wiff us!” he protested, flashing the intruder on their step a harsh look. “B’sides, Noods, what if dis is a juss a scam t' get money?”

“Of course she's looking for money, Stuart!” Noodle snapped, her voice rising. “Why else would she wait this fucking long to show up!”

“You dun' believe me,” the young woman whispered, now staring at 2D. “You think I'm only out t' get his money?” 2D wanted to laugh in her face. Of course that’s what they thought. Noodle had a point – why else would she show up years later with a claim? One normally tries to reach out before hand to at least give the person a head’s up. Not to mention, 2D couldn’t recall any time that Murdoc had not been with them. If he hadn’t been with him and Noodle, he was with Cass. Surely Cass would have told them if Murdoc had met someone. Not to mention the fact that Murdoc generally avoided the obviously young looking ones out of fear they were younger than they claimed. This young woman would have looked like a teenager at the time of the Manchester gig and chances were, Murdoc would have avoided her like the plague.

Noodle rubbed at the bridge of her nose, clearly annoyed at his hesitation. “Stuart, just call him and get him over here so we can get to the bottom of this.”

2D did as he was told, shuffling over to where he was charging his cell phone. He wasn't sure what he felt about this. He wanted to believe this was all just a scam. Murdoc had been pretty wild during the height of their music careers. This woman could easily just see the man as an easy target because of his past. What was the old saying? Leopards don’t change their spots? Most people would assume men like that didn’t change. Murdoc had thoroughly enjoyed the perks of rock superstardom but 2D also knew the Plastic Beach tour had taken a lot out of the man. Could’ve been age, could’ve been the stress and paranoia, could’ve been anything really. All 2D knew was that the man wasn’t interested in fucking his way around the globe like he’d once done and seemed to finally be calming down. He wanted to be angry with Murdoc, but part of him still felt this was nothing but a scam. Noodle looked fit to kill and he wasn’t even sure if he wanted to cross her at this point because one wrong move might be his last. He wanted to believe that Murdoc had never seen this woman, let alone slept with her. The charity show had been a weekend long event. If Murdoc hadn’t been with them, he’d been with Cass at the pub down the street from their hotel. There just didn't seem to be enough time in that entire forty-eight hours for the then fifty-three year old Murdoc to find some groupie slag to bang.

He could still hear Noodle and the young woman bickering in low voices at the door. Tessie had finally peered out from the lounge to see what all the commotion was. Waving her back to the lounge, he pulled up Murdoc’s contact with shaking hands, his throat dry as he put the phone to his ear. The bickering at the door was getting louder and louder. Noodle was reading the woman the riot act. Tessie emerged from the lounge again, now looking at him with a frown. “What’s goin’ on, Dad?” she asked softly, glancing over at the front door.

He shook his head, hearing the phone ring from the other end. “Dun’ worry ‘bout it, Tess. Tryin’ t’ get t’ da bottom of sumfink...” When Murdoc’s rough voice was heard from the other end, 2D swallowed hard, his own voice momentarily failing him. He took a deep breath. “Listen, mate, we need ya here pronto. Might want t’ come ‘lone...”

*****************************

The situation was bad and seemed to only be getting worse. Murdoc found himself at the kitchen table in his home, surrounded by his closest friends and Hailey. None of them were smiling at him. As a matter of fact, if looks could kill, he would have dropped dead about a dozen times by now. He should have just gone over to their house like they’d asked but he’d been busy, Russ was over for a visit and encouraged them to come to the house early since they’d been planning on coming over later anyway. It hadn’t even occurred to him in those moments that something bad was happening. It was only when they had arrived that he realized something was terribly wrong and Noodle was out for blood. She’d stalked towards him and he’d been frozen in place at the door, like a fucking deer caught in the headlights as she closed the distance between them, arm drawn back as if she were about to slap him. Stu had dragged him from the doorway, whispering the reasons for their visit and though Murdoc had tried like hell to keep it all under wraps, there was no disguising Noodle’s rage or the questioning looks he’d gotten from Hailey. He’d told Hailey only because he’d been given little choice in the matter. Alec had overheard them and now even Alec was staring at him in disgust. His own fucking kid, imagine that! “I'm tellin' you lot I never touched her,” he insisted, looking around at the angry and disgusted faces. “Never saw her b’fore today.”

Noodle sighed, but said nothing. Murdoc shifted his gaze to Hailey, who merely sat there. Her expression mostly unreadable as she looked at the photo of the woman and child. Never before had he wanted to see some hint of emotion there, something to give him an idea of what was going through her head. At least if he had an idea of what she was feeling, he could gauge his next steps. She’d been dead silent since he’d told her what was going on. He could handle rage, he could handle even tears, but this cold and unreadable silence was killing him! He could tell by the looks on everyone else’s face that they didn’t believe him and he could deal with that, but he needed to know whether or not Hailey believed him. He’d proven himself, hadn’t he? Temptations galore had crossed his path through the years and he’d never once caved to that temptation. He could have easily helped himself to any one of many who still hinted interest but he hadn’t. He might have flirted a bit here or there, but taking it further hadn’t crossed his mind in years. And certainly never considered it during the charity gig. There’d been a lot going on at home, but he never once thought that gave him a pass to go and fuck someone else. Yet this woman – this _insanely young_ woman – had come out of nowhere claiming her seven year old son was his. Claiming they’d hooked up the weekend of the Manchester charity show. Had the boy been older, nobody would have really questioned it. The woman, only nineteen or twenty at the time, claimed that she had met up with the then fifty-three year old Murdoc in the pub he’d been at with Cass. And it was clear by the looks on everyone’s face that they were leaning on believing her over him.

“She's claiming the boy's yours,” Noodle whispered, not bothering to hide the anger in her voice. “And she's not backing down at the threat of a paternity test.”

“She's mental,” Murdoc spat, shoving his hands into his hair, teeth clamping down into his lower lip. “Why won't any of you believe me? I wouldn't do an'thin' t' hurt Hailey an' the kids....” He’d seen the picture of the kid and he couldn’t see anything in that boy’s looks that said he had Niccals DNA in him. Both Alec and Amy – both of whom looked almost _nothing_ alike – even shared bits here and there that were clearly from him. The kid in the picture looked like his Mum and that was all Murdoc could see. He knew genetics were weird and a crapshoot the majority of the time, but surely if this kid had Niccals DNA they would see _something_ that stood out!

Russel frowned, but thankfully hadn’t said much on the matter. This was fucking embarrassing, that’s what it was. This was supposed to be a fun gathering! Russ rarely ever got to leave New York for anything between his record label and home life. This was supposed to be a week long holiday of get togethers with all of them. Yet here he was, now interrogating Murdoc with the rest of them over some mental bird who was claiming her crotch dropling was his. “Then why would she lie about it, Muds?” he asked finally. “Like Noodle said, she's not backing down at the threat of a paternity test. Are you sure you didn't mess around when you and the others were in Manchester?”

“Fuckin' A, NO!” Murdoc snapped, slamming his fist against the table. “Look...I can count on my fuckin' fingers an' toes how many women I've declined. An' this girl was a fuckin' kid. Not even twenty years old. I was over fifty!”

2D frowned, staring at Murdoc now with a puzzled look. “Age never really stopped you b'fore, Muds.”

“You just shut it,” Murdoc snapped, lighting a cigarette with trembling hands. “I can't say 'nough that this whole mess is pure rubbish. I dun' know her. Never met her. An' I sure as fuck didn't sleep with her!” His eyes shifted over to where Alec was still standing. Meeting the seventeen year old’s glare, the boy diverted his eyes. This was too much. His own kid refused to look him in the eyes..

Hailey let out a sigh, dropping the photo to the table and covering her face with her hands. She’d been so cold and silent since Stu and Noodle’s arrival that he had actually perked up at the sound of her voice. Hopes dashed when she kept her hands on her face, a strange noise coming from her. The mask was cracking. If not for the seriousness of the situation, he would have found this intriguing. This was the same woman who’d bitten off part of a pirate’s face and spit it back at him. She’d faced death in the face and told him to fuck off. Yet here she was ready to crack over the possibility of infidelity. But he hadn’t done anything, that was what irritated him the most. He had never seen this woman in his life. They’d faced infidelity before, both of them guilty of this, but that had been like a decade ago. They’d both been nobs to each other at that time. They’d gotten past it. If they could past actually fucking around on each other a decade ago, they could get past this because he hadn’t touched the fucking girl! The charity gig had given him barely enough fucking free time to wank off, let alone enough time to find some random bird to fuck.

Murdoc frowned when her hands fell to the table and her pained expression was revealed. He slowly reached out, his fingers brushing against her hand, flinching back from her when she jerked her hand away, green eyes flashing at him. Pulling his hand back, he rubbed at his temples. This was giving him a fucking head-ache. Why did this strange woman show up now trying to cause problems in his life? If she’d been so certain he’d fathered the brat, why wait until now? He still believed she was a liar and only out to make a buck but if she truly had wanted to fuck his life over, why not do it eight years ago? How many other suckers did she fuck with through the years, trying to plant her kid on them? “I wish you would believe me,” he whispered, his voice cracking as the emotion came too close to the surface. “I'm tellin' the truth....”

“You said it yourself then,” Hailey muttered, meeting his gaze. “If you didn’t get out of the house, you’d go mental.” Oh, why did she have to throw that in his face? It had been a small ripple in the grand scheme of their lives, hadn’t it? But the words had cut, which he assumed was her intention. He had said those very words to her, had he not? Rushing out to do that charity event because everyone in the house had been driving him fucking bonkers. Hailey had been a mess, though he couldn’t fully remember why. Alec’s appointments and issues had started to wear down on him. Amy was still a barely verbal Wild Cat, tear-assin’ through the house in her skivvies.

“That’s not fair, Hailey,” he whispered back, hating the strained sound of his voice. “I didn’t use the weekend as a free pass t’ fuck someone else. That gig had us busy from sun-up t’ sun-down. I didn’t even have time t’ use the toilet much less find time t’ shag some random bird.”

“No need t’ lie ‘bout it,” Alec snapped. Everyone had looked up at the sound of his voice. Murdoc had almost completely forgotten he was there with them. Judging by the surprised looks on everyone else’s face, they clearly had forgotten he was there too. Still resting against the wall in the kitchen, Alec leaned forward into his cane, glaring hard at Murdoc. “Think I dun’ remember? Mum was a mess an’ you even told me if an’thin’ went wonky, t’ call Stu’s parents. So eager t’ escape, you left a mentally unstable woman in charge of two kids so you could run off an’ play. Can’t tell me you didn’t see that weekend as a vacation. Probably nailed the bird your first night there.”

“Better watch yourself, boy,” Murdoc snapped, rising from the table. He paused when he realized everyone was staring at him again. “Look, we got wrangled in t’ that charity event months before thins’ started gettin’ weird at home...I didn’t just bail.” He flashed a hard look over at Alec, bristling at the boy. “You lot knew it was comin’ up so dun’ you dare act like it just popped up outa nowhere an’ I happily trotted out!” Christ, why were Stu, Noodle and Russ now looking at him like he was pond scum? That’s right – Hailey hadn’t been quite right. Something had been going on, but he couldn’t remember what exactly it was. If it had been another episode, he would have tried to cancel or make arrangements for the kids, but he obviously knew Hailey would be okay. “Not sure what you’re on ‘bout an’way, Alec. Your Mum’s a’ways a fuckin’ mess.”

There was a flicker of surprise across Alec’s hardened expression, his eyes narrowing dangerously as he moved away from the wall and around the table. “You really dun’ remember? How ‘bout I refresh your fuckin’ memory, you old fuckin’ tosser. She was on new meds an’ she was completely out of it. I _did_ have t’ call Rachel an’ Dave, remember? You had t’ pick us up from there!” He paused just behind Hailey, his eyes still steely as he glared Murdoc down. “Here’s what you probably dun’ know ‘bout how that weekend went for us...she’d wandered out t’ the woods in the middle of the night, screamin’ an’ carryin’ on. I had t’ go an’ try t’ bring her inside. Rachel had t’ talk her down when they came t’ get us b’cause she was holdin’ a knife an’ threatenin’ t’ slice her wrists an’ then went off ‘bout how Amy was a mistake an’ she was gonna fix that mistake. We were fuckin’ terrified!”

Murdoc opened is mouth to retort but the words died on his lips. Wait...what? Why hadn’t anyone told him what had happened? He remembered things had gotten a little rocky and Stu’s parents had picked up the kids, but nobody had told him that it had reached that point. He remembered the events a bit more clearly now, remembering that things had gotten hectic in the house and that Hailey had started new meds. It had been why she had been so out of it. The doctor had changed up Hailey’s meds and she had been a weepy and snippy banshee for days because it usually took a week or two for her to level out. Blinking, he looked down at Hailey, who was staring down at that photo. “Why didn’t an’one tell me? I woulda came right back.”

Alec's hardened expression softened. “B’cause, if you were so willin’ t’ take off when you knew she wasn’t a hundred percent right, chances were you probably wouldn’t have dropped it t’ come back for that. You were well ‘ware Mum wasn’t well an’ you left an’way.”

Murdoc shook his head, lowering his gaze and unwilling to meet the stares around him. Great. Just lovely. Getting called out and being made to look like a total piece of shit in front of those close to him. Someone should have called him, though. Someone should have told him what happened. He may have been going out of his mind with everything going on at the house, but he wouldn’t have left them if he had even an inkling that Hailey was dangerous. And he certainly didn’t look at the Manchester gig as some jolly vacation where he could dip his wick. He reached out and grabbed the picture from the table, staring at the smiling blond woman with the little boy. There was no way. Just no way this was possible. Everything felt like it was caving in on him now and he fucking hated that feeling. This bird wasn’t even backing down when he demanded a paternity test. Things had been rough at home, sure, but he never once ventured off with anyone. He’d either been on stage, at his hotel or at the pub with Cass. He’d barely had time to himself and his whole family seemed to believe he’d somehow found the time to fuck some woman. A woman who was far too fucking young for him. “Look, I know thins’ were bad then, but I swear I never saw that girl, let ‘lone touched her...”

There wasn’t much more to discuss on the matter. He’d said his piece and everyone else had said theirs. As the afternoon hours ticked by, people started to trickle out. Stu, Noodle and Tess were the first to leave with Russ finally departing a short time later. It was now just Murdoc, Hailey and the kids. He actually kind of wished the others were still here. At least they were vocal with how they felt. Hailey was cold and silent to him. Alec was cold and silent. The only one who acted like everything was okay was Amy, but that was only because she had no clue. He hadn’t even wanted Alec in the loop, but the boy had insisted. Murdoc didn't know what hurt worse, Hailey not believing him or Alec not believing him. Who was he kidding? He could handle Hailey’s cold shoulder, but Alec refusing to believe him was a blow he hadn’t been prepared for. Alec had worshiped the ground he walked on since he was born and now the young man wouldn't even look him in the face. His own son doubted him. It was a rotten fucking deal, that’s what it was. After all he’d done for them. He’d gone above and beyond proving himself, had he not? Even when they’d fallen to their lowest point, when it could have been so fucking easy to say he’d had enough and walk away, he’d chosen to stay. Chosen to work things out and try like hell to salvage a crumbling relationship. Alec was fortunate because he’d been only five or six at the time and had no memory of just how bad it had gotten. Arguing, fighting, both of them fucking around on the side because they were irate at each other.

Christ, Hailey had threatened to harm herself and then Amy? Called her a mistake? He should be furious over this, but he was more worried than anything. It had been years ago now, but he was just learning about it and it was fresh for him. Much like this crazy bitch and her kid. Fresh for them all because she was saying he did something he knew he hadn’t done, claiming it had happened eight years ago. The timing of her claim just happened to coincide with his own personal life rocking on some shaky ground. He’d been unfaithful before so he could almost see how Hailey would be so quick to believe the woman’s claims. If some random bloke showed up at his doorstep claiming he’d fucked Hailey several years ago, he would probably assume the man was truthful because Hailey had also been unfaithful. Quite the pair they were, eh?

Late afternoon gave way to evening. Evening gave way to night. Dinner was tasteless, the mood as icy as Alec's and Hailey's demeanor. In an effort to escape their acidic gazes, he went about getting Amy ready for bed, helping her go through her book collection for something to read and feeling warm and comfortable as they lay side by side in her narrow bed with his feet hanging over the end, reading her a book that Hailey had read at her age. Some ghosty story about a dead girl, a pond and a rude little stepsister who almost becomes a victim of the ghost girl. It was actually a pretty dark book. This was made for kids? Amy enjoyed it though and he reasoned that was all that mattered. After Amy had finally curled up and started to doze, he found himself standing at the top of the stairs, just out of sight. He could hear Alec and Hailey whispering to one another, their words escaping his ears. Lowering his head, he started to step down the stairs when he froze, hearing a noise that was almost unfamiliar to him. Muffled, almost choking sounds that finally got louder and louder. He couldn't even clearly recall the last time he had heard the sound.

Hailey's cold and collected exterior had finally cracked and her sobs were now echoing through the kitchen. Just beneath the soul wrenching sounds was Alec's voice, trying to calm her. These weren’t the sobs of someone in the throws of a manic episode, this was pain. She was truly really hurt by what he was being accused of doing. With a heavy sigh, Murdoc slowly walked down the stairs, pausing just at the bottom, seeing both Hailey and Alec sitting at the table, his arms around her, rocking slowly as he tried to comfort her. Father and son regarded each other for a long moment before Murdoc finally dropped his head, unable to see the near seething look of hate the boy had. He trudged out to the lounge, almost feeling as if he were walking to his own execution. Found guilty before even getting a chance to prove his case. He’d had hope that maybe trying to be a half arsed good person, they might actually give him the benefit of the doubt. But nope, not him. Because he was a fool in his younger years, it meant that he was a fool in his older years, right?

***********************

It had been a cautious four weeks waiting for that damned DNA test. Neither Hailey or Alec went with him, leaving him to face this bullshit alone. But at least once this was done, they could move on with their lives. He’d gone into one room with a medical assistant, the woman and her kid into another, the procedure little more than using a plain cotton swab to swipe inside his cheek and away he went. The results came back after about a month. He was elated when the results finally showed up in the post. After several weeks of sleeping on the sofa, he was ready to scream. He was exhausted from not sleeping well, burnt out with Hailey and Alec’s constant cold shoulders and just wanted this mess fucking over with. With shaking hands, he tore the envelope open and pulled out the sheet of paper. Four or five paragraphs of medical jargon that he really didn't understand, but there at the bottom, the thing he sought. Chances of him being the kid's father: Zero percent. Zilch.

He stared at the paper for a long time, the impact of it not really sinking in until he finally blinked. Their DNA didn’t even register as distant relatives or whatever. Zero point zero zero zero. He’d been right, of course. He knew he hadn’t touched the slag and everyone now owed him one big fucking apology – especially Hailey and Alec. Matter of fact, he had some chores lined up that Alec could do as payback for being such a little twat to him about this. Teach the boy to treat his old man like slime. He continued to stare at the letter, torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to cry. This meant he could rub it in that psycho bitch's face. Look at the fucking trouble she caused. Her accusations alone had almost torn his family apart. If they lived in the states, he might have even considered suing her for the hell she’d caused his family. He’d been walking on eggshells for weeks with his wife and kid. This bitch owed him a massive apology for disrupting their lives like this!

Rushing into the house, he threw the papers into Hailey's face. “Read it!” he demanded. Slowly, Hailey took the paperwork from his hand, staring at the results. Though her expression hadn’t changed as her eyes skimmed through the letter, he was almost certain he saw her cheeks flare a brilliant pink from embarrassment. Good, be embarrassed. He hoped she felt like crap after how she's treated him. He leaned in, glancing at the paper again with a wide grin. “So...what do you say, Hailey? I can’t hear it...”

“I'm sorry,” she whispered, setting the paper down to the counter.

He shook his head, a bitter laugh erupting from him as he snatched up the paper. “Oh, no, no, no....it dun’ work like that, woman. You treat me like rubbish, won’t look at me, won’t talk t’ me, won't even share a bed with me for an _entire fuckin' month_ , the truth comes out – somethin’ I’d been tellin’ you for weeks – an' all you can say is _you’r_ _e_ _sorry_?”

Hailey made a noise, closing her eyes a moment. “What else am I supposed to say, Murdoc?” she asked in a low whisper.

“I’ll help ya,” he snapped, glowering at her. “How ‘bout _Mu_ _rdy_ _, I'm so sorry I've been an ice queen t' you an' turned your own boy 'gainst you. How can I ever make it up t' you._..?”

“You're being unfair,” she muttered. “Really unfair.”

“The hell I am,” he snapped, lighting a cigarette. “I told you that bitch was a nutter, did I not? Told you I never touched her. I reckon I've done more than prove myself over the last decade or so, yeah?”

“What the hell do you want me to do?” Her voice had taken on a hard edge but she appeared to be catching herself. No way was she going to twist this around to make him out to be the bad guy. Sighing, she gestured at the letter. “Christ, Murdoc....we started as a fucking hook up. You’ve fucked around before and you bailed for a gig when things were falling apart over here. This pretty little skank pops up and claims some brat she has is yours. What was I supposed to believe?”

Scoffing, he shoved the letter back in her face. “You fucked ‘round too, dun’ you dare deny it. You weren’t an angel an’more than I was.” He tossed the letter back onto the counter and raked a hand through his hair. As far as he was concerned, he was fucking vindicated. He’d never lied to them about shit. “Christ, thins’ were rocky, but it didn’t mean I was gonna go an’ fuck the first thin’ that crossed my path!” The charity show had been a relief because it gave him the chance to clear his head. That was all he had needed. Probably could have handled it better then, but he seriously felt he would have gone mental had he stayed at the house. Easier to just get out for a few days and get his own head in order. If anything, it made him realize that he missed them, missed the house, his bed. Playing the few shows they did had also helped relieve the tension his body had felt at the time. “B’sides...you lot were the ones who never told me ‘bout what happened while I was gone. I woulda come home if someone had told me.”

“I don’t even remember any of that,” she muttered, lowering her head. “Had no idea until Alec said something. I knew I was in bad shape, but didn’t realize it had been that bad.” She pressed her head against his shoulder, curling her arm around his waist. “I'm really sorry. For scaring you, scaring the kids and acting like an ass.”

“You're forgiven,” he muttered, cracking a small smile. “Now get Alec down here so I can rip him a new one. There's only one arsehole in this house. An' it's not him.”


	13. The Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: CHILD ABUSE, REFERENCED CSA, REFERENCED RAPE

**_~1972~_** The interior of the flat was sweltering. Every move made Murdoc break out in sweat. He didn’t want to move. He didn’t even want to breathe. Heavy and suffocating heat. He had no idea how hot it was inside but even with it being like a bloody oven inside, he reasoned it was better than the bone numbing cold that he and his older brother endured during the winter months since their father was too drunk and too cheap to get the furnace repaired. One good thing about the sweltering heat was that it made his hunger non existent. That was another thing both he and Hannibal were used to. Their father wasn't known for keeping the cupboards stocked and what little food he managed to bring in was often strictly rationed. They were lucky if they got to eat once a day. Murdoc was underweight for his age and this was just another thing on top of a list of reasons the other kids at school picked on him. The flat reeked of body odor, booze and despair and this stench hung around him like a cloud. He was a full head shorter than most of his peers, so he was constantly mistaken for a three or four year old. Most of the kids in class were just starting to learn shit, much like him, but they’d spotted a soft target immediately and between his small stature, frequently growling stomach and his smell, there was never any shortage of little pricks taunting him or pushing him around.

Hannibal was more fortunate. At seventeen, he was old enough to find work and this helped him acquire meals outside of the home and with this access to food, had bulked up considerably over the last few years. This had given Han an advantage, now being as big as their father and just as violent. Six year old Murdoc didn't have that luxury. He had to move in stealth and only take what wouldn’t be noticed. There were days when this wasn’t an option due to the limited amount of food found in the cupboards and he often had to decide which would be worse: going hungry or facing their father's wrath for “stealing” the food. Those days were days where he often went hungry.

Jacob Sebastian Niccals – or Sebastian Jacob Niccals, whatever he called himself – was out for the evening, most likely having his way with some of the local bar slags at the pubs he frequented. Murdoc was glad for the solitude. And glad that he wasn't getting dragged along for the ride and face further humiliation with those ridiculous talent shows his father whored him out with. Glad to be alone. Han off doing his own thing, the burly teen rarely ever home anymore other than to bring their father a few quid and to make sure Murdoc hadn't gotten into his filthy and rotten smelling bedroom. Murdoc knew the pecking order of the house and knew he was the bottom of the food chain. He knew he was a burden, both Han and his father telling him as much every chance they had. Han resented him for being an additional mouth to feed, but also glad their father had found a new punching bag when the boy had arrived on their doorstep as an infant. Murdoc knew that Han had been the one to care for him mostly, but by the time Murdoc was walking and talking, he’d been left to his own devices and often crossing their paths when both elder Niccals were out for blood and needed a target.

Most of those who lived in the building knew the Niccals boys and pitied them. Murdoc was a thin and spare boy. Pale, shadows burned beneath his dark eyes from both little sleep and malnutrition, his black hair shaggy, greasy and unkempt. Sometimes when the neighbors seen the frail little boy, he was sporting new bruise on his face or a broken bone. Nobody dared called out his father for the injuries. It just wasn’t something you did. Everyone minded their business. As far as the local constable was concerned, how a man handled his children was his business and you must have done something pretty bad if your father flung you around by your arm hard enough to break the bone or kick you so hard, it broke ribs. He’d only been taken to the hospital a few times for the broken bones, his father unconcerned with the damage, sometimes demanding that Han treat the injuries. The problem with that was that Han would often get irritated by his tears and rebreak something that often led to Murdoc passing out from the pain. Life was pain, he learned. If you’re not in pain, you’re not alive. But you could never show that you were in pain because that was weakness. No tears. No cries. Swallow the pain and own it. Prove to them that you were strong.

Murdoc knew he didn’t look much like Jacob or Hannibal. Though he saw himself as a scrawny runt, he did discover that many of the building residents found the him handsome in his own way. He could only assume this was because he didn’t share as many traits as the older Niccals men. Some said they could see features that were clearly his mother's. His nose was blunt and somewhat upturned while both Jacob and Han had long and grotesque noses that looked like something out of a comic. His face was more narrow and his mouth a little fuller. He had the same prominent chin that both Han and his father had, the same oily black hair and maybe the same shape of his ears, but that was where the similarities stopped. And while his father and brother had thick and stubby looking paws for hands, Murdoc's were amazingly small and fragile looking, his fingers long. The little old lady who lived across from them said he had pianist's hands. Told him if he ever got access to an instrument, he could do great things. It was nice she thought so highly of him, but he knew he’d be a nothing just like Hannibal. His father told him as much.

Murdoc let out a sigh, wishing the little old lady across the hall was home. She always had a hot meal for him and soft words. He liked her because she was one of the few neighbors in the building who stood up to Jacob and Hannibal, willing to tear strips from them if they so much as touched a hair on little Murdoc’s head. She always offered Murdoc a place to hide when things at home got to be too much to handle. Unfortunately, the raging heat of summer had taken its toll on her and she was gone on holiday to visit family in some region of the country that was a little cooler. He knew she’d been planning on being gone and had hoped she would take him with, but that never happened. So he was stuck in this decrepit flat that continued to rise in temperature with little to no food.

He was bored. He was so very bored.

His tiny bedroom had little in the way of toys. At least nothing that was entertaining enough to keep his interest and take his mind off his growling stomach. What few things he had were acquired by Jacob and his frequent trips into the rubbish bins around town. A broken duck on a string, some train that was missing its wheels, and a bath toy that was originally intended for a toddler. But it had all been better than nothing, he reasoned. At least the drunken fool thought of him enough to bring them home. Of course, he probably only did it to keep Murdoc out of his hair. Han told him once that Jacob had always been a drunk who beat on Hannibal frequently, but the man did indeed have kind moments. Han remembered them but Murdoc did not. It was also fuel for Han to remind him that he was a mistake and unwanted and if he’d never shown up, things wouldn’t be this bad. Murdoc wished like hell that he’d never been dropped off at the Niccals’ house. Wished he’d never been born. Maybe Jacob wouldn’t always be so angry and mean and Hannibal wouldn’t feel the need to compete with another mouth for food and could have savored those kind moments from their father that disappeared shortly after Murdoc’s arrival into their lives. Unwanted and unloved no matter how hard he tried to prove himself. All he wanted was Jacob to look at him and smile and tell him he was a good lad. Tell him that he loved him. Why not send him away somewhere if they didn’t want him? There was one of those places just across town, a place where kids went when they were unwanted or born to _whore mothers_.

His mother was a whore mother. Jacob pointed this out every chance he had. You sound like your _whore mother_ , always whining. You look like your _whore mother_. Your _whore mother_ didn’t want you so she left you with me. Why did your _whore mother_ leave you here when I made it clear I didn’t want you? Murdoc frowned, feeling the immediate bite of tears. He used to wish his mother would come back. Sat by his window day in and day out, wishing and praying to whatever God existed that she would come back and take him from this miserable life. He no longer bothered with wishing and praying for her to rescue him. She obviously didn’t love him either and wanted nothing to do with him. She was a whore mother. Only a whore mother would leave her kid to the mercy of an abusive drunk. He hoped she was dead. And he hoped that she died a painful death. How could a mother leave their kid and walk away? Was he so ugly and despicable that his own mother wasted no time in abandoning him on this brute’s doorstep?

Sliding from his battered little bed, Murdoc crept from his room and down the hall. His father would have a fit if he knew Murdoc had left his room, but what was he supposed to do? He was bored and he was hungry. Surely he could find something he could hide away without it being noticed. He padded down the corridor silently, feeling his breath catch when he passed the door that led to his father’s room. This was stupid, the drunk old fool wasn’t even home. There was no reason to freeze up like this. He exhaled loudly in the silent flat, continuing his journey through the tiny flat and reaching the kitchen. Staring around, he covered his eyes and pointed. “Eenie, meanie, miney....mo!” Pulling his hand away from his face, he stared at the cupboard he’d pointed to, smiling and pulling a chair over. He needed to climb up onto the counters to reach it. The chosen cupboard yielded very little in the way of foodstuffs. A block of cheese wrapped in its wax paper that revealed itself to be covered in mold. A box of cereal that was not only stale, but reduced to mere crumbs from the times both he and Han had raided it in an effort to keep fed. A bag of what might have been some flour in another life and unless his eyes were deceiving him, he was sure he was seeing stuff move in the bag.

Sighing, he climbed down from the counter and started to hunt in the lower cabinets, finally spotting an abandoned quarter portion of biscuits. He uttered a sharp noise of surprise at the discovery, snatching them up and shoving them into his pocket. Jacob must have tossed them in there a few days ago and had forgotten about them because they hadn’t been in there the last time Murdoc had checked. Moving on to the ancient icebox, he wrinkled his nose at the bottle of curdled milk and what he was sure was some leftover chipped beef that had seen better days.

He could practically smell the biscuits in his pocket, his stomach now rumbling and rolling in anticipation. He might as well had found gold in the flat. Real biscuits! He only ever got these when the lunch lady at school offered them up, pitying the tiny and malnourished boy who rarely ever brought a lunch and couldn’t afford to get the lunch offered at school. Smiling, he nibbled on one of the biscuits as he rushed back to his room with his ill gotten goods. He had to take his time with it. Savor it. Chances were, it would be all he'd get to eat for another day or two, or unless Han was kind enough to bring him something from the filthy diner he worked at. There were maybe four biscuits total leftover in the packaging but Murdoc didn’t give a toss. He’d make them last, even if he had to only eat one now and try to stretch them out through the rest of the week. If he could make it to the weekend, he could visit Han at work and the nice dinner lady who sometimes gave him a bowl of soup or a cheese toastie. He liked the dinner lady. Her face was painted like a China doll, frosty white with brilliant red lipstick and blue-green eye shadow. She was older, probably older than his father, but it was hard to tell because of her make up. He just knew she was kind. Her voice was husky and raw from too many cigarettes, cooing at him and smoothing his hair as he greedily ate up whatever food she offered while Han rolled his eyes in the kitchen.

Chewing happily on the biscuit, he allowed his thoughts to wander, picturing a future where he could escape from this sodding town. Stoke On Trent was a cesspool. If you were lucky, you could work at the pottery factory. It was what Stoke was known for. Outsiders called Stoke residents Clayheads. He never understood that because not everyone worked in the pottery place. He wouldn’t be caught dead working at that factory. He’d seen some of the men who worked there, skin seemingly permanently orange from the terra-cotta and having a particular odor that he didn’t find very pleasant. Probably still better than how his home smelled, but not something he wanted to smell all the time. No, once he was grown, he was going to get out of here. He didn’t know what he was going to do, but he wasn’t going to hang out here in Stoke waiting for it to happen. Maybe he would do like the neighbor lady suggested and pick up an instrument. She’d taught him a little bit of piano and he’d found that creating some notes came quite naturally. Must have been a good thing because the neighbor lady was delighted at the tunes he’d been able to play.

Mostly lost in his thoughts and the sweetness of the biscuit, it took him a moment to realize he was hearing noises just outside the flat. From outside his room, he heard the familiar foot-fall of his father as the man stumbled into the flat. Stomach quaking, he shoved the remaining three biscuits under his pillow and pulled the blankets over him. Struggling to control his quickened breathing, he swallowed the biscuit still in his mouth and slammed his eyes shut. The foot-fall was unsteady and stumbling. The old bastard was drunk, which was normal for their home. Always drunk. Sometimes he came home alone and reeking of the old pub and other times he came home with some slag on his arm, the woman’s make up reminding Murdoc of the dinner lady, but these women always looked at him with disdain. Jacob usually chased both him and Han out of the lounge when he brought a woman home. Both Hannibal and Murdoc had learned quick to make themselves scarce when Jacob returned from his drinking bouts.

“MURDOC!” Jacob bellowed from the foyer. “Get out here, you useless lil' sod!”

The boy let out a small squeak, pulling the blankets tighter around him. Maybe if he just lay real still and quiet, Jacob would think him asleep and leave him be. Sometimes it worked and his father would just go find somewhere in the flat to sleep his drunk off. It didn’t always work, phantom memories of the man’s fist striking him through the blanket making him cringe inwardly and bite his lip against the whimper that threatened. From the feigned safety of his blanket, he listened intently, hearing the heavy boots as they walked unsteadily down the narrow hallway, stopping just outside his door. He peered out from the edge of the blanket, watching as the dark beneath his door lit up from the faint glow of corridor light as Jacob turned the switch. “Murdoc!” the drunk barked. “I know yer hidin' boy! GET UP!” When his bedroom door flung open, Murdoc curled into the blanket as much as he dared. Maybe if the stupid old man was drunk enough, he would think Murdoc was not even there and just go away. Swallowing the remaining crumbs that lingered in his mouth, Murdoc listened in the darkness around him. He could hear Jacob’s heavy breathing as the man teetered into the small closet-sized bedroom. Murdoc could almost picture him, wobbling where he stood, eyes bloodshot and bleary as he looked around for the missing runt he hated having in his home. Murdoc exhaled slowly, chancing another peek from the edge of the blanket, spotting Jacob standing in the dead center of his room and glowering down at the blanket. “I smell food in here, boy,” Jacob slurred, lips curling from his twisted teeth. “Whadya steal from me cupboards?” When silence greeted him, his sneered, his voice rising. “Gonna answer me or what!”

From his vantage point beneath the blanket he saw Jacob's hand coming at him. Uttering a squeak, he scrambled out from under the blankets and across the bed, kicking over the pillow and revealing the small stash of food. He could hear Jacob stumbling just behind him, growling like an animal in his alcohol induced rage. He needed to get clear of him, find a place where he could hide until Jacob forgot about him and went somewhere to sleep it off. He knew his chances were slim, but the chance was there all the same. If he could get to the front door of the flat, he could escape and take off down the street. He had a few hiding spots within the city, mostly condemned and partially torn down homes from an area the council had started to level in an early attempt to establish some new council housing. He wasn’t sure why they abandoned the projects, leaving some of the old buildings only partially demolished, but he was glad they still stood because Jacob never looked for him in that part of town.

Jacob closed in right behind him and Murdoc felt one of the man’s beefy paws close around the back of his shirt, pulling him backwards. The ground left his feet and the room spun in his field of vision. He hit hard against the wall, dropping to the floor in a heap, biting his lips against the pain. Control it, own it. Never let the old bastard see how much it hurt. Never give him the satisfaction. When Jacob landed a blow into the side of his head, he saw stars and darkness for a split second before seeing nothing but the man’s twisted and furious face mere inches from his. “You gonna tell me the truth now, you pathetic little toe rag!”.

“Fuck you, you drunk ol' tosser,” Murdoc whispered as he rubbed the side of his head.

Jacob flinched, his eyes narrowing. Another blow came down, the flat spinning in his vision as Jacob snatched him up by the shirt. “ _What was that_?” he screeched, spittle flying out of his mouth.

Murdoc glowered at Jacob defiantly, the old drunk’s face swimming in his blurring vision. He’d never stood up to him before and he knew he would pay dearly for it, but it felt so damned good to see that look of shock on Jacob’s face. Laughing and wiping the blood from his mouth, Murdoc sneered back. “You heard me, you pathetic waste of skin drunk!”

The flat spun in his vision again as he felt his body his the floor hard, Jacob practically roaring in his fury. A boot hit his ribs with such force, the air exploded out of him. Gasping, he struggled to get another lungful of air as the boot connected again. Jacob's thick and stubbed fingers tangled into his hair, pulling him to his feet. Still reeling from the pain in his chest and stomach, Murdoc barely could get his legs to work, his world fading out, going numb. Half walking, half dragged, he could barely hear Jacob's slurred voice, thick with rage. “Steal from me, talk back t' me....Yer lucky I dun' just fuckin' kill you, boy!” he snarled, dragging Murdoc down the hall. “Teach you t' talk back t' me. I think a night or two in the closet will teach you a lesson, you theivin' lil' shit!”

Murdoc weakly tried to dig his heels into the threadbare carpet of the hallway, hands reaching up and clawing at the calloused and leathery flesh of Jacob's hand. Not the closet. It was damp and smelled of must and mold. He would be sick for days once he was let out. Strange things crawled on him and bit him in the dark. He hated the dark. So dark and so wet and full of things that hurt him. “No, not the closet,” he gasped, managing to catch a corner and feeling Jacob pry his fingers away. “I won’t be bad ‘gain! Not the dark! I’m scared of the dark!” They were just at the closet door, Jacob hauling Murdoc off his feet, slamming him into the wall, the blow stunning the boy. Hanging limply in Jacob's grasp, he heard the closet door getting flung open, the world going dark as Jacob flung him like a rag doll into the closet, slamming the door and locking it.

***************************

_**~1983~**_ Green eyes glistened against the orange glow of the flame as it danced on the match. The glow only exposed part of the little girl's face, the bruises looking like shadows. Outside the darkened room, she could hear both Charlie and Marie talking amongst themselves, watching some movie. The other kids were out there watching the movie. But not Hailey. She wasn't allowed, they told her. She wasn't one of their kids so she didn't get to watch the movie. Why? She had looked forward to seeing _The Secret of NIMH_ on their new cassette tape player. Why were they able to watch it but not her? Was it because they had adopted them all and were actually part of the family, something they made clear that she was not? They were supposed to treat her like one of the family, but they only did that when her social worker lady came to visit and see how she was doing. She wasn’t allowed to tell her about where the bruises came from, parroting whatever Marie demanded she tell her. Marie told her that if she told her social worker lady how she really got the bruises, they would take her out of there and put her away and never release her. She wasn’t sure if this was bad or good because while she wasn’t fond of the family she was living with, she enjoyed visiting the baby they were also fostering. She liked Clarissa. And the bed they let her use was comfortable. Much better than the last place. The last place she was in only gave her a hard army cot and a throw blanket. The bedroom they had shown her social worker lady was their guest room. They only took her in because she was what they called Special Needs and it apparently meant they got more money for taking her. Only instead of that nice bedroom with the plush pink bedding, she was cast away to the garage with an army cot and a bucket.

She usually didn’t think too much about the previous homes but the home before the army cot home had been really nice. Like really really nice. They had a daughter who was almost grown and Hailey had latched to her immediately. Rikki adored her. Rikki had begged her parents to let Hailey stay for good, maybe even adopt her. Hailey had so much fun with Rikki and her mom and dad. She missed that home. This was what a good home and good family was supposed to be like. But Hailey did things and said things that disturbed Rikki’s mom and dad. Hailey played with fire. So social worker lady came again to pick her up and move her along. Leaving Rikki’s for the fat and smelly lady who made her sleep in the garage and from there, landing at Charlie and Marie’s. Social worker lady said they were really good and had even adopted some of the kids placed with them. This had Hailey excited at first. She wasn’t sure about adoption, but it would be nice to have a place act like a real mom and dad to her. They were also in the process of having a baby placed with them. A real baby! Hailey had never seen a real baby before. Social worker lady said they usually didn’t place younger kids in the same homes as her because she needed so much attention but since she’d been doing so good, they felt Charlie and Marie could handle having her and a baby at their home.

The first week had been so nice. Soft bed. Hugs. Making her feel included. But not long after both her and Clarissa had been placed there, Charlie crept into her room. She didn't like what he did to her. It no longer hurt like it once did, but she always felt suffocated beneath him. Sometimes he would be on top of her and other times he would press her face down into the mattress. She sometimes cried while he did what he did because sometimes it did hurt. When she cried, he’d hiss at her to be quiet, sometimes hitting her if she couldn’t stop. At least he was gentler with Clarissa but she still cried whenever Charlie held her and sometimes Hailey could hear her crying when he went into her room. Marie caught him with Hailey once and there was hope that she would make Charlie stop, but all it earned her was a spanking with the thick belt and being called a whore, whatever that was.

At six years old Hailey was small for her size, but proportioned. Round face, large green eyes and a mass of dark hair that hung past her shoulders. At one point, her social worker lady thought she might be pretty enough to market for adoption. No such luck. Pretty as she was when they managed to wrestle her into an itchy dress and fight with her to get her unruly dark hair into braided pigtails, people saw something else when they looked at her with her scratches and bruises. They saw something else behind the eyes that seemed to be observing her surroundings with wary regard. There had been one family that took a chance with her, a home she’d been in prior to being placed with the awesome punk rocker girl. Told her if everything went well, she would stay with them forever. She would become legally their child but they would respect her desire to keep her first name, though the foster dad wanted to change it to something else. They had tried. Lots of hugging, lots of laughter. Taking her to a special doctor who encouraged the pretend mom to hug her and hold her and not let go. With the loss of control, Hailey had resisted, flailing and screeching against them as they forced her into their embraces. Fight or flight reflexes kicked into high gear when they held her for too long. No touch! Holding her down, forcing her to stay in their arms like the therapist lady said they should. Ignoring her cries and snarls. Ignoring her screams to be released. She didn't like it.

Hailey sat down by the crib, lighting another match so she would watch it burn. She enjoyed watching the flames. Flickers of blue, then orange and yellow. She liked the color yellow. When she became a grown up, she was going to have a yellow kitchen. Bright yellow with sunflowers. She looked up at the crib, smiling at Clarissa as she held up the flame. “Lookit the flame,” she whispered, holding it closer to the crib. Clarissa sat there, staring at her with wide but dull eyes. Her spirit was gone, Hailey could see it already. So sad. She understood all too well. She tried to protect Clarissa when she could. She knew what would make Charlie hurt and she grabbed it and pulled as hard as she could. But all she got for her efforts was another beating. And pretty soon, they started hitting her for every little thing. Even for stuff she didn’t do. Their kids blamed all sorts of stuff on her just so they could laugh at her while Marie hit her with whatever she had on hand or Charlie used the belt on her.

Lighting another match, she frowned in the darkness of the bedroom, hearing something exciting happening with the movie and everyone in the living room making noise. Still wasn’t fair that they wouldn’t let her watch the movie. She’d been wanting to watch _The Secret of NIMH_ since she’d seen the commercial for it on the television. Maybe Clarissa wanted to watch it too? She was still little, but she seemed to like the bright cartoons they sometimes watched together with the other kids. Clarissa, only eleven months old, merely stared on. Hailey didn't like seeing the lost look that the baby now had. She had been such a bubbly and happy baby when she came to this house and now she was silent and cold to everyone. Well, everyone except Hailey, at least until recently. Hailey made a habit of visiting the baby long after everyone was asleep in their beds. Holding the baby, rocking with her in the narrow little crib, singing some song she heard on the television.

Charlie's visits with the baby had started to affect Hailey's visits, Clarissa now becoming stiff and docile in Hailey's arms, eyes staring past her. Sometimes she would whine and want to be released, much like Hailey did in that home that was gonna make her theirs. It was only a matter of time before the baby started to resist everyone. Clarissa didn’t want to be touched and this hurt Hailey. Hailey loved her and wanted to keep her safe. She’d never felt this way with any of the other kids in the homes she’d been in, but she knew Clarissa was too small to protect herself. Deep down Hailey knew it was her job to protect her. Even if doing so made Charlie rougher with her during his visits or it made Marie beat her harder. She would take that pain, take that degradation herself if it meant Clarissa would be safe from them. But she was only six years old and there was only so much she could do. Pull Charlie’s wee-wee so it hurt him or jump onto his back and bite him. The last time she got between Charlie and the baby, Charlie had flung her across the room. She’d hit the wall so hard that she came around the following day, tied down to her bed with both Marie and Charlie in there with belts in their hand.

“Nobody's gonna save you, Clari,” Hailey whispered, lighting another match. “They'll let Charlie continue to hurt you. They'll let everyone hurt you.” She let out a small sigh, pushing herself to her feet. “It's too late for me but I can help you....” Clarissa's eyes followed Hailey as she lowered the side rails of the crib and reached in, grabbing the pillow. Gently, she nudged the baby down so she was laying on her back. She didn't want to do this, but knew there was no other choice. It was the only way she could save Clarissa. Save her from a lifetime of hurt. Blinking against the sting of tears, she closed her eyes, pressing the pillow over Clarissa's face. She tried desperately to block out the muffled cries, tears streaming down her cheeks as the little hands fluttered against her own, feet kicking against the crib mattress. “I'm so so so sorry,” she murmured, choking back a sob.

The baby continued to struggle beneath the pillow, her movements slowing. It seemed to take forever, the darkness around them the only thing concealing her. She didn’t know how long this would take and could only hope it would hurry up. More tears welling and falling as she pressed the pillow down harder, feeling Clarissa’s little hands now clawing against hers. With a final noise and kick of her feet, Clarissa finally went still beneath the pillow. Holding her own breath, she remained bent over the crib, still holding the pillow against the toddler’s face. Exhaling loudly in the dark and quiet room, she finally drew back, biting her lip against the sob. Part of her said she’d done something terrible but another part of her insisted it had to be this way. How else would she save her? How else could she protect her from knowing only pain and darkness? She couldn't stand to see the life and soul get ripped from Clarissa with each passing night. She would be at peace now. She wouldn't hurt anymore. Charlie couldn't hurt her anymore. Nobody could hurt her anymore.

The little girl knelt down and picked up the book of matches, lighting one and staring again at the dancing flame. Holding it carefully to the book, she watched as the sulfur sparked and the rest of the book ignited. Casting one last look at the lifeless little body within the crib, she dropped the matches within. She sat down onto the floor, watching as the flames began to catch and spread across the mattress and blankets. As the entire crib became consumed, she finally padded out of the room as silently as she’d entered, veering off to the little room she called her own and sat at the edge of the bed. Her suitcase was packed, her plush bunny now clutched in her lap. She knew she would be picked up tonight by the social worker lady. Whenever she did something wrong, they always came to get her. Hailey sat still as a statue, listening as the flames engulfed the crib in the room next to her own. She could smell the burning now.

The smoke alarm started beeping.

She didn't move, didn't speak. Maybe they would be too engrossed in the movie to notice the fire. Maybe it would mean her pain would end, too. She didn’t want to die, but maybe it was for the best? No more pain for her, right? And if it took Marie and Charlie also, it would be a good thing. People told her you went to Heaven or Hell when you died. Charlie and Marie would go to hell, but what about her? Would she go to hell too? Maybe God would look kindly on her for what she’d done. Maybe he wouldn’t be so mad at her for hurting a little baby. Was there a place in Heaven for kids like her? Would the smoke kill her first or would it be the flames? She frowned, cuddling her bunny against her. As long as she could take her bunny with. She loved her bunny. The social worker lady said the bunny had been in her crib when they’d found her with her real Daddy. It was a bunny her Momma had gotten for her. Her real Momma. Her real Momma who died having her. What if God was mad at her for killing her Momma? What if he made her go to hell for that? She didn’t mean to kill her Momma. She had just been a baby.

She could hear the kids screaming down the hall followed by the sounds of numerous foot fall and Marie's voice raising into an ear piercing screech. Hailey remained where she sat, wondering what was going on through the other side of her closed door, hearing cries, screams. “The baby! Oh my god, the baby!” More screams. Crying from one of their kids. Smoke was coming in from under her door. She could see a glow through the smoke and shadows. Everyone was running around. Everyone was crying. She sat there, watching the door, picturing what it was like on the other side as she listened to the cries, the screams and panic that was unfolding through-out the home. More foot fall coming down the hall. Her door flung open, Charlie standing there with smoke billowing around him. Hailey merely sat there, staring up at him with a defiant smile. “You can't hurt her anymore.”

Charlie lunged towards her, his hands clawed and outstretched as he crossed the short distance between them. “What did you do!” he roared, his hands closing around her cotton nightgown. “WHAT DID YOU DO!” Hailey cracked a smile, giggling. She got him. She got them all. She saved Clarissa. And now they would all die. Nobody would ever hurt her again. She would send Charlie and Marie to hell and hope that God was nice enough to let her go to Heaven so she could find her Momma. It was better this way. Charlie was still screaming and spitting in her face. He yanked her off her slippered feet, throttling her in the air. She ignored the pain of her neck and head whipping back and forth, her laughter rising above the roar of the flames as they further engulfed the house. Charlie continued to roar at her, his words no longer important. Over the roar of the flames and the shrill sounds of the smoke alarm, she could hear sirens blaring outside. Sirens from the fire trucks. She could even see the flashing lights in her window. The firemen were gonna rescue them. She wasn’t going to die after all. This meant the social worker lady would be here soon to take her somewhere else. She didn’t care where they took her, as long as they didn’t plan on leaving her there with Charlie and Marie. Maybe she would make Charlie stop screaming at her. Make him stop throttling her in the air. Her neck hurt. Breathing was hard because there was too much smoke. Charlie did finally stop screaming. He froze at the sounds of the sirens and flung her onto the bed. “You can die in here then!” he barked, slamming the door closed behind him.

Charlie was gone, Marie's screams vanishing. Hailey sat on the bed, watching the closed door with fresh tears welling in her eyes. They had left her. Left her to die. She curled onto the bed, still clutching her bunny and twirling a lock of hair as she hummed to herself. Would the smoke make her die first? Burning was painful. She didn’t want the flames to kill her. She peered up at her ceiling, the smoke thick above her. She couldn’t even see the popcorn ceiling or light fixture anymore. It hurt to breathe. She coughed against her bunny, curling further within herself as she tried to block out the rising warmth of the room and the smoke. Her door was starting to blacken, flames licking around the bottom. This was it, wasn’t it. She was going to die and find her Momma. Her Momma would make it all better. Hold her and keep all the bad stuff away.

“HAILEY!” barked a muffled and unfamiliar voice.

She looked over towards her closed door, flinching when someone kicked it down. A big and bulky person covered in heavy yellow clothes, goggles and mask on his face. His breathing made her think of Darth Vader. Perking her head up at the stranger, she merely smiled. He was moving towards her, pulling her into his arms. He started moving quickly through the house, towards the front door, the night air chilling her bared legs as they erupted from the house to a street crowded with half the neighbors, fire trucks and even an ambulance. From somewhere she couldn’t see, she could hear both Charlie and Marie screeching and cursing her, their cries echoing in the night air. So many cries and screams and chatter. Some of the medical people were approaching, closing in around her and the fireman. They laid her down onto a gurney, straps getting pulled out, her wrists and ankles bound to the railings on the stretcher with another strap going across her chest. This was new. Was this so she didn’t fall off the bed? The fireman who had rescued her was looking at her with tears in his eyes. Looking at her with a mixture of sympathy and disgust. “What did you do, Hailey?” he asked as he pulled his mask from his face. “Why?”

“It was the only way to get Charlie to stop hurting Clarissa...,” she whispered through a cough. Cracking another smile, she lay her head back onto the pillows as they shoved a mask onto her face. “It's too late for me, but I saved her.”

He was darting down the sidewalk at break-neck speed, traveling as fast as his long and thin legs could carry him. Those stupid enough to stand there like fools were shoved aside as he dashed down the pavement, heart pounding in his narrow chest. Half a block behind him were the local constable, huffing and puffing in their effort to keep up with the young man. They would catch him eventually. They always did. They knew who he was. Everyone knew who he was. The sixteen year old had given them issues since he was eleven or twelve. Following too bloody close in the footsteps of his father and older brother. He kept his crimes too petty to serve any hard time. Sure, he’d done a few days here or a few months there at the local youth detention, but youth detention was a cake-walk compared to the prisons littered through out the UK. Hannibal was currently serving a decade in a maximum security facility for beating some other bloke within an inch of his life. Murdoc had no idea what had happened that had led to his brother’s vicious assault, but with Hannibal it never took much. For all he knew, the neanderthal got bent out of shape over someone looking at him weird.

Murdoc veered down an alley, his breath like fire in his lungs. He was certain he’d put some significant distance between them, not interested in spending a night at the local youth facility while the muppet cops fought with his father over the phone to come and get him. Slowing to a jog, he came to a stop near a dumpster. His size gave him some advantage, able to elude people quickly. Light and agile on his feet. He bent over himself, half panting and half laughing with his hands on his knees. He was safe for now. Give him a chance to check out the goods he’d nicked just moments before. From beneath his arm, he pulled out the shoulder bag he had ripped from some tourist's shoulder, now eager to check the contents. Tourists rarely came through Stoke and they were usually loaded with quid and even food at times. Nicking bags wasn’t one of his favorite things to do because of the physical energy needed to get the bag and bail, but the money found within often gave him a place to sleep for the night and food in his belly. It was better than huddling in some awning for the night, especially now that the weather was getting cooler. Last winter he’d gotten himself seriously ill and had spent a lot of time at the local hospital. The nurses there were cute, at least. Shame he’d been weak and feverish with pneumonia. Would’ve been nice to take one of those cute lil’ birds in the broom closet.

The boy who once received pity was now just a shadow on the narrow and battered face of the young man he had become. The blunt little upturned nose was mangled, broken twice through his childhood, dark eyes that once looked at the world in hopes of finding some level of kindness were now cold and wary. His face was greasy and unclean, three days stubble on his cheeks, chin and upper lip. Black hair still greasy and unkempt, hanging in his face. He hadn't gained much for height, both his father and piece of shit brother towering over him. Still thin, still small in frame. Even upon becoming a young man, both his father and Han had used him as their personal punching bag. Small and weak, as far as they were concerned. A soft target. After years of beatings and humiliations, he’d finally had enough of Jacob’s drunken bullshit and had finally risen up and fought back. Jacob Sebastian Niccals went down into a bloody heap that night, Murdoc victorious. His triumph had been short lived. Still elated over his victory, Murdoc had let his guard down too quickly and the next night, he had paid dearly for it. Caught off guard and Jacob just too large, the one hundred and ten pound teenager was no match against the wild drunk.

The fifteen year old Murdoc simply left the decrepit little flat, never looking back. The streets were far better than that hole, always reeking of vomit and unwashed bodies. Easy enough to make do nicking what he needed to get by. Purses, wallets, even stuff from stores. And tourists were the easiest targets of all. Just what the hell did tourists see in rotten old Stoke, anyways? He shouldn't complain. They were often the targets that kept him fed and got him a warm bed, depending on what cash they had. Can’t exactly ridicule the hands that feed, right?

Life had handed him shit and all he could do was make shit with it. If he couldn’t talk someone out of it, he nicked it. The citizens of Stoke On Trent were little more than targets to him now. Means to an end and nothing more. He’d been used and abused by nearly everyone around him and he wasn’t going to let anyone see him that vulnerable ever again. He would take it first before you could take it from him. His father had taken his hope. His brother had taken his pride. The dinner lady had taken his innocence. Everyone around him had taken something from him, something he could never get back and he vowed he would never ever allow people to get close enough to take from him. Luckily, the only ones who wanted to be around him were as rotten as he was, willing to help him rob someone or something. The more the merrier, right? But his accomplices were all disposable, much like he was to them. He had a couple of muppets who tagged along every now and again, but they were both maybe two halves of the same moron and unless he needed a distraction of some kind or a getaway driver, rarely called upon them for help with his schemes. They were too stupid to task with anything that required any level of thinking. One of them had a father who worked at a bottling factory so at least he kept them well stocked in Strongbow.

Rummaging through the bag, he smiled broadly at the find. At the bottom of the bag was a wallet with some cash, a few electronics he could probably sell to those skin-head bastards his brother used to run with, a bag of pot and a few American newspapers. Oooh, this was an American tourist he had nicked from, eh? Not often you got Yanks in Stoke. Pulling out his crumpled pack of cigarettes, Murdoc lit one and eased his aching frame onto the ground, looking over the newspapers with curiosity. That actor who became president was talking about welfare reform and welfare queens. Murdoc stared at the photo of the aging president. Wow, the giffer was getting up there. Murdoc could remember seeing some of the movies he had been in. Old black and white films that sometimes played at the cinema down the street. He’d never really had any interest in the genre the old fuck used to do, but it had been those movies he’d seen at the cinema while tucked away in the back letting some young soft thing swallow his cock. Sometimes he did the swallowing himself, especially when he was desperate for cash and hadn’t eaten in a few days. There were always swines lurking in Stoke willing to pay some young street punk handsomely for a blowie or more, depending on how desperate you really were. He wasn’t too proud to admit he’d let a few have their way for the extra cash. Such was life as a street punk in Stoke, he reasoned. You did what you had to in order to survive. Suck dick, steal, let someone fuck you. It was all about survival, baby, no hard feelings.

Setting that paper aside, he grabbed at the other one. More interesting happenings in the Land of Dreams. A space shuttle launch, some farms being auctioned because of bad winters and some movie reviews. Scoffing, he tossed that one away from him. The last paper caught him attention. Big front page spread accompanied with a photo of fire and chaos: HOUSE FIRE KILLS TWO CHILDREN. Murdoc took another drag from his cigarette, reading the article quietly. One of those families that took in kids who became government wards. One of the little fucked up things set fire to the house, the fire killing one of the couple's adopted kids and some eleven month old foster baby. No names were released, burning house in the photo flanked by fire trucks and what looked to be an ambulance. Hmmm....kind of sad, actually. The child who set the fire apparently had a history of playing with fire and other destructive behaviors. They had shipped her off to some mental ward. What a shame. There wasn’t much more information in the article. Just that the couple had lost one of their kids, a foster kid and the kid responsible was now locked up. Christ, she was young too. Only six years old. Whole life ahead of her and this is how it ends, eh? They probably would never let her out. Probably was fed up with the lot life had handed her and this had been her only means to saying _fuck you_ to everyone. Imagine that, a mere tot had more balls than half the men in this sodding city he lived in.

From just outside the alley, he could hear the crunch of boots. Guess the jig was up. Constable Shelby and his faithful sidekick, Constable Merrick had discovered his little hidey hole. “Niccals!” barked officer Shelby, who was now standing over him. “Might as well get your arse up, boy. Let's go!”

Murdoc gestured at the paper. “You lot should read some of this stuff. All sorts of freaky thins' happen in America! Makes Stoke look tame, mate!”

“What happens over there ain't our concern,” Shelby grumbled, pulling Murdoc up by his arm. Murdoc watched as Merrick collected the contents of the shoulder bag, zipping it up. Both men flanking the little teenager as they marched him out of the alley to the waiting car. Murdoc merely rolled along with the motions, familiar with the routine. Oh well. Reckon a night binned up beat a night on the streets.

*****************************

_**~1990~**_ After too many years of working with the needle, he no longer felt it when it pricked his scarred and scabbed skin. Faint cold sensation as the drug was slowly pushed into his veins, the feeling taking over before he had even withdrew the needle. Blissful, almost fucking euphoric. It sent spasms through his thin arm, the muscles twitching. A sigh escaped from his lips and he sank back into the battered and torn sofa, closing his eyes a moment as he waited for the drug to take its full effect. Always the same, but always different. His thoughts picking up speed and pace as every little worry and nag started to fade away, replaced with random thoughts and memories. Some good, some bad, always interesting to replay them in his head and pick apart every little bit of them. Always wanting to make some sense out of things. Why did he spill the juice that led to his father beating him to unconsciousness? Had it slipped from his fingers or had he really been a clumsy sod? Why did the dinner lady pick him when she could have easily targeted someone else? Someone older, perhaps? He’d only been nine years old. What had he done that made her zero in on him?

Murdoc opened his eyes and frowned at the numerous bodies that littered through his little single room flat. Most of them stinking wastes of space who used him for a place to crash and a score. He had a few connections through town, but it was grade A shit that he was never willing to share. Providing these losers with his connections meant that he was less likely to get his own score when he was in need. But it didn’t stop them from showing up at his flat with hopes he’d share. When he was flying high off the drug, he usually was in a more cordial mood and willing to share his scores. Sometimes he’d secure the door and just hide out, but for some reason or another, he’d decided to let half the neighborhood in and they’d partied hard through the night. The sun was trying to slice through the filthy blinds and if he was gauging the location of the sun right, it was around early afternoon. He’d eventually have to get these bodies on their feet and out the door. The place was too small for so many people. He’d have to step over everyone just to get to his front door.

Laying on the sofa next to him was the beautiful red and white guitar he had acquired. The little old lady's words had still stuck with him, even almost twenty years later. He taught himself to play that shiny bass and had gotten quite good. Sometimes he could play for a few pence out by the Underground, but often times he wrangled a live gig at some filthy pub. Maybe she wouldn’t be completely proud of him, but surely she would have appreciated his skill? He had the hands for it, just as she’d said. She was dead and gone now, her kindness and comfort to him short lived. He carried very few soft spots for people and that little old Gran was one of them. He’d only been around thirteen when she’d passed and when he had found out she had few friends and family remaining, made a point to attend her services. He’d even stolen a suit and combed his hair so he would look presentable. He owed her that much. Let her know that her kindness to him had not gone unnoticed.

The bass guitar was his one prized possession. The one thing he held onto when he had so little else. Material belongings came and went. Even a roof over his head was expendable. Regardless of where he ended up, he made sure that bass came with him. He played and played, her words echoing in his head. He would do great things. He would prove to her just how great he would be. So determined to prove his worth in music, he protected the guitar viciously, ready to fight anyone who dared try to steal it from him. It was only going to be a matter of time before he was at the top of the world. He could taste it. It was within his grasp. He grabbed the bass beside him and pulled it across his lap. Plucking at the strings, his eyes scanned over the stinking sleeping bodies that had crashed unceremoniously through his flat. He'd have to kick them out soon. He strummed the guitar casually, his long fingers gliding across the strings. Between the music in his ears and the drug spinning through his brain, he was lost to the world around him finally, reality taking a backseat as he played. The song was simple, the bass riffs deep.

He paused in his playing, frowning at the filthy table in front of him. For some odd reason, the notes he strummed made him think of that kid he read about so many years back. That little kid who had torched her home. Was it odd that he wondered what became of her? Surely they had left her to rot in some asylum or whatever they called those places. Kids like that were dangerous, as far as the public was concerned. Hmmm. What was it about that story that stuck with him after so long? The fact that she had had lashed out the only way she could? Maybe he was envious. She had the balls to do what he had only imagined in his darkest dreams. She had gone through with it, letting everyone know she wasn’t going to take everyone’s shit anymore. Six years old and already fed the fuck up with the world. Imagine that. Why was he thinking about her? He didn't even know what she looked like. And did it matter? She was thousands of miles on the other side of the ocean, having no idea some clayhead speed freak pondered over her fate. Kid might have even been dead for all he knew. Christ, he was high. Obviously very high. That was all it was. He was high and the drug always managed to pull up the weird memories. Yeah, you’re high, Murdy. Find something else to think about.

From outside his front door, he could hear noises. Sounded like the landlord, his keys jingling against his hip. The jingle was accompanied by heavy foot-fall thundering through the corridor before finally stopping just outside his door. Something heavy, most likely the landlord's ham-sized fist, pounding hard against the brittle door. “Niccals, your rent's late 'gain! Open up, boy, I know you're in there!”

“Oi, fuck you, old man!” Murdoc barked back, returning his attention back to the guitar. Yeah, late again, but so fucking what. The stupid old fuck got enough to hold him over until Murdoc could get him the money. Let him enjoy himself a little. The music business was more difficult than he realized and so far, the current band had shown little promise. Time to cut his losses soon and start fresh. Might be able to wrangle a show at the Withered Hand. The owner there didn’t care if the band he hired was shit, he still paid and offered free drinks afterward. He could get the beast outside his flat the money owed within a day or two.

“OPEN THE GODDAMNED DOOR, NICCALS!” the old man roared from the hallway.

“Eat me!” Murdoc laughed, strumming the bass guitar louder, fingers flicking the switches and knobs, the sounds now rattling the little flat. It was hard not to laugh at the old man. Even when he realized that the muppet was trying to find the key that opened his door. Playing louder, Murdoc cracked a smile, watching as the door flew open, uncaring that his needle and a good gram or more of the drug were lying on the table. It was inevitable, right? Shit childhood progressing to shit adulthood. He'd amount to nothing, just like his father told him so many times. Just like the assholes in school told him so many times. Maybe for now. He was a nothing for now. But he wouldn’t be a nothing forever. He’d rise above it all. He’d become bigger than even the Beatles. Some day he'd be on top of the world and telling them all to suck his eight inch cock.

It was a pauper's grave, the marker nothing more than a small slab of rock with Clarissa Hutchence's date of birth and date of death. The young girl who stood there at the little grave-site was silent, her hands stuffed deep into her jean pockets. She could see the groundskeeper watching her from the corner of her eye. Probably thought she was a family member. She came to the grave often enough through the years. She felt obligated to. She generally didn’t linger long, but always felt obliged to come by when she could. Sometimes she talked to the stone. Sometimes she just sat there and smoked a cigarette and stared up at the sky. Wasn’t much else she could do. Wonder how Clarissa would feel knowing her killer sometimes stopped by to pay her respects? Would she care? Of course she wouldn’t care. Clarissa was dead. She was slowly rotting away in a tiny little two foot long casket six or seven feet below where Hailey quietly stood.

Sighing, she scuffed the toe of her sneaker into the grass, feeling the eyes of the groundskeeper on her back. After the fire, she had spent three years in some place they put crazy kids. She remembered very little of the place, only that it reeked of fear, death and hopelessness. The silver lining being that her social worker Amanda was able to visit her more often. Amanda told her that both Charlie and Marie had lost their kids in the wake of the fire. Hailey wasn’t exactly sure what had happened that led to them losing their kids, but she’d been satisfied with the outcome. Amanda could only tell her so much. She was also skating on thin ice with her own superiors for getting too attached. Hailey knew her social worker had massive case loads but often checked in on her whenever she could. She found out it had been Amanda who had gotten her out of the crazy kid place. Apparently, the state wanted her to remain there, but Amanda had pushed and pushed to get her out and into a new placement. Therapeutic placements, she called it. Homes that could focus on Hailey and Hailey alone.

Clarissa's real mom had come to see her while at the crazy kid place, wanting to see who had been responsible for her baby's death. Had she been stunned that the monster who killed her baby was little more than a tiny dark-haired seven year old who weighed forty pounds soaking wet? The woman stood there, staring at Hailey, who merely peered back at her through her hair. There was no malice, no anger. She looked so sad, staring down at Hailey like that. “You thought you were saving her from more pain?” she asked in a voice choked with tears. Hailey had merely nodded, holding her bunny closer. She expected the woman to freak out, cry, scream and maybe attack her for hurting her baby. Wasn’t that what Mommas did to people who hurt their kids? What had stunned her was when the woman knelt down in front of her and pulled her into her arms, sobbing silently into Hailey's dark hair. “I'm so sorry you felt that was the only way, Hailey. I forgive you and I hope that you find peace.” Blinking back fresh tears, Hailey pulled a crumpled pack of cigarettes from her book-bag and lit one. She remembered the hug, warm arms holding her tight. She’d been stiff and distant at first, fearful that the hug was a ploy to get her when she was vulnerable. But something else had told her that this woman meant her no harm. Her own walls had come down, savoring the warmth and comfort of that embrace, weeping silently against the woman’s shoulder as she rocked her slowly, humming some song that Hailey now could no longer remember.

She sighed, exhaling smoke into the air. She would find out years later that after leaving the hospital to see Hailey, Clarissa's mom simply went home, wrapped an extension cord around her neck and hung herself in the garage. The anguish over losing Clarissa had left her so devastated that her reunification plan fell through with her other children and she’d lost them permanently, both of them adopted out to separate families. Hailey had been the one and only person to see her on her last day alive. Extended family attempted to sue the state for what had happened, but the state settled for an unknown sum of money and people eventually moved on and forgot. Life was just plain fucked up. Clarissa, her siblings and even her mom had fallen victim to the state. There lives reduced to an undisclosed amount of money.

The public had never caught wind of what happened to any of them outside of the single article about the fire itself. Nearly everything about that family and the events surrounding them had been shoved under the rug. Even Clarissa's mom had been given a gag order by the judge, forbidden to even speak about what had happened to her daughter. Not even allowed to utter her daughter’s name. Not that it mattered anymore. The woman would kill herself a year later, but the damage had been done and the public had been none the wiser. Hailey was shuttered away, the surviving kids from both families scattered to the winds and everyone put on a game face. And for the most part, Hailey was never blamed by anyone over what happened. Well, none of the adults blamed her anyway. She did have the unfortunate experience of running into one of the adopted kids in a group home not long ago and he made a point to blame her for their family being torn apart. He was in the group home because he refused to stay at any home they put him in. Blamed her for tearing their family apart, even blamed her for one foster dad raping him and his younger sister. Hailey had merely shrugged him off, dismissive of his pain because they’d all been so fucking dismissive of hers. She’d said one thing and one thing only. “How's it feel to be on the receiving end?” It had led to her and the boy getting into a full blown brawl that landed them both in solitary for a few days, but as far as she was concerned, it was fucking worth it.

The sun was starting to get low, darkness coming soon. Sighing, Hailey stubbed out her cigarette and started to casually walk out of the cemetery. She had to keep a low profile. Police knew her face well enough and the last thing she was interested in was getting picked up by the pigs and spending the night in juvie or worse, getting sent back to that fucked up zealot's house. Newest home on the range was a super conservative middle aged couple who believed in equal doses of the bible and the belt. She’d had enough of religion and god. Fuck god. There was no fucking god. Where the fuck was he when she was going through the hell she’d been put through? Where the hell was he when Clarissa needed him? God could fuck off. Rose and Wayne could fuck right off. Thinking they had a fucking right to lay a hand on her simply for existing. Try and beat the devil out of her now, mother fuckers. She’d keep running no matter what. No doubt Amanda filed a report with her supervisor again about her. Labeled a runner. Therapist said if she kept it up, they were going to ship her off to some youth camp in Oregon. Well, she’d fucking run away from that too. Hell was going to freeze over before she rolled over and let them control her any more. Go ahead and lock her up, she’d escape and run from that. She learned enough in the group homes to survive on the streets. It didn’t take much if you knew where to go and what to do. She chuckled to herself as she crossed through the cemetery, keeping a wary eye on the main road. She knew of a few places she could probably crash at, but it also would mean using her only means of bargaining: her body. She didn't feel like giving the local soccer coach a blow job just so she had a sofa to crash on for the night.


	14. The Arrival

Nina Richards was aware that Murdoc was not necessarily a physically affectionate person. He’d fully embraced the crotchety old man stage with gusto. Face settled into what some saw as a deep frown, the skin around his eyes drooping just enough so that he always looked like he was scowling. Neighborhood kids avoided the Niccals property, but sometimes one of them would gather the balls to dare ride their bike across the lawn, earning them Murdoc’s wrath as he stood out on the front step, hurling a string of obscenities at their backs. The occasional aging Gorillaz fan popped up on his doorstep now and again and they always left without their photo or autograph, never getting a word out of him, the man merely standing in the door and glowering at them until they finally apologized and ran off. It was all for a good laugh, as far as he was concerned. That was what Nina loved about him. He used his aging face to his advantage. She sometimes thought back to when she’d first met him and had been intimidated by him. It wasn’t just his appearance that she’d found intimidating though, it had also been because the man was famous and though retired, had still been a sought after musician by many in the film industry. He’d broken the ice for her almost immediately, and she found out just how warm and funny he could be. Insulting pet names for anyone dear to him, could make a joke about anything and often hid his appraisals of others with thinly veiled insults. This was how he showed he cared. He didn’t really hug people. Public displays of affection were just not his bag. Nope, if he liked you, you called you names. He flipped you shit and got a laugh if you took it too seriously. The closest to any public displays with Hailey was him smacking her backside or grabbing it and making her jump. Though there was that one time she’d come from Alec’s room upstairs to find Murdoc in the kitchen with Hailey, merely holding her with his head on her shoulder, rocking where they stood while she tried to cook. But knowing him, he had prob been trying to steal food or cop a feel.

So it was a massive culture shock for Nina when the elder Niccals started poking at her expanding stomach to get a reaction out of Baby Ben. Watching his face light up like a little kid's (never mind that he was pushing seventy) whenever Ben would react to the poking, or even the retired musician's voice if he bent low and talked at her stomach. What made it all the more strange was simply how delighted old bastard was when Ben responded, kicking or fluttering from inside her. The crotchety old man who chased the kids off his lawn would light up, crooked grin on his face as he gruffly yelled at her stomach for Ben to do it again. It was a bit off putting at first and it initially made her extremely uncomfortable. She had assumed that such things were reserved for the father of the child. But ol' GranDad Muds either didn't get this memo or just plain didn't care. For someone who joked about how he was too young to be a Grand Dad, he sure as hell seemed to be embracing the role.

The months leading up to her residing in the Niccals' remodeled basement were a bit of a blur. Since she was not on any of the lease paperwork for Alec's old flat, she had to leave and his parents went about the task of canceling the lease and moving his belongings into storage with the exception of a few things Nina asked to keep with her. Her own flat felt cold and lifeless even with Alec’s cane laying by the door and the few odds and ends his parents offered her to take. She visited Alec's family often, as well as visiting Alec in the hospital and it was during one of those visits that Hailey suggested she move into their home. The basement was practically as big as Alec's old flat. They could hire contractors and have it remodeled. Add some walls, a kitchen and a few other amenities and the space could function as its own separate living space. So Nina started making the arrangements to move out of her tiny little flat. She was still fairly early in her pregnancy, so there was time. Her own parents had yet to know about the pregnancy or her plans and this did make planning easier. She also found it easy to lie to them over the phone, refusing her father’s demands she attend some gala or whatever else they tried to wrangle her into. She knew Trevor had hated her involvement with Alec and with Alec now in a coma, the man thought this was the chance needed to pull her away and shove her back into their society circles.

It took several months for the remodel to be complete. By this time, she had indeed told her parents about the pregnancy and it had gone as well as one would assume. And while waiting for the remodel to be complete, it led to her parents showing up at her flat every chance they had in an effort to discourage her from continuing the pregnancy and simply cut her losses with the Niccals. Three and a half months of being badgered endlessly. Terminate. Give it up. Sign your rights over to Hailey and Murdoc. Making a mistake. You’ll fail. You’ll be a laughing stock. Her parents had showed up even as she was moving out the last of her belongings and what followed was another massive lecture by her father about how she was making the biggest mistake of her life by keeping Ben ( _You gave it a name already?_ ) and she would be doing everyone a favor if she just used her head and got rid of it. Safe Haven the blasted thing. Walk away. Her father refused to even register that the baby had a gender. Ben was an “it” as far as he was concerned. Something that stood in her way of success. She honestly had wished she had a camera that day. Captured for eternity in her mind, the look on her father's face when she merely sneered at him and told him to “Fuck off.”

The months passed and Nina got bigger and bigger. Doctor's appointments were generally very smooth. The doctor treating her had originally been an intern for the now-retired doctor who had treated Hailey during her pregnancy with Amy and had even treated both the Niccals kids through the years. He was happy for them all and even a bit excited that he’d get to see a new generation born. He remembered Alec, had even treated him for the occasional fever or sniffle when he’d been just a boy. Told her all sorts of fun stories. Like the time Alec tried to return Amy for a refund the night she'd been born. He’d only been around six years old and he had managed to pull the bassinet out of the room and downstairs to the front desk, asking they take her back and give his Dad a refund. Amy had been nicknamed The Wild Thing because the moment she became mobile, she did nothing but run, scream at the top of her lungs and rarely ever kept a stitch of clothing on her. The doctor had gotten a good laugh out of this and even Nina had laughed heartily over learning these things about their family. Particularly one incident where Alec had been hospitalized and the doctor had shown up on the floor to talk to them and all he saw was a naked blur with a mass of wild black hair, realizing it was Amy streaking through the ward howling at the top of her lungs with Murdoc running behind her trying to catch her much like how one tries to catch a little bird. She’d been maybe two or three at the time.

More months passed and Nina got bigger and bigger. She’d made herself right at home in the basement apartment. It provided a lounge, a small kitchen complete with a tiny little fridge, a partial wall that separated a tiny little bedroom that had just enough room for a queen size bed and a little toilet closet complete with a standing shower. And though she used the side entrance of the basement to come and go, she mostly just went upstairs to the main level of the house. It was lonely in there with just her and her thoughts. Sometimes Hailey would come down to chat, but she was in the beginning stages of arthritis and sometimes using the stairs was painful for her. Tessie visited often, especially since she had started to take an interest in Alec’s best mate, Tucker. Tucker was over often enough as well, usually checking in to see how everyone was doing. He’d joined the local police department a few years prior and was doing well for himself. Nina couldn’t figure out what Tessie saw in the man, but whatever floats your boat, eh? The man was tall with wispy reddish hair and massive ears he’d never quite grown into. When Tessie wasn’t flirting with Tucker, she was playing video games with Murdoc, the two of them thick as thieves when it came to how seriously they took their gaming.

The month of February hit with torrential rains. Nina now stared out the basement windows glumly, her back aching, her feet swollen and wishing like hell that it would all end soon. She was so close now, just mere weeks away. She was finally reaching the point of wanting an induction. She couldn’t believe how fucking uncomfortable she was. No matter how she sat, how she laid down, every position hurt. Just hurry up. Time to get this over with. There were the occasional spasms, but nothing that was indicating he would be wanting out anytime soon, much to her displeasure. A visit upstairs was in order. Exercise would do her good anyway. Taking a breath, she pushed herself from the sofa and trudged her way up the stairs to the main levels of the house. She peered out the door, looking around the sitting room and the entryway to the kitchen. Everything was eerily silent. This was an uncommon occurrence. There was always something going on in the house. Perhaps nobody was home? Hailey and Murdoc both had their own errands and appointments. Hadn’t Hailey been harping at Murdoc over an overdue physical? He’d been fighting to go, digging his heels in and declaring himself as healthy as a horse and hung like one. Maybe she finally dragged him to the doctor after all?

Slipping through the door, Nina ventured through the kitchen and to the lounge, freezing when she realized the flat screen was on. Sprawled across the length of the sofa, with a beer in her hand and a bored expression, lay Tessie. Nina looked up again at the movie playing. Muted. Subtitles. “Err.....why're you watchin' it like that?” Nina asked, rounding the sofa and pushing Tessie’s feet aside.

Erupting into a massive yawn, Tessie pointed to the blue ray case. “Foreign job. Only comes in English subtitles. Figured if I had t' read the bloody thin', no point in havin' them run their mouths....”

“Good point,” Nina giggled. She peered around the house a bit, a perplexed look on her face. “Where's Hailey and Murdoc?”

“Upstairs,” Tessie said quickly, wrinkling her nose in disgust. “Dun' ask no more questions. Bad 'nough I know what they’re doin’.” Okay, you had to admit that still takes some getting used to. It certainly wasn’t the first time they’d all noticed that both Hailey and Murdoc had vanished. Nina could even remember a time not that long ago – just weeks before Alec had been hospitalized – when she, Alec, Amy and Tess had all been in the lounge and suddenly there had been no sign of Hailey or Murdoc. Both Alec and Amy had brushed it off. They were used to it. So used to it, in fact, Amy had merely shrugged and chirped. _They’re fuckin’. They’ll be down in ‘bout twenty minutes_. Tess had been a little put off but laughed about it later. Nina hadn’t been sure what to think of such behavior. Her parents _never_ would have dared disappeared to get some nookie in the middle of the day, let alone when kids and company were about. Awkward as it was, she realized it was fitting for them. And judging by the looks on Tessie’s face, she’d grown used to it also. “Dun' tell them I told you,” she muttered taking a massive drink from her bottle of beer. “They seem t' think they're bein' discreet 'bout it...”

“Lips are sealed,” Nina laughed, sinking back into the plush sofa, eyes staring at the film on the telly, the dialogue flickering at the bottom of the screen. “What movie is this?”

Tessie slowly raised herself up, tying her dark hair into a ponytail. “Err...Parasite. It’s actually quite good.”

“So, has this become the official flophouse of all the Gorillaz kids?” Nina asked with a laugh, getting herself more comfortable. “When should we expect Isaac an’ Elijah on the doorstep?” Given the fact that every time she turned around, Tessie was always there, it was a wonder when Russ and Kylie’s twins would show up.

Tessie shrugged and took another drink from her bottle. “Dunno, mate. Dun’ they still have school an’ live on the other side of the Atlantic?”

“It wasn’t a serious question, Tess,” she said with a snort. “B’sides, I doubt Russ would let the twins come over here unsupervised. Murdoc mentioned takin’ them drinkin’ next time he saw them. Russ threatened t’ beat his arse b’cause they’re not legal yet.”

Tessie cracked a smile as she got up from the sofa. “Legal schmegal...Uncle Murdy’s been lettin’ me drink since I was sixteen. As long as I dun’ try t’ drive or do somethin’ stupid, yeah?”

“Isaac an’ Elijah are only fourteen, mate,” Nina pointed out. “Russ would have his hide.”

Tessie erupted into a cackling laugh as she emerged from the kitchen with a fresh beer. Hopping back onto the sofa, a comfortable silence fell as they became engrossed in the film. Nina had never seen this film before, but had heard of it and even remember a few film buff mates recommending it. She nursed a glass of water, mildly annoyed that she was spending more time reading the bottom of the screen then being able to see what was happening with the film. She needed to learn Korean. Tessie casually sipped at her beer, slung over the end of the sofa as if she owned the place. Nina considered bringing up the fact that neither Murdoc or Hailey had come downstairs yet, if only to annoy Tess, but decided against it. Let the two have their fun. Besides, Tessie was kind of like Alec in that regard. Parents having sex? Yuck. And these weren’t even her parents!

It started as a sharp pain. Quick, abrupt and gone just like that. Nina frowned, silent as she stared at her stomach. A moment or so of nothing and then again. This time it was sharper, harder, enough for her to catch her breath and bring a hand out, as if she could somehow hold her stomach and make it stop. Was she actually seeing her belly tighten and then relax? The pain melted away again and she let out a small sigh of relief, unnoticed by Tessie. The pain ripped through her midsection again, only this time it lingered longer than the last. Nina shot bolt upright, hands pressed against her stomach, a cry coming from her. No way. This wasn’t happening now, was it? Didn’t they still have a few weeks to go? The pain held on longer this time, pulling between her naval and groin. She uttered a gasp, slowly struggling to get to her feet as another painful spike ripped through her. Her knees buckled, arm bracing against the sofa as she exhaled through a groan. Tessie was now staring at her with wide blue eyes, her bottle almost falling from her hand. The pain intensified, spreading across her stomach, to her groin, to her back. Doubled over against the sofa, Nina cast an imploring look over at Tessie. “I think I need t' go t' the hospital....”

Tessie shot off the sofa, darting up the stairs. Though muffled, Nina could hear Tessie barking at the end of the hall. “Murdoc! Hailey! We need t' go now!” More commotion upstairs. Hailey’s voice mixed in with Murdoc’s annoyed grumbles. Tessie kept squawking at them, telling them they needed to hurry. Nina leaned further into the sofa, catching sight of Tessie coming through the kitchen. “They’re comin’!”

From upstairs, she could hear Murdoc huffing and grumbling as he stomped down the stairs. “Christ, tell her t' squeeze her legs shut, damn it.....Hailey hadn't done that in fuckin' YEARS!” Nina looked up when he and Hailey appeared in the kitchen, both of them looking disheveled and flushed and clearly annoyed with the interruption. Upon seeing Nina doubled over against the sofa, Murdoc’s irritated expression shifted to concern. “Sugary Beelzebub, you weren’t kiddin’!”

Nina felt Hailey’s grip on her arm as she tried helping her towards the front door. Hailey wasted no time, barking orders at both Murdoc and Tessie. Get Nina’s overnight bag out of the closet. Go retrieve their wallets and the car keys. Grab any identifying documents and cash in case they ended up needing to stay a night or two with her. Nina wasn’t even sure which order was going to which person, only that both scattered with Tessie heading for the hall closet and Murdoc heading up the stairs. Sighing, she continued to help Nina out the door, shaking her head when she heard both Tessie and Murdoc arguing over the interruption as well as who was tasked to get what. “You would think it was him and Stu in there,” she said through a humorless laugh. Nina could only crack a strained smile as another spike of pain shot through her stomach, followed closely by a wet feeling on her legs and jeans. Groaning, she looked down, seeing wetness spread down her legs and trickle into the gravel beneath her feet. Hailey paused as they reached the car, looking down. “Hurry up! Her water broke!” They could hear both Tessie and Murdoc still bickering as they came from out of the house, Murdoc mumbling something under his breath as he tossed some bags into the boot and got into the driver’s side. Hailey continued to help Nina into the car, flashing Murdoc an acidic look. “I don’t care if you just had the fucking car cleaned. I’ll pay to have it detailed later!”

*****************************

Trevor Richards shot an annoyed look over at Murdoc, who was playing with his Zippo. Flicking it open, then shut. Open then shut. Murdoc merely matched glares, not in the mood for any verbal sparring with the man. They’d said plenty to each other and as far as Murdoc was concerned, there was zero reason to talk to the man. But at least sitting there in the waiting room where it was reasonably quiet gave him a chance to occasionally look at the man and study him, his woman and the other woman that had accompanied them. Just as snooty looking and uptight, clad in a plain tweed skirt suit. Murdoc used the distance to his advantage, studying the trio from afar, his seat in the waiting area on the far wall. He could see Trevor shooting daggers at him from time to time, but overall none of them opened their mouths to say anything to one another. Murdoc was perfectly fine with this. He didn’t have shit to say to that mug anyway.

He and Tess had spotted Nina’s parents shortly after Nina had been admitted. Nina had given the staff strict orders not to disclose to anyone that she was there or allow anyone else in her room other than those who had come with her. Murdoc had already sat through watching a baby born and wasn’t at all interested in watching another. Especially his grandson. He just didn’t feel right staring at Nina’s nether regions as Ben made his entrance into the world. Not to mention the fact that he just couldn’t understand how anyone thought that was beautiful. _What_ exactly was beautiful about watching something the size of a watermelon get forced out of something the size of a quarter? Looked like a wet St Bernard trying to push its way out of a cat door. He’d damned near lost his lunch when he’d seen Alec born. Obviously he knew the mechanics of it and knew how the boy would be coming out, but it hadn’t prepared him for the horror show of actually watching a seven pound newborn squeeze out of there. So, yeah, he was _perfectly fine_ hanging out in the waiting area until someone called for him. Nina had both Hailey and Tessie in there with her, so she had support. He’d be all over it once Ben was here and ready to get to know Grandad Murdy, but until then just keep him out of it.

From just outside the field of his vision, he could see Trevor glaring at him as he continued to flick his Zippo. _Click_ , open. _Click_ , shut. _Click, click, click_. The sound wasn’t very loud, but enough to keep Murdoc briefly occupied. Trevor was still giving him the evil eye though. Still no idea how Nina’s parents had caught wind of Nina being admitted, but he wasn’t too concerned about it. Not like they’d be able to see her anyway. Was the extra broad they brought with Nina’s Gran? His eyes surfaced from the Zippo, both he and Trevor staring each other down. “Who’s the old broad, Trev?” he asked with a grin. “Did you bring her Gran with, hopin’ she could shame her too?”

“None of your concern, Mister Niccals,” Trevor hissed.

Murdoc erupted into a cackling laugh, almost folding over himself in his chair. “ _Mister Niccals?_ C'mon, Trev, we're beyond formalities, yeah? My boy was bangin' your daughter. Call me Murdoc. Or even Murdy. Either one works, mate.”

Shaking his head in disgust, Trevor covered his face with his hands. “I'd appreciate it if you make no mention of what our children were doin’, Niccals. Bad ‘nough they were doing _somethin’_ , I dun’ need t’ hear it aloud, you twisted old fool!”

“Shit, that's nothin', mate,” Murdoc cackled, wiping away the tears from his eyes. “Caught them in the car once....Right funny I thought. Alec called me every dirty word he could think of.....An' all I did was tap on the window an' ask them what they wanted for an after-sex snack....'No hurry, Alec,' I told him. 'Just let me know when you're done...'” He cracked a grin, still flicking the Zippo. He could do this all fucking day if Trev really wanted to show his arse. Especially since he knew the twat was unwanted there. Maybe they’d get lucky and the uptight giffer would have enough of Murdoc’s mouth and just leave? That would be stellar, actually.

“Good lord, Niccals....'Nough a'ready!” Trevor barked. “Are you a’ways this unpleasant?”

“Dunno, mate. Define _unpleasant_. I think I’m fuckin’ hilarious, personally.” Murdoc pocketed his lighter, chuckling at the clear discomfort that Trevor was feeling. He could do this all fucking day. “Could tell you ‘bout the time I walked in on them at Alec’s flat...”

When Trevor screwed his face up in disgust and shook his head, Murdoc continued to cackle as he finally got out of the chair to wander down the corridor towards the vending machines. Seeing that he and Hailey had been so rudely interrupted, he’d never gotten a chance to finish his business with her or find himself his own after-shag snack. With a smirk, he scanned over the various packages of preservative filled goodies on display. He wanted Nutter Butters. Hailey had acquired the little cookie confections from somewhere in the city and apparently they were not a native snack. All over in America, she told him. Looking the machines over, he grumbled sourly when he realized that there were no Nutter Butters to be seen. Maybe he could have her paged so he could ask her to run to where-ever she got them from. Labor and childbirth usually took a while so he was pretty confident they had time. Just hop in the car, go to whatever shop she’d found them in, purchase them and bring them back so he could snack. Shouldn’t be too difficult.

He leaned out of the little closet sized space the vending machines had been squeezed into, catching both Trevor and Laura talking with the old gran. Stuffy and official looking just like the Richards, but there was something a bit more formal about the woman. He continued to watch with narrow eyes as the woman pulled up a small briefcase to her lap and opened it up, showing both Trevor and Laura some paperwork. No, this wasn’t Nina’s Gran. This was someone else. He frowned and returned his attention to the vending machines, mumbling to himself about not spying any Nutter Butters. He started to pat his pockets, checking to see what change he might have. When the pockets proved to hold little more than a few pence, he patted around for his wallet, remembering that Hailey had it. Couldn’t remember why he’d given her his wallet, but it wasn’t in his back pocket where he usually kept it. “Fuckin’ hell...” Movement caught the corner of his eye and he glanced up, seeing Hailey and Tessie walking briskly towards him, both looking tired, but smiling. He jutted out his lower lip, gesturing at the machine. “I wanted some Nutter Butters, Poppet. They dun' have none....”

“Got some at home,” Hailey said in a matter of fact tone, handing him his wallet. “Forgot we stuck this in my bag. Figured you’d be hitting up the vending machines by now.” She glanced behind her, catching Trevor's acidic glare. “Christ, what's got his knickers in a fucking twist?”

“Bah, let him pout,” Murdoc whispered as he pulled a few quid from his wallet and shoved it into the vending machine. “He's still butt-hurt 'bout his lil' robot not doin' his biddin' an'more.”

Hailey frowned, still looking over here shoulder at the well dressed trio in the waiting area. “Who's the suit they have with them?”

“Got me, Poppet. Thought it might be Nina’s Gran, but I doubt that. I smell somethin' fishy....An' it's not his woman's knickers.” Something fell within the machine and Murdoc reached in, pulling out a candy bar. “Speakin’ of Nina, how's she doin' an'ways?”

Tessie cracked a broad smile. “Good. Doc says ever'thin' is progressin' nicely! She’s dilated...”

Murdoc raised up a hand to cut her off. “I dun’ need that info, love. All I want t’ hear is that she’s doin’ well an’ all...” He wasn’t interested in how far she’d dilated. That wasn’t any of his business. He understood the mechanics well enough and the fact that it was his son’s partner just made knowing this information uncomfortable enough as it was. Unwrapping the candy bar, he took an enormous bite from it and glanced over their shoulder at the Richards and the old bitch sitting with them. Something didn’t feel right but he couldn’t put his finger on what it might be. Just a feeling. They’d shown up not long after Nina had been admitted. He couldn’t imagine Nina requesting them to be here, not after how they’d treated her. “How did they find out she was here? You lot didn't tell them, right?”

Both Hailey and Tessie shook their heads. “No,” Hailey said, frowning. “We have no reason to. And Nina didn’t ask for anyone to call them.”

Murdoc narrowed his eyes at Trevor, Laura and the old woman, chewing slowly. If none of them contracted them then how the fuck did they find out? Nina’s due date wasn’t even for another two weeks. Even if they’d managed to get their hands on that information, it wouldn’t lead to them sitting here now. Had it been one of the staff, perhaps? This didn’t seem right because Nina had requested to staff to not verify her admittance. He doubted they were here to celebrate Ben’s arrival into the world. They’d been against Nina even carrying the pregnancy to term. They’d spent the first few months of her pregnancy trying to convince her to _get rid of it_. So why the fuck were they here now that she was in labor? And just who the hell was that dried up ol' bitch in the tweed suit? She was talking with them quietly, going over different documents she had in her briefcase. Was she a lawyer? Was Trevor looking to sue Nina? No, that didn’t seem right. And he doubted Trevor would have the balls to even be here if he was planning on having her served with something.

A cold pit opened up in his stomach.

“Hailey,” he whispered. “You an' Tess need t’ go back up an’ stay with Nina.....An’ whatever you two fuckin’ do... _d_ _un' let them near her_....”

Hailey frowned, peering over her shoulder again. “What? Why?”

He swallowed the bite of candy bar, eyes locked on the trio down the hall in the waiting area. “That's Children's Services.....”

“ _What_....? You mean like CPS?” The color drained from her face as she cast another glance over at them. “But why....?”

“Willin’ t’ bet a pony he got them involved t’ bully her in t’ givin’ Ben up.” He took another bite of the candy bar, chewing slowly. “I can only imagine what he’s fabricated t’ get them t’ show up while she’s in labor. We a’so need t’ find out how they found out she was admitted.” He turned his attention to both Hailey and Tessie, shooing them back towards the lifts. “Go now. Hurry up an’ get up there. Do not, under any circumstances, allow the staff t’ remove Ben from your sight.”

Tessie turned and bounded away down the corridor, but Hailey was frozen in place and looking at them now with narrowing eyes. “They wouldn’t really lie just to get them to take Ben from her, would they? I mean, she has a support system. She has us...”

Murdoc shoved the rest of the candy bar into his mouth. “He's been a twat-waffle from the beginnin', Poppet. I wouldn't put an'thin' past him at this point.”

“That’s fucked up,” she muttered. “Will we be able to stop them?”

“Just go back upstairs an’ be with Nina, Poppet. I’ll hand this.” Tossing the candy wrapper into the bin, he swaggered down the corridor back towards the waiting area. He could hear Hailey’s distinct step on the linoleum behind him as she darted away as quickly as she could to grab a lift back up to Nina’s room. Though Trevor glared up at him as he sauntered back in, he merely cracked a crooked smile before laying claim to a chair directly across from them. He sat there in silence, watching the three of them glare back at him. Still smiling, he pulled out his Zippo and flicked at the cap. _Click_ , open. _Click_ , closed. He kept his eyes on the three stuffy bastards seated across from him, flicking the lighter. He could see the corner of Trevor’s eye twitch with the sounds. Exhaling softly, he shoved the Zippo back into his pocket. “Now that I have your attention, Trev...who’s the suit with you?”

“It doesn't concern you, Niccals,” Trevor hissed. “This is between us an’ Nina.”

“Assumin’ it’s ‘bout our grandson...I reckon it concerns us too.” He shifted his gaze to the woman in the tweed suit, scanning her up and down before finally speaking. “You’re ‘ware this is his grandson too, yeah?”

The old woman, who’d been silent since he returned to the waiting area, stared at him as if she’d stepped in something foul. “After goin’ over Miss Richards’ medical history, it was determined that she is a potential risk t’ the infant. As for any further information, I’m afraid I’m not at liberty t’ say. She can either hand the infant over willingly or we get the local authorities involved an’ she can face charges for obstructin’ an officer of the court.”

Murdoc pushed himself to his feet, moving towards the woman slowly, hands clasped behind his back. “How much is Trev here payin’ ya t’ kidnap an’ sell off his grandson? You can’t tell me money didn’t pass hands t’ make his lil’ _reputation problem_ go ‘way.”

“Mister Richards is concerned for his daughter an' that child,” she said flatly.

“He is, eh? Odd way of showin’ it.” He reached out and flicked at the stack of paperwork on the woman’s lap, his gaze now fixed on Trevor. “D’ya think this will make her crawl back t’ you, Trev? You’re not worried ‘bout her hatin’ you forever an’ never speakin’ t’ you or her Mum ‘gain?”

Trevor glared up at Murdoc, lips curling from his teeth. “She wants t’ play hardball, then we play hardball,” he growled. “She comes back, we can introduce her back in t’ the proper social circles an’ she can settle down an’ start a family with someone more t’ our standards. She chooses t’ stick with you lot...hope she likes bein’ childless b’cause council will have her on their radar an’ take every subsequent child she has.”

Murdoc cocked an eyebrow, not sure he’d believed his ears. This man would literally have his grandson taken away and possibly every child she had from then on just to stick it to her for standing up to him? What kind of fucked up person did that? Hell, Murdoc knew he had a vindictive streak, but he would never think to sink so low. He might key a car or slash a tire, maybe even break a window, but having Children’s Services take someone’s kid from them? For no reason other than vengeance? Fuck that. He was a bastard, but he wasn’t cruel. “Christ, you’re demented,” he said, shaking his head. “I knew you were a cold bastard, Trev, but never woulda guessed you’d sink this low t’ beat your daughter in t’ compliance.”

“Nina will understand I am only lookin’ out for her best interest.” Trevor diverted his eyes from Murdoc, looking at the tiles beneath their feet. This was interesting. The man couldn’t even look him in the eyes now?

He shifted his gaze to Laura, who remained poised in her seat, merely staring up at him without blinking or even a hint of emotion. This bird could give Hailey a run for the money in the mask department. But this disturbed Murdoc even more because if anyone should have been in Nina’s corner, it should’ve been Laura. “You’d really let this man hurt your lil’ girl an’ gran’baby?” he asked in a soft voice. She continued to look up at him, her mouth little more than a thin rose colored line. Murdoc shook his head in disgust as he stepped back. “Christ...you’re one cold bitch, lady.”

***********************

The narrow little hospital room was actually rather nice. In the midst of her pain and focus on her body, Nina never got a chance to really take in just how nice the room was. In spite of her exhaustion, she smiled around her. Hailey was seated beside her and Tessie was seated against a wall. But something bothered them, though. She could sense it. Neither said anything when they’d returned to her room. Just in time, too, Ben wailing to the heavens the moment he hit cold air. Hailey had perked up, ready with a blanket wrap him in, passing him right to Nina. Hailey, who she’d never seen cry, bent over the side of the bed with tears in her eyes, smiling down at little Ben. Nina wanted to ask what was wrong, but she was so tired. All she wanted to do was close her eyes and doze a little. Something was off, but at least Hailey was here and Murdoc was around somewhere. She couldn’t nap. There was definitely something going on. Something behind the scenes that she was not privy to. Doctors who were kind and helpful had now grown cold and detached. Tessie was on her feet and arguing with one of the nurses. They had come to take the infant for tests and Tessie wasn't letting them take the newborn out of her sight. Protocol, they were told. Tessie didn’t give a toss. Either she went with and held him or they could come in and do the tests in the room while he was with his Mum.

Hailey looked anxious. Hovering over both Nina and Ben. What was going on and why? Why were the nurses now looking at her with disdain? Had she said something or done something to gain their ire? It was when Murdoc finally came into her room that she knew something was very very wrong. He looked frightened, something she had never seen before. Murdoc Niccals didn’t get frightened. At least not when it came to people. Rats were another story. But this wasn’t about rats, at least not of the furry variety. Murdoc looked terrified. Over his head. Eyes darting around warily, even as he held and smiled at little Ben. Overly alert. Every noise from outside her room had him on edge, hackles up. Tessie remained near the door, her eyes flickering between both Hailey and Murdoc, something unspoken between them all as they paced and fretted. Nina could feel her own panic rising when she overheard Murdoc tell Tessie to contact Alec’s mate, Tucker. Tucker Prescott was a cop. Something terrible was indeed happening if they were wrangling a police officer into the mix. Tessie slipped out of the room and was gone. Now it was just the three of them and her baby.

When the door opened suddenly and her father walked in, followed by her mother and an older woman in a tweed suit, Nina frowned and looked over at Murdoc. He was almost red-faced, glaring daggers at the intruders. What were they doing here? Who called them? And who was this woman with them? Confusion as the woman in the suit rattled away at her about how after reviewing her records, it was determined she would be a risk for potential future harm and Ben would be going into care and she would receive notice of the court date to sever her rights within a fortnight. Wait, what? Sever her rights? Take him into care? “I dun’ understand,” she said, looking frantically at the different faces that now looked down at her. “Sever m’ rights? What did I do? I haven’t even done an’thin’ an’ you’re a’ready declarin’ me unfit?”

The woman in the tweed suit opened up her briefcase, sifting through some documents before finding whatever it was she searched for. “Miss Richards, were you not admitted in t’ Horizons on several occasions for an eatin’ disorder in secondary school?”

“I was fourteen an’ fifteen,” she whispered, her voice cracking as tears welled in her eyes. “You’re not seriously takin’ Ben from me for somethin’ that happened t’ me a decade ‘go, are you?”

The woman sniffed and tucked the paperwork back into her briefcase. “I’m sorry, Nina, but your mental fitness is questionable. Eatin’ disorders. Sexual relations with a man who had significant physical and cognitive impairments...”

“Alec only had physical impairments!” Nina snapped, clutching Ben tighter. She flashed a furious look at her father. Of course he would say something like this. He’d always implied that Alec must have been cognitively delayed on top of his physical impairments. Refused to acknowledge that Alec’s issues were physical. Alec’s memory wasn’t the greatest, but that was a given due to the seizures he’d suffered through the years. “Whatever my father told you ‘bout Alec, it’s not true!” She frantically looked around, meeting Murdoc’s gaze. “Tell them, Murdoc! Tell them there was nothin’ wrong with Alec!”

Murdoc let out a bitter laugh, glaring at Trevor from the other side of Nina’s bed. “Fuckin’ hell, mate, you’re low. Lower than low. Fuckin’ pond scum. Lyin’ ‘bout your daughter. Lyin’ ‘bout m’ boy, who is literally hooked up t’ machines four floors ‘bove us.” He circled around the bed, still laughing but there was no humor in that laugh. He was enraged, Nina could see that a mile away. Never mind the weird tone or the strange and malicious laugh. Every move, every muscle tic, every flinch said he was furious. “If I were you, I’d take your lil’ woman an’ that old fuckin’ bat an’ get the hell out of this room. We crystal?”

Trevor’s face twitched, now looking at Murdoc and almost smirking in triumph. “We’re not leavin’ until she hands over the infant, Niccals. They have an order t’ remove. She either hands it over or we bring in muscle an’ she gets arrested on top of it.”

“ _He's MINE_ ,” Nina growled, holding the infant against her. “Nobody’s takin’ him from me. One step closer an’ I won’t hesitate t’ take an eye.” She was exhausted. Her body had felt like it had gone through the seven circles of hell bringing Ben into the world. Every part of her just wanted to fucking sleep, but she was wired and prone. Ben’s smell firing off synapses and every part of her felt tensed and hard as iron as she curled protectively around the newborn, glaring defiantly at her parents and the social worker. Hailey and Murdoc were no longer in her peripheral vision, it was narrowed down to the three who stood at the wall by the door. Daring them to come forward. Try her. See if she was joking.

Trevor rolled his eyes at her, taking a step forward. “It’s not a bloody doll, Nina. You’re in no shape t’ care for an infant. Hand it over before you hurt it.”

Hailey moved herself between them, her hands up. “If you’re so fucking concerned, let Ben come home with us until we can get this all sorted out. We’re the paternal grandparents and we’re also the ones who have been helping her.” If not for the seriousness of the situation, Nina would have laughed because Trevor towered over Hailey. But she also knew Hailey had been a scrapper in her youth and arthritis be damned, she probably wouldn’t hesitate to take Trevor on. “Just let us take him home. We can come back with our solicitor and go over what you want versus what’s gonna happen.”

The social worker set the briefcase aside and stepped between Hailey and Trevor, one hand pushing Trevor back but the other only hovering in front of Hailey. She probably wasn’t willing to take a chance. You could tell Hailey wouldn’t hesitate to throw down if needed. She might have been damned near sixty, but she wasn’t going to let age and arthritis stop her. The social worker slowly turned to Hailey, her tone condescending. “You can petition Her Majesty’s court after we establish the first hearin’. We a’ready have a couple on a waitin’ list ready for the boy. If the magistrate decides you an’ your partner are fit, we can work on a transition t’ your home.”

“I’m afraid you’re not understanding us,” Hailey said firmly. “There won’t be a court hearing for you to tell us he’s bonded to fosters and won’t be coming to us. He will be coming home with us upon discharge from hospital.” She was confident, laying it out exactly how it was going to be. There would be no deviation from what she said was going to happen. Just like when she was home. Once she told you what was going to happen, that was exactly what was going to happen. Hailey often joked that she needed to be this way because if Murdoc was allowed to carry out every whim, they’d be broke and the house would be in ruin. And given how impulsive Murdoc could be, to say nothing of the tantrums he could throw when not getting his way, having someone there to keep things grounded had become a necessity.

“That’s not how it works,” the social worker retorted. “You can petition the courts an’ see if the magistrate agrees that your home is sufficient.” She gestured at the newborn behind her, almost glaring at Nina as if she was upset that they were inconveniencing her. “Now, hand him over so we can get on with this.”

Nina curled around Ben, glaring up at the social worker, daring her to try and grab her baby. Hailey remained between them, saying nothing and simply staring at the woman. The social worker and Hailey continued to match glares. Every movement from the social worker to get around her was met immediately with Hailey right back in her face again, a cold smile on her face. They were probably less than a foot apart and neither appeared to be relenting. From outside of the room, she could hear noises as staff and others lingered near the door to hear or even see what was going down. She looked down at Ben, who was mostly quiet and looking up at her, seemingly oblivious that his grandmother was moments away from a catfight with some stuffy social worker. Everyone was on edge, Nina could feel it all, yet even with the rising tensions Ben remained mostly calm. As if he knew who would be the victors in this battle.

“She's been emotional an' lackin' reason since the moment she found out about this!” Trevor barked as he tried to push the social worker aside. “You an’ Niccals takin’ the infant will only encourage her. She cannot have it within arm’s reach. As long as it's close, she will never move on properly.”

“Nobody was talking to you, Richards,” Hailey snapped, her gaze acidic. “You’re not part of the equation right now so butt the fuck out.” She returned her focus to the social worker, snatching the paperwork in her hand away and looking it over. “This removal order isn’t even signed by a judge. It’s invalid.”

“Get out of this room,” Murdoc snarled. “Take this bitch an' get out if you know what’s good for you.”

The woman scowled, arms folded across her chest. “We're not leavin' without the newborn.” She reached out and grabbed the paperwork from Hailey’s hand. “We dun’ need a signature, not right ‘way. We can obtain it once the infant is in care.”

A noise from the door had everyone turning towards it in unison. Tessie stepped through cautiously, looking at the different faces. Someone was coming in just behind, a face Nina knew well. Reddish hair curling out from under his cap, massive ears and his uniform fitting a little sloppily on him. Tucker glanced around quickly, zeroing in on Nina’s parents and the social worker. “Sorry, ma’am, but I was informed there was an altercation? What seems t’ be the issue?”

Murdoc opened is mouth to speak, but Hailey cut him off. “It appears this woman and her mates are trying to take my grandson without any signed orders. She’s identified herself as a social worker but has yet to provide any identification.”

Tucker looked at the woman in the tweed suit, scanning her over carefully and then looking over at Trevor and Laura. “Dun’ s’pose you lot can provide me some identification? An’ do you have a signed order t’ remove the infant?”

“We dun’ need a signed order,” the social worker snapped. “We have paperwork here authorizing takin’ the newborn t’ care. The mother has a history of mental health situations an’ possibly questionable judgment for havin’ relations with a disabled lad which resulted in this child...”

Tucker cocked an eyebrow. “What proof do you have of these allegations? An’ do you have a removal order signed by magistrate?” The social worker handed him a stack of paperwork which he casually read through while everyone waited. Sometimes he’d make a noise or some other weird facial tic as he went through the paperwork. Upon reaching the last page, he merely handed it back to the social worker, shaking his head. “I’m ‘fraid I dun’ see any signature on there, ma’am. I can’t let you take the infant.”

“I told you,” the social worker snapped, “we dun’ need a signature.”

“Last I checked, you can only remove without a signature when it is an emergency situation,” Tucker said, still smiling his plastic smile at her. “Based off what I read, there is currently no emergency. You’re basis for removal is a statement from the woman’s parents about mental health issues from a decade ‘go that she has since been treated for. The secondary concern regarding her relationship with a disabled man can be challenged in court. What proof do you have that the man was so severely disabled that he was incapable of consent an’ she took advantage of him?”

The social worker glared up at him, her already thin mouth almost disappearing as her face tensed. “It’s all in the documents you just read.”

“But it’s all hearsay, ma’am,” Tucker said abruptly. “I am seein’ zero proof of any of the claims laid out in these documents. Unless you can produce a signed document authorizing the infant’s removal, I’m ‘fraid I’m gonna have t’ ask you t’ leave. All three of you.”

Trevor narrowed his eyes at the young police officer. “Wait...I know you. You’re the crippled boy’s mate. You can’t be involved in this! This is bias!” The cool exterior appeared to be truly cracking now. He, Laura and the social worker were now outnumbered. He flashed Nina a cold look before returning his gaze to Tucker. “Get your superior on the phone t’ settle this, young man. The social worker says she’s takin’ the infant an’ that means she’s takin’ the infant, signed order or no signed order!”

“I’m ‘fraid that’s not how it works, sir,” Tucker said coolly, still smiling at him. “Unless you can produce a signed order, I cannot let you take that baby. Now, unless you lot want t’ face harassment an’ possibly trespassin’ charges, I’d suggest you all leave this room.”

Trevor hissed in his rising fury, turning cold and focused eyes over to Murdoc. “Your crippled boy corrupted her! I knew she was makin’ a mistake in datin’ that fuckin’ invalid. Trash, that’s all he was. Trash born from trash!”

Nina flinched when Murdoc charged through Tucker and Hailey. He reached out a long, bony hand and snatched Trevor’s tie in a vice grip, yanking him as hard as he could. Trevor stumbled forward, his face now inches from Murdoc’s, the older man’s face twisted into a scowl with his teeth bared and words coming out in a hiss. “Call Alec crippled an’ trash ‘gain, you uptight cunt. _I fuckin’ dare you_.” It was clear he’d finally decided the gloves were off. Her father had made cheap shots at Alec and his family for years and to Murdoc’s face on more than one occasion, so it wasn’t a huge surprise that Murdoc had finally snapped. He was seething too. Nina couldn’t recall any time before seeing him this enraged. She’d seen him upset. She’d seen him throw tantrums over something not going his way. She’d even seen him yell at Hailey over the most petty of things while she just stood there staring him down. But this was white hot rage she was seeing. Trevor had finally pushed his buttons one last time and he’d decided enough was enough.

Trevor sputtered, but regained his composure quickly. Matching Murdoc’s steely glare, he spoke slowly, punctuating each word. “ _You_. An’. _Your. Boy_. Are. _Trash_. An’. _Your. Boy. Was. A. Degenerate. Cripple_.” When Murdoc blinked, his enraged expression melting away, Trevor cracked a smug grin. “Hard t’ act tough when you have the constable right here, eh?”

Nina flinched back with a yelp when Murdoc uttered a snarl of rage and brought his knee up, using his grip on Trevor’s tie to yank him downward, kneeing her father in his stomach as hard as he could. The moment Murdoc had kneed Trevor, it was like everyone had snapped out of a daze. He threw Trevor back against the wall, almost panting as he glared down at the man who was doubled over and gasping. Hailey and Tessie were moving Murdoc back, Hailey barking at him to cool off and sit down. Tessie was guiding him backwards to a chair. Tucker merely staring at what unfolded with a shocked expression on his face. The social worker was barking at everyone to calm down. Standing in the outside of it all was her mother, Laura, starting to finally crack. Tears springing to her eyes, falling down her cheeks. Nina and her mother regarded each other a long moment, almost deaf to the chaos around them. Her father was barking about payback. The social worker was trying to yell over everyone about getting the infant out before he got hurt. Murdoc was hurling obscenities at Trevor, almost grinning and daring the man to come at him. Trevor slowly raised himself upright, taking massive gulps of air, his focus on the old man now sitting in a chair and matching glares with a small smirk on his face. Any semblance of civility was gone now. Trevor looked wild-eyed, his hair wild and unruly. There were no words, just sounds coming from him. He shed his jacket and stalked across the room, drawing back his fist. Murdoc stood up abruptly, swinging a left hook that struck Trevor hard in the side of his face. Caught off guard from the blow, he nearly collapsed into the bed with Nina and Ben. Murdoc reached out and grabbed him by the back of his shirt, ripping him from the bed and across the room. “Get the fuck outa here!” he snarled, kicking Trevor hard in the back of his legs. “An’ take your bitch an’ that hag with you!”

Tucker was suddenly between them, holding Trevor back as the man screeched at Murdoc, almost foaming at the mouth as he babbled incoherently and pointed. Murdoc stood there, massaging his hand, watching with an almost amused expression as Tucker began to push Trevor back, telling the social worker and Laura that they needed to leave. “But that decrepit old fool!” Trevor howled, pointing an accusatory finger towards Murdoc. “You saw it yourself! He assaulted me!”

Tucker shook his head as he continued to wrestle Trevor back. “I saw an elderly man defendin’ himself, mate. You’re at least a decade younger. Not a very fair fight ‘gainst an elderly man.” Trevor continued to struggle out of Tucker’s grip but he held firm, ignoring Trevor’s sputtered and stammered bellows that he’d been set up and that Murdoc had instigated the brief fight. Tucker merely shook his head, unwilling to entertain him. “Sorry, mate, but you showed up here an’ tried t’ take Miss Nina’s lil’ boy without an’ legal documents t’ speak of. As far as I’m concerned, they were defendin’ her. So how ‘bout you take your wife an’ the social worker here an’ step out?”

Nina held her breath, watching as Tucker ushered her parents and the social worker out of the hospital room. A tense silence followed between them as they listened to Trevor’s ranting fade further and further out of earshot. Had she just imagined everything? Ben appeared to be the only one who didn’t seem too disturbed by what had just unfolded before his eyes, now cooing and reaching a tiny hand up to tug at her hair. Sighing, Nina pressed her face against the newborn’s head. It was like everyone had breathed a collective sigh of relief once they could no longer hear Trevor. Hailey sank down to the edge of the bed, almost shaking as she took a few deep breaths. Tessie flopped limply into one of the extra chairs, closing her eyes. Murdoc was favoring his hand, grimacing when he tried to move it. It was swollen, almost black from bruising. Christ, had he broken his hand when he punched Trevor? Nina perked her head up, her voice finally breaking the uncomfortable silence. “You need t’ get your hand looked at, Murdoc.”

“It’s nothin’,” he snapped as he tucked his injured hand behind him. “I’ll wrap it up an’ be as good as new in a month.” Hailey had risen from the end of the bed, now grabbing at his wrist to get a better look at his hand. He ripped his hand away with a snarl. “Said I was fine, Hailey!”

“Stubborn old fool,” Hailey snapped back. “It looks broken!”

Nina perked her head up at the sound of the door, Hailey and Murdoc still bickering at each other about his hand. Upon seeing Tucker, Tessie cracked a shy smile, her face turning several shades of red. Tucker appeared to not notice, looking at everyone with a smile as he closed the door behind him. “They’re gone for now. I’d recommend gettin’ legal counsel, though, just t’ be safe.” He pulled the cap from his head and dropped into the chair besides Tessie. Was he actually now smiling at Tessie? Nina watched the silent communication between the two of them, a smile spreading across her face.

Murdoc and Hailey were still hissing at each other, his hand purple and massive compared to his right hand. He had indeed broken it. He grabbed a towel from the washroom and wrapped his injured hand, still pulling it out of Hailey’s reach as she continued to harp about him getting it looked at. Realizing defeat, Hailey stomped over to the bed and sat down near Nina. Ben uttered a squeak and soon her attention was completely focused on the newborn. Nina passed him over, watching as Hailey cradled the newborn whispering to him and rocking him as she walked around the room. Nina lay back into the pillows, exhaustion hitting her ten fold. What a fucking entrance into the world, eh, Ben?

Both Tucker and Tessie were giggling and whispering to one another. Tessie perked up suddenly, pulling away from him. “Oh...I found out who ratted Nina out. Some nurse here on the maternity floor. Trevor paid a couple of them t’ contact him when she was admitted.” This didn’t surprise Nina one bit. Her father would do something just like that. Offer cash to whomever was willing to let ethics slide.

Nina uttered a sigh, struggling to keep her eyes open. She was still a little dazed at all that had happened and the levels her parents had sunk to get her away from Alec’s family. What the hell? Her partner’s family had become more her family than her own fucking parents. She looked at Hailey, who still cradled the now dozing Ben in her arms, tears in her eyes as she paced around the room, humming something that Nina couldn’t place. Smiling through her tears and just content to hold her grandson, content to have a piece of her son with her. It made Nina wonder how it would have all played out if Alec had been there with them. Would he have been the one to strike Trevor? Would he have intervened before his father could strike? Alec had abhorred violence, felt it had no place anywhere. This had always been the greatest contrast between Alec and Murdoc. Murdoc felt physical violence had its place and there were times when it was justified. Alec had never shared that belief.

Murdoc cradled his injured hand, sighing and closing his eyes. He looked so aged in those moments. Nina had to remind herself that he was almost seventy. The altercation with Trevor probably had taken a lot out of him. He definitely needed to get his hand looked at. There was no avoiding that, no matter how much he barked and grumbled that he was alright. Luckily Hailey was too preoccupied with Ben to continue to harp about his hand, but Tucker appeared to take notice now. He was on his feet and looked at the towel wrapped hand, at the long fingers that were swollen to twice their normal size. “Christ, Murdoc...Hailey’s right. You really should get that looked at.”

“Told you lot I’m fine,” he grumbled back, shaking his head. “I’ll get it looked at later.” He turned to Hailey, who was still cooing at the newborn, a big toothy smile on her face. He gestured for her to bring the newborn over. Initially Hailey resisted, holding Ben to her and scuttling across the room. Sighing, Murdoc got to his feet. “Christ, woman, that’s not even your baby. C’mon now, lemme take a look at the lad.” Hailey reluctantly passed Murdoc the newborn. He stood there, staring down at Ben. His expression was strangely calm, even though it was clear he was in pain. Holding Ben in his good arm, cracking a small smile down at the baby. “You made a helluva entrance in t' the world, lil' man. Not even I could pull off somethin' like that.”


	15. Compromise

The phone was ringing.

It had been ringing for about fifteen minutes straight. The person calling most likely disconnecting the call and calling back immediately. Over and over again. There was no question about who it was calling. There was only one person Alec knew who would call like this and never leave a voice mail or even a text message. Alec opened one eye and stared at his cell phone as it continued to ring, the Radiohead song _Creep_ blaring through the narrow bedroom. He tried desperately to ignore it, but as the song rose in volume, he could feel Nina moving around beside him. Might as well answer it. Christ, why couldn’t the man buy a fucking clue? Maybe Alec was busy? Hell, what if he was _asleep_? There are numerous reasons he wouldn’t pick up the phone at seven in the morning. Nope, there it goes again. Brief silence before the song blared through his bedroom. Christ, the man was impossible to deal with some days! Didn’t Mum keep him busy enough in the mornings? She was the early riser of the family. She could have easily wrangled some chores out of him to keep him occupied.

 _But I’m a creep; I’m a weirdo; What the hell am I doing here; I don’t belong here_.

Alec squeezed his eyes shut against the morning light, rolling to his side, pulling the blankets tighter against him. Even in the muffled and blissful darkness of the blankets, he could hear the blasted phone! “Fuckin’ hell,” he grumbled, surfacing from the blankets. “Can the old sod buy a clue?” He already knew how it would play out once he answered. He could already hear his father’s gruff voice from the other end. _“Did I interrupt a fuck-a-thon or somethin’? What’re you doin’ over there that you can’t answer the bloody phone, boy?”_

Boy? _BOY_? Alec was twenty three years old. Fucking boy, indeed!

The song looped, the chorus repeating itself for a third or fourth round. From beside him, Nina stirred, a low moan coming from her. He looked over, seeing her head perk up and glare past him at the phone. “Answer the bloody thin', Alec,” she grumbled, pulling the pillow over her head. “You know damned well he'll keep callin' until you answer.”

Alec reached a trembling hand out, grabbing the phone and hitting the ignore button, switching the phone over to vibrate. “There. He can call t' his heart's desire now....” He cracked a smile when her muffled laugh escaped the pillow. He reached a roaming hand out, curling around her side. He pulled himself closer, nuzzling into her neck. “We've got 'bout a half hour us-time until he comes a-knockin' at our door....I've got some ideas on what we can do.”

Pulling the pillow away, Nina gave him a sour look, freckled nose scrunched. “Knockin'? C' moff it, Alec....The man will be poundin' on the door.” Alec's smile faltered. She was certainly right on that account. She knew from experience now that ignoring Murdoc Niccals was the equivalent of ignoring God himself. The first time she had spent the night in his flat, they were dragged from sleep by Alec's ringing phone. Ignoring it, they found more entertaining ways to spend their morning. That was when Alec had learned that giving his parents a key to the flat was not such a wise idea. They’d ignored the man’s calls and managed to find more entertaining distractions once they were awake. They’d been in the kitchen. Alec had been on the edge, the end nearly there. Nina’s moans driving him further. Both of them focused on each other and nothing else, not even the chime of the coffee maker. Suddenly the front door flew open, Murdoc standing there, whatever words he’d been about to say dying on his lips as he stood there staring at the two of them. Nina had sputtered out a scream. Alec had frozen, the two men staring at each other for the most uncomfortably long minute he’d ever had.

Alec could smile about it all now, seeing his dad turn ten different shades of red as he slapped his hands over his eyes and backed out of the doorway, closing the door and barking at them to get dressed. Murdoc couldn't look Nina in the face for weeks after that fiasco. Imagine that, Murdoc embarrassed. Alec never thought he’d see the day. Murdoc Niccals didn’t get embarrassed. The man made it his life’s mission to ensure everyone else around him was embarrassed. Yet seeing his son and son’s partner in a compromising position in their kitchen had freaked him out enough that he no longer just walk into the flat. Nope, he would call a few times and then just head over. If you still didn’t pick up by the time he arrived, he would stand outside on the sidewalk and yell up at the windows or stand outside the door and bark at them. Honestly, it was probably _more_ embarrassing that he did that than just waltzing in and possibly catching them with their pants down. The man might as well announce what they were doing for the whole building to hear. Granted, maybe this was his new way to shake them up? A way to avoid admitting his embarrassment and continuing his love of driving you mental.

Nina sat up, yawning and scratching at her head. “What time is it now?”

“After seven,” he murmured, letting his hand roam down her belly. She was soft and warm against his body. When his hand traveled across her downy patch, she flinched against him, her rump pressing hard against him. Hoping she picked up on what he was wanting, he pressed his hips against her backside. He was hard and having her rump against him sent shivers of delight through his body. Shifting behind her, he pressed himself between her thighs, huffing against her ear when his erection grazed against heat. “Lift your leg,” he breathed against her ear. “Lemme in...”

“We’ve got maybe twenty minutes,” she whispered as she lifted her leg and rested it against his thigh. “Think we can do it?”

A short huffing moan escaped from him as he slid himself into her. “Insultin' my stamina, are we?” he grunted, pressing into her as deep as he could. She uttered a moan in response, shifting her body to meet his better. Moving his hand away from her downy patch, he slid it up the length of her body, sighing against the softness of her skin as he continued to drive into her, picking up his pace. Hearing her soft groans amped him up further, his body screaming to move faster even as he tried to rein it in and pace himself. She was soft and warm and moving her body just right to meet his. When she uttered a shaky _harder,_ he groaned aloud without meaning to, grabbing her hip and driving himself into her as hard as he could. Head pressed into her shoulder as he continued to thrust, half growling and half moaning, using her hip for leverage to pull her body to his. He was reaching his peak, he could feel it. She was so close too, her body snug around him as he started thrusting harder. She was moaning and it was loud, her cries rising above his own as he slammed into her again and again, knowing the moment was going to hit and it was going to hit hard. One of her hands flung around behind her, nails biting into his shoulder as he drove into her one last time, pressing as deep as he could fit. He cried out without meaning to, still clutching her against him as the bliss cascaded around him. He couldn’t see, could’t hear. Just white noise in his head as he rode the climax out.

They lay there tangled within one another for a long moment, small whimpers escaping from him whenever she shifted her body. He could lay there like this forever. Warm and tingly, nothing but good feelings all around him as his vision cleared and the sounds of his own heartbeat thundered in his ears. When she finally disengaged from his body, he rolled limply onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. Though he was aware of her fluttering through the room to gather her clothing, he couldn’t even will himself to move. Numb and not minding it one bit as he took a few deep breaths and closed his eyes. He allowed himself to doze, vaguely conscious of her movements around the bedroom. Movement on the bed itself. Probably sitting down to put socks on or something. The movement got closer and he could feel her presence near him, hear her breathing as she slowly climbed over him and straddled his hips. He popped open his right eye, looking up at her as she rocked against his hips wearing nothing but her shirt. Every shift against him sent sparks sensations from his cock to his spine, chills running across his body. “Gonna need t’ give me some time t’ recover, love,” he muttered, cracking a smile. “Takes a bit of time t’ get the hydraulics workin’ after round one, you know this.”

“Judgin’ by what’s happenin’ under me, I dun’ think the hydraulics need as much time as you think they do.” She leaned forward, mouth pressed to his gently before she broke away and allowed her mouth to roam down his neck. Oooh, he needed her to keep going. Rocking against him, mouth gliding against his skin. Sensitive as the sensations were, maybe he could convince her to use her mouth until he was fully ready to go?

“Christ, t’ hell with half-time,” he croaked. “Put it in your mouth...please. Nice an’ slow.”

“An' watch us get interrupted by the geriatric bassist bellowin' on the other side of the door,” she laughed, pressing herself close.

“Woman, you have no idea,” he chuckled, circling his arms around her back and holding her close. “I'm willin' t' let m’ Dad bang on the door until his knuckles bleed if you promise t' keep movin' like that.....”

“Such a charmer,” she whispered, climbing from both him and the bed. “But the minute your dad becomes part of this equation, it becomes a mood kill.”

“You brought it up first!” he huffed, staring at her and not bothering to hide his disappointment. When she merely laughed in response as she struggled to get her panties on, he reached down and held his partially erect cock. “Look what you did t’ it, woman. It wants more!”

Nina cocked an eyebrow at him as she struggled to get her jeans on. “We can a’ways resume this after your Dad leaves,” she laughed. “He’ll be here any minute an’ you know this. Get up an’ get some trousers on.”

He had a right mind to grab her and drag her back onto the bed. She was close enough and within reach. He continued to watch her dress herself and slip out of the bedroom quietly. He lay there, mulling over how he’d been ready for action so quickly in the wake of the impromptu morning round. He usually needed a least a hour downtime before he could be up and raring to go again. Not that he was knocking his body’s quick recovery skills, it was just a bit out of the ordinary for him. Probably stupid to think on this. Why question it? Just be happy he was able to do it. Five years ago he had yet to even touch a woman and now he had one practically living with him. She was beautiful. She was kind. She had a fire in her that complimented his more laid back nature. And the best part – the fucking most amazing part of them all – was that she could shoot it back at his Dad faster than the old tosser could think them up. How was it someone who’d grown up so sheltered, with her parents controlling her every move and thought, was capable of firing zingers so sharp that it left his own father speechless? Not even Amy was that quick and he and his sister had grown up listening to that perverted old fool their entire life. He could still remember the somewhat embarrassing morning after their first date, after his Dad had interrupted them in the car, both of them had emerged from his room to go downstairs. He’d expected some less than pleased looks from Mum, but she’d merely smiled at them and fixed Nina coffee. The old tosser himself finally made his presence known by sitting right next to her, massive grin on his face. “So you’re a screamer, eh?” Nina had looked at him, deadpan, and said. “What's the matter, hate the competition?” Murdoc’s grin had faltered at the corners a bit before he recovered and raised his coffee mug at them. “You’re definitely a keeper.”

From outside his bedroom window, he could hear the aging Vauxhall pulling up to park outside the flats. Another few minutes and the old man would be in the house. Might as well get his arse out of bed and get himself dressed. He rolled from the bed with a huff and grabbed his cane to hold his weight so he could get to his feet. Dressing was a bit of a chore, but Murdoc and Nina could flip each other shit for the ten or fifteen minutes it would take him to make himself presentable. He could already hear Murdoc and Nina talking and laughing out in the kitchen and dining area. Once dressed, Alec emerged from the bedroom to see both Nina and Murdoc at the table with cups of coffee and his own mug waiting for him on the counter. “D’ you even knock an’more, old man?” he asked as he dropped into his chair. Maybe it was time to ask his parents to give him the spare key? Nina was here often enough. The only reason he had relinquished a spare key to his parents from the get go was in case of an emergency when he was originally the sole occupant of the flat.

Murdoc shook his head as he drank his coffee. “I pay for the place. Why the bloody hell should I have t’ knock?”

“Dunno, Dad,” Alec shot back, “maybe b’cause you dun’ fuckin’ live here?”

“Nina has a key an’ she dun’ live here.” He gestured across the table at Nina, who was drinking her coffee and trying to ignore them. “An’ she lets herself in just like I do.”

“Nina might as well live here,” Alec retorted. “She only keeps her place ‘cross town so her parents dun’ realize we’re livin’ together.” This was something she’d insisted on. She had clothing and even some personal belongings scattered through his flat that said she resided there, but the majority of it all was still in her own place across town. She kept her place only to keep the wool over her parents' eyes. He was fine with this because he didn’t like Trevor and Trevor didn’t like him. He still didn’t understand why Trevor disliked him so much. He’d never done anything to the man. Not a word out of line or even a social faux pas. Trevor Richards just hated Alec Niccals and there was nothing anyone could say or do to make the man feel otherwise. Alec really didn’t give a damn that Trevor disliked him. Maybe it was some of his own father coming through, but it made fucking Nina all the more better and there was some secret evil joy in knowing that while Trevor and Laura took holiday in Germany, Alec and Nina had fucked all through her childhood home, even right on Trevor’s desk in his study. He’d fucked her twice on that desk, actually. Hope ol’ Trev enjoyed being at that desk after his daughter’s bare arse and Alec’s balls had rubbed all over it.

Murdoc cocked an eyebrow, sipping his coffee casually. “But technically she doesn’t live here...an’ still just lets herself in.”

“I’m not arguing semantics.” Alec drained his mug and got to his feet. No way was he going to try to dance around technicalities and context just to throw his hands up in defeat. “She lives here. You do not. Not that difficult t’ get, old man.”

Murdoc cracked a crooked grin, looking over at Nina. “Your ol’ man still a ball breaker, love?”

“I wouldn’t call him a ball breaker,” she said with a shrug. “But yeah, still his usual charmin’ an’ difficult self. Gotta give your son props though, Murdoc. We go an’ have dinner over there a few times a month an’ m’ Dad never fails t’ try t’ get under his skin. Serves food Alec can’t eat or manage without help.” She frowned, setting her mug aside. “He puts on a good face ‘bout it, but I have t’ hear it all the way back home.”

Murdoc waved his hand dismissively. “Trev’s a wanker. That’ll never change, love. Good on the boy for bein’ able t’ put up with that without blowin’ his top. I woulda laid the tosser out by now if I had t’ put up with him as much as you lot do.”

Alec cleared his throat. “Oi, I’m right here. You dun’ need t’ talk ‘bout me like I’m not even in the fuckin’ room.”

“Whatever,” Murdoc scoffed, his attention on Nina as she rose up from the table to refill her coffee. “You’re lookin’ pretty fit there love. Gotta hot date?”

“Of course,” she sighed, rolling her eyes dramatically. “There's nothin' I look more forward t' than pushin' papers for some law firm before makin' my way t' deal with them twats at the market.”

“I could a'ways come in an' flirt with you an' the other girls. Brighten your day, I'm sure.” It was their little joke between them. The market both her and Alec worked at was the main market that Murdoc and Hailey used for their shopping. Though all the clerks knew Alec’s parents, it never stopped Murdoc from making one of the girls blush. Much to Alec's intense embarrassment, Nina played along with it. Couldn’t deny that it was funny at times, especially when she dropped some innuendo that would make Murdoc stumble and balk in his words.

Alec grabbed a cigarette, lighting one and tossing an unlit one towards Murdoc. “So what do we owe this visit for an'ways, Dad?”

Murdoc appeared thoughtful a moment, lighting the cigarette offered. “Amy's birthday is comin' up. Figured maybe you or your lil' Firecracker here might know what she's wantin'.” Frowning into his coffee mug, he let out a sigh. “Your Mum said it's my turn t' wrangle the gifts this year.....she's tired of a'ways doin' it.”

“Amy lives with you, Dad.” Alec stared at his father from his place at the table. How typical. How boody typical. That man has lived in the house with his wife and kids for years and years and he doesn’t even have an inkling of what Amy might want? She was a peculiar kid, but it shouldn’t be that difficult to grab a gift or two for her. “You seriously dunno what she wants or likes?”

“What the fuck do I know 'bout teenage girls, boy?” Murdoc said through a strange laugh. “Be it m’ luck she wants somethin’ I can’t give her.”

“An' I haven't lived under the same roof as her in four bloody years,” Alec retorted, leaning back in his chair. “Girls change a lot from thirteen to seventeen. Why dun’ you ask Tess what she wants? They hang out often ‘nough, yeah?”

Murdoc shook his head. “Can’t ask her b’cause they dun’ really hang out much an’more. Tess has her own circle of mates an’ Amy just isn’t one of them an’more.”

Alec wasn’t sure what to think of this revelation. Amy and Tess had always hung out together. At least they did until he’d moved out. Where ever one was, the other hadn’t been far behind. They were quite different in personality, though, so it was possible that they simply drifted. Easy enough to be friends when you’re close in age and your parents are best mates, but once you’re old enough to start making your own choices...

Nina looked back and forth between the two men. “She’s at the right age t’ get drivin’ papers...How ‘bout a car?”

Murdoc erupted into hysterical laughter, almost falling from his chair. “Have you ever been the passenger of a car she's drivin'? No fuckin' way, love. No fuckin' way.”

“Can't be any worse than you,” Alec laughed. “You're damned near blind.”

“Oi, fuck off, boy,” Murdoc snapped, flashing him a disgusted look. “I still pass the drivin' exams!”

“Only b’cause you’ve memorized the bloody thin’,” Alec cackled. “Bet a few quid if they change up the tests, you’d fail!” It was pretty funny seeing how quickly the hackles had come up. The man had been driving long before he’d even been old enough to get his papers and the idea that he might actually no longer be safe to do so was a foreign thing to him. Never mind the fact he could no longer see more than a foot away from his face. He’d never admit this, though. Murdoc was a stubborn old fool who’d never admit weakness, not even to his wife and kids. And it didn’t help that the licensing place hadn’t updated their tests in over two decades. Murdoc knew the eye exam tests like the back of his hand. Always passed with flying colors.

Nina went to refill her coffee, her back to them as she spoke. “Surely there's somethin' Amy might want but doesn’t have.” Both her and Alec looked over at Murdoc. He merely stared back at them with a strange expression on his face. There just a moment before he suddenly became animated, cracking a grin and shaking his head. If Nina caught on to the weird look, she didn’t let on. She reclaimed her chair with her fresh cup of coffee, smiling sweetly. “She collects vinyls, yeah? How ‘bout a couple of hard t’ find albums?”

Murdoc stared at his coffee a moment before shrugging his narrow shoulders. “Reckon I could that. Dun’ suppose you lot know what she might be wantin’?”

Alec found himself mentally skimming through the vinyls he knew Amy possessed. She had quite the collection, some of it stuff their own parents didn’t have. She generally saved up to get titles she wanted, rarely ever dropped hints about any bands she was interested in. The mental catalog came up empty. He couldn’t think of any particular album she might want. Amy’s hobbies were few and the vinyl collecting had only come about after their father had purchased her a few hard to find titles for her thirteenth birthday. It was the go-to gift when you couldn’t think of anything else. Alec had been guilty of this also on several occasions when it came to Christmas or birthday gifts for his younger sister. Gift cards or cash seemed impersonal. And he’d hit pay dirt when he’d unwittingly snatched up the album he’d eventually gift to her. _Sticky Fingers_ from The Rolling Stones had been in pristine condition. Not a single wear mark on the edges, not a scuff, not an anything. He’d paid handsomely for it, but only after calling Nina and asking its worth. Worth five times more than what he paid for it. Amy had been ecstatic because she’d been trying to locate that album for a while. Even their father – who had connections in the music industry – hadn’t been able to locate it.

Nina appeared between them suddenly, chin in her hand as she stared sweetly at Murdoc. “Isn’t she missin’ a Pink Floyd album? Which one issit? _Dark Side of the Moon?_ No, it’s one of their earlier ones, yeah? _Animals? Wish You Were Here?_ ”

Murdoc stared at her, chewing his lower lip. He was thinking. Probably doing the same as Alec, mentally sifting through Amy’s impressive collection. “I think it’s _Wish You Were Here._ ”

“I'll tell you what,” she said, still smiling sweetly at him. “You leave it up t' me, you get the credit for it, but I do have _one condition_ t' this act of kindness.”

He narrowed his eyes, now glaring at her as his mouth set into a thin line. “A condition, eh?”

“Yes.” Nina reclaimed her seat, still smiling at him and ignoring his less than pleased expression. “I know where I can find it. I can get it in time for her birthday. But the condition of my generosity is....you give us the spare key. No more showin' up unannounced an' no more blowin' up Alec's phone so bloody early on a Sunday.”

Murdoc’s expression didn’t change. He continued to stare back at her, the muscles in his face tense. Smashing the cigarette out into the ashtray, he took a deep breath and exhaled loudly before finally speaking. “An' if I refuse?”

Nina shrugged, waving her hand dismissively. “Meh.....good luck findin' that album.”

“Where is it?” he demanded.

“Why should I tell you?” she asked sweetly, a small mocking smile on her face. “I'd hate t' disappoint your lil' princess on her birthday, Murdoc.”

*************************

Sinking down into the sofa, Nina kicked her feet up onto the small coffee table, flicking on the television. It had been a long goddamned day and she was glad her work day was over and she was now home for the night. She could hear Alec behind her in the kitchen fixing them something quick to eat so they could get settled and watch the telly. He’d worked half a day and had been home for a few hours already. There had originally been plans to find a nice place to have dinner, but he wasn’t feeling up to it and honestly, she was okay with them just kicking it at home because she was tired anyway. Alec was whipping up his famous cheese toasties and she was definitely down for that. Thick slices of garlic toast with herbs and four different cheeses layered between them. Artery clogging goodness was what it was.

She could remember wrinkling her nose at it when he’d first presented the sandwich to her for lunch one day, wanting to treat her to a nice meal not long after he’d gotten the flat. She’d never had a sandwich like this before and hadn’t been sure what to think about it...that is, until she’d taken that first bite. You had to eat it with a fork, it was so oozy. It would lead to a string of small discoveries about the man that she’d never thought about. He was an outstanding cook. Tremor be damned, the man could make just about anything after watching a person make it once. And he loved experimenting with different dishes. She’d incorrectly assumed he’d live off frozen fare or his Mum’s cooking once in his own place as most young men would, but he’d told her that he liked cooking because it required little exertion on his part and everyone needed a talent. His father was a talented musician. His mother was a whiz with numbers. His sister...well, she had a talent for being irritating. Alec couldn’t play an instrument and even simple math frustrated him, but cooking had come naturally. He was always looking for new things to cook. Fancy cheese toasties using home made bread. Rigatoni and chicken from scratch. Nina could count on one hand how often they’d gone to a legitimate restaurant for a date. They had almost always had dinner at his place because he would make whatever she was in the mood for.

She’d also learned that he didn’t have a bad singing voice. Overhearing him in the shower one morning, humming to himself before finally erupting into a Panic! At The Disco song. Rocking out in the shower as he rinsed his hair, belting out High Hopes, oblivious to his audience. The only thing he couldn’t do was reach the singer’s amazing high pitch and range. She’d also discovered that he would crack and balk once he realized he had an audience. Extremely self conscious about it. He’d never sang in front of anyone. Not even his parents. His parents had no idea he could even sing. She never pushed it or bothered him when he did start singing, happy to simply lay in the bed and listen to him, feeling privileged just being able to hear this when no one else had.

Alec sat beside her suddenly, plopping the plate of food into her lap with a fork. “You're amazin', you know that?” Setting his plate onto the coffee table in front of them, he pulled the spare key out of his pocket. “Still can’t believe you managed t’ get him t’ hand this over.”

She shrugged her shoulders nonchalantly as she started to eat. “It's a gift, love.” She’d actually been gobsmacked that Murdoc had begrudgingly handed her the spare key. She had assumed the old man would only relinquish the key when you pried it from his cold and dead hands. But after a little buttering up and assurances that she could indeed find the album, he’d handed it to her with a scowl. All well and good they got it. Now they wouldn’t have to worry about Murdoc barging into the flat or blowing up their phones first thing in the morning. A deal was a deal after all. Taking a bite of her food, she gestured at the key with her fork. “I'd put that somewhere safe. Make sure he never finds it.”

“Your knicker drawer,” Alec laughed. “Safest place on earth from him.”

She erupted into a cackling laugh, almost choking on the food she was still trying to chew. That would be a great place for it. Given how the old fart couldn’t even look her in the face for weeks after walking in on them that one time, her panty drawer probably was indeed the safest place in the entire flat.

They continued through their meal with the only sounds being that of the telly. Nine found herself caught up in some prime time drama program. Engrossed in the love triangle that had formed between three key characters, it caught her by surprise when Alec hauled her across his lap, mouth on her neck. “Gotta finish what you started,” he mumbled against her throat. “Been waitin’ all day for this.” She shifted in his grasp, hiking her skirt up so she could straddled him, mouth meeting his. There was urgency in the kiss, his hands creeping beneath the hem of her skirt and clutching down hard onto her backside. He used his grip on her to pull her hard against him, grinding against her. When she moved her hips against him, he groaned into her mouth, hands releasing her backside and fumbling with his lounge pants. Every nerve ending felt like it was on fire and it took every ounce of control on her part to raise her backside up so she could work on getting her panties off. Pressed back to one another, they began frantically peeling the rest of their clothing away. Mouth back on his, feeling him adjust himself beneath her so he could ease himself into her body.

It brought her back to their first time together in the front seat of her car. Alec wasn’t a tall man, shorter than his father even, and he never seemed bothered by this. Entirely logical about it all. His Mum wasn’t tall and his Dad wasn’t tall so he had no reason to believe he’d get taller than he was. Five foot six, only an inch taller than her. He did have a wicked sense of humor about it, pointing out not many manlets had seven inch cocks. She frowned against the kiss, shoving the weird random thoughts away so she could focus on riding that beautiful cock. Focus on his groans against her mouth as she pressed against his body, allowing him to bury himself her. The act went hard and fast, release hitting hard enough for her to cry out and brace herself against him as he gripped her thighs, whimpering against her chest as his own moment washed over him.

He was still pressed against her breasts, panting as he finally lifted his head and pulled her down into another kiss. His green eyes still glazed when he broke away. Blinking, snapping out of whatever good places he went when the bliss crashed into him. He frowned, peering up at her with a furrowed brow. “Not that I enjoy breakin' the mood, but where do you plan on findin' that album?”

“I have no fuckin' clue,” she whispered as she climbed from his lap and got comfortable beside him. “Think eBay might have it?”

“But you said....”

Nina pressed her fingers against her lips. “Hush now. We'll worry 'bout all that tomorrow, yeah? My goal was gettin' that key from him. An' I got it. I know your Dad loves you an' all, Alec, but let's face it, havin' him barge in at the worst possible moments was gettin' _real_ old. He’s done it ‘nough times now that if I were dead on a slab somewhere, he’d be able to identify m’ body by the mole on my thigh an’ the birthmark on my arse.”


	16. Ties That Bind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: CHILD ABUSE REFERENCES, CSA REFERENCES, ANGST, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

“Do you ever wonder what it woulda been like if you an’ Mum were never hurt as kids?”

Alec's question echoed in the air, bouncing around in his already rum-soaked brain. The boy sat casually in the overstuffed chair flanking the sofa, his gaze steady on his father. Murdoc stared at his iced drink, pondering over the question. In all honesty, he rarely gave his past much thought. It was something terrible and traumatic. Something he couldn’t willingly bring to his consciousness because it triggered pain and rage. It was easier to keep them buried. Keep them hidden. Walk a fine line because those demons still reared their head if the conditions were right. A smell. A change of the air. Even something as simple as a color. Little things most wouldn’t think of could trigger a free-fall of buried memories. And with those memories came emotions he hadn’t dealt with in decades. Fear. Hate. Self loathing. He’d learnt to managed it better the older he got. When he knew he wasn’t in a good place, he’d hide in the studio and make music. It allowed him to channel the emotions and sort through his troubled thoughts. Just play and play until he felt more himself. The kids never questioned it and Hailey usually recognized it enough to know he needed his space. Better he channel it this way in solitude versus how he used to handle it, which was screaming rages where he destroyed things and hurt anyone stupid enough to be in his way. It had been part of the reasons he’d been so horrible to Stu during their early years of Gorillaz.

He reasoned it was the same for Hailey. He knew she had her own triggers and she relied heavily on routine. Much like him, the triggers could be damned near anything. One of the key traits he recognized with her was the rubbing and twirling of her hair. It was a weird self soothing thing she’d done since she was small. He was aware that something had happened when she was wee one, something that involved fire. Unfamiliar with the details and he couldn’t dare ask her about it, no matter how curious he was. What had surprised him the most was that whatever had happened, it had stuck with her long after all her other abuses had been shoved into the dust of the past. It clung to her. Haunted her. He knew this only because they’d passed a half burnt down home one time on a drive. Laying in the front yard was a charred crib. Upon seeing the charred remains of the crib, she’d made a weird noise and her breathing had become panicked and raspy. Right there in the passenger seat, she had curled into a fetal position, fingers rubbing and twirling a lock of hair, rocking gently and whispering to herself. Alec had been maybe seven or eight at the time, Amy still small enough to ride in an infant carrier. Alec had started sobbing when Hailey wouldn’t respond to him and this had only agitated Hailey further. Murdoc had finally pulled the car over in an effort to talk her down.

He clinked the ice in his glass, blinking at the amber liquid that sloshed within. Their childhood was crap, accept it and move on. Work on getting beyond that and rise to the top while giving everyone the middle finger as they passed them. It was normal to have moments where they couldn’t function. Moments where their pasts came clawing up through the surface. It was what led him to do speed. It was what led him to be such a degenerate fucker while with the band. It was what led Hailey to weaponize her body. They both had come out of those individual hells with their own sets of baggage. For her, she managed it with medication and therapy. For him it was his music and solo nature walks to the creek down in the woods.

Alec was still staring at him, probably trying to gauge his expressions. Poor lad probably wished like hell he’d been born to parents who were more functional. Could only imagine what Show and Tell was like when he was younger. Telling his mates and teacher about how his Dad hides in a studio and cries while he plays or that Mum rocks and twirls her hair. He’d asked about their pasts a few times before, mostly satisfied with their vague responses. He’d been far too young for the gory details. Can’t exactly tell a six year old that Dad was beaten so bad, he’d had bones broken or that Mum had been held down by other kids so a foster dad could beat her. Can’t tell a ten year old that Dad had been tossed down a flight of stairs when he was his age and then kicked and stomped on by his own father or that Mum had been raped when she was barely three. Perhaps it would have helped Alec put it all into perspective, but Murdoc had never been willing to volunteer any more information than he felt was necessary. Hailey was even more elusive about it and this was mostly due to the severity of what she’d gone through. Severe enough that she’d actually had reconstructive surgery as a young adult. Murdoc wasn’t exactly sure what it entailed and didn’t want to ask. He tried not to think about it. It was Hailey’s business. He’d become more acutely aware of it after they’d had Amy. Staring at wee little Amy and the realization sinking in. It was one thing to hear about it, he reasoned, but another thing to stare at a little tot and realize that Hailey had been this small and this innocent while some beast had used her for their own filthy wants.

“So...do you, Dad?” Alec whispered, oblivious to Murdoc’s somewhat vacant expression. “Maybe think ‘bout what it might have been like if your Mum kept you or if Mum’s Mum hadn’t died?”

Murdoc glanced over at the boy through a veil of greying hair. “Occasionally,” he muttered. “Try not t', really.” He tipped the rest of his drink back and set the empty glass aside. “Why do you ask?”

“No reason,” Alec said in a low voice. “Curious, I s'pose.” He paused a moment, still staring directly at Murdoc as he chewed his lower lip. “You an’ Mum ever want t’ have more kids? Like more than just me an’ Amy?”

Okay, this question was a bit more out of left field. He’d been less prepared for this question than the previous questions. The boy wasn’t serious, was he? Even he knew Amy had been a surprise, hence why there was the gap between then. If things had gone the way they’d wanted, Alec and Amy would have only been a few years apart at best, not over six years apart. “Lil’ late for that now, dun’ you think?” He chuckled without meaning to, leaning back in his chair. “I was a’ready over fifty when we had your sister. Can’t imagine ‘nother one keepin’ us on our toes. ‘Specially after Amy. We were exhausted from chasin’ her ever’where t’ say nothin’ of the constant ringin’ in our ears from her shrieks.” Erupting into a good-natured laugh, he rose from the chair and ambled over to the mini bar to fix another drink. Even Alec had been exhausted by Amy’s need to move and scream. The idea that he’d welcome another sibling after the almost three years of seeing a half naked tot screech through the house was almost fucking laughable. Murdoc had also made a point to get himself snipped shortly after the running and screeching began. Not even Hailey was aware he’d had it done but he doubted she’d be upset about it. Amy had fucking exhausted them both and knowing Hailey, she probably would have shoved his arse through the clinic doors herself the moment he suggested it.

“What ‘bout my older brothers?” Alec certainly was coming from all directions today. Was the lad having regrets about being born into a family of hot messes? Wanting to know what it might have been like if his parents hadn’t been so fucked up or even what it might have been like if he’d had his older siblings in his life. Alec wasn’t the first kid on the planet to know he had siblings he may never meet. Happened to loads of kids. Just be thankful you were aware you had them and have an idea of what they look like. Murdoc could remember being terrified of accidentally fucking a sister during his youth in Stoke. Hell, for all he knew, he probably had. His father had gotten around just that much.

“They’re grown men now,” Murdoc finally said as he dropped back into his chair. “Well in t’ their late thirties or early forties with families of their own. Dunno much ‘bout them, Alec. Had no idea they even existed until around 2008 or so an’ they were adults then.” He frowned as he took a drink from his fresh glass. Christ, he could have gobs of grandkids running around now, couldn’t he? Such a weird and abstract thought. “Maybe I’ll try t’ reach out an’ see if they wanna meet you an’ Amy when you’re a bit older,” he said, cracking a small smile at the lad. “I know we dun’ have much t’ say t’ one ‘nother but they might be open t’ gettin’ t’ know you an’ your sister.”

Alec’s face broke into a massive smile, satisfied with this response. Murdoc was glad for the comfortable silence that followed. Both of them in the sitting room, lounging in some nice plush chairs. It wasn’t often Alec would sit with him, usually more interested in hanging out that nerdy kid with the big fucking ears. What’s his name? Turner? Tompkins? No, it was Tucker, wasn’t it? What made the comfortable silence all the more delightful was noticing that Alec was sitting like him with a glass of soda in his hand. Slumped back, feet spread, arms resting on the plush arms of the chairs with the drink dangling with his right hand. It was so strange seeing someone who shared only a touch of his looks copying his pose without even realizing it. There were other things that caught Murdoc’s eye too, things that Alec wasn’t even aware he was doing. The way he’d chew his bottom lip with his brow furrowed. The tone of his voice when he was unhappy about something. Silly and maybe even superficial things, but Murdoc had loved seeing it. Couldn’t explain why he loved seeing it, he just did. Maybe because he was still mostly convinced Alec took more after Hailey. But even Stu had started pointing out that the older Alec got, the more he looked like Murdoc.

Alec rolled his head across his shoulders, now looking at Murdoc with a weird expression on his face. “Dun’ you ever wonder if you have an’more family out there? Brother, sisters, cousins...aunts or uncles?”

Murdoc let out a grunt in response, nodding slowly. “Used t’...ages ‘go. Dun’ bother with it much now. If there’s any family out there, they’re probably dead by now, mate.” A heavy sigh erupted from him as he scrubbed his hands across his face. “Have an older brother. He’s a cunt. Wouldn’t doubt I have a few more siblins’ out there. My father got ‘round.”

“I know ‘bout Han,” Alec said, taking a drink from his own glass. “Mum told me you had an older brother. But no other brothers or sisters? What ‘bout your Mum’s side?”

“Dunno, m’ Mum,” Murdoc said in a low voice more to himself than to Alec. As far as he knew, she’d died a few years after he’d been born. At least, that was what his father had told him. Told she was a whore. Considering the filth he’d sprung from, he had come to the conclusion that his mother had been just as much of a degenerate as his father had been. Probably some skanky disease ridden bar slag who’d gotten nailed by the two hump chump and spit him out eight or nine months later. Wouldn’t have surprised him in the least. It certainly would make sense. Trash born from trash.

“What 'bout Mum?” Alec asked softly. “Does she have any siblings she's aware of or other family?”

“No,” he said with a shake of his head. “She searched a little, but not much information could be found. An’ as far as she knew, based off what little she’d found, she was an only child.”

Alec leaned forward in the chair, now peering at him with curiosity. “We're it for our family then? Just you, me, Amy an' Mum?”

“Yup,” Murdoc said, looking over at the young man. “Her parents are dead, my father is dead.....”

“Your Mum?” Alec queried.

“Dun’ remember her. Reckon she’s probably dead as well.” Murdoc eased himself into the chair, tipping back his drink and draining the glass. “Left me when I was just a baby.”

“An' you never wanted t' search for her?”

Murdoc shook his head, his expression growing dark. “No point. Why look for someone who never wanted me, y’ know?”

“She must have stuck 'round a lil', right?” Alec was frowning at him now. Fucking hell, he really did look like him, didn’t he? “Had your brother, had you...”

“Different Mums,” Murdoc said quickly. “Half brother. Dad bragged 'bout how he took Han from her in order t' get more government money. Han’s Mum raised him until he was two, I believe. At least that's what they told me. Dad found out 'bout him, found out he could get extra money on the dole if he had a dependent an' managed to take him from her. Sad when you think 'bout it all......Our lives woulda been so different had our Mums kept us.” He dropped his gaze to the floor, brow furrowing. It seemed strange to think about their lives being anything than what they’d become. He and Han may never have known one another. Probably best that way, considering the knuckle dragger used Murdoc as a punching bag as much as their father had. “M’ father told me my Mum ditched me on his doorstep. He said a lot of other thins’ ‘bout her I won’t repeat. I just know I dun’ remember her. Pretty sure I was an accident.”

“That’s not the worse thin’ in the world, Dad,” Alec said softly, the ghost of a smile on his face. “I’m an accident too. An’ so was Amy, when you get down t’ it.”

This made Murdoc erupt into a loud and cackling laugh. Lad had it right, didn’t he? He’d been an accident and technically, Amy had been one too. Quite the batch they were. He, Alec and Amy – Accidents R Us. The only one who’d been planned for was Hailey. At least Alec had a great sense of humor about it. Most kids would probably be traumatized at finding out they were accidents. He and Hailey had always been honest to Alec in that regard. He was an accident but this didn’t change how they felt towards him or how his arrival into their lives had changed the game plan. At least that was how Hailey had explained it, much more tactful than he could ever be. He didn’t have time for sentimental and flowery bullshit. He would have been overly blunt about it. Alec was an accident. He was conceived when his parents were just a hook up. They’d felt a connection with each other, but had otherwise felt nothing for one another. It had taken months before he’d warmed up to the idea of being a father. Did he love them now? Well, that was a stupid question because he was still there with them, wasn’t he? Willingly had another one with her, yeah? He hadn’t run off to Timbuktu yet, had he? Murdoc’s smile fell at the corners. Satan’s balls, this poor kid was going to be on some sort of intervention show in twenty odd years, wasn’t he? Peddling a life story of the washed up rocker Dad who only stuck around because the old blasted sod knew nobody in their right fucking mind could put up with the bullshit Hailey puts up with.

Alec set his glass onto the table between them. “I get the idea that I was an accident an' all, but what made you decide t’ stick ‘round an’ give the whole Dad thin’ a go?”

Murdoc's brow furrowed, unsure of just how to answer. He wanted to say that it was complicated, but it really wasn't. Stu had set him straight mostly, though Murdoc would never admit this. But it really boiled down to being older and realizing he’d found a good thing he wasn’t ready to let go of yet. Hailey hadn’t been some strung out groupie whore. Sure, he’d initially saw her as no different than the numerous other women he'd shagged through his life, but unlike the others, he’d picked up on the fact that there was something else beneath the surface. The broken always recognize the broken, right? Sounded stupid as hell, but he couldn’t really describe it any other way. Seemed so weird to remember back when they’d found out about Alec. He’d about shit himself. The thing that had finally made him take pause and re-evaluate the situation had been Hailey telling him he could walk away if it wasn’t what he wanted. She didn’t know what she wanted then, but if he had no desire to stick around, she was more than willing to simply part ways and go back to Seattle. It had made him realize that maybe he did feel something more for her because he was faced with either sending her home and he hadn’t been ready for that or keeping her around and, in doing so, accepting the child. Still feeling Alec’s stare, he cleared his throat. “Reckon I had t’ acknowledge I was gettin’ older. Found someone who could put up with me even if she was kind of a hot mess herself. Realized we had a chance t’ make it better. Can’t speak for your Mum, but for me it was knowing I could break a cycle that went back generations. The first Niccals not born in t’ dire poverty an’ abuse.”

Alec smirked. “Kinda cheesy, Dad.”

“So what if it is, you lil’ taint?” Murdoc barked, feigning offense. “Cross m’ heart, man, tellin’ the truth. Us Niccals go back hundreds of years. That’s hundreds of years of abuse, poverty, alcoholism an’ whatever other substances those tossers got their hands on. Feel blessed, boy, the last Niccals born t’ a relatively normal family was probably durin’ caveman times.”

“So even with all the technology available...DNA websites, the internet, search forums...you an’ Mum never considered really lookin’ for an’one an’ bringin’ your families t’gether?” Alec raised an eyebrow, staring over at him with the glass on his knee. “No desire t’ look at all?”

“Considerin' where we came from an' how our lives crossed paths, we were simply happy t' at least have each other, Alec,” Murdoc said, grabbing his cigarettes. “We just didn't see the need t' include or seek extended family.” Perching one on his lip, he lit it quickly, shoving the lighter into his pocket. “I'm assumin' this is where you're goin' with all the questions 'bout family an' all. My family was shit an' your Mum has no family. We have each other, your sister an' you.....an' that's all we need an' want.”

*************************

He could see the figure riding down the street. Darting around the cars, skirt flapping in the wind, her bright neon green helmet a beacon in the distance. Upon pulling up to the steps, Tessie hopped off her bike and shoved it into the rack next to the steps. Still clad in her school uniform, loose Ren and Stimpy hoodie hanging off her, she shed the backpack from her shoulders and pulled the helmet from her head, revealing a pixie cut. It took Alec a moment to register the haircut. He’d just seen her a week and a half ago and she’d had long hair. What was it about girls and their desire to alter their appearances so drastically? It wasn’t a bad thing, just something he could never understand. Mum had done similar things too. She’d had shorter hair when she’d been pregnant with his sister. Dad said it was a chick thing and even he couldn’t understand it.

Tessie didn’t appear to notice his stare, working on chaining her bike to the rack before standing upright and staring at him with curious blue eyes. There were times he forgot she was several years younger than him. She’d inherited her father’s height, already as tall as him at barely ten years old. She was staring at him, probably picking apart his sloppy looking uniform and overstuffed backpack. How was it she could still look put together even with a hoodie and after riding a bike through the city? His shirt became untucked the first thirty minutes of classes and his trousers were usually always wrinkled because he rarely hung them up. She scanned him over quickly, her mouth quirking just at the corners. “What's goin' on, Alec? Said it was important.”

“I need your help,” he said, shoving his hands into his trouser pockets. “You can circumvent the library's security an' filters right? I'd search at home, but I dun' wanna leave a history b’cause I dunno how t’ clear it so my parents dun’ find it.”

“Searchin' for what?” she asked, shouldering her back pack and following him into the library. “What d’ you need t’ search for that you can’t use your laptop?”

“It’s complicated,” he said with a shrug. Tryin’ t’ search for family. Mum's family, the other side of Dad's family.....Find out if they're looking for them, maybe seek them out myself an' see if they're willin' t' meet all of us....”

Tessie froze just as they stepped within the doors. “Why not ask your folks 'bout it?”

“Dad says leave it ‘lone,” he muttered bitterly as they walked towards the computer area. “It’s a touchy subject for them both. I mean, I know it was bad for them but it would be nice t’ know if there’s extended family out there somewhere.” He dropped down into a chair and booted up the computer in front of him. “Ever work on a family tree at school an' realize you have no information beyond your parents? Mum wouldn't even tell me her parents' names.”

“I do, actually,” Tessie said in a matter of fact tone, sitting beside him in the vacant chair. “My Mum's side. She was anonymous genetic donor material carried in a surrogate, Alec. I have a whole side missin’.”

Alec tapped his log in information, pulling up a web browser. He hadn’t thought about that. But this meant Tessie would understand where he was coming from, right? The desire to know. The desire to fill in the gaps. “Dun' you ever wonder 'bout her side of the family?” he asked softly. “Who she took after in appearance? What her mother or father looked like, even if they weren't actually together?”

“Sometimes,” she muttered with a shrug as she logged in to the computer at the station beside him. “But considering the laws an' the fact that her creation was part of some government experiment, we'll never know. So I have t' be satisfied with that. I have no choice.”

“Well, I have information t' go on an' the means t' get more.....” He dug through his bag, pulling out his school binder. Opening the binder, he pushed it towards her. “Mum's birth certificate an' Dad's birth certificate. I have names. An' Mum's bank card t' that account she rarely uses. If I need t' pay, I have the means....”

Tessie's eyes grew wide as she stared at the contents of the binder. “Christ, Alec, your parents' are gonna kill you if they find out you took their papers.....How'd you get these?”

“Safe in the attic,” he said with a proud smile. “Found the combination t' it written on a post-it note in Dad’s studio. Dad rarely gets in t' the thing, so he keeps the combo on hand in his desk.” Ignoring Tessie's disapproving look, he pointed at one of the documents in the binder. “Dad's Mum was only sixteen when she had him. Her age coulda accounted for why she left him with his father. This also means there's a chance she's still alive.”

Tessie shook her head, her face settling into a deep frown. “Alec, you went behind their backs t' get this stuff an' stole your Mum's bank card. Listen, mate, you thought he was mad when m’ Dad put glitter in the vents of his car...he's gonna have your hide on display in the sittin’ room if he finds out you did all this.....”

“An' if I find what I'm lookin' for, it will be worth it,” he muttered, examining his Dad's birth certificate. It was all at his fingertips now, wasn’t it? He still couldn’t understand why his parents never wanted to search. A decade or two ago, he could believe it too difficult, but now? People willingly spit into vials to find out what regions of the world they came from and those sites matched you with countless others who shared common ancestors. The internet itself was full of registries and old newspaper articles. Why throw up hands in defeat when there were so many avenues one could take that weren’t available the last time they tried to look?

Tessie frowned, looking over the documents Alec had stashed in the binder. “Aren’t you ‘fraid of hurtin’ your parents, though? I know this is a touchy subject for your Dad. He was hurt pretty bad as a kid, Alec.”

“An’ so was m’ Mum,” he snapped. “I want t’ know more an’ I also want some kind of closure for them, Tess.” He exhaled loudly, casting a glance at her. “Ever seen your Mum break down t’ the point she dun’ even recognize you? Ever watch your Dad hide himself in his studio an’ listen t’ him rage, panic an’ cry b’cause he’s ‘fraid of hurtin’ ever’one?” He could feel Tessie’s stare on him as he continued to browse through some of the sites the search engine had brought up. He had never told anyone this. Not even his teachers. He understood why it happened now but when he was small, their behaviors had confused and frightened him. Too young to understand back then. Like that time he’d caught them fighting in the kitchen when he was small. He was old enough to know that no family was perfect but he did often wonder if others dealt with parents like his. Or was it just the luck of the draw that two broken people had come together and this was the outcome? They must have done something half-arsed right, though, because both he and Amy were reasonably well balanced, right? Their parents had always been honest with them about things and tried to make sure he and Amy weren’t exposed to their own individual dysfunction.

“Your Dad hides in his studio t’ cry?” Tessie’s surprised tone made him with he hadn’t said anything. When he looked over at her, she wasn’t smiling. She actually looked sad. “M’ Dad told me Murdoc had a temper an’ hurt m’ Dad a lot when they were with the band.” Her brow furrowed, eyes now searching the computer monitor in front of them. “Has he hurt one of you b’fore? Is that why he hides?”

Alec leaned back in the chair, unsure of what to say. “He an’ Mum got in t’ a fight once, a really bad one. Dun’ really remember how old I was. Amy wasn’t even born yet.” He searched his memory, trying to clear up the blurrier parts that had faded over time. “He said somethin’ t’ Mum that set her off. She started hittin’ him. Slappin’ him. He pushed her t’ the floor an’ then climbed on top of her, started slamming the side of her head in t’ the floor.” Phantom emotions stirred, remembering being scared, remembering running into the kitchen and crying, begging them to stop. He hadn’t given the aftermath of that any thought in years and yet he could feel himself thrown back to that moment, crying his eyes out as he pulled on his Dad’s shirt and begged him to quit hurting her. Blinking back the sting of fresh tears, he shook his head. “Dad disappeared that night. He was back when I woke the next mornin’ but he was gone that whole night.”

“Your Mum didn’t call the cops on him?” she asked softly, not bothering to hide her shock. “She just let him leave the house?”

“I guess,” he said with a shrug. “I dun’ really remember much beyond the fight. I know he was back when I woke the next mornin’ an’ that was that. Probably more goin’ on than what I saw, I’m sure.”

“If my Mum saw that, she’d probably have kicked his arse.”

“Dun’ tell her what I told you, please?” he asked softly, frowning at the computer monitor. “My parents are kinda messed up an’ that’s just how it is. Reckon they handle their baggage in their own way.” Chewing his lower lip, he turned to her. “An’ ever’ parent fights, I guess. Tucker says his parents argue too. Dun’ your parents ever have arguments or an’thin’?”

Tessie shrugged, flipping through the documents in his binder. “Not really. M’ Dad’s a softie an’ wouldn’t dare try t’ contradict Mum on an’thin’. If Mum gets frustrated with him over somethin’, he folds ever’ single time.” She lingered over his Mum’s birth certificate, her brow twitching as she scanned the information over. “An’ while Tucker is right, your parents have an extra added layer t’ it all. They both went through some pretty traumatic thins’ when they were kids.”

He took the binder from her hands and opened it up onto his lap. “Should probably get t’ what I came here t’ do, Tess. The search results are pretty limited...can you bypass the library’s firewall or whatever its called?” She didn’t argue about the abrupt change in subject and he was grateful for that. His stomach quaked at the idea of word getting around that there’d been some questionable events between his parents. Tucker was Alec’s best mate and he didn’t even know in depth details. But it wasn’t fair to paint the situation like it was an every day thing. It obviously wasn’t. His parents had weird ways in showing it, but he could tell just by how they acted with one another that they cared for each other. Seeing how they smiled at each other when chatting at the kitchen table during their morning coffee. Hearing their laughter as they wrestled around on the sofa. Watching them play footsie with each other in the chairs of the sitting room while reading. Those moments when the bad reared its ugly head, the other was always still there for them. He’d seen his Dad hold his Mum and whisper to her during her erratic episodes, rocking with her and smoothing her hair and he’d also seen his Mum talk his Dad down from whatever emotional cliff he was balancing on in those moments. And then there were the _really bad_ moments, moments where you knew there would be no riding it out. Dad telling Alec and Amy to remain in their room so he could handle their Mum while you listened to her babble to herself or even start screaming and sobbing. Mum advising them not to bother Dad in the studio while you heard him smash things and scream curses and eventually break down. The moments were rare and he could count on one hand how often they'd happened, but they’d happened often enough for both Alec and Amy to know the protocol. Such was life when your parents were damaged goods, eh?

Returning his focus to the document, he glanced up at Tessie, who was already tapping away on the keyboard in front of her, plugging in code here and code there, succeeding in bypassing the library’s security. Once she’d reached past it, she pulled up the search engine. “Wait...wouldn’t your Mum’s records be sealed? I thought American courts sealed up records of kids up for adoption.”

“She was never adopted,” he pointed out, eyes still on the screen. “They only seal the records once the kids are adopted.” He frowned, staring at the information in front of him. “Wilson is too common of a name...I need t' narrow it down, somehow.”

“Let’s try your Dad first, then,” she said with her eyes glued to the monitor in front of her. “What’s his Mum’s name?”

“Isabella Miranda Livingsten,” he said, showing her the paper. “She was sixteen in nineteen-sixty-six. Date of birth shown here as February tenth, nineteen-fifty.”

“She coulda easily married shortly after he was born, Alec. If we dun' have her married name.....” She typed the information in, staring at the different sites and names. “Does it say where she was from?”

“No.” He looked the paper over carefully, seeing not other information that could help. “Just her name an' age at the time he was born.”

“Okay,” she muttered, looking over the screen. “The last name is spelled differently than normal, so that might help.....” She started typing quickly, grabbing the mouse to skim through a few results that had popped up, finally stopping on a page and turning the monitor to Alec. “There's an Isabella Miranda Bennett that lives in Essex....age seventy-five. She's mentioned here in an obituary for a Thomas Bennett who passed away last year. Survived by his wife, Isabella, their four children an' six grandchildren....”

Alec stared at the obituary with a furrowed brow. Of course the one picture included was the person who had passed, which was obviously the woman’s husband. He continued to stare at the picture of the man. This man could have been his Dad’s stepfather. And survived by four kids. Dad had younger siblings. Dad had nieces and nephews. “The age is 'bout right....Think it could be her?”

“Won’t know until you check it out, yeah? Hold on.....see if we can find her in the phone directory.” She opened up a new tab and typed in the woman’s name, cracking a broad smile. “Yes, she’s listed! I have a number.” She scribbled it down, shoving the paper at him. “What's Hailey's Mum's name? That will take a bit more time since all those records are overseas. An' if the library realizes I've disabled their filters, they'll boot us both out.”

Alec looked at the number in his hand, Tessie's request unheard. He hadn't really thought that far ahead. Never considered the possibility of actually finding anyone. It had been just an idea. A desire. After only maybe twenty minutes of looking, Tessie had found him contact information of a family member. The woman who had given birth to his father and disappeared from his life. The woman his father insisted he had no desire to know. The woman his father had probably been raised to hate. She was hours away from them, still alive and living whatever kind of life she had. He could take the Underground to get over to Essex. It would be an all day endeavor, which meant that any potential contact would have to wait until the weekend. And what if it was the wrong person? The name was common enough. But surely there were only so many Isabella Mirandas born in nineteen-fifty.

Tessie’s voice snapped him from his thoughts, her hand on the binder now and tugging it away from him. “Alec....I need Hailey's mother's name, mate. C'mon, we're on borrowed time here!”

He blinked, looking up at the monitor. “Deborah Jade Longmire. An' she was twenty-three when Mum was born. Date of birth shown here as March twentieth, nineteen-fifty-four.”

Tessie tacked away on the keyboard, jotting down notes here and there. Alec wasn’t sure they would find anything. The name was as common as her father’s, Paul Wilson, but the date of birth might narrow something down. The woman was dead, though. Even if they found an obituary on her, what information could it provide that they didn't already have? From what little his Mum told him, he understood that Childrens Services did try to locate her mother's side, all to no avail. Alec frowned, dropping his gaze to the floor. He could still hear Tessie tacking away at the keyboard, typing the information where-ever she could think it was necessary, clicking link after link. This could all very well become a lengthy and thorough process. The only one they had a fighting chance in finding was his Dad’s mother. A whole half of his Mum’s side seemed to have completely disappeared. He looked back up at Tessie as she browsed through the various articles and sites the search engine provided. “What 'bout those registry thins' they use for adoptees when they're searchin' for blood family?”

“Good point,” she murmured, backing out and trying again under a new search. “Even if Deborah's parents are dead, she may have had siblings.....”

“We could also ask Hannibal 'bout Dad's Mum....you think?” he mused, staring again at the name and number they'd jotted down.

“Dun' hold your breath on that, Alec,” Tessie said, shaking her head. “They dun' get 'long at all. Haven't spoken t' one 'nother in 'bout twenty years or so. Dad told me all 'bout that siblin' love. Hannibal used t' beat on Murdoc just as much as their father did. Even when they became adults, Hannibal smacked Murdoc 'round a bit. He hung 'round your Dad durin' his time with Gorillaz only in the hopes of seein' the cash flow trickle down his way, Alec. An' continued t' bully him all the while.” She frowned, looking over at Alec. “There was this one time, right 'round the time they were getting ready t' release the second album that Hannibal had shown up lookin' for a hand-out from his baby brother. Murdoc told him where t' go, basically. Hannibal beat the hell outa him, left him laying there on the front steps of Kong, took the cash outa your Dad's wallet an' took off. Ever wonder ‘bout your Dad’s missing back teeth? That was from his older brother.”

“Dad told me it was from not brushin’ them ‘nough...” Alec frowned, his gaze dropping to his hands. No wonder his Dad felt no need to seek family. The one he had kept him around as an ATM and punching bag. It was odd hearing about the details of what his Dad had to go through with Hannibal. Dad made his dislike of the man well known, but Alec had no idea of the details behind it all. A grown man beating up his younger sibling for the cash in his wallet. If that didn't scream trash, he didn't know what did.

Tessie tugged at his sleeve, pointing excitedly at the computer monitor. “Oi.....Alec, I think I found somethin'!”

“What is it?” he asked.

“There's several people on two different registries that are lookin' for a Baby Girl Wilson.” She started scribbling the information down. “Three of them. One claims t' be a sister.”

“That can't be possible,” Alec murmured. “Mum was supposedly an only child.”

“Still doesn't hurt t' check it out, Alec,” Tessie said in a matter of fact tone. “She just claims t' be a sibling from your Mum’s father’s side. She's looking for a Baby Wilson, born spring of nineteen-seventy-six or nineteen-seventy-seven. Your Mum's birthday is April, yeah? It's too close t' brush off as a coincidence, if you ask me, mate.”

“What 'bout the others?” he asked, now peering at the registry screen.

“An aunt an' a cousin. Those are solid leads, too. Searching for a Baby Girl Wilson. The aunt claims t' be the younger sister of a Paul Wilson, mate. Says here she was seventeen when he passed an' remembers a social worker showin' up at her parents' house askin' them 'bout takin' in his baby. Parents refused t’ take the baby. They were upset with Paul over a divorce and runnin’ off with someone. Says here that she tried lookin' for the baby once she was out on her own, but social services wouldn't give her any information since it had been a few years.” She sat back in the chair, staring at the information. “The siblin’ who’s lookin’ for her...holy hell, Alec, I think Hailey’s father left his first wife for Hailey’s Mum. It would explain why his family wanted nothin’ t’ do with her when she’d been orphaned.”

He uttered a humorless laugh. “You got all of that from a small paragraph, eh?” He read the information on the registry, his face settling into a frown. It was actually a very feasible scenario. An older sibling who was seven or eight when his Mum had been born. Paul Wilson was almost a decade older than Deborah. Had it started as an affair? Was it possible they’d never even been married? It would certainly explain the animosity his family felt towards the baby born from their union. He wrote down some of the information, gesturing at the other registry entry. “What's the cousin's story?”

“The cousin is the aunt's son,” Tessie said with a shrug. “They're tag teamin', it looks like. If Baby Girl Wilson doesn't see one, she might see the other.....if she chose t' look.” She highlighted the information, clicking on the menu to print the highlighted parts. “We have names an' numbers, Alec. Let's get t' work....”

************************

The boy was up to something. Disappearing nearly the whole day Saturday, half the day Sunday and then, the next weekend after that, repeating the process. Stu had even called, asking Murdoc if he knew what was going on because Alec would stop by to pick up Tess and then to the two would disappear the entire day. And now, weeks later, the boy was shuffling out the door again, citing something about meeting up with Tessie and heading to the city. No other explanation was given. This had both Murdoc and Stu curious because while Tess and Alec got on okay, they rarely ever hung out outside of when their parents got together for things. What the hell were they doing that had them bolting off together for hours and hours? Stu said Tess had been vague about their outings also. Stu had even started to throw out some rather thinly veiled implications and Murdoc shut those down quick. Relax, dullard, Alec wasn’t doing anything improper with her. Get your fucking mind out of the gutter. She’s a smart kid and she’s probably the brains of the operation, whatever it might be.

Murdoc stood in the doorway of Alec's room, frowning at the mess before him. Christ, it looked as if a tornado had run through the room. Had a peculiar smell, too. Could’ve sworn he and Alec had discussed the boy’s less than ideal hygiene habits a few years ago. Whatever, Murdoc didn’t have to sleep in this pit so it wasn’t his problem. He listened carefully, hearing Hailey huff and curse at the garden she was determined to kill. That patch of dirt was becoming a vicious circle for the woman. Plant, get hopes up and then kill it. Next season, repeat process. This meant she'd be occupied. He was going to get to the bottom of Alec's elusiveness. And if that meant going through his things, so be it. Just don't let Hailey catch you.

He strolled through the door, stepping over the random piles of dirty clothes and some of those Maxim issues that had turned up missing from the magazine rack by his favorite chair. Okay, mental note: send your size nine into his arse for nicking your shit. Considering how long Alec had been gone during the other outings, Murdoc was confident that he had some time to spare and walked around the room with little hurry. First stop, the bed. Kneeling down to the floor, he swiped away some of the clothes, clearing a space on the floor to lay flat and peer beneath. In the darkness beneath the bed, he spotted a box. “Ah ha!” he whispered excitedly, grabbing the box and pulling it out from underneath the bed. Just a plain little box, no identifiers on it to give him a clue as to what it was. He popped the lid, peering in, a low chuckle erupting from him as he took in the visible contents. Lingerie model clippings, most like from the occasional issue of Victoria's Secret that Hailey picked up out of boredom. Okay, typical adolescent boy shit, nothing spectacular. He pressed the lid back down and shoved it under the bed, getting to his feet and continuing his search.

Alec's backpack lay at the foot of his bed, something sticking out from underneath it. A white envelope. Murdoc knelt down, picking up the envelope and flipping it to see what it was. His eyes grew wide when he realized he was looking at a current statement from Hailey's American bank account. Why did he have this? It was unopened, already a few days old based off the stamp from the local post. Tearing the envelope open, he glanced over the statement, noting a series of random transactions. The account was billed for a series of long distance (overseas) calls and one search site that locates people. Now why the hell did Alec have this? And Hailey never used the account. So....he uses her card and then tries to intercept the mail so she doesn't catch the transactions? Fuck it all, the boy'd gone too far. He could handle the mouth, even the attitude the boy gave him at times, but thievery had zero tolerance in this house. Let alone stealing from the hand that feeds. He clenched the statement into his fist, stalking from the room and down the stairs, making his way towards the French doors that led to the back property. “Hailey!” he barked, spotting her still bent over the dirt she was growing. “You need t' have a good long talk with that boy!”

Hailey perked her head up from the shriveled remains of what he assumed were her tomato plants, sinking back onto her folded legs. “What did he do now?” she barked back. She was wearing one of those goofy wide brimmed hats he’d seen sported by many lil’ old ladies while they did their errands. If not for the seriousness of the situation, he’d normally give her a good ribbing.

He held up the wrinkled bank statement. “Stole your bank card an' used it! Found your current statement hidden in his room.”

Rising up from her cushion, she made her way across the yard, taking the paper from his hand. Her brow furrowed as she read over the transactions. “Where is he?” she asked, looking up from the paper. “There has to be a reason for these.....”

“Took off 'gain,” Murdoc said gruffly, gesturing at the house. “Just like last weekend an' the weekend before that. I dun' care what he was buyin' with it, the fact remains that he still took it an' used it without permission.”

“I'll deal with that part later, Murdoc,” she muttered dismissively, dropping her gaze back to the transaction list. “I wanna know what exactly he's doing to need the card for these things. Phone calls and a search site?”

“Who cares what an' why, Poppet!” Murdoc snapped, pricked by her dismissiveness. “He got in t' your purse, opened your wallet an' took the bleedin' card out. An' he tried t' hide it by hidin' the statement in his room....You better have life insurance on that kid, Hailey.” Gah, the woman was mental! How did this not upset her? He'd be livid if someone had done it to him (and many had). How could she be so nonchalant about the boy raiding her purse?

“Go make a damned drink an' cool off, please,” she said, waving at him dismissively. “I’ll ask him about it when he gets back, okay?”

He continued to stare at her, mouth slack and not sure he’d believed his ears. Had she not heard him? Alec had raided her bag and stole from her! They’d finally gotten the house back to some sort of fucking normal after they’d rode the wave of puberty hell with the lad and now he was fucking stealing from them. They needed to be harder with him. Not let so much slide with him because of his limitations. Maybe they coddled him just a bit too much. Too willing to turn a blind eye to the little spoiled monster he clearly was becoming. Christ, not even Amy was ballsy enough to do something like this and they’d both joked that Amy was making up for all the shit Alec didn’t do through the years. He continued to stare at her back as she walked back to the garden, leaving him standing there with his mouth agape. So what was the game plan, then? He frowned and turned back towards the house, mumbling under his breath. _Go make a drink?_ Christ, she could be such a patronizing bitch some days. Go make a drink. Indeed! Cheeky lil’ bitch can go fuck off. He’d talk to Alec himself once he got back. No point leaving it to Hailey because she was more concerned with the what’s and why’s. He slumped down into the overstuffed chair in the lounge, checking the clock. Alec had been gone a few hours. The idea of having to wait until the kid got home didn't settle right. He wanted that kid back and back _now_! He sat there, digging his nails into the arms of the chair, watching the clock tick and tick. He wasn’t sure how long he waited. Could’ve been a hour. Could’ve been two hours. He merely waited and fumed silently, catching glimpses of Hailey outside in her stupid hat, sometimes dusting dirt from her hands and other times looking at the bank statement again.

From outside, he heard the sound of a steps on the gravel drive. An awkward step. A step that was followed by a shuffling sound. That was Alec’s distinct step. Hard first step with a slight drag to the other leg. Back on his feet, he shot towards the front door, stopping short of the foyer as the door opened and Alec came through. Murdoc let out a low growl, catching Alec’s attention as the boy turned to face him, uttering a squeak when Murdoc leaned in so he was inches from the lad’s face. “You have thirty seconds t' explain yourself, boy,” Murdoc snarled.

Alec's face paled, his eyes wide as he took a few steps back, his lower lip quivering. “Wait....what? What did I do?”

“Dun' play stupid with me, Alec.....Care t' explain why I found your Mum's bank statement in your room?”

Alec's mouth flapped uselessly, his eyes locked on the steely slits that glared back at him. His words stumbled out, a trembling hand holding up a plastic bag. “Dad.....I can explain.” Murdoc snatched the bag from his hands, peering into it and seeing only a nondescript brown box of some kind. From outside, he could hear Hailey coming up through the yard. Alec’s eyes flickered between the French doors and Murdoc’s hard glare, seemingly unsure of what to do. Murdoc didn’t think the boy would try to make a run for it, but hard to say seeing that he hadn’t ever been this furious with Alec. He wasn’t even sure what he wanted to do. It took everything in his power to not cave to the desire to throttle the boy because part of him did want to know why he did this. For what reasons? Alec swallowed hard, gesturing at the bag. “Can I have that back?” he asked in a shaky whisper.

“What is this?” Murdoc demanded hotly, shoving the bag back at him.

“It's a package I was expectin',” Alec whispered dryly. “I need Mum here too.”

“Your Mum isn't gonna save your arse this time, boy,” Murdoc snapped, gesturing for Alec to go and sit down on the sofa. Hailey was coming in from outside, dusting the dirt from her hands. Her gaze shifted between the red faced Murdoc and the pale and trembling Alec. Murdoc rounded the sofa, sitting down at the other end, still glaring at Alec. “Right, we're both here.....Now tell us why you're a lil' thief.”

“Detective work,” Alec muttered, still shaking. He swallowed hard, his voice still trembling as he spoke. “I needed t' do this under the radar, so I borrowed Mum's bank card so I could get what I needed.”

“Like what?” Hailey asked, sitting in the chair. “You coulda asked and I woulda gotten it.”

“Not this,” Alec said. He gestured towards the stairs. “Can I go an' get the rest outa my room? I think you both will be surprised.”

Murdoc gave a curt nod, his eyes following the boy as he veered off and disappeared around the corner from the kitchen. They could hear his careful walk up the stairs. Hailey seemed quiet and curious. They could both hear Alec going through his room, eventually his steps indicating that he was coming back down. He emerged from the sitting room, cutting through the kitchen, juggling another box under his arm. A little bigger than a shoebox, just like the one in the bag still sitting on the floor in the foyer. Murdoc's furious expression melted to confusion as Alec sat down and set the box on the table and then grabbed the other one from the floor and set that beside it, shoving it towards Murdoc. “The package is actually for Dad,” Alec whispered. “The items in the box are for Mum. I wish I coulda said somethin' sooner, but it took weeks t' get the package.....”

Hailey opened the small box, staring at the contents. “What are these?” she asked, pulling out a picture. “Who are these people, Alec?”

“That would be Vanessa an' Terry, Mum. Your aunt an' cousin. Keep lookin'.” Alec turned to Murdoc, who was opening the package carefully. “Your Mum passed 'way a few months 'go, Dad. I managed t’ reach out an’ talk t’ one of her other kids. They had those an' wanted me t' give them t' you. They're letters your Mum wrote t' you that your father had returned. She didn't abandon you. Her parents forced her t' give you t' Jacob.”

It felt like the floor had given in under his feet. Murdoc pulled the tightly bound stack of envelopes and letters out with shaking hands, looking them over carefully. There had to be at least thirty of them there. All of them unopened, his father's ugly scrawl across them: return to sender. At the top of the pile was a simple black and white photo, a woman holding a baby. He blinked, staring at the photo. His stomach hurt. Every part of him felt like he was vibrating as he stared at that single snap, his mind frantic in its efforts to piece together timelines and events. Old memories. He could even hear his father’s words echoing in his head. _Whore mother. How could anyone love something like you? She was a whore who didn’t want you._ He opened is mouth to speak, a strained gasp escaping from him as he dropped the photo to the table and covered his eyes, fighting against the sting of tears. She didn’t want him. She abandoned him. Why else would he have been dumped on his father’s doorstep? Slowly removing his hand, his vision blurred from tears, he realized Alec was staring at him. Tearing his gaze away from the boy, he reached out and picked up the photo. He couldn’t take his eyes off the smiling woman and the little baby in her arms. It was strange looking at the woman, realizing some of his own physical traits were cruder versions of hers. The shape of his eyes. The upturned nose. Some of these traits Alec and Amy even had! More tears welled in his eyes as he turned his focus to the baby in her arms, realizing that he was looking at himself. A few days old, if that.

“She was just a kid when she had you,” Alec said in a low voice. “Got mixed up with Jacob, got pregnant, had you an' then her parents shipped her off t' some boardin' school. She wasn’t allowed t’ name you. She wasn't allowed t' speak of you ever. She did what she was told, got through school, met her husband an’ got married. Even her husband forbid her t' mention you t' the children they had. But she did tell them. You have three younger brothers an' a younger sister an’ they all want t’ know you.” Alec cracked a smile, his hand on Murdoc’s shoulder. “They were surprised t’ find out their big brother was the one an’ only Murdoc Niccals.”

“I’m a big brother?” he whispered in a strained voice, blinking up at Alec. “I’m the big brother...”

“Yeah,” Alec said, wiping at his eyes. “Seamus is fifty-three, William is fifty-one, Leon is fifty an’ Beatrice is forty-seven. They’re all dirty blonds like your Mum.” Alec reached down into the box, pulling out a color photo of the same woman. She was clearly older in the photo, at least by a good five or more years. Dirty blond hair piled up on her head, clad in a horrendously colored smock with a blond toddler on her hip. “This is her with Seamus. I think you an’ him took more after your Mum b’cause you kinda look the same when you smile.”

Murdoc continued to numbly sift through the photos and letters. Smiling faces, kids slowly turning into adults, the dainty woman with the dirty blond hair growing older and older, her hair turning white. Pictures of her with the man he assumed was her husband. Fucking hell, what was he supposed to feel right now because his brain couldn’t make up its mind! He could still feel the burn of tears, feel them fall down his cheeks as he skimmed over the letters she’d written, pleading with his father to let her have contact with her son. Letters that stopped shortly before his fifth birthday. Probably around the time she’d gotten married or maybe she had finally just given up. She never knew his name. Never knew what he looked like. Never knew he’d become a household name for years. He had younger siblings. He was the big brother now. He even had a baby sister. He swallowed back the lump in his throat, trying desperately to shove away the darker emotions that were surfacing. She abandoned him. She moved on. She had other kids. Forgot about him. Erased him from her memory.

Taking a breath, he looked over at Hailey, who was continued to sift through her box. Photos, so many photos. His gaze fell to a photo with a face he recognized. A picture of her Mum with what he assumed was her Dad. The aunt, her father's sister, had written a lengthy letter, explaining who she was and why nobody ever came forward. “My Dad,” she whispered, tears welling in her eyes. “He met my Mom at a local market. He was still married to someone else at the time.” She was holding another photo and what appeared to be a letter. “He had a daughter from the first marriage. I had an older sister.” She took a shaky breath as she held up more photos. Murdoc found himself staring at a woman who looked about Hailey’s age when the photo was taken with the same dark brown hair and green eyes. The genes were definitely strong in her family. Little things one might take for granted. He saw it in the photos he had as well. Hailey blinked, tears falling as she pulled out what looked to be the last photograph in the box. “Alec...how in the world were you able to do this?” She felt her voice catch as she set the photo on the table. A photo of a girl who looked no older than ten or eleven holding a rather pudgy looking infant.

“You were 'bout five months old there,” Alec whispered, peering at the photo over her arm. “An' that's your Aunt Linda. The one an' only visit she ever got with you an' she didn't even know your name. Paul just called you Baby Girl.” His expression became somber as he picked up the photo of the woman identified as her sister. “Kelly passed ‘way three years ‘go from breast cancer, ‘bout a year or so after she’d signed up on the registry lookin’ for you. Her husband is really nice. He was open t’ you reachin’ out t’ him if you want more pictures.”

Murdoc continued to stare at the aged photo in his hand, at the woman who smiled sweetly at the little baby in her arms. Light colored hair, probably fair complexioned. It was unsettling seeing these faces and recognizing all the little things that he, Alec and Amy shared. His father had lied to him. Lied to him his whole life. She never wanted to give him up. Her parents had forced her hand, which was the norm back then. She’d defied their demands she forget about him, still writing and begging to see him. Letters Murdoc would never know about because his father would simply have them sent back unopened. Lied. He lied. This shouldn’t have surprised him. Of course his father lied. That was what the sorry muppet always did. Lie, lie, lie and lie some fucking more. Christ, she was just a kid when he was born. Only a few years older than Alec. His father was well into his late thirties at that point, if he was doing the math right. Why hadn’t the police arrested him or something? What was the story behind all of that? Had his Mum been a party girl, one of those prim and proper Catholic girls who ran with the bad crowd to rebel?

Alec had done this for them. Connected them with pieces of their family tree that had been bare and missing their whole lives. Filled those blank spaces with faces and names. He cleared his throat, hating the lump that refused to go away or the heat on his face and the tears that streaked his cheeks. His voice came out in a hoarse whisper, strained as he tried to control the fresh flood of emotions that were too dangerously close to the surface. “Alec...how did you find all of this?”

“Tessie helped me,” he said, sitting between them. “I don’t have the dexterity t’ type like she can or know how t’ get ‘round search histories an’ firewalls. Needed her help t’ do all the tech stuff. I called ‘round an’ used that voice activate program you got me, the one where you speak an’ it writes for me? Used that t’ write letters t’ them. Tracked them down one by one.” He stood up suddenly, digging around into his back pocket. “There's one other thin', Mum.....somethin' I think will mean a lot....”

Hailey peered up at him, tears shimmering in her eyes. “What?” She looked as emotionally overwhelmed as Murdoc did. She’d been completely unprepared for the emotions that would come with this and that cool facade she usually peddled cracked almost immediately. Same for him, really. The whole thing was a big emotional mind fuck and Alec was about to throw something more at them?

Smiling, he pulled out what appeared to be a card. “It's a number t' a Carla Livingsten. You'll have t' speak up, though....she's hard of hearin'.”

Hailey slowly took the scrap of paper. She turned it slowly, revealing it to be a photograph. Murdoc peered over her arm, staring down at a woman with a little girl on her lap. The back of the photo had the phone number, but no other information. The little girl was smiling broadly at the camera, dark hair pulled into two curled pig tails, her dress one of those puffed and ruffled late fifties numbers. He cracked a smile, pointing at the little girl. “The kid kinda looks like you, Poppet.”

Alec nodded his head. “The photo was taken in nineteen-fifty-nine. The little girl is your mother, Deborah. The woman she's sitting with is her Mum, Carla....”

Hailey blinked back the tears, covering her face as the sob seeped past her lips. Alec’s smile melted from his face as she silently sobbed into her hands, the photo dropping from her fingers. Everything about this was overwhelming and Murdoc could one hundred percent understand the emotions behind it all. You could only take so much before you break and this was Hailey’s breaking point. The grandmother social services claimed they couldn’t find. The grandmother she hadn’t even been able to find. A woman who had eluded government professionals for years managed to be located by a pair of fucking kids. It was clear Alec hadn’t been expecting the reaction he got, now staring at her in confusion as she cried silently.

Murdoc frowned, picking up the picture of Hailey’s mother and grandmother, holding it side by side with the picture of him with his own mother. They’d gone through so fucking much and these people had gone on with their lives and left them to the wolves. A mother, a grandmother, brothers, sisters, aunts and uncles. Smiles and softness. Light and love. There’d been no room in their worlds for he and Hailey. Castaways because of petty adult squabbles and societal expectations. They’d been discarded and covered up, their existence reduced to little more than whispers of family gossip. Saying nothing, he let one of the pictures drop and got to his feet, briskly walking towards the stairs, taking them two at a time. Too much conflict and confusion. Unwanted. Didn’t belong. Christ, he could hear that bastard father of his as if the man was right in his ear. _Whore mother. Didn’t want you. Who could love something like you?_ He had proof that the man was right to some degree, hadn’t he? Smiling faces of the family she made to replace him. Children she’d birthed and raised with love while he’d suffered under the rule of an animal that broke his bones and spirit. Smiling faces that maybe looked a little like him, but had never known what real pain and hell was. Soft and weak, that’s what they were.

He realized he was still clutching one of the photos. He stared down at it, seeing his mother smiling face and him in her arms. What he wouldn’t give to be back in that time, oblivious to the hells and monsters that stalked this world. Letters from siblings who said she’d had no choice. Said she’d been forced. Ordered to remain silent about him. Nothing more than a weak slag who couldn’t fight back. Fuck society and their rules. If she could muster the courage to write to his father and acknowledge the son she’d been told to forget than she could have mustered up enough fucking courage to show up on the bastard’s doorstep and take Murdoc from that hell. But she didn’t. She caved and did what was expected of her like a good little fucking robot. Uttering a snarl, he threw the photo across his dresser. Why did this make him so fucking angry? He should have known that his father would lie about the absence of his mother, but why the fuck didn't she ever try to contact him once he was an adult? She’d had fifty-nine years to look. Fifty-nine years to finally tell people to fuck off and actually try to find him. But because some husband didn't want to acknowledge his existence to their little brats, she simply sat around and did nothing? Well, they could all fuck off for all he cared. He didn't need them. He'd made it this far without the need for his family. He had Hailey, Alec and Amy. That was all that mattered. Not some half hearted excuses and apologies from a woman who was now rotting in the ground.

Hailey stood in the doorway to their bedroom, watching him pace around. Her eyes were still red and wet from tears, but she was no longer crying. He wasn’t so sure about himself now because even as his fury crested, he could feel tears burning and threatening. She stepped further into the room, finally standing next to him, the touch of her hand on the back of his neck. “You alright?” she asked in a soft voice.

“Err....yeah,” he muttered, shoving a hand through his hair. “Just needed a moment for it all t' sink in.” He peered up at her, seeing the same conflicting emotions in her eyes that he was feeling. “Just can’t stop thinkin’ ‘bout the fact that they just moved on an’ forgot ‘bout us. My Mum left me there. Coulda came back an’ took me from all of that, but she didn’t...” He took a heaving breath, feeling tightness as the emotions surged back to the surface. “Could taken me outa that, but she didn’t. Moved on an’ forgot ‘bout me. Replaced me.” He stared at his hands, at the crooked finger his brother had broken when he was just a boy, at the scars that marred his arms from the needles. He could even feel phantom pains from every scar, every mark on his body, the vivid memories of their origin playing out in perfect clarity. “Left us an’ didn’t care if we lived or died,” he whispered in a thin voice, gritting his teeth. “D’ you know how many broken bones I’ve had? Too many t’ count. Hands, arms, ankle, ribs...” He frowned as his words trailed, looking at her. She said nothing, simply pressing herself close, the hand on his neck smoothing his hair. She was warmth and comfort to him, her scent filling his nostrils. He relaxed into her slowly, his arms sliding around her and holding her against him. Simply offering the comfort he desperately needed. He knew she was confused and in pain too and yet she was putting this aside to comfort him. He sighed against her neck, blinking back fresh tears. He’d run out of words to say. Too exhausted now to speak or even think.

Alec had given them something important but it had also highlighted the fact that they’d been abandoned and discarded. They’d crawled out of it and had done it all on their own without anyone’s help. They’d made it when people said they would fail. He closed his eyes, rocking slowly against her. Imagine how different they would have been if these strangers had stepped in when they’d been needed the most. All the weird little quirks they adored about each other wouldn’t have existed. No quacking noises to make the kids laugh and her roll her eyes. No random collectible action figure showing up in his house with him having no idea how it got there. No standing out in the front yard in nothing but his briefs and a cape, playing his bass guitar to embarrass Alec and his mates. No Alec. No Amy. No them. Hell, no Gorillaz. Awful as his life had been as a kid, if he hadn’t gone through all of that he wouldn’t have found fame with Gorillaz, wouldn’t have met the best mates a man could ask for and he certainly wouldn’t have met this crazy bitch and he rather liked her flavor of crazy, even if they exhausted each other.


	17. Roads Untraveled

It had all been a dream. That was what they told him. They provided nothing in the way of information that might help him make sense of this. Only that it was just a dream. It had never happened. Everything he thought had happened to him had never happened. He’d fallen into darkness a middle aged man and had opened his eyes as a twenty-nine year old boy. It didn’t make any fucking sense. How could he so clearly remember the life he’d lived only to find out it was just a dream? How could it be just a fucking dream? He could remember things like they really happened. He’d lived decades beyond his chronological years. Flickering images that felt like blurred old memories of him as a young man. He could see his parents. He could see Tessie. He’d been involved with Tessie but they were telling him this wasn’t true. He was with Nina and had a four year old son with her. No, that wasn’t right. He knew Nina, yes, but it had been nothing more than a fling. How the hell did this happen? How was it he could live a forty-odd year life – every part of it feeling as real as this room he now resided in – only to find out it was some warped dream in his head? Every little thing he thought he remembered had never happened. The more he tried to think about it, images coming through clearly in his head, he realized there were other memories there. Blurred and out of focus. Too blurry to make sense of, though. Too dominated by the images that he was being told never happened. No, no, no, none of it ever happened. All a dream. A hallucination. All the things he thought he remembered had never happened and the people he’d known and seen had either never existed or their roles in his life were vastly different.

There was another thing that confused him. This accursed body. He’d been a perfectly healthy man, hadn’t he? When did this happen? Was it from the seizure they claimed put him in the coma? Hands that felt tingly and numb. Hands that trembled hard and made even the most mundane of tasks beyond difficult. Legs that felt like they were filled with lead and took every ounce of mental energy to move. Practically no vision in his left eye, only able to see shadows and the occasional flicker of movement but nothing else. Being told he’d always been like this. Since he was a little kid. No explanation as to why, it just was. The woman who claimed she was his sister said he’d been healthy as a little kid, but something had happened to him. She didn’t know what only because she hadn’t been born yet when it happened. Tessie wasn’t born yet either. The only people who knew what happened were his parents and Tessie’s parents and none of them were volunteering any information.

He was still residing in the hospital. Had little choice in the matter seeing he’d spent five years laying on a bed. Muscles were a little atrophied and did require some help getting up and out of the blasted hospital cot. Didn’t help that his body was hell bent on not cooperating. His parents had brought his cane and he’d stared at it as if it were an alien, unwilling to use it. None of this felt real. None of this felt right. Nina brought the boy in but he couldn’t even look at them. He felt old and tired, still mentally feeling like the middle aged man he’d thought he was. Maybe this was the dream? He’d been living a regular life, laying down in his bed next to the woman he thought was his wife, falling into darkness and opening his eyes in this sterile white room with faces that looked familiar but were strangers. This was the dream, right? He’d wake up soon and laugh about it all.

The main lobby area where some of the other patients gathered to spend their day was relatively abandoned. A few patients lingered by a small ping pong table which had long ago been abandoned and now used for a table. The television in the corner was dark, nobody interested in watching whatever might be playing. It was normally a happy room, filled with laughter and constant happy chit chat. This was where they gathered as they continued to recover. Alec looked around the room from the chair he sat in, his mind rattling over what had taken place. He was too quiet and often mistaken for rude at times. Some of those who lingered in this wing had also woken up from comas, some even longer than him, but none of them mentioned dream lives that never were. It was darkness for them. Hearing loved ones but being unable to react. Hearing doctors and being unable to speak. The doctors assigned to his case were fascinated with his claims, wanting to know more about it. Since no others made any such claims, finding out that he'd lived this double life of sorts was some sort of special find. A double life, living twice as long as his true age and remembering everything as if it had actually happened. While his doctors were salivating at the thought of new avenues to research regarding coma patients, he was nowhere near as overjoyed. He was confused and angry. How was it he could see all that he'd seen only to find out it was some warped dream? Everything had felt so real.

Everyone close to him had been hurt and confused when he’d first opened his eyes. Well, they could join the fucking club because so had he! Praise the universe for the attending doctor, ushering everyone out before he said anything further to hurt them all. Ushering them out of the room with a stern “Give the lad some time t' rest....You lot can visit him after he's had a chance t' recover a bit.” His Dad had protested loudly and laced with his usual colorful array of language, but the doctor had been solid in his demands. Go home, get some rest. And this made Alec feel even worse, finding out that they'd all practically been at his side for five years, waiting for that day when he'd open his eyes and within a short while of him actually waking, he’d managed to confuse the hell out of them while the doctor was shoving them out. But he was grateful for the solitude. Able to collect his thoughts and talk with the doctors. Fill in the gaps, clear up and distinguish between what he'd seen in his head and what he was seeing now.

He was still unsure of the woman they said was his younger sister. Though a voice in the back of his head said he knew her and recognized her, he just couldn't. He really couldn't identify who she was. Even when she showed him the photos of them growing up together, he couldn't remember. In his head, she'd never existed. Though they'd grown up together and she'd been seventeen when the seizure had hit him, nowhere in the backlog of his brain could he find her face or voice. A stranger and nothing more. A stranger who looked like an oddly feminine version of his father, only with his mother's face. All these people that loved him and cared for him and he couldn't remember them or what they were really like. It was torture, that's what it was. And this body! This weak and shaky body that exhausted him. There was no way he’d lived in this body. It felt as if he was inhabiting someone else's body, confused at just what he could do to control it. It made him think of a book he'd read as a young man - or at least thought he'd read. Had he read it or was it part of the dream now? A book about two men who switched bodies and the main character had gone through hell in his efforts to adjust to the foreign flesh. That was exactly how it felt.

Uttering a curse beneath his breath, he forced himself to his feet, teetering where he stood. The cane he apparently relied on was still back in his room, unused since he had risen. Of course it didn't help one jot that he'd been immobile for so many years. The muscles weak and unworked for so long. The doctors had wanted him in physical therapy to help gain some muscle mass back, but he was determined. He could do this. Forcing his shaking legs to move, shuffling across the linoleum floor. He was in need of a piss anyway. And a cigarette. The energy needed just to force his legs to move made his head pound. One leg out, the other wanting to almost drag behind him. One hand wanting to press against his body as the other hung limply at his side, the one he apparently had held the cane with. He had to concentrate, focus, imagine his legs moving like normal. It had taken every ounce of mental energy he had to get that dragging leg to move like a normal leg for just one fucking step.

After taking care of business in the toilet, he gazed at his reflection in the mirror as he washed his hands. It was startling to see the full beard on his face. Hell, it was difficult seeing himself period. He was thin and gaunt, the beard hiding his hollow cheeks and sharply defined jaw, his dark hair long and shaggy. His Dad had originally tried keeping the beard under control, shaving his face every couple of days in the early weeks of the coma. It didn't go terribly well, his Dad had told him. He could shave his own face, but was completely incapable of shaving Alec's, nicking the young man's skin far too many times, the last time being so bad, it had left a scar. In the end, Murdoc had given up and allowed the beard to grow, merely clipping it and keeping it tidy. Alec supposed it wasn't entirely bad. The beard wasn’t a bad look. He had originally planned on having it shaved off, even acquiring the needed items from the little commissary the hospital had for long term patients. But when he had stood in the bathroom, razor in his shaking hand, he realized there was a very good probability that he couldn't do it. There was almost no control whatsoever. And then he found out that Nina had been the one who helped him when he'd still been conscious. She'd been the one who helped him with all the every day tasks he was incapable of doing. He couldn't drive, couldn't shave, could scarcely write and – blast all the demons in hell – couldn't wank himself off.

Shuffling down the hall, he paused in the doorway of his room, staring at the sparse furnishings and few scattered belongings. This room would be home for another week or so, the doctors had told him. He honestly was in no hurry at the moment. He didn't mind one jot. And though he suspected the doctors only wanted to hold onto him to pick into his head a bit regarding everything, he was still so overwhelmed and frustrated about shit to even want to return home. And where was home? Did he have a home to return to? He’d apparently had a flat of his own that he’d shared with Nina, but his parents had long ago canceled the lease on that and moved his belongings into storage. So nowhere else to really go then but his parents’ home. Uttering a sigh, he eased his body onto the bed, laying back with his eyes staring up at the ceiling. So everything he'd lived and seen was a lie. The world inside his head had warped all he'd known and made it into something else, all the main players still there, but their placement in his life greatly altered or eradicated completely. His Mum and Dad had been together from the moment he'd been conceived, he suffered from disabilities that originated from when he was a small child, he had a younger sister, Nina was his partner and the only child he had was five year old Ben. Tessie existed, but she was merely his friend. Four years younger than him, not just a year. She was currently involved with his best mate, Tucker. The children in his dream world were most likely phantom versions of himself and Amy as children, the birth order reversed, but spacing practically identical, something that had taken him a bit of time to sort out. The brain was an amazing organ, that much he knew. It had created this whole world within the confines of his head, like some warped version of The Wizard of Oz. Everyone he knew or seen in this life restructured to find their place in the one he'd lived in his head.

His physical state bothered him. The only ones who had any knowledge of how he'd come to be like this were his parents and both had been extremely vague. Brain injury, they said and nothing more. More proof of how amazing the human brain was. His intelligence mostly unaffected even though it was his brain that caused the motor control issues and the numerous seizures he'd suffered over the years. The worst cognitive issue he dealt with was apparently a shoddy memory. Well, no shit Sherlock. If he'd suffered seizures the majority of his life, like his parents said, it would be astronomical to not have some kind of memory issues. Another sigh erupted from him as he brought his hands to his face, rubbing away the tired and dull feeling that didn't seem to go away. He could probably sleep a little, rest up for when his family appeared again. Maybe now that he'd had a chance to take in everything, he'd be more willing to want to spend time with them all without unintentionally hurting them.

“Alec?” The voice was soft, familiar. Alec remained frozen in place, his hands still covering his face. From the darkness, he could hear the light tap of feet on the floor, sense the presence right there at his bed-side. Her voice broke through his jumbled thoughts again. “Alec, you 'wake?”

Pulling his hands away, he opened his eyes, looking up. She was only a little different in appearance versus what he'd seen in his head. Her hair was longer, bangs framing around her face, a little heavier than he could clearly recall (and he couldn't trust his memory on that since all he really remembered was the dream version), but just as tall and the sad smile on her face still making her face light up. Her overall presence seem to lift all the heavy thoughts and worries that had burdened him over the last few weeks. “Tess...,” he murmured, smiling up at her.

“I'm glad t' see you're up an' 'bout, mate,” she said, her smiling growing just a little broader. “Amy told me 'bout what's goin' on. Woulda found it a little amusin' if not for how much this seems t' be affectin' you.”

His own small smile collapsed, her voice bouncing around in his head, the words finding home in the softer parts of his psyche. “Amusin'?” he repeated, his tone cold as he narrowed his eyes at her. “You think it's amusin'?”

“Not like that,” she said quickly, pulling a chair over. “It's just so out there t' me, mate. We've never....well, we've a'ways been just mates, Alec. Never once did we toss 'round bein' more than that. Reckon I was just a tad stunned when Amy informed me that you thought we were somethin' else. An' married with kids? You have no idea just how hurt Nina is now, Alec. She's tryin' hard t' understand all that's happenin', even with the doctors an' your parents tryin' like hell t' explain. You spent six bloody years with her, mate, an' it's like she's never existed in your life at all.....”

“I dunno what's real or not an'more,” he muttered, sitting up. “How do I know this all isn't a dream, Tess? What if I wake up an' find myself in some hospital 'gain an' this ends up bein' the dream? What am I supposed t' believe an'more? It felt real an’ I’m bein’ told it never happened.” Exhaling loudly, he held up one of his hands, his brow furrowing. “How did this happen?” he asked, peering up at her. “My hands, my legs....Ever'thin'. How did I end up like this?”

The expression on her face told him she hadn’t been prepared for his desperate tone. Eyes that diverted from his, shimmering with tears before she blinked them away, staring at his hands. He imagined his parents had filled her in on everything, not just the parts she found _amusing_. Told her he didn’t remember anything, like an amnesiac struggling to find his truth. He continued to stare at her, almost pleading for answers. If they were mates, maybe she knew more than Nina or the girl that was his sister. Someone had to know something and not just his parents or Tessie’s parents! Why couldn’t anyone fucking tell him what happened? Why be so fucking vague? She looked back up at his face as she shook her head. “Dunno,” she said finally, sitting at the edge of the bed. “I wasn't born yet when it happened. From what I'd heard when I got older, it had somethin' t' do with brain injuries. Like a babysitter or somethin'. It happened when you an' your parents were on holiday in the US.”

He let his hand drop back into his lap, still looking at her. “Someone did this t' me?”

“Aye,” she said with a nod. “I dunno the details, Alec....Just bits and pieces I’d heard through the years. Somethin’ happened t’ you an’ this is what happened.”

He made a noise, dropping his gaze to his lap, brow furrowing again as he watched his hands tremble. He could barely feel them. Barely feel his legs. Every movement – every step – took so much strength and will power. Though his doctor protested his mobility without the cane, Alec had ignored him, determined to gain some sort of control over these useless and failing limbs. This was not him, not a part of him. He could remember with picture perfect clarity being so much stronger, uninhibited by these horrendous set backs.

Tessie's voice broke though his thoughts. “What exactly did you dream 'bout, mate? I mean, regardin' you, me, Nina.....”

Alec chewed his lower lip, eyes flickering up to her face. How much should he tell her? And would telling her push her away from him, fearful of his intentions? Seeing her in real life brought to his attention just how different she was compared to the one he'd known in his dream. The one before him was just as tall and wispy looking, but her face was rounder, blue eyes set just a tad different. Even her voice seemed different from what he recalled. He couldn't even really figure out where he could start with this mess. Square one? The differences between the flesh and blood them versus those he'd known in the dream? Taking a breath, he exhaled slowly. “I dun’ even know where t’ start...” He scrubbed his trembling hands across his face, exhaling loudly in the quiet and sterile room. “I was never like this.” He held up a trembling hand. “Nina was nothin’ but a one night stand. You an’ I got t’gether. Got married. Had kids. I mean...when the blackness took over just before I opened my eyes here, I was a middle aged man, Tess. Our kids were teens.”

“Is it possible that your dream was your inner feelins' an' thoughts?” she asked softly.

“I couldn't tell you, Tess,” he said, chuckling humorlessly. “My real life twisted an' warped in t' this dream, perhaps? All those I knew in this life were there, just their roles were slightly changed. Fuckin’ wild.” He paused a moment, peering up at her. “I never put the moves on you or an'thin'? Before I met Nina?”

Tessie broke down into a loud and barking laugh. “Christ, no! I would hope not, mate! You an' Nina got t'gether when I was fourteen. Mum an' Dad woulda killed you, I'm sure.”

“I wish I could make sense of all this rubbish,” he groaned, dropping limply back down into the bed. “I dun' want t' keep hurtin' ever'one without meanin' t'. I'm supposed t' feel somethin' for Nina an' I dun'. I'm supposed t' feel nothin' for you an' I do. The last thin' I recall was layin’ in bed next t’ you an’ then suddenly fallin’ in darkness before openin’ m’ eyes an’ seein’ you lot all ‘round. I watched kids grow up that didn't exist. I lived an entire lifetime with you an' it didn't happen....”

“Alec...” She rested her hand against his shoulder. “I wish there was somethin' I could say t' make it all better for you.” She was staring at him, every weird little muscle twitch telling him that she struggled with the information he’d laid out. Had he just destroyed a friendship that went back to their childhood? Christ, what if she started to avoid him now? What if this all became too weird for everyone and they all started avoiding him? The smile on her face faltered at the corners, her eyes searching his face carefully. “This is your life,” she murmured. “Whatever you feel, it's not real, mate. You dun' have feelins' for the real me, you have feelins' for an apparition.”

He shook his head, breaking away from her face, staring now at the bright and sterile wall. Though he knew she spoke the truth, he couldn't bring himself to believe it. Surely there had been something. A kiss, a hug, anything that could have haunted this life to alter the dream life. But what if it was something as simple as admiring from afar? It just didn't seem possible, though. The feelings he felt were too strong to be a mere crush. Too strong to stand on the sidelines with someone else and watch her slip through his fingers. With a grunt, he pushed himself back upright, clutching at the hand that still rested on his shoulder. She tried to pull her hand away, a noise escaping from her when he gripped down harder. “I dun' care if it was real or not.....I know what I felt, Tess.” He reached with his other hand, clutching at her other arm. He could feel every muscle in her body going taut, resisting as he tugged her towards him. He'd prove it, if he had to. Show her it was real. Never mind what everyone else would think. They didn't know what this was doing to him. Didn't know or understand the experience he'd had. She was here, she was soft and warm beneath his fingertips. The hand that held hers relaxed, reaching towards her face, almost groaning aloud as she allowed the touch. He moved forward, fingers curling into her hair, gently pulling her towards him.

Every conscious thought in his head seem to fade to white noise when his mouth pressed against hers. There was a gently urgency in the kiss, his trembling hands moving down her shoulders, circling around her back. Somewhere in the midst of the static in his head, he could hear her whimpering. The arms that resisted were now relaxed against him and if he didn’t know any better, she was pulling herself closer. It felt good. It felt right. His hands moved back to her hair, mouth parting slightly. She made a noise, drawing back, pulling away from the hands that tried desperately to hold her tight. “This.....this is wrong, Alec,” she whispered, breaking away. “I....I....We can't do this.”

Alec stared at her, his mouth slack. His hands fell limply away as she pulled out of his reach and got to her feet. Her demeanor appeared suddenly cold and detached, no decipherable emotion on her face at all. He watched as she gathered her purse and jacket, shaking her head. No, she couldn't leave! Struggling to get out of the bed, he almost fell forward. Pain and tightness in his chest as tears sprang to his eyes. He uttered a few desperate noises as he struggled to raise himself upright. “No....dun' go, Tess....Please....” His voice came out strained and cracking. But she wasn't looking at him, refusing to meet his gaze as she pulled her jacket on and moved towards the door, shaking her head. He forced himself forward, legs struggling to move as he shuffled towards her, a dull noise coming from his chest. Curse this useless fucking body! She was farther and farther out of his reach, veering down the narrow hallway to the lift. He'd barely managed to make it a handful of steps away from his room, the noise in his chest rising to a low wail. His legs couldn't take it anymore, caving beneath the weight of his body, knees buckling as he crashed to the cold linoleum floor, hands barely catching him before his face smashed against the hard surface. “No,” he moaned. “Dun' go....” He lifted his head, watching as the lift doors slid shut, Tessie disappearing completely, gone from him again.

********************

Murdoc's eyes surfaced from the newspaper, watching as Alec picked at his breakfast. After weeks of recovery, the hospital had finally been comfortable with discharging him. He no longer had a flat to return to, Murdoc and Hailey canceling out the remaining lease some months after he'd gone into the coma. Nina resided in the remodeled basement with little Ben. Hailey had encouraged Alec to spend time down there, spend time with her and the tot, but Alec still seemed to be fighting the reality of the situation around him. Murdoc tried to keep out of it, figuring that giving the lad some space would help him sort himself out better. He didn't need everyone coddling him and pushing him to do this or that. But it had now been two weeks since his return home and if he wasn't at the table picking at his food, he was upstairs in what had been his old room, quiet and brooding. He rarely spoke to anyone and when he did, he was cold and distant. He refused to use his cane, determined to prove he didn't need it. He'd fallen down the stairs the second day back, snarling venomous obscenities at both Hailey and Nina when they tried to help him back up. Murdoc let it slide, again reminding himself that the kid had to absorb a lot over the last month and a half. But his patience was starting to wear thin finally. He was growing tired of Alec spitting and hissing at Hailey, who was only trying to help. Tired of listening to his cold and detached tone when exchanging words with Nina. Tired of the young man's indifference to his son. Casting Alec another look, he set the newspaper down, clearing his throat. “Pull your head from your arse, boy. This _poor me_ shit is gettin' old. _Real fuckin’ old_.”

Alec peered up from his cold plate of food, narrowing his eyes at him and sneering. “Just leave me 'lone, you ol' codger,” he snapped, returning his attention to the bacon and eggs. “You dun' even have a clue what I've been through.”

Murdoc's face set into a deep scowl, his dark eyes narrowing with his own rising irritation. “I dun' fuckin' care if you went t' heaven an' got kicked out, you unpleasant lil' taint,” he growled, taking a drink from his coffee. “Ever'one here is tryin' t' help you an' all we're gettin' for our efforts is bitchin'. I've tried t' turn a blind eye t' your attitude for over a month, but I'm sick of it. Get it through your fuckin' head, Alec....None of that shit you're hangin' on t' ever happened. This is your life. Your real life. Get with the program. You have a girlfriend livin' downstairs with your kid an' you've barely acknowledged their presence in this bleedin' house. Quit bein' such a prat t' her. An' the next time you give your Mum any lip, I'll slap you in t’ next year, boy!”

Alec let out a cold and snorting laugh. “Like you could even touch me, _grandad_ ,” he growled, pushing his plate away. “How old are you, 'gain? Seventy-five? Even with this weak an’ disgustin' body, I could still knock your arse down. I dare you t' try an' lay a hand on me.”

Sneering, Murdoc leaned in close, meeting Alec’s stony glare, his bony finger inches from Alec's face. “Watch your tone, boy,” he hissed through clenched teeth. “I'll gladly take that challenge if you keep it up. I'll drag you t' the front yard so the whole world can watch me beat your crippled arse.” He held up his own hands, mocking the trembling. “See how good you can fight back when you can’t even hardly move the fuckin’ thins’!” He drew back when Alec pushed himself clumsily to his feet, grumbling under his breath. On his feet just as quickly, Murdoc realized the man wasn't going to back down, matching the older Niccals' glare. They regarded each other for a long moment before Alec tore his eyes away first, making an attempt to turn away. Murdoc reached out, grabbing Alec's arm. “Dun’ you turn your back on me, boy!”

Alec tore his arm from Murdoc's grip with a snarl, his other hand whipping around too quickly for Murdoc to react, connecting with his chest and shoving him back. Murdoc stumbled backwards, almost losing his footing. Fleeting moments of panic as he hit the far wall and braced himself, so sure he’d been about to fall. He took a heaving breath, fury rising as he took in Alec’s defensive stance. Alec stood mere feet away with his chest heaving, his own finger now wagging inches from Murdoc’s face. “Lay off me, you old fuck!” he barked, still panting. “I mean it, old man! Just leave me 'lone! All of you!”

Heart thundering in his ears, Murdoc regained his composure. The building fury wouldn't subside, now instigated further with the brief confrontation. He could hear Hailey moving towards the stairs, now alerted to the situation unfolding in the kitchen. Alec was moving away again, muttering venomously under his breath as he shuffled towards the living room in his effort to escape. No way in hell was the little fucker going to walk away from this. This was _HIS_ fucking house and he'd be damned if his own kid disrespected any of them. He didn't give two shits anymore about why Alec was being such a prick. Enough was enough. With a growl, he stormed towards the young man, grabbing his arm again and whipping him around hard to face him. The moment their eyes met again, he locked his hand around Alec's throat. Alec uttered a squawk of surprise, hands coming up defensively, fluttering against the grip Murdoc had on his throat. Murdoc bent close, their noses almost touching. “You wanna have a go now, boy?” he whispered icily. “C'mon, I dare you t' try that shit 'gain....”

“Get your hands off of me,” Alec hissed through gritted teeth, his trembling hands now fumbling against the grip Murdoc had on his throat. “Dun' make me do somethin' I regret, Murdoc.”

“Callin' me by name now, eh?” Murdoc clenched his hand down harder, hearing a squeak escape from Alec, the muscles in his neck tensed in his grip. “You've grown quite the set lately, yeah? Disrespectin’ your Mum. Actin’ like your own kid dun’ exist. Disrespectin’ me...This is _my house,_ boy. You’re just a fuckin’ guest an’ you’d better fuckin’ remember that!”

“I mean it,” Alec croaked. “Let go!”

Murdoc's face cracked into a feral grin, steely eyes boring into Alec. “Not so tough now, eh, boy?” He relaxed his grip, feeling Alec rip himself away, almost stumbling. Murdoc threw his finger into the man’s face, teeth bared as he spoke. “Dun' start shit you can't finish!” He remained where he stood, watching as Alec shuffled away, muttering and cursing under his breath. Huffing loudly, he hunkered back down into his chair, grabbing his coffee and newspaper. From the living room, he heard the sofa creak loudly as Alec slumped down, flicking on the telly. Opening up his paper, he peered around it at the back of Alec’s head. “Instead of lurkin' in there an' poutin', maybe you could – y'know – check on your woman an' kid, eh?”

“Fuck off, old man,” Alec grumbled, still staring at the telly.

This was getting pretty interesting. Never before had Alec really stood up to any of them. In spite of his own blinding fury, Murdoc tucked this observation away to mull over later. He remained fixed in place just at the kitchen table, glaring hard at the back of Alec’s head. Alec was still mumbling and shit talking under his breath. Murdoc might have been old, but he wasn’t fucking deaf. He opened his mouth, ready to unleash at the young man again, his words cut short by Hailey’s voice. “ _Enough!_ Enough from both of you!” She emerged from the room outside the kitchen, stalking towards them both. “I’m sick to fucking death of listening to the two of you argue. Sick of your mouth, Alec. And sick of yours too!” she snapped, throwing a finger at Murdoc. “I’m done with it all, both of you! Alec, I know things have been hard, but you need to pull your head from your ass and stop being an asshole to everyone! We don’t fucking deserve it. It’s uncalled for!”

“Tell your husband t' back off then!” Alec snapped back. “Why can't any of you understand that none of this feels right!” He got to his feet, holding up his trembling hands. “How did I end up like this? How is it I can remember bein' with Tess yet find out nothin' of the sort ever happened? Ever’thin’ I remember ‘bout all of you are lies, Mum! Ever'thin' I thought I knew isn't. I can't handle it. I can't handle you lot. I just want t' be left 'lone...” He stood up from the sofa, grunting as he struggled to move around her and grab his jacket.

She reached out and touched his arm. “You need to take a breather and listen – ”

“No,” Alec snapped, cutting her off. “I’m done listenin’ t’ you all tellin’ me what I need t’ do an’ what I need t’ remember. I meant what I said. Leave me be.” He flashed an acidic look in Murdoc’s direction as he limped his way across the lounge and out the French doors. “I’m just fuckin’ done.”

************************

He shoved his hands deep into his jacket pockets, making a slow and clumsy walk towards the back property. From inside the house, he could hear his parents arguing over how to handle him. Mum wanted to give him space, Dad wanted her or him to go after him and make him come back and apologize. He shook his head, lost in too many troubling thoughts. He knew he was being difficult, knew that he was expecting too much of them. Just as they were expecting too much of him, though, right? Assuming that being in his childhood home would help jog his warped memories and bring him back to their reality. But he didn't want this reality. He would have been perfectly content being left in the dream state, with everyone as he knew them. Not this. He couldn’t fucking handle this. Nothing felt right. Nothing felt real. Like he was trapped in some nightmare he couldn’t wake from. He wanted back the world he knew, the world he recognized. Everything about all of this felt wrong and different. Seeing his parents but not feeling like they were his parents. Seeing Nina and feeling nothing for her. Seeing their son and not knowing what he was supposed to feel.

Staring out at the back property, he found himself momentarily in awe. It was amazing to see that his view of the house and property hadn't been terribly altered in the dream state. He could even hear the creek in the woods. At least nothing had been changed about the house. Thank the universe for small miracles. He ambled along, humming to himself and trying not to think of his father’s enraged look or the surprise and hurt on his mother’s face. Deep down, he knew they meant well and were probably only doing what the doctors had recommended. Well, maybe Mum was. Dad was just fired up because he wasn’t use to people challenging him. He paused mid-stroll, casting a glance over his shoulder at the house. The parents in this reality were the same as the parents in the dream reality. There were some tiny little discrepancies, but nothing that fucked with his head. Not like how it was with everyone else. Tess was different. Nina was different. Even his little boy was different. What was his name? Ben? And Tess was involved with Tucker? When the hell did this happen?

Upon reaching the incline, he peered down, wondering if he should chance it. Not that anyone had commented, but he felt he was starting to get a decent control over his legs and hands lately. Especially his legs, it seemed. Silver lining right there, yeah? But the incline looked ominous suddenly, his confidence in his mobility suddenly fragile. Taking a breath, he started down the incline slowly, trying in vain to keep his feet steady as he crept downwards. The traction in his trainers wasn't terribly great and he could feel himself sliding down a little as he fought to keep himself steady. He managed a few more feet before his feet finally gave out, landing on his back and skidding down the wet grass and mud into a heap at the base of the incline. “ _FFFFUCK_ _!_ ” he spat, staring up at the overcast sky. He simply lay there, unmoving, too frustrated to even try. He could feel the wet ground starting to seep through his jeans, his jacket. Christ, it figured. He let out a groan, rolling to his side as he struggled to get himself back onto his feet. Upright once again, he moved slowly towards the trees, passing by the clearing with its odd formation of rocks. He paused, staring at the clearing with narrowing eyes. That was different, though he couldn’t quite place exactly _what_ was different about it. The placement of the rocks was a bit different than he recalled and the ground itself seemed off. He inched closer, peering at the ground and scanning over the boulders that flanked the clearing. Two distinct marks on the ground itself where the grass grew just a little different.

Turning away from the clearing, he shook his head and continued back towards the trees. More muck and mud. More wetness. He stepped carefully, arms out to steady himself. Should’ve grabbed some different shoes for this, he thought to himself. Upon reaching the treeline, his feet came out from under him. He let out a bark of surprise as the world spun haphazardly in his vision again, flailing helplessly as he went slamming down onto his back, his head hitting the earth hard enough to flash stars and colors behind his closed eyes. Groaning, he rolled and attempted to push himself up, almost upright when his feet came out again and sent him smashing back into the mud. Wailing in frustration, he flailed against the ground, kicking at the dirt. He probably looked like an oversized toddler at the moment, snarling at himself and this life the cards had dealt. He didn't give a jot how it looked to an audience, he continued to thrash against the dirt, a string of obscenities pouring from his mouth, sputtering and cursing until his throat was sore and his hands and legs hurt.

“You done?” Murdoc asked, making his way slowly down the incline, carrying Alec's cane. “If not, I can give you 'nother moment or so...”

“Yeah,” Alec panted, craning his neck and watching his father's descent. He was momentarily amazed at how agile the old man was. Murdoc was well over seventy and moved down the incline as if it were nothing. Of course he was a pro at this. He’d been traveling up and down the incline for decades, knowing where to step without even having to look. He came to the bottom, only sounding a little out of breath, ambling towards the still fallen Alec. Peering up at him, Alec cracked a crooked smile, seeing the hand extended out. Grabbing it, he allowed Murdoc to pull him to his feet, dusting at the back of his jacket. “Thank you,” he muttered, flashing another smile.

“Dun' worry 'bout it,” Murdoc said gruffly, lighting a cigarette. “I was gonna come down an' give you a piece of me mind 'bout your nasty lil' attitude as of late, but seein' you flop 'round down there like a toppled turtle kinda makes up for it, I think.” He let out a throaty chuckle, swiping the rest of the dirt from Alec's back. “I know you're havin' trouble wrappin' your brain 'round all that's happened. But the best thin' you can do at this point is try t’ move forward. Move on, forget 'bout it all, Alec.” Alec frowned, watching as Murdoc made a slow and casual walk towards the clearing, easing his frame onto one of the rocks. “You have your partner an' your son up there. A son whom you've practically ignored since comin’ home. A son that _you_ wanted, Alec....A son that you an' Nina were tryin' for.”

Lighting his own cigarette, Alec sat down onto another large rock. “He was planned?”

“Might as well be,” Murdoc cackled, exhaling smoke. “Told us yourself you were plannin’ on proposin’ t’ her an’ you were talkin’ ‘bout kids. That you were sort of tryin', I guess. Not that I wanted t' know more details than that....”

Alec's expression paled. “An' her father?”

Murdoc’s expression darkened, his eyes dropping to the grass at his feet. “Disowned her. Won't have an'thin' t' do with her or Ben.” He rested his arms on his knees, flicking his ash into the grass. “Reckon, just as well. He was a fuckin’ cunt.”

“He was.....” Alec laughed, taking a long drag from the cigarette. “That he was.”

Murdoc smoked his cigarette in silence, staring at the clearing and the trees around him. Alec couldn’t help but stare at him, taking in all the things that were different about him yet the same. In his dream reality, his father had been older, seeing an idea of what he might have looked like in his eighties or nineties. The man who sat upon the rocks only a yard or two away from him didn't look too different than what he'd imagined. Heavily lined face, age spots on his hands and in his hair line, his hair a brilliant silver and thinning. Alec could even see the outline of his scalp through the hair, especially when the light hit him just right. Dark brown eyes that looked weary and tired through a pair of wire framed glasses. Alec dropped his gaze to the old man’s hand, spotting his cane. The cane he had been determined to not need. Murdoc held it up, looking it over and if Alec didn’t know any better, there was a flicker of pride in his face as he set it back by his feet. “You dun' need this an'more, yeah?”

Alec reached a trembling hand out. “I think I do, Dad. At least from time t' time. I'm gettin' better at movin' without it, though.”

Murdoc nodded his head as he passed Alec the cane. “So I've noticed. Far cry from the kid who simply accepted it all as it was.” He reached out, patting Alec's shoulder as he got to his feet. Movement got their attention, both of them perking their heads up to see Nina making her way down the incline, Ben's hand firmly grasped in hers. Stubbing out his cigarette, Murdoc gave his shoulder a squeeze. “One day at a time, boy. We’re all adjustin’ just as much as you.”

Alec peered over his shoulder, a dull feeling of dread opening up. He wasn't sure he was ready to face her after how he'd treated her. She'd been patient, though hurt by his coldness. Simply waiting. Alec cleared his throat, glancing up at Murdoc. “I'm sorry I was such a twat.”

“Apology accepted,” he grumbled. “You’ve never stood up t’ me b’fore. Not gonna lie, I was impressed.” He turned back towards the incline, shoving his hands into his pockets and starting the careful trek back towards the house. He passed by Nina and Ben, pausing long enough to scuff the boy's hair before resuming his walk, huffing a bit as he climbed the embankment.

Alec finished his cigarette, flicking the butt into the damp grass. He found himself unable to meet her gaze, merely watching the little boy as he became occupied with some flowering plants at the base of the rock he sat on. Chancing a glance, he peered up at her through a veil of hair, watching the way she moved. She was a knock out, no doubt about it. But the woman he remembered in his dream had also been a helluva sight in her youth. Yet, the one who stood before him was so vastly different. The way she carried herself, the energy that seemed to pour from her. Even her scent was different, something soft and sweet. She was looking at him now, probably trying to gauge his expression. “How're you feelin'?” she asked finally, claiming the rock Murdoc had been sitting on.

“Better, I reckon,” Alec said softly, his gaze now on the little boy who had picked the flower and was holding it up. “I was a twat. I'm sorry...”

“You're forgiven,” she said, pulling Ben into her lap. “I imagine you had a lot t' take in.”

Alec leaned forward, smiling at Ben. “I freaked out over a dream an' treated ever'one like shit, Nina. I had no excuse.” His smile broadened when Ben looked up at him, smiling back. Dark brown hair, brown eyes, the smile almost mirroring Murdoc’s. “He's handsome,” he chuckled, pulling the boy over and resting him onto his knee.

“Your Dad spoils him,” she laughed, smoothing some of her hair from her face. “That crooked old man is nothin' but a marshmallow when it comes t' this boy.”

Alec examined her face, taking in all the details. Much like Tessie, he could see all the little things that were different. The way the freckles looked on her face, the shade of blue in her eyes, the way the corner of her mouth twitched with her smile. Dropping his gaze to his hands, he exhaled slowly. “I feel rather stupid at the moment.”

“Good,” she said curtly, but still smiling. “I know it was a lot t’ take in, but you were treatin' all of us like rubbish because of a stupid dream. I hope you feel like your two inches tall, Alec Niccals.”

“I did a stupid thin',” he muttered, peering up at her. “Tess came t' visit me at the hospital....an' I....”

“I a'ready know, Alec,” Nina said, smiling. “Tess told me the day it happened. She was a little stunned, love. Not somethin' she expected from you, but she wasn’t mad ‘bout it. Kinda understood. Tucker – on the other hand – was in a right state over it....”

“He’ll get over it,” he chuckled, letting Ben grab his hands and swing them around. “I was still sortin’ m’ own head out. Had t’ know what was real an’ what wasn’t. I acted b’fore I could think.”

“It is what it is, I s’pose.” She sighed, dropping her hands between her knees. “Tucker will probably expect an apology from you, though. He was pretty upset ‘bout it.”

Alec let out a nervous laugh, allowing Ben to slide from his knee and play on the ground between them. Tucker would just need to get over it. He still felt a bit out of place with Nina, but was willing to try to start from square one. He had no choice but to watch Tessie from afar. Be happy she was still willing to be his friend. He was learning new things every day now, it seemed. If the Tucker on this plane of existence was anything like the Tucker from his dream reality, he’d shape up and get over this without a hitch. Just the kind of bloke he was. At least, Alec hoped that was the case. He wasn’t sure he was willing to deal with one mate hating him for a desperate and impulsive act while the other was willing to forgive and things always being awkward between them. And then there was this whole weird thing with Nina. It still felt foreign to him. Still felt wrong. But all he could do was try to move forward and hope things would come back to him over time. “Willin’ t’ give me ‘nother chance?” he asked finally.

“I'm willin' t' start from scratch, if that's what it takes,” she said, reaching out and clutching at his hand.

Alec gripped her hand, watching as Ben scratched stick figures in the dirt. He felt so different. Everyone sensed it, though. No longer the crippled young man who simply rolled with the punches of life. More stubborn, more determined to prove himself. Was this what she wanted? He didn’t feel like the same man anymore. Was this a good thing? What if she wanted back the old him? “It’ll be like gettin’ t’ know me all over ‘gain, yeah?” He erupted into a good natured chuckle, squeezing her hand. “I know it’s been a weird adjustment, Nina, but I’d really like t’ know you’re okay with all of this.”

“You snogged 'nother bird, Alec, an' I'm willin' t' turn a blind eye,” she chuckled. “I think we're good.”


	18. Cracks

Sipping her coffee, Hailey blearily stared at the clutter of dishes scattered across the table. Two of the plates still had the remnants of that morning's breakfast clinging them, the two plates' owners now gone from the kitchen. From the lounge, she could hear Amy chatting away on her phone, half absorbed with some odd foreign movie that flickered across the telly. Erupting into a massive yawn, Hailey grabbed a cigarette from the abandoned pack on the table, lighting one. She was exhausted, both mentally and physically. The months had taken a toll on her, she couldn’t deny it. Oblivious to his gran’s internal struggles, Ben pawed at his breakfast happily, chewing on a strip of bacon and smiling at Hailey from his spot at the table. Murdoc stood at the sink, emptying his lukewarm mug of coffee, grumbling under his breath. He cast a glance over his shoulder at her, the two of them exchanging looks when the voices from the basement carried just loud enough to be heard on the main level of the house. She rose from the table and made her way through the lounge and to the back patio. No point hot boxing the main level with Ben sitting right there trying to eat.

Both Nina and Alec had been arguing all morning. Tensions thick when they’d emerged from the basement apartment to join them for breakfast. They rarely brought it upstairs, but this time around must have been the straw that broke the camel’s back because they were snippy with each other and ruining what should have been a nice family breakfast together. Murdoc had finally told them both to take it downstairs if they couldn’t even keep their traps shut long enough to eat as a family. It seemed that all they did was argue as of late. Neither Hailey or Murdoc were sure who was starting what, but it generally always led the two of them cold and silent to each other whenever they were on the main level of the house and then listening to them bicker through the day and evening downstairs. In the six months since Alec had come home, Hailey was certain he and Nina had spent over half of that time arguing with each other. She tried to stay out of it. Murdoc tried to stay out of it. Amy tried to stay out of it. The only one who didn’t seem to notice was little Ben.

Hailey could only speculate, but she wondered if some of their arguments had root in Alec's change of personality. This wasn't the easy going and mellow young man that Nina remembered. It was almost as if some switch had been flipped in his head. He had become brash, rude even. It was hard to admit it, but a lot of his demeanor and mouth reminded her of Murdoc. And this was _not_ normal, not for Alec. The passive, easy going kid they’d known had died in that coma, the person waking up not the Alec they remembered. The other thing that had taken a great amount of adjustment to was the fact that he no longer used his cane, pushing himself to his limits in his efforts to gain control over his traitorous body. Weeks and months of him falling or being unable to do something as simple as eat his food and then having him fired up and upset, barking at her when she only wanted to help. He continued pushing himself. Continued whatever road to recovery he was hell bent on walking. And they were seeing results. Real results. He could walk with only a slight shift in his gait and even the tremor in his hands seemed to be fading away. Seeing him fight and struggle so hard to overcome the body he’d once accepted put both her and Murdoc in a difficult position. Nina wanted back the man she loved, the Alec that had accepted his failing body, the Alec who wouldn't dream of getting sucked into a confrontation. Murdoc and Hailey were caught between wanting back the son they once knew but also finding secret joy at his determination to get past his limitations.

The sounds of the doors opening behind her alerted her to another presence. She turned to see Murdoc stepping out, cigarette in hand. Though irritation was plain on his heavily lined face, he cracked a rather sloppy smile when he realized she was looking at him. “Amy's gonna take Ben t' town for a spell,” he said, shaking his head. “We can overhear them downstairs.”

“Any ideas on what they're arguing about now?” she asked softly, dropping down into one of the patio chairs. “Or is that a dumb question?” Of course it was a dumb question. What else could they be arguing about? It’s what they’d been arguing about for months.

Murdoc merely shrugged, sinking down into one of the patio chairs. “Same shit, different day.....”

“Seems to always spark after he says something that rubs her wrong,” Hailey sighed.

“They're both bein' stupid, love, an' you know it,” he grumbled, easing his frame back into the cushions and crossing a leg over the other. “While I definitely 'gree with Nina 'bout his attitude an' mouth at times, I think she's bein' unfair in her desire t' have back the way he once was. Last thin' I overheard was her tellin' him she liked it better when he didn’t fight or talk back.” He let out a heavy sigh, staring at the smoldering cherry of his cigarette. “I'm sure it was a heat of the moment type thin', but it was uncalled for.”

“You'd think she'd be happy that he was trying so hard,” she murmured, frowning as she scanned over the basement windows. “I mean, look at him now. He’s walking without needing his cane. He’s able to manage his hands. One small seizure since waking up.” She glanced over at Murdoc, who was staring back at her. She wasn’t sure why she was bringing up what he already knew. He’d seen it all, same as her. But it felt weird saying it aloud. Recognizing how different Alec had become. How much older he seemed. She could even see it in Alec’s eyes. “It’s an adjustment for all of us, I guess.”

“His disabilities were what made him the man he was then,” Murdoc said in a matter of fact tone. “The coma changed him an’ that’s the root of it all. He’s become a completely different person an’ I dun’ think Nina can handle that.”

“I’m getting that vibe too.” She stubbed her cigarette out, dropping it into the ashtray on the table between them. At least they couldn’t hear the bickering outside. It was actually peaceful out there. She could hear the creek in the distance. Birds chirping and squawking in the trees. Ben giggling at something in the house. Her momentary peace was shattered when she heard a door slam from within the house followed closely by Alec’s voice. Demands he be left alone and if Nina didn’t like it, she could fucking leave. Hailey’s brow furrowed, her eyes darting to Murdoc, who was staring at the house. She sighed, shaking her head. “You think they will break up? That’s not the first time he’s told her to leave if she doesn’t like it.”

“Dunno,” Murdoc said, shrugging his narrow shoulders. “Can’t really blame either of them if it happens. All we can do is be there if they need us.” His face cracked into a sloppy smile, his cigarette lingering just inches from his mouth. “Not gonna lie, Poppet, but I kinda like this new him. Not so bloody uptight. Doesn’t take my shit. Grew a fuckin’ backbone, finally.”

“Of course that’s great,” she said with a nod. "But everything else feels like we’re walking on eggshells in our own house right now. Things get anymore heated, we might end up having to hide in our bedroom until one of them leaves.”

“Fuck that,” he said through a snorting laugh. “I’ll send both of them packin’ before it reaches that point, Hailey.” Sighing, he turned his attention to the treeline, chewing his lower lip as he took the occasional drag from his cigarette. The smile on his face faltered at the corners, his dark eyes now on the cigarette burning between his fingers. “Actually...maybe it’s time for them t’ spread their wings or whatever the fuck you wanna call it. I mean, Christ, they’re almost thirty now, yeah?”

“The house _is_ crowded, Murdoc,” she murmured, rising up from the patio chair. “Five adults and a little kid wandering around a three bedroom home. It really isn’t big enough for that many bodies living in it, even with a small apartment underneath it.” She suddenly burst out a barking laugh, shaking her head. “Remember when it was just me, you and Alec and we thought the house was too big for us?”

He chuckled, nodding his head as he smashed out the cigarette against the bottom of his slipper. “I do, as a matter of fact. That was ‘round the time we found out...” His words trailed, meeting her eyes briefly before he dropped them to the ground. “Err...found out that expandin’ on the Niccals brood would be a bit more problematic than we thought.” An uncomfortable silence passed before he finally cleared his throat and smiled at her. “Now look what’s happenin’! We’re over-run with ‘em! An’ some of ‘em aren’t even ours!”

She smiled in return, laughing quietly as she toyed with an unlit cigarette. Some debate over whether she wanted another one. Maybe ask Murdoc about his green stash. Go hide with him in the study and toke up. Especially since the chaos of the morning appeared to be spreading. From inside the house came more noises. Nina had apparently joined upstairs and now all that could be heard was her and Alec yelling at one another. Hailey sighed, shaking her head. This was getting to be too much now. Way too much. They were too old to have to deal with this. They should be enjoying their golden years or whatever the hell you wanted to call it, not listening to their grown son and his partner have a Battle Royale in their lounge. “Alec and Nina both lived on their own before. Alec’s had six months to get his bearings since being discharged from the hospital. I think it’s time to nudge the birds from the nest again.”

“You fought ‘gainst Alec gettin’ his own place last time,” Murdoc cackled, grinning at her. “Now you wanna kick ‘em all out?” He shrugged, rising up from the chair. The voices in the house rose in volume, carrying out to the back patio. Shaking his head, his smile collapsed. “Amy too. It’s time for her an’way.”

“Amy too,” Hailey giggled, trailing behind him as he sauntered back into the house. “And for the record, I had damned good reason to be against him moving out then. It’s different now.”

“Of course.” He paused in the lounge, staring at Ben, who was planted on the sofa with a bag of crisps and clicking through the different channels. The arguing had migrated to the upper level of the house, probably Alec’s room. Murdoc shook his head and ambled over to the sofa, dropping down beside Ben and snatching the bag of crisps. “Gonna make yourself sick, boy,” he huffed. “Didn’t you just have breakfast?”

Ben shrugged, pointing above them. “Mumma an’ Da won’t stop yellin’ at each other. Crunchin’ drowns them out.” Murdoc appeared to take this in before sighing and passing the bag back to the boy. Ben happily started crunching away, his attention fixed on the flat screen. He’d settled on some animated feature, some updated saga with talking animals. Films that were a dime a dozen nowadays.

Hailey returned to the kitchen and went about the task of clearing the remaining plates and maybe loading up the dishwasher. If they decided to finally kick all the kids out, it would mean no more waking up to Ben sitting on the sofa, munching on whatever. No more having him around. She’d gotten so used to having Ben at the house that the idea of him no longer being there didn’t feel right. What if Nina got mad and decided not to let him visit them? Alec would surely make sure they got to see him, but it probably wouldn’t be often. She wasn’t sure she was ready to lose access to her grandson. Yeah, having the house to themselves sounded absolutely fucking great, but the cost of this was losing out on watching Ben grow up. He’d lived in the basement apartment his whole life. His entire existence included them.

The sound of a door slamming made her perk her ears, listening intently as Alec’s familiar step traveled from above and eventually reached the stairs. Grumbling and mumbling under his breath when he emerged in the kitchen, seemingly startled that Hailey was standing there. “Hey, Mum.” He tried to sound nonchalant, but the tone was forced, almost strained. She could see him turning towards the icebox, rummaging around until he surfaced with a bottle of beer from Murdoc’s stash in the back. “Sorry ‘bout all the arguin’. Tried t’ remove myself t’ my old room but that fuckin’ woman won’t leave it ‘lone.”

Hailey shrugged, peering over her shoulder at him. “Quit letting her antagonize you. You both do it to each other. That’s all I’m gonna say on the matter.”

****************************

“So.....why are we here 'gain?” Alec asked gruffly as he followed behind Murdoc across the car park. The building they were approaching flashed the usual neon signs proclaiming the best drinks in the city. Murdoc knew Alec wasn’t a big drinker but he wanted a place where he and the boy could sit and have a face to face talk about shit. He knew the boy was still agitated from the morning’s arguments with Nina, arguments that had carried through most of the bloody day and had driven both he and Hailey mad. They actually had locked themselves in his study so they could toke up and try to ignore shit. At least it had given them a few hours reprieve from the chaos. Spending several hours watching videos, laughing and whatever other pleasant distractions they could think of.

“You an' I are gonna have a long talk,” Murdoc said over his shoulder, pushing through the doors and leading Alec inside the hazy pub. “Just you an' me, mate. Too much estrogen at home.”

“Talk 'bout what exactly?” Alec was no fool. Probably expected something. Murdoc could feel the man’s stare on the back of his head as they cut through the tables and lingering bodies inside to reach a secluded booth in the far back of the pub. When they both sat themselves down, Alec looked around briefly before speaking. “Right...what do you wanna talk ‘bout then?”

Murdoc merely stared at the young man, nothing in his expression giving away the irritation he’d been feeling for months or the fact that he actually wasn’t sure how to start. He scanned over Alec's face, chewing at his lip. Alec was looking him over carefully, trying to gauge his mood. Almost unsettling with the useless left eye sitting in stasis, the right eye being the only one moving. With the young man's improving physical health, it sometimes escaped Murdoc's memory that he'd lost the vision out of that eye a couple of years before the coma. Legally blind in that eye, though Alec said he could see shadows and color flickers. When Alec cleared his throat, Murdoc blinked, his focus back on the boy’s questioning expression. “I'll just cut t' the chase, boy.....we're sick of hearin' you two arguin' all the fuckin' time. It's wearin' on your Mum, on me....”

Alec opened his mouth, no sound coming out. He closed it, tearing his gaze from Murdoc's, dropping his attention to the table. No doubt he anticipated this for some time, especially once the arguing had trickled into the main levels of the house. He continued to scan over the greasy table top between them before smiling sheepishly and shrugging his shoulders. “Err.....I'm sorry?” His eyes surfaced from the table, meeting Murdoc’s own uncomfortable gaze. “Reckon thins' aren't goin' well. She wants the old me, Dad. An' I can't give that back t' her. I dun' remember him. Dun' remember much of an'thin' before....you know.”

“What do you rememeber, an'ways?” Murdoc asked, lighting a cigarette and throwing an unlit one across the table towards Alec. “An'thin' stand out?” There’d been hope that being in his childhood home would jog his memory, but as days and weeks had turned into months with little indication that he could remember, they’d started to give up hope. The closest they could compare it to was that the seizures and coma had reset his brain, unable to remember the life prior and unable to trust what he did remember because the dream state he’d been in had completely taken over his memory banks.

Alec pushed a hand through his dark hair. “Bits an’ pieces come through.” He cracked a toothy grin, chuckling. “I remember a dinner with Nina’s parents. An’ while I dun’ remember the details, part of me seems t’ know that the dinner didn’t go as well as we’d hoped.”

Murdoc grinned broadly, relief flooding in as he erupted into a husky laugh. “You’re correct in that assumption.” He continued to stare at Alec, feeling elated that something had come through, even if small. It meant that maybe being at the house and surrounded by all of them did help in some way. “Her father’s a prick. Showed his arse real quick. I just put the nob in his place.”

Alec started laughing, lighting his cigarette. “That's one of the few thins' that come through clearly. There's other thins', but they're foggy. Just 'nough for me t' not know what they mean or what they're 'bout.”

“Eugh....It's been six months or so, yeah? I think you've come a helluva long way, t' be honest. At least you're rememberin' _somethin'_.” Murdoc pushed himself to his feet, pointing a bony finger towards the bar up front. “Drink?” Alec nodded, flashing another smile. This was good to see. Murdoc cracked another smile as he turned towards the bar to retrieve a couple of drinks. So Alec was remembering things. This was good. This was very good. He could still remember when Alec had first returned home and Hailey showing him all the photos taken through the years, hoping something to jog his memory. Photos of him as a tot. Photos of him with his sister. Random snapshots he and Hailey had taken of their life with the kids, hoping like hell that something in that stack would trigger something. Anything. Scared that his dream reality had completely rewired his memory and they’d never be able to break through it. They even had snaps of the boy with Tessie and seeing the flickers of pain across his face, longing for the phantom he’d come to love and unable to grasp the flesh and blood counterpart that smiled in the photo with a somewhat amused teenage Alec sitting beside her.

The bartender already had a couple of drinks on the counter for him. He came in often enough that the barkeep knew his drink of choice and had it ready for him. He usually came in to chat it up with some of the giffers who lived nearby. He caught sight of a few of them at the bar counter, glancing at him. He’d warned them ahead of time that he needed some privacy to talk with his son and would resume their normal drinking shenanigans when he came back in a few days. He needed tonight to talk with Alec. Grabbing his drinks, he returned to the table they’d claimed, setting on of them directly in front of Alec, who was eyeing it how with suspicion. Reaching out a trembling hand, Alec grabbed the glass and took a massive drink from it, half gasping and half choking against the liquor as he slammed the glass down. “Christ, how much did you put in this thin’?”

“Just had them make it like normal,” Murdoc laughed. “Weaklin'....” Easing his body into the cushions of the bench seat, he sipped his drink casually, eyes directly on Alec. “I overheard what Nina said t' you earlier t'day, Alec. I want t' believe that she blurted it out in the heat of the moment.....but considerin' all the arguin' an' what it's been 'bout, I have my doubts.”

Alec’s expression darkened as he swirled the drink in his glass. “I really dun’ wanna talk ‘bout that, Dad.” He continued to stare at the drink, swirling the liquor around in what Murdoc assumed was an effort to mix it up a bit more. Setting the glass down, Alec uttered a groan and scrubbed his hands across his face. “I've seen the videos an’ pictures Mum acquired through the years....I dun’ get it, Dad. Look what I was like. How can an'one want _that_ back?”

Murdoc shrugged, a dull noise coming from him. “Well.....it wasn't exactly a cake-walk gettin' used t' this new you, boy. Ever'thin' 'bout you is different now. I s'pose Nina was used t' the way you used t' be, just as we were. Mellow, laid back, easy goin'....acceptin' your limitations an' whatnot....”

“Doesn't seem right,” Alec muttered with a shake of his head. “Doesn't feel _me_.”

“If it's any consolation, Alec, your Mum an' I have been overjoyed at seein' all you've accomplished since wakin' up.” Murdoc smiled at him, getting only a small half smile in return. “Satan’s honest truth, lad. You must be doin' somethin' right because you’ve had one small seizure since wakin’ up, an' those were pretty frequent.” He gestured towards his legs. “When was the last time you used your cane? Two, three months ‘go? You’re hands dun’ tremble as much as they did. You’ve managed t’ regain almost complete control, Alec.”

“So why does Nina want back somethin’ so fuckin’ weak?” he asked, his voice trembling with rising emotion. “Why constantly remind me of what I was? Why insist I act like someone I dun' remember? Why can't she fuckin' accept the fact that it's never goin' t' be that way ever 'gain?”

Murdoc frowned at Alec's almost desperate tone. He was trying so hard to adjust to this life, a life he couldn't remember outside of a few flickering memories, trying so hard to get through the hurdles of disabilities that were now completely foreign to him. He had a point. A great point. Why want back what he was and not accept what he'd become? Why insist that things be as they were when it was so painfully clear she would never get back the person he’d been? “Women are weird like that,” he said, almost dismissively as he stared at his own drink. “They change like one changes clothes an’ expect us t’ remain the same...”

“She's talkin' 'bout movin' out,” Alec admitted, emptying his glass. “T' be honest, Dad, I dun' care what she does an'more.” A defeated sigh escaped from him as he slumped forward and rested his head into his arms on the table. He rolled his head on his arms, his good eye peering up at Murdoc. “Kinda feel like a failure, t’ be honest, Dad...”

“Straight forward question, Alec,” Murdoc said, grabbing their empty glasses and pushing them towards the end of the table. “Do you love her? Since wakin' up, have you felt an'thin' for her at all?”

Alec stared up at Murdoc as the older man slid out of the booth, now standing beside the table. With a groan, he scrubbed his hands across his face, leaning back into the bench seat. “No......I've tried, though. I just can't. I feel nothin' for her. I mean, I care 'bout her t' an extent, but not at the level she claims we had.” He let out a growl, glaring down at the table. “I need t' get fuckin' laid, I swear.”

Murdoc laughed without meaning to, shaking his head as he gestured in the air to get the attention of one of the wait staff. He knew it was cruel to laugh but couldn’t help it. It was such a random remark and definitely not something the old Alec would say aloud. Just another facet in the boy’s change in personality. More open now about all the things he’d once recoiled from. Christ, Murdoc could remember when any talk about sex sent the boy reeling in disgust, barking at them to stop. Couldn’t deny that hearing him talk so openly about it now was still a bit off-putting. “Sorry.....sorry.....Shouldn't be laughin'.”

“Not _once_ since I got home,” Alec spat, grabbing the fresh drink as the waitress put it before him. “I know my fuckin' hand better than I know her!” He flashed a dark look across the table, sneering at the smirk on Murdoc’s face. “All because it _dun' feel right_ , she says.” His sour look melted, his expression sad as he twirled his finger in the moisture ring left by his glass. “I mean, I didn’t expect it when I first got home b’cause I was an arsehole an’ nobody wanted t’ be ‘round me then...but after a few months, I’d hoped that maybe she’d be open t’ it. Shit, Dad, you'd think she'd be happy t' get somethin' other than a vibe or her hand after five fuckin' years!” Grumbling, he took a drink from his fresh glass. “Reckon, I shouldn’t complain. At least I can wank off without hurtin’ m’self. Found a stash of Victoria’s Secret model clippin’ under m’ bed. It helped...”

“Like I said, boy, women are weird ‘bout shit like that,” Murdoc said almost dismissively, waving his hand for emphasis. “I wouldn't know from experience, your Mum's indiscriminate. I could have multiple personalities an' she'd shag ever'single one!”

Alec narrowed his eyes, the smirk now just twitching on his mouth. “Christ, Dad, I'm bein' serious!” he laughed. “An' I dun' wanna hear 'bout you an’ Mum. Makes my skin crawl thinkin' 'bout it at your ages.”

“Oi, we're not that old, you lil' tosser!” Murdoc barked, half laughing. “We're experienced!”

“Well so was I!” Alec shot back. “At least I thought I was.....”

Murdoc cocked his head, staring hard at the young man across from him. “Hate t’ be the bearer of bad news, m' boy, but you were a bleedin' virgin when you got together with Nina. She was your first an' only.”

“I’m ‘ware of that,” Alec huffed, draining the rest of his glass. “Dun’ seem right, though. I know what I remember isn’t real, but I remember bein’ a bit like you when it came t’ women.” He laughed bitterly, shaking his head. “I know it didn’t really happen that way, but I mean...I remember fuckin’ these women, Dad. I remember fuckin’ _a lot_ of women.”

“Well, as you know, it didn’t happen that way.” Murdoc laughed, taking another drink from his glass. “Probably subconscious wishin’ you were my equal.” He cackled loudly, almost gasping for air. A few of the other pub patrons were now looking over at them. The more Alec shared about the dream reality he’d lived, the more Murdoc could understand why he clung to it all so desperately. Alec’s life in the dream had been a complete polar opposite from the life he’d truly lived. Not hindered by his disabilities, liked and sought after by women and essentially seeing himself as a true Niccals spawn to the bone. Finding out that he’d been a weak and ridiculed virgin had probably shaken the young man to his core.

“I just dun’ feel any connection with Nina,” Alec said with a defeated shrug. “At least not what she seems t’ think I should be feelin’. We can’t keep havin’ rows in front of Ben. It’s not good for him.” Alec frowned, his eyes distant. “I think I remember seein’ you an’ Mum fight when I was ‘bout his age. Dun’ recall all the details, but I remember bein’ scared ‘bout it.” He was silent for a long moment, staring at the drink in his hand, his brow twitching. Though he’d insisted he could remember very little, Murdoc felt a tremor ripple up his spine as he took in Alec’s conflicted expression. Torn between being elated that Alec remembered something from his childhood, but horrified that it had to be remembering his parents at their absolute worst. He’d been no more than five or six at the time and though they’d managed to keep him in the dark through most of the arguing and fighting, he’d witnessed a few moments where it had leaked out into the open. For all the hope that he’d remember something, all Murdoc could do was hope he couldn’t remember what he’d witnessed. Alec’s eyes refocused, surfacing from his drink. “All this bloody fightin’...it’s exhaustin’. Maybe time ‘part is what we need. Go our separate ways.”

“Well, it will bring some peace an' quiet t' the house,” Murdoc muttered absently, downing the drink and gesturing for another. “You lot do what you have t' do, I reckon. Just keep me an' your Mum out of it.”

Alec nodded his head slowly, his eyes on the wait staff as they dropped two fresh drinks in front of them. “I'll talk with her when we get back home. She’ll probably freak out or somethin’...”

“Speakin' of home...” Murdoc swirled his finger in his fresh glass before taking a drink. “That's 'nother thin' your Mum an' I have been talkin' 'bout. Not sure how t’ say it but thins’ are gettin’ just a bit too cramped with all of us in the house.” He took another drink, savoring the burn and the dull feeling his body and head felt. Alec must have been feeling it too because his face was flushed and he merely stared at him with watery eyes. Sighing, he folded his hands on the table. “Both you an’ Nina had your own places before all this, Alec. I think you're more than capable of livin' outa the home now. Amy, too.”

Alec sipped at his drink, allowing Murdoc's words to sink in. His gaze dropped to the drink in front of him, chewing his lower lip the same way Murdoc did when he was thinking. It was actually a bit stunning to see so much of him reflected back in those moments. The way he held his drink, the way his face twitched when he wasn’t sure what to say, the way he chewed his lip. He didn’t respond right away and Murdoc felt a spike of panic that maybe it was too much for Alec and he’d burst into tears or some other emotional rubbish. But he didn’t burst into tears. He merely blinked, blearily staring up at Murdoc. “Kinda expected that. I know all the fightin’ has been drivin’ you an’ Mum a bit mental.”

Murdoc finished his drink, savoring the silence that stretched between them. At least Alec didn’t freak out on him or anything. With all the weird changes to the lad’s personality, he hadn’t been sure what to expect when he finally laid it out for Alec. Of course, freaking out would have been Amy's reaction. Alec, even now, had always been the more reasonable of the two kids. Like oil and water, they were. Much like how the boy and Murdoc had been. As for Nina, well, she'd figure things out. It pained him a little to know he wouldn't see Ben as often as he once did, but the mere idea of having the whole house to themselves for the first time in decades just seemed too good to be fucking true! He could start strutting around the house starkers! Hailey could too! All the things they could do without the worry of some random person walking in on them or interrupting them. It would be fucking glorious! Matter of fact, first thing on the _alone at home at last_ agenda would be to see if the kitchen table could hold their combined weight. Might be a bit awkward, but they could have a good laugh about it.

They said little to one another as they went through drink after drink. Alec was definitely the lightweight of the two, his coordination suffering, some mumbled and slurred complaints of seeing double. He’d probably had more than he should have and once Murdoc realized he’d lost count of how many they’d had, he requested Alec’s drinks be replaced with soft drinks. He couldn’t recall ever seeing Alec get drunk and it occurred to him that the alcohol might interfere with the medication he took for his seizures. And what if it triggered one? Hailey would have Murdoc’s arse for sure if she found out he was the reason the boy got wasted and had a full grand mal or whatever. When a soft drink arrived in front of him, Alec slammed it back with a single swift motion, giggling to himself. Murdoc know he was feeling it too, but he was a fucking pro at this. Could still handle himself just fine. Laughed a bit too much, perhaps, but he was nowhere near the level Alec had reached.

After he’d managed to get a few soft drinks into Alec, he suggested they head home. Alec slowly got to his feet, swaying where he stood before dropping back down into the booth and shaking his head. Murdoc huffed in annoyance, hauling the young man from the booth and through the pub, shoving him through the doors and into the dark. Alec stumbled along, still giggling as he tried to follow Murdoc across the car park towards where Murdoc had parked the sedan. “You 'kay t' drive?” Alec asked, slumping down into the passenger seat.

“Better than you,” Murdoc said, turning over the engine. The car roared to life, headlights now slicing through the darkened street as he pulled out of the car park. He felt a little dull from the drink, but it was clear Alec was absolutely fucking wasted. He had a feeling he'd be helping the lad climb the stairs to his room to sleep it off. This was a good outing, something the both of them desperately needed. Could be something they could do occasionally in the future once Alec got himself a bit more situated. He knew Amy would love a nice little outing with the drinking king himself, but things had been strained between the two of them for several years now. He wasn’t interested in being put in an awkward and vulnerable position and that was putting it mildly. He allowed his thoughts to wander as Alec snored and drooled in the passenger seat. Enjoying the landscape of the city after dark. Thinking back to his own youth and how much he’d loved running amok and terrorizing his old home-town town. He even recognized a few shops he’d nicked from when he’d relocated from Stoke and a few places where the local police had nicked him. He’d usually been wasted, but it had all still been a good laugh for him, never mind getting banged up for a spell here or there. Sighing, he cracked a smile, continuing the drive through the city and thankful that his jaunt through memory lane was mostly kind. It wasn’t long before the city disappeared behind them, signs of urban living trickling away in the car’s wake.

Veering down a narrow country road, the houses became more sparsely situation, rowhomes vanishing entirely, replaced with a few pastures, some farm cottages and even some large expanses of meadows. A familiar street light here and sign there. He looked for the three trees that stood in the front yard, trees that obscured the view of the house from the road. They’d almost missed the house when they’d first looked for it. The trees had hidden it that well. He laughed aloud at the random fleeting memory, downshifting the convertible and letting it cruise towards the gravel drive. He allowed the car to coast silently up to the detached garage, finally shutting it down. A few nudges at Alec got a mumbled _fuck off_ , but after a few more hard shoves, Alec finally opened his eyes and looked around in confusion. “We’re home, boy,” Murdoc said gruffly, getting out and circling around the car. Alec chuckled, eyes still mostly closed as Murdoc pulled him out of the car. “C’mon, boy, use your fuckin’ legs. I’m too old t’ fuckin’ carry you!” They both stumbled from the car, half laughing as they made their way to the front door. From the window, a single lamp was lit. Murdoc opened the door, lurking into the foyer, peering around the quiet and abandoned house. A single lamp in the living room area and the light above the stove were the only lights on downstairs. Later than he realized. Everyone had gone to bed.

It took almost every ounce of energy he had left, but Murdoc managed to drag the giggly, clumsy and half asleep Alec up the stairs, shoving him towards his bedroom. He lingered long enough to watch Alec collapse down onto the mattress unceremoniously. Slipping from the room, he made his own clumsy trek towards the master bedroom, pausing with a start when he realized the lamp was on and Hailey was sitting up in bed, a book on her lap. “Didn't know you were 'wake,” he whispered, shutting the door behind him. “Sorry if we woke you.”

“You're fine,” she said, setting the book aside. “Wasn't able to sleep. So how'd it go?”

Murdoc shrugged, unbuckling his belt and then fumbling with his jeans. Dropping down to the side of the bed, he shoved the jeans away and kicking them to the floor. “He handled it better than I anticipated,” he said in a low voice as he pulled his shirt over his head and cast it aside. “As for what’s happening with him an’ Nina, I reckon a break is inevitable.”

“Amy freaked out,” Hailey muttered, pulling her glasses from her face and rubbing the bridge of her nose. “Said we were the worst parents ever. Said we were throwing her to the wolves.” She erupted into a soft laugh, grabbing her cigarettes. “Nina understood. But she said she's been considering it for a while now.”

“So we were right, yeah?” He crawled across the bed, dropping with a huff into the pillows. “The two mature ones handled it like champs an' the problem child handled it like a toddler.”

“Where's Alec?”

Murdoc peered up at her from the pillow. “Bed, snorin' 'way....why?”

Hailey chewed her lip, frowning. “Nina found a place right away. She’s going to take a look at it tomorrow. Will probably be moving out before the month is out. I don’t think Alec is going to be part of that equation.”

“Poppet, we both saw this comin’ a mile ‘way.” He erupted into a massive yawn, stretching the length of the bed in his efforts to get comfortable. “A break may do them both some good. A lot has happened for them an’ separatin’ now before they get really bitter with each other is probably for the best.” He could still feel Hailey’s stare on his back. Probably worried about some of the same things he was. Worries that their access to Ben would be greatly limited or even eradicated. They’d heard about it often enough from mates at the pub and even those trashy shows they sometimes watched late at night. Grandparents lamenting to a public about cold and uncaring adult children used their grandbabies as pawns. Murdoc didn’t think it would reach that point. Nina had her moments, but they’d always had a decent relationship with her, even with the tension building between her and Alec. Partly because Hailey insisted they remain Switzerland in the face of all the bullshit. He was perfectly okay with this. Also kept the drama to a minimum. “Seriously, Hailey,” he said through a massive yawn, “ever’thin’ will be just fine. The kids will move out an’ we’ll get the whole bloody house t’ ourselves. Walk ‘round naked if we fuckin’ want t’.”


	19. Tricks and Treats

He glared at his reflection in the full length mirror, slowly turning so he was standing in profile, his eyes eyes on the bearded face before traveling south to the paunch that seemed to hang just a bit further than he recalled. He was naked, having just stepped from the shower and all it had taken was a simple glance in the mirror. Just a peek. Hadn’t even really been thinking. And there it was in all its glory, hanging over just enough to catch his attention. He stared down at his stomach, slowly sucking it in. It wasn't enormous, thank Satan for small miracles, but enough to make him take notice. Even the small handles of fat that often formed just above your hips now seemed obvious, as if they'd appeared overnight. Murdoc huffed, grabbing a towel and stepping out of the bathroom. He knew he'd gained a bit of weight over the years, but had succeeded in hiding it well. Easy enough to refuse to acknowledge it. At least until he'd gone to the doctor for a regular check up and the doctor gave him grief about the fact that he'd packed on almost a solid two stone. Talk of cholesterol, high blood pressure and all the other ails that plagued men his age. This had made his eye twitch. _Men his age_. He knew he wasn’t a young buck anymore. Nobody had to remind him of this. Why did the doc’s remark made him feel so fucking old? This was just all just too much. He had fucking love handles. Murdoc Niccals did not get love handles. He could look down his stomach and still see his dick. Loads of men his age couldn’t even do that! Christ, there it is again. _Men his age_. He dressed in silence, scowling when he had to put some oomph into buttoning his jeans. How was it that it all seemed to settle in the one area of his body that he had no problem exercising regularly? Fucking hell, he should have no fat whatsoever in his hips or stomach!

Once downstairs, he grabbed a mug of coffee, watching as Hailey worked on the kids' breakfast plates. Waffles with strawberries. He eyed the sweet breakfast foods with a grin, looking around for the third plate that would be his own and seeing a bare spot where his plate should have been. “Oi, where's mine?” he asked. Sure, they were just toaster waffles, but waffles were fucking waffles, right? And look at all the good things she was putting on them! She'd decorated them carefully with some whipped cream, strawberries and that flavored syrup he actually liked. She’d gone all out on stacking them up and yet all he could see were the two plates she’d obviously made for the kids and no sign of his plate to be seen. He continued to search around the kitchen, peering around her and the countertops, even pulling open the oven. “Seriously...where’s mine?”

Hailey flashed him a smile, the sympathy seen a mile away. “Sorry, love, I know you're going to hate this.” She produced a bowl of plain oatmeal, the only thing that looked even remotely appetizing being the three fucking blueberries she'd topped it with.

“What the fuck is this?” he asked, refusing to take the bowl from her. “You're joshin', yeah? You have m' waffles hidden somewhere, yeah?” He stared at the unpleasant looking breakfast as she set it on the table. Three pieces of fruit. No whipped cream. No strawberries. Nothing remotely appetizing on it. Just a bowl of fucking gruel.

“Doctor's orders,” she said with a shrug, turning her attention back to the two plates of syrupy and whipped cream goodness that the two heathens were going to get. “He was concerned with how much weight you'd gained, Murdoc. And it's become pretty obvious now. I've seen how your jeans are fitting.”

“So fuckin’ what!” he barked, seating himself at the table. “You dun’ seem t’ have any fuckin’ problem with how my body looks! An' do we wanna get in t' the whole discussion of weight gain? You have a few more dimples on your arse than I recall.”

“Birthing your children is what did it to me, you asshole,” she whispered, her gaze almost acidic. “What's your excuse again?”

“Your bloody cookin',” he snapped, glaring at her. He took a bite from the bland and grey bowl, the texture making him recoil. Grimacing, he let out an exaggerated gag and spit the oatmeal back into the bowl. “This is bullocks, you know that right? Christ, Hailey, at least gimme some fuckin’ cream or sugar t’ put into it.”

“Adding cream or sugar defeats the purpose,” she said with her back still to him. “Sorry it’s not what you want, but Doc says it’s necessary.”

“An' supper?” he queried, dreading the response. Probably some other atrocious concoction under the guise of healthy.

“Steamed vegetables with skinless baked chicken and a small salad. Kids get fried drumsticks with biscuits, mash and gravy.” She kept her back to him, most likely knowing damned well what looks he was giving her. If she was going to fucking torture him with one meal, the least she could do was offer up some allowances on the other meals! “Please don’t look at me like that,” she muttered, her back still to him. “Once things get back on track, we can ease up on the restrictions.”

“An’ how fuckin’ long will that be?” So he gained a stone or two. It wasn’t the end of the damned world, right? He was almost sixty, for Christ’s sake. He’d be concerned if he _hadn’t_ gained weight. Well past middle age and shit. Practically a senior citizen. Besides, she had no fucking room to talk. He wasn’t joking about those arse dimples. She even had a few extra rolls on her stomach. The kids were old enough now that she had no reason to be hauling around the extra bit of padding she had. Gonna nitpick his physique, he could nitpick hers too! It was her fault he was in this boat anyway. Look at what she was feeding the heathens! Was it any wonder the two of them were hauling around some extra pounds? “You better be eatin’ the same shit as me, woman. If you sit down with waffles, I’ll steal your whole fuckin’ plate.”

“Of course I am,” she huffed not bothering to hide her irritation. She set the kids’ plates at the table and then seated herself with her own bowl of gruel on hand. “I’m not that much of an asshole. Unlike some.”

“What 'bout sweets an' stuff?” he said, gagging through a mouthful of oatmeal. “It's Halloween. Kids will be trick or treatin', yeah? The kids an' I made a deal an’ they’re gonna owe me a share of the loot.”

Hailey peered over at him, cocking an eyebrow. “A deal? Is that what you're calling it nowadays? You pretty much told them to pony up a share or they'd get no computer privileges or gaming privileges for a week.” A snorting laugh erupted from her as she took a hesitant bite of her oatmeal. “Sounds more like extortion to me.”

Murdoc cracked a grin, shoveling another spoonful of oatmeal into his mouth. “Well, Amy's six, what the hell does she need the computer for an'ways? Dun’ most kids that age prefer playin’ in the mud an’ catchin’ critters in the woods?”

“But Alec does need it for his school work,” she said matter of factly.

Chuckling, Murdoc shook his head. “He can do it the ol' fashioned way an' write the shit out by hand. Dun' they teach that in schools an'more?” He plucked out one of the blueberries, popping it into his mouth. “Regardless, they agreed t' give me a cut of the loot.”

“Exactly how much is this cut?” she asked, trying and failing to hide the disappointed look on her face as she stirred the oatmeal around in her bowl. “Should I even ask?”

“Twenty five percent each,” he cackled. “Which would include any an' all peanut butter cups.” He scooped out the last bite of the bland breakfast food, grimacing as he swallowed. “Even the generics.”

“You know you can't eat all that, right?” she asked, smirking at him. “One or two are one thing, but I know you well enough to know that it would all disappear within a few nights.”

Murdoc frowned into his empty bowl. He didn't care to be dictated on his sweets intake. It was never an issue before and Halloween was only once a year. One day a year where you were allowed to go nuts on the sweets. He’d looked forward to this night now since the kids had asked him about taking them out to Trick or Treat. It was exercise, wasn’t it? Going out to walk and avoid fucking cars so the kids could go door to door begging. He may very well have to hide some of the stash so she didn’t move it or hide it herself to keep him out of it. Though he knew she cared enough to say something and try to help, he also couldn't help but feel a bit pricked over being told what he could and couldn't do. The last person to dictate his food intake had been his father. That wasn’t a fair comparison because that rotten old bastard starved him while Hailey still offered up alternatives. Was a bit over two stone really that bad? Well, maybe on his frame. He was a small framed man, there was no getting around that. His ideal weight was somewhere between one-forty-five and one-fifty-five. And he was pushing almost a hundred and ninety-five. Ignorance was not bliss because you could actually tell he’d gained a significant amount of weight.

This just fucking blew, that's what. He wasn't a big sweets person and peanut butter cups were probably his only real vice in regards to that. Amy didn't like them anyway, so this meant she'd give him all of hers. Alec would most likely fight against giving them all up, but a deal was a deal, right? And Hailey herself would pick into their bags, he knew this. Previous Halloweens had always been amusing because he'd come down to the kitchen for something and find Hailey plucking some of her favorites from their bags. She preferred Snickers bars and always snagged a few for herself. So why did she have to pick now for them to go gung ho with this healthy lifestyle shit? She better not expect him to take up jogging. Or sit ups. The only way he’d exercise his middle is if it included the two of them sans clothes and a nice snug place to fit his cock.

At least he’d looked good for a few years, right? All the work they’d done in remodeling the house when they first bought it had done wonders for him and he’d been in the best shape of his life. Not even as a young man had he looked that good. He’d actually had muscle definition. Couldn’t deny that he’d looked fucking amazing then. Hailey couldn’t keep her fucking hands off of him and it had been amaze-balls. Always the adventurous one when it came to different positions, he’d discovered a liking for some that required him being able to hold their combined weight and he’d been able to do it without hurting himself or getting too winded. There’d even been times where he hadn’t even needed down time after blowing and would want to rock and roll into her again after five minutes. He’d never maintained it, though, and by the time Alec was just starting school, he’d gotten softer. And it wasn’t too much longer before he started getting winded again just doing the most menial of tasks. Hauling a basket of laundry up the stairs turned into a trek that required him to pause at the first landing so he could catch his fucking breath.

Hailey merely smiled sympathetically at him. “Welcome to the glories of getting past middle age. You're fifty-eight, not forty-eight. Everything is going to hit you and settle differently. It does it to me also.”

“I see you indulge all the time,” he grumbled, eye-balling the two sweet laden plates across from him. “Dun' lie, b'cause I've caught you.”

“Not all the time.” She took a bite of her own food. “I have to be careful too.”

From above them, he could hear the kids going through their usual morning motions. This usually entailed Amy barging into Alec's room, babbling away about something or bombarding him with a million questions and then followed with Alec barking at her to get out and leave him be. The boy was thirteen years old, but had the mouth and attitude of a man twice his age. Curse of puberty. Initially, Murdoc didn’t think there were any real differences, but after seeing a snap of the boy taken barely a year or two ago, there was little denying that the boy had grown. He was taller, most of the baby fat now gone, his face narrower. And like every other boy his age, wanted his privacy. This morning was no different, the sound of small footsteps followed by a creaking door, the sound of Amy's voice and then, cutting through the peaceful morning: “For Christ's sake, Amy, GET OUT!” Murdoc chuckled into his coffee, listening to the mini storm upstairs. Hailey seemed a bit annoyed by it, but said nothing as she nursed her own coffee and ate her bowl of oatmeal. There was a bit more squabbling before Amy finally came prancing down, humming softly to herself. “Jerk's in a bad mood,” she chirped, sliding into her chair and diving into the waffles without even a pause.

“Well, maybe you can try knockin' first before bargin' in t' his room?” Murdoc suggested with raised eyebrows. “I'd be in a bad mood too if some lil' kid kept bustin' through my door.”

“I'm his sister, he needs t' learn how t' deal,” she said in a matter of fact tone, shoveling a heaping bite into her mouth, ignoring the cream and fruit spread that had smeared around her mouth as she went in for another bite. “S’posed t’ come with the territory.”

Hailey shoved her empty bowl aside, fixing Amy in a stern gaze. “He's right. Alec needs his privacy. You need to knock first and wait for him to tell you it's okay. Or wait until he comes outa there.”

“You take all the fun outa it,” Amy muttered through her waffles and whipped cream. “I sprayed pretty smell in there this time. It stinks. Smells like sweaty socks an' arse crack.”

Murdoc choked against his coffee, gasping and laughing at the remark. He wasn't going to disagree with that. The boy's bedroom fucking reeked on the best of days. Hygiene was no longer a big issue with the boy, but he’d still missed the memo about keeping the room fumigated. Dirty clothing never found the hamper. It always found his floor. And this included his reeking shorts and socks. Christ, did his feet fucking honk. Both Murdoc and Hailey were the ones who helped him with his shoes and there were days the smell would bowl them over. Poor lad was self conscious as hell about it, too. No matter how much he cleaned them, once in socks and trainers for a few hours, that was it. Murdoc couldn’t remember if he had this problem as an adolescent and Hailey never indicated she’d had this issue either. Was rotten feet normal? Christ, what if it didn't pass? What if they were stuck smelling his rotten arse feet forever? Murdoc wasn't sure he could handle smelling those things for another five or six years.

Hailey couldn't stop laughing, finally setting her half drank mug onto the table. Leave it to Amy to tell it like it was, right? Amy flashed a smile through another bite, finally wiping at some of the cream that had smeared her face. “When do we get t' go trick or treatin'?”

“Later tonight,” Murdoc mumbled, watching as the girl crammed another forkful into her mouth and feeling momentarily envious. Maybe he could clear the whipped cream from the plate once she was finished? “You both have school still an’ Stu, Noodle an’ Tess are comin’ over t’ tag ‘long.” He glanced up, catching Hailey’s somewhat confused expression. Had he forgotten to tell her that Stu and Noodle were joining them? Could’ve sworn he’d said something but some days were so bloody busy, it was hard to say. Maybe he’d made a mental note to do so and just forgot? He drained what remained of his coffee, rising up from the table to snag a refill. “Sorry, Poppet, thought I told you.”

“Yeah, you didn’t,” she muttered, her eyes on the plate Amy was still plowing through. She was looking at it the same way he’d been looking at it. She’d better not take what was left for herself because he’d fucking fight for those lingering splashes of whipped cream.

Amy shoveled the remaining waffles into her mouth, clearly oblivious to the hungry wolves eyeing her plate. “Can’t wait for Stu an’ Noods t’ see our costumes.” She stared at the cream and smudges of preserves that streaked the plate briefly before picking it up and using her long tongue to wipe it clean. Murdoc lowered his head in defeat, silent as he refilled his coffee and tossed the dish into the sink. From behind him, he could hear Hailey groan. So much for sweet treats, eh?

*****************************

Hailey smiled from the doorway, watching as Murdoc buttoned his shirt. “I can't believe you even grew a beard for this,” she laughed, sauntering into the bedroom. “You think folks will get the theme?”

“The show hasn’t been off the air that long,” he said, smiling in the mirror, watching as she came up behind him. Given the program's popularity, he was sure most would catch on to who they all were. It had run for over ten years and had acquired a massive following, Hailey and Alec included. Twelve seasons total before the network had decided to end it. Even Murdoc had sat down to watch it with her, intrigued with the show and the premise. Never mind that the last episode had aired two or three years ago, people still talked about it. And there had even been a couple of spin offs that managed to run a solid five or six seasons. It was one of the few shows they all watched together, even if Murdoc's interest in it wasn't as deep as his son or wife. He liked the acting and the premise, the special effects as well, but both Hailey and Alec could talk for hours about the characters and what had taken place, discussing something as simple as a sentence or gesture, trying to figure out the meaning behind it. Telly nerds, the both of them.

Murdoc took a step back, examining his reflection in the mirror. The shirt was one of his older shirts and Hailey had painstakingly went to work on what she needed to make the stains appear real. It was mostly make up and some craft supply shit, but the end result looked amazing. One would think he'd been living in that shirt forever. She'd designed all their costumes. For someone who claimed to not be crafty, she'd done a damned fine job. As for himself, the only thing he really needed to do was grow a beard and apply some make up to make his face look worn and gaunt. He'd never attempted to grow a beard before outside of the goat-tee he'd had in his younger years, and now he remembered why. Aside from how badly it itched when it was growing in, he'd been alarmed at how grey it had come in. And there was also the work in keeping it trimmed.

“You should trim your hair and slick it back,” she muttered, her fingers running along his scalp. “I have scissors and the clippers in the bathroom drawer.”

“Dun' you dare touch the hair, woman,” he said, still smiling. “This hair is trademarked.”

“It's also thinning and grey,” she pointed out, her finger pausing at a spot near the back where he knew the hair was thinning. “You don't really notice it, though.”

“ _I_ notice,” he muttered. “An' you were the first t' point it out.”

She cracked a smile, her finger straying down his scalp, grazing the back of his neck. “I think the beard makes up for it. You should keep it. It's a good look.”

“Just admit it, woman, you only want _Officer Friendly_ ,” he cackled. He’d found that part the funniest. While all women of the world gushed over that filthy redneck character with the crossbow, Hailey had absolutely fucking adored the former sheriff deputy who was the show’s main character. He’d gotten her tickets to the MCM London Comic Con the previous year that included attending a panel with the actor and a meet and greet to get her photo taken with him. Murdoc did find it a bit interesting that she could act like such a gushy fan girl towards the actor when she was attached to a Rock God who was known around the globe and had even rubbed elbows with some big names in the music scene. It was just one of those weird little quirks of hers that he got a kick out of. He was a fine one to talk anyway seeing that he’d gotten weak in the knees meeting Madonna backstage after a show a few years back and he’d worked with the woman on stage years before.

Feeling the sting of a slap on his rump, he snapped back to attention, catching Hailey’s intrigued gaze over his shoulder as she slid her arms around him. “While _Officer Friendly_ sounds awesome, I’m rather partial to his stand in currently.”

Murdoc’s lewd grin collapsed when he saw the time. Tusspot and his clan would be there any minute now. “I’m ‘fraid it’s gonna have t’ wait until we get back.” Her own little smirk fell with this revelation, her hand dropping away from his hip as she stepped away. He gathered the remaining things he’d acquired to make the costume, spotting the wide brimmed hat still sitting on the dresser. Buckling the revolver holster, he chuckled at the cheap little cap gun that Hailey had found in a local five and dime. One of those classic toy numbers that he even remembered seeing neighborhood kids play with when he’d been a lad.

He could hear Amy whining from down the hall about needing Mum to help with her make up. Alec was silent, his door closed, but he’d been pretty stoked about dressing up and going out to get candy. Most might say he was too old for it but Murdoc’s view on it all was you’re only a kid once and it was something Alec still enjoyed, so he wasn’t about to break the lad’s balls over enjoying a more childish activity. Besides, they needed to be together for the costume. The only one bowing out was Hailey and only because she wanted to be home in case their house got hit up by some of the neighborhood crotch goblins. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Hailey slipping out of the room to go help Amy. Casting one last look at himself in the mirror, he cracked a smile and snatched up the hat. “Oi, Alec, you ‘bout ready?” From behind Alec’s closed door came a grunted “Just ‘bout!” Everything appeared to be coming together nicely. Satisfied with how he looked, he ambled through the hall, catching sight of Hailey kneeling in front of an impatient Amy as she tried to apply the make-up.

He could see headlights slicing through the windows once he’d reached the main floor and cut through the kitchen. Dents had been tight-lipped about the costumes he and Noods were doing and Murdoc was actually curious to see. Hopefully it wasn’t something stupid. Murdoc had outlined the costume plan he had for him and the kids and all he could do was hope that the Face-Ache kept up the theme. It was one of his favorite genres, after all. From outside he could hear the sound of car doors slamming and Tessie’s excited chatter. Murdoc opened up the door, freezing in the doorway as he took in the trio waltzing down the paved path to the door. He bit his lip, feeling the laughter bubbling up.

Tessie looked adorable, as she should. Wearing a blond bob wig and carrying a rag doll, clad in high water leggings and a plain t-shirt, fake blood all over her. When she looked up at him, he took a surprised step back. Theatrical blood on her face and they’d even gotten her milky white contacts. Bit much for a night of Trick or Treating but it was a pretty cool costume. Noodle lingered a few steps behind her, her dark hair loose, wearing a tattered shirt with skinny jeans and boots, a plastic rifle slung over her shoulder. The character name escaped Murdoc and he found himself flipping through the different characters he’d seen in the show, landing on the only one he could think of, a character who’d left the show a few seasons before the finale. A fan favorite also, if he remembered correctly.

He hadn’t expected them to follow suit with the theme he and the kids were going with, but this was pretty fucking awesome. Noodle smiled at him when she and Tess reached the door. “Happy Halloween, Rick Grimes,” she chuckled in a bad southern accent.

“An’ a happy Halloween t’ you t’, Maggie Rhee,” he said with a thick drawl, tipping the hat at her. He perked his head up when Stu emerged. This was laughable. Fucking laughable. But boy, did Stu get it down. He’d even trimmed his blue hair, covered it up with some kind of dye and slicked it back. Clad in a black biker jacket, red bandanna tied around his neck, carrying what appeared to be a cheap knock off of the infamous Lucille bat. Now this was comical. Stu really thought he could pull off one of the meanest fucking characters of the show? Cackling, he pointed towards Stu as the man ambled down the pathway. “You gotta be fuckin’ kiddin’ me, mate! _Negan?_ For fuckin’ real? You were better off goin’ as Milton!”

Stu scowled, swinging the styrofoam bat. Murdoc ducked back, the bat breezing past his face as Stu cackled at him. “You won’t fink it’s so funny when I beat your arse wiff dis bat!” He slipped past Murdoc through the door, lingering in the foyer and looking around. “You didn’t decorate?”

“Now why would we do that when we’re headin’ out with the kids, Face-Ache?” Murdoc strolled into the kitchen, digging around in the cupboards until he found what he’d been looking for. A plain copper colored flask. Hailey had gotten it for him on a previous birthday and he generally only used it when he had meetings and other things that put him in places and around people he didn’t want to deal with. Rummaging through the freezer produced a half gallon of Captain Morgan. He could feel both Stu and Noodle staring at his back and Alec was emerging from the sitting room, now staring at him with a raised eyebrow. He better not rat him out to Hailey. “Dun’ tell you Mum,” he whispered, winking at the boy.

Alec said nothing, only shaking his head as he made his way through the kitchen towards the lounge where Stu, Noodle and Tess lingered. He was dressed in a t-shirt Hailey had created specifically for his costume. White with a paw print in the middle and what appeared to be swirls of some kind. If Murdoc remembered correctly, the shirt was meant to represent another comic that existed within the universe of the show. What was it called? Rocket Dog? No, Science Dog, right? He heard Alec start giggling and saying something to Stu about his costume, Murdoc not really paying much attention at this point. More focused on filling the flask and tucking it away in a jacket pocket.

More noises from upstairs got their attention and Hailey appeared suddenly, not catching sight of the flask, followed by a stumbling Amy, who was clad in pajamas, a fuzzy pink bathrobe and filthy bunny slippers. Black hair loose. The make up effects were pretty spot on, Amy going as the first _Walker_ revealed in the show, the little girl stumbling through the car park. Hailey had done a bang up job. She’d used the cheap costume make up but also added some extra ingredients and even some of her own make up to make it appear as if part of Amy’s face had been bitten off as well as injuries around her neck and then whatever she’d done to weather the clothing, similar to whatever she’d done to Murdoc’s costume and Alec’s costume. Amy paused in the foyer, staring around at everyone. “We’re all goin’ as Walkin’ Dead people?”

“Looks like it,” Murdoc huffed, passing Alec his jacket. “Right then...let’s get this show on the road, shall we?”

***********************

2D cracked a gap-toothed smile at the different families that passed them as they made their casual walk through the narrow country road. Some of the adults paused long enough to take in the train of random Walking Dead characters, led by Rick Grimes, followed by Carl Grimes, Walker Sophia, Maggie Rhee, the Pajama Girl Walker and tailed by the notorious Negan. They probably cut quite the figure as that strolled down the road towards a few more lit up houses. A few lingered long enough to stare at Carl, the boy using a cane to walk as he shuffled along with everyone, smiling at the bag of candy he’d already acquired from the several houses they’d already hit up. So far the night had gone amazingly well and there’d been talk of piling into their cars to head into the more suburban areas to hit up other houses since Murdoc’s rural home was one of only seven or eight in the entire area.

2D loved Halloween and loved dressing up. It was one thing he never outgrew and had enjoyed it immensely with Noodle when she’d been younger in their attempts to introduce her to western customs she had never experienced. He wanted to point this out, maybe have a giggle over some random long ago memory that might even make Murdoc smile. The moment he opened his mouth, he slammed it shut. Murdoc had made his discomfort of the relationship with Noodle well known, as had Russ. Wanting to bring up a distant memory from when Noodle had been a child in their care was the quickest way to trigger the man’s anger. Russ may have been Noodle’s primary caretaker, but Murdoc had filled in on plenty of occasions and there was some level of paternal love for her. The man who bragged about hundreds of conquests and who himself had narrowly escaped some sketchy legal situations with some younger fans was absolutely creeped out at the mere idea one of them would involve themselves with Noodle. The only thing that had kept the man from beating the snot out of the former singer was Noodle herself talking to him about it and making it clear this was her decision and he could either accept it or risk not having her in his life. Whatever type of love Murdoc felt for her, it was enough for him to swallow back his displeasure and tolerate the relationship.

Murdoc paused outside a lit up house that still had some lingering kids scattering down the pathway. He was staring at the house and then looking over at the rag-tag group lined up behind him. “Wanna hit this one up?” All three kids nodded their heads and started to trickle down the pathway to the front door. It was a massive house. It occurred to 2D that Murdoc’s house was one of the smallest ones. Most of the houses on this little country road were twice the size of the cottage. Why did this seem strange to him? Murdoc normally would go all out, want to show off his wealth. Yet his home was a small and aging cottage that had been a carriage house in another life and he seemed quite pleased with the home.

2D lingered with the adults, watching as the kids made their way to the door, cheerily greeting the resident with a chorus of “Trick or treat!” The resident, an older woman with white curly hair and massive glasses smiled at the kids before surfacing to look beyond them at the adults. Murdoc gave a friendly wave. “Just us, Ramona! How’s the leg, love? D’ya need Hailey t’ come by an’ take ya shoppin’ an’time soon?”

2D shook his head, not wanting to believe his ears. Since when was Murdoc Niccals neighborly like this? The man was as anti-social as they came. He’d hid in his Winnebago beneath Kong Studios. He’d hid on an island in the middle of the ocean. He’d even hid in the flat he’d lived in when they were in Paris. The man just didn’t offer himself for anything. No small talk. No conversations. And don’t you dare ask him for help for anything. 2D scratched his head, momentarily confused. They were older, sure, but he didn’t think he himself had changed much and the idea of Murdoc turning a new leaf, even if only in small degrees, was as foreign an idea as they came. “Did I juss hear dat right?” he asked, more to himself than anyone else. His black eyes flicked over to Alec and Amy, his mind struggling to piece together the math. The most sensible explanation available was simply they were older now. Murdoc was fifty-eight or fifty-nine, if he was doing the math right. Christ, was the man really almost there? That didn’t seem real. 2D sometimes didn’t want to even acknowledge that he was in his mid forties, so he could only imagine the internal panic attack Murdoc might be having. But it made sense. Murdoc was older, more settled in life. And judging by the extra bit of weight he was carrying, this new quiet and settled life treated him good.

The old lady – Ramona, 2D reminded himself – mentioned the possibility of needing Hailey to drive her to the market tomorrow or the day after that. “A’right, love, I’ll let Hailey know! She’ll give you a ring tomorrow!” Murdoc hollered back from just outside her gate. He turned to 2D suddenly, gesturing for them to start walking back towards the house. “Last two houses are cunts. We’ll take the kids in t’ town. There’s a lil’ suburb a few miles from here just before we hit the main city.” And they were back to walking in the direction they’d come from. Murdoc continued on ahead of them, the self proclaimed leader, humming a Billy Idol song as he sauntered along like some kind of elderly Pied Piper, sometimes even breaking out into air guitar as they strolled along. Upon reaching the cottage, all three kids started complaining loudly about cutting their night short, but their whines were quieted when Murdoc directed them to get into the cars and wait. “Gonna go an’ get the good shit!” he crowed, grinning at the three of them.

2D mostly just found himself pulled along for the ride, much like he’d always been. Back in the car with both Tessie and Amy in the backseat, the two girls chatting excitedly over what they’d gotten already with Murdoc whipping out of the drive in the convertible, Alec in the passenger seat. Noodle attempted to keep up, but there was one thing that hadn’t changed and that was Murdoc’s lead foot. He was easily going a solid ten over the posted speed limit and even from the distance, they could hear screaming eighties metal coming from the car. Noodle shook her head, half laughing as she tried to keep pace. “He can be like a big kid sometimes, you know that?”

“Reckon so,” 2D mumbled, cracking another smile. It was pretty comical. It was probably a sight to behold when it was just him out for a drive. He knew Murdoc had meetings with suits from the network and even a few different solicitors he used to go over the contracts and other aspects of his line of work. 2D could actually see it all too perfectly. Murdoc roaring into a car park, Dio screaming out of the car, dressed in jeans, a sports jacket, topped off with a pair of shades. He would totally do that, too. The suits from the television network probably heard him before he even reached the car park.

2D jumped with a yelp when his phone buzzed against his hip. Fumbling to reach it, he pulled up the screen and caught a message from Murdoc. _**Take the right on the roundabout and there will be a small playground on your left. Street parking available. You’ll see my car.**_ 2D looked up, spotting an oncoming roundabout. “Muds says take the right an’ we’ll see his car parked on the left.” Noodle did as instructed, both of them spotting Murdoc’s aging convertible parked beside a playground, just as he’d said. Both he and Alec were standing out on the sidewalk, waiting for them. Noodle was quick to park, barely managing to shut the sedan down before both Tess and Amy were unbuckling themselves and throwing the doors open to get out. 2D looked around the quiet park as he climbed out, catching sight of rowhomes and more groups of children. Murdoc was smoking a cigarette, gesturing for them to follow.

The neighborhood was actually quite nice and they appeared to be attracting quite a few stares from the random groups of parents and kids. Murdoc once again at the front of their little pack with 2D trailing behind with the foam bat over his shoulder. Alec remained a few steps behind Murdoc with Noodle behind him and flanked by both Tess and Amy. They hadn’t walked long, maybe less than ten minutes, when Murdoc announced that they’d reached a neighborhood and 2D found himself staring down the narrow little street full of brick rowhomes and littered with sporadic groups of children and adults. Murdoc lit another cigarette and gestured for Alec and the girls to go ahead, the three kids trickling away from them. He lit another cigarette and passed a couple of unlit ones towards both 2D and Noodle. “Let them hit up a few houses while we take a break, yeah?” The little residential neighborhood was actually swamped with children of varying ages. Some adults trickled behind the younger groups while kids who appeared to be more Alec’s age seemed to be supervising other groups. Up ahead of them, 2D could see Alec trying to keep up with the girls, who were dashing down walkways faster than he could walk, often departing the homes by the time Alec made it to the door. 2D cast a glance at Murdoc, who appeared to be watching them intently. Would he say something to Amy and Tess? Tess seemed to be catching on that they were leaving Alec in their dust and finally stopped just outside the gate of a home as she waited patiently for him to make his way around. She said something to him that none of the adults could hear, flashing a big smile as she slowed her pace to walk with him. Amy, on the other hand, was already a few houses ahead. Murdoc muttered under his breath, stubbing out the cigarette and briskly walking towards the kids. “Oi, Amy, you need t’ wait for your brother, damn it!” Both Tess and Alec turned around at the sound of his voice, but Amy only paused long enough to shake her head _no_ before bolting off to the next house. Murdoc broke into a jog as he attempted to catch up with the girl. 2D actually found this funny because there were times when Amy captured Murdoc’s personality so perfectly that he sometimes wondered if the man was proud of it or horrified by it. And even more amusing that the man had become so fucking laid back in his older years. Granted, he had a disabled child to care for and this alone was probably why he’d slowed his roll a bit.

It was obvious Amy’s defiance wasn’t going to go unchecked. Murdoc managed to catch up with her and tugged her back, barking at her about slowing down. He seemed winded and flushed. Amy shot off at him, something neither 2D or Noodle could hear, which was followed by Murdoc’s firmer tone and him stalking back towards everyone while still holding Amy’s arm as she squawked and shrieked that she wasn’t a baby. Alec and Tessie appeared to be setting their own pace, Tessie sometimes even giving Alec a bit of a head start down the pathways leading to the doors. Murdoc rejoined him and Noodle, still holding Amy firmly by her hand and ignoring her squeals. They continued to watch Alec and Tess as they strolled casually down the sidewalk, Tessie carrying Alec’s bag of loot as well as her own. At some point, Murdoc finally released Amy and she was gone in a flurry of pink fluff and black curls, bounding down the sidewalk to catch up with her older brother and their friend. The adults eventually started to walk down the sidewalk, some of the other adults out and about stopping long enough to exclaim excitedly about their costume them and a few others hyped that the costumed group was in fact the former Gorillaz band members. 2D smiled kindly at them as they strolled along, glad that they weren’t being hounded for autographs or photos. Everyone kind enough to realize they were out with their kids, just like everyone else, and deserved their space. There were days when he missed it, of course, but tonight was not one of those nights.

Tessie’s voice broke through his wandering thoughts, her tone on edge. “He dun’ hafta give ya an’thin’! Now sod off, the lot of ya!” Up ahead they could see that a group of teenagers had broken away from the pack of kids to stop over by Alec and Tess. Alec was backed against a fence with Tessie between him and the older kids. A group of five boys, one or two appearing to be around Alec’s age with the rest clearly older. Two of them towered over Alec, grinning maliciously as they kept reaching for the bags in Tessie’s hand. Murdoc perked his head up at the noise, narrowing his eyes at the group of older boys who were now shoving Alec back every time he tried to remove himself. Tessie wasn’t backing down, keeping herself between him and the boys the best she could, holding their candy bags tightly. One of the older boys reached out again to try and snatch the bag, but Amy had now joined the commotion, practically hissing at them.

One of the taller boy’s laughed, poking Alec in his chest. “Check it out, gimp boy has t’ rely on a pair of lil’ girls t’ protect him!” The boy was a tall drink of water with an acne ravaged face and buzzed blondish hair, his malicious smile all teeth and gums. He pushed Amy aside and snatched one of the bags from Tessie’s hand. “When I say hand it over, gimp boy, I mean it!”

“Oi!” Murdoc barked, now stalking towards the group. “Dun’ you lil’ tossers have somethin’ better t’ do besides tormentin’ ever’one out collectin’ candy?”

“An’ who are you, you ugly fat ol’ tosser?” Buzzcut demanded, leering at them. “Juss out wit m’ mates here, enjoyin’ the night like ever’one else, yeah?” He lunged for the other bag in Tessie’s hand, pulling his hand back abruptly when Amy snapped at his hand like a rabid little dog.

“Dun’ worry ‘bout it, Dad,” Alec said, shaking his head. “Just let ‘em take the candy. It’s not a big deal.”

“Yeah, _Dad_ ,” mocked Buzzcut. “Why dun’ you let your gimp boy fight his own battles? He’s too old t’ be out trick or treatin’ like a baby an’way.” Buzzcut pulled out one of the candy pieces, unwrapping it and shoving it into his mouth before turning his attention to Tessie. “Gimme the other bag, girl.”

Tessie shook her head defiantly. “Go screw yourself, you rotten muppet. I’m not givin’ you the other bag. Gonna have t’ try an’ take it.”

2D and Noodle eventually joined the commotion. It was clear Murdoc was trying like hell to keep his temper under control, almost seething at the pack of teenagers who continued to try to snatch the other bag Tessie held. Murdoc put himself between the teens and their kids, snarling at them. “You better start movin’ those legs an’ get the fuck outa m’ sight, you lil’ toe-rags!”

“Shakin’ in our boots, old man!” Buzzcut cackled, holding the snatched bag out of reach. 2D stepped in, Buzzcut looking him over from head to toe before erupting into near-hysterical laughter. All of the teens were laughing, pointing at Murdoc and 2D. “You an’ your skinny lil’ boyfriend gonna do somethin’ ‘bout us?” Buzzcut huffed, standing inches from Murdoc. “You can’t even touch us.”

2D reached a shaking hand out to pull on Murdoc’s shoulder. “He’s right, mate. He can’t be more den sixteen...we lay hands on him an’ he can have us arrested.”

Buzzcut continued to laugh, turning his attention back to Alec. Sneering, Buzzcut shoved him as hard as he could, sending Alec tumbling to the ground with a squeal. Amy unleashed a shriek, leaping at the other boy like a rabid little goblin. Tessie dropped her bag and also lunged in to the fray. Buzzcut’s friends backed away as the two girls started pummeling Buzzcut, his laughter cut short when Tessie landed a small fist into his chin. 2D and Noodle had joined the commotion, trying in vain to snatch at Tessie and pull her away while Murdoc was trying to pry Amy from the boy as she continued to swing her fists into him. A rage fueled snarl erupted from the teenager and he came up swinging both fists, one of them clipping Murdoc hard in the side of his head. He stumbled back, shaking his head and staring at the older boy in surprise. 2D felt Noodle push him away, squawking to go tend to Alec. He wasn’t a fighter, had never been one. He helped Alec back to his feet, the boy looking both hurt and embarrassed. It probably was a massive blow for him, unable to properly protect himself and having two primary school aged girls and his father trying to fight in his place. Murdoc was dragging Buzzcut from the fray, hauling him upright. Sneering, the boy landed another punch directly into Murdoc’s face. Stunned from the blow, he released the boy, hands over his face. Blood was seeping through his fingers, his eyes watering as he tried to shake the blow off. Amy was wrapped around the boy’s leg, trying to punch him in the nuts. Noodle was holding Tessie back as she continued to hurl threats at the pack of teenagers. Murdoc took a breath and dropped back in to try and pull Amy away just as Buzzcut kicked his leg hard and sent her somersaulting back across the sidewalk. Turning watery eyes at the teenager, Murdoc latched onto his shirt and sent a fist straight into the boy’s stomach. “Like pickin’ on people who can’t defend themselves, eh?” he snarled, sending another blow into the boy’s stomach. “Like hittin’ on lil’ girls?” Another blow. Another. The fight seemed gone from Buzzcut as he struggled to free himself from Murdoc’s grip, gasping for air. Noodle finally managed to get between them, barking at Murdoc to back down. He was furious, blind to Noodle’s presence as he shoved her aside and lunged towards the boy again.

One of Buzzcuts mates stepped in, planting a right hook right under Murdoc’s chin. It stopped him in his tracks, leaning against the fence and gasping as the pack of teenagers bolted from the scuffle. More people had started to congregate around them, some admonishing Murdoc for fighting the boys. 2D looked at Murdoc, watching as he wheezed and coughed against the fence, spitting blood and clutching at his chest. He looked pale, gasping and pounding a fist into his chest. Noodle perked her head up, rushing over to where Murdoc was as he gasped out something 2D couldn’t quite hear. Amy was at his side, tugging on his arm as he sunk down to his knees. Oh hell, this was bad wasn’t it? Blood pouring from his nose, his dark eyes wide as he continued to struggling to gain a lungful of air and clutching at his chest. “Stuart, call emergency! Call it now!” 2D stood there, unable to move, his arms dead and lifeless against him. The foam bat had dropped and now Amy was crying, Alec even sputtering something about a possible heart attack. No fucking way. A heart-attack? Murdoc? Noodle was still screaming at him to call someone. Call for help. Snapping out of his daze, he pulled is phone out and started dialing, watching as more people started to swarm around them. Murdoc was now sitting, his back against the fence. Listening to the line crackle before a voice came over, asking about the nature of their emergency, Alec screaming into the cell phone. “We think m’ Dad’s havin’ a heart attack! We need someone here!”

************************

Murdoc glowered from his hospital bed, arms folded across his chest and still furious at the doctors and nurses who continued to bother him and patronize him. He couldn’t understand why they were still treating him with kid gloves after this whole mess. Could be worse, he reasoned. They could have had the cops called on them over the fight. But it still didn’t change the fact that they’d kept him for three sodding days to keep him hooked up to machines and monitors in order to check his heart. Right after the punch in the face by one of those delinquent punks, he’d felt sharp pains in his chest and had difficulty breathing. Sure as fuck felt like a heart attack! Emergency personnel had arrived after some chaos around where exactly they were and he was getting hauled onto a stretcher and shoved into an ambulance before anyone could react. The kids had been terrified, 2D and Noodle had been terrified and somewhere in the chaos of the night, Hailey wasn’t informed of what happened until a hour or two later when 2D and Noodle brought Alec and Amy back to the house. Then he had to deal with Hailey fluttering around him like a butterfly on crack, carrying on about this was why she started cooking healthier, this was why he couldn’t eat all the candy he wanted, this was why she or he did A, B or fucking C.

Acid reflux, the doctors said finally. Really bad reflux. Murdoc had no idea that a bad case of indigestion could feel almost identical to a heart attack. Could have fooled him. And though he’d joked about it, there was little denying the fact that it had indeed scared the shit out of him. Made him acutely aware of the fact that he had gained more weight than he could comfortably carry and Hailey’s dictator-ish meal planning had been for a reason. His own doctor had warned him numerous times about his health, especially knowing how he was when it came to his peanut butter cups and Hailey’s rich cooking. He was clinically obese. It just didn’t seem possible. He glanced at himself in the mirror on the far wall of his nice little private hospital room. He didn’t look obese, did he? His eyes traveled downward, seeing his stomach rest obscenely over. Christ, he even had the start of some good sized knockers, it seemed. Get any bigger and he’d need a bra. Give Hailey a run for her money, eh?

Laughing at himself, he sank back into the pillows. What a night. Reminded him of the time he, Stu, Russ and Noodle had been living in Kong. It had been Noodle’s first time trick or treating and they had run into some local punks that time too, hadn’t they? Murdoc couldn’t one hundred percent remember because he’d been smashed to the gills on Satan-knows what. Drunk to boot. But he seemed to remember some local kids harassing a little ten or eleven year old Noodle, trying to snatch her bag. Could have easily just had Russ handle it but Murdoc had been so fried, he hadn’t cared. He’d beat the snot out of the punks for daring to lay a hand on his little Guitar Princess, sending the kids scattering like the cockroaches they were.

Good times. Good fucking times. Poor Alec just wanted a night to enjoy himself, a night to be a kid still and a bunch of stupid little cunts had to cause trouble. From what Hailey and Stu told him, he was mortified that he had two little girls and his _ancient father_ coming to his defense. Alec hadn’t known the older boys but two of the little shits were boys he attended school with. Given the situation, both Alec and Amy were kept out of school the following day and it gave the kids an impromptu three-day weekend. Murdoc’s little three day vacation in hospital was coming to an end with talk of his discharge by later in the day. Everyone was a bit out of it and discombobulated. He’d expected to be lectured by Noodle for causing a bigger scene, but she’d actually pointed out that he’d done a good thing and the punk he’d hit a few times deserved it. Might make the shit rethink picking on those who were incapable of defending themselves. Besides, who the fuck steals bags of candy from children? Murdoc hadn’t heard about that type of shit since he was a young man himself. You never heard about that anymore. It had been enough for him to believe this right of passage evaporated through the years with more and more younger kids and teens focusing on helping one another and helping the planet. The whole woke culture thing.

Still hadn’t changed the fact that a pack of unruly little slags had targeted a disabled boy with his little sister and one of her mates. He had actually been a bit surprised that Tessie had gone on the defense for him like that. He hadn’t pegged Tess for a fighter. Amy, well...she was down for a throw down no matter what the reason so her jumping into the chaos hadn’t been a surprise. But Tess? Murdoc was certain that Stu had filled her head with all that Buddhist nonsense about turning the other cheek, so on and so forth. Apparently this wasn’t the case or perhaps she just ignored all of it in favor of fighting for a friend? Shame she and Alec were several years apart in age. There were times when it was obvious she and Alec shared similar personalities. A polar opposite to Amy, who was only a year and a half or so younger than Tess. And while he’d caught moments where Alec and Tess could chat together or play games and have fun, the age gap made itself known more times than not. Alec was thirteen and had a mind like most thirteen year old boys. Tessie was around eight, almost nine, and wrinkled her nose in disgust at some of the things Alec joked about. Couldn’t deny it was quite the sight seeing this tall and slender eight year old who stood almost as tall as Alec step into a confrontation to take on a pack of boys twice their size.

Bah, he was letting his thoughts trail. He was bored. The food fucking sucked. And the kids still owed him their fucking peanut butter cups! He was still owed a percentage of their loot for the night and he’d make sure they ponied up. They had to. He was in the hospital because of their desire to get as much candy as possible (never mind that it was his idea!) so they owed him another five percent of their candy. He’d just have to keep the candy hidden away so the little heathens couldn’t find it and take it back. Give him something to look forward to after whatever tasteless health dinner Hailey planned to force down his throat. He stared over at the tray of partially eaten food on the table. Hell, whatever she prepares might actually be a damn sight better than the crap the hospital was serving him. He’d probably shovel it down like a hungry wolf once home. He could only handle this tasteless fare for so long. Who the hell was he kidding? After going through this bullshit over _acid fucking reflux_ , she had better have some bangers and mash waiting for him or some other delicious and greasy concoction. Pick up the dieting bullshit after he got settled back at home.


	20. Disrupted

The sun broke through the steel grey clouds, casting the kitchen in a dull glow. From where Murdoc stood on the narrow balcony, he could see right through the slider and at ten year old Ben, who was busy shoveling cereal into his mouth. Both Alec and Murdoc had removed themselves to the balcony for this discussion, something that Murdoc suspected Ben knew a bit more about than he let on. The boy continued to take massive heaping bites of the cereal, just sort of casually looking about.

Alec and Ben had lived in the flat going on about five years now. Alec had found the place a few months after his one on one with Murdoc at the pub. Little did they know upon returning home that night that Nina was moving out the very next day. She’d lied about finding a flat to look at. She had simply packed her belongings, kissed Ben good-bye, flung a few choice words at Alec and then simply left. Poor Ben, only five years old at the time, had no idea what had happened and had cried for his mother for days following her departure. Murdoc couldn’t wrap his brain around it. How could she just walk away from her son? What kind of Mum did that? After all she’d done to break away from her controlling parents and after all he and Hailey had done to help her, she’d ditched her son because she could no longer handle Alec? Alec had suspected they would break things off at some point, but he’d been just as ill-prepared for her departure as well, especially with suddenly finding himself a single parent to a five year old little boy. Both Murdoc and Hailey were confident he would manage just fine and he had done just that. He’d went to the courts and was able to gain official sole custody so she couldn’t come back and snatch the boy. He had a good clerical job at the market he’d once been the stock-boy for, had managed to save up a decent sum of money and then found the flat he currently resided in. A narrow little two bedroom with a tiny balcony. Four stories up with a little Bodega on the main level.

Alec had continued to push himself, force his body to cooperate. His tremor was as controlled as it could be. He could manage just fine the vast majority of the time, but still had the occasional day where the tremor got the better of him. He still complained of his legs feeling heavy and numb, but could walk with a limp and only use his cane once in a while. He’d joined a gym and encouraged Murdoc to come with, but Murdoc usually just waved him away. He was eighty years old. He’d shed that extra weight he’d gained a while back, but he wasn’t confident enough in his body to attempt some of those contraptions.

The lifestyle changes Alec had undergone were clearly helping because he appeared to have no problem attracting the ladies and had dated a little on and off. Hell, even Tessie had to do a double take one time when she’d spotted him shirtless over at his parents’ house. She had stopped by to return a book to Hailey and Alec had just happened to be there helping Murdoc with some of the yard overhaul. Tessie had paused right at the patio, staring him over and Murdoc had seen the weird little flash in her eyes. Like she was noticing Alec for the first time. Shame she was married, yeah? Of course, she had quickly recovered and said her cheery greetings before bounding off, but Murdoc had picked up on that weird little pause and flush to her cheeks, chuckling to himself as he continued on with his task of smoking his cigarette and watching Alec do all the work. Absolute shame she was married to Alec’s best mate because it was obvious her and Alec got on well in their adults years. Hadn’t Alec been dating some other bird at the time anyway? Might have been. He never dated them long enough for anything to become serious so it was difficult to keep track of the names and faces. But Murdoc would have been more than willing to play matchmaker to Tess and Alec had it not been for those pesky little details of both of them being involved with someone else.

The years passed and things seemed to be going well enough for Alec. Nina had attempted to call once to talk to Ben, but Alec had refused to put him on the line. Alec had been incensed that she’d tried to call to make nicey nice as if she hadn’t vanished from the boy’s life several years before. This was how Alec found out she’d gone back to her parents’ home and picked up her life as if Ben didn’t exist. He’d vented about it during one of Murdoc’s many visits, cursing the woman to hell for abandoning her son and then thinking she could pop up years later as if nothing had happened. Who had been the one to have to answer a five year old’s questions over where their Mumma was and why she hadn’t come back? Who had been the one to pick up for the both of them when he’d still been struggling to recover? The very thing Nina had come to hate about Alec had become the thing Murdoc was most proud of. He had drive. He had fire. He was unforgiving. The mild mannered young man who had accepted his failing body and simply rolled with the punches had died that night he’d slipped into a coma and what had awoken was something Nina couldn’t handle.

Murdoc took a drag from his cigarette, watching Ben from the corner of his eye as the boy finished his cereal and wandered away to put the dish in the sink. He turned his attention back to Alec, who looked exhausted and irritated with his own cigarette burning between his fingers. Dark hair greying at his temples, silver mixed in the beard on his face, green eyes that appeared bleary and tired through a pair of simple plastic framed glasses. He leaned against the railings, looking over at Murdoc and not bothering to hide his frustrations. “It's just 'nother headache I dun' need,” Dad,” he growled, exhaling smoke through his nose. “I'm not worried 'bout an'thin' actually happenin', just frustrated over the time I need t' take from work an' the pay loss. It's an all day hearin', Dad.” He blinked, looking over at Murdoc, who was smoking his own cigarette in silence, staring out at the other buildings that surrounded them. Sighing, he dropped his gaze to the street below. “An' what do I tell Ben?”

“You dun' tell him a damned thin'.....Not yet an'way,” Murdoc said in a matter of fact tone, flicking his ash over the railing. “Right now, this is between the adults, yeah? Dependin' on how that hearin' pans out, then you sit him down an' explain what's goin' on.”

“But what if she wins?” he asked in a strained meek voice.

“The judges involved aren't stupid, Alec,” Murdoc pointed out. “They're not goin' t' rule in her favor after bein' absent from the boy's life now for half his life. She fuckin' abandoned him. Only tried t' make contact once, Alec! You have sole custody over the boy. She didn't contest the original order you got in place, yeah? She should be happy you didn't strip her of her rights altogether!” He knew the situation was stressful, but surely Alec knew that freaking out would accomplish nothing. The woman had bailed for over five years and only now popped back up wanting custody. No court was going to look kindly on her and would most likely question her motives. Murdoc certainly was questioning her motives. She dropped off the face of the planet for over five years and is only now popping up out of nowhere thinking she could just snatch custody from Alec? What exactly had changed in her life that made her change her mind about being a Mum?

Alec grunted in response, staring down at the street below. No matter how much Murdoc assured him that everything would be fine, the doubts were obvious. Murdoc knew that courts could be unpredictable and while he didn’t think it was a huge chance, he recognized that Nina could easily manipulate the judge into seeing her as some sort of victim. Small, but still there. He didn’t want to think some court would side with her once Alec laid out all the facts, facts that were well documented. The original custody order. The original text messages that led to that custody order, messages that made it clear she wanted to be left alone and good luck raising Ben on his own. Alec had more than enough evidence to show that Nina had zero business obtaining full custody from him. But courts were strangely fickle things that sometimes sided with the women. She was apparently presenting a case that painted Alec as disabled and unstable. Highlighting the fact that he’d changed so much since waking from the coma and that had been why she left.

“Look,” Murdoc said, stubbing his cigarette out, “you're worryin' 'bout nothin', boy. Let her drag you before the magistrate an' see how far she gets. She'll be laughed outa court!”

“An' how will it make me look when they see that she called once t' try t' talk with Ben an' I told her t' bugger off?” he asked in a low voice. “She could twist that t' make it look like I kept her 'way.”

Murdoc sneered, tossing the extinguished cigarette into the ashtray on the table. “She called once, Alec. Fuckin' once. An' that was after two years with no word from her. She never tried 'gain after that, right?”

Alec nodded, taking another drag from his cigarette. “Never after that. She even blocked her number so I had no way of tryin' t' contact her.” He groaned, shoving his fingers through his hair. Murdoc knew this was stressful for him. Alec didn't need this. Ben didn't need this. Fearing that tiny minuscule possibility that the court could rule in her favor. What if she won and Alec suddenly had to hand Ben over to her? Alec would most likely fight it, refusing to hand Ben over unless he was faced with absolutely zero choice. And then the courts could use that against him and make his own access to Ben difficult, if not impossible.

No point thinking about the what ifs. That would get them nowhere. Murdoc was confident that Alec would come out of this unscathed and still holding full custody. The most Nina could hope for was visitation and given the length of her absence, that would most likely be at Alec’s discretion. Nina’s efforts to paint him as unstable and physically incapable would be dashed to the ground the moment he walked into that court room. He’d maintained an exercise routine, still went to physical therapy appointments and Murdoc wasn’t even sure the last time Alec had a seizure. Alec even had driving papers, something he’d never had as a young man. Nina had an uphill battle, even if Alec hadn’t made the strides he’d made. Especially given his support system. Ben and Hailey were super close. Alec and Murdoc were close. Though Murdoc and Hailey had offered monetary help on more than one occasion and even still had a trust fund for Alec, he’d refused to accept anything and preferred to do it all himself. Though Murdoc did find out that Hailey was slipping cash into his account at the bank. Whether Alec knew this or not, Murdoc didn’t know. It all really boiled down to the fact that Nina’s line of attack wasn’t going to get anywhere, not with how well Alec was doing for himself.

Alec scrubbed his hands across his face. “Hope she’s ready for a fight. I’m not backin’ down. She seems t’ think I’ll back down b’cause she has the fancy solicitor an’ the money t’ back it up. I’ll keep goin’ until I dun’ have a penny t’ m’ name, Dad. An’ if she still continues, I’ll just take Ben an’ disappear. I am not gonna just hand him over t’ her.”

Murdoc reached out, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “Seriously, boy, dun’ worry ‘bout it. She doesn’t have a leg t’ stand on an’ she knows it. Why else would she think gettin’ a nasty high priced legal eagle an’ usin’ Daddy’s money t’ back her up will put thins’ in her favor?” He uttered a chuckle, catching only the ghost of a smile on Alec’s face. “Dun’ let her get under your skin, Alec. The ball is in your court. You got this.”

Alec lifted his head, staring at the slider door, catching sight of Ben. The boy had returned to the table with another massive bowl of cereal. How much could that boy eat? Was he going through another growth spurt? He was actually pretty tall for his age, which had baffled both Alec and Murdoc. Alec was five-foot-six and Murdoc was five-foot-seven. This led both of them to assume that Ben would be short much like they were. Yet, his height often had people mistaking him for twelve or even thirteen. Nina’s father was a pretty tall bloke and Murdoc knew his own father and brother had been above average in height. What would be the odds that they got the short end of the stick while Alec’s own son surpassed them in height?

Ben was a smart kid. He probably wouldn’t agree to a custody change without a fight either. Or maybe he would? Neither Murdoc or Alec knew what Ben’s thoughts were on the matter. Though Alec made a point not to make any negative remarks about Nina in Ben’s presence, Murdoc couldn’t claim innocence in this because he’d made his opinion of the woman well known and no doubt Ben had overheard him on more than one occasion. Ben’s thoughts on his mother were unknown, really. Alec suspected the boy remained silent to avoid causing problems and while that was certainly an admirable trait, it wasn’t something a kid Ben’s age needed to worry about. If he loved his Mum, he should be allowed to express this. If he hated her, he should be allowed to express this too. If he was interested in visiting her, he should let them know. Murdoc wasn’t exactly on board with the slag having access to Ben, but it wasn’t his call and he had to remind himself that his feelings about the woman shouldn’t be dictating how Ben felt about her.

“Should go talk t’ him,” Alec said, pulling open the slider. Murdoc opened his mouth to protest, but slammed it shut and trailed behind him back into the flat. He didn’t see the point in worrying the lad. Court was still a few weeks away and there was no reason to get Ben anxious over the idea of being shuttled around unless they had no other choice. It did make it obvious where he and Alec differed in some ways still. He’d want to make sure Ben was prepared in the event of a worse case scenario so it didn’t come as a huge surprise.

Murdoc looked over at Ben, who was hovering over his second helping of cereal. “Your Dad has somethin’ t’ talk t’ ya ‘bout, boy.”

Ben perked his head up, crunching away on a mouthful of some chocolate cereal he’d poured into a massive tupperware bowl. Alec seated himself at the table with Murdoc claiming a chair off to the side. Alec made no effort to shoo Murdoc away so it was safe to assume he didn’t mind him being there for this. Alec cracked a smile at Ben as the boy continued to shovel massive heaping spoonfuls into his mouth. “Got some questions for you, Ben.”

Still chewing, Ben perked his head up. He opened his mouth to speak, a few kernels of cereal falling out before he clamped it shut and finished chewing. “What kinda questions?”

Alec took a breath and Murdoc could see his nerve wavering. After a moment of lingering silence, Alec finally exhaled and spoke. “So...you know how your Mum left when you were small, yeah?” When Ben nodded in response, Alec continued. “I was informed that she is tryin’ t’ get you back. Her an’ I are goin’ t’ court soon an’ have a judge decide for us since we can’t ‘gree on an’thin’.”

Ben’s brow twitched in confusion, his dark eyes narrowing slightly. He took another bite of his cereal, crunching away as he looked at both Alec and Murdoc. “Why does she want me back now? What if I dun’ wanna go with her?”

“Unfortunately, if the courts say you do, you won’t have a choice in the matter.” It was obvious Alec had to choke those words out. But it was the plain truth, something Ben needed to hear. It wouldn’t matter what Ben wanted, only what the courts decide.

“Well that’s just bloody stupid,” Ben snorted. “Dun’ matter...if they make me, I’ll just run ‘way an’ come back here. They can’t make me stay.”

Murdoc shook his head. “Ben, this is serious. If you do that, the courts can have you locked up in a juvenile facility. Your Mum can even have the courts limit your Dad’s access t’ you. They can make you stay, even if it’s not what you want.”

Ben paused mid-scoop, the spoonful of cereal lingering in the air before he finally dropped it back into the bowl. “Well, I dun’ wanna go live with her an’ nobody’s gonna make me.” Rising up from the table, he shoved the half eaten bowl onto the counter. “This whole thin’ is stupid. Why do they get t’ decide where I go an’ think I dun’ have a right t’ have a say in it?”

Alec frowned, sighing loudly in the narrow dining area. “It’s just how they do it. Look, Ben, it may not even happen. It’s entirely possible that the court won’t side with your Mum, but it’s something we need t’ be prepared for in the event it does happen.”

Ben stood in the kitchen, staring at him as if he’d grown two heads. Murdoc could only assume the boy was trying to process the information they’d given him. Maybe it had been a bad idea to tell him all of this? He was only ten, after all, and his understanding of how things worked was very black and white. As much as Murdoc thought it was too soon to say anything, he realized even waiting might not have been a good plan either because Ben could easily come apart at the seams if he found out he was being sent off to live with the mother he barely remembered and given no say over his own life. It was a rotten deal because courts did this shit all the time. Even teenagers weren’t given much say over where they ended up when parents fought over their custody. One of Murdoc’s pub buddies complained about his own daughter being sent to a juvenile facility because she refused to go live with her own mother. The girl had refused to cooperate and the courts allowed the mother to declare the girl defiant and incompetent and had her locked up. It was a rotten system and Murdoc could only thank his lucky stars that he and Hailey had never been in that position. Yankee courts were even worse, from what he’d heard and read.

Alec eventually cleared his throat, the silence stretching between them all just a bit too much. “I’m not gonna stress on it, Ben. I dun’ think the courts will side with her. But just be mindful that it is a small possibility.” He looked small in those moments, his eyes on the table, probably thinking hard about how this could all play out. Shame Alec had so much on his plate. He should be enjoying his life, enjoying life with his son and whomever he might eventually hook up with, not worrying about some rotten fire crotch slag who thinks she can use her daddy’s money to bulldoze back into his life and take away his son.

*********************

Bent over the desk and paperwork, Alec kept himself preoccupied with the scheduling and payroll numbers. Shut away in his office, he was glad for the solitude. Though he'd been working the human resources position at the market for years now, it was still oddly unsettling. So different from his old position working in the back stock area, inventorying merchandise and wrangling the disposal of items past their sell by dates out on the sales floor. He couldn't complain, though. His current role wasn’t as physically demanding, offered him human hours and paid a decent salary. It was also a bit interesting to realize that his Mum had worked in a similar position around the time she’d met his Dad. Full circle and shit, eh? The only real downside was payroll time when he had to wrangle all the time slips, leave requests and holiday requests. Twice a month, he would spend the better part of the day hunched over the desk, checking different staff member’s accumulated leave hours versus, running numbers in spreadsheets, jotting notes, verifying worked hours and only stopping long enough to remove his glasses and rub his eyes. It wasn’t as physically demanding, but it sure did a number on his head. Math wasn’t his strong suit. Thank Christ he had calculators and a spreadsheet because he probably would have come apart at the seams by now if he had to try to do all of this shit with a pencil and paper.

Working at the market also provided some epic perks that were a blessing as a single parent. He had a decent employee discount that helped ease the strain of their grocery budget. Ben would eat him out of house and home at the rate that boy was putting it down. One would think he never fed the kid with the way he'd raid the cupboards and eat his food. The other big perk being he was able to work human hours and had weekends off. This allowed him to have something of a personal life. Well, maybe not currently seeing that Lana decided to break up with him because he’d apparently been nothing but a rebound for her, but he still had a life outside of work and there was that. A lot of people his age couldn’t say they had that. If he wanted to nip down to the pub down the road from his flat, he could. If he wanted to meet up with mates for lunch or whatever, he could. If he and Ben wanted to take a weekend trip to the coast, they could do that.

One of the big things he enjoyed about this position was that he was rarely bothered in the office. Oh there was the occasional knock from the store manager or whichever shift lead was on duty, but he was otherwise left alone. It was how he liked it, personally. It was hard to strike conversation with some of the girls or even the stock guys in the back because they'd bring up stuff from before, stuff he still couldn't remember. Finding out his Dad flirted with the cashiers wasn’t a surprise, but they always brought up things he didn’t care to be reminded of. Like when he and Nina would disappear into the back, everyone knowing exactly what they were doing. The idea that they’d been two love struck kids looking to bang every chance they had just seemed like a foreign fucking thing, especially since his only clear memories of her were after he’d woke up and were nothing more than replays of numerous arguments he’d had with her or cold silence. How could that woman claim she’d been so in love with him when she couldn’t stand what he’d become upon waking?

His brow furrowed, eyes narrowing at the paperwork. _She_ was the last bloody person he wanted to think about right now. The fucking bitch had him so fucking stressed out at the moment, he'd probably lay her out if she were standing right in front of him. Well, maybe not, but it would sure be hard as hell to resist the urge. He was still confused about why she suddenly decided she wanted custody back of Ben. This question continued to nag him. It ate at him. She’d run back to her parents with her tail between her legs and this infuriated him even more. Under Daddy’s thumb, just as she was expected to be. Never mind that she’d left behind her own fucking child with no explanation and made no effort to keep in contact with Ben save for one single fucking phone call after nearly three years of no contact. Explain to your son why you ran off! What gave her the fucking right to waltz back in now and take custody away like the last five years never happened? He hoped the magistrate overseeing their case laughed at her and fined her for wasting their time. Pay Alec’s legal fees too while you’re at it. And whatever fucking therapy Ben will need from panicking over this clusterfuck. Just bill the bitch.

Christ, stop thinking about her! You'll go mad if you keep it up. Grumbling to himself, he put his focus back to the task at hand, entering the working hours and leave/holiday hours into the computer. He wasn't the fastest at typing, only learning how to use a keyboard five years ago when he was training to get the position. It was weird that there were all these things he couldn't do because of how he once was, all these things that everyone else seemed to take for granted. Thirty years old when he finally got his driving papers and even then, it had taken numerous doctor reports and other documentation to prove he was no longer a risk behind the wheel. And he continued seeing his doctor, monitoring his progress. Only one seizure in the five years since he had awoken, the tremor in his hands practically gone and he had almost full mobility back to his legs. One leg was still a little numb, but he could walk just fine other than a limp. He would never be able to recover the sight in his left eye, but that was a small price to pay in the long run. He went from being this weak and crippled kid who had accepted his fate to this determined and stubborn man hell bent on proving everyone wrong.

Over time, some bits of pieces of his life prior to the coma came through. Random events came through the fog, sometimes filling the gaps and other times leaving bigger ones. And he had to sometimes make sure what he was remembering was real and not parts of the dream. If they came through crystal clear, it was safe to say they weren’t real. Foggy and not making much sense? Well, probably something real. Most of what came through were mainly from his teen years and some of his young adult years. Childhood was nothing but a blurry mess. The only childhood memories that came through were chilling and confusing. Unbearable physical pain, darkness and water. He knew he was small, though he couldn't say how he knew. And he knew they meant something because when he'd asked his parents about it, the looks on their faces said so much more than their silence. He saw their grief and anger too clearly. But they never elaborated on it, never said a word. Nobody knew what they meant, or at least that’s what they claimed. He knew his parents knew, but they certainly weren’t going to be forthcoming about it. And until they were willing to share, he was left wondering.

From the far corner of the desk, the phone started ringing, the sound nearly making Alec jump out of his skin. Thoughts interrupted, he reached out and grabbed at the phone, cradling the receiver. “Yes?”

“Err....Alec?” It was one of the cashiers up front, a young college aged girl named Lydia. “We have someone here askin' for you, mate. Should I send her down the hall?”

Alec pulled his glasses away, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. A visitor? Other than his parents or maybe Tucker, he rarely got visitors. Could it be Tessie? No, there’d been no plans with her and Tucker. “Is it m’ Mum?”

“No, it's not,” Lydia said. “But she says it's important an' she needs t' talk t' you.”

Alec felt his hand clench down on the receiver. He could take a good guess over who it was. He'd just been sitting here for the last ten minutes telling himself _not_ to think about her. He was pretty sure he knew exactly why she was showing up here. Maybe to talk sense into him since his response to her petition was essential _fuck you_. “Send her back, I s'pose,” he grumbled, hanging up the phone. He watched his office door as he gathered some of the paperwork on his desk and flipped it over. He could hear her step in the hall now. His stomach quaked as the footsteps got closer and closer and he could feel himself breaking into a cold sweat beneath his shirt. The knob moved, the door opening slowly. Alec swallowed hard, watching with wary eyes as Nina stepped through the door, closing it behind her. He regarded her for a moment, scanning her over carefully. “Nina,” he said curtly, tilting the chair back a notch.

“Alec,” she muttered back, unable to meet his gaze briefly. “How are you?” He was actually surprised at how little she’d changed. Still trim and petite, the only major differences being that she’d sheared her hair to her shoulders and the clothing she wore casual but stylish. And probably more than he could afford on his wages.

“Bleedin' spectacular,” he said sharply, uttering a bitter laugh. “Fantastic, even! I work, take care of our boy on me own, barely have any bloody time for m'self, sleep....”

Nina's mouth pursed, her eyes growing hard. “Well, if you considered the offer – ”

“Stop right there,” he snapped, wagging a finger at her. “You can't honestly think you can just waltz back in t' his life like this, snatch him from the only home an' family he's known an' think you're doin' either of us a fuckin' favor.”

“He's my son, too, Alec,” she snapped back. “Do you have any fuckin' idea what it did t' me havin' t' walk 'way like that?” She paused, still scowling at him. “You have no idea!”

“What it did t’ _you_? Am I hearin’ that right?” He stood up from his desk, shaking his head in disbelief. _What this did to her?_ How fucking self centered could one be? “Maybe the better question is what do you think this did t’ Ben! Did that even matter t' you? Disappear for half his bleedin' life an' now you want t' come back an' play Mum?”

“I know I made a mistake,” she said in a low voice, still standing by the door. “I can’t change that. It’s why I’m back now. I want t’ make this right.”

Alec scoffed, not bothering to hide his disgust. “By _takin'_ him from us?”

“He'll have the best of ever'thin', Alec. The best schoolin', the best tutors, his higher education one hundred percent covered. I can provide him a much better life, Alec.”

“With your parents' money,” he said, laughing humorlessly. She’d become her father. Only caring about the money they made and how that made them better. It was laughable that she actually thought her family prestige and money meant they could provide _his son_ with a better life. “He dun' need t' grow up in that kind of family, Nina. Your own father refused t' have an'thin' t' do with you when you made it clear you were keepin' Ben. Your whole family turned their backs on you. My parents took you in. Busted their backs makin' that basement in t' an apartment for you. Why would I want _my_ son brought up in a family of stuck up, pretentious cunts?”

“Who do you think the courts will side with?” she hissed. “I have the money t' back me up. What do you have? A washed up retired rock star for a father, his touched in the head wife an' your weird fuckin’ lil' sister?” Her face cracked into a malicious smile. “An’ what ‘bout your seizure disorder? Your physical impairments? You think you an’ your fucked up family are so much better an’ yet the whole lot of you is one big fuckin’ mess. I’d be doin’ Ben a favor takin’ him outa there.”

Alec rounded the desk, hands clenched, eyes narrowing to slits. “You actually think your precious fuckin' money will help you in this? You think it makes you better? You think my past issues make me unfit? Tell me ‘gain, who got legal fuckin’ custody, bitch? Go ‘head, I’ll wait.”

She drew back a step, but he could see her looking him over and sizing him up. “My dad is willin' t' help me fight this as long as I need t',” she said in a low voice, matching glares. “We have the money t' keep this goin'....you dun'.”

He took another step closer, almost smiling when she cringed back against the door. Taking a deep breath, he shook his head. “The closest I'm willin' t' bend on is weekend visits. _That's it_. You dun’ deserve an’more than that until Ben is old ‘nough t’ decide how often he wants t’ see you.”

“I want custody, Alec,” she hissed. She was bristling now. Ready to lose that careful control she was struggling to maintain. He wasn’t backing down and she didn’t like that. “I want him back in my care,” she whispered icily. “As it should have been from the beginnin'. I'm willin' to accommodate once a month visits for you an' him on the estate property. It’s a good offer an’ more than you’d get via an’ judge.”

“You're fuckin' mental, woman,” he cackled, shaking his head. “What medications are you takin'?”

Nina kept her eyes locked with his and he could almost feel her resolve cracking. Probably made her remember why she decided she couldn't stand the sight of him anymore. Remembering that he wasn’t a pushover and he wasn’t going to back down. Remembering that he’d changed and he’d never ever be like that weak and pathetic man he once was. When she finally spoke, her voice came out in a shaky whisper. “You know I can provide the better life for him, Alec.”

“Depends on what your definition of _better life_ is,” he said, still glaring at her. “A different life, I'm sure, but hardly _better_ , Nina.” He took a step back, looking her over, trying to gauge every movement and twitch. Standing here arguing wasn’t going to accomplish a damned thing. She certainly had some balls showing up at his work but he’d sort that out later. “So what changed in your life, Nina?” It was the nagging question, right? The big mystery. “Why do you pop up now, after five fuckin' years, an' think you can take my boy from me?”

Nina's mouth went taut, her eyes icy. “Nothin'.”

“Liar,” he retorted. “Somethins' goin' on. Somethin' you're not tellin' me. What changed? Your father badgered you t’ get rid of Ben an’ even tried t’ have Children’s Services take him ‘way. What made Trevor suddenly decide he wanted t’ know his grandson?”

A sigh erupted from her, her eyes dropping to the floor. “I'm gettin' married. My fiance found a pic of Ben by accident an' wanted t' know who the boy was. He said he couldn't fathom marryin' a woman who didn't have custody of her child, said it would look bad....”

“Well of course it looks bad, considerin' you walked out on him,” Alec said icily. “So none of this has an'thin' t' do with actually carin' 'bout the boy? You're just tryin' t' look good for some bloke?”

She stiffened, scowling at him as she spoke. “My father supports the marriage, Alec. It will mean a lot for him an' his colleagues.....”

“Ah, okay.....so he's a _loaded_ bloke?” He stood in front of his desk, staring around the clutter until he spotted his pack of cigarettes. “So, let's clarify here....This has nothin' t' do with you actually _carin'_ 'bout Ben or realizin' you fucked up royal, but all because you're a _gold diggin' slag_ who is more concerned 'bout getting that fat bank roll crammed up your twat... Am I close 'nough? Do I get a cookie?”

Nina's mouth dropped open, flapping uselessly. “You're a fuckin' asshole!” she snarled.

“Yeah, yeah, tell me somethin' I dun' know.....Like father, like son, yeah?” He skirted the desk, stopping mere feet from her, his face cracking into a malicious grin. Reaching a hand out, he nudged her aside and grabbed the door, pulling it open. “Now, I'm goin' on break. I think our meetin' is done, dun' you?”

She pushed her way through the door, half stammering under her breath as she rummaged through her purse. “You coulda made this easier on yourself, Alec....Guess we'll see each other in court then?” Had to give her props for her confidence. She seemed to really think she stood a snowball’s chance in hell of actually gaining some footing in this. Well, being a wealthy stuck up cunt will do that to people. Seeing everyone around her as a potential advancement. Shouldn’t come as a surprise that she was using Ben only as a means to an end.

She was still babbling at him as she all but ran down the hallway. Hurling insults and whatever other condemnations she could pull from her arse. He leaned against the wall in the narrow hallway, tapping a cigarette against the pack in his hand, watching as she rushed down the hallway. “I can't wait t' see you in court, you lil' slag. Go 'head an' bring in your money, your daddy an' your clueless lil' fiance....By the time you walk outa that court room, you'll wish you'd never fuckin' met me.”


	21. Lost in the Echoes

He hung suspended in the darkness around him, vaguely aware of the cold that penetrated his skin down to his bones. He opened his mouth to scream, the sound dying at his lips, the world around him stifling and suffocating. Flailing in the darkness, he looked around frantically, trying in vain to figure out which way he should move. Far above him, the sky rippled, the sun flickering in his vision. Slices of light pierced through the darkness around him, only reflecting what appeared to be nothing more than a murkiness that still gave him nothing to indicate where he was. This alarmed him, caused him to flail about more, his mouth open in a silent scream, the cold making it hurt, making his muscles weak. It became more and more difficult to keep himself from sinking down, the light above moving further out of his reach. Enveloped in darkness, the rippling light above little more than flickers above him now. Closing his eyes, he relaxed his body, accepting whatever fate awaited him from there, no longer caring about the cold or the pain. Limp and calm, floating in the nothing as he went further and further down.

He was being pushed upward. Alec's eyes snapped open, only dully noting that the darkness was lifting and he was moving closer and closer towards the light. His head broke through the rippling surface and he found himself staring around at water, the taste of salt now on his lips, distant boats moored at the docks down the way. It was overcast, the wind chilling against his exposed head and partially exposed shoulders. From behind him, he could hear voices. Familiar voices. He turned eagerly, ready to swim towards them, ready to scream for joy at the sight of them. Over on the rocky shore, he spotted his parents, huddled together and talking in excited and pained voices. At least he thought it was his parents. Both of them remarkably young, his father's hair jet black with only streaks of silver, his mother's hair a dark brown. And between them, rattling away at them through his tears was a little boy. Alec inched closer, narrowing his eyes at the small child who was crushed between them, at the boy's battered face and soiled pajamas. What was he seeing? What was going on? He couldn’t make out what they were saying, but he could hear the tears in his mother’s voice. The child peered over Murdoc's shoulder, his green eyes locking with Alec's. “Go back,” he said, his voice a mere whisper, but the sound right at Alec's ear. Alec jerked back, staring at the three of them in confusion. The child clung to Murdoc's shoulders, shaking his head. “Go back further.” Alec opened his mouth to holler at them. If he could get their attention, they might be able to make sense of all this, right? He continued to flail around on the water’s surface, his voice not rising beyond a hoarse whisper, his voice box useless. They couldn’t hear him. Couldn’t see him.

Something about the water disturbed him. Fog rolling in, obscuring the boats, obscuring his parents, cloaking everything in murky grey. Alec felt himself pulled back down, enclosed in the cold and darkness again, his scream nothing more than muffled sound and bubbles. He thrashed in the depths, struggling to reach the shimmering surface above, more dying screams when the light disappeared and nothing but darkness surrounded him. The pressure was building in his ears, in his head. He spun around in the darkness, feeling the chill in his bones and his body struggling to take in a lungful of air. Movement from somewhere towards the shore caught his attention and he found himself now staring at his father swimming frantically under the water, shooting through the depths as if life depended on it. Several feet ahead of him was a cooler of some sort, entwined in netting and rocks. Murdoc was catching the netting with his fingers, tearing at it frantically as the weighed cooler pulled him deeper and deeper into a watery grave, his face twisted and teeth bared in his determination to get to the contents of the cooler. The netting ripped away, slipping off the cooler and plummeting from the weight of the rocks. Murdoc fumbled at the latch, pulling the lid open with enough force to snap the hinges, other hand reaching into it and grabbing at the contents. Pure darkness enveloped him. He could hear noises just outside of the darkness, scraping and thumping. He felt crushed in this darkness, his knees now folded up against him. Slice of light coming through, movement flicking, fingers...a hand.

“Not here.....further,” whispered the child's voice.

With a jerk, Alec felt himself ripped downwards, flailing once again and no longer in that tight dark space. No longer any sign of his father or that mystery cooler. The water was gone, a room coming into view as he crashed hard into a pile of dirty rags, groaning against a pain that traveled from his head and down to his legs. His head hurt, his mouth hurt, his ribs, his arms, even his feet. Every bone and muscle, every inch of his skin. Groaning, he rolled on the dirty and musty pile of what he realized were blankets. The room was narrow, damp and icy. In the darkness, he could make out the silhouettes of a table and two chairs. At the far side of the room, maybe a few yards away, he recognized the shape of a cooler. The room seemed massive to him, though it was clear it wasn’t. A battered vending machine towered over him, even the table and chairs a few yards away seemed insanely huge. His mind was working, trying to piece together everything he was seeing. The kid kept saying to “Go back”. Shaking his head, he frowned, unseen in the darkness. His parents on the shore, the little kid with them. His face black and blue, one eye nearly swollen shut, his lip swollen. His Dad in the water, trying in vain to cut through the netting that held the cooler, uncaring about his reddened face as his lungs fought to get air, determined to get to the cooler and get to what's inside or die trying. And now he was in this room, cold and hurting. And through the pain, all he kept thinking about was how much he wanted his Mumma and Da, fearful that he'd never see them again. The thoughts didn't make sense to him. What was going on that out of everything, his only conscious thought was his parents? Why wasn’t he thinking about a way out of this? Fucking hell, his head hurt so much. Felt thick and the pain made him feel like his brain was pulsing within his skull in an effort to escape its confines. Yet through all this pain, this cold and the numbness he could feel in his hands, all he could think about was his parents. Find him. Rescue him. Get him out of here.

A dark shadow moved at the door, the room filling with bright light, piercing through to his brain. The shadowy figure said something, their words making no sense. He let out a moan, curling within himself, feeling the tears rise as all the unfamiliar pain and emotions raged through him. He wanted to wake up! Get him out of this hell! He peered up through a sweaty and dirty veil of dark hair, the shadowy figure bending low to examine him more closely. It said something again, the words still garbled and unintelligible. Shaking his head, Alec buried his face into the crook of his arm, feeling the tears fall. The shadowy figure fell silent, everything fell silent. Alec pricked his ears, dully aware that all the weird noises of the room were gone. No dripping pipe, no sounds of the building settling, no sound of vermin hidden away in the corner. The pain itself was also gone, now replaced with fear and confusion. He lifted his head slowly, seeing the room around him still. His ears were ringing and ringing bad. So loud within his head. He blinked, gazing around, his fingers clutching at the blankets a moment.

The blow hit him broadside, knocking him over with a cry. He froze in place, trying desperately to recover as the blow came again. Struggling to raise himself up as another blow hit his stomach with enough force to knock the wind from him. Dazed feeling, pain everywhere. He scrambled back to escape the invisible assault, feeling phantom fingers clutch at his hair and haul him upright as another blow came into his face, his chest. When his voice came out, it wasn't the deep and grated voice of a man, but the high pitched wails of a small child, his hands flinging up in an effort to protect himself from the phantom assault. More blows to his stomach, his lungs still struggling in vain to suck in much needed air. Blows to his head. The room was going fuzzy, fading out. The invisible attacker flung him back, his head and body hitting the wall with such force, he could feel consciousness slipping away from him, the darkness welcoming.

The room disappeared completely. He was floating in a sea of black once again, confused and uncertain of what all this meant. It was important, wasn't it? This all meant something, right? He found his voice, calling out into the darkness in the hopes that he would be heard. The stasis was brief, his body now falling through the darkness. Alec jerked his arms out, trying desperately to catch hold of something, anything that could stop the fall. Rocketing downward in pitch black nothingness, his voice dying at his lips even though he could hear his screams in his head. His fall was abruptly cut short as he slammed down into a bed, his eyes staring upwards at the ceiling, every muscle and organ trembling in his terror. The bed was small, cartoon character bedding. As the narrow little room came into view, he realized quickly it was a child's room. He knew this room! He recognized it! At the far side was a dresser with a little telly perched on it. Beside the bed was the little bedside table with the Lightening McQueen lamp. Lightening McQueen! His favorite character from the movie _Cars_! Wait.....he liked _Cars_? How old was he here? What the hell was so important and significant about all of this? From outside his room, he could hear nothing. Just silence. He looked around frantically, trying carefully to fill in the gaps. This had been his bedroom at the holiday house. The place he’d seen photos of himself standing by or in. This was the Seattle townhouse, wasn’t it? His Mum’s home town. A city he could no longer remember. A city they had never returned to. The townhouse nothing more than images in old photographs of another time. The time before, his parents sometimes called it. Pictures of him standing near the house or even running. A normal little boy having fun.

The floor creaked over by his closet, the door opening with a low squeak as a shadowy figure moved towards him. The shadow figure had climbed onto the bed over him. Something damp with a weird taste was pressed to his mouth, the shadow figure pressing down hard. The shadow figure was practically on top of him, holding the cloth to his face. He couldn’t breathe. He could barely move. The shadow figure was resting on him in a way to keep his legs and arms restrained. He could hear his voice through the cloth, the same high pitched child’s voice. With each struggling breath, he could feel the numbness spreading through his limbs, making him weak, his head filling with cotton. He looked up with wide and terror filled eyes, at the shadow figure that loomed over him, nothing but a dark mass, unfamiliar and without gender. Tears sprang to his eyes, falling down his face as he clawed and bucked beneath the thing that had him restrained, feeling his body betray him, growing weaker and weaker, his bladder emptying itself in his body's panic. The taste in his mouth was bitter, the cotton in his head building and building, the pressure behind his eyes almost painful. But the darkness was peaceful. At least the pain was gone, right? It took him a long moment to realize his feet were planted firmly onto the ground. He was standing, his arms hanging limply at his sides. The room that came into view was now recognized as his room back at the London cottage, only different. It seemed enormous to him suddenly. He knew the room, knew it was not a big room. And instead of the few framed art pieces on the walls, the stereo in the corner and some of Ben’s scattered toys, he was now seeing his own toys, action figures, posters. On the bed was a plush puppy and thick little blanket. His room, as it once was. A room he bareley remembered. A child's room.

From down below, he could hear unfamiliar noises. Frowning at the floor, he moved towards the door with light and careful steps, reaching for the doorknob. The hand that appeared on the knob was small and round, like that of a small child's. Trembling and uncoordinated as it turned the knob and pulled the door open. Slipping from the room and out into the hallway, he peered around the narrow hall, amazed at the difference in décor. The photos that adorned the walls were mostly of his parents and himself. No sign of Amy, no sign of Tessie or any of his friends. He descended the stairs quickly, barely making a sound when he hit the bottom landing and pausing at the foot of the stairs. The kitchen was off to his left and from what he could see, it was dark and abandoned. He wandered through the kitchen and foyer, pausing in the lounge and looking around. The big flat screen was on, but it was muted, casting a flickering glow in the darkened room. He turned away and went back to the sitting room, pausing right at the stairs. He could hear something. Super faint, but he was definitely hearing something.

The noises were coming from the basement doorway by the stairs. He peered up at the door, seeing the eyelet and padlock were opened and hanging uselessly from the wall. The door was closed but not locked. How did he know to check up there? Had he known there was a top lock? And why was such a lock on the door? He approached the door slowly, listening carefully. The noises he was hearing were coming from the other side of the door. Turning the knob, he pulled the door open slowly, seeing the silhouette of someone sitting on the steps, the outline giving away enough for him to realize it was his Dad. Down at the bottom of the steps, in the basement, he could hear his Mum talking, something cruel and cold in her tone. “....it will not quicken your death or make it any less painful....” He opened the door further, peering down into the depths of the basement, seeing his mother as she circled something, a blade clutched in her hand, the blade glistening with something dark and thick. The hunched over figure of his Dad moved, straightening up and turning. Alec sucked in a breath, drawing back quickly and closing the door without a sound. What was all of this! What the fuck did this all mean?

 _It’s your Dad who is bad. He hurt people_. He shook his head against the strange and vaguely familiar voice. A woman’s voice. Something yanked him back, the door pulling back farther and farther, disappearing from view as everything seemed to move in reverse, flickers of events and memories that made no sense to him. A plane ride, water, the dark room, the townhouse, vast skyscrapers and city skylines, his Mum, his Dad, Stuart and even Noodle, a broken guitar, a ripped picture. Move forward again, the skyscrapers......what was their significance? A huge and vast city. The row of townhomes on a hill. The unfamiliar child's bedroom with the _Cars_ décor. Fleeting and flickering around him, gone before he could make sense of them, circling around him before spiraling into more darkness. He remained in place, suspended in the darkness as if he were floating. He could see light in the distance, the darkness receding as he slammed down hard onto his rump.

Bright fluorescent lights above him, surrounded by what he initially thought was a cage. He reached out and grabbed the metal bars, soon realizing he was sitting in a shopping buggy. Sunshine coming through the big windows directly to his right, but clouds could be seen. He looked around, spotting him Mum towering over him as she browsed the foodstuffs lined up on the shelves. Picking some things he wrinkled his nose at. He asked about a treat. The same high pitched voice. Echoing in his head. He wasn’t even sure his lips moved. Mum was shaking her head, telling him no treat because he’d kept bugging her about it. But he wanted a treat! Dad got treats all the time and he wanted a treat too! Another voice came from just behind them, the same female voice he’d heard echoing before the darkness. He turned, looking at at a pretty and very tall woman approaching them. Little girl face with white blond hair. He recognized her, didn’t he? In his dream reality he remembered seeing someone like her, but had been told she didn’t exist. She was speaking to his Mum but his Mum was on the defensive, keeping her between him and the strange woman. More words passed between them. Unpleasant words. Mum was taking him out of the brightly lit store and into the car park. The strange tall lady with the white blond hair was following them. Mum was furious with her. He was thrust into the car as his Mum continued to yell at her. He remembered her eyes. Pretty blue eyes. Eyes that were the color of the sky.

Alec felt his body slam against the bed, staring at the narrow walls of that unfamiliar little bedroom with the _Cars_ décor. The shadow figure was over him, taking shape now. White blond hair, her round girlish face twisted in determination, her hand pressed painfully over his mouth, the weird and bitter tasting cloth biting against his lips. Her blue eyes focused on him and him only. The bedroom vanished and he was now back in the dark room, the attacker become more and more clear, taking shape. The white blond hair that got tangled between them as her hands came down hard into his body and head, her sky blue eyes nothing but icy slits as her foot came out and connected with his stomach, his air now gone. The white blond hair that concealed some of her face as she lifted him up and carried him across the room, her sky blue eyes welling with tears as she slowly let him slide into a confined space, like a box of some kind, the lid coming down even as he croaked out whimpered protests. The images spun around him as if caught on some fast forwarding reel, spinning before him, each image becoming more and more clear. And with each flickering image he could see the girlish face with the massive sky blue eyes clearly now. Alec made a noise, shaking his head. There was no way. No fucking way. How could it be? She was real. She existed. Someone his Mum had known. Her name...her name had been Alicia. He remembered her, remembered her place in his dream reality. His Mum’s best mate. He’d been told she didn’t exist. Told she’d been a figment of his imagination. They lied to him. Alicia existed. She was real.

A brilliant white flash illuminated the room, blinding him. Too bright, burning his eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut against it, still seeing the light through the darkness behind his eyelids. The lady with the white blond hair was gone, the entire world was gone and with a jolt, he found himself slammed back to that basement door, the room now empty and dark. He was still young, the doorway enormous around him. Flicking on the light, he crept down the stairs, the stench assaulting his senses. Each scent known from instinct. The metallic scent of blood, the pungent scent of body odor and on top of it all, the smell of fear. The basement opened up, revealing a room he was unfamiliar with. Utility hooks on the walls, items hanging at random places. A riding crop, a whip with multiple leather strips, various items of bondage. The table that lay in the center of the room had restraints secured at the corners, its surface smeared with small pools of something dark. A workbench at the far wall was littered with various small tools, the same dark something slowly dripping from the edge. Alec moved towards the workbench, unconscious of the fact that his face only came up just to the table's surface, peering over the edge at the tools. A mallet, a knife, what appeared to be a saw. And towards the end, something shiny caught his attention. Moving towards it, he noted the jar. Closer and closer, reaching up and grabbing the jar, realizing something was within. The inside had that same dark something, now sticking and tacky on the sides of the glass jar. At the bottom, still glistening moist and shining, a pair of sky blue eyes stared back at him. He let out a cry, dropping the jar back to the workbench's surface, stumbling backwards. He knew those eyes, frozen in his memory now. Her eyes, narrowed in her rising fury. Her eyes, wide with concern as she cradled him in her arms before locking him away in the darkness. Her eyes that stared at him as he fought against the rag on his mouth. Her eyes now staring at him from within a mason jar in his parents’ basement.

The lights fell dim, the smell of the blood and sweat overpowering. He could hear sobbing, choking and garbled sounds and then his mother's voice, just barely above a whisper: “ _After everything we've been through, Ali.....Makes me rather sad that this is how it officially ends between us_.”

He slammed hard into his bed, his eyes snapping open and wide, heart thundering in his chest. With a whine, he threw himself upright, panting and gasping. He was soaked in sweat, his hair drenched and dripping into his eyes. Alec swiped at his face and hair, his entire body trembling. He stared around the bedroom, recognizing the simplicity of his room in the flat that he and Ben shared. Familiar surroundings that brought immediate comfort. Home. No longer caught in that nightmare dreamscape. Pushing himself to his feet, he allowed his mind to wander, picking apart the nightmare memories. Alicia was the one responsible for his disabilities. Alicia had taken him from his very bed while his parents slept mere feet away. Alicia had hurt him. Alicia had tried to kill him. His parents had gotten him back and had unleashed a vengeance onto the woman. But his Mum and her had been mates, yeah? That was why he remembered her in the dream reality. They’d been mates. And when he’d asked about her upon waking, his Mum told him he'd imagined her. His Dad told him he'd imagined her. She didn’t exist, but she did! She had indeed existed and his parents had tried to erase her from the story because of what she’d done.

Stumbling from his room, he veered down the hall to the narrow little kitchen, his laptop sitting on the counter. With shaking hands, he pulled the screen up and waited impatiently as it powered up. He opened the icebox, grabbing a beer and uncapping it, slugging it down with a few gulps. Turning back to the narrow little notebook, he smiled when he saw that everything was up and ready to go. He pulled up the search browser, tacking away on the keyboard. He entered in what information he could think of: _missing woman Alicia Seattle, Washington_. Clicking search, the results popped up within a few seconds, various articles from some of the local Washington state papers. _Local Woman's Disappearance Still Leaves Police Mystified_ , _Disappearance of Two Women Possibly Linked Together_ , _Woman Missing; Police Suspect Foul Play_. Alec scanned down the page, narrowing his eyes. At the bottom of the page, he spotted a name, clicking on it. His eyes grew wide, watching as the photo loaded and the stats came up. A missing person's profile. And the person in the picture, smiling back at him, was unmistakably her. White blond, girlish face that always looked so bizarre on her tall and lanky body, smiling broadly at the camera, her blue eyes seeming to bore into him. Those very same eyes. Alicia Ivy Hunter, age 37, missing since September 20 2015 from Seattle, Washington. Last seen as she finished her shift at work. But it wasn't the information that left him frozen, staring at the screen with his mouth agape. There, standing beside Alicia in the photo, also smiling, was his mother.


	22. Bar Flies

Christ, the steps were cold beneath his arse. Uncomfortable as fuck, too, but this was the only safe area he could sit and smoke a cigarette as he waited for the outcome. Why did these things have to be closed door hearings, anyway? Murdoc's lip curled from his teeth into a sneer, exhaling loudly and watching the smoke swirl around him with mild amusement. He wanted to be in there. He _should_ be in there. If anything, so Alec knew he had support. Even though they were all confident that things would go completely in his favor, there was still the lingering fear that the slag's money and status would sway the judges involved. It occurred to Murdoc that twenty-five, thirty years ago, Alec probably wouldn't have stood a chance. Nina could have been absent since the boy's birth and the courts would have still ruled in her favor with Alec being at her mercy to even talk to the boy. Things were better now, he had to thank the universe for that. More and more men were given just as equal standing when it came to child custody, the courts no longer automatically siding with the mother. And just to be on the safe side, Alec had come prepared with every scrap of documentation proving that he'd been the sole provider for Ben as well as the original documents that gave him sole legal custody. And with that sole custody, the authority to dictate any visitation he was willing to extend to Nina. And Alec had been more than willing to allow visitation. But Nina wanted all or nothing. Either give her custody and abide by her once a month visitation idea or fight in court and be lucky if he got a phone call.

Climbing unsteadily to his feet, Murdoc stretched, a massive yawn erupting from him. It was still bloody early. Even if he was awake at this time, he usually spent the next hour laying in the bed, half dozing and half contemplating molesting Hailey, who was usually still asleep beside him. Sometimes he went back to sleep and other times he’d reach over and grab a handful of tit. He absently wondered if Hailey was thinking the same thing back home. They'd both gotten up early so Alec could drop off Ben and Murdoc could tag along with Alec to the courthouse in the city. The drive to the city had been jovial and Alec had even cracked a few jokes along the way. There was even talk about all of them going for dinner later. Such a far cry from the stressed out mess he’d been just weeks ago. It was difficult to not feel happy. Confidence was oozing from everyone. They had it in the bag, didn't they? Not a chance in hell Nina would get full custody, not after being completely absent from the boy's life since he was just a tot. They were prepared for the courts to modify the custody order giving her more liberal access to Ben without Alec interfering, but that would most likely be the most the courts would be willing to give. And it could easily be baby steps for her. Supervised access or day access only before moving on to any kind of overnight situation.

From up above at the doors, he heard what sounded like two men bickering, one of the voices familiar enough to bring a smile to his face. Turning, he cracked a crooked grin, seeing Nina's father, Trevor, standing in front of the main entrance. He was bickering with the officer of the court about how they had no right to kick him out, his daughter needed him in there, he had legal expertise, and whatever other bullshit he seemed to be pulling from his arse. It had been years and years since he'd clapped eyes on the man and it was clear that time had not been kind to him. His wispy blondish hair was now even thinner and a glowing white, his eyes sunken back even more behind loose folds of skin. Christ, he'd aged bad. Murdoc knew that time hadn't been any kinder to him, but this man looked like father time had bitch slapped him with Big Ben himself. Grinning, Murdoc watched with great amusement as the court officer ushered him from the doors, gruffly reminding him that he was to stay out of the proceedings until done. The door slammed shut, Trevor lingering on the step muttering and cursing. Murdoc flicked away the cigarette, laughing. “What's the matter, Trev? Precious lil' girl losin' her case?”

“Dun’ you know when t’ bugger off, Niccals?” Trevor growled, his eyes on Murdoc as he continued up the steps towards him. “Your son is pullin' all the punches, makin' Nina look like the worst mother ever.”

“Hate t' break it t' you, Trev, but as far as we're concerned, she _is_ the worst Mum ever,” Murdoc laughed, stopping a few steps from him. “Your daughter did a shit thin', mate, an' you know it. No 'mount of money or material shit will make up for what she did t' Ben. An’ do we need t’ remind you that you tried t’ have Ben taken ‘way from her when he was just a wee baby? Amazed you care so much ‘bout her an’ his well bein’ now.”

“An' your son is such a saint, right?” Trevor snapped, flashing Murdoc a venomous look. If Murdoc didn’t know any better, he’d say the old muppet was sizing him up. Not sure what for seeing they were both old as dirt now. Trevor shook his head, casting a glance at the heavy wooden doors of the courthouse. “Treats Nina like rubbish, personality changed so much, they break up....an' then has the audacity t' try an' dictate how often she can see her own son?”

Murdoc's smile vanished, the heavy lines in his face growing darker and heavier as his face melted into a deep frown. “News flash, mate, but your daughter expected him t' go back t' bein' a passive pushover an' he'd have none of it. An' considerin' the fact that Nina's been non-existent in Ben's life for the last five years, I think the offer of every other weekend was quite generous. She should thank the universe an’ whatever deities exist that he was willin' t' give her that much!”

“An' how exactly can Nina expect t' fix this broken relationship if your son doesn't give a little, Niccals?” Trevor demanded.

Murdoc lit another cigarette, shrugging his shoulders with a grunt. “Dunno, man, maybe your lil' gold digger shoulda thought of that before she abandoned her son. There’s a thought.”

Trevor clenched his hands into fists, exhaling loudly in the late morning air. This was probably the most conversation the two of them have had in years and if the old coot wanted to have a few verbal spars, Murdoc was more than happy to have a go. He’d dance circles around him just as he’d done when they’d first met. A strange smile spread across Trevor’s face as he glared down at Murdoc. “Yeah, Niccals, let's talk 'bout abandonin' kids,” he said through a sneer. “How many do you have 'gain that you never met?”

Murdoc peered up at him, cocking an eyebrow. “Nice shot, Trev,” he chuckled. “But this isn't 'bout me, mate. This is 'bout your darlin' lil' gold digger, yeah? Can’t abandon what you didn’t know you had. B’sides, there's a difference between never meetin' 'em an' raisin' 'em for five bloody years before takin' off.”

“I dun' see much difference, Niccals,” Trevor growled, attempting to move down the walkway along the building, huffing loudly when he realized the other man was starting to follow. He glared at Murdoc over his shoulder. “Dun’ you have an'thin' better t' do?”

“Not really,” Murdoc laughed, climbing the last two steps to the walkway where Trevor stood. “I'm old an' I'm bored. Can’t be home t’ paw on Hailey an’ as much as I'd love t' give m' boy or your lil' gold digger a ration of shit, they're not here at the moment. An’ quite frankly, you're more fun.”

Uttering a noise of disgust, Trevor scrubbed his hands against his face. “Christ, Murdoc, grow the bloody hell up!” It was almost comical at how uptight this fool was. He was trying so hard to put distance between them, huffing and muttering when he glanced over and saw Murdoc still casually walking behind him.

“Growin' up's over-rated, mate,” Murdoc said, cracking a smile. “Especially if it means turnin' in t' a pretentious, uptight tosser who'd have a stroke if he cut a fart. Gotta enjoy life, Trev. How the hell did you make it this far without droppin' dead from a heart attack, mate?”

“It's called responsibility,” Trevor huffed, glaring over at him. “Somethin' you spent most of your life avoidin', if I remember correctly.”

“Not even close, man!” Murdoc snickered, flicking his cigarette away. “I was simply in no hurry t' settle down. Got it outa m’ system first. Just admit it, Trev, you're jealous of the fact that I was able t' do all the thins' you wanted t' do, but couldn't. Too busy suckin' the fun outa your life.”

“Jealous?” Trevor barked, eyebrows soaring to his thinning hairline. “Jealous! Just what the bloody hell am I supposed t' be jealous of, Niccals? You were a bed-hoppin' junkie until you met your wife. An' even after you met her an' settled, you still acted like an overgrown child! The fact that Hailey's put up with you an' your shenanigans for over thirty years just 'stounds me, man! You should count yourself lucky, Niccals. Any other woman woulda kicked your arse t' the curb decades 'go.”

Murdoc lit another cigarette, smirking at him. “Eugh.....what can I say, Trev? She can't get 'nough of the eight inches I'm packin'. It's a nice trade off, really. She takes care of me an' our kids an' in exchange for her services, I fuck her senseless. Best business ‘rangement ever!”

Trevor let out a scoffing noise, his face twisting in disgust. “You're revoltin', you know that? I dun' see how that's even possible now, old man. Break each others hips tryin'.”

“Just because you can't get your shit t' work dun' mean you can trash on us, Trev,” Murdoc chuckled, checking his watch before shoving his hands into his jean pockets. “Look, man, I can do this all day with you. Wanna take this down the road a bit t' the pub? I bet twenty pounds your over-privileged tongue won't work so well after a few pints, mate.”

Glancing down at his watch, Trevor frowned. “It's barely eleven in the mornin'.....”

“An' your point is?” Murdoc turned, descending the stairs slowly. “I've cracked bottles open before dawn, mate. Eleven is happy hour!” Richards irritated the piss out of him, but at least he was guaranteed some level of entertainment while they waited for their kids to get through this court nonsense. Besides, he was thirsty and if he planned on continuing this war of words, he wanted something to wet the whistle. They still had at least a good hour or more before Alec and Nina were finished and he was bored out of his bloody skull. A few pints should hold him over nicely. Mumbling under his breath, he cast a glance over his shoulder, grunting in surprise when he realized that Trevor was actually following him. “Well, I reckon it's your funeral, mate,” he chuckled softly, unheard by the other man trailing several yards behind him.

“Where's Ben, an'way?” Trevor called out from behind him as he struggled to keep up.

“Home with Hailey,” Murdoc grunted, slowing his pace so Trevor could catch up. “Probably watchin' a _Transformers_ marathon or somethin'. They both adore that rubbish. Hailey owns all the bloody films. She’s team Optimus Prime, whoever the hell that is.” Stopping at an intersection, Murdoc gestured across the street at a low slung brick building sandwiched between two taller buildings. “I pop by here from time t' time with Stu. Drinks are reasonable an' the wait staff will leave you be if you ask.”

Trevor kept glancing at the shorter man as they waited for the light. Murdoc kept his eyes forward, paying no attention to the man’s flittering stares and mostly preoccupied over whether he wanted a good lager or if shots were in order. No, too early for shots. Gave him heartburn nowadays anyway. A nice frothy pint of some good dark brew would definitely go down well. His passive expression folded into a scowl as the cars continued to cruise through. He hated this intersection. Took too bloody long. Trevor lingered beside him, checking his watch and doing whatever you do when you don’t know what to say. This was fine. Get a few brews into the muppet and see how well that tongue wagged, eh? Might prove to be a bit more enlightening than Murdoc anticipated. Ooh, get some good dirt on them and their lil’ Gold Digger! Alec had told him it had something to do with a rich bloke she’d hooked up with. Something to do with the man finding a picture of Ben. So she hadn’t even acknowledged her son and tried to keep him a secret? He felt himself scowling as traffic slowed. Just made him dislike Nina even more. Abandoned Ben and then acted as if she’d never had a child? Only admits to having one after getting caught?

The light finally changed and the signal across the street flashed at them to start walking. Murdoc darted ahead, hearing Trevor make a surprised noise before following suit. Trevor was still a few paces behind him as they casually walked down the crosswalk and reached the other side of the street. Murdoc had to sometimes thank the universe that he was still pretty spry and light on his feet. A lot of men his age couldn’t move that quickly. Hell, even Trevor seemed to have trouble keeping up with him and ol’ Trev was several years younger than Hailey. He lit himself another cigarette as he strolled down the sidewalk towards the little pub, the signage now faded from time. If you looked close enough, you could just see the picture of the medieval unicorn.

The Cloven Hoof had been standing now for the better part of five decades. Murdoc had popped in on and off in his younger years but became a regular some years after returning to England and settling into the little cottage just outside the city. It wasn’t far from a little shop that Stu and Noodle had run for years. Murdoc had been surprised the place was still standing because it had been a dark and dreary hole in the wall even way back when. Couldn’t really knock it though because it did offer up reasonable pricing for their brews and most of the patronage inside had left them alone. He and Stu had become regulars, though they did come a bit less frequently after Stu and Noodle sold off the shop in order to retire.

He paused just outside the doors long enough to stub out his cigarette and toss it into the bin. Sauntering through the doors, he could hear Trevor cautiously walking behind him as numerous eyes darted in their direction. Ignoring the questioning stares, he turned towards the bar counter. “Barkeep!” he barked, arm raised. “Two lagers at the back table, mate!” He moved through the tables and few bodies that occupied them, laying claim to a wall table towards the corner. Trevor sat down across from him, watching him with wary eyes. Murdoc said nothing, hands folded on the table, waiting patiently for his beer. “Figured we could start with somethin' mild for now,” he chuckled. “From there, we can move on t' somethin' stronger.”

“So, tell me 'gain why we're here, Niccals?” Trevor asked, unsure of what to make of the man's smile. “I'm not entirely sure what you hope t' accomplish here.....” If Murdoc didn’t know any better, he’d say the man was trying to study him and figure him out. Well good luck with all that, mate. Loads of people tried to figure him out, Trevor wasn’t anything special. They’d butted heads since the moment they met and Trevor hadn’t once tried to get to really know Murdoc. If he had, he might have found out they weren’t complete polar opposites.

“We had a wager, yeah?” Murdoc asked with wide eyes and a sloppy grin. “I bet you twenty pounds you wouldn't be able t' keep your mouth straight after a few rounds.” He flashed a smile at the barkeep as their glasses were put in front of them. “We can stand outside the court lookin' like a couple of squabblin' biddies or we can come down here an' hash it out like the men we are.”

Trevor took a sip from his glass, the bite of the alcohol and hops making him take pause before tipping the glass back and draining a third of it. Oh, good, he discovered the greatness of a delicious brew. Bit surprising at how quickly he drained his glass. Could be the relaxing atmosphere. Trevor licked the foam from his lips before setting the glass down, his eyes now fixed on Murdoc. “What's there t' hash out exactly, Murdoc?” he asked. “We both know where we stand on this, yeah?”

Murdoc shrugged, taking a drink from his own glass, draining over half. “Well, we can start with why you raised such a tart for a daughter who decided t’ run off on her kid.”

“I didn't raise a bloody tart, Murdoc!” Trevor protested, taking another drink. “Your son turned in t' a lil' arsehole, if I remember correctly.”

A crooked smile curled onto Murdoc's face as he swirled the beer in his glass, watching it. “Kid's been through a lot, Trev, you can’t deny that. Nina should be thankful he woke up an arsehole. He coulda woke up a complete ponce, mate. An' why does that matter? At least Alec has an excuse for turnin' in t' a prat. What excuse does Nina have?” He wanted to hear what Trevor’s excuse would be for her. He could absolutely understand her not wanting to continue the relationship due to Alec’s drastic personality changes, but what excuse could there possibly be for leaving without a word and abandoning the son they had together?

Trevor drained the rest of his glass, wiping at his mouth. “Tryin' t' rebuild her life the way it shoulda been,” he said, gesturing at the barkeep to bring more. “Utilizin' the education I paid for, establishin' herself within our community, findin' a suitable partner t' settle down with....” He fell silent when the barkeep appeared beside their table, setting two fresh glasses before them. “The man's she's engaged t' is a good lad, Murdoc. He will be able t' provide both Nina an' Ben the life they're entitled t'....Ben will get ever'thin' handed t' him. Want for nothin'...”

Murdoc shook his head, a low noise erupting from him as he took another drink. “He wants for nothin' now, Trev. Alec is payin' out his ears t' keep the boy in a private school. Doesn't ask us for a bloody pound. Ben has a stable roof over his head, food stocked in the kitchen. They're doin' well, Trev. Alec makes good money where he's at.”

“But we can provide more an' better, Murdoc,” Trevor insisted. Hadn’t Nina told Alec the same bloody thing? The man believed his own hype. Can’t really fault a man for that, but in a situation like this? Loads of dough, a big house and acreage the size of a small state didn’t mean a person was better at caring for a kid.

“Not necessarily,” Murdoc corrected, wagging a bony finger at the other man. “It 'mounts t' nothin' more than shovin' a bunch of material shit at him t' make up for never bein' there. _Oh, sorry I can't make your polo game, here's a bloody pony_!” A low snorting laugh erupted from him as he took another massive drink from the glass. “Dun' work like that, Trev. Nina dun' give a toss 'bout the boy, really. She admitted t' Alec just a few weeks ‘go that this had more t' do with keepin' her sugar daddy.”

“That’s how it’s a’ways worked, Murdoc,” Trevor said in a low voice as he set his glass down. “Her marriage t' Aiden means a lot for this family. It means stability an' a good lineage.”

“Christ, mate, what century do we live in 'gain?” Murdoc laughed, draining his glass. “I dun' care if Alec is a pauper with whomever his partner might be as long as that person treats him an' Ben well. Nobody marries for status an'more, do they?” He stared across the table at Trevor, his mouth going slack as the other man nodded his head. “Bloody fuckin' hell, Trev.....Wake up an' join the new century!”

Trevor leaned into the table, his arms folded onto the surface. “Look, I dun' agree with what Nina did, Murdoc, but we can't change it. An' she's tryin' t' make it right. She will be able t' provide a much better home for the boy. An' Alec will be free t' see him in their home - ”

“Wait....stop there a moment, Trev.” He pulled his glasses from his face, rubbing at his eyes. “This is where thins' get fucked up, mate. You expect us just t' hand him over t' you an' only see him at her house? Dun' you think the new bank roll she's marryin' will have a bit of an issue havin' her ex in his home all the time? An’ what ‘bout me an’ Hailey, eh? When are we gonna be able t’ see him?”

“Ben would be so busy with school an' other activities, Alec would only be able t' see him once a month, if that,” Trevor said in a matter of fact tone. “As for you an’ Hailey, we can probably arrange somethin’ a few times a year so you’re not completely cut off.”

Murdoc shook his head, his smile collapsing completely. “I dun' think so, man. Alec wouldn't go with an'thin' like that an’ neither will me or Hailey!” Hearing this just made his hatred towards the man flare up. Who the hell did they think they were anyway? Actually thinking they could limit Alec’s access and all but eradicate their access all because this is how they did it? He sneered, fixing Trevor in a hard glare. “So she plans t' rip the kid from the only parent an' family he knows, force him t' live with two complete fuckin' strangers, shove a bunch of material shit at him an' then keep him so busy, he won't even be able t' see his bloody father or grandparents when he wants?”

“He won’t be denied a relationship with his grandparents. Laura an’ I will be there for him. An’ Aiden is fully prepared t' fill that role in Alec's absence,” Trevor said, flinching at the other man's acidic gaze. “We know it will be a bit of a transition, but Ben's young 'nough....he'll adapt quickly. You’ll all adapt quickly.”

“Christ, Alec was right, you lot are mental,” Murdoc muttered in disgust, draining the rest of his lager. He gestured at the barkeep again, still shaking his head. Could this be any more fucked up? And this nob in front of him didn't seem disturbed by it at all, as if this shit were just another normal occurrence. “Alec won't stand idly by an' let Nina or you alienate him an’ us from the boy. Actually, it will be a cold day in hell before he allows her t' have any level of custody, especially after the shit she pulled. An’ you’re fucked up for thinkin’ this is all just hunky dory.”

“The child needs his mother, Murdoc,” Trevor growled, draining the fresh glass quickly. “I would think _you_ of all people would understand that.”

“Oh, _I understand_ ,” Murdoc hissed, bristling. “I understand his confusion, his pain.....the feelin' of not bein' good 'nough, the questions.....” He flashed Trevor a hard look, sneering. “I understand more than an'one in this whole bloody mess. Nina should thank whatever god she worships that I didn't stick my size fuckin' nine up her bony lil' arse as she was walkin' out our door five years 'go.”

Trevor flinched when Murdoc shoved himself to his feet roughly, his darkened expression unwavering as he stalked away towards the bar. Throwing the whole _boy needs his mother_ bit was a low blow. Patronizing fucker, that’s what Trevor was. He had no place to speak to Murdoc about mothers. He’d accepted his own abandonment some years back after Alec had tracked down a handful of remaining family, which had included several younger siblings from Murdoc’s mother’s side. It had hurt and it had sparked a lot of old emotions, but he’d come to terms with it. It didn’t completely take away the sting of feeling abandoned, but finding out her hand had been forced in the matter had eased that sting. Alec had meant well and that alone was what kept him from disposing of the photos and letters. But this wasn’t about him, it was about Richards’ little cunt daughter thinking she could abandon her son and then appear several years later to take him away. Yes, a boy definitely needs his mother, but not if she’s a gold digging slag who wants to isolate her child from everyone he’s close to.

Upon reaching the bar, he ordered some shots, shaking his head in disbelief. The other thing that irritated him was that this tool actually thought their plan to take Ben away and limit Alec’s access was an okay thing. Murdoc may have been a bit out of the loop when it came to modern psychology, but he was pretty sure every psychologist worth their salt would say this was fucking cruel and would never support it. It really just went to show how different the Richards’ world was compared to regular people. They’d grown up in an upper crust society where such actions were absolutely the norm because they shipped their kids off to boarding schools across the country the moment they were toilet trained and then expected their kids to be their little carbon copies. Not having access to their family was their normal.

The bartender shoved the shots towards him and he was soon ambling back across the pub carrying two shot glasses in each hand. Setting two in front of Trevor, he took one of his shots before even sitting down. Slamming the glass, he flashed the other man another hard look before hitting the second shot. Trevor no doubt sensed the challenge. Murdoc's more cordial attitude now gone, his dark eyes boring into him. Taking a breath, Trevor grabbed one of his shot glasses, tipping it back and draining it quickly. “Holy christ!” he gasped, slamming the glass.

Murdoc smirked, gesturing at the second glass. “C'mon, mate, let's see what you're made of.” He eased his body into the cushions of the chair, watching with amusement as Trevor grabbed the second glass and tipped it back quickly, slamming the glass down and half choking. He let out a scoffing laugh, snapping his fingers to gain the barkeep's attention. “Oi, we need more over here!” He could do this all fucking day. He wanted to see that uptight exterior crack. He knew it was possible, he’d come so close at one point years ago. Everything this man touted was little more than a facade. A facade the man carried for so bloody long, he probably believed it down to his core. Men like this cracked eventually and today was going to be the day for ol’ Trev Richards.

Four more shots were laid out across the table, Murdoc nodding his thanks as he shoved two of them towards Trevor. Trevor merely stared at the two shot glasses with the amber liquid. He was definitely starting to feel it. There was a flush to his face and his eyes looked watery. His eyes surfaced from his shots, watching as Murdoc took both his without a flinch. “Your liver must hate you,” Trevor whispered.

“Liver gave out years 'go, mate,” Murdoc laughed, patting his side. “Gotta transplant.” He gestured at the two glasses still sitting in front of Trevor untouched. “C'mon, dun' let them go stale, Trev....”

Trevor reached out, grabbing one of the shot glasses and downed it quickly, huffing loudly as he set the glass down and dropped his head. Oh yeah, the alcohol was definitely doing the trick. He looked around blearily, sometimes glancing up at Murdoc and other times just staring at the empty shot glasses. There was even a nice little shine of sweat on his balding head. Calling for more rounds, the barkeep arrived in record time with several more shot glasses. Murdoc lit himself another cigarette as he watched Trevor sink further and further down to the table. The barkeep set down another set, Murdoc taking his with ease. Trevor pushed himself upright with a groan, grabbing the shots and taking them as quickly as he could. “I can keep up, y'know,” he slurred. “I'm not weak, Niccals!”

“Of course not,” Murdoc chuckled, exhaling smoke through his twisted nose. “Of course not.”

More drinks were laid out, Murdoc finally stopping and shoving the shot glasses towards Trevor, watching as he took shot after shot. His face flushed, white hair plastered to his shining scalp, grey eyes staring blearily at Murdoc, who held his empty glass and make a drinking motion, grinning when Trevor did the same with his full shot glass. He’d lost count of how many rounds the barkeep kept bringing them, amazed now that Trevor was still upright. Teetering in his seat, Trevor peered across the table at Murdoc. “How d’ ya do it, Niccals? How is it you did ev’thin’ arse-backwards an’ still have the life you have? Your wife? Your kids?”

“I’m ‘fraid I’m not followin’ ya, mate.” Murdoc lit himself another cigarette, not breaking Trevor’s watery gaze. “How do I do what?”

“Ev’thin’!” Trevor barked, taking the last shot. “Alec a’ways spoke so highly of both of you. How much you an’ Hailey care ‘bout each oth’r...you shouldn’t have what you have, Niccals...shouldn’t have what you have.”

Murdoc shrugged his narrow shoulders, exhaling smoke through his nose. “Wasn’t all ponies an’ rainbows, Trev. You should know this. Relationships take work. Could ask you the same, yeah? You an’ your lil’ wifey been married as long as we have, right?”

“No...” Trevor frowned at the table. “Never saw much of each other. Careers. Different expectations outside the home. A’ways busy.” A heavy sigh erupted from him as he slumped down in the booth. “Just seems like you managed t’ get ever’thin’ my mates told me I should have. A good woman. Good kids. An’ Alec is a good kid, Niccals. After ever’thin’ he’s gone through, he came out of it a hundred percent a better person.”

“Look, mate, I dunno what t’ tell you,” Murdoc muttered with a sympathetic smile. “This was the life we were handed an’ we accepted it. Had our good times, had our rocky times. Reckon just like an’ other couple.” Not that he wanted this detour in the conversation, but letting a wall slip down a notch certainly would help loosen this fucker’s lips. “I imagine you love your Laura, yeah? Can’t stick it out this long an’ not feel somethin’.”

Trevor chewed his bottom lip, his eyes momentarily unfocused. “Well o’course I love her, Niccals. We’re still married, aren’t we? It just baffles me that you did ever’thin’ so backwards an’ still ended up doin’ a’right. An’ she got pregnant with Alec so quickly...Laura an’ I were married several years before we had Nina.”

“Like I said, Trev, this was what life handed t’ us an’ we accepted it.” Murdoc gestured at the barkeep, raising up one of him empty beer glasses. He needed a pint. The shots had done enough. He didn’t need anymore and Trevor looked like he was going to fall the fuck over. “We had some rough beginnins’,” he said finally. “Figured we could try t’ make it work an’ figure out what t’ do if it didn’t. Came close here an’ there, but a’ways managed t’ get past it.”

“Not gonna lie, Niccals, but I am envious at times.” Trevor frowned when the barkeep set two pints down in front of each of them. He was probably too pissed to even lift the damned glass, but he certainly was trying. He took a drink, closing his eyes briefly and sighing. “What are we doin’ here?”

“We're killin' time until the kids get done with their shit,” Murdoc said dismissively, lighting a fresh cigarette.

“No....I mean _why_? Why am I doin' this, Murdoc?” Trevor looked up, staring at Murdoc with a sad expression. “She dun' want the boy, not really an'ways.....Juss wants Aiden t' marry her. You an’ Hailey did such a good job with Alec, even with ever’thin’ tossed your way. Ben belongs with his father an’ with his grandparents, the ones who’ve been there for him since the beginnin’.”

Murdoc blinked, momentarily unsure of what he should say. He hadn’t anticipated this. He reasoned that was probably one of the benefits of alcohol. He’d only wanted some dirt for entertainment purposes and ended up getting this man to open way up. Not necessarily a bad thing, though, because there was sincerity in his tone. Didn’t change the fact that Murdoc was momentarily at a loss of words. “Err...thanks, I guess? Look, dun’ get all gushy on me, mate. Glad you finally see us for the awesome family we are, but the accolades aren’t necessary.” He scooted over in the booth seat, patting the spot beside him. “Looks like you need an’ ear, Trev. Why dun’ you come sit over here an’ tell Uncle Murdy your troubles.”

“I mean it, Niccals,” Trevor insisted as he got to his feet and clumsily rounded the booth and dropped down beside him. “I know Nina dun’ want Ben an’ he’s better off stayin’ with you lot.” He let out a massive sigh and scrubbed his hands across his reddened face. “We're not bad people, Murdoc....Our lives are juss different.”

“Won't disagree there,” Murdoc muttered, grabbing at one of the abandoned shot glasses, draining it. “You treated my family like rubbish from the moment we met, Trev.”

“Christ, I'm sorry for that,” Trevor groaned, peering at him through his fingers. “All we wanted was for Nina t' succeed in life, not destroy ever'thin' she worked for by gettin' knocked up so young. Didn't want her t' get stuck bein' a nurse-maid t' your boy should his disabilities get worse....”

Murdoc's smile faltered a notch, watching as Trevor grabbed the last shot and drained it quietly. “You over-reacted, Trev,” he said, patting his shoulder. “She was in good hands. But that's way behind us now, yeah? Now she's tryin' t' screw Alec over. An' for what? To make herself look good t' some bloke?”

“She tried t' break 'way, but in the end, came back,” Trevor muttered, his voice slurred. “Raised her as we were raised, Murdoc. Status an' privilege are ever'thin' for us, man. She managed t' re-assimilate in t' our circle, find a proper partner. But there was the issue of the boy. We made her vow t' secrecy 'bout the boy, Niccals. As far as Aiden was concerned, Nina was childless. But he found a picture of the lad an' she had no choice but t' tell him 'bout Ben.”

“So Ben was her dirty lil' secret, yeah?” Murdoc asked, staring at the man.

“If she'd been smart, she coulda said she gave the boy up for 'doption or somethin', but she told him 'bout Alec, you, Ben.....” Trevor let out a shuddering sigh, his hands dropping from his face as he stared at their glass littered table. “Then she said she was still workin' on gettin' custody back, sayin' that Alec only took the boy temporarily until she got back on her feet.....”

A barking laugh erupted from Murdoc. “An' the bloke believed her bullshit?”

“He's rich, but not bright, mate,” Trevor laughed. “Good christ, he's an idiot.”

“Nina got herself quite the catch then,” Murdoc laughed.

Trevor's laughter died down, his expression growing solemn again. “She ended up juss like me, Murdoc. Juss like me. It's all business an' status.”

“Most parents want their kids t' end up like them, or at least more successful....” Murdoc gave the man's shoulders a squeeze, laughing softly. “Alec an’ I were nothin’ alike, Trev. Reckon I have his Mum t' thank for that. But after he woke, he was different. More like me than I could ever imagine. An' it's unsettlin' at times, mate. Truly unsettlin'.”

“ _It is_ unsettlin',” Trevor murmured. “Nina used t' be quiet an' passive, Murdoc. The perfect society lady, mate. An' out of the blue, this aggressive an' assertive young woman came out. She took control of so much at home. Business sense that could put the most talented investors t' shame. She helped me build and build with my investments. Ruthless, she was. My lil' girl is gone an' all that's left is this cold and no-nonsense woman who was ready t' move on t' the next phase in her life an' accomplish great thins'. An' then all this started. An' she's determined t' use her position, status an' money t' win.”

“Why, though?” Murdoc asked, now looking at Trevor in confusion. “Why bother takin' the boy if she has no real interest in him? What did she plan t' do with him once she got him?”

“She wants t' secure her marriage t' Aiden,” Trevor mumbled, resting his head into his arms. “It will secure her position within society. She figures after a few years of limitin' contact between Ben an' his father, Alec will give up an' leave them be. As for what she plans t' do with him, there's a boardin' school over in New Zealand. Send him there until he's seventeen, eighteen or whatever....” He lifted his head, reaching weakly for one of the half full glasses. “It's just how we do thins'.”

Murdoc’s face settled into a frown. This was what he was wanting to hear. This had been why he’d put their tab on his credit card. Took the old tosser long enough! He cracked a fake toothy smile and patted the man's shoulder. “Do you think she stands a chance after leavin' Ben for five years?”

“Oh, not a fuckin' chance,” Trevor laughed. “But you can’t tell her that!” He fell silent for a moment, staring at the table before erupting into near hysterical laughter. “She really believes her money an’ status puts ever’thin’ in her favor.” He kept laughing, tears now springing to his eyes. Poor sod probably didn’t know what to do about his little Frankenstein monster. Murdoc wanted to point out that this was why you didn’t spoil kids, but he wasn’t sure he had any place to talk when it came to that. Nina was of a different variety. Wealthy and privileged and assuming everyone would bow down to her, no matter her faults. Trevor’s laughter died down, tears still staining his cheeks as he gazed blearily around him. “Won't listen t' reason, mate. Lawyer even said her chances were nill, if at all.”

“Well, confidence is a good thin',” Murdoc said through a snorting laugh, slapping his hand across Trevor's back. The man had definitely loosened up, not something he’d thought possible. “It will work well when she's takin' this Aiden bloke for all he's worth.”

“Oh, you're tellin' me, man,” Trevor laughed, sweat shining on his reddened face. “Poor sod dunno what's comin'.”

Murdoc grinned, gesturing at the barkeep. “Lager, if you will, mate,” he hollered, returning his attention back to the muttering Trevor, who was staring at his hands with wide glistening eyes, giggling like a madman. “What do you think she should do, mate?” Murdoc asked in a quiet voice.

“What I think?” Trevor peered up at him, his face looking grotesque with the strange and massive grin. “I think she should pull her head from her arse an' move on. Do the lad a favor, yeah?” Dropping his gaze back to his hand, he shook his head, the laughter rising in his chest. “I should warn Aiden, you think?”

Murdoc chuckled, grabbing his fresh lager. “Naw, mate, dun' worry 'bout him. He's a big boy, he'll figure it out soon 'nough, yeah?” He perked his head at the sound of the front door, looking across the pub. Lingering just inside the pub stood Alec. Alec froze at the entrance, staring at the two men at the far table, his brow knitted in confusion. Probably was trying to figure out why Trevor was with him, practically slumped against him and laughing like a lunatic. Murdoc’s gaze dropped down to Trevor, who was hunched over and tapping into his phone, chuckling darkly to himself. Murdoc looked up, meeting Alec’s gaze and gesturing for him to walk over. “Dun’ worry, son, he won’t bite.”

Alec paused at the table, staring down at Trevor. “Do I even wanna ask?”

“Best you not,” Murdoc chuckled. He leaned down, patting Trevor’s back. “Oi, Trev, I need ya t’ get up, man. Time for me t’ go!”

Both turned when the front door opened and Nina stepped through. She looked pretty irritated and looked frantically around until her gaze landed on Alec and then her father and Murdoc sitting at the booth. Stalking through the pub, she flashed glares at both Alec and Murdoc before dropping her gaze to Trevor. “Dad What the bloody hell you doin' here with _him_?” Pushing Alec aside, she knelt down, peering at Trevor. “Dad, you okay?”

“Christ, what d’ you want, you gold diggin’ lil’ tart?” Trevor cackled. “Can't a man enjoy a few drinks in peace?”

Nina pushed herself to her feet, flashing Murdoc an acidic look. “What'd you do t' him, you rotten ol' fool?”

“I didn't do a bloody thin', stupid girl,” Murdoc laughed, throwing his hands up in defense. “I suggested a few drinks t' bide our time an' he opened up like he was in a confession booth.” He watched as Nina pulled Trevor from the booth, still flashing both him and Alec venous glares. Murdoc scooted out of the booth seat and stood up, watching as Nina struggled to wrangle Trevor through the pub. “Not gonna lie, boy, but this was quite enlightening.”

Trevor perked his head, glaring at Nina through sweaty and greasy white hair. “Rotten lil' girl, you are. Shoulda never humored you in tryin’ t’ get your son...Oh, an' I texted Aiden. Told him t' run far, far 'way, lovey.....”

Murdoc’s face cracked into a toothy grin when he saw the tiny little blood vessels on her temple swell with her rising agitation. “YOU WHAT!” she roared. “We had the pre-nup set up just the other day, Dad! What the bloody hell possessed you t' scare him off?”

Trevor snickered, staring directly at her red and furious expression as he flopped against her uselessly. “When I realized I created a lil' money grubbin' monster.” He started to giggle when her mouth opened, stammering in an effort to retort. Trevor continued to giggle, shaking his head. “You, my dear, need a reality check! You're a good business woman, Nina. You're smart, you're ruthless an' you're pretty, which gives you an advantage, but you're a lousy person, juss like me!”

Laughing, Murdoc patted Trevor’s shoulders as he circled around the two still struggling to stay upright. “Right then, Trev, I'm gonna vacate here. I'll leave you two t' it.” He ignored Nina's sputtering demands that he tell her what he did to her father, casually walking beside Alec, who was staring at him with raised eyebrows. Pausing at the entrance, Murdoc peered outside, holding up two unlit cigarettes. “Need a smoke, boy?”

“Err...yeah, I think I do,” Alec laughed, taking one of them and lighting it. “So, just what the hell did I see in there, an'way?”

“Great thin' 'bout alcohol, Alec. Loosens the tongue, makes you a bit more uninhibited....Shit like that.” He erupted into a snorting laugh, lighting his own and taking a drag. “I didn't expect him t' trash on Nina, though.....I was just tryin' t' weasel some info outa him. Nice lil' surprise, that's for sure.” He started walking out to the sidewalk, pausing shortly at the intersection, looking around at the steel grey clouds that covered the city, the sun just a shining white speck. “She lost, yeah?”

“Aye, she did,” Alec said, exhaling through his nose. “The judge ripped her t' shreds, actually. It was entertainin'.”

“I'm sure it was,” Murdoc laughed, crossing the intersection, hands shoved into his pockets. “Will she get visitation?”

“One weekend a month,” Alec laughed, limping as he tried to keep Murdoc’s pace. “An' supervised in a settin' of my choice.”

Murdoc erupted into a cackling laugh, slowing his pace down so Alec could walk beside him. He snorted, unable to contain the laughter. All that privilege and money meant nothing, just as they’d assumed and hoped. To be a fly on the wall in that hearing, watching the judge tear strips from her. “She was too fuckin’ full of herself,” he chuckled. “It’s no surprise shit backfired on her.”

“Wish you coulda been there, Dad,” Alec laughed. “Judge said he didn't care 'bout how much money she had, she was a rotten parent an' should be lucky I wasn't lookin' on strippin' her rights.”

“Child support?” Murdoc asked, peering over at him as they approached Alec's car.

“Yeah, a third of her income,” Alec laughed. “An' the judge also ordered arrears for the five years she's been absent.” Alec unlocked the door, sliding in and unlocking the passenger side. “So, tell me, how the bloody hell did you manage t' lure Trev in t' that pub for a few drinks?”

Murdoc fastened his seat belt, cracking a grin. “Best way t' ease the tension in any situation. I'm surprised he was feelin' it so quickly. I barely got a good buzz goin'.”

Alec let out a good humored laugh. “Well, hate t' break it t' you, Dad, but most people can't drink from the moment they wake till the moment they crash.”

Shrugging, Murdoc flicked his cigarette out the window. “It should be considered a fuckin' talent!” he crowed, spotting the drunken Trevor in the distance, being dragged out of the pub by Nina. “He was entertainin', that's for sure. I should call him an' invite him out 'gain one of these days. He's actually not a bad bloke when he loses that stick up his arse.”


	23. Mad World

Walking into the house, Alec looked around with wary eyes. Though it was the same earthy tones, simple art and photos he'd seen now for many years, it all seemed different now. Tainted, even. Of course, he'd come to realize that some things had been changed or replaced through the years, but it was still always warm and welcoming within. It felt anything but at this point. It made him think of that old poem or children’s tale. _Welcome to my parlor, said the spider to the fly._ Yes, that was it. Exactly like that. All purely a facade, aesthetics to fool gullible minds. Hiding the truth behind pictures of smiling children, warm caramel colored walls and the smell of cherry turnovers. Every piece of décor, every picture, every nook and cranny now little more than a front to hide the darkness. From beside him, he could hear his Mum chatting happily with him about something irrelevant, something he’d lost a few seconds of conversation about. That blasted garden she was determined to grow, the one his Dad affectionately called The Dirt Patch.

Ben was already gone from beside him, darting through the house towards the stairs to his bedroom upstairs, the bedroom that had once been Alec's. Hailey was pulling his jacket from him, still chatting about those stubborn-ass cucumbers that never got bigger than her fucking pinkie finger. This did make Alec smile, glancing over and seeing his mother's face lit up and animated, grinning broadly and flashing teeth that were now yellowing from coffee and cigarettes, the glint of a silver cap visible when she smiled too broadly. Her once dark brown hair was now a dull white with some streaks of steel grey, tied back into a sloppy pony-tail, the simple hair-style a familiar one, something he'd seen in numerous photos and what few memories he'd obtained. She was dressed casually in what he assumed was one of his Dad’s old shirts (she hated Dio!), jeans and some battered blue Chuck Taylor low tops, the smudges of dirt on her toes indicating that she'd been in the doomed garden mere moments before his and Ben's arrival. Just your typical little old lady now. Nothing in her demeanor indicating anything out of the ordinary.

His mind replayed flashes of the nightmare that had shaken him awake, the nightmare that had confused him and terrified him. The nightmare that had left him up numerous late nights, wondering and searching for anything that could give him answers. And it was hard as hell to look at her now, his mind nagging at him with the memories that had assaulted his consciousness. The more information he’d discovered, the more some of those blurrier memories started to clear. His Dad being upstairs with him playing a game while Mum had been in the basement. The horrified look on his Dad’s face whenever Mum emerged from the basement. The smells coming from the basement whenever the door happened to be left open. Waking to find both parents gone from the home and thinking he’d seen them out in the back property with another person. Fleeting and foggy memories that came through clearly in some areas but still muddled and confusing in others. It took him a long moment to realize his Mum was staring at him now. As if she could tell he was distracted and unfocused, not really seeing her. Her silver eyebrows knitted together in confusion, her hand on his face. “Alec....are you okay?”

Alec blinked, his eyes focusing on her face. Her smile had melted and he could see worry etched deep into her softly wrinkled features. A low sigh erupted from him at the gentle touch on his face, pulling himself into a mental about face, flashing a smile at her. “Fine, Mum....Fine.”

“No, you're not fine,” she whispered, her fingers moving along the skin beneath his eyes. “You're not sleeping well.” She chewed against her bottom lip, scanning him over carefully. He knew he looked worn down. Circles marred beneath his eyes, his skin pale from lack of sleep and almost a full beard because he hadn’t shaved in days. Part of him wanted to recoil from the touch, but another part of him welcomed it. Thrown back to foggy memories of when he was much smaller, enjoying the simplicity of a mother’s touch. He could remember being a small child and sitting between them, feeling her hand in his hair, on his face. He could remember seeing his Dad's arm stretched out across the space Alec had filled, his own hand absently twirling at his Mum's hair.

This brought to the forefront of his memories something else, something long buried, seeing the two of them in their bedroom, naked, the marks that marred their bodies confusing to him, his Dad with his hand tangled into her hair, pulling her head back sharply, the belt around her throat loosening as he bent his head down to her neck. Seeing the two of them out in the back property, pushing someone between them and laughing. Smelling the thick and heavy scents of blood, sweat and fear in the basement. Dad ushering him upstairs when Mum had emerged from the basement, something about her not sitting with him right. He didn’t know what it was, he was young and couldn’t verbalize what had been so disturbing to him, but he knew something was going on. Little things that escaped his notice through the years now seeming to make more sense.

Hailey's brow furrowed as she examined his face. He wasn’t sure what to say. She knew something was troubling him but he couldn’t tell her what it was. There was no way. His parents had lied to him for years, telling him someone didn’t exist when they did. Told him this person never existed and yet not only did she actually exist, she’d been the one responsible for his disabilities. Nothing about Hailey now would ever indicate the monster she’d become so many years ago. Tapping into something dark and primal as both her and Murdoc tortured the woman who'd hurt Alec and then disposed of her body somewhere. There was no monster here, just his mother and she was worried because he looked ill. Worried because he looked distracted. “Alec,” she whispered, resting her hand against his cheek and ear, “please tell me what's wrong with you, hon.” His eyes shifted, meeting her gaze. She examined his face carefully, narrowing her eyes. “You didn't have another seizure, did you?”

He shook his head, tearing his gaze away from hers. “No....just got a lot on me mind, Mum. That's all. Finances, Ben bein' a prat....shit like that, y'know?” He cracked a toothy smile though he knew she'd see through that line of bullshit in a heart-beat. But amazingly, she said nothing further, accepting his refusal to talk about it. Flashing him another worried look, she shook her head, moving away from him towards the stairs, hollering now for Ben to come down and help her with planting some tomato plants. Alec felt a brief moment of guilt, realizing his silence had pricked her. “Err.....where's Dad?” he asked softly.

“Study,” she said, gesturing towards the sitting room. Ben came thundering down the steps, accompanying Hailey towards the French doors leading to the back property. She cast a glance over her shoulder, the worry still there. “He's working on one of his guitars, I think. Was playing the bloody thing and a string snapped. Sliced his finger good. Tell him he needs to go to the doctor and get it stitched. Stubborn old fool thinks a wee bit of gauze is sufficient enough.”

Alec snickered, catching his Mum's smile as she led Ben out the doors. He stared down at his feet as the toe of his shoe scuffed at the polished wood. Been a while since he'd heard his Dad play. He wondered it that was the secret to why the old man didn't get hit with arthritic hands. The man bragged about how he taught himself and practiced until his fingers bled. Real bassists did not use guitar picks, they used their fingers. That was how he was. And his fingers showed signs of years of practice and playing. Though they were thin and bony hands with long fingers that seemed almost too feminine for him, they were scarred and calloused. Alec found himself staring at his own hands, noting the slight similarities. Same thin hands with long fingers, though not nearly as long. His fingers were a little thicker, the skin soft and evident that he hadn't done any truly hard work a day in his life.

His feet moved forward, silently walking through the kitchen and into the sitting room. His eyes darted to the basement door right there by the stairs, fleeting moments of nausea and panic rising up as he continued towards the other door that led to Murdoc’s study. It had been a studio once, used during his father’s time as an independent musician, but upon retiring the old codger had converted it back into a regular study. Murdoc's sanctuary from the world when he merely wanted a few hours to play around on one of the guitars. Alec paused at the closed door, tapping gently. “Oi, Dad, it's me!” From the other side of the door, he heard a huff and the sound of something hitting the desk before a low rumbling “It's open” came from the room. Opening the door, Alec peered into the study, seeing Murdoc at the small desk with one of the dozen or so guitars he owned sitting across it. “Mum said a string snapped,” Alec muttered.

Murdoc grunted in response, not looking up from the black and white bass. Alec took the extra chair in the corner, watching as Murdoc carefully tightened a fresh string in place. His eyes finally surfaced from the bass, landing on Alec’s face. The corners of his mouth twitched as he scanned Alec over carefully, most likely the same worries running through the old man’s head as he took in Alec’s haggard and unshaven mug. “You look like you got hit by a train, boy,” he muttered, returning his attention back to the bass. “Thins' a'right for you?”

Alec said nothing at first, dropping his gaze to his hands. He wasn't sure where to start or how to start. And there was also the realization that they could very well lie about it all. And what exactly did he plan to do with whatever they said or did not say? It had been over thirty years, right? His parents were both up there in their years. Hell, his Dad was sitting there, hunched over this guitar, his silver hair thinned, bangs hiding the receding hairline, age spots littering his temples, his hands. The brown eyes that occasionally peered up at him through his glasses looked tired. The lines and wrinkles in his face were more prominent now than Alec had ever noticed. His Dad was eighty-one years old. His mother was seventy. He had to face the fact that his parents had both aged, were both classified as senior citizens (his Dad always made sure they got discounts while out doing whatever) and chances were, whatever it was behind those dark eyes was gone now and had been for many decades. But Alec needed to know, to get to the bottom of it all. Just verify that what he was remembering was actually correct and not some stupid trick of a damaged brain. “Remember when I was discussin' the dreams I'd had while in the coma?” he asked softly. His Dad said nothing, only nodding in response, his attention still on the guitar. “There was 'nother person there, someone Mum knew.....they were friends.....” Alec took a breath, watching his father carefully, who had now stopped working on the guitar, but still refused to look up. “You an' her didn't get 'long." He paused, watching Murdoc's face. "You told me she didn’t exist. That she was not part of this world.”

“Where are you goin' with this, boy?” Murdoc asked softly, now staring at Alec. There was a flicker of something in his expression as he continued to stare at Alec. Was that really fear Alec had seen? Murdoc recovered quickly, dropping his attention back to the old black and white bass, mumbling under his breath. His demeanor had definitely changed. More alert, walls up and eyes that would sometimes glance up at him before returning the guitar. Guarded, that was what Alec was seeing. His father was guarded. He looked small and afraid even, though Alec couldn’t say how he knew this. Maybe it was his overall change the moment Alec had mentioned the mystery person that he knew his parents knew about. How long had they feared for this day? Had there been relief that his memory of things had become so muddled through the years from the seizures and then the coma? Relief that most of his dream reality had been nothing but a dream and had given them the opportunity to brush away faces as figments of his imagination? This led him to wonder how much more they may have lied to him about. Murdoc grunted, leaning back in his chair. “Well...spit it out, boy.”

Alec rose up from his chair and slipped out of the study. “I’ll be right back. Gettin’ somethin’ outa the car.” He could feel his Dad’s stare on his back as he exited the room and veered towards the front door to get to his car. In the passenger seat lay a backpack. He grabbed the bag from the car and returned back inside, peering back into the office and catching Murdoc’s somewhat curious expression. He unzipped the bag, sorting through the chaos within and pulling out various print-outs. He laid them across the desk, several of them as well as some of the news articles he’d found. He’d found quite a bit of information but most of it all pretty much said the same thing or had little in the way of updates. He could see something in Murdoc’s eyes as he glanced at the pictures. At the broad smile, the white blond hair and the massive blue eyes that seemed to bore into you from the snaps. Alec took a breath as he set the final picture down, the one he’d printed from the missing person profile, the one that showed the woman with his mother.

Murdoc examined each picture carefully without moving a muscle, his gaze lingering over a random snap that Alec had found from the old Gorillaz website that showed him and Hailey together backstage after the Seattle show. Alec had actually been tickled in finding such an intimate shot. Hailey smiling at a vaguely familiar older man with Murdoc practically in her lap. He’d even come across an archived article about a costume party and had found another snap of the two of them in Victorian costumes. Absolutely surreal finding these snaps that showed them in their earliest moments together, probably around the very time frame he’d been conceived. He watched as Murdoc picked up the backstage snap and there was almost a ghost of a smile there. He set the print-out aside and looked at the others, at the multitude of white haired women who all smiled back. “What is all this?” he asked in a hoarse whisper.

“Alicia Hunter,” Alec said flatly, sitting back down into the chair. “Her an' Mum had been friends since they were twelve an' fourteen. Had a fallin' out, Mum left with you, an' her story shoulda ended there, right?” He stared at his father, hoping to catch something in his heavily face that told him what he needed to know. The old bugger was a pro at hiding shit, though, nothing in his expression indicated he even recognized the woman in the pictures. “Well, it didn't end there,” he continued, his voice still level. “Several years pass an' Alicia had been searchin' for Mum that whole time. Out of the blue, Mum an' you appear back in Seattle. Mum an' Alicia meet face t' face, the meetin' is not pleasant. Nobody knows what exactly happened in the days that followed, but Alicia left her shift at work one evenin' an' that was it. You an' Mum left Seattle shortly after, probably just before she was reported missin’. Reported missin’ on September 20 2015, ‘round the same time as ‘nother woman who apparently had ties t’ Mum. An' it was after this that I ended up with my disabilities. I can only assume they really didn't make themselves known until some weeks or months after, but it's tied t' whatever happened in Seattle.”

Murdoc blinked, his lower lip caught in his teeth as he stared at the photos. Several of the photos Alec had found had included Mum with her. Alec had found some of those in old social media profiles, tagged at some old long closed down nightspot called Curry’s. He reached into his bag and pulled out a few additional pictures, not nearly as many as the white haired woman, but someone who supposedly was linked to it all. A petite woman with closed cropped red hair. He set the photos down, holding his breath as Murdoc continued to go through the photos and news articles. “It was a long time 'go, Alec,” he said, finally his eyes surfacing from the pictures. “My memory isn't what it's cracked up t' be.”

“Please dun' lie 'bout this, Dad,” Alec whispered, glancing over his shoulder to make sure they weren't being spied on. “I've gone my whole life not knowin' what happened. I have a right t' know these thins'. It affected me as much as it affected you an' Mum.” Their eyes met, locking briefly before Murdoc tore his gaze away, moving some of the pictures aside to see the other pictures Alec had found. One or two snaps were the red-headed woman that Alec had never seen before. Articles said her name was Chloe Turner and she had worked at the same ad agency as his mother when his parents had first met. The reports he’d found regarding the missing women indicated they’d been seen together on numerous occasions and it was thought their disappearances were connected, even if reported several days apart. Turner’s head had been found about six years later off a logging road, wrapped in aged black plastic, but the Alicia woman had never been found. With trembling hands, Alec pulled a cigarette from his pack, lighting it. “Only three people know exactly what happened in those days before those women disappeared, Dad. Two of them are dead, the other is sittin' right here in front of you.”

Murdoc paused, his hand frozen over a picture of him and Hailey, moving it aside to look at the picture of the red-head. His expression was mostly unreadable as he stared at the photo of Turner. Alec stared at him, trying to gauge every muscle twitch in the heavily lined face. Sighing, Murdoc set the photo down and grabbed his own cigarettes. Leaning back into his chair, he lit the cigarette quickly, his gaze steady on Alec. “So, do you want us t' admit it or are you goin' t' tell us what you remember?”

“You an' Mum killed them, didn't you?” Alec asked softly, exhaling smoke.

“We did,” Murdoc whispered. Easing his body back into the plush office chair, he turned his attention out the window. Alec followed his gaze, seeing Hailey and Ben farting around the dirt patch she'd been determined to grow. The air in the study felt different now. The quiet part finally said aloud. Murdoc sighed, his gaze still out the window as he smoked his cigarette. “We never did find out their exact motives for it. Somethin’ t’ do with wantin’ t’ get back at us or some other rubbish.” He paused, his eyes shimmering with the onset of tears. Taking a breath, he blinked them back, looking over at Alec. “Turner was probably the mastermind behind it all, Alicia Hunter nothin’ more than a mentally unbalanced useful idiot who just wanted her best mate back. Thought that takin’ you ‘way could force your Mum t’ stay in the states. Threatened t’ have us imprisoned if we didn’t follow their demands.” He let out a bitter laugh as he held up one of the print outs. It was strange seeing the emotions so close to the surface. Alec had seen anger and on many more occasions, happiness, but with forcing his father to relive that long ago holiday trip, he was seeing real pain reflected in the old mans’ expression as he scanned over the photos of the two women. Murdoc shook his head, blinking back tears. “They stalked us. Got floorplans of our home. Alicia broke in an’ took you. Held you for days. Beat you...” His voice cracked abruptly and he took a shaking breath. “She tried t’ kill you, Alec. Put you in a cooler an’ dumped you in t’ the bay like an unwanted kitten.”

Alec frowned, lowering his gaze to the photos. Maybe having his father revisit this hadn’t been a good idea. He sounded on the verge of tears, eyes still shimmering with tears as he stared at the photos and other things Alec had collected. Swallowing loudly, Alec took a breath. “An’ the Turner woman? The one whose partial remains had been found?”

“An arrogant cunt who thought she was untouchable,” Murdoc whispered bitterly. “Stupid ‘nough t’ leave a note on our rental. Hailey an’ her went back years an’ they’d worked t’gether for years too. She tried t’ disguise her handwriting, but Hailey identified it. We got t’ her first an’ that was how we found out they were connected.”

“You killed her too?” Alec asked in a soft whisper.

“Before we left Seattle,” Murdoc muttered, rising up from the chair. “It was your mother’s idea t’ dismember her an’ dispose of her in different locations.”

“I remember some of it now,” Alec said as he got to his feet. “I dun' remember a lot but I remember the pain. I remember the cold room. I remember my bedroom at the townhouse, the one with the Lightning McQueen décor.” He paused a moment, staring at the cherry of his cigarette. “I remember her hurtin' me an' I remember the tinglin' in my hands afterwards, the fuzzy sensations in me head.” Standing beside Murdoc, he looked out the window, watching as his Mum and Ben dug around the dirt, laughing about something. “There are other thins' I remember, as well. It was down in the basement, wasn't it? That's where you an' Mum kept all your weird an' kinky shit. You used that room.” He frowned, turning away from the window, taking a long drag from the cigarette before exhaling loudly. “Somehow, you managed t' bring the Alicia woman back here.....Kept her down there.” It felt weird speaking it aloud now. After too many sleepless nights digging around online and finding tons of information with too many dead ends, he’d kind of hoped that maybe his memories had been muddled from time and not reliable. In all honesty, he’d had some hope that maybe his parents would deny it. There was even fleeting feelings of guilt bringing it up because it was clear from his Dad’s expression and tone that even they had tried to put it behind them. It was painful to remember. Alec could understand a little better now, realizing that he’d felt something similar at the thought of Ben being taken from him when Nina had tried to drag him to court a year ago and it was probably nowhere near the same as the pain and fear his parents had felt when he had been taken from them. “When it all happened, when I was taken...why didn’t you go t’ the police, Dad?”

“I’d been involved in some sketchy legal situations,” Murdoc said in a low voice. “They threatened t’ turn us in if we didn’t follow with the demands so we tracked them down ourselves an’ snatched them up.” He stared out the window at Hailey, watching as she knelt down into the dirty, gesturing for Ben to do the same. Alec smiled, watching as Murdoc took a step back, leaning against the wall. “I can still feel the cold of the water. Still feel the netting cuttin’ in t’ my fingers. But we got you back an’ we got those who’d taken you. After we took care of the red-headed bitch, we packed up an’ got our arses home with the stowaway. Kept her down in the basement b’cause it was soundproof...” His expression became distant, the ghost of a smile just there on his face at the memories. “Seein' what Hailey was capable of, seein' how easily it came for her.....It was an amazin' sight t' see, Alec. Realizin' that I actually enjoyed watchin' her do her thin'.” He blinked, looking over at Alec. “Made me question m'self then. How could I be scared t' death of her, yet turned on by her at the same time?”

“You got your rocks off watchin' Mum mutilate an' kill someone?” Alec asked, his brow furrowed.

“In the worst way,” he breathed as he sank back down into his chair. “Couldn't keep m' hands off of her...” Kicking the office chair back, Murdoc propped his feet onto the corner of the desk, smoking his cigarette casually. “It was a different experience, that's for sure. Upstairs with you, playin' Dad of the year while you were 'wake, downstairs in the basement, gettin’ my jollies watchin' your Mum cut some bitch's eyeballs out while you were 'sleep.”

This was much more than Alec had bargained for. While he could understand the emotions that led to killing the women to begin with, the idea that they'd taken it to the next level, finding sexual pleasure in their acts made his stomach quake. The idea that this all took place downstairs while he'd slept peacefully upstairs, blissfully unaware of the monsters that had been unleashed. And the more he thought about it, the more it almost made sense. Remembering how the basement had once looked, unaware of the room’s purpose until he’d become an adult. Realizing that they'd utilized that room for themselves. Using the gags, the whips, the restraints. Maybe in the end, it wasn't good enough and that was what led to them taking it further?

Murdoc dropped his feet down, rubbing at his knee absently. “Your Mum took total control then. An' even though it frightened me seein' that coldness, I couldn't help but love all of it. It also made me 'ware of how deep I'd gotten with her. There was no turnin' back. An' I didn't give a toss by then. My only concerns were gettin' my rocks off an' watchin' that woman suffer for what she'd done t' you.”

“An' you weren't worried 'bout this comin' back on you two?” Alec asked, looking down at the pictures of the women. Had this not been something they’d considered or had they been too caught up in their emotional states? Sometimes as simple as a thread could have easily led the police to their doorstep. “Surely you weren't that confident 'bout it?”

“I'll admit it, I was scared shitless, boy,” Murdoc said, turning the chair to look back out the window. “I hid it well, I reckon, but in the back of my mind, the fear was there. The local police back in Seattle had even called us an’ spoke with us several times while we had that woman tied up in our basement. All fun an' games while it was happening, but once it was over, reality crashed in. As for Hailey, it didn't concern her. As far as she was concerned, it was justified an' enjoyin' it together was merely a perk. I knew your Mum had her problems, but what was unleashed on those women was a lot more dangerous than I realized. By the time I realized this, it was too late. I was in too deep.”

Alec rubbed his hands against his face, uttering a noise. “I just have trouble wrappin' my head 'round the idea that you were able t' do this an' nobody ever suspected either of you. Particularly Mum.”

“I watched her dismember a body like it was nothin’ in the townhouse bathtub an’ wrap it in plastic. I watched her torture a woman for several days, cuttin’ pieces from her, cuttin’ out her fuckin’ eyeballs.” He pressed his face close to the glass, his expression becoming distant. “This is between you an' me, boy, you hear? Dun' you dare repeat this t' your Mum.” Drawing back from the glass, Murdoc turned to face Alec, his expression serious. “We crystal?”

“Crystal,” Alec whispered.

“Your Mum went through a lot of shit, Alec, you know this. We both did. I dun' doubt that part of the reason she got off on what she'd done was due t' what had happened t' her.” He paused by the desk, pulling aside one of the pictures, staring at the snap of the two of them backstage. “The person she was then isn’t the person she is now, I’m sure you know this.” There was a strange smile on his face as he looked at the old photo, no doubt remembering that long ago night after the concert. “I’m a fine one t’ talk...I’m a bit of a hot mess m’self.”

“Quit beatin’ ‘round the bush, Dad,” Alec muttered. “What are you gonna tell me?”

A sigh erupted from Murdoc as he turned to face Alec. “You know why your Mum does a’right now? You can thank the medications she’s on.”

“Medications?” Alec frowned, crushing his cigarette out. Had he known this? Memories of his childhood were fleeting and blurred and while he was elated to remember stuff from when he was a small child, there were others that still eluded him. Was this something everyone knew, even Amy? “What kind?”

“Rispiridone, Xanax, an' a few others now that she’s older an’ deals with that blasted arthritis. She's tranked t' the gills most days, Alec, but she has t' take them.” Murdoc made a noise, his gaze dropping to the floor. “She hates that she has t’ take them an’ hates when the doc adjusts them b’cause it can fuck her up really bad. D’ you remember when I did that charity show? You were probably ‘round nine or so. She’d had a med change an’ went completely mental while I was gone. You had t’ call for help.”

No, Alec didn’t remember this. He was certain something this significant would be remembered. Maybe this was a good thing because he could imagine that being only nine years old at the time, seeing his mother go through a massive breakdown would have terrified him. There were other things that seeped through, flickering scenes that sometimes brought uneasiness. Remembering being told to remain in his room while overhearing his mother babble and sob downstairs. Overhearing his Dad in the studio as he threw things. But of any particular incident that required him to call someone for help? He couldn’t remember. He wanted to think he would remember something like that, but he didn’t. As an adult, he knew his Mum was a bit quirky and even a bit spacey from time to time, but had never considered the possibility that she was heavily medicated. “I dun’ think I do remember an’ of that.”

“Maybe for the best you dun’,” Murdoc said in a low voice. “You were terrified an’ I never forgave m’self for leavin’ t’ begin with. Had no choice in the matter, but she was in no shape t’ be left ‘lone.” Murdoc sighed, gathering the photos and other documents together into a neat little stack on his desk. “She wasn’t quite through the woods yet when a private investigator showed up a short time later. Right on our doorstep lookin’ in t’ Alicia’s disappearance.”

“Dad....” Alec swallowed hard at the lump that had formed in his throat. “How many are there?”

Murdoc smirked, lighting a new cigarette. “You make it sound like we made a habit of this. Not even close. Not gonna lie, boy, when he showed up, I was shittin’ m’self. Your Mum, on the other hand, was completely nonchalant ‘bout it. Didn’t matter that he’d probably found some incriminatin’ evidence, she was ready t’ do what was necessary.” With a huff, he leaned back in his chair. “There were no loose ends. An’ she dragged me in t’ it by m’ fuckin’ balls whether I wanted t’ or not.”

Alec lit another cigarette, his mind reeling with the amount of information he was getting. None of it seemed real. How the hell did this go on without anyone catching on? How the hell did he and Amy live here in this house and never catch it? Horrors had taken place in that basement, a basement he’d slept in for months without ever knowing what had taken place in there. But the thing that disturbed him the most was realizing that his parents got off on it. Like legitimately got their rocks off torturing and killing these people. His parents, both of whom he loved and saw as any other parent, had done horrifying things to people and somehow had managed to walk away scott free. “That takes it t' a different playin' field, though,” he whispered.

“I'm not a dullard, Alec, I know that,” Murdoc muttered, peering at the younger man. “She enjoyed it. Really, thoroughly enjoyed it. But she wouldn't go out seekin' it, if you know what I mean. She just saw the opportunity t' indulge that dark side. Handed t' her on our very door-step, more or less. But the drivin' force behind it all was protectin' the family. The investigator was perceived as a threat t' the family an' that was all the justification she needed. Ever’thin’ after that was merely a perk for her.”

“Did you....?” Alec's face blushed momentarily, his imagination on overdrive, images of things better left unseen and unsaid flickering in his mind.

“There are days where I question my own sanity, Alec,” Murdoc said, shrugging his shoulders dismissively. “Especially when I think back t' those times....I can't tell you how she affected me like that. How she could convince me t' do what I did. Maybe I was in over my head, but I couldn't refuse her an' most likely wouldn't have.” He slowly gathered the photos up, handing the stack to Alec. “You have your answers, Alec. Alicia an’ Chloe took you. Alicia hurt you an’ she tried t' kill you. We got you back an' we made sure they both suffered for their crimes. We did what every parent on this planet wishes they could do t' an'one who hurt their child. Your Mum may not be all there in her head, but she's not a bad person. She loves you, loves your sister, loves Ben an' loves me. I'm sure, even now at her age an' all the issues she's facin' with that, she'd do it 'gain in a heart-beat if it meant protectin' this family, Alec. That was a’ways the primary objective. Protect what we had by an’ means necessary.” He turned his chair towards the window again. Hailey and Ben could still be seen mucking around in the garden patch. Alec felt himself flinch when Hailey perked her head up and looked directly at them, cracking a goofy smile and waving. Murdoc returned the smile and waved back before turning is attention back to Alec. “All that shit we liked is behind us an' has been for some years. We're at different stages of our lives now an' we like it that way.”

Alec gathered the stack of print offs, tucking them back into his book-bag and zipping it tight. He could feel Murdoc's eyes on him, most likely hoping he'd absorbed the information given. His attention was beyond his father, out the window, staring again at the little white-haired old lady who was bent over a small wooden trellis, trying in vain to hook some vines into it and clearly getting frustrated. Like any other little old lady out tending to her home. It seemed amazing that they'd managed to hide something this big from everyone, even their children. This woman – this tiny mite of a woman – had captured and killed human beings. This woman had hidden a darkness inside her that only few had seen. She'd killed three people, enjoyed it even, and now here she was fighting with her dirt patch that never seemed to take off beyond a few weeds. “Maybe her dirt patch is karma for her,” he said off-handedly, smirking now at his father. “Kills whatever she tries t' grow over there.”

Murdoc shook his head. “I told her it was a bad idea. Knew she didn't have much green thumb.” He cracked a smile at Alec as he pulled his guitar back to the desk. “Nothin' grows 'cause I keep pissin' on it.”


	24. Best Mates

The light pierced through his pupil and felt like a knife boring into his brain. Bad enough his head was fucking killing him, the light was too bright and did nothing but trigger throbbing agony behind his eye. Alec made a noise, jerking his head away and regretting it immediately when a stabbing pain spiked from the base of his skull down his spine. The doctor huffed in his irritation, grabbing at Alec's bruised chin and jerking his head back to face him so he could flash the light into his other eye. Not sure why the idiot was doing that. Had he not bothered to look at his chart? He couldn’t see out of that eye. There would be little pupil reaction to the light because all he could see out of it was shadows. But no, the gloved hand was right there, the thumb pulling on his swollen eye-lid open, the pressure uncomfortable and painful. “Soddin' hell, mate, lay off with the man-handlin' a bit, will you!” Alec barked. The doctor drew back, glowering at the battered and bruised man sitting on the emergency room cot. Emergency room doctors weren't known for their bedside manner, that's for sure. He was tempted to ask the old coot who he pissed off to get graveyard at the city hospital emergency room. Was that how it worked? Of course, it could be rotations, which were normal in hospital settings as well. His own primary care doc sometimes did rotations at the urgent care wing of the medical center his practice was in.

He continued to look around the room, trying to push the aches and pains from his consciousness. The clean and sterile smell of the room brought to Alec's attention just how badly he smelled. Body odor, beer and blood. Poor doc probably was trying to keep from gagging being so close to him. If he smelled, the doctor certainly wasn’t letting on. Merely continuing to glare at him every time he flinched or tried to tug himself away from the meaty paws hell bent on pressing on all the fucking bruises on his face and body. “How am I supposed t' examine your injuries if you keep whinin' an' pullin' your head 'way, Mister Niccals?” the doctor growled.

Alec scoffed, flashing the doctor a venomous look. “Not like I can go an'where, mate!” he huffed, rattling the handcuff that secured his hand to the rails on the cot. “B’sides, you were pushin’ an’ proddin’ on the bruises. That shit hurts, mate.” Frowning, he glanced over at his reflection in the mirror that was secured just above the little sink. Christ, he got tore up, didn't he? One side of his face was scuffed up badly, the other side covered with dark purple bruising. His left eye was completely black and swollen. A few small cuts were noted in his hairline, one of them apparently in need of sutures. He ached all over, the adrenaline come down making him quite aware of the aches and pains and tender spots through-out his body. The nurse who'd seen him just barely a half hour ago even suspected a few broken ribs. In spite of the pain, the broken bones, bruises and swelling, he cracked a grin at the reflection. It had all been worth it. Well worth it. He’d probably catch hell for it but he could handle that. This would probably land him in jail for a spell and probably face some hefty fines, but whatever. It occurred to him that in all his thirty seven years, he'd never spent a day in jail. Not even fined or ticketed for anything.

The doctor glanced over at him and Alec could see his frown melting away. It did have Alec wondering what the old coot was thinking in those moments. Had he treated his mates who’d been brought in along with him? They’d probably all land themselves in jail for this. Or at least two of them, right? The doctor examined one of the cuts just hidden in his hairline before stepping back. “I have t' ask, son, but what instigated this?” he asked, staring at Alec with a raise eyebrow.

Alec shrugged, wincing at the pain in his shoulder. “Kind of a long story, mate.” He frowned, staring at the linoleum floor, at his scuffed and filthy trainers that even had blood on them. His shirt was most likely ruined, torn in several places, some blood there as well. Jeans might be salvageable, but that was it. The bonus was that none of it was his blood. This thought made him smile. He may have been battered and his clothing destroyed, but at least the blood belonged to someone else. Not bad for his manlet arse, right? Bringing his gaze back up to the doctor, he smiled sheepishly. “A real long story.”

The doctor smiled sympathetically, pulling his tray over with the assorted bandages and other materials he required to stitch the wound on Alec's hairline. Grabbing the cotton with the iodine, he leaned in close and started to dab at the cut. “I’ve got time, son.”

Alec uttered a humorless laugh. It was all some soap opera level drama, really. Did he really want to bore this poor bastard with the details? How much did he know at this point anyway? Had he spoken to the others involved? They weren’t arresting Tess also, were they? She hadn’t been involved with the scuffle. How much trouble would Alec and Tess be in over what happened? Tucker was a fucking police officer and he’d been on duty. Well, police officer or not, the sweaty oversized taint had barged into his home and started the whole cock up, so there was that. And apparently the mug had forgotten that Alec wasn’t a pathetic little weakling anymore. “Well, reckon that fucker won’t hit his wife ‘gain, now will he?”

The emergency room doctor smiled grimly as he grabbed the needle and jabbed it into his scalp. Probably some kind of numbing agent so he could work on getting the sutures ready. “I s'pose if it's a consolation, he's goin' t' jail as well,” the doctor whispered. He turned back to the tray, grabbing the other things he needed. “Though you’ll probably be out of jail by the time he’s okay ‘nough t’ be discharged from here so they can take him t’ jail.”

Alec gave a half-hearted shrug as he leaned forward so the doctor could get to work stitching his busted melon up. He just wanted them to finish fixing him up so he could lay down and get some rest. He was fucking exhausted. It had been a long night as it was and he’d already been awake damn near twenty-four hours. He wanted sleep and then maybe access to a bloody phone so he could call his parents. Wait, who was he kidding? They were probably out in the fucking lobby tryng to find out what happened and when he’d be released. Murdoc was probably already harassing the staff to find out where he was. Hell, Alec was surprised the old man wasn’t already barging into his room demanding to know how he’d ended up there handcuffed to the bloody cot with Tucker bandaged up and sedated in the room down the hall. Maybe it was lack of sleep, but Alec actually wanted to see it. His father had a loud fucking mouth and he used it to his advantage. Hopefully someone could fill them in so they wouldn’t wait the whole night. He wasn’t going to waltzing out those doors once they patched him up.

*****************************

**~Six Hours Earlier ~** Adjusting the settings on the hob, Alec examined the pan of simmering food, smiling. A quick check of the clock indicated his guests would be arriving any time. His social life may have been limited due to raising his little arse hat of a son, but he still always managed to find time for his close friends. Ben was spending the night over with Murdoc and Hailey and this gave him a chance to ring his mates and see if they wanted to come over for supper and a few films. Wasn't much, but better than going out and about and getting so pissed, he couldn't think let alone find his way home. He was too old for that nonsense anyway. He had food, good drink, a warm and comforting home, and a soft sofa. Grinning, he rummaged through the icebox and pulled out several cold beers, setting them onto the countertops so he could track down his bottle opener. It occurred to him that maybe his social life truly was suffering with all the demands he had in his life currently. Ben had become snotty and borderline uncontrollable, Alec's time devoted to either work or handling another one of the lad's transgressions at school or the local neighborhood. While he'd been able to indulge in the physical from time to time, that was as far as it went most times. The last female he'd attempted to form an actual relationship outside of sex decided to break things off because he was unable to devote much time to her. His Dad said that was a good thing because Ben came first. Alec had agreed, of course, but it had felt nice to be wanted for once, even if he’d become painfully aware of the fact that it may very well fizzle due to his primary responsibilities.

Whistling, he transported the bottles and bottle opener out to the lounge area, setting them all onto the small coffee table. Back in the kitchen, he retrieved the small cheese and cracker tray, setting it up onto the table with the beers. He took a step back, examining his minor handiwork, happy with the sight. The rest of the flat was cleaned and tidied, all evidence of his bachelorhood and preteen son swept away into their respective bedrooms. No random pair of filthy socks laying around or loose pair of briefs that may have gotten separated from a load of laundry. Good deal. Crossing the short distance to his media shelves, he rifled through his collection of movies until he found a few flicks he thought they might enjoy, setting them beside the movie player and flat screen plasma telly. Everything looked well enough if he thought so himself. Quick sniff of his shirt to ensure the cologne hadn't worn off and he was still smelling like that overpriced nonsense his parents had gotten him for Christmas. He made a final run through the flat, shutting down the hob and throwing a lid over the food and with a huff, he dropped down onto the sofa, waiting for the arrival of his guest.

He didn't have to wait terribly long, maybe ten minutes at the most. Long enough to catch some local news to see what had happened over the course of the week. A knock at the door signaled the arrival of his guests. “Comin'!” he hollered, pushing himself off the sofa. He wasn't sure why he'd taken the effort to fix himself up and fix his place up. He wasn't really trying to impress anyone. But it wasn't often he had female company either, even if she was coming with her husband. Opening the door, he smiled at the woman who stood there smiling back at him. His smile faltered a bit when he realized she was the only one standing there. “Err...where’s Tucker?”

“He had t’ work,” Tessie said, dropping her purse onto the side table and looking around the oddly clean flat. Was she surprised it was clean? He couldn’t really remember the last time she’d been at his place. Been a while, no doubt, but certainly she remembered that he tried to keep it tidy for guests, unlike Ben who had no qualms about inviting over his mates when his room looked like a fucking pit.

“Shame,” Alec muttered, offering one of the bottles of beer. “Made ‘nough food t’ feed all three of us.” Part of him did wonder why she’d come alone. She used to come over all the time but shortly after marrying Tucker, would only come over if Tucker was willing to tag along. Alec never really questioned it, assuming it was some weird married couple etiquette type thing. He couldn’t recall if his parents had been like that but he also realized that using his parents as an example may not have been the best course either. Whatever boundaries Tucker and Tess had made for themselves was between them and him being the mutual mate between them didn’t mean he’d be privy to their more intimate workings.

“So what movies were we gonna watch, mate?” she asked, moving towards the sofa.

“I was thinkin' horror film marathon,” he said with a touch of uncertainty. “ _Child's Play_ remake, move on t' the _Nightmare On Elm Street_ remake an' maybe some original classics from there.” He could feel her staring at him with that smirk. Christ, he felt stupid suddenly. Maybe she wasn’t in the mood for horror movies? Had she lost the taste for them? They used to enjoy this when they were younger, at least that was what Tess, Stu and Murdoc had told him. She had inherited her father's love of zombie flicks and got hooked on the horror genre. There was even a picture at his parents' house that showed a sixteen year old him sitting with the twelve year old Tessie, the two of them staring wide-eyed at whatever it was they'd been watching. Casting a glance in her direction, some of his anxiety melted when he saw her grabbing the _Child's Play_ remake. “You wanna start with that one, Tess?”

She nodded, handing him the movie. “Of course. Shame the guy who did the doll's voice passed 'way,” she said, taking another drink from her beer. “He was a horror movie icon.”

Alec nodded, shoving the disc into the player. “It was a shame. He was one of Mum's favorite actors, apparently. Dad used t’ give her grief ‘bout it b’cause the actor wasn’t the most attractive.” He found himself chuckling at the not so distant memories. “Mum shut him up, though. Pointed out that he himself wasn’t conventionally attractive either...”

“Oh hell, I think I remember that!” she laughed as she shoved crackers and cheese into her mouth. “It was when the actor passed right? Your Mum was mopey ‘bout it for weeks.”

“I think so,” Alec chuckled. It had only been a few years ago, if memory served him right. Murdoc sometimes lacked tact and this had been one of those times. The idea that Hailey had been mourning the loss of someone she’d never met eluded him. She’d been a fan of the actor since she was a teenager. She’d had few joys through her youth and his films had helped. She had tried explaining it once to him, but the stubborn old codger just refused to grasp it. She wasn’t sexually attracted to the actor. She just loved his films. She thought he was a talented actor and that was the extent of it. Murdoc wouldn’t let up on it so she’d laid it out in a way he would understand. _What do looks have to do with it?_ _You’re far from cute and I still fuck you, don’t I?_ Murdoc’s grin had melted then and there and he’d gone off to sulk somewhere. He never bothered Hailey about it again after that.

Turning to the sofa, he threw himself down into the cushions, getting comfortable. Tessie seated herself a bit more graciously, flashing him a friendly smile as she drank from her beer. He kept glancing at her as she put her attention onto the horror film. He was still somewhat baffled that she’d come alone without Tucker. He wasn’t going to make a big deal about it because it was kind of like old times. Before marrying Tucker, they’d hang out often. He’d come to terms with the fact that his memory of their relationship was completely false and had been mostly happy she was still willing to be his mate. The whole situation had been a bit confusing and awkward but they’d gotten past it and Tucker hadn’t been out for his balls so it had been a plus. He’d even been overjoyed when they had announced their plans to marry.

He continued to glance over at her, dully noting that something seemed a bit off. Now that he had a chance to really look at her, there was something about how she looked that didn’t seem right to him. He couldn’t put his finger on it, that was what bothered him the most. Just a strange feeling that she didn’t look like herself. He opened his mouth to point this out, but quickly clamped it shut. Maybe she was feeling a bit under the weather or suffering from allergies of some kind. Women were kind of weird about it when you pointed out how they looked, right? Even if Tessie didn’t take it overly personal, it would still be a bit off putting. “So Tucker had t’ work, eh?” he asked finally.

“Dun' worry 'bout him,” she said quickly and curly. “Let's just enjoy this evenin', a'right?” She returned her attention to the film, a somewhat uncomfortable silence passing between them. He’d meant no harm in the remark. Just trying to make conversation. It was hard to shake the feeling that something more was at play here. She seemed anxious, nervously twisting the fabric of her shirt as she watched the movie flickering across the screen. She kept glancing at her purse before diverting her gaze back to the telly. He watched as she finished her beer, setting the empty bottle down onto the small coffee table, pausing briefly and sniffing at the air like an animal. “What is that I smell?”

“Chicken rigatoni with garlic an' herbs,” he chirped proudly. “Cooked from bloody scratch! Got the recipe from me Mum.” Rising up from the sofa, he wandered into the kitchen and checked on the food. It had been something he’d picked up quite naturally. He rarely had much time to cook big dishes like this, but when given the chance he took it. Strangely enough, he’d found out that this had been one of the few things he’d been able to do without issue prior to falling into the coma. He loved to cook and loved to experiment. The rigatoni dish had been one of his Mum’s more famous offerings through the years and she’d been more than happy to share the recipe with him when he’d asked just days ago. He smiled as he reached up into the cupboards to grab some plates. “There’s ‘nough for two if you’re interested!”

“Oh yes,” she said loudly. “I’m famished.” He emerged from the kitchen and passed her a plate as he reclaimed his space on the sofa. Tessie dived right into it, almost moaning when the first bite hit her mouth. “Good fuckin' god, Alec, this is outstanding!” she gushed, shoveling another forkful into her mouth. Watching her really dive into the dish was enough to send his ego soaring. Manners out the window, sauce on her face, barely swallowing the bite in her mouth before shoveling another forkful in. Despite the poor manners, he couldn’t help but find it strangely beautiful. Okay, so he was having a caveman moment, proud that his culinary skills were so thoroughly enjoyed.

“Thanks!” He grinned through a mouthful of food, fleeting thoughts of wondering if there was pesto in his teeth. They continued to eat in comfortable silence, watching the remake flick and laughing through it. This was nice. The remake wasn’t a good one, the modern take on the classic killer doll flick just not quite sitting right with him. Why had he purchased this again? Maybe Ben had asked for it. He shoved the weird and random thoughts away, focusing on the film and occasionally wrinkling his nose at it. Chasing bites with the beer, he dully noted that his bottle was nearing empty. Rising up from the sofa, he grabbed his empty and gestured at hers. “Would you like 'nother beer?”

Tessie nodded, briefly protesting when Alec grabbed her empty plate and the empty bottle. He knew there were times when she forgot that he had a decent handle on himself. He reasoned this was normal seeing she’d grown up knowing he was disabled in some way. And technically he still was classified as disabled. The tremor in his hands had never gone away, it had merely become more manageable. His legs still felt numb and heavy, but he could walk with a limp. It took a lot of focus for him to be able to walk and use his hands without fumbling. The first few years had been exhausting both physically and mentally, but Physical therapy appointments and exercise had helped him immensely. His cane remained in his room because like or not, he still had days where things got the better of him and he needed help. No harm in admitting this. There was also the fact that he was still classified as having a seizure disorder. He hadn’t had a grand mal since the one that put him in the coma, but the smaller ones still happened. So far he’d been fortunate in that arena because there’d only been two and they’d both struck while he’d been home and laying in bed.

Returning to the lounge with two fresh lagers in his hand, he handed one to Tessie as he dropped back into the sofa and uncapped his. She had started in on the cheese and crackers, munching away as the flick finally came to an end. She’d nestled back into the sofa, amazingly close to him as the credits rolled across the screen. Alec found himself peering at her, wondering what she was thinking. He liked having her close like this. Was that weird of him? Did that make him a creeper? Should he get himself up and change out the film? Yes, yes he should. Setting his lager onto the table, he got to his feet and wandered to the flat screen, quickly changing out the killer doll flick for the dream killer remake. He reclaimed his seat quickly, getting himself comfortable and even shifting so he could get himself another inch or two closer to Tess. Part of him screamed that this was stupid and he was playing with fire, but he could feel her warmth and whatever scent she was wearing was pleasant. She seemed to have no qualms about his closeness. If it made her uncomfortable, she’d say something right? He kept his focus on the flat screen, seeing her shift and move out of the corner of his eye. When her hand slid over his, he felt his breath catch. Okay, this was unexpected yeah? Slowly tangling her fingers into his, squeezing back when he gave her hand a light squeeze. Fuck...fuck....they were just mates right? She was married to his best mate. This was stupid. He was overthinking it. They’d been friends since they were tots so of course there’d be a closeness some may not understand.

When he rolled his head to look over at her, he felt his heart stop when he realized she was staring right back at him and her face was mere inches away. Reason kept kicking and screaming that he needed to back away. Diving into dangerous territory. Tucker may have forgiven you when you snogged her eight years ago, but there would be no going back if you do it again. Stu and Noodle would be angry. His parents would be angry....or would they? Fuck, too many thoughts were swimming around in his head, all of them saying he needed to rethink the vibe he was feeling and back away slowly. She was inching closer and he had yet to move. Her hand was moving, fingers tracing his ear before gliding along the side of his head into his hair. Fuck it all, what was he supposed to do! Another voice was chiming in, distant at first, growing louder the closer she got to his face. Do it. Kiss her. You’ve wanted this for years now and you have your chance. To hell with Tucker and her parents, just fucking do it. Her mouth was on his. He couldn’t move. He couldn’t even breathe. Her mouth was soft, pressing harder. His own mouth moved and he sighed against the kiss, leaning in and bringing a hand up to her face. This was good. This felt right. Parting his lips, feeling the flicker of her tongue. His hand was on her face, thumb massaging her cheek. She leaned in more, her other arm now circling around his shoulders. Holy fuck, he should be jumping for fucking joy right now but part of him held back. He opened his eyes, meeting her her blue eyed gaze and as his hand continued to smooth across her face, her skin felt strange. Make up was being swiped away. A lot of make up. Okay, birds like their make up, no surprise. No, the make up was being rubbed away and beneath the layers of foundation were purple blemishes.

Tessie’s brow knitted together in confusion when he broke away and began to swipe away more of the foundation. It didn’t take long to reveal a big ugly bruise on her cheek and what appeared to be another near her hairline. The one in her hairline was older, more yellow now as it was healing. Alec frowned, shaking his head as he leaned back in the sofa. “What is that?” he asked softly. He was pretty sure he knew the answer. It explained everything, didn’t it? Her distance over the last few years. Tucker’s strange insistence that he be where ever she was. Things Alec had brushed off as mere _couples’ etiquette_. He grabbed a napkin from the table, wiping more away. She was still staring at him, as if frozen in place. Her blue eyes shimmering with tears as he examined the bruising around the side of her face. “Fuckin’ A, Tess, what is he doin’ t’ you?” Sobriety hit like a freight train, his mind now on the marks and how they got there. There was even another one by her ear, mostly hidden by her hair. He didn't want to think that such a thing was possible, but he wasn't blind or stupid. The person responsible was his best mate. A man he’d grown to love as a dear friend, someone he’d known since they were just boys of seven. How could he do this? His family had not been like this, at least not that Alec had ever witnessed. On what fucking planet did this fucking toe rag think this was okay? He narrowed his eyes, reaching out and touching at the mark.

“Dun' worry 'bout it,” she whispered, trying to pull her head away. “It's nothin', mate.” He ignored her protests, leaning in close to look at the bruising. Struggling to control a rising rage he’d never known existed. She kept trying to pull away, shaking her head at him even as he held her face in his hands. “I said it's nothin', Alec,” she insisted.

“Bullshit,” he growled, shoving his beer aside and scooting closer to her. “Lemme see.” Pulling her closer, he peered at the injured side of her face carefully, turning her head slowly with his hands to get a better view of the mark that was almost hidden in her hair. She was blazing hot beneath his touch, her breath hitching now as her eyes peered at him through his fingers. “How long has this been happenin'?” he asked in a low voice, smoothing her hair back.

“Four....five years,” she whispered, her voice straining now with the onset of tears. “It doesn't happen often....only when he gets upset with me for somethin'.” His thoughts were chaos in those moments, torn between wanting to simply hold her tight and wanting to leave the flat and hunt the fucker down. “Dun' worry 'bout it, Alec,” she pleaded. “I just have t' be more careful....” Everything made sense now. Her coming over less and less. No longer taking his calls or immediately passing the phone to Tucker. Only coming over when Tucker was able to come with her. Tucker’s own weird offhand comments about a wife’s responsibility and how it was seen as disrespectful for a wife to visit male friends without their husband. Alec hadn’t given the remark any real thought because he’d never been married and maybe this had been a boundary thing for the both of them.

His brow knitted together. “Why not turn him in, Tess? Bloody hell, woman, he's a police officer!”

“An' that's why it's pointless, Alec,” she whispered. “They won't do a bloody thin' t' him. An' it ends with him hittin' me 'gain.”

Alec uttered a noise of disgust, rising up from the sofa. He started fumbling around for his jacket, yanking it on with a growl and digging his keys from his pocket. Tucker may have been his old school chum, but Tessie had been his best friend since they were just wee kids. And he'd be damned if that fucker thought he could lay a hand on her and think he could get away with it. How did he not see the signs? They’d all been right in his face for the past several years! How could he not have known? How had Tucker kept this side of him so hidden? Christ, Alec had been the best man at their fucking wedding! He'd toasted the bride and groom, happy for them. Six years ago it was and he could still remember seeing their smiling faces. Still remember how beautiful she'd looked. How dashing Tucker had looked. No, it was all a lie. Tucker was a brute behind closed doors. Well, he'd show that nob what a brute really was. He was moving towards the front door, deaf to Tessie's pleas. It wasn't registering in his head, her words nothing more than a foreign language. He had one goal, just one goal. Slam his fists into Tucker's smug fucking face. It wasn't until she grabbed at his arm that he slammed back to earth, staring at her terrified face, the tears now streaming down her cheeks. Her words were breaking through the heat in his mind, now making sense. “Please, dun' do this, Alec.....He'll break you in two......” He shook his head, snarling under his breath. She stepped closer, her hand on his shoulder. Exhaling loudly, he pulled her close, pressing his head against her face, his grip on her hard as he struggled to control his anger. “Alec,” she murmured against his cheek, “I can't let you do somethin' stupid.”

“He dun' deserve you,” he growled, sighing against her neck. “I can't let him hurt you 'gain.” Though he still struggled with the drive to track the fucker down and pummel him, having her pressed so close was calming, the red in his vision receding. He could feel the wetness of her tears as she pressed her cheek against his. The red in his vision was fading, his breathing becoming slow and even. The hand on his shoulder was now on his face, fingers brushing against his ear. She shifted in his arms, mouth now moving along his cheek. Mouth against his again, whimpering and pleading through the kiss to stay there, stay with her. Through the anger still boiling through him came the realization that she was moving him back across the lounge, away from the door, her hands on his belt. Guiding him through the lounge as she continued to kiss him, her tongue slipping through his parted lips. He groaned without meaning to, his hands now on her head, holding her fast. Absent thoughts over the fact that she was taller than him but conscious and civilized thought was fading back, focusing on the feel of her mouth against his, the erection in his jeans and the fact that she was moving him to the sofa. Alec felt the sofa his the back of his calves, his balance suddenly lost to him as he dropped into the sofa cushions, Tessie climbing over his lap. He was aching now, hands shaking so hard, he could barely work the buttons of her blouse. Ever movement of her hips on his caused him to groan into her mouth. Through half lidded eyes, he could see her face, see the ugly bruise that stuck out against her pale skin like a scarlet letter and he found himself pulling her closer, struggling to get his fury in check. Focus on her, focus on this, focus on how good this felt and how good he wanted her to feel. Let her see that this sorry fuck would regret laying a hand on her. Her hands were tugging at his belt, the button fly of his jeans. She paused long enough to draw back, unbuttoning her own jeans and dropped them to her ankles. He pulled her back towards him, rolling so that she was laying back into the cushions, his weight on her now, hands roaming. He kept his primary focus on her mouth, her chin, her throat. “Are you sure you want t' do this?” he whispered hoarsely. She said nothing, only nodding in response, her hands down below, gripping him tightly and drawing him closer. Shoving his jeans down past his hips, he pressed himself close, mouth back on hers again, hands on her face.

This was happening. He was inside her. Hearing her whimpered moans in his ear as he took his time. Mouth back on hers, groaning loudly as she rocked to meet his body. The lounge faded from his vision, focusing on her throat, her face, the flush to her cheeks as clung to him. Things were moving quicker now, harder, panting against her throat, feeling her hands claw into his shoulders as her own moans turned to cries. Gasping, half growling as he worked harder, his blood thundering in his ears as he reached the edge. A shuddering groan escaping from him as he finished, driving into her as hard as he could. The lounge came back into his field of vision and he slowly looked down at her, seeing her smile even as tears stained her cheeks. Cheeks that were pink and flushed. She was trembling beneath him, her eyes glossy with fresh tears. Slowly, he rolled to his side, circling his arms around her, holding her tight to him, pressing his forehead against hers. She was fighting against the tears, taking a shaking breath.

She moved first, sitting up so quickly he initially feared that she had regretted what happened. He watched her cautiously as she went to retrieve her jeans which were still laying in a pile on the floor. He shifted enough to pull his own jeans back up, buttoning them quickly but pulling the belt from the loops and dropping it behind the sofa. Once she was dressed, she curled back against him on the sofa. He found himself dozing, her scent lulling him to sleep. She nestled closer, her head pressed into the hollow between his shoulder and neck. He felt content, peaceful, ready to simply drift off in the comfort of her closeness and warmth. Though part of him nagged bad for a cigarette, he ignored the urge, wrapping his arms around her, burying his face into her hair, feeling her silent sobs subside, her breathing deep and even. He could feel himself drifting off now, the world seeming to fade out around him as sleep started to take over.

A sharp and hard pounding rattled the door on its hinges, both of them snapping awake as the sounds reverberated through the flat. Tessie's face paled, sitting up abruptly when another series of knocks came down, the pictures on the walls rattling and Tucker’s voice booming through the door. “Open the door, Alec! I know Tessie's here! Her car's parked outside!” Scrambling to her feet, Tessie straightened her clothing and hair, looking around the lounge in panic as Tucker continued to pound on the door.

Alec got to his feet, straightening his own clothing. “Turn the movie on,” he whispered. “Pick a scene 'bout half way through.” She did as she was told, dropping down into the sofa and nervously eating at some of the cheese and crackers. Alec was at the door, the edge in his voice clear. “Calm your tits, Tucker. Dun' need t' be so fuckin' loud!” Unlocking the deadbolt, he turned the knob, almost knocked backwards when Tucker burst through the door, glaring at him. Matching glares, Alec bristled at the other man's intrusion into his home. “Oi, take it easy, man! What the fuck!”

Looking around the flat, red faced and almost seething, Tucker’s fiery gaze fell onto Tessie, who was sitting there on the sofa, staring at him with wide eyes. Flashing her a hard look, he gestured towards the door. “Get your shit, woman. Time t' come home.”

Alec frowned, shaking his head. “Since when are you her fuckin' boss? She's a grown woman. If she wants t' spend an evenin' with a mate an' watch a few movies, that's her right.”

“Stay outa this, Alec,” Tucker snapped, wagging a finger at the shorter man's face. “This dun' concern you, man.” He turned his attention back to Tessie, who had still not moved from her place on the sofa. Alec could see the blood vessels bulging in the man’s temple. Tucker uttered a strange guttural noise as he closed in on her, a hand out as if he were going to grab her. “What the hell did I just say?” He froze mid step when Alec was suddenly there between them. “Get outa my way, Alec!”

Alec shook his head, glaring coldly at Tucker and refusing to move. “She's a guest in my home, Tucker,” he said flatly, quickly sizing the larger man up. “She’s not a child you can boss ‘round.” He could feel Tucker’s anger rising, his hazel eyes now fixing on Alec. Was the tosser stunned that someone was standing up to him? Had he gotten so used to getting his way that any opposition now triggered a hair pin temper? “I'm gonna nicely ask you t' leave, mate. Without Tess.”

“Who the fuck do you think you are, Niccals?” Tucker demanded icily. “That's my fuckin' wife, yeah? She does what the fuck I say!” With a snarl, he pushed past Alec, storming over towards Tessie. Snatching her by the arm, he dragged her from the sofa, half shoving her towards the door. “Get your arse in gear!” Turning his attention back to Alec, he leaned close, his face mere inches from Alec's. “You overstepped some boundaries here, man.” Drawing back, he turned to Tessie, grabbing her arm and tugging her towards the door.

She made a noise, tearing her arm free. “Get your hands off me!” His face went scarlet, mouth twisting as he closed in on her, grabbing at her arm and jerking her towards him. The blow came quick and with enough force to knock her backwards against the wall.

There was no conscious thought, no decision to make, no split second to figure out A versus B. Alec simply acted, launching himself towards Tucker and snagging him hard around his waist, flinging him to the ground. They both hit the ground hard, Tucker flailing beneath him as Alec started swinging. Though he could hear Tessie screaming in the background, Alec didn’t care. He had this bastard pinned and he would give as good as he got. Just swing. Sometimes he managed to connect with the mug’s face or body, other times he felt the hard impact of the laminate flooring. He could feel blows hit him as Tucker struggled to fight back. His ears were ringing and one of the blows had his his face hard enough to see stars briefly, but he kept his focus on the man beneath him and continued to swing blows into Tucker. He knew Tucker had the training to do some damage if he relented his attack in any way. Just keep the blows coming and keep him stunned and on the defensive.

The flat and Tessie’s screams faded into the background of blood thundering in his ears and his heat pounding in his chest. Though he was vaguely conscious of the blows striking him, he kept at it. Tucker managed to wriggle out from beneath him and soon they were tackling one another again, the floor leaving his feet briefly as Tucker launched him against the wall. Alec shook his head, momentarily stunned, but quickly threw himself back in, the two of them toppling to the floor again as Alec wrapped his hands around Tucker’s throat, hissing at him as Tucker struggled to pry his hands away. Bucking him off, he flipped onto his stomach, gasping and gagging as he tried to pull himself away, snarling obscenities when Alec climbed back over him and grabbed his belt, hauling him backward. Straddling across him, Alec continued to rain down blows. Tessie was between them suddenly, shrieking at them to stop. Alec froze briefly, looking up at her as she tugged on his arm. Tucker uttered a noise as he flung a right hook towards Alec, missing him and striking Tessie hard. Alec watched as she collapsed to the ground holding her face and sobbing, something snapping in his head. He turned his attention back to Tucker, one hand pinning the man against the floor as the other continued to pummel into his face. “Teach you t' fuckin' hit her,” Alec panted, swinging again and again, Tucker’s blows no longer seeming to have the force behind them they once did. He was panting, gurgling beneath Alec as he spit blood and brought his hands up to push Alec back, feebly pushing against his face. Alec brought his fist back send a straight blow into Tucker’s face, the man’s arms falling to the side limply, his labored breathing the only sound coming from him. Realizing the fight was out of Tucker, Alec slowly got to his feet, now acutely aware of the pain in his head, his hand, his ribs. It seemed unimportant, turning to the dazed Tessie. He was unsteady on his feet, almost falling over as he tried to move towards her, kneeling down clumsily and bracing an arm on the floor to keep himself upright. “You 'kay?” he whispered, cracking a smile through busted and swollen lips, his eye starting to swell shut.

She blinked, staring up at his battered face. “He's gonna kill you when he wakes, y'know,” she murmured, rubbing at the tender spot where his fist had hit.

Alec peered over his shoulder, his expression darkening at the sight of the fallen man. “Doubt that,” he muttered, sitting back and slowly helping her up. From outside, they could hear the sirens. Her screams had probably alerted the neighbors. He looked her over, noting what would most likely turn into a fresh bruise. Nothing worse than brutish displays, but Tucker needed this reality check. You don’t hit someone. Hell, you don’t assume you own someone just because you married them. Christ, how were they going to get out of this. Tucker was still in his fucking uniform. There was a good chance his work mates and superiors would turn a blind eye to the reason behind the fight and just lock Alec up for daring to take on a police officer. Whatever, he’d figure that part out later. Right now, he just needed some ice, maybe some pain pills and a fucking cigarette. “I'm sorry this happened,” he said softly, grabbing his pack of cigarettes from the table beside him and lighting one with trembling hands.

She flashed a sad smile, lowering her head into his shoulder. “I'm not.”

************************

From her place down at the end of the narrow corridor, Tessie could see Murdoc and Hailey coming through the lobby doors of the emergency room, her own parents already there. She had yet to make herself known to them, unsure of just what she could tell them. The nurses had called them to let them know they were all there, but had obviously not given them the details. She could hear their nervous and worried chatter as they tried to figure out who knew what. Part of her entertained just remaining in her chair outside of Alec’s room but she knew their parents would need answers eventually. The question was how much was she willing to share? Easy enough to tell them she’d simply been visiting Alec for some movies and a meal. Could keep it simple, yeah? Tucker had forced himself into Alec’s flat and had struck her, the fight sparking from there. Besides, not even Tucker had known what had happened between them at that point, mostly fired up that she’d dared leave the house when he had expected her to remain home and even more furious that she’d gone to visit a male friend without him there to chaperon. Her parents would ask about the bruises and the truth would come out from there. Paint it with a half truth. Alec had found out about the abuse and was angry so when Tucker forced his way into Alec’s flat and made a scene, it had gone downhill from there. No need to highlight the fact that she and Alec had been intimate before Tucker’s abrupt arrival.

What did that mean now anyway? She frowned, dropping her gaze to her hands. If things continued, it would become obvious to their parents right? Would it be a friends with benefits type situation or would it turn into something more? She wasn’t even sure what she wanted in those moments, still reeling over what had taken place. She knew that the Alec she’d known the last eight years was a world away from the Alec she remembered as a kid, but it hadn’t changed how shocked she’d been at his attack on Tucker. He hadn’t hesitated, even knowing that Tucker had weapons and training. Tucker wasn’t tall, maybe as tall as her, but that was still a solid four or five inches over Alec and his height and size had meant nothing. He never even managed to get an opening to really do more than a few swings into Alec. She’d overheard both Alec and the doctor on rotation talking. He’d taken a few blows to the head, had some cuts that required sutures and one of his hands were broken. They would probably dope him up good before carting him off to jail. Tucker was still pretty much unconscious.

She chewed the side of her mouth, frowning when the emergency room doctor stepped out of Alec’s room, smiling sympathetically at her before veering away and briskly walking towards the room Tucker was being held in. Rising up from the chair, she walked cautiously down the corridor, peering into the semi dark room and seeing Tucker cuffed to the cot with his face bandaged up. Even his nose had been bandaged and his eyes were blackened. She stood in the doorway as the doctor looked everything over before perking his head up and seeing her. “Are you his wife?” he asked.

She nodded, stepping further in the room. She kept her eyes on the motionless figure on the bed. “How bad is it?”

He bent over a small computer, pulling up some things onto the screen. “Broken nose, broken cheek bones, looks like some teeth were knocked out. Found one in the back of his throat. Broken hand.” The doctor’s eyes surfaced from the computerized chart. “Mister Niccals told me what happened. ‘Bout Mister Prescott’s abuse. You got yourself looked at yes? Had pictures taken?” Tessie made a noise, nodding her head. The doctor flashed another smile and slipped out of the room as quietly ad he’d entered.

She seated herself in the chair by the cot. He was probably heavily sedated at this point. May not even wake up before she was left. She would leave with her parents and maybe return to the house she shared with Tucker to gather some belongings. How was it one simply act of defiance against him had finally put into motion what she’d wanted to do for years? She’d not intended to sleep with Alec, but knowing Tucker’s fucked up logic, he would see it as just that. From the cot beside her, Tucker made a noise, startling her from her thoughts. She perked her head up, staring directly at him. He groaned, pulling against the hands that were cuffed down to the rails. She stood up, smiling down at him sweetly, reaching a hand out and resting it against the side of his bandaged head. He grunted, closing his eyes and sighing. She leaned forward, pressing her lips against his forehead before sliding to his ear. He sighed, muttering something she couldn’t quite make out. Smiling at him, she whispered softly. “I’m leavin’ you.” His eyes widened, brow furrowing as he grunted at her angrily. Still at his ear, she nuzzled his cheek. “I will be walkin’ outa here with m’ Mum an’ Dad. I will pack m' belongins' an' I will be gone, but before I go, I want t’ tell you one last thin’...” She exhaled softly, feeling him shift and move in an effort to try and reach for her. “B’fore you showed up...I fucked Alec.” Raising herself upright, she stared coldly down at the bandaged and incapacitated Tucker who was now thrashing against and barking furiously at her.

She exited the room and briskly walked down the hall, pausing at Alec’s room long enough to check on him. He was loopy from whatever they’d given him, but in good spirits, planting a sloppy kiss on her cheek before collapsing into the cot to sleep, murmuring something about the two of them maybe going on a real date or something next weekend. She laughed at this, only because there was little doubt in her mind he’d not remember this and besides, he'd probably end up in jail a few weeks. Slipping out of the room, she veered the corner and started walking towards the lobby, spotting her parents seated side by side. Upon seeing her, they were on their feet, their voices blending together as they both assaulted her with questions, wanting to know what had happened, where had the bruises come from, how did all three of them end up in the emergency room...She took a breath, answering each one the best she could. She didn’t want to get too far into the origin of her bruises while she was there, wanting to talk to them privately at their house. “I went t’ visit Alec an’ watch some films. Tucker found out an’ showed up makin’ a scene. Alec asked him t’ leave an’ it turned in t’ a fight.”

Murdoc and Hailey were approaching her now. She gestured down the hall, assuring them that Alec was okay. He was a little banged up, but he was sleeping now. Talk about a fucking night, eh? She’d reached the point now of just wanting to go home with her parents and sleep for a day or three. Once she was a bit more rested, she would be willing to answer any and all questions about what had taken place, minus a few intimate details, of course. Christ, it felt like a massive weight had come off her shoulders. Maybe she’d just pack up Tucker’s shit and send it to his parents’ house. It was her fucking house anyway, purchased before she had married him. Reclaim her home. Reclaim her life. Give Tucker a taste of what it was like to be at someone’s mercy. File charges, file for divorce. It had been several years of him picking things apart and breaking her down to the point she’d felt trapped and in the length of one night, she’d broken free.


	25. The Good Son

Sitting at his desk, Alec stared at the computer monitor, his eyeballs burning in their sockets behind his glasses, his brain hitting dead end after dead end in its effort to figure out a way around the obstacle. Why did Sherry need the day off again? Wedding? Or was it a bachelorette party? Christ, he didn't know anymore. But he was facing a huge problem. Her request fell right in the middle of another employee's vacation and the shift manager's short day to attend their kids' play. Alec sank back into his chair, rubbing his temples and groaning. Could someone remind him again why he took this position? There was no way to give Sherry the day without it short-staffing them completely. They were already short-staffed as it was. Maybe the store manager would let him work on the floor to fill in. Hell, maybe the store manager could actually get off his arse and do something other than hide in his office? There was a novel idea, yeah?

From the corner of his desk, his cell phone started chiming, indicating he had a message. He grabbed and phone and pulled up the message. _**Dad, you need to call the school**_. Alec stared at the brief message, Sherry's request for time off now forgotten as he tried to figure out just what the bloody hell Ben had done this time. He didn't have time for this shit. How old was the kid now, thirteen? One would think his days of dropping cherry bombs down the school toilets would have ceased when he had faced not only a school suspension, but complete isolation to his bedroom, Alec stripping almost every belonging he could out of there, leaving the adolescent with only his bed and clothes. Alec had even pulled the bed apart and found stashes of skin magazines he most likely had nicked from the little convenience store down the block. So what the hell did he do? He dropped the phone back down to the desk. He wasn't going to bother himself with this right now. He still had four hours to go until his day was over and at this point only wanted to drown his aggravations in a bottle of scotch. Okay, take a deep breath, he silently told himself. Just take a deep breath and worry about this shit when you get out of work. He did as he commanded himself, taking a deep breath and exhaling loudly in the small and quiet office. Actually, maybe some food was in order. A cursory glance at the clock told him it was the middle of the day anyway. Time to eat. Go and hide down the road at the deli for a hour so he could grab a bite to eat and clear his head. Quickly and quietly, he gathered his wallet and phone, slipping out of his office and darting out the back entryway, lighting a cigarette and staring up at the pale blue of the sky. It was too beautiful of a day to bother himself with all of this mess. And though the issue with Ben nagged in the back of his mind, he tapped at his phone with a smile, sending a quick text to Tessie before making a brisk walk down the sidewalk towards the little deli.

It had been a little over three months since that mess between him, Tessie and Tucker. Alec had escaped with only a three week stint in jail and some fines. His saving grace had been the fact that not only had Tucker trespassed into his home, he’d caused a scene and struck Tessie. His brutish actions had saved Alec’s hide completely. Tucker wasn't as lucky. He had just gotten his sentencing last week and was now looking forward to serving eighteen months behind bars, losing his position and ranking within the local precinct and had been served with divorce papers from Tessie in the midst of it all. The mess had also opened up a can of worms within Tucker's superiors as well, some of them now facing investigations over turning a blind eye to the handful of reports Tessie had made against Tucker. The man who thought he could rule over Tessie with an iron fist had lost everything. Alec's only fear at those early weeks in the wake of the fight was losing his home and job, but the universe smiled upon him apparently. Though he did get chewed out by his own superiors, the store manager of the market merely wrote him down on the time sheets as paid time off and the landlord having no clue of his and Ben's three week vacancy. Though Ben had wanted to remain home on his own, Alec had known better. No way in hell. Ben was shipped over to his grandparents' house, ol' Grandad Muds cackling with glee over the free labor he now had on hand, Ben's punishment for super gluing three quarters of the student body's lockers shut at his school.

So here it was now, three and a half months later, and things seemed to have finally started to get back to normal. Tessie had become a regular visitor at his flat, the home that she and Tucker had once shared too big and empty. Initially, he thought it had to do with memories of abusive cunt, but found that she truly just felt lonely being there. Alec made a point to go over there when he could, sometimes feeling strangely vindictive about fucking her on what had once been the bed she shared with her husband. Fleeting moments of guilt even, those mostly little more than afterthoughts after the act. Besides, she was adventurous and he liked that. Sure, maybe he should have felt a twinge of guilt over shagging her on that bed, but once he was balls deep into her, he didn’t give a shit. And they shagged a lot. He wasn’t going to complain because this was the most tail he’d gotten in forever. She surprised him again and again with the things she wanted to explore. Feeding into an ego he didn’t even realize he had. For months now, just shagging and shagging, allowed to access every part of her as she moaned and screamed for more. Sometimes getting so loud and rowdy, the neighbors on the other side of the bedroom wall would pound on their side, bellowing at them. He’d never encountered anything like this and his synapses were firing left and right. He was pretty certain his brain had short circuited the first time he’d walked into the bedroom to find her standing there, stark naked and demanding he bend her over the dresser and fuck her while using the toy in her arse.

And while the sex has been fucking epic, they actually did go out on real dates and little outings. They had even made a date night of stripping the house of Tucker’s presence, boxing every last bit of it away and shipping it to his parents' home. Alec had even lent a hand in repainting and helping her pick out new furnishings so she could reclaim the home as hers once again. Within a month, her little attached house in the suburbs was hers again. They’d made sure there wasn’t a single scrap left of Tucker. Her soon to be ex in-laws did show up wanting an explanation, but Tessie had nothing more to say to them. She’d tried to tell them what was going on, but they had refused to believe it. Alec had remained out of sight for that conversation, knowing damned well Tucker probably had already filled them in on her indiscretion. He had no reason to be in the middle anyway, even if nothing had happened between them. He couldn’t help but feel a little poorly about that because he knew Tucker’s parents weren’t bad people. Just in some next level denial over the beast their son had become. It still baffled Alec as to how Tucker came to be that way. Even Tessie said his parents were never like that. Was it possible influence from those he worked with? Stupid questions he needed to quit asking himself because Tucker was no longer part of the equation and soon Tessie would be divorced from him so she could really move forward with her life.

Tessie’s parents, Stu and Noodle, were still trying to wrap their brains around how she'd gotten herself into such a relationship. The first month, they had barraged the poor woman with questions that seemed overly personal and prying to Alec. It was clear this was not something she wanted to discuss, happy to simply be free of it and ready to move forward. Alec probably knew more than they did, but he wasn't going to volunteer any information. He knew that things between her and Tucker were good during their dating years and even the first year or so of their marriage. She said that looking back, there were little things she'd noticed, but had brushed them off for one reason or another. It had started with guilt trips over minor things, like wanting to go and visit her parents, visit Alec or even pop over to see Murdoc and Hailey. From there, it had progressed to refusing to want to leave the house for things, not wanting her to leave the house when he was at work. Cell phones so he could keep tabs on her. Freaking out if she was out and about when she “should have been at home”. Apparently, he'd even gone as far as to have some of his other friends in the precinct watch her from afar, following her during her errands and reporting back to Tucker. It was during an argument about her coming and going as she pleased that he had gotten violent. She had told him she was free to do as she wished, she was not a child. Tucker had snatched her by the throat, slamming her into the wall, letting her know that her place was in the home and she was to do as he said. Tessie didn't like thinking about it or talking about it. She just wanted to move on, plain and simple.

Their parents appeared supportive of the relationship, not that either of them expected blessings from their parental units. Neither he or Tessie shared what had happened prior to the fight, both wanting to save themselves the possible lectures, but it was obviously no secret that they had gotten closer. Alec was almost certain that their parents speculated over when things had started, though. They'd be stupid not to considering Alec and Tessie did nothing to hide it. If her parents had a negative opinion, they were kind enough to keep it to themselves. Noodle was mildly apprehensive but Stu seemed mostly accepting of the relationship. Alec did wonder if this acceptance came from the fact he’d put her abuser in hospital. His parents – particularly Murdoc – were absolutely delighted they’d gotten together. Alec found out that his father had been kind of hoping they would get together at some point because they’d meshed well together, even as kids. Ben, on the other hand, found the relationship weird since they'd all been friends or whatever. Loudly gagging, scoffing and rolling his eyes whenever he stumbled upon the two of them too close together for his adolescent comfort. But he also complained loudly about how lewd his grandfather was, sometimes sharing what he'd seen and overheard to whatever audience was on hand, taking great joy in the clear discomfort Alec felt over hearing this information.

His phone chimed again, bringing his mind back to the present matters, dully noting another message from Ben: _**Dad, you NEED to call the school now!**_ Muttering under his breath, Alec pulled up the school's number on his contact list, listening to the ringing phone on the other end. A woman picked up, her voice now all too familiar. “Bridgedale Prep, this is Casey.”

“Casey, it's Alec. Ben's father. Is there somethin' I need t' know?” He felt a moment of dread when she muffled her end of the line, saying something to someone else. Christ, now he was wondering just what Ben had done. She normally just outright said it or put him through to the director.

A male got onto the line, another familiar voice, the director of Bridgedale. “Alec? Hey, mate, it's Jared. Can you come down here by chance?”

Alec felt his heart sink, a low groan erupting from him. “Err.....I suppose I can, Jared. I dun' suppose you could tell me what this is 'bout, can you? Just so I have a head's up?”

“I'm 'fraid I can't, Alec,” the director said solemnly. “We need you down here. Ben is a'ready sittin' outside the office.”

Alec gritted his teeth, pausing just outside the entrance to the deli. “Gimme fifteen.” After exchanging their goodbyes, he slid the phone into his pocket, pushing his way into the deli. Well, there went the rest of his day, right? Might as well just grab his sandwich, go back to the market and let the manager know he was taking the rest of the afternoon off to deal with his rotten little son and go face the firing squad. It must have been bad for them to not even want to discuss it over the phone.

After ordering his sandwich and paying, he ventured back out and made his way back to the market, briskly walking through the main entrance. Some of the clerks perked their heads, one of them cocking an eyebrow and muttering “Ben again, most likely” before returning their attention back to the order they were ringing through the register. They had all become pretty familiar with Alec’s frequent comings and goings. Maybe this was a sign things had gotten out of hand with Ben? Trying not to think too much into it, he shot through the double doors that led to the stock room and towards the hallways beyond that led to the administrative offices. The main office was occupied by the store manager, Ivan. Rapping on Ivan's door, Alec poked his head in. “Ivan.....hate t' ask you this 'gain....”

“But you need t' take time off t' deal with Ben at school, yeah?” Ivan laughed, his back to the door. The big man was seated at his desk, the chair turned and facing out the window. “You have 'nough personal holiday, Alec. It's not a big deal, mate. But may I suggest a reform school for the lad?”

“I'm startin' t' seriously consider it, Ivan,” Alec said, laughing humorlessly. “I think it's bad this time 'round. They won't even tell me what he's done.”

Ivan turned, the large man looking red and swollen in his cheap suit and badly combed over hair. “That so? An' switchin' the mornin' announcement recordin' with his grandfather's _Pirate Radio_ wasn't that bad?” He let out a belly shaking chuckle, the smile on his face warm and friendly. “Well, maybe not. It was pretty bleedin' funny, though, gotta give him that!”

**********************

The young man remained seated on the sofa, his head lowered and eyes on his trainers when Alec stalked into the kitchen to sort his head out. No doubt he knew he was in deep deep shit because Alec couldn’t remember being this angry. And he was beyond thankful Murdoc wasn’t here because that man would make so many fucking jokes, you wouldn’t be able to keep a straight face no matter how serious the situation was. Alec peered around the walls of the kitchen, making sure Ben was still where he had been told to sit. As soon as they'd walked into the flat, Alec had all but shoved the boy towards the sofa with threats of bodily harm if the boy moved even one muscle from that sofa. Caught between utter embarrassment and fury, he went straight to the kitchen and cracked open a bottle of Fanta he’d picked up on the way home, slugging it back in a few swallows before finally taking a few breaths and regaining his composure. Uttering a noise of disgust, he raked his hand through his hair, sinking back against the counters. “Care t' tell me just what the fuck you were thinkin', Ben?” he demanded hoarsely.

“Dunno,” Ben muttered from the lounge. Alec stepped out of the kitchen, narrowing his eyes on the young man. He _didn't know_? Didn't know! What the kid stupid or truly ignorant? Was he completely clueless? He was facing expulsion, for Christ's sake! Suddenly, Ivan's suggestion of a reform school didn't seem like such a bad idea. An all boys reform school, run by drill instructors. Not a bird in sight. There was a grand idea! Ben made a noise, staring up at Alec. “It just happened.....”

“It _just happened_ , eh?” Alec erupted into laughter, shaking his head in disgust. “Just happened? Somethin’ like that dun' _just happen_ , Ben. You shoulda had 'nough common sense t' back 'way. Not that hard.”

“An' what 'bout you, Dad?” Ben asked coldly. “You didn't back 'way, did you? All ‘lone with a married woman an’ before you know it, you two are shaggin’ left an’ right.”

“This isn't 'bout me, Ben,” Alec growled, rubbing his temples. “B'sides, I'm a grown fuckin’ man. I'm emotionally an' financially prepared t' deal with the consequences of my actions.....You're thirteen. Not even remotely close.”

“I'm sure the magistrate will love t' hear that durin' Tessie's divorce,” Ben chuckled. “Especially when they find out you an’ your former best mate fought over a bird like a pair of wild animals.”

“Get the fuck off it, boy!” Alec snapped. “What happened between me, Tucker an’ Tess isn’t part of this conversation an’ is a lot more complex than you could understand.” Why were they even discussing this because it had zilch to do with the situation at hand! This wasn’t about him, Tessie and Tucker. This was about his son acting a fool with some bird at school and getting his sorry arse caught.

“How is it different though?” Ben asked, his mocking tone gone. “Tessie was married. She still is married. An’ ever’times I see you two together, you’re bein’ all kissy face. Somethin’ happened that led t’ you an’ Tucker gettin’ in t’ a massive fight. You put yourself in a bad situation an’ got caught too.”

Alec opened his mouth to protest, his agitation rising. No, he couldn’t get upset. He knew exactly how it all looked to outsiders. Nobody was there when the fight happened so the actual reasons behind the fight were a mystery. Not even Murdoc was aware of all the details surrounding that night and he’d drilled Alec relentlessly for this information. Sighing, he knelt down, his face level with Ben’s. “You wanna know what happened? Will that make you shut your hole ‘bout it for more than five seconds?” When Ben nodded slowly, he continued. “They were both s’posed t’ come over that night. Tess came ‘lone. After a few hours, she told me ‘bout what Tucker was doin’ t’ her. He was hurtin’ her. Not long after, he showed up an’ made a scene. Hit Tessie right over there by the door. He an’ I got in t’ a fight ‘bout it an’ I won.”

Ben frowned, scanning his face over carefully. “Then why are you two all over each other now? Like, literally right after you got out of jail, she was there. I like Tessie, Dad, dun’ get me wrong, but the way you two were actin’, it makes ever’one think that the source of the fight might have been somethin’ else.”

“They can believe what they want,” he said with a huff, rising from the floor. “All that aside, we’re adults, Ben. I’m almost thirty-eight an’ she’s thirty-three. We’re both old ‘nough t’ handle it all.”

“Even watchin’ Tucker try t’ paint Tessie as a cheatin’ whore?” Ben asked softly. “I’ve overheard ‘nough t’ know you two did somethin’ an’ Tucker found out.”

“I’m not gonna get in t’ this an’ further,” Alec said with a shake of his head. “My situation is an adult situation. You dun’ need t’ worry ‘bout me. We’re talkin’ ‘bout what _you_ did, yeah? A stupid thin’. You’re nowhere near mature 'nough t' handle the baggage that comes with sex. An' at the school toilets of all places! Who the hell shags in the bloody toilets an'more!”

“Grandad,” Ben said, a snorting laugh escaping from him.

Alec's stern expression cracked momentarily, the smile fighting at the corners of his mouth. He backed away from Ben, moving back towards the kitchen to fetch a beer. Maybe that side trip to the store for a bottle of something harder should have been more seriously considered, but he had been so upset over what had happened, he had gone straight home after talking with the school and picking Ben up. He remained in the kitchen for a long moment, feeling a snorting laugh escape. Okay, he walked himself right into that one. Everyone knew the story of Murdoc and the toilets. But unlike Ben, Murdoc had been a fucking adult then too. This wasn’t about adults acting like fools. It was about a boy only in year eight who decided he wanted to shag a bird in the school toilet and got himself caught. Had Ben been a few years older and chosen a very different location, this wouldn't have been such a big deal other than some serious discussion about taking care of himself. Alec could probably handle it better if Ben had been fifteen or sixteen. He himself had known plenty of school mates who’d been intimate with their partners by then. But not at thirteen. Thirteen! Who had sex at thirteen?

“You were only five years older than me when you an' Mum started shaggin',” Ben said in a matter of fact tone. “So I dun' see what the big bleedin' deal is.”

“Eighteen is still a far fuckin' cry from thirteen, Ben,” Alec sighed as he scrubbed his hands across his face. He’d been fighting a headache since picking the boy up. Strange phantom like pains in the back of his head and a weird buzzing or ringing. “I was able t' work, handle me own livin' arrangements had somethin' happened sooner with your Mum. What would you be able t' do? Mow a few lawns for a few pounds each over in your Grandparents’ neighborhood? Clean an' do your other chores for that allowance you never seem t' wanna earn?” Alec stepped back out into the living room, sinking down into the chair that flanked the sofa. “You're not emotionally mature 'nough t' handle it, Ben. I can't stress that 'nough.”

Ben's brow furrowed, his dark eyes scanning his father over carefully. “I think I am.”

“Please, dun' argue with me 'bout this,” Alec groaned, covering his face. “You did a stupid thin'. Astronomically stupid. The girl's parents are irate, Ben. If they could, they woulda pressed charges of some kind.....An' that is not somethin' I want t' deal with an' certainly not somethin' you need right now.” Fuck, his head hurt. And the buzzing wouldn’t seem to go away. It seemed to be getting louder and louder, overtaking the noises around him. He scrubbed at his face, peering over at Ben, who was staring back at him. Phantom pains growing more and more real. Lingering since the phone call with the school. Lingering since he’d spoken with the school director upon retrieving Ben from their offices. Lingering since his aggravation and stress levels started to escalate. And now this blasted buzzing. It almost made it feel like his head was vibrating. “I guess my next question here is how long you've been involved with that girl.....” His voice seemed to be echoing in his head. He gritted his teeth against the pain and unpleasant sensations, straining to keep his focus on Ben. “You never told me you had a girlfriend.”

“Few weeks,” Ben muttered softly, examining his Dad's face closely. “We share a math class. I dunno why we decided there at the school. We decided we were ready an' the lady's toilet was the only place we could think of. Her mates guarded the door.” His brow furrowed when Alec braced a hand against the side of his head. “Dad? Dad, what's wrong?”

“Dun' worry 'bout it right now,” Alec said through a heavy breath, his eyes glazed as he looked up at Ben. “I'm just not feelin' well at the moment.” The unpleasant vibrations in the back of his head were intensifying, the buzzing now almost deafening. A cold spasm whipped through him, his throat reacting and his stomach protesting as it twisted. Lunging forward, he let out a few choking gasps, now staring at Ben's feet, his vision blurring. He knew this feeling now. It had been years, so many years in fact, his doctor had quit prescribing the medications he'd once been taking regularly. He uttered a groan, struggling weakly to his feet, gesturing towards the phone. “Call......call.....I need yeh t' call someone,” he muttered thickly, his voice barely heard in his head. His legs quaked under the weight of his body, everything fuzzing over, Ben now staring at him with wide eyes, his words unheard as the white took over and the dull numbness set in.

*********************

Ben stared in horror as Alec crashed to the ground. The whites of his eyes were the only thing visible, his arms folded up into his chest, the muscles taut as he thrashed hard against the floor. Ben found himself unable to move, unable to react. Though this was something his grandparents had warned him of, prepared him for, now faced with seeing it first hand was terrifying. The last time had been maybe four or five years ago when the two of them had been lounging around watching a movie. It had been so brief that Ben hadn’t even realized anything had happened until his father had said something and his voice had been a little slurred. Maybe they'd both grown too confident about it. His Dad had been doing so well. The doctor didn't even make him take his medications anymore and hadn't in a few years!

Staring at Alec’s prone body on the floor, still thrashing, something snapped within his brain and he shoved the coffee table away, clearing the floor-space around Alec. He wasn't sure just how large of a radius he needed. Dad was laying mere feet from the sofa, but the table was now clear. And what about his head? Did he need to put a pillow under him or anything? He reached down, grabbing the back of his Dad's shirt, pulling him as far from the sofa as he could, trying to ignore the foamy spittle that dripped from Alec's partially open mouth. Unconscious of the tears that were welling in his eyes, he grabbed the phone and dialed his grandparents' number, the familiar husky voice of his Gran picking up the line. “Hello?”

“Gran!” he cried out, his voice cracking through a sob. “Gran, Dad's havin' a seizure!” From her end of the line, he could hear her speaking with someone else, most likely Grandad. Ben wiped furiously at his eyes, curling against the chair, his eyes still on the his father who was still jerking like a puppet being tugged around by a bored kid. “I dunno what t' do!” he wailed.

Murdoc's voice came onto the line. “Did you clear 'way the space 'round him?”

“Yes,” Ben sobbed.

“How long has it lasted?” he asked gruffly.

“Dunno,” Ben whimpered as he wiped at his nose. “Minute....maybe less.”

“Right then...Hailey’s callin' for help, Ben,” he assured the boy. “Just stay there with him in case he comes 'round before they get there, you hear? He might not be very clear headed when he comes t', so you're gonna have t' try t' keep him there an' keep him still until they get there.”

Ben made a noise, wiping at fresh tears. A sinister thought ran through his head, something that made the tears burn hotter and his throat squeeze down tighter. His Dad was upset and stressed out over what he'd done. What if this was his fault? What if he was the cause? This wouldn’t have happened if his Dad wasn’t so worked up over him getting in trouble. “This is my fault,” he whispered, more to himself. “He was mad at me. If he hadn’t been mad at me...”

“Ben, dun' start that,” Murdoc said bluntly. “This was prone t' happen 'gain at some point. Dun' blame yourself, boy.” He cleared his throat, saying something to Hailey that Ben couldn't hear before getting back on the line. “Help is on the way over there. Hailey's gonna head over t' pick you up. I'll meet you both at the hospital, a'right?”

The line went dead and Ben dropped his hand to the floor, letting the phone slide away from him. He slowly turned his attention over to Alec, who was too still for his comfort. Everything just seemed oddly calm and quiet suddenly. From his curled position on the floor, Alec started to move, muttering incoherently. Ben perked his head up, half crawling towards him. “Dad? Dad, you hear me?” Alec's eyes were open, but distant and glazed still, his lips barely moving. The small puddle of foamy vomit was just inches from his mouth and nose, but he seemed unconcerned with it. Ben slowly backed away, wondering if maybe it was best to let him lay there until he got his bearings. From what he'd overheard from his grandparents and from Dad's doctor, there was a few times where he'd have no memory of what happened or had come around confused and frightened. It had been common to see the latter when his Dad was a kid, sometimes coming out of it in such an agitated state, more than once his parents had resorted to restraining him on his bed.

Still mumbling, Alec began to reach around the floor with his hands as he struggled to push himself up. Ben watched, frozen in place as his father uttered a strange sigh before sinking back to the floor. His speech was slurred, too garbled for Ben to make out was he was trying to say. Glazed green eyes that kept shooting over to him before dropping back to the floor. He raised his head slowly, peering at Ben strangely. He was trying to talk, his mouth working hard though the words could barely come out. Ben crawled back over to him, his hand on his back. “It’s ‘kay, Dad,” he assured him. “Got help comin’.” Alec nodded, closing his eyes and exhaling softly. Ben continued to massage his back, hating the fear and panic that still threatened to tip him over the edge. Watching his father jerk on the floor like that had been horrifying. He couldn’t imagine watching this happen time and time again like his grandparents had told him about. Did this mean there was a chance it could happen again and again? Aside from the bitter smell of the vomit, he could smell something else and realized that his father had lost control of his bladder. Fucking hell, this couldn’t be happening. There was no way he was prepared to deal with this if it was going to be a common thing. No, he told himself. It won’t be a common thing. Dad was stressed out and angry. He’d also taken some blows to the head when he’d gotten into that fight with Tucker. This was bound to happen again at some point. Even Gran and Grandad had told him this. Grand mals were unpredictable and even if his father hadn’t been stressed out and upset, it could very well have hit. Just be thankful he was home and not behind the wheel of the car.

From the open balcony door, he could ear the sound of tires crunching against the pavement four floors below and the sounds of vehicle doors, feet and some voices. Curling back against the chair, he stared at the unlocked front door, hearing the thunder of feet in the stairwell beyond. And in the midst of all those voices, he could even his his Gran, talking rapidly with the emergency workers. Bless Gran. Her memory still sharp as a razor, rattling off what medications he'd taken, known allergies (Dad was allergic to bee stings?) and who his primary care doctor was. The empty and quiet flat was suddenly filled with numerous bodies as the emergency workers circled around Alec, one of them setting up the cot. Hailey's head emerged from the crowd of young men in their dark green uniforms, smiling over at Ben as she got to her feet and skirted around them, bending down beside the boy. “You did good, Ben. You did good.” She ushered Ben to his feet, the two of them now staring as the men pulled Alec onto the cot, Alec now muttering and protesting, arms now flailing out as he tried to push them away. Still too weak and dazed to put up much fight, his efforts were in vain, the emergency workers quickly and efficiently restraining himto the cot.

Ben found himself staring at the floor, at the small puddle of vomit, the emergency workers ushering the cot through the doors, lifting it to get down the stairs, gone now. Hailey wandered to the bedrooms, gathering what Ben could only assume were things she felt both he and his Dad needed since it was clear they'd be out of the flat for a day or two. Everything seemed to be moving in a blur, following behind his grandmother at a few paces as she led him downstairs to her car. The ambulance was already gone, only the flashing lights in the distance visible as it sped down the road to the hospital. Soon he was sitting in the passenger seat of the car, watching the city speed by his window, the drive not seeming that long. He didn't know what to think or feel really. Would this mean they'd have to go and live with his Dad's parents? Would it mean his bitch mother would try to get custody of him again since his Dad was currently incapacitated? What about their lives, in general? Would his Dad lose his driving papers? His job? And what about this whole thing he had going on with Tessie? What did this mean for her and his Dad? Sure, it was weird as hell to see them together, but it was hard not to admit that they both seemed quite happy and seeing his Dad happy had made him happy.

Hailey cast a sideways glance at Ben, who had been silent through the drive, staring out the window. “You alright there, hon?” He knew he’d been too silent through this, but he had so much on his mind. She reached out and gave his shoulder a squeeze, smiling at him but he could see the worry etched deep in her soft wrinkled face. “Ben, he'll be okay. Doctor's gonna have to run a scan or two to make sure there's nothing there, but he'll be up and about within a day or two.”

“This is my fault, Gramma,” he murmured, pressing his forehead to the glass. “Dad was upset 'bout some stuff I did at school. He was tired, he was stressed out, he was angry.....I know it's my fault.” He could feel the tears threatening again. He wasn't going to let her see him cry. Nothing they could say or do would make him believe otherwise. His Dad was perfectly fine until he had to come and deal with his good for nothing kid again. He picked up the silence on her end, feeling her hand rest on his leg. The rest of the drive was silent save for the radio and for this, Ben was grateful. His afternoon delight with Fiona in the girls' toilet was long forgotten, the fear and anger at his Dad for making such a big deal about it now seeming ungrateful and petty. He was a horrible kid. His Dad busted his arse and had lost so much and yet Ben had given none of that any thought while he terrorized his instructors and gave his Dad more grey hair than men twice his age.

The drive to the hospital was mostly uneventful. Gran parked quickly and the two of them rushed inside to find Murdoc, Amy and Tessie already there and his father being hauled into a room followed by half a dozen different doctors and nurses. Snippets of conversation around him told him that something was wrong. Alec was having trouble moving and his speech was still really slurred. At some point, Ben found himself being ushered over to some chairs to sit down. He just wanted to know that his Dad was going to be okay. There was no reason to shut him out of this. He wasn’t a little kid!

Hours passed. Ben had lost track of time, dozing here and there as everything unfolded around him. He opened his eyes, seeing Amy now sitting in some chairs across from him. They were the only two out in the corridor now, everyone else apparently in Alec’s room. Mum, Dad, Tessie and the neurologist who'd been working closely with Alec over the last eight years. He could hear his Dad finally talking, but he didn’t sound right. He sounded drunk, slurring frequently as he tried to talk to those in the room with him. Ben frowned, looking back over at Amy, who was trying to smile. “You 'kay there, mate?” She frowned when he simply shook his head, lowering his head. “Your Dad will be fine, Ben,” she assured him. “It usually takes a few days for him t’ get back t’ normal after big ones like this.”

Ben slowly raised his head, his eyes red and puffy from crying silently. He wasn't blind, deaf or stupid. He knew something was wrong. He could hear his Dad talking, but he could also hear Gran and Tessie crying. This wasn’t going to be something Alec could just walk away from unscathed. And he dreaded when the time would come to go in there himself and face his Dad, knowing that he was the one responsible for this. It took everything in his power to not simply get up and leave, go back to the flat he'd shared with his Dad, pack up his sparse belongings and simply leave. His Dad didn't need this kind of stress. Better off if he simply left so his Dad could recover, not stress over his stupid kid and move on with his life. “He’s not gonna be ‘kay, Amy. They’re talkin’ ‘bout keepin’ him in here for observation for a few weeks. If it was nothin’, they wouldn’t be holdin’ him here for a few weeks.”

“Look, he had a grand mal, Ben,” Amy said, shaking her head. “He hasn’t had a grand mal since he’d been in the coma. It’s his first major one in a long time an’ I bet they’re only holdin’ him that long t’ make sure it isn’t gonna be a repeat thin’ like it used to be.” When Ben merely rolled his eyes with another shake of his head, Amy uttered an irritated sigh. “There's a'ways a chance he's not gonna fully recover afterwards, Ben. Or at least not as quickly as he used t’.”

Ben didn’t want to hear it. Nothing changed the fact that this was his fault. He’d been the prat who drove his Dad mental with his shenanigans. Dad had sacrificed so much to try to make a life for the two of them and he’d finally found someone to make him happy and what does Ben do? Another stupid thing to add to a list of stupid things. Causing his Dad stress. Making him angry. Look where it landed him. First massive seizure in damned near a decade and he’d been the fucking trigger. And now his Dad was damn near incapacitated and probably would never be the same again and it was all his goddamned fault!

The sound of a door opening made both Amy and Ben look up, seeing the neurologist slip out of the room, flashing the two of them a sympathetic smile. Just behind him, Murdoc stepped out, looking tired and worn out, glancing over at Ben before directing his attention to Amy. “We're gonna let Ben in first, Amy.” Amy merely nodded as Ben got to his feet and followed Murdoc into the narrow and stuffy room. Ben looked around the room, seeing Hailey seated in a chair on the far wall and Tessie seated in a chair by Alec's cot. Laying on the hospital cot, Alec looked pale, sunken and exhausted. Upon seeing Ben, he flashed a smile, raising his hand up and gesturing for the boy. Ben approached the bed slowly, his eyes glancing over at the wall with the chart light, the X-rays and scans of his Dad's skull still there. “How're you feelin'?” Ben asked, trying not to focus on Alec's left eye, which looked dilated and clouded. Though he knew his Dad had lost the sight in that eye years ago, he couldn't recall ever seeing it look like this.

Alec's face flushed red, his mouth working slowly, talking clearly taking a great effort on his part. “Good....sore....Can't feel leg.” He frowned, struggling to form the words. “Gonna go an' stay with grandparents for a few weeks. Doc says.....” He took a breath, sinking back against the pillows. “Doc says stay here for few weeks. Then go home.”

Ben shook his head, feeling tears spring to his eyes. He wiped at them furiously, not wanting them to see him cry. He couldn’t cry. He had no right to cry about this. He’d caused this! “I’m sorry,” he whimpered, grasping at Alec’s hand. “I’m sorry I did this t’ you, Dad.”

Alec shook his head, his words coming out in a choked whisper. “Not your fault. Never your fault.”

Hailey’s voice broke through the chaos of his thoughts. “This one was bad, Ben, but it’s not your fault. The doctor thinks the fight he got into a few months ago may be the larger culprit. He took several hard blows to his head that night.” She blinked back tears, looking over at the X-rays and scans. “I was really hoping this was all long behind us.”

“He'll be fine,” Murdoc insisted. “Just needs time t' recover.” He dropped down into a vacant chair, rubbing the back of his neck with a groan. He suddenly looked very old to Ben. He’d always looked old, but seeing him now, hunched over in the chair with the fluorescent lights shining down on him, it seemed to accentuate every wrinkle, every fold of his skin, even his scalp shining through the thinning white hair. Everyone looked aged and tired. Ben reasoned this was probably normal. Even his Dad looked old, which he’d never really considered before. He’d been going grey since his early thirties and it was all too obvious now under the harsh lighting. Dark hair with splashes of steel grey, his beard mostly silver.

He stood there, unsure of what to do or what to say suddenly. Though he was assured he hadn’t been the cause of this, he still couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d been to blame. Tessie stood up from her place by the cot, leaning in to kiss Alec’s cheek. “I know you can do this, Alec. Use this time t’ rest.” When she passed by Ben, he felt her hand on his shoulder. Might as well been a silent command. He turned and trailed behind her as she exited the room, leaving his Dad alone with Murdoc and Hailey. Once out in the hallway, Tessie stopped by Amy, her hand on the woman's shoulder. Without saying a word, Amy got to her feet and ventured into the room, shutting the door behind her, leaving both Tessie and Ben alone out in the corridor. She took a breath, turning to look at the young man. “If stayin' with your grandparents isn't sittin' well with you, you're welcome t' stay at my house, Ben. It's more than big 'nough.”

“I dunno what I want,” Ben said in a low voice, shoving his hands into his jean pockets. “I dun' mind bein' over there, but it's far from school....Far from me mates.” He smirked, his dark eyes flashing up at her through his dark bangs. “An' Grandad is kinda rude, if you catch m' meanin'.”

Tessie erupted into a snorting laugh, patting Ben's shoulders. “Oh, I know....I know. I could share some horror tales 'bout that man, Ben.”

Ben cracked a smile. “So, you plan on puttin' up with me Dad, even with all this.” He gestured around them. “Mum decided this shit was all too much in the end. Ran out on us.”

“Well, how long have I known you an' your Dad?” she asked with raised eyebrows. “All my life. I haven't gone an'where yet, now have I?” She reached out, smoothing his hair off his forehead. He stared back at her, wanting to challenge her. Dad hadn’t had a lot of luck in the whole dating department so he had his doubts Tessie would stick around for long. He was aware of two that broke things off with his Dad over lesser things than this. She’d known his father his whole life, though, so there was that. Tessie and his father had practically grown up together. Some of Ben’s own earliest memories included Tessie being in the mix. And strange as it was, seeing them together now felt right. She smoothed his hair back again, still smiling. “I love your Dad, y’ know.”

All Ben could do was nod his head. Though he still questioned Tessie’s commitment in the wake of seeing his father at his weakest, he knew there was something there between her and Alec, even if he didn’t want to admit it. He slumped down into one of the vacant chairs. “I know you do,” he muttered in a matter of fact tone. “Not gonna lie, this whole thin' you an' Dad have goin' on still weirds me out, Tess.....But I'm kinda glad you're here.”


	26. Unhinged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: DOMESTIC SITUATION, CHILD ABUSE, ETC

Hailey perked her head up from the barren patch of dirt, her attention taken from the few small sprouts of weeds to the house in the distance. From within the house, she could hear their raised voices and somewhere in the mix, she could even hear Tessie trying to get between them. Sighing, she sank back onto her heels, brushing her hair from her face. She had been sensing this coming for a few days now, the sullen and angsty Ben doing everything in his power to trigger Murdoc's wrath and mouth. Why do they do this to each other? It was like some sick game for both of them, it seemed. Ben knew what buttons to push and Murdoc was always looking for a reason to bitch about things. And poor Tessie, getting flung into the middle of this, trying in vain to referee. Becoming a never ending cycle of yelling, slammed doors, cold shoulders and befuddled stares.

With Alec still in the hospital and unable to rein in his adolescent son, the boy had run amok. Though Tessie had offered her home for the lad while his father recovered, both Alec and Murdoc insisted it was best the boy stay with Murdoc and Hailey. He was in enough trouble as it was for the shit he'd pulled prior to his father's seizure and Murdoc was determined to make sure there was a proper punishment. A few weeks with Tessie would be like a holiday in their eyes. Hailey couldn't disagree with this. Knowing Tess, she'd try to make Ben's stay as comfortable as possible, forgetting completely that the boy seemed to land himself in trouble far too often. And there was also the fact that Tessie had enough on her plate with her own private life and didn't need a hot headed, hormonal pre-teen fucking it up more. The problem at hand was the simple fact that both Hailey and Murdoc were older and damned near physically incapable of keeping the lad in check. It hadn’t reached the point of getting physical just yet, but Hailey feared it would reach that point. They weren’t even a fortnight into his stay at the cottage and both he and Murdoc had been in each other’s faces a dozen times or more. They were still days away from Alec being released and there was worry that he wouldn’t be physically able to control the boy either. The good news was that Alec was up and mobile, but was back to relying heavily on his cane and there was some slurring to his speech. Ben would use his limitations to his advantage, there was little doubt in that. There’d been some discussion over keeping Ben a little longer but given how much he and Murdoc were fighting, she wasn’t sure she could deal with another week or two of listening to this.

She dropped her gaze back to the churned up dirt, poking at it half-heartedly with the small spade. If she just focused on the dirt and plant seeds, she might be able to drown out their yelling. She didn't want to be in the middle of that hot mess. Besides, they wouldn't like her answer if they tried to get her to choose sides. They were both being stupid and immature. Murdoc was in his fucking eighties for fuck's sake. And you'd think he was Ben's age with the insults and tantrums. And that was another thing. Ben was only thirteen damned years old. He was no more a man than the neighbor's crotch fruit down the way. Yes, he had to be off the computer by nine. Yes, he had to have his homework done before any fun shit. Yes, he had to go to bed by ten-thirty at the latest (because lord knows the boy won't get his bony ass out of bed with only five and a half hours sleep). He was a kid and he was going to be treated like one. And honestly, if he kept up the mouth and attitude, she'd fucking _PAY_ Murdoc to go to the market and buy the punk a package of nappies and treat him like the toddler he was acting like!

From the house came the sound of a door slamming. Sighing, Hailey pushed herself to her feet and started a slow and casual walk across the yard. From around the front, she could hear foot fall on the small walk way, Murdoc appearing around the corner of the house, his face red, brow furrowed and mouth nothing but a thin line. Upon seeing her, he merely shook his head and continued to walk past her. She paused at the gravel, glancing over her shoulder to see him make a brisk walk towards the trees and clearing. Silent understanding, his body language enough to tell her that he was in no mood to talk about whatever had caused the blow up and needed his space so he could let his anger run its course. Of course, this meant going down to the woods and kicking the bushes and dirt, spewing curses loud enough for the heavens to hear, but better he throw his tantrum in the woods and not in the house where there was a risk of him hurting himself or breaking something.

“It's not too late t' send him t' his bleedin' mother, is it?” he demanded suddenly, now standing just at the edge of the downward slope, staring at her. “She still wants him, yeah?”

A snorting laugh erupted from her as she shrugged her shoulders. “Doubt it.” They actually hadn't seen hide nor hair from Nina in a few years. She had all but vanished shortly after that court nonsense she had dragged Alec through, unable to accept the fact that any relationship she'd have with her son relied solely on Alec's terms and conditions. It had been a bitter pill for the woman to swallow, obviously, finding out that her money and status did nothing to help her.

“Call her an' ask,” he laughed, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “All she can say is no, yeah?” This remark did make her smile, but she shook her head. He was flustered and at a loss of what to do. Alec had certainly had his intolerable moments when he’d been Ben’s age and Amy had certainly given them a few more white hairs, but they seemed to pale in comparison to how Ben was behaving. Maybe Murdoc was right? This generation was a big fucking disappointment. He was still lingering at the top of the incline, shrugging his shoulders finally as he turned to head to the woods. “At this point, I dun' care if you lock him in the basement, Poppet!” Hailey watched as he descended the embankment, disappearing from view as he stalked towards the trees. Let him fume a bit. He'd come back in a half hour or so in a better mood. Old habits died hard and she knew the old bugger kept a bag of weed in his studio. It wouldn't surprise her in the least to find out he'd gone to the woods to smoke a joint in an effort to calm his ass down. She indulged from time to time herself when the pain got to be too much and her pain pills did nothing to take the edge off, but that was as far as it went. She started to wonder if maybe she should tag along behind him and escape when she heard a door from within the house slam and Ben's voice ranting from upstairs. Well, if she was thinking about it, this would be the best time to start it up again, right? Why not?

Tessie emerged from the French doors, shaking her head as she glanced up at the upper levels of the house. “I dun' suppose you know when they'll release Alec, do you?”

“I think Alec said within the next few days,” Hailey said, glancing over her shoulder at the hunched over shape moving through the trees. “Can't come soon enough, that's for sure.”

Laughing, Tessie nodded her head. “Christ, yes! How the hell can you two put up with this?”

“I remind Murdoc that he was no different at this age,” Hailey said, lighting a cigarette. “They're too much alike in personality, Tess, that's why they clash so often.” She gestured towards the woods, a snorting laugh erupting from her. “Of course, you can't tell Murdoc that. The truth is too much to handle, I guess.” Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Tessie giggling silently. No need to explain, she knew all of this as well. Sometimes it was downright creepy watching the two of them when they got into it. Ben had a lot of the same mannerism, expressions. Hell, even the way he talked and grumbled at times. Murdoc cloned with brown hair. “Should I even ask what they're arguing about this time around?” she asked, now staring at Tessie.

Tessie half shrugged, glancing towards the woods. “Honestly, I dunno. I think it had somethin' t' do with homework, chores an' the lack of pocket change. Ben insists he should have an allowance of sorts for doin' shit he should be doin' an'way.” Her gaze fell back on the white haired woman standing mere feet from her. “Told Murdoc he was a greedy ol' miser an' not t' expect any help from him when he got too old to wipe his own arse.”

“Like that would phase him,” Hailey chuckled. “Ben's gotta do better than that.”

Tessie nodded, laughing under her breath. “Murdoc told him if he kept it up with his mouth, he'd re-write the will so when he croaked, the only thin' Ben would inherit were his soiled nappies.”

Hailey let out a snorting laugh. “Of course he did.” Moving around Tessie, she let herself into the house, shedding her dirt-smudged shoes and stretching her back. She could still hear Ben upstairs, throwing his fit as he chucked things around the room upstairs. Hailey frowned as she glanced above her head, moving towards the kitchen to retrieve herself something to drink and maybe a snack. She found herself flexing her hands, wincing at the dull pain in her knuckles. She’d been out in the garden most of the morning and it was reaching close to lunch time. Probably time for another pain pill. A frown settled onto her face as she started to head towards the stairs, the tantrum growing louder and louder.

“ _I HATE THIS FUCKIN' HOUSE_!” Ben bellowed as something heavy and hard slamming against the wall.

Hailey paused on the first landing, sighing heavily. All they expected out of the kid was to do his bloody school work, keep up on his chores and help out a bit when needed. You'd think they were running a slave camp with the way he flipped out over things. Murdoc had pretty much cut off the boy's social life completely in the wake of his bad attitude. Sometimes even pointing out that Alec was nowhere near the pain in his ass that Ben was and the boy should be grateful he was willing to put up with his shit. The tension had been building and building. Sooner or later, one of them was going to snap. She wasn't stupid. Both of them had patience as thin as Murdoc's hairline. Hell, on more than one occasion Murdoc had threatened to pin the boy down and whoop his arse with his belt. You knew shit was about to get real if he was making threats like that. He’d never threatened that with Alec or even Amy and Amy definitely had put him through the wringer.

“ _I WANNA GO HOME_!” Ben howled, something else slamming hard.

“For fuck's sake,” Hailey grumbled as she continued further up the stairs. Every joint and bone from her hands up through her shoulders protested the climb, Hailey finding herself pausing every few steps to allow the discomfort to pass. She could still hear the hormonal adolescent raging about in his bedroom. Exhaling loudly, she resumed her climb, finally at the top of the stairs and moving down the narrow hallway to the boy's bedroom. “Oi! Knock it off!” she barked through the wood. “If you actually listened to us for once and quit being a prat about shit, you wouldn't be getting into trouble all the time.”

“Fuck off,” Ben snapped from the other side of the door.

“I have a right mind to grab his belt and back the threat up myself, Benjamin,” she snapped back, folding her arms across her chest. “This isn't holiday, boy, and you know it.” From the other side of the door, something else heavy slammed, most likely his closet door. “Count of three, Ben! This door better open before I get to three.”

“This is my room!” he barked. “Dun' you dare open that bloody door!”

“Correction,” she barked back, “this was your father's room. And you're in our house, young man. We pay the bills here. So this is our room!” Silence came from his side and she reached out for the brass knob, gripping it tightly. “One.......two.......three!” Twisting the knob, she pushed the door open, seeing Ben standing right there, glaring at her. “You have homework downstairs,” she said in a calm tone. “Now get down there and get it done.”

“Get outa my room, Gran,” he hissed, closing the distance between them.

Hailey stood there, matching his glare. She wasn't going to be bullied by some hormonal pre-teen in her own fucking house. This kid would have another thing coming if he tried anything. She felt a small moment of alarm when he moved in closer. He was as tall as her and it made her acutely aware that he was considerably stronger, size and youth on his side. “Ben,” she muttered, feeling some of her own resolve waver. No doubt he could hear the tremble in her voice, even as she maintained locked eye contact. “Back down.”

“Make me,” he growled. “Get outa my room.” He took a step forward and Hailey found herself stepping backward. Was he really going to play this game with her? Push her around? They continued to match glares, Ben trying to move closer but then stepping backward as if he were rethinking himself. She could almost hear his heart pounding, probably fired up with a dump of adrenaline as he stood there with his chest heaving and roundish babyface trying to look stern and angry. When she still hadn’t moved, he sneered and attempted to close the door, growling under his breath when she blocked the door with her foot. “I mean it, Gran. Get. Out.”

Hailey shook her head, her foot still in place in the doorway. “You forget whose house this is,” she growled. “Get your skinny ass downstairs.”

Ben had yet to budge, still standing firm in his doorway. Hailey remained in place, though she couldn’t escape the whispers of fear saying she needed to back away. Back away? He was a hundred pounds soaking wet. The scrapper in her pointed out that she still outweighed him by thirty pounds and still stood an inch taller, but reason kept butting into the conversation. She was older. She was arthritic. Taking the boy on in a physical confrontation wouldn’t be the smartest move. They continued to match glares, neither one of them willing to budge. She moved before her brain could catch up, reaching out to put herself between the frame and the door. Ben reacted just as quickly, hands out and pushing her back. She continued to try to push forward, feeling herself skid across the floor as he gained momentum. She dug her heels in the best she could, unable to get enough footing to keep him from pushing and pushing. The entire upper level spun in her vision when the flooring disappeared from beneath her feet. Rolling back, feeling the impact against her back, her shoulders, her head as she tumbled down the stairs, her ankle hitting a step at an unnatural angle. Though she was conscious of hearing something snap, the full realization of it all didn’t hit until she landed hard on the first landing and it felt like fire searing up her leg. Lifting her head, she stared down at her ankle, twisted in an impossible angle. Ben was still at the top of the stairs, his face ghost white with the reality of what he’d done starting to sink in.

From downstairs she could hear someone walking quickly through the lounge and kitchen, Murdoc appearing at the bottom of the stairs looking up at her. Tessie wasn’t far behind as he bounded up to the first landing. Though she could hear his questions and managed to utter a few short answers, she was too focused on the pain firing up her leg. She struggled to get to her feet, feeling him pull on her as he tried to help support her weight. The moment she tried to move the twisted ankle, it sent more searing fire up her leg. Every part of her hurt. “Stop,” she whispered, trying to pull out of Murdoc’s grasp. “I can’t. It hurts.” Murdoc continued to huff at her and insist she try to get up, but she needed a minute. She reached out, grasping at his arm a moment. “We need to call a doctor. I think it’s broken.”

Murdoc continued to flutter around, a low pitched whine escaping from him as he knelt down to get a better look at her ankle. There was little doubt that it was broke. Aside from the swelling, when she managed to lift her leg, it hung limply and she could even see bone shifting beneath her skin. Tessie was there suddenly, moving him away. “I got this, Murdoc. You won’t be able to lift her.” The last thing Hailey wanted to do was fucking move, but what choice did she have? Tessie was already managing to haul her to her feet even as Murdoc lingered beside them. He kept reaching out and touching at her, looking her over, his gaze landing on her broken ankle before shooting back up to her face. Tessie waved him away as she started to direct Hailey down the stairs. “Let’s get you t’ the kitchen so we can take a better look at it.”

*************************

Murdoc wasn’t sure what he’d heard as he approached the house. Raised voices, Hailey challenging whatever authority the boy thought he had. Sometimes it was Hailey that needed to be the one to handle it because both he and Ben seemed to love to drag each other into their bullshit and it turned into a vicious circle. Hailey was no-nonsense and if Ben thought he could get in her face, she’d grab his fucking ear and drag him downstairs to sit in a corner like a toddler. Hailey didn’t have time for bullshit. Murdoc, on the other hand, knew he could be easily baited, but couldn’t fucking help it. He just had to get that last word in, but so did Ben apparently. As he reached the French doors, more noises followed. Noises that triggered numerous alarms in him. The sounds of struggle. Hailey’s voice crying out in surprise followed by the sounds of something heavy falling. Rushing inside, he veered through the lounge and kitchen, stopping dead in his tracks at the bottom of the stairs. Laying there on the first landing was Hailey and she was favoring her bad leg. “Poppet, what happened?” he whispered hoarsely as he climbed the short flight of steps. She was rubbing the back of her head, but her focus was entirely on the twisted ankle. He looked down her leg, lingering over the decades old scarring on her knee before scanning further down. He uttered a groan when his gaze landed on her ankle. Twisted almost completely around and tucked partially beneath her leg.

Tessie had heard the commotion as well and was already at the foot of the stairs. Murdoc tried to grab Hailey’s arms in an effort to pull her to her feet, but every time her ankle did so much as shift against the carpeted landing, she cried out and fought to get free of his grip. He was also facing the fact that lifting her up was putting a lot more strain on him than he’d been prepared for. The last time she’d fallen, he could remember helping her up without too much issue, but that had been maybe three or four years ago. Now it took every bit of effort just to get enough leverage to try haul her upright and so far no matter how much effort he was putting into it, he couldn’t seem to raise her more than a few feet off the ground before his body gave out. Her whining and swatting at him certainly didn’t help, but he was facing a reality he’d never thought would come. He was just too old and didn’t have the strength to pick her up. He let her slide down, hearing Tessie come up just behind him, insisting she would help her. What would this mean for them now? What if she fell again and it was just the two of them home?

Murdoc lifted his head, locking eyes with a still pale and shaking Ben, who uttered a squeak as he tried to back away. He’d done this. He’d pushed her. He could have seriously hurt her. With a grunt, Murdoc pushed himself up from where he'd been kneeling, his eyes locked on Ben as he slowly started to climb the stairs towards him. Teeth bared, hands tugging at his belt as he closed in on the adolescent. “You ungrateful little fucker,” Murdoc snarled, lunging towards Ben as he reached the top of the stairs. Ben darted away out of his reach, spinning around and hitting his back into his door-frame. Murdoc was practically on top of him, hands locking onto the back of his neck. Somewhere from the stairs, Murdoc could hear Tessie barking at them both, telling them they needed to calm down before Murdoc blew a blood vessel. Still snarling, Murdoc propelled the boy forward into the bedroom. Age be damned, he was on the war path and out for blood. This ungrateful little slag could have seriously hurt her. Could have even _killed_ her. Thinking he had a run of this house because his father wasn’t there to put him in line. He'd fucking pushed a _seventy two year old_ woman down the fucking stairs! Well, he’d get what the fuck was coming to him. Something he’d been deserving for a long fucking time now. Murdoc kept moving, ignoring the whispers of reason that pointed out he would definitely be feeling this later. Ben had stumbled forward, catching his balance, but Murdoc locked a hand onto the back of his neck and shoved him forward again, knocking him face-first into the bed. “You needed this a long fuckin' time 'go,” the old man panted, deaf to Ben's muffled protests. Tessie could be heard shrieking at him, but his focus was on the adolescent struggling to get himself off the bed even as Murdoc pinned him with his knee, his hands fumbling to undo his belt. Everything else around him faded away, his focus solely on Ben as he brought the belt back and came down as hard as he could, Ben crying out when it landed squarely across his backside. He brought his arm back again, half snarling as he brought the belt down again and landed additional blows across the boy's rump. All he could see was red. He wanted to hurt him. Really hurt him. All Murdoc could see was Hailey’s shattered ankle. See her laying on the landing and helpless. Ben could’ve killed her. He could’ve seriously hurt her. She may never be able to walk again after this. Just hurt him. Maim him. Drive the point home.

Tessie's voice could be heard again, this time closer. Murdoc had brought his arm back for another blow but Tessie was there suddenly, pulling his arm. “Stop! This isn’t you!” Murdoc blinked, stepping back and letting the belt fall from his hand. The red receding now and seeing Ben sitting on the floor and sobbing. He continued to step back, finally pausing in the doorway as Tessie tended to Ben, trying to comfort him. No, this wasn’t right. Why was she trying to comfort him? Had she not realized what he’d done? Hailey was downstairs, her ankle busted because this little taint decided to push her down the stairs like a fucking animal. He continued to watch as she comforted Ben, who continued to sob and shift uncomfortably on the floor.

“Keep him ‘way from me,” Murdoc growled, stalking out of the bedroom and towards the stairs. He needed a chance to cool himself off. And tend to Hailey. She was down in the sitting room, seated on one chair while her leg was propped on the other chair. It looked so bad now, swollen and almost black. The only thing apparently keeping her from crying in pain was probably the pain pills she had been taking. But it certainly was close because when she looked up at him, he could see the tears in her eyes and the rigid muscles in her face. He veered towards the kitchen to track down that first aid kit, which he knew was somewhere. At least find something they could use to bandage her leg or something to help keep it set.

“Murdoc, you alright?” she asked when he returned with the kit. “It was an accident. He didn’t mean to do that, I hope you realize that.”

“Dun’ care,” he growled as he pulled out the bandages. “He had no fuckin’ business tryin’ t’ push you an’way.” He could hear the shake in his voice, closing his eyes briefly as he took a breath. “What if he killed you, Poppet? He’s old ‘nough t’ know that what he did was dangerous.” He knelt down by her leg, examining the ankle as carefully as he could without touching it. She was going to need a doctor. This was beyond anything he could do.

He could hear Tessie and Ben bickering upstairs. He closed his eyes, sinking back onto his rump. This was more than he could deal with. He still couldn’t wrap his brain around the fact that Ben had shoved her down the stairs. The boy had certainly pushed their buttons and had fired him up on more than one occasion, but he never in his wildest dreams imagined that Ben would attack Hailey like this and shove her down the stairs. She was seventy-two and arthritic, one wrong fall could be the end of her! He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath as he pushed himself to his feet. Ben should thank his lucky fucking stars all he got was a good old fashioned arse whipping. It was long overdue. That boy’d had it coming for months now. Alec had tried everything he could short of throttling the boy and even Murdoc had struggled to maintain some semblance of control as the kid shot off his mouth at everyone around him.

Mumbling under his breath, he grabbed the bandages and gently lifted Hailey’s leg, hearing her whimpers as he started to wrap the ankle as best he could. At least get it stabilized so it wouldn’t flop around everywhere. Then get their doc on the line to see if he should call for an ambulance or if it would be better to try to drive her. An ambulance would most likely be necessary given the fact that his strength wasn’t what it used to be and if he couldn’t even lift her enough to get her down the stairs, he wouldn’t be able to lift her enough to get her to the car. Fuck all the demons in hell, what the hell was happening?

*******************

After gathering a bag full of sparse belongings, Tessie exited the room so Ben could collect himself. As she descended the steps, she could feel the icy atmosphere of the sitting room, pausing only long enough to see Murdoc bent down in front of Hailey, bandaging her ankle with shaking hands. When his eyes surfaced from his task, they were walled off and cold. Seeing that it was only her, he resumed what he was doing, ignoring Hailey's whimpers. In all the years Tessie had known Murdoc, she had never once seen him lose control like that. Though she could remember Alec once telling her years ago about some incidents, he’d emphasized that the man’s anger had never been directed at him or Amy. It had seemed like such a foreign thing since he had always been kind of happy and goofy and even a bit juvenile with his remarks. All she could think of now when she looked at him was him kneeling onto Ben, pinning him against the bed as he lashed the boy with his belt. She herself had been frozen in place upon realizing what she was seeing, but upon realizing that he wasn’t stopping after already laying four good licks with his arm raised to unleash more, she’d rushed into the room and grabbed him arm, screaming for him to stop. The only thing that made any sense in her head over what she’d witnessed was that he’d completely snapped. Already pushed to his edge with Ben’s attitude and mouth, Hailey being hurt had given him the final push that sent him free falling into full blown rage.

Hailey perked her head up when Tessie appeared at her side. She flashed an apologetic smile at Tess, wincing a bit when Murdoc’s hands moved over the damaged bones a bit too hard. “Is Ben alright?” she asked softly, ignoring Murdoc’s enraged and acidic gaze.

“Pride hurt more than an'thin',” Tessie said as she went to the front door and dropped the bag to the floor. “I think the best thing right now is for him to stay with me until Alec gets discharged.”

“Bloody right it's the best thin',” Murdoc snapped, getting to his feet. “I dun' want that lil' sod here an'more. Better not step a fuckin' foot on my doorstep ever 'gain.”

Hailey shot him a hard look, shaking her head. “You lost control and did what you said you'd never do. Yes, he did need to be punished, but beating him accomplished what? Are you seriously gonna stand there and justify attacking him like that?”

“I dun' want t' hear it, Hailey,” he growled, stowing away the excess bandages. “He should thank the universe I didn't break ever' bone in his bleedin' body.” He was shaking as he paced around the sitting room. “If somethin’ had happened t’ you, Hailey...if that fall had killed you..." A strained whimper erupted from him as he scrubbed his hands across his face. "Fuck...I dunno what I'd do if he'd killed you. I dun' wanna think 'bout what I'd do...”

“Watch it, old man.....I hear your father talkin',” Hailey hissed.

Murdoc's shoulders tensed, the anger still too close to the surface. He turned around, meeting her cool gaze. Her expression didn’t waver even though it was clear he was struggling to keep himself contained. He closed in, eyes narrowing. “Dun' you fuckin' dare say that 'gain, woman,” he snarled, bending low so his face was inches from hers. “Did you conveniently forget that he pushed you down the stairs an’ coulda killed you? Comparin’ me t’ m’ fuckin’ father...that’s fuckin’ rich, woman. I swear t' fuckin' every deity on this planet, I hear those words come outa your mouth 'gain, I won't hesitate t' slap 'em outa you!”

“MURDOC!” Tessie hollered, staring at him with wide eyes. “You need t’ calm down an’ step back! She’s right. You are soundin’ a lot like your father.” She took a step back when his gaze settled onto her, the fire still burning behind his dark eyes. It was almost too difficult to believe that Ben had pushed him over the edge like this, his fury continuing to burn higher and higher. He was beyond reasoning with. Ben had pushed and pushed and pushed and had finally flipped the switch.

“I am _not him_!” he snapped back, backing her against the wall. “I just did what shoulda fuckin' happened years 'go an' set that lil' sod straight. He coulda fuckin' killed her an' you both have the audacity t' stand there an' accuse me of over-steppin’ an’ actin' like my waste of space sperm donor?”

Tessie frowned, now matching glares. “An' beatin' his arse accomplished what? Threatenin' him further accomplished what exactly? Threatening t' slap her for callin' it like she sees it accomplishes what?” Though she stood several inches taller, he wasn’t backing down. Glaring up at her, the space between them heavy with rising tensions. “Now go back an’ tend t’ Hailey b’fore you have a fuckin’ stroke!”

“Fuck you, Contessa,” he snarled, waving a finger at her. “Take that lil' fucker an' get him outa m’ house now before I fuckin' kill him with m’ bare hands!” He let out a huff before stepping back and finally stalking out of the sitting room, grumbling under his breath. Tessie remained against the wall, listening to his continue to admonish Ben as he paced around the lounge before finally dropping himself down into the sofa.

Sighing, she turned her attention to Hailey, who was now trying to examine her ankle. Silent tears stained her cheeks and every muscle in her face seemed tense. She looked up at Tessie finally, frowning at her still enraged expression. “Let him fume, Tess,” she whispered as she reached out and touched the woman’s arm. “He needs to get it out of his system.”

“He was outa line,” Tessie said, gathering her keys and purse. “Dun' defend him.”

“I'm not defending him,” Hailey said in a hard tone. “I just know his ups and downs better than most. We hit too close to home for him. Bringing up his father, let alone saying he’s acting like him, is the quickest way to set him off.”

“I dun' bloody care,” Tessie said, pulling her cigarettes from her purse. “Look what he did, Hailey. He beat Ben with a belt an' then threatened t' hit you for callin' him on his shit. I dun' care how shitty his childhood was, he crossed a line.”

“It’s not that simple,” Hailey said coolly as she tried to shift her weight in the chair. “It's easy for you to cast judgment on this because you don't know first hand what we experienced growing up. Easy to assume we have simply moved on and got past it all. You're seeing first hand the mark it's left on him.”

“I dun' buy that rubbish,” Tessie said, pushing open a window, cigarette pinched in her teeth. “That childhood he loathes so much has been gone an' behind him for a’most seventy years. An' what 'bout you? From what I understand, your childhood was just as bad as his. Why dun' I see you flippin' out an' doin' stupid shit?”

“Bring me the spice container on the end,” the old woman muttered, lighting her own cigarette. Tessie could feel Hailey’s eyes on her back as she grabbed the container and passed it over. Hailey pried the lid open, reaching in and setting the bottles down. “Risperdal, some generic anti-anxiety med I forget the name of.....and a few others to counter-act the side effects. This isn’t including the pain meds prescribed for the arthritis.”

“Risperdal? As in risperidone?” Tessie raised her eyebrows as she examined the bottls. “Risperdal is an anti-psychotic, Hailey.”

“It is. And I need it.” She peered up at Tessie, her expression calm. “He handles his demons in his way. I handle them in my way. For him, it means letting his anger its course. For me, it means medications. If not for these, I would've hurt him or the kids. And I don't mean with words, Tessie. I was a danger to myself and to them without these. Had I refused, he would have taken kids and left.” Her brow furrowed a moment. “They don't always work and sadly, both he, Alec and Amy have seen me in my darkest moments. When he has his moments, he usually shuts himself in his study when things are too much for him to handle. He was scared and he was angry, Tess. He reacted poorly and he probably realizes that now, but he needs his space to cool off.”

Tessie finished her cigarette, stubbing it out in the small ashtray on the table. She needed to gather her things and Ben's things and get the boy out of the house. It was still difficult to forgive the old man, but she allowed Hailey's words to roll around in her head. It made her think of when her father had finally told her about Murdoc during their years as Gorillaz. The quick tempered drug addict who wouldn't hesitate to beat the living tar out of someone he saw as weak and an easy target. She’d been maybe fifteen or sixteen when she finally learned about that side of him. She didn't know that man, never had. She knew the loud and vulgar Uncle Murdoc who would give you a ration of shit for something silly and still sometimes picked on her father. It had even been a shock when Alec confided in her years ago about some of the things that had happened with his parents. He didn’t remember any of that now and she was actually a little glad for it. Seeing Murdoc come apart like this and lose control had been eye opening. Hailey was unaffected by it because she’d seen him like this before. She knew what it was and simply allowed it to run its course so he could burn the anger out. If Hailey wasn’t disturbed by this then why was this so hard for Tessie to grasp? Was it because she’d known them her entire life and had never thought such dark moments existed? They were human and imperfect, just like her and Alec. Just like her own parents. They’d brought their own heavy baggage with them into this relationship, had dealt with this baggage in ways only they could handle and had managed to stick through it all for forty years. They tried to give their kids as normal an upbringing as they could given the obstacles they’d faced.

“Ben!” Tessie barked finally, picking up the heavy bag by the door full of Ben’s belongings. “We need t' go!” She grabbed at the door knob, pulling it open. Standing at the doorstep, arm poised to knock, was a rather gruff and annoyed looking cop. Tessie frowned, drawing back from the doorway. “Err.....can I help you?”

“Niccals residence, yeah?” he asked, staring at her bags.

“It is. Can I ask what your business is here?” Did a neighbor or passerby overhear the chaos that had taken place? It didn't seem a likely scenario because most of the neighbors lived too far away and generally minded their own business.

“Can I ask you t' put down the bags, ma'am?” His eyes narrowed when she shifted in the doorway, standing her full height and glowering down at him. “We received a call regardin' a domestic disturbance.”

“He's full of hot air,” Tessie said coldly, refusing to budge from the doorway. “He's a loudmouth an' that's 'bout it. Nothin' more happened.”

“The report stated there was an assault with a weapon an' a physical assault on an incapacitated female,” the officer said, the edge to his tone clear. “The victim stated that he'd been beat with a belt by his grandfather, a Murdoc Alphonce Niccals, an' he stated that Niccals then pushed his grandmother down the stairs when she tried t' intervene.”

“ _BENJAMIN NICCALS_!” Tessie howled, dropping the bags and turning from the doorway. “Get your sorry arse down here now!” She could feel her heart pounding and blood pressure rising as she cast fleeting glances towards the sitting room. She could hear movement upstairs but little else. “I mean it, Ben, you better get down here right this bloody minute!”

The officer stepped inside behind her, ignoring Tessie’s protests as he made a brisk walk through the kitchen. Tessie trailed after him, sputtering uselessly. The officer stopped upon seeing Hailey in the chair with her leg propped. “Did your husband do that?” he asked, gesturing at her ankle.

“No,” Hailey said icily. “Your victim did it.”

“Not true!” Ben bellowed from the stairs. “He pushed her down when she tried t' get in between when he was beating on me!”

Murdoc rounded the corner, his expression murderous as he closed in on the adolescent. “You lil' fuckin' liar!” His momentum was stopped short when the officer reached out and grabbed him by the arm. Snarling, he tried to rip his arm away. “You'd better let me go if you know what's good for you!” He tugged a few more times before finally accepting that getting free was futile. Tessie found herself now in the entryway between the kitchen and sitting room, unsure of what to do. Part of her entertained the idea of actually fighting the policeman and getting Murdoc free, but reason kept pointing out that such an act would surely cause more harm than good. Hailey was trying to push herself to her feet, stammering through a thin and cracking voice that the police officer had it all wrong. Murdoc was pleading with her to remain seated and off the ankle. His eyes traveled up the stairs and Tessie followed his gaze, seeing Ben standing there. Watching it all unfold with a smirk. Murdoc scowled at the boy, speaking through bared teeth. “Just wait until I get out, Benjamin. Just wait....”

“Who're they gonna believe, Murdoc?” Ben asked coldly. “The loudmouth old man who's resistin' arrest or the poor, helpless kid with the black an' blue arse? An' dun' even rely on Hailey settin' shit straight. They a'ready know she's a head case who worships the ground you walk on.....of course she'd lie an' claim I was the one who pushed her.....She can't lose her meal ticket.”

Tessie stared at the boy, wondering if her ears had deceived her. Christ, why wasn't Alec here to set things straight? He needed to be here. Granted, it wouldn't have escalated to this point had he been here, right? Hailey was almost frantic, struggling to control what were clearly tears, but the cop was deaf to her protests as he pulled Murdoc’s arms behind his back and secured them with hand-cuffs. Once Murdoc had been detained, he gave some half hearted remark about how he'd call an ambulance to take her so she could get her ankle tended to and also to talk to a social worker while she was there. Ben would also be removed from the home and placed with relatives. Everything was happening too fucking fast. And remove Ben from the home? Remove him to where exactly? “Wait a minute,” Tessie said. “We're his only family....”

“Are you Ben's mother?” the cop asked gruffly.

“No, I'm his father's partner...,” she said.

“Where is the boy's father?” he demanded.

“In the hospital,” Tessie said curtly now wishing she’d lied and identified herself as Ben’s mother. “He’s t’ be discharged within the next few days or so.”

The cop raised an eyebrow, pulling Murdoc towards the door. “All the more reason t' place the boy elsewhere. I'll have Children's Services come by an' pick the boy up.”

Ben walked down the stairs calmly, grabbing his bag from the floor, unfazed by the glares of his grandparents and Tessie. Murdoc was still grumbling and snarling condemnations at him as he was escorted out of the home, hands secured behind his back. Hailey was struggling to find words, the crack in her voice the only thing seeming to indicate the emotions that were pressing against the surface. What could be said at this point. The boy merely walked through the house towards the front door, pausing long enough to cast a strangely sad look at Hailey. “Sorry, Gran, but he had t' learn.”

“Get outa my house,” she hissed, tears streaking her face. “You wanna go so badly, then just go!”

Nodding, he stepped out the door and sat on the step. Tessie remained in the kitchen, still unsure of what to do or how far she should go. All she could do was watch as one police car left while another pulled up followed by what she assumed was the ambulance and some kind of unmarked sedan. Christ, Alec would come apart once he found out what had happened. Hailey was sobbing uncontrollably, almost screaming at Tessie to drag Ben back inside and force him to tell the truth. Hailey was hysterical, snarling obscenities at the medics who’d burst inside with their bags, threatening bodily harm to anyone who tried to fucking touch her. This wasn’t going to go well. Tessie intervened, grabbing at Hailey’s arm. “You need t’ calm down! If you dun’ calm yourself, they’ll sedate you.”

“Don’t fucking care!” Hailey hissed. “They didn’t even bother to try to find out what happened. They just took his fucking word for it.” Tessie wasn’t sure if this was protocol, but she assumed when there was a domestic disturbance, their first priority was separating all the parties involved in some way to sort it out.

She could hear another officer talking with Ben briefly before speaking into a radio, requesting a social worker arrive at the address. “We have a Benjamin Tyler Niccals, aged thirteen, who will need medical attention as well before the social worker can take him to his placement.” This was followed by a brief silence and Ben’s voice too low for her to hear. “Err, yeah, the lad says he has a non-custodial mother who lives in Chumleigh.”

Tessie lingered in the foyer, watching as Ben spoke softly with the police officer. He cast a glance over his shoulder, catching sight of her acidic gaze, turning away from her quickly. He knew he’d fucked up. Surely he knew it. Hearing his Gran cry and yell as medics tried to get her under control. Having his Grandad hauled away in cuffs. She could feel the bite of her own tears now, wishing there was something she could do. She needed to get to the hospital after everyone left. Let Alec know what the hell was going down. He needed to know what his son had done. She hated the idea of having to dump this onto his lap, but better her than him getting discharged and finding out days later, right? Ben was looking at her again, the cruel smirk no longer there. She scowled at the boy, her voice just loud enough to be heard. “I hope you’re happy with yourself now, Ben.”


	27. Old Flame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> FLUFFY SHIT CUZ WE NEED SOME FLUFFY
> 
> OC Helen & Mad Maxine the muscle car (C) BackToBass from Deviant Art

Murdoc enjoyed the local farmer's market. He remembered a time when he would scoff at Russel, Noodle and even the Dent-head for going to the one down in Essex. Couldn’t understand the appeal of them. He figured them little more than a bunch of farmers and hippies trying to hock their wares and not something he was truly interested in. Granted, his lifestyle at the time probably played into this. Up all night drinking and doing whatever drug crossed his path and then sleeping it all off through the day. He had incorrectly assumed the markets were a mere novelty that would fade away into the sunset after a few years and had been a bit surprised when he discovered they were a staple in many communities. Hailey had grown up around them mostly, frequenting the Pike Place Market in Seattle often and even hitting up the farmer’s market a hour south in Olympia when her work had her traveling. So it was no real surprise that she sought one out immediately after they got settled in their residence in London. She had wanted a taste of home, much like how she did during their brief stint in Paris and who was he to discourage that? Besides, he discovered that he actually enjoyed tagging along with her. The market was nothing at all like he’d assumed. Fresh food kiosks that catered to every palate, delicious take away booths when you needed something hot and greasy on the spot, half arsed decent live music and his favorite – the little beer tent that offered up house brews and micro-brews. Additionally, he was able to have a smoke whenever he wanted since the market was predominantly outdoors.

It was mid-September and blasted hot for an English summer. Hotter than fucking Hades, it was. Hailey – a little over six months pregnant – was beyond miserable. Bad enough the pregnancy had been so damned hard on her, add to that scorching heat and the poor thing was now reduced to a bloated and sweaty lump on the sofa. Bedrest, the doctor had insisted. She needed to take it as easy as possible. With her being unable to do even a fraction of her normal daily routines, he found himself and Alec picking up the slack a bit. Part of him insisted it was the right thing to do and another – more sinister – part of him brought up the brownie points he'd score for doing things without being asked, like tidying up around the house and running the occasional errand. That little sinister part of him brought up all the wonderful things he could not so subtly manipulate her into doing to him for being such a helpful and doting partner. Probably made him a bit of an arsehole for looking at it that way but he reasoned that given their original arrangement, this was the least she could do for him if he was picking up her slack.

On one of these particularly scorcher of days, he strolled through the narrow walkways of the market, glancing at various booths and kiosks with Alec riding on his shoulders. Under the canopies and awnings, it wasn’t as hot, but Murdoc was definitely sweating. Especially under the added weight of the six year old on his shoulders. As he made his casual walk through the market, Alec continued on with his commentary about about the brightly colored booth advertising the best bread in the city, the occasional ankle biter dog that passed by as well as abrupt remarks about some happenings in his nursery school. Murdoc wasn’t really paying much in the way of attention because he was focused on the list in his hand. It was a simple list. Hailey’s chicken scratch just legible enough to be read. “Right...so we have a few staples...an’ turnovers.” He raised an eyebrow, his mouth quirking at the corners. “Turnovers? I thought she said necessities?”

From above, Alec giggled, leaning into his head. “Mum's been eatin' lots of turnovers. She keeps complainin' 'bout how she can't stop eatin' them an' her arse is testimony t' that....”

“Oh...one of them cravin' type thins', yeah?” Chuckling, Murdoc glanced up, spotting the bakery booth up ahead. “I s'pose it's better than that pickles an' ice cream thin'...”

“You know Mum dun' like pickles,” Alec said in a matter of fact tone.

“Your Mum is hormonal an' eatin' like a garbage disposal,” Murdoc cackled as he tucked the list into his back pocket. “She dun' like lamb either, but I caught her picking off m’ leftover plate one night. Betchya five pounds if I were t' get some pickles, she'd suck the entire jar dry, juice an’ all!”

Alec made a noise, leaning forward again, just barely visible out of the corner of his eyes. “Probably could get her some smoked oysters? She would love that.”

Pausing at the bakery's counter, Murdoc shook his head, gagging hard enough to attract a few stares. “Watch your tongue, boy. No way in hell I’m buyin' any bleedin' oysters.” He couldn’t fathom how _anyone_ could like those disgusting fucking things. What made it all the worse was Hailey did indeed love smoked oysters. When she was still able to get around better, she’d often return from the market with a can of those disgusting buggers buried in a shopping bag. He could smell them the moment she opened them, no matter where he was in the house. Enough to make his stomach recoil, She did try to make it more tolerable for him, so he could probably give her that. She’d drain the oil and rinse the sink and even the can a bit before eating them since it was the oil that produced the pungent smell. She also would eat them out of sight. His rule with that was she’d better wash her face, brush her teeth and rinse with the mouthwash before she came within a mile of him. If he could smell them on her, his stomach would recoil and he risked losing his lunch. It was such a visceral reaction that she had asked him once if he associated them with anything. Other than his father once forcing him to eat them when he was a kid, he had no other reason. He hadn’t like them then and he sure as hell didn’t like them now. He didn’t like the taste, the smell or the texture. Being forced to eat them had only amplified his dislike.

He leaned forward a bit to get a better look at the pastry offerings the little sweet booth had, his shoulders now aching from the child perched on them. Having Alec ride his shoulders made getting through the market easier. Especially since they’d left his special cane in the car. Killed his shoulders, but better than waiting on the poor lad to keep up with him. Alec obviously didn’t mind because he loved riding on his shoulders. One of those rare treats because his father was a lazy tool who got winded from doing even minimal yardwork. Probably could put him down now. At least until they were ready to move again. It was going to take a few moments to figure out what they were going to get and it would allow him to give his shoulders a rest.

Murdoc hmm’d to himself as he scanned over the different pastries behind the glass. The turnovers looked bloody good. Which ones did she want, though? They had cherry, apple, even raspberry. Alec apparently was picking up on his uncertainty, pointing to the ones on the top shelf behind the glass. “She likes the raspberry ones.”

Sighing, he craned his neck to peer up at the boy with annoyance. “Lookit you, _Mister Know-It-All_.”

“Mum says you dun’ listen, so someone’s gotta remember stuff,” the boy said through a sniff.

“Obviously I heard her when she said we needed t’ hit the market, yeah? Dun’ listen? Bah!” Alec merely giggled in response, but said nothing further. Murdoc continued to browse the different pastries available and when he found himself unable to decide what he wanted, he ended up purchasing several of the flakey patries before resuming his walk through the market. Next on the list was a sea bass so he needed to keep an eye out for the seafood kiosk. One would think he'd be sick to death of seafood after practically living off it for so long while residing on Point Nemo. Really, the only thing he needed was just a break from it. Shellfish was disgusting and you couldn’t pay him to fucking eat it, but a good high quality fish could catch his interest if he was truly in the mood for it. The only downside being that he had to vacate the house when Hailey cooked it because he couldn’t tolerate the smell.

Continuing on, they found a few other things to grab as they went along. A trinket kiosk provided brief entertainment to look at shiny things. Alec badgered him until he relented and gave him half a strawberry turnover. A kiosk selling home made garden décor caught his eye until he remembered that neither he nor Hailey were very adept when it came to greenery. They had fake plants in the house for a reason. Through their little market travels, they had yet to see the seafood kiosk and Murdoc had started to grow frustrated. He knew it was here. He’d seen it before. Was it at the other side of the fucking market? Christ, if he had to mosey his way back through to the other side just to find the fucking seafood booth, he’d leave empty-fucking-handed. Alec continued to prattle on about this and that and Murdoc was feeling fleeting regret over giving him half a turnover to eat because he could feel the boy’s hands on his head and also feel the crumbs that fell from his mouth. The whole top of his head was probably coated in powdered sugar and whatever other grime the boy had on his fingers. Trying to ignore the realization that Alec had probably coated his head in strawberry filling and powdered sugar, he spotted the seafood booth up ahead and got them settled into line. Pulling Alec from his burning shoulders, he set the boy down gently and grasped his hand, cringing inwardly when he realized Alec’s hand was just as grimy and sticky as he’d feared.

The sea bass was insanely overpriced and Murdoc reconsidered even purchasing the blasted thing. They had some smoked salmon on special and that sounded pretty good too. There were some good sized stuffed salmon steaks also and those sounded a lot better than the sea bass. The smell was more tolerable too. Hailey was a great cook and could make nearly anything edible, but try as she might, she could never figure out how to cook the sea bass without making the cottage fucking honk. She’d specified sea bass, but surely she would be more on board with those salmon steaks! They sounded glorious with that special lemon pepper seasoning she’d created from scratch. Alec protested when he selected three of the stuffed steaks, pointing out that Mum had specifically wanted sea bass. Waving him away, he got his debit card ready as the poor sod behind the counter wrapped them up and weighed them. Hailey wouldn’t mind. She’d probably congratulate him on being frugal since the steaks were on special and would save them a few pounds versus the sea bass.

“Murdoc? Is that you?” asked a vaguely familiar and accented voice from directly behind him.

Perking his head up and turning around, he found himself face to face with a woman. It took him several seconds to register the face in front of him, recognizing her immediately but still completely gobsmacked that he was laying eyes on her again. She’d aged a bit, just as he had, but in those seconds it took him to realize who he was seeing, he could already feel himself falling backward in time. Everything about her was different yet still the same. Blue eyes that sparkled from behind a pair of glasses, her soft brown hair pulled into a loose pony-tail complete with a small but still dazzling smile on her face. Still well proportioned and fit, just as he remembered her. His mouth hung open longer than it probably should have and it took him another few moments to finally find his voice as it stammered from his lips. “H-H-Helen?”

“Been a while, I'd say,” she said, that small and dazzling smile now growing wider.

His brain was buzzing with old emotions and memories. Emotions that had been long buried and shoved into the corners of his mind. Something cherished but still brought a pain that, at the time, he was unfamiliar with. He understood it now, feeling it resurface as he took in her presence before him. Their relationship had faded a little over a decade ago, four years before he had even met Hailey. Two years of having someone there for him, at his side. Someone who allowed him to open up and who had also seen him at his absolute worst. Someone who he had vowed would be the last person to ever see the him beneath the surface. The falling out had left him more wounded than he would ever have admitted, but at the same time, he had been glad that he had those memories of her. Did that even make sense? He remembered that they had simply drifted and grown to different people, more or less. Each wanting something that the other didn't. He had still fought against the inevitable and so had she. But in the end, it hadn't been enough and it had been easier to just admit defeat and go their separate ways.

“You look well,” she said finally, her eyes on the papered steaks the butcher handed him.

“So do you,” he said, cracking a small smile. “Dig the glasses.”

Helen's smile broadened, tapping at the lenses. “Yeah....well, this is what happens when we age, mate.”

“Tell me 'bout it,” he chuckled, tapping at his own pair perched on his face.

Helen let out a soft laugh, the faint wrinkles at her eyes becoming visible for a second before disappearing again. “Gettin' old sucks, I think.”

“So....what have you been doin' with yourself?” he asked finally, tucking the wrapped steaks into the canvas sack. “Last I heard, you had gone back t' Australia.”

“That I did,” she said in a low voice. “Didn't stay long. Few years. Came back here.” She kept looking him over and he imagined she was taking in his own aged visage. He knew he’d aged. Over fifty now, same as her. Though there was little there of her to give away her age, he knew he looked his age. Greying hair, more lines around his mouth and eyes and some days his back didn’t always agree with him. Hard living did that to a person, he reasoned.

“Gotta love England for that, love,” he said with a smile, lighting a cigarette. “I lived 'way for several years m’self an' came back 'bout four an' a half, maybe five years 'go.” From beside him, he felt Alec tug against his shirt sleeve. This slammed him down to the present moment, his mind still running with fleeting images of their most intimate moments together and he struggled to gain control of his thoughts as he smiled down at Alec before returning his attention back to Helen’s face. “Err...this is m’ boy, Alec.”

Her gaze fell to Alec and though she tried to hide it, he could see the flicker of surprise before her eyes surfaced back to him. “I'll be damned,” she chuckled, still smiling that dazzling smile. “I'd never thought I'd see the day.....”

He could only imagine seeing Alec standing there beside him was a shock. They’d both gone on and on about not wanting kids ever during the few years of their relationship. And at the time, he’d truly had zero interest in the concept of parenthood. He thought having kids and raising them was merely wasted potential and a massive cock block when you wanted to have a bit of fun. Not to mention, who passed up loads of disposable income? He also had to remind himself that he was in a very different place and state of mind during those times. Amazing what years and age do to a person’s mind set. Granted, being on the run from pirates and other criminals he’d crossed hadn’t helped. He’d been dealing with them even when involved with her. He’d kept a lot of things on the down low with her because he hadn’t wanted his darkness to infect her. She had been a bright and sunny part of his life and he had wanted it to remain that way.

Of course she’d be surprised he had a kid now. She knew him during a different stage of his life, a stage he could freely admit that he sometimes missed. He reasoned this was normal. Of course you would long for times when responsibility wasn’t nipping at your heels every time you turned around. Alec was most certainly an unplanned bump in the road but it hadn’t change the fact that he’d decided that maybe it was time to get himself settled. He could have been perfectly content settling even without kids in the mix, but these were the cards he’d been dealt so there was that.

Helen appeared to be taking in his internal musings, still smiling as she bent low to Alec. “Hello there, handsome fellow! Having fun with your Dad today?” Alec shuffled a bit where he stood and Murdoc wondered if she noted the way he stood or held that one arm. After a moment of shy silence, he cracked a smile and shuffled behind Murdoc’s knees. His posture and gait didn’t go unnoticed. When Helen raised herself upright, her brow was furrowed. “Is he okay?”

“Err...yeah. Wee bit shy.”

“No...I mean...” She was struggling to find a way to land the question gently. Alec’s hunched posture with his one arm folded against his body and the strange shuffle and drag gait always attracted a few stares once they had a chance to really look at him. She looked down at Alec again before flickering her gaze back to Murdoc. “I’m sorry...rude of me to pry.”

“It’s a’right,” Murdoc assured her. “You’re not the first person t’ ask me, love.” Murdoc cleared his throat as he gave himself a mental about-face. “He was in an accident a few years ‘go.” Keep it simple. No need to get into the finer details. Cracking a smile, he reached around and ruffled at Alec’s hair. “But we dun’ let that get in the way of havin’ a good time, eh boy?” He raised his head back up, meeting Helen’s smile. “So, err...how you been, love?”

“Live up north,” she said softly. “Little cottage of sorts.”

“Seein' an'one?” The words had tumbled out of his mouth before his brain could stop him. He told himself this was probably normal conversation between two people who had shared intimate moments together. Or was that just him? “Sorry, a bit forward of me.”

“I am....,” she whispered. “How 'bout you?”

“Permanently off the market,” he chuckled, holding his hand up with the single ring on his finger. “At least until we totally grow tired of one 'nother.”

This time she did nothing to hide her surprise. “Really? That’s quite the leap. You were never one to be tethered down.”

“Hardly tethered,” he chuckled. “An’ well, not gettin’ any younger, y’know. Decided it was time to plant my crooked arse for good.”

“How’d you meet her?”

He hesitated a moment, unsure of how to answer this question. The no frills edition usually worked well enough on most, but this was someone who had been an important part of his life and still held her close to his heart. She’d always been so good to him even when he’d been a complete degenerate towards her. “Met her durin’ the last tour,” he said as he lit himself up a cigarette. “Stumbled ‘cross each other when I was in Seattle for a show. We hit it off an’ decided we wanted t’ see where thins’ went.”

“Have a thing for foreigners?” she said through a good-natured laugh.

“I reckon I do,” he chuckled. “We have Alec here...an’ ‘nother on the way.”

Her eyes grew wide at the last remark. “ _TWO_ of them?”

“I know, shocking eh?” He uttered a laugh, unable to tear his eyes from her. Christ, she was still beautiful. He had to keep himself grounded and not lose himself to the old memories. It had been ten, eleven years now, hadn’t it? He glanced down at Alec briefly as he tried to do the math in his head. Alec was six. He’d been involved with Hailey going on around seven years now. He met her four years after he and Helen had parted ways. Wow, eleven fucking years? Really? He shook his head in minor disbelief as he struggled to keep himself grounded. Focus on that beautiful face with the dazzling smile and sparkling eyes. Fleeting memories of the two of them tangled together in his bed. He could feel his cheeks flaring up, laughing nervously as he shifted a bit where he stood. “So who’s the lucky bloke who managed t’ snag you?”

“Government worker,” she said, still smiling at him. If she’d caught the blush to his cheeks, she hadn’t let on. “Nice enough man. Combat trainer for local constable. I needed someone who could handle me.....Rather hard settling for silver and bronze when you were accustomed to the taste of platinum.” The last remark did not go unnoticed by him. Her not so subtle way of saying he’d been an epic lay. She’d always been able to stoke his ego and had done it plenty during their time together.

“Glad you found someone who could keep up with you,” he said, unable to stifle the nervous laughter. He continued to look her over carefully, taking in every part of her that was different yet the same. Free falling into memories that were becoming more vivid the further he dived. The two of them uncaring where they could comfortably get it on. His bed, the walls of the Winnebago, in the Pontiac, against the side of the Winnebago, the side of the road...and that blissful week they’d had when she’d been hired to train some cadets. All his reservations about sticking with one bird had been pretty much demolished when Helen had entered his life. The woman had a sexual appetite that matched his own. Always out to find new and creative ways to fire him up. She’d damned near short circuited his brain a few times with some of the things she’d come up with. And the more he thought about it, the more acutely aware he became of himself growing hard. His hand moved reflexively down, trying to be nonchalant about it, quick and hopefully discreet adjustment with his hand. Down boy, not right now.

Not discreet enough. Murdoc’s quick movement hadn’t gone unnoticed, Helen flashing a sympathetic smile even as her own cheeks blushed a brilliant pink. Was she thinking back to the same things he was? Remembering all those deliciously heated moments together that had turned him into putty in her hand? A woman who expected some level of faithfulness but willing to turn a blind eye to his more questionable habits. She had unwittingly revealed to his bandmates that he’d been capable of having a reasonably healthy relationship. His head was a jumbled assortment of thoughts, guilt, urges and confusion. Memories of her smiling, laughing. Memories of that same flush to her cheeks as she writhed beneath him. So many good things associated with her presence in his life. But he was a different person then, wasn't he? His life may not have gone exactly as he had planned, but he wasn’t a hundred percent sure he’d be willing to trade it now. The grip of Alec's hand brought him crashing back into reality. Looking down, he saw the boy staring at him now with wide green eyes. Her eyes. “Err...it was good seein’ you Helen,” he said finally. “Really good. I’m glad life is treatin’ you well.”

Helen closed the distance quickly, pulling him into a tight hug. “It was good seeing you too, Murdoc.”

The hug had been surprising and he found himself momentarily frozen under her embrace, mind reeling as her familiar scent filled his nostrils. This was more difficult than he realized, his nether regions fighting against what little will he had. More fleeting memories and emotions, suddenly remembering the state he’d been in after they’d parted ways. Remembering the realization that he had indeed loved her and losing her had torn something from him he could never describe. Sighing against her hair, he gave her a quick peck on the cheek . “Take care, love. Put your bloke through the wringer for me.”

When they finally parted, his hand lingered on her arm a moment, wanting to tuck away the memory of the feel of her skin beneath his fingers one last time. They may come across each other again, he reminded himself. She was here in the UK somewhere. Then again, this might be it. A simple chance meeting to bring some level of closure. The universe was weird like that. Though he hadn’t given her a lot of thought in many years, every part of her and the good she’d brought to his life was suddenly open and exposed in his mind. Though their parting had been mutual, it hadn’t lessened the pain it had brought. He shoved those thoughts away as he let his hand fall away from her arm and watched as she started to walk away, disappearing into the crowd and gone from him again. His Hellion. Still unchanged after all these years. One of the few who were lucky enough to get close enough to see the man beneath the bravado.

**********************

Reaching her car, Helen took a deep breath and struggled against the tears that threatened.  Bracing herself against the drivers side, she closed her eyes and uttered a gasp. How many years had it been? Over a decade for sure. Old and unwanted emotions surfacing, remembering those last moments before they’d parted ways. Brief words, a quick embrace before she’d gotten into her car and drove away, knowing that it would most likely be the last time she’d ever see him. They hadn’t parted on bitter terms, both of them realizing that the heat of their relationship was cooling. She couldn’t recall any specific event that made her realize this, just some weird understanding that while the relationship had bee n good, they were just no longer in the same place anymore.  Weeks later, after she’d gotten herself settled back in Australia, word had gotten around of an accident during a Gorillaz video shoot and their young guitarist was missing and feared dead. It would come to light several years later that Murdoc had been involved with some less than ideal groups and had been involved with them even during most of their relationship.  Rumors that these groups he had involved himself in had been involved in the video-shoot accident.  She’d convinced herself for a while that maybe things had cooled because he’d been trying to put distance between them in an effort to keep her safe.  If this group was willing to attack a fifteen year old band mate to send a message, what would they do to the man’s partner?

She kept up on various Gorillaz news through the years and had heard about numerous issues the group had faced, particularly with the whole Plastic Beach schtick. She assumed it a gimmick seeing that the band was well known for some weird things. Breathing a sigh of relief when she had spotted a young woman who looked amazingly like the missing guitarist,  assuming their guitarist had resurfaced and was back with the band .  She had even pondered over going to  the Sydney show in spite of mates telling her it was a bad idea. She had loved Murdoc immensely  and had thought that attending might bring some kind of closure. She had gone to a show and had felt a bit more resigned upon seeing him, taking note of how worn out he had looked. Thinner than she remembered. He still played like the pro he was, but it was obvious something had been troubling him. Not long after, she heard about the tour canceling abruptly  after a US show on the west coast and Gorillaz vanishing under the radar. Nothing more said or heard about them. 

She eventually had moved forward, tucking her memories of Murdoc away in the safer parts of her mind. She’d met Brandon when he’d contacted her regarding drive training for police cadets. It would require her returning to the UK and there were some reservations over this, but she had decided she wasn’t going to avoid the entire country over one man. Brandon surprised her when she had met him face to face, a tall and imposing gent a few years older than her, who was firm with his subordinates but not in a way that made him an arsehole. After going over all the contract details, he’d asked her out to lunch and things progressed from there. Within a few years, they were living together and there had even been talk of marriage, though neither were in any real hurry. She still scheduled the occasional police cadet defensive driving seminar that took her around the country and even a few in Spain, Italy and France. Carting around her car - affectionately known as Mad Maxine - had been an expensive mess, but always worth it because she would promise the trainees a ride in the beefy muscle car once the courses were completed. Young adults the trainees may have been, but their faces lit up like a bunch of little kids upon realizing they would get the privilege to ride in her precious Maxine.

Whispers of Murdoc resurfacing had hit her ears and she found out through mates that he’d gone on to a second career working on music for film and television. From there, it was finding out that all the former Gorillaz band members had started their own things and were finding success in those new ventures. She listened enough to get the jist of it all but generally avoided looking overly eager about any information. By this point, it had been maybe five or six years since her and Murdoc had parted ways and while the pain was nowhere near as fresh, it still sometimes jabbed a sensitive part of her. Everyone had moved on with their lives, her included. Brandon never knew about her relationship with Murdoc. He was aware she’d been involved with a musician, but she had never shared anything in the way of details. Her entire logic was it was a past relationship and none of his business. And Brandon shared the same belief on that matter. She didn’t press about his past relationships and he didn’t press about hers.

They’d been living in the UK for s everal years  before she had discovered the little farmer’s market and had been excited to check it out. It had become her favorite place to go when the weather was agreeable.  She certainly hadn’t expected the curveball the universe decided to toss her way. Of all the days she had to be there for something, it had to be this day. Only there  for some beef cuts and maybe a loaf of good bread, completely lost in her own little train of thoughts as she made her way towards the butcher kiosk. Standing in line, minding her own business when she’d heard a voice she thought she’d never ever hear again. Turning and seeing him standing there, not yet seeing the little boy with him. When she’d said his name, he stood bolt upright and she could almost hear the thoughts racing through his head as he turned around. Aged, more grey in his hair, glasses perched on his nose and a bit more filled out, a far cry from the reed thin and troubled looking man tearing up his bass on stage six years back.  His greying black hair also appeared to have a great deal of crumbs and powdered sugar caked into it. 

Too many memories had assaulted her sense s , remembering how every part of him felt against her.  His smell, his taste. She had to slam the door on those memories if she hoped to function at a minimal level just to talk with him. She hadn’t been prepared when she realized the boy standing next to him was his. The boy couldn’t have been older than five or six years old. A handsome little boy with dark brown hair and massive green eyes, traits she assumed must have come from his mother.  She could definitely see Murdoc in him, from the shape of his ears to the same prominent chin and even the smile when he ducked behind his father’s leg. Caught off guard upon realizing the lad had motor control issues of some kind.  And from an accident of some kind? Had it been a car accident? So much she had wanted to ask but bit her tongue. You d idn’t pry into those type of things . Especially when only running into an old flame.  She was still trying to wrap her brain around the fact that Murdoc had fucking kids. The man who’d once told her he had zero desire to go down that road and had even joked about dodging responsibility in the past had actually  settled down and started a family?  It did make her wonder if this had  been what led to their parting ways? Had he realized he was actually wanting things most men his age already had? It seemed like such a foreign concept.  Murdoc Niccals actually settle his arse down with a spouse and kids? Laughable! But the proof of this was literally standing behind his legs and looking up at her with curiosity. Then to find out he had another one on the way!

Being able to catch up with him, even if only briefly, had been a necessary thing. Something she never realized she had needed. Seeing him well, seeing him healthy and happy. A complete one eighty from what she’d seen over six years ago on the stage.  And it had delighted her to see him doing so well. Even if his life changes had been a surprise, s he imagined it was probably a natural progression of things. She and Brandon owned a home together themselves and even a dog,  a massive rottweiler named Griff . They all had simply moved on to the next stages their lives had taken them. 

Raising her head up, she caught a glimpse of him across the car park, the little boy on his shoulders with some kind of a food item he was eating happily. That explained the powdered sugar in Murdoc’s hair. This thought actually made her laugh to herself. On their way back home, wherever that might be.  Couldn’t deny she was curious as to what kind of parent he was. She could only imagine the shenanigans he got up to. That childish spark was still there, even if tempered a bit with age and responsibility. It also had her wondering how his current partner handled his less than ideal moments. Those nights when his dreams were haunted by  the childhood traumas he struggled to forget or when things got too triggering and set off his temper.  Stupid thing to ponder over. Obviously they knew what they were getting into and had no qualms about the kind of baggage Murdoc brought to the table. They’d had a kid together and another was on the way. There was no way Murdoc kept any of his less desirable personality traits under wraps for that long  a nd he wouldn’t even try. He had always been a  _this is me, take it or leave it_ kind of man. 

Sliding into the drivers seat and firing up the muscle car, she smiled when she spotted him pulling out of the car park. He hadn’t seen her or noticed Maxine but that was alright. She was glad she’d been able to see him and speak to him, even if only briefly. And just as she’d gotten sucked into all the memories of their time together and remembering all the pleasant feelings associated with it, it was clear he was remembering too. The quick brush of his hand at the front of his jeans would have been comical if not for the little boy standing there. Trying to be discreet and in doing so becoming too obvious. 

Still smiling, she pulled out of the car park and revved the engine a few times for a group of teens ogling the massive muscle car as she idled at a stop sign.  The teens were quick to whoop and cheer her on as she pulled out into traffic. She caught another glimpse of his car ahead before it took a right and vanished. She took a left turn herself and continued on towards home with the few items she’d snagged. Home to Brendan and Griff. Funny how old flames can trigger so many weird feelings. With Murdoc it was different. They’d shared a great deal together. He was someone who rarely let people get close and not even his bandmates had been given the privilege of seeing much beyond the cover he presented to the world. She’d been given a privilege he rarely doled out to people. One of a few who were lucky enough to see the man behind the spotlight. 


	28. Aftermath

The last week could only be described as hell. There were no other words Alec could think of when he tried to put rhyme or reason to the events that had played out over the last ten days. Finding out his son had gotten the police involved and not only had gotten Murdoc tossed into jail, he’d also had Hailey locked away in the psychiatric wing of the hospital. His father was eventually released but now they were fighting to get his mother out of the hospital. Though Tessie had given a report to her view of the events, acknowledging that Murdoc had indeed struck Ben with his belt, the issue of who had pushed Hailey was still up in the air. All the fingers involved pointed at Ben, but Ben himself kept insisting that Murdoc had done it. This left Murdoc barred from seeing Hailey and Hailey ineligible for release due to her agitated state and nobody else in the mess was considered unbiased enough by hospital staff to be trusted with her care. Alec was ruled out due to his physical limitations, Tessie because of her link to the family and even her own parents ruled out. There was even talk of having a social worker assigned as her primary caretaker and possibly given enough legal leverage to bar Hailey was being released or even having any contact without the social worker’s expressed written approval. Talk of literally holding her indefinitely and never allowing Murdoc near her again. Alec had been terrified and had reached out to his father to let him know what he was hearing. Even talk of barring Alec himself from her, though he’d done nothing wrong. Overhearing staff saying his mother was too far mentally gone and a danger to herself and others. Saying that her family couldn’t be trusted with her care.

Hailey was full of her normal piss and vinegar, degrading everyone involved in keeping her a prisoner in the psychiatric wing of the hospital, three floors above where Alec had been. Though he'd finally been released days prior with a mile long list of doctor's recommendations and orders, he went to her room as much as he could. Legally, they couldn’t stop him yet so whenever they tried to have him leave, he’d tell them to kick rocks and get himself comfortable in the chair by her bed. They’d have to take him out of there by force. He was still trying like hell to come to terms with all the chaos that had unfolded. Nobody was denying that Murdoc had lost his temper and had hit Ben with a belt and Alec would address that with his father at a later time, but this didn’t mean his father was some kind of monster who couldn’t be trusted around his own fucking spouse. Alec also wanted to know why the authorities weren’t taking Tessie's statement into consideration. She’d been a visitor in their home and had witnessed the shit go down. She’d made it clear that his Dad was not the one who had pushed his Mum. But the authorities involved had to drag their feet. Had to do their stupid bloody investigation and treat Ben's word on the matter as gospel.

It just wasn't fair. He hated seeing his Mum so upset, wanting only her husband and to be back home. But she was also a smart and tough old bird, too, and this was evident in the medication regiment the nurses and doctors had her on. There were her normal meds and then there were other meds they tried to force her to take, meds that originally made her drowsy and a bit loopy. It had angered Alec to realize they were keeping her doped into a stupor to keep her manageable, but he started to catch on that Hailey knew their routine as well. She also knew her own specific pills like the back of her hand, taking those, but cheeking the extras and spitting them out once the staff had left the room. Hard not to smile at how stubborn his Mum was. The staff knew she was intercepting the meds somehow, watching her with narrowed eyes as she talked with Alec, clearly not falling into the drooling coma they expected her to. But it was still difficult to talk with her, wishing he could take her out of there. Hearing the crack in her voice when she talked about how much she missed his Dad, missed home and her own bed and couldn't understand why Ben had done this to them.

Alec's face collapsed into a heavy frown when he thought about his son. The boy was living in Chumleigh with his mother, acting as if nothing had happened, but only occasionally dropping a line to remind the police and doctors that his paternal grandfather was a brute of a man and his grandmother a nutter who couldn't be trusted. After all they'd done for him, this was how he paid them back. Alec found himself struggling greatly with the mixture of emotions regarding his young teenaged son. Caught between a great dislike and disappointment. He was a disappointment. Maybe this meant Alec himself was the disappointment? He couldn't even keep the boy in line and look what had happened! He had failed as a parent. Never mind all that he'd done to make sure the boy got the best, it obviously wasn't enough. Alec wasn’t enough. Alec had failed. Nothing he did would be enough for Ben. And here he was, still recovering himself and physically incapable of doing anything.

He voiced these concerns to Hailey finally, after stewing over them for days. Though he could feel the suspicious glares of the nurses and staff, he ignored them. All eyes on a very lucid Hailey, who should have been falling under the effects of the meds given at this point. He expected them to start sticking them into an IV at any time now since she’d managed to intercept their efforts for days. Hailey, on the other hand, didn’t seem to give much of a damn and listened to his concerns regarding Ben. After he said his piece, she cracked a smile and shook her head. “You're not a failure, Alec. Far from it. Please don't ever say that aloud. This is on Ben, plain and simple. He knew what he was doing. Maybe not cognitively mature enough to understand the consequences, but he knew he was wrong.”

“I just dun' understand why he did this,” Alec said in a low voice, raking a shaky hand through his hair. “I mean, he's a shit most of the time, but I'd never anticipate him bein' capable of pullin' a stunt like this. An' why is ever'one actin' like Dad is the monster here? Why are they still keepin' you here when it's obvious Ben lied 'bout that, too?”

“Well, if it's any consolation, he was sort of spot on about me being a head case,” she said through a snorting laugh. “I won't deny that....” The remark almost made him smile, but this was hardly a joking matter seeing the staff and on site social worker were trying to find a way to keep her indefinitely and bar all of them from having access to her.

“I'd laugh under different circumstances, Mum,” Alec said dismally. “I'm glad you have a good sense of humor 'bout this shit, but they’re tryin’ t’ find a way t’ keep you here. I dun’ think you want that.”

“Quit worrying about me,” she said abruptly as she sat up. “I’ve been planted in worse situations than this and know my way around it.” Resting her hand on his knee, she cracked a small smile. “How are you doing anyway? And don't lie about it, either, I saw the cane.”

“Legs are numb still,” he whispered. “Hard t' walk. Head dun' feel right an' the tremor is back in my hands.” Alec frowned, feeling her hand close around his. “It's like all the work I'd done t' get past this was in vain, Mum.” He hated feeling this fucking helpless, knowing he was practically back at square one and having to try to get through it all once again. It was nowhere near as bad as how he’d felt when he had first opened his eyes from the coma, but bad enough as far as he was concerned.

“You got this,” she said confidently as she gave his hand a squeeze. “Right now, I think we're all just lost in this chaos and dunno what to do. Once the dust settles, it will all work itself out, I'm sure.” Her brow furrowed a moment. “Do you know where Amy is? I haven’t seen her at all since before this mess started.”

Alec chewed his lower lip. Dad had sworn him to secrecy, didn't want Mum anymore upset or agitated than she already was. But of course she'd notice Amy's absence, right? Sure, she was a bit more distant with the family as of late, but she always seemed to come around at times when she was needed. This time was different though. He had promised Murdoc he wouldn’t tell her, but he had to say something. “Dad didn't want me t' tell you.....but she's in jail.”

“What for this time?” Hailey asked, her expression almost amused.

“Rammin' her car through the Richards' estate gates, punchin' Nina an' tryin' t' get her hands on Ben.” Alec shook his head, glancing over to gauge Hailey's expression. “I a'most kinda wish I'd been there t' see that. She knocked Nina out cold, apparently......She's facin' some serious charges, though.”

“So is Murdoc,” Hailey said, a small sigh escaping from her. “They only let him out because of his age, Alec, and you know this. But he's still facing some serious shit if they decide that Ben's side of this is the so called truth. Murdoc's willing to accept the responsibility of losing his temper and spanking Ben with the belt, but we can't let him take the fall for what happened to me. He had no part in that.”

Alec nodded, staring around the white and sterile room. He hated this. The one time his parents needed him the most and he was unable to do a damned thing about it. He didn't know what to do anymore at this point. Stu, Noodle and even Russ were helpless, hands tied in the matter due to their link to his father. He knew the authorities involved needed to sort the shit out, but why take so long? As long as the authorities continued to make it out that Murdoc was the aggressor, they were no closer to getting Hailey out of this hell hole. And what if the social worker succeeded in obtaining legal control and custody over her? What if they succeeded in keeping her locked up in the psych wing and not allowed access to her spouse and kids? Elder law was tricky on a good day because they would have to prove that Hailey was incompetent. Prove that Murdoc couldn’t care for her. He was over a decade older than Hailey and no doubt that would play to the social worker’s advantage. Not to mention the fact that she’d had several psychotic breaks over the years with two of them documented by her doctor. Luckily for them, even her primary care doctor had gotten into the mix to vouch for their side, pointing out that the last episode was nearly two decades ago and she’d been following his recommendations for years now with no further issues. Her doc had been pushing to get her released, but the social worker and staff were intentionally cutting him out of the process and trying to assign her a new doctor who backed up their recommendations.

“Don't think too much,” Hailey said sternly, dragging him from his thoughts. “You'll give yourself a headache, boy.”

A comfortable silence passed between them, broken abruptly by the low grumbling sounds of his stomach. He was hungry and hadn’t yet eaten breakfast. The sound of his stomach hadn’t gone unnoticed either, Hailey almost smirking at him as he clumsily got to his feet and grabbed his cane. He paused at the door briefly, turning to look at Hailey. “I'm gonna go down t' the cafeteria an' grab a bite t' eat, Mum. An'thin' you want?”

“A bottle of Grey Goose and a mallet,” she said in a strangely spot on version of his Dad’s accent.

Unable to contain himself, Alec laughed at the imitation. He’d always had a giggle over the strange accent his Mum had acquired. He could still tell his mother was American, but he realized that after living in the UK damned near forty years, she had picked up something of an accent. She was also a bit of a chameleon, able to adapt and adjust to her surroundings in order to avoid notice, a survival mechanism she’d developed from her years as a state ward. Toss in the slang she’d picked up through the years and it was quite the combination. She’d mastered mimicking Murdoc’s distinct accent and could even imitate the Stoke accent when that seeped through. Alec had only heard the Stoke accent come through a few times, usually after his Dad had tossed back a few too many drinks or when he got overly agitated and upset over something. Murdoc had been trying to do some kind of repair within the house and had gotten upset, turning his ire onto Hailey and going off. Alec could remember not understanding a fucking word that had come out of his mouth. Not one to stand there and let someone give her a verbal lashing, Hailey had shot back at him, mimicking the accent pretty good because Alec hadn’t understood her either. Clearly Murdoc had because he’d stared back at her in gape-mouthed silence.

After taking her order, he exited the room and shuffled down the corridor towards the lift, his stomach growling and wanting food with a quickness. Some eggs and toast sounded good. It was still within the time frame for breakfast, wasn't it? He dug around his back pocket and pulled out his phone to check the time. Not quite ten-thirty. Maybe? They apparently had a really good hash brown mixture plate that his Mum had gotten addicted to. That woman had a steel gut, it seemed like. Alec almost cringing at the memory of yesterday's breakfast, watching as she doused the food in half a bottle of Tabasco sauce. His stomach hurt just thinking about it. And they were going to get a repeat performance because she wanted the hash brown mix again along with the bottle of Tabasco. Up ahead, the sound of the lift snagged his attention. Alec paused abruptly, nearly dropping his cane when the doors opened and revealed Murdoc. “Dad?”

“Well, it's not the bloody Pope, yeah?” Murdoc chuckled, swinging Alec around and pulling him along as they walked back towards Hailey's room. “How's your Mum? She doin' a'right?”

“Irritated, mouthy, a regular peach,” Alec said, cracking a smile. “Does the hospital know you're here?”

Murdoc nodded, pulling some paperwork from his back pocket. “I have my ways, boy. Just took a bit more time an' string pullin' than I anticipated....”

Alec unfolded the paperwork, noting the legal jargon. Court papers? And down below, the signature of the magistrate. Legal documents ordering Hailey's release to a caretaker of _her_ choice. “So what the hell happened in court then?” he asked, handing Murdoc the paperwork. “Did they finally pull their heads from their arses an' listen t' reason?”

“Eugh.....somethin' like that,” Murdoc said, stopping at the door. “I got ol' Trev on the horn an' we had a nice long discussion regardin' this mess. Apparently, Ben is pullin' some of his own shit with Nina an' her sugar daddy, Aidan. Kid's got a black eye an' he claimed Aidan did it. Pushin' t' have charges brought 'gainst the ponce unless they pony up for that ski trip a bunch of his mates are takin' next month. That trip you wouldn’t let him go on, remember? As for the black eye, Ben got it play fightin' with those same mates.” Murdoc erupted into a throaty laugh, shoving the paperwork back to his pack pocket. “Trev put in his own witness report t' overhearin' Ben an' Nina discuss how the boy admitted t' lyin' 'bout what happened t' Hailey an' further reports 'bout what he was plannin' on doin' t' his stepfather.”

“What the hell happened t' him, Dad?” Alec sighed, shaking his head. “I just dun’ understand what his deal was or his motives. Why do all of this t’ us?”

“Dunno what t’ tell you, Alec,” Murdoc huffed. “Teens are arseholes on a good day.” His eyes lit up briefly as he pulled another stack of paper from his back pocket. “Eugh...one more thin'...You, my dear lad, still have legal custody of Ben. It never really got changed.” He held up the paperwork, a malicious smile stretching across his heavily lined face. “You sign this paperwork, the kid gets shipped off t' the youth center for a good year. Boot camp, Alec. He thinks we're hard asses? Wait until he meets the drill sergeant.” His smile fell a bit, seeing Alec's pained expression. Alec wasn’t vindictive like Murdoc could be. Taking the packet from Murdoc’s hands, Alec skimmed through the documents carefully. The idea of shipping the boy off somewhere made Alec feel like he was literally abandoning his son. Ben had already been abandoned by his mother and that side of the family, how would it make Ben feel knowing his own father signed his freedom away to be at the mercy of some jarhead?

Alec pushed open the door, allowing Murdoc to waltz through first. From within the room, he heard his Mum utter a noise, what almost sounded like a sob. He remained outside, allowing them the time they needed, feeling his own emotions rattle uncontrollably at the sound of her voice as she stammered and squeaked through her tears. One would think they'd been separated for longer than a week. He peered into the room, seeing Hailey now sitting up and grabbing at the walker they'd provided for her so she could get up and move. Her voice now thickening with her rising aggravation as she told him what had happened when she’d first arrived. Alec bit his lip, remembering that all too well. He had seen her when she first arrived. Restrained to the bed, drugged heavily. All because she'd been hysterical and out of control after they'd arrested his father. She’d been unwilling to allow anyone near her, threatening bodily harm to any who dared tried to get within so many feet of her. Not that he blamed her, but he also knew that her ankle had needed tending to and they did what they had to do in order to gain access to her injury. But it hadn’t changed the fact that those first few days had been hell for her and hell for Alec to witness. Seeing her drugged so heavily, she was out of her mind. Rambling about things that made no sense. Sometimes comparing this stint in the ward to some other time long ago when she’d been just a kid. Something about a burning home and a toddler who died. He hadn’t been sure what to make of the ramblings or their context because she’d never been forthcoming about her childhood. Once she was coherent enough to get around the staff’s attempts to keep her drugged, she sobbed uncontrollably for a good day or more, wanting to be home, wanting his father, wanting Amy there to kick the doctors in the nuts.

Now she was happy, even with the tears that cracked her voice. Rattling away about how she would leave with her wrinkly ass hanging out of her hospital gown if she had to. She was going home come hell or high water. Murdoc merely sat beside her, arm around her shoulders, allowing her to ramble on and on, her hands even gesturing wildly at the air, her head pressed into his shoulder. Alec couldn't help but smile as he watched, seeing the simple affections that spoke louder than any words could. It was odd to see it considering both his parents were never big with PDA, but their normal comfort zones were out the window at this point. The hospital, the staff and even Alec no longer existed in those moments. It was just Hailey and Murdoc. And Hailey was ready to waltz out with her ass hanging out and both middle fingers in the air.

Alec leaned in the doorway, going over the paperwork in his hands. Sign this and he could have Ben picked up and hauled off. He could do it himself or have the local police do it for him. Was this really necessary though? Perhaps therapy was the better alternative? Of course, there was the risk the kid would have the therapist fooled into believing he was some abused kid simply trying reach out for help. The youth center was hours and hours away. Christ, he didn't know what Ben needed anymore. The boy had become a stranger almost overnight. He didn't like the idea of Ben being out of his reach. To make matters worse, Nina was milking it for all she could. He wasn’t allowed over there and Ben wouldn’t take his calls. He hadn’t been able to talk to Ben since all this craziness had started. There was the fact that Ben knew he'd be in some hot water regarding what had happened, but the kid was also finding himself with a ton of freedom he'd never had, allowed to make his own choices, run his own show. Nina allowed it all because she had no time and no idea on how to put her foot down. Well, he could either leave the kid there with his mother or sign those papers, have the kid picked up by the constable and taken – by force if need be – to the youth center.

From the room, Hailey was scooting the walker, her injured leg propped on the small platform, staring at Alec now with wide eyes. “Oi, I thought you were bringing me my hash browns and Tabasco?”

***********************

Sitting in the Murdoc’s study, Alec sifted through the notes and reports from the on staff psychiatrist who worked at the youth center. Ben had been sent off almost two weeks ago, taken in handcuffs by the two uniformed officers who had shown up at the Richards' estate to take the boy. From the reports Alec read, it appeared that not only did Nina try to hold her ground and bar the police from taking Ben, the boy himself had put up a massive fight and would have to attend a court hearing in another week for assault. Nina had almost gotten herself arrested, claiming she had custody and had not authorized any transfer to Echo Glen. Alec had to smile at that because while she did in fact have court documents, they were only good for as long as Alec had been hospitalized. Once released, they were null and void, physical and legal custody technically transferring back to him. The smile was short lived, especially when he reached the segment of the report outlining Ben’s effort to resist being detained. Shame. Alec hadn’t wanted it to lead to this but with Nina refusing to connect him with Ben and Ben refusing to talk to him, he had been left with little choice in the matter.

The reports from the psychiatrist were confusing because the doctor had more or less there was definitely some kind of personality disorder at play, but he was too young for any official diagnosis. Possible abandonment issues stemming from his mother walking out on him eight years ago, issues that couldn’t be magically fixed with a two week holiday in his mother’s custody. A little narcissistic perhaps, but he was a teen and that was par for the course. Possible attachment disorder was mentioned though the psychiatrist wasn’t ready to lay that one down officially because where-ever he or Nina had failed in meeting Ben's needs as an infant and toddler, Alec's parents – and to some degree, his sister – had picked up the slack. Ben was a puzzle, plain and simple. Could have been any number of factors that played into this.

The one and only time Ben had called was the day he had been admitted, calling his father every foul and disgusting word he could think of. Even shooting off jabs at his physical issues, saying that his seizure was karma for being such a tool to Nina, calling him defective and how it would have been better had he died from his injuries. Alec had been hurt by the tirade, unprepared for such a reaction and for such words. And it made him really wonder if he had, in fact, failed the boy without even meaning to. Feeling the tears threaten as he hung up the phone with Ben still ranting on the other end. Wiping at his eyes and hiding those tears from his parents and Tessie, unwilling to allow them to see that Ben had successfully brought him to his knees. Imagine that, years of getting over the obstacle of an uncooperative body, a slag partner bailing on him and their son and being the sole one to have to clean up the messes their son had done, it took a few sharp words and insults from the boy to almost make him fucking break.

Outside the study, his parents and Tessie were preparing supper. Whatever his Mum had in mind, it required the assistance of both Murdoc and Tessie. Hailey was moving around rather well, though still relying on her walker to keep the leg supported. There had been fear it would cripple her further, but she proved them wrong. Of course, the heavy duty pain pills probably helped a great deal too. But here it was, three weeks since her accident and she was hopping around like she had barely sprained the blasted thing. He knew she’d just been happy to be home. The hospital staff and social worker had fought tooth and nail to keep Murdoc from having her discharged but he had court papers and that was that. The staff had even tried to get security to bar her from leaving and she’d glared at the poor muppet and told him flat out if he didn’t move, she would gouge his eyes out and cram them down his fucking throat. With no authority to hold her, all they could do was stand aside as she scooted herself out on her little special walker with Murdoc gloating behind her.

Stuffing the reports into his shoulder bag, Alec got up and slipped out of the small study, pausing just at the entryway to the kitchen, watching the trio try to work together. Tessie and Murdoc were arguing over how Hailey wanted some vegetables cut, Hailey at the stove, humming to herself and oblivious to the small war that was about to erupt just mere feet behind her. Alec cracked a smile, finding the whole sight just comical. Murdoc decided to allow Tessie to do it her way, but not before snatching some of the diced bell peppers and shoving them into his mouth, her protests falling on deaf ears all around. They barely gave Alec a passing glance as he walked through to the lounge and out the back French doors, lighting a cigarette. As much as it pained him, he had to let Echo Glen sort Ben out and hopefully, after some more sessions with the psychiatrist there, as well as the vigorous military style boot camp atmosphere, he would be a changed lad. Murdoc reminded him often that sometimes this just happened with kids. There could be no reason for it. Ben could just be a little shit head. It happened to the best of them. Maybe he was just a punk kid and shit just escalated into that big blow-out. No doubt being spoiled rotten by his long absent mother certainly hadn't help the boy's sense of entitlement. Ben was in Echo Glen’s hands now. He just needed to quit thinking about it. The more he worried and wondered, the worse off his stress levels were. And the last thing he needed was more stress. He was still struggling with a body that was once again betraying him and needed to focus on getting back into the saddle, more or less. Work hard. Get his mobility back and leave the cane behind for good.

“Lighten up, the boy will be fine,” Murdoc said, the sound of his voice startling Alec. Alec looked over his shoulder, seeing him slip through the doors and claim a chair. “You worry too bleedin' much, Alec, you know that?”

“I know, I know,” Alec breathed, watching the smoke escape from his mouth and nose, swirling into the air around them. “It's hard.....”

“Yeah, it is,” Murdoc muttered as he threw one leg over his knee and eased himself back into the chair to get comfortable. “It’s rotten when your kid gets in t’ a cock up an’ there isn’t much you can do. Satan’s balls, do I know that.” This remark did make Alec smile initially, but when he glanced over at Murdoc, the old man wasn’t smiling at all. He looked tired and even a bit worried as he lit his own cigarette. “Keep in mind, I'm still waitin' t' hear 'bout what happens t' Amy. She's a firecracker, Alec. An' like a firecracker, she’s dangerous if you’re too close when she blows. I can't get her outa this mess this time 'round. She's gonna have t' face the music an' this means some hard time.”

“They won't even take in t' consideration the shit goin' on that led t' it?” Alec asked, peering over at him. “No consideration at all for the circumstances that led to it?”

“Nope,” Murdoc said gruffly, exhaling a plume of smoke. “She’s got a rap sheet a mile long, Alec, an’ she caused a considerable ‘mount of damage when she raided the Richards’ property. Plowed through the gates with her car, attacked Nina an’ Ben...” He let out an irritated sigh, taking another drag from his cigarette, his dark eyes staring at the overcast sky. “She's a'most thirty-one, Alec. Old 'nough t' know better. An' old 'nough t' not have Daddy bail her out.” Something about his expression disturbed Alec. He could remember Mum telling him that they had been close and she’d always been close with their father, but all Alec ever saw since waking a a cool aloofness between Amy and Murdoc. A strange tension that could be felt. There’d been a row between them of some kind, though Alec hadn’t been made privy to the details. It had happened shortly after Murdoc had gotten himself out of jail. There’d been so much fucking chaos going down in the days after Murdoc had gotten out of jail, Alec couldn’t even piece together all the craziness. He’d caught the tail end of another argument or fight between Amy and Murdoc when he and Tess had showed up to help clean the house upon his return and thought both he and Tess wondered what had happened for things to become to strained between them, Murdoc was not forthcoming with this information. He’d been furious and he’d wanted Amy out of the house and that had been that.

“So you’re not even gonna try t’ help her out?” Alec asked, taking a drag off his own cigarette.

“Not this time,” he said, shaking his head. “She needs t’ face the music, plain an’ simple.”

“Wow, now I know you've gotten old an' tired,” Alec laughed. “Ten years 'go, you woulda been on the sidelines, cheerin' her on!”

Stubbing out his cigarette, Murdoc cleared his throat. “Remember what we talked 'bout a while back? The thins' your Mum an' I did when you were small?”

“I do. Rather hard t' forget somethin' like that, you know,” Alec said in a low voice, glancing over his shoulder at the house.

“Same concept applies here,” Murdoc said in a matter of fact tone, raking a hand through his silver hair. “We're at different stages in our lives now. We're old an' tired. The people we were a decade ago even are not the same people we are now. Amy needs this t’ happen. She'll have to face the consequences of her actions, just as I will be facin' the consequences of my actions when I laid my hands on Ben.”

“You had a lapse of judgment after bein' pushed t' your limits, Dad. Nobody can fault you for that,” Alec said, staring at the old man. “He hurt Mum. He could have killed her, even if the whole mess was an accident.”

“I dun' even wanna think 'bout that, Alec,” Murdoc huffed, easing his frame into the cushions and closing his eyes. “Bad 'nough they took her from me an' kept me from her. I dunno what I woulda fuckin’ done if he’d killed her, even accidentally.” He kept his eyes closed, a heavy sigh erupting from him before he spoke again. “I know I dun' say it, but I love your Mum. Dunno where I'd be without her, Alec. I can't have her taken from me. The idea that she may die first terrifies me.”

Alec flashed a sad smile, staring at Murdoc, who was still and unmoving on the chair. “I know, Dad. I know. You never had t' say it. We all could feel it. But death is a part of life, too, Dad. You can't change that.”

“This topic is depressin',” he muttered, eyes still closed. “Pick a cheerier subject t' bore me with.”

A small chuckle erupted from Alec. He knew his Dad was uncomfortable talking about some things. It was obvious this was one of them. Couldn't blame the old fart, though. He didn't talk about how he felt most of the time unless it involved his stomach or his nob. Digging deeper often just caused him to clam up or sling some joke or insult of sorts to derail the conversation. Avoid it at all costs. He'd come close to facing this fear weeks ago, which most likely made him more attuned to what Hailey needed or wanted. Cherish what you have and all that rot. After sitting there silent for longer than he’d intended, he turned to Murdoc, cracking a toothy smile. “Tessie an' I are movin' in t'gether.”

“That so?” Murdoc cracked open one eye, the smile curling onto his face. “Well, ‘bout bloody time, I say. So you takin' over the house she had with that swine she was married t'?”

“No. Found a nice new flat just at the outskirts of town. Big, too, I might add. Three bedrooms, nice spacious balcony....” Alec could still see the flat in his mind, the two of them there for the viewing barely a few days ago. It was probably bigger than they needed, but he reasoned that it would allow them all the space they needed without driving each other nuts. And if Ben made significant progress in the next year or so, he'd be coming home to a new home and new bedroom. It would probably be a huge adjustment for Ben, coming home and finding out he had a new place to live and Tessie was now living with them, but there was hope he would accept the changes. Alec was ready for this step. Things had been going well between him and Tess and her divorce had been finalized shortly after he’d been admitted to the hospital. No more legal baggage or headache. She was free of Tucker and able to move on with her life and they’d both decided they were ready to take the next step with things.

“She's not pregnant, is she?” Murdoc snickered, still staring at Alec with one eye.

“Christ, no,” Alec sputtered, laughing. “Not sure I am ready t' go down that road 'gain.....Ben's a'ready a teenager.”

Murdoc sat up, opening both eyes, staring over at Alec. “Well, your Mum an' I certainly weren't ready for that road either, Alec.....an' look how it all turned out. Regardless of what you believe or what that lil' nob says, you did a bloody fine job with Ben given the circumstances you were both dealt. Just keep in mind that sometimes being unprepared is the best way t' know you _are_ prepared.”


	29. Music Box, Part I - Awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: NON CON, ATTEMPTED ASSAULT

There was a period of time when Amy Lee Niccals didn't speak. Though she'd spent her toddler years mostly shrieking, it seemed that just as she was finding her words and actually beginning to talk, everything stopped. She’d gone from actually holding small and delightful conversations to pure silence. No shrieking, no broken babbles, just a strange silence that unsettled Murdoc down to his bones. Both he and Hailey suspected the root of her silence, but neither one of them wanting to voice it aloud. They couldn’t. It became a heavy thing between them, unsaid even as they watched Amy wander through the house like a tiny little phantom. Murdoc knew something should be said, but it ruined their feigned ignorance. Alec found her silence curious, but seemed mostly relieved that he no longer had the four year old trailing behind him babbling away about Satan knew what. The little girl seemed to be quietly observing the household as it went through its motions, studying them all. Her attention seemed to be mostly on Murdoc and Hailey and this deepened his suspicion that her silence had a great deal to do with what she'd witnessed in the basement, if she witnessed all of it. Without her speaking, they had no idea how much she’d seen.

They’d both been partially undressed and laying across a dead man when they had realized they were being watched. Both of them too stunned to speak or react right away when they realized it was Amy sitting on the stairs, her dark eyes fixed on the two of them. Upon realizing their audience, it had been Murdoc who scooped the little girl up to take her back to her bedroom. Though she’d said nothing, he gave some half arsed excuse of her having a nightmare and sleepwalking. That whatever she thought she saw had not been real. Hell, for all he knew, he had been digging himself a deeper hole. Maybe she saw nothing. Maybe she just caught that last bit with him merely laying on Hailey, his own mind still spinning and confused over what she had pulled him into. But Amy had still seen the man tied down and bleeding on the table. Still had seen their state of undress. And when he had approached her at the steps, she stared up at him with wide dark eyes, seeing something other than her father. He caught on to that almost instantly and he almost felt something twinge at the realization. She saw a monster, didn't she? Never mind that Hailey had been the instigator, it was she who sported the injuries from their frantic, violent and lust fueled actions in the basement. She who still bore the evidence of it all the next morning with her darkened and swollen lip and dark marks on her cheek. Though she covered the marks with make up the best she could, Murdoc could still see the slight swelling of her lip. Alec appeared none the wiser and he generally turned a blind eye to a lot of weird things between his parents for the obvious reasons. But Amy stared at Hailey's face, as if she could see through the layer of make up. That carefully constructed facade they’d managed to maintain for years with their kids appeared to finally be crumbling. Amy saw through it. Amy saw what they kept hidden beneath the facade. She saw the real them. Her child's mind had pieced it together and the pit in Murdoc's stomach intensified when he realized that she'd most likely seen a great deal of what had taken place.

Hailey was concerned about Amy's silence, but never pushed the issue or tried to encourage the tot to speak. Murdoc would sometimes stand just outside the doorway to Amy's room, listening as Hailey talked to the little girl softly, weaving the lie that they'd go on to repeat so much that even they'd begun to believe it was the truth. “Must have been a scary nightmare for you to stop speaking, Amy....”

A nightmare, that was what they called it.

Murdoc could certainly agree with that. The surreal nature of it all and the utter lack of control sure made him believe that he'd been caught up in a nightmare he couldn't escape. Seeing red, wanting to dominate, humiliate and hurt her. Her struggles only fueling his need further. He’d been wild with the anger and lust, his focus solely on her and that mocking smile he’d wanted to wipe from her face as he powered into her like an animal. They'd both been blind and oblivious to what had been going on around them. So blind, in fact, that their focus had been primarily on one another and the pain, their captive even forgotten in those moments. Hailey had managed to drag him into her darkness, reminding him that he was no different than her. He could be pushed to act and she knew what buttons to push. She’d tapped into that part of him he tried to ignore. Able to draw that darkness out of him and allow it to run free. Fury, lust and the need to dominate over-riding whatever reason he had left in those moments.

Christ, how much had Amy witnessed? How could her four year old mind absorb it all?

Hailey suggested a small token gift, something that might help draw her out and bring comfort. He wasn't really sure what she meant. What could a small gift do that they hadn’t already done? As if some petty object could bring her out of wherever she was hiding herself. Hailey insisted, even stating that her old plush rabbit she'd had as a child had brought her comfort through her nightmarish childhood. A plushie she still possessed, grabbed from her room when they’d snuck into her old apartment years ago. Perhaps something similar would help with Amy? Though he didn't think it would help, he relented and went out in search of something Amy might like. He'd found the warped little music box in an antique store. The chimes weren't quite right, but the tune was interesting enough to hold him and convinced himself that Amy would like it. A simple little wooden box with a crank on the side. Amy had accepted it without a word and soon their evening hours were filled with the warped chimes coming from her room. A strangely chilling little tune that carried from her room to the narrow hall, sometimes making every hair on Murdoc’s body stand on end when he went to the upper levels of the house and heard it. Had this been a good idea? She appeared to like the small gift, but had yet to speak.

Murdoc attempted to put it all out of his mind. He simply avoided acknowledging the reason behind her silence. Just focus on her, coax her out of wherever she was hiding herself. With her silence also came keen observation. He and Hailey finding her standing in doorways, watching them. They'd never hear her or see her until she was right there. And Murdoc was more than certain there were times when she was watching them and they were mostly unaware. Times when he'd take pause in whatever he was doing, be it showering or caught tangled in the sheets with Hailey, feeling the unsettling sensations that told him he was being watched but never able to see who it was or where it was coming from. He went from doting over her to actively avoiding her at times. He couldn't handle those wide dark eyes staring at him, seeing something he wasn't privy to. There were times when he couldn't avoid her, of course. She was a small child in need of care and they all lived under the same roof, so it was a given that he'd be one in charge of her care from time to time. Preparing her food, preparing her bath and things of that nature. But every time they were within close vicinity of one another, he could feel her stares on his back.

A few things stuck out in his head during those silent months. Things that had shaken him to his core. One night, he was relaxing in the sitting room, plopped in the overstuffed chair and reading a magazine. He could see her sitting in the other chair, just out of the corner of his eye. He found himself occasionally glancing at her, realizing that she merely sat there, still as can be, staring at him. She didn't blink, didn't flinch. Her head tilted just slightly, legs splayed out, ankles just drooping off the edge of the chair. Not a single muscle moved. Christ, was she even breathing? He tried to ignore her, resuming the article he'd been reading, but very aware of the little thing sitting across from him, watching him. So still and silent. And when she finally did move, it was so abrupt, it had startled him. Sitting forward to slide herself off the chair, almost like a doll coming to life, leaving the room as silently as she'd entered it.

The other time, it had been maybe mere weeks before she'd started talking again. Enjoying a hot shower in the master bedroom's washroom. He and Alec had been working out in the yard most of the day. Though he normally avoided dealing with the yard work because he couldn’t be arsed with it, he had been seeking any excuse possible to get out of the house and out of that girl's line of sight. Let Hailey deal with what he'd been dealing with. Hailey wasn’t her focus so of course she would think he was reading too much into things. She didn’t have a little shadow watching her every fucking move. Something was seriously going on inside that kid's head and he seemed to be the source of her focus. He tried to shove his worries out of his head, allowing the water to wash away the dirt and sweat of the day. Soap lathered, he found himself absently stroking himself, his mind bringing about visions of the morning's activities, activities he and Hailey had indulged in just before the kids had awoken. Remembering just how her eyes looked as they peered up at him from lowered lids, her mouth wrapped around him and drawing him in slowly. As the image in his head worked harder, his hand began to do the same. He huffed loudly without meaning to, hearing his voice echo in the narrow tiled room. The sound of his voice echoing brought him about and it was then he realized he wasn't alone in the washroom. Throwing back the curtain, he let out a squeak of surprise when he realized he was staring down at Amy, who merely looked up at him before her dark eyes dropped to the soap lathered erection still in his hand. “Git outa here!” he'd barked angrily, snatching the towel from the bar and wrapping it around his waist. “What the bloody hell are you doin' in here, girl? Get out!” She had slipped out without a word, leaving him shaken and frustrated. His balls and cock ached from the interruption, but he was far from concerned with wanting to finish. Something fucked up was going on inside Amy's head. If there were any doubts before, they were gone at this point. Hailey may have been quick to dismiss it, but fuck if he was. He'd gone to Hailey, still clad in the towel and covered with soap, barking at her to keep that girl on a leash and that it was high time for her to sit the kid down and have a lengthy talk with her about spying and privacy. “She's four, she's curious,” she had simply replied, not even looking up from the book she'd been reading. His protests and insistence that there was more to it fell onto deaf ears. Hailey appeared to be living in some form of denial over what Amy had witnessed, as if she had even convinced herself that whatever Amy had seen had been little more than a nightmare. The dead man aside, did she forget the fact that he'd had Hailey pinned down and had slapped her senseless? This was not just a simple case of awkwardness after being caught in the act, this was something different altogether.

Eventually, she began speaking again. It was as if she'd never fallen into silence. One day it was pure silence and then suddenly, out of the blue she’d come up to Murdoc and had asked for a snack. Both were glad she’d resumed speaking, even delighted that she could speak so clearly, but Murdoc couldn't shake the feeling that there was still something more going on. Something else behind those large brown eyes that watched him and Hailey from a distance. Hailey tried to brush it off as awkwardness over being caught in the act but even as she said this aloud, he could hear the fear and uncertainty in her voice. Maybe she’d said it aloud as more of a cover for Alec. He honestly didn’t know. Even Alec wasn’t ignorant of the fact his parents still enjoyed the physical aspects of their relationship and Murdoc had never been prudish about it either. It wasn’t a simple awkwardness of being caught. It was the fact that their preschooler had caught him boning their mother like an animal in a room filled with gags, cuffs and whips and a fucking dead man. Amy never mentioned any of what had been seen and for that Murdoc was grateful. The last thing he needed was trying to explain away to some school official what it was Amy had seen. It had even led him to believe that maybe she hadn’t seen as much as they thought. He could hope, right?

At the surface, the house fell back to its normal routine. Alec and Amy were back to squabbling over space, toys or whatever else siblings bickered about and Murdoc was able to get comfortable in his own home again without worrying about the little silent shadow trailing after him. There were still times when he was certain they were being watched, but he began to shrug it off as nothing more than paranoia. Whatever dark place Amy had withdrawn into for those months, she was out of there now and babbling away at them as if her three months of dead silence had never happened. Though he could still see something off in the way she would watch them, he reasoned with himself that her little mind was coming to terms with whatever it was she saw, perhaps even convincing herself that it had been a nightmare, just as he and Hailey had insisted for months.

Months turned into years and eventually everything that had taken place truly felt like nothing more than a nightmare now long behind them. Murdoc had long ago disposed of Burnes' body, the former private investigator now joining what remained of Hunter out in a shallow grave on the property. There were times when he'd see both Alec or Amy out playing near the clearing, but was confident that the corpses would never be found. Amy had grown attached to the music box, offering to wind it and play it for him, but he usually refused the offer. The chimes now reminded him too much of those months when she was silent and cold to them. Ignorance was bliss, as far as he was concerned. He didn't want to remember anything about that night itself or the months that followed. Forget about Burnes, about what Amy possibly had seen and forget about her odd demeanor following it all. Just get on with their lives like they'd been trying to do since the moment Hunter had invaded their lives and altered everything for good.

***********************

The room was cold and empty. There wasn't much that indicated Amy's presence and this made Murdoc pause to scratch his head. A year ago, the room looked like any teenager's bedroom. Posters of celebrities he didn’t recognize, rock bands and whatever else struck her teenaged fancy. Now the room was almost bare. The walls and ceiling still held remnants of posters still stuck in thumb-tacks, faint outlines of discoloring that told him she'd been smoking in there and her guitar lay useless on her dresser, the thick layer of dust testimony to her neglect. He ran a finger over the ivory bass, the thick dust rubbing away and revealing the glossy finish. He wiped his hand on his jeans, gazing around the room. Something had changed but he couldn’t quite put his finger on what it was exactly. Maybe it was normal teenage angst? He’d dealt with his own teen angst growing up and had put up with Alec’s more low key attitude as he’d entered the teen years, but Amy was something different altogether. Was it a gender thing? He knew next to nothing about teenage girls. Could ask Hailey about it later when they were alone. Would she be able to offer up an explanation that made sense?

They'd found out just a few years ago that Amy more or less preferred women. That in itself wasn't the actual issue, both he and Hailey not really caring about her sexual preference, but it seemed to go hand in hand with some other things they’d discovered in the wake of finding out her sexuality. Word had come through the grape-vine that the youngest member of the Niccals family had a taste for violence with her partners, liking to overpower and dominate. Murdoc didn't want to know this information. His daughter was only fifteen! But the parent of one of her former playthings had called, relaying concern over bruises the girl had been sporting, bruises that apparently had been inflicted by Amy during one of their little trysts. He wasn't sure what to think anymore. Amy had become a stranger to them. Threats of punishment fell on deaf ears. Following through with those punishments had absolutely no effect on the girl. What made it all the more stranger was how she appeared to be completely unconcerned with her actions. It had led to several uncomfortable conversations about boundaries and consent, none of which she appeared to even take heed in. She liked what she liked and that was that. Murdoc despised having the conversations with her simply because he hated even saying aloud that she was sexually active and probably had been for a while. All fun and games to brag about his own prowess at thirteen or fourteen, but it was a different matter altogether when it came to even acknowledging that Amy was well versed in her own ways and had been since she was the same age.

Everything about her growing up had been one weird thing after another. They’d been faced with legitimate worry during her more formative years, noticing that most other kids her age were starting to talk and actually try to dress themselves. Not Amy. Nope, not her. Once she was able to walk, she was nothing but a blur with unruly black hair that shrieked at the top of her lungs and refused to wear a stitch of clothing. Barely fucking verbal. There had been talk of tests to see if she was possibly on the spectrum, but by the time they seriously started to consider it, she had started talking and babbling at them. They’d spent almost two years with earplugs in their ears because all she’d done was shriek and run. Once she was talking, she wouldn’t stop. This had lasted for less than a year before she fell dead silent in the wake of a visit from a private investigator. Murdoc intentionally shoved this back as far as he could, not wanting to remember the reasoning for her silence. She’d come out of it, of course, but something had changed. Before the three months of silence, she’d spoken with a roundness to her consonants and even a bit of a small lisp which was normal for young children. After the silence, she was speaking clearly and precisely. And Christ, was she smart. Reading well above her age level before she even started nursery school. Able to figure out complex problems that not even he could do.

The older she got, the more detached she’d become. She still enjoyed sitting with them and even the occasional hug, but there was no denying the strange aloofness. Murdoc had always enjoyed hanging out with the kids because they were both just so fucking different in personality and he’d found it amusing. Though Amy was never quite the same after that weird incident when she was small, he had thought they were reasonably close, even if she kept herself at a distance. She had even inherited one of his old bass guitars and they loved to play together when they could. He tried to bond with her in his own way and this meant crude jokes and music. She wasn’t as close with Hailey as she was with him and he had reasoned that this was normal. Alec and Hailey had been the close ones when the lad had been growing up and so it wasn’t a huge stretch to assume Amy would lean towards Murdoc since they were a bit more alike in personality. But there was something else there, something that didn’t quite sit right with him. And it became much more apparent once she had reached adolescence. That strange detached aura, watching all of them from afar.

Had he turned a blind eye to it for too long? Refused to acknowledge that there was something simmering beneath the surface of her doll like face with those strangely empty dark eyes? Or was he simply over thinking it all and everything he’d picked up about her over the last few years amounted to little more than regular teenage bullshit? Well, he was now standing in her bedroom and she’d stripped it damned near bare and as far as he knew, _this_ wasn’t normal. Or was it? Fuck if he knew. Teenage girls were a fucking mystery to him. He continued to look around the room, his curiosity rising when he realized that nearly everything that had made this room Amy’s had been stripped away. No posters. No framed art. No little figurines and trinkets she’d accumulated through the years. Just bare. Devoid of personality other than the light purple walls she’d insisted on having for her twelfth birthday. His eyes settled onto the wooden chest at the foot of her bed. Smudges in the dust around the lip indicated she'd been in it recently. Moving closer to it, he knelt down, hand resting at the lid. He knew he shouldn't be snooping through her things, but he needed to find out just what was going on. Why abandon her music and her mates? What had changed so abruptly for her?

“You shouldn't be in here, Dad,” came a soft and husky voice from directly behind him.

Murdoc turned with a start, staring at the young woman in the doorway. Amy's black hair was pulled into a sloppy pony-tail, some of it hanging across her face. He stood up slowly, feeling her dark eyes follow his movements. “Sorry, lookin' for somethin',” he murmured, meeting her eyes briefly. “Thought maybe I loaned it t’ you.” Her pale features seemed more narrow than he recalled. Almost gaunt. Hollow eyes staring directly at him. “Been wonderin' 'bout you, love,” he said in a low voice. “What've you been up t' lately?”

“Nothin' that really concerns you, Dad,” she said curtly, leaning in the doorway.

It was hard to gauge her mood, her face a perfect mask of no emotion, just like her mother. Able to stand there and simply stare, eyes boring down into you. Taking in her narrow features, he was surprised at how much she really looked like Hailey in those moments. Genetics are wild, he thought to himself absently. She and Alec shared the same nose, most likely what Murdoc’s would have looked like if it hadn’t been broken so many times. But Alec had indeed inherited a great deal of his features while Amy had taken more after Hailey. Most always assumed the other way around at a glance. Hard not to seeing that Alec had Hailey’s dark brown hair and green eyes while Amy had inherited Murdoc’s black hair and dark brown eyes. And those brown eyes were staring directly at him, as if they could see right through his poorly put together excuse as to why he was in her bedroom. He wasn’t a snooper. Had no reason to be. Neither he nor Hailey had ever felt the need to pry into their kids’ rooms. He took a breath, diverting his eyes from hers as he stuffed his hands into his pockets and sauntered towards the door. “No need t' get short with me, girl,” he huffed, pausing in the doorway to look at her.

She reached out, resting her hand on his arm. “I didn't mean t' be rude, Dad. I just dun' like it when my privacy is invaded. You know how that is.” Her hand moved up his arm slowly, stopping just at his shoulder. “Let me know when supper is ready, yeah?”

Her tone felt off. Everything about this felt _really_ fucking off. Something about the way her hand moved made the hairs on his body stand up on end. His gaze fell to the hand on his shoulder before flickering over to her face. The emotionless expression cracked into a small smile, but the eyes were still cold and dark. Empty eyes. Eyes that merely reflected back his own terrified expression. “I will,” he croaked dryly. He pulled away from her quickly, wanting to put as much distance between them as he could. Just what the hell was that? Why did it bother him so fucking much? Why was the look on her face so wrong to him? Shaking the unnerving moment away, he rushed down the stairs. Hailey was in the kitchen, poking and prodding at something simmering in a pan. Though it smelled great, he didn't stop to investigate the night's meal. A cold lager was in order. Something to dull the frazzled nerves. He didn't like the feeling he got. Like a long forgotten nightmare, it brought him back to those odd and unnerving moments of when she was a small tot, cold and silent to everyone in the wake of witnessing something terrible. Always watching. Always observing.

Dropping unceremoniously into his overstuffed chair, he twisted the cap off the bottle and downed most of it in one solid swig. There we go, take the edge off now. It was cold and crisp, liquid heaven going down his throat. “Poppet, can you get me 'nother one?” he hollered over his shoulder as he finished the bottle. Without a word, a fresh one was produced before him. Flashing Hailey a quick grateful smile, he uncapped the second one and downed it. A third was in order. Maybe a fourth and fifth one also. He just wanted to shake the uneasiness he felt and it didn’t take long for the beer to have its desired affect. He had to toss back over six of them to actually reach that point but what the fuck ever. He was the only one who drank the shit, right? By the time supper time had rolled around, he was feeling quite nice. Laughing to himself, pawing on Hailey as she tried to set the dishes out and sit down. He’d even went to fish a new beer from the fridge and uttered a noise of disappointment when he realized he’d knocked back too many and only had two left in the back. Hailey cocked an eyebrow at the rate he was throwing them back, but otherwise said nothing.

Plopping himself into his chair at the dining table, he was ready to dive into his plate. Worries momentarily forgotten as Hailey passed him the serving dishes. He took his meal eagerly, downing the vegetables and meat without even taking a break between. Across from him, Amy ate her own meal, not looking up at either of them. Hailey was mostly oblivious to the odd tension, eating her food and chattering about something amusing that Stu and Noodle had done while traveling state-side. Murdoc nodded in tune with the story he only vaguely heard, focusing on the sound of her voice. “And then.....he got ill and puked off the Empire State Building!” she squealed, erupting into a cackling laugh. Murdoc smiled through his bites, downing the lager in between, snorting a bit. Leave it to the Face-Ache to ruin a trip to grand ol' New York city, eh? No surprise there. The lanky tosser always got ill at the worst possible times.

Amy finished first, excusing herself quietly and disappearing back upstairs into that cave she called a bedroom. Hailey cleared the table, but not before setting another bottle in front of Murdoc. Christ, he was feeling it now, wasn't he? A nice warm buzz in his head. Rising to his feet, he made his way unsteadily to the living room, dropping back down into his chair. Behind him, he could hear the clatter of dishes and the running water as Hailey rinsed things off before loading them into the dishwasher. The sound was almost comforting to him. How peculiar was that? Between the lager and the sounds of normalcy behind him, it was easy to push the gnawing uneasiness in his gut and mind aside. Just don't think too much about it. It wasn’t as easy as he’d hoped, no matter how much beer he’d downed. He couldn't shake the image of that emotionless, cold face from his mind. The blank look. The cold eyes. He blinked, realizing that everything about her expression and demeanor made him think of Hailey during those darker moments of their lives. The same goddamned look. Cold, observant, calculating. Sugary Beelzebub, might as well been Hailey herself standing before him in those moments. And the smile when she touched his arm. Something going on behind those dark eyes that he wanted no part of. He frowned to himself, still hearing Hailey in the kitchen as she cleaned things up. No, that was stupid. He was only thinking this because she looked like her mother. Fucking wild she’d successfully adopted that same disinterested and cold look, but it was all just a play of his eyes. She looked like her mother, just as Alec looked a bit like him and this generally meant both kids could make expressions that mirrored their parents in some way or form. Nothing weird about it. Just threw you off because she looks like her Mum is all.

He’d had too much to drink and was tired of thinking too much. He needed to close his eyes. Just rest a bit. Forget all the weird observations and other shit plaguing his mind. He dozed, his mind too numb and soggy to really think about much beyond what he was hearing on the telly. Mostly unaware as Hailey finished up clearing the kitchen and seated herself beside him to watch some of the telly. She would sometimes randomly massage his leg, but seemed content to leave him be and allow him to rest. The noises from the telly faded into the recesses of his mind, the dull buzzing from the alcohol soothing and allowing him to fully relax. He slowly nodded off, barely hearing Hailey shut everything down and retire upstairs to their bedroom.

Pleasant thoughts and dreams, flickers of Hailey's flushed and smiling face beneath him. Flickers of images that made him smile in his sleep. Her soft touch on his neck, the warmth of her breath at his ear, the press of her hand on his chest, moving downwards. He focused on her face, seeing the half lidded eyes and ghost of a smile on her face as she moved away from his ear, down his neck. Her hand lingered at the waistband of his jeans, pausing abruptly. He made a noise, urging the dream image to continue. His hands moved towards the button and zipper of his jeans, eager to continue. Hailey's face shimmered, her brow furrowing as she moved down to his knees. “Hailey,” he breathed, unsure of whether he'd spoken aloud or not and not caring if he did. “No,” came a voice. Familiar. And very much _not_ Hailey's voice. The dream shattered around him and he was in the darkened living room, staring at a dark figure now at his knees. “ _What the fu_.....” he gasped, drawing back into the chair. The shadow climbed across him, her hand slamming against his mouth, cutting his voice short.

“Shhhhh,” Amy hissed, bending her face close to his, nuzzling his cheek. “You dun' want Mum t' come down here an' see you like this, yeah?” He stared at her with wide and confused eyes, tears now burning hot with his rising confusion. The tears spilled as he shook his head, hoping to shake her hand free, his eyes locked on the young woman who eased her body back a bit, resting now across his lap. “Mum would be devastated t' see you like this,” she whispered softly, a free hand smoothing his hair back. She was so close to his face, he could fee her lips move against his cheek as she spoke. “Rather compromisin' position we have here, dun' we? Me in your lap....you sportin' a semi. Reckon it would cause poor ol' Mum t' have a stroke.”

Murdoc made a noise against the hand, still unable to fully comprehend what was happening. This was a nightmare right? Please let him wake up. His vision blurred from the building tears, feeling the wetness spill across his cheeks. He couldn't talk his way out of this if they were caught. There was no way. He closed his eyes, sobbing silently as the hand that smoothed his hair slowly traveled down his neck, toying with the buttons of his shirt, undoing each button one by one. He could feel her shifting against his lap as the one hand worked his shirt buttons while the other glided silently around the back of his neck and shoulders. Her mouth still too fucking close for his comfort. He couldn’t move. He could speak. Voice dried up in his throat as he tried to ignore the feel of her hands on his chest. If this was a nightmare, it was time to wake up. Okay, any moment now. No, this was real. This was very fucking real and he was frozen in place and unable to move. Fearful of the noise attracting Hailey. Fearful of his inability to talk his way out of this. A low whimper erupted from him when her hand slid down lower. He silently prayed to any and all deities he could think of that his body wouldn't betray him as it did in the dream state.

“Your body dun' lie, Murdoc,” Amy whispered, her hand pressing against him and massaging the front of his jean. “You were ready for attention just a few moments 'go.”

He made a noise, narrowing his eyes at her. She slowly pulled her hand away allowing him to speak. “I thought it was your mother,” he whispered back, mentally cursing the tremble in his voice.

“Do you think she'll really believe that?” she laughed, pulling herself closer and grinding her hips against his. “Why not just close your eyes an' pretend it's her?”

“No,” he growled in a low voice, shifting his weight to sit up. “Get off me now.” He tried to sound stern, but there was still that tremble to his voice and no doubt she could hear it too. “I mean it, Amy. You need t’ get up an’ go t’ bed.”

She leaned in close, pressing her forehead against his. The hand behind his neck was now on his cheek, her mouth moving mere inches from his as she spoke. “You're scared. I can smell it. You know you won't be able t' sweet talk your way outa this should she come down here an' catch you like this.” He flinched his face away when her tongue lashed out against his cheek. She exhaled softly against his face, her voice still barely above a whisper. “Mum comes downstairs an’ it’s over for you...”

Murdoc shook his head, trying to make sense of her words. She was right. A hundred percent right. He was fucking terrified. Why else would he still be sitting there like a gobsmacked fool, whispering to her? He didn't want to make noise, didn't want to attract attention to what would be seen as a disgustingly horrible situation. He was too scared and confused to make any sense out of this. Nothing in her odd demeanor as of late would have ever led him to believe she'd be capable of this! He could feel her moving, her hand still toying with the button of his jeans. Let this be a nightmare. Some warped and fucked up nightmare brought on by too much drink. But no matter how much he tried to shut out the sensation of her rocking against him and no matter how much he tried to shut out the sound of her breathing, he couldn't. Far too aware of what was going on and who it was. And thank fucking Satan his body wasn't on fucking auto pilot. Dead at the waist. Dead within moments of realizing who was really there. “Why?” he whispered hoarsely, blinking back more tears.

“What will it take for you t' notice me an' love me?” she murmured against his cheek. The hand that toyed with the button of his jeans moved quickly, the button undone, her fingers drawing lazy circles against his stomach, daring to move lower. Fresh tears danced in Murdoc's eyes, still too stunned to react, too scared to speak any louder than a whisper. Amy dropped her gaze down the strip of exposed skin where his shirt was opened. “You dote on your Golden Boy, show Mum gobs of attention.....what 'bout me?”

“Not like this,” he whispered, swallowing hard against the lump that had formed in his throat. “Never like this.”

Something in her expression changed. A flicker of confusion before settling back into that strange cold look. She slowly leaned back into his lap, her hand still toying with the waistband of his jeans. “I see how you interact with Alec, see how you are with Mum. An' then there's me...a’ways in their shadow. Unseen.” She looked him over carefully, chewing against her lower lip. “You make Mum feel good, feel loved. Why can't you do the same for me?”

Murdoc frowned, still unsure of what to do. It took everything in his power to not abruptly shove her from his lap. He still felt fearful that too much noise would drag Hailey from bed to check downstairs and he wasn’t confident enough to talk his way out of this. Amy was completely straddled across his lap with his shirt open and his jeans undone. Hailey came downstairs at that moment and it would be the end. He’d be cast out just that quick. Hailey wouldn’t even give him time to gather belongings. Out on his arse without any way to explain what happened. He licked his dry lips, his voice cracking in the silence between them. “This is wrong an' this is not what you want. You dun' seem to comprehend just how wrong this is.”

“Since when have you cared 'bout what society saw as wrong?” she hissed as she leaned back towards him. “You've lived your whole life defyin' society's expectations an' standards. You an' Mum both!” He felt a whimper escape when she lowered her face closer, her mouth inches from his. Her mouth quirked into a cruel smile, one hand now braced to the side of his head as she inched closer, her teeth catching his upper lip gently before releasing him and sighing against his chin. He could still feel her hips twitching against his, the hand on the waistband of his jeans slipping further down. Her eyes almost gleamed in the darkness, holding him fixed in place and completely frozen. Moving away from his slack mouth, she allowed her mouth to glide across his cheek, another sigh escaping her as she slowly drew back. “You an’ Mum beat each other senseless while you two shagged like fuckin' rabbits. Tie her down an' dominate her. You bragged ‘bout takin’ on two t’ three women at a time when you were with the band, sometimes forcing them t’ do filthy thins’ t’ one another until you were ready t’ join in. You could do all of that, laughin’ at society an’ what they expect, yet you’re disgusted at the thought of me?” As if the universe had finally heard his silent prayers, Amy slowly climbed from is lap and now stood over him. “Or was all that talk ‘bout defyin’ what society saw as normal all just lip service?”

Murdoc fumbled with the button of his jeans, buttoning them as quickly as his shaking hands would allow, almost sobbing with relief that she was no longer pressed so close. He was sweating, his arm pits soaked, moisture dancing in his eyebrows and eyes. Hands shaking so fucking hard, he could barely button his jeans. “Are you forgettin' a key fact here, Amy?” he whispered harshly, now matching glares. “You're my kid. I dun' share half my genetics with your Mum, for fuck's sake. Where in your head did you even think this would be remotely alright, let 'lone believe I'd be on board with such a thin'?”

“You never let the boundaries of society stop you from doin' what you wanted,” she whispered, the edge to her voice gone. Her frustrated expression melted. She no longer appeared menacing or frightening. Drawing back, her eyes downcast, she was suddenly the little girl he remembered. Something that seemed like such a long time ago. The confusion etched in her gaunt features was almost too much, Murdoc realizing that part of this pain had to do with him. She let out a heavy sigh, her eyes surfacing and locking with his. “Why do you make me feel like I'm second best?”

Murdoc pushed himself to his feet, a dull noise coming from him as his knees protested. Age was a bitch, no doubt about it. But it took the backburner to the confusion and conflict in his own head. He brought his hand out, almost afraid to touch her, afraid that it would give her the wrong idea, afraid that it would instigate something he might not be physically strong enough to stop. “You're not second best, Amy,” he murmured, his hand at her cheek. “Reckon I dun' say it 'nough, but I do love you, just as I love your brother. It's a different kind of love with your Mum an' I think you know this.”

Amy frowned, chewing against her lower lip, something that he'd seen Hailey do countless times. And in that moment, she looked very much like Hailey. Almost her fucking twin. A shuddering sigh erupted from her as she sank against him, arms around him as she pressed her face into his shoulder. He slowly circled his arms around her, smoothing the back of her hair gently. Pressing his face into her hair, he kissed the top of her head. “It's late,” he whispered softly. “Best we go t' bed an' forget this ever happened.”

She drew back, wiping at her eyes. Giving a curt nod, she turned and moved towards the stairs, leaving him in the darkened living room. From above, he heard the click of her door and realizing he was finally alone, he huffed loudly and dropped back to the sofa, wiping the sweat off his face and staring at his shaking hands. Easy enough to agree with her that his own moral compass veered in a different direction than most of mainstream society, but she'd asked the unthinkable from him. He could brag about being a deviant until the sun set, but in no way could he ever have considered such a thing. He still couldn’t quite grasp just what had happened for her to think he would. He struggled to think back, to see if there was any defining moment with her, or even something he may have unwittingly done to give her those ideas. Nothing came to mind. Not a bloody thing. He’d despised the fact that she was growing up but this was normal. Not to mention the fact that her growing up meant he was growing fucking old. Christ, he knew something was off kilter with her, but had never considered anything like this. He hadn't even voiced his concerns to Hailey, remembering all too clearly how dismissive she'd been when Amy was small, when Amy was silent and watching. There was no way he could bring this to Hailey. No matter how stressed and confused it made him, he just couldn't mention any of this to her. Satan knows how much Amy would twist it to keep out of trouble. She was fifteen and he was sixty six. Who was the goddamned adult here?

Willing himself to his feet, he ventured up the stairs, his focus on the bedroom door at the end of the hall. From Amy's closed door, he noted the muted light of her lamp, realizing he was hearing something familiar and long buried in his memories. The warped chimes now sounding even more off than before, too many years of laying somewhere unused. And through the music, he could hear the soft sounds of her sobbing and muttering to herself. Murdoc paused just outside her door, staring at it as if he could see through it. She was confused, he reasoned. Confused and hurt over feelings she can't make any sense of. That was all it was. She never really wanted what she'd suggested. She was just confused. Maybe he could talk to her tomorrow and see if maybe arranging a therapist was in order.

Once in his bedroom, he collapsed onto his bed, barely rousing Hailey, who cracked open her eyes enough to see it was him, flash a sleepy smile and drift back off. There was a good chance she had barely realized it was him. It took him a moment to realize he was still shaking, still horrified by what had almost happened. He peered at Hailey’s passive sleeping face, reaching out a trembling hand and smoothing her greying hair from her face. Yeah, he couldn't tell her what had happened. The last thing he needed was more tension in the house. At some point, he'd have to address this whole mess. Find out what had instigated the night's events. It made him uncomfortable just thinking about it, but Amy needed help, not condemnation.


	30. Music Box, Part II – Living Dead Girl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: REFERENCED ASSAULT, NON CON, MURDER

The beeping of the machines were the only sounds around him as he stared at the lifeless form laying in the hospital cot. Alive, but now relying on the machines to make sure his body did what it must. After a massive and abrupt grand mal seizure, the young man now lay in a coma with the doctors unable to revive him. Had it not been for the rise and fall of Alec’s chest, Murdoc would have assumed the boy dead. He had certainly thought so when he'd come downstairs to check on the lad. Murdoc frowned in the dimly lit hospital room, unseen by Hailey, who was sitting beside the cot, holding Alec's limp hand. He didn't want to think about what he'd seen, where his mind went when he saw Alec laying too still on the sofa, foamy vomit staining his slack lips and Amy standing several feet away, the look of panic on her face telling him that she'd been caught at something. He didn't ask for explanations, didn't want explanations. His focus had been on Alec. Thank the gods that Hailey's pain medications knocked her out because once Murdoc had realized the lad was unresponsive and shown evidence of some kind of struggle, he had turned his attention then to the seventeen year old, the tears choking his voice when he'd demanded to know what had happened. His voice had risen, accusing her of horrible things with her sobbing and pleading with him, insisting that nothing of the sort had taken place. She'd just come down to check on him, she insisted. Come down to _check on him_? He had bruises on his wrists and his face. He had defensive marks on his fucking hands. _Check on him?_ Only checking on him? Did she take Murdoc for a fucking fool?

“Liar,” he mumbled under his breath, scrubbing his hands across his unshaven face, dark eyes still on the young man who lay motionless on the hospital cot. She'd approached Murdoc barely two years ago, wanting something that crossed lines not meant to be crossed. Of course he'd rejected her advances and in doing so, seemed to have wounded her further. In rejecting her, something else had awakened. Something dark. Something almost predatory. He just didn't know how to handle such a thing. Nothing in the parenting handbooks prepared him for that. In the wake of the rejection, she became something else, something to be cautious and wary of. She acknowledged him, spoke to him, helped him when he needed it for something and Alec wasn't available, but he could see something there in the ways she'd watch him, a something that gave internal warnings to avoid being alone with her unless he absolutely couldn't help it. Outside of a few occasions here or there, he'd been successful at this. While nowhere near as bold as that first time, it was obvious she wasn't taking no for an answer and had cornered him a few times when he least expected it. He picked up her intentions quickly, maybe more in tune to it now that he was more aware, and always managed to escape their isolation to somewhere else in the house where Hailey was close by. Amy never dared when Hailey was near by. He'd tried like hell to make Amy see reason, but attempting to discuss it with her had been futile. Suggestions of therapy fell on deaf ears. Even if he managed to arrange something, she made it clear she would refuse to go. Unable to reason with her, he had given up on that and figured his best course of action was to simply avoid being alone with her.

Here they were, two years later since that first horrible moment, and Alec now lay in a coma. He’d had grand mals in the past but this one seemed to be the one to top them all. Even after the bad ones, he’d usually come around within a few hours. Maybe a little incoherent and confused, but he would wake up. Not this time. He’d even flatlined on the way to hospital. He had almost fucking died. How the fuck does a seizure do that when he’d been suffering from the blasted things for nearly twenty years? Why now? The doctor said that the seizure might have been triggered by stress, but with the lad not awake and speaking, it was difficult to tell. Stress. Something had happened and it had caused Alec so much distress that it triggered this massive grand mal and had incapacitated him completely. Something had happened. Something he had not been witness to but could feel it in the air.

Murdoc bit his lower lip, trying in vain to shake away the memories of earlier. The atmosphere of the living room even screamed that something else had happened, something that Alec couldn't reveal and Amy wouldn't. Murdoc wasn't stupid. Old and a bit slower physically, perhaps, but hardly a dunce in any way. Already scanning over Amy, taking in her wide-eyed and terrified expression with the blooming bruise just beneath her eye, then to the lifeless Alec, who bore defensive marks on his hands, marks that the doctor said might have been from the seizure. Though Murdoc suspected otherwise, in order to spare Hailey's sanity over a situation that he'd successfully kept hidden from her, he'd agreed with the doctor's suggestion. The boy's hands were bruised, the knuckles on his left hand seemingly worse, marks on his wrists that appeared to have been from someone attempting to hold his hands back. He’d been attacked. He’d been unable to fight back.

Getting to his feet, Murdoc muttered something about going outside for a cigarette. Hailey nodded, her focus still on Alec. Murdoc slipped out of the dimly lit and sterile room, walking slowly towards the lift. He couldn't even say how he found his way outside, but he was there and lighting a cigarette. The cool air felt good against his skin and he let out a shuddering sigh, feeling the tightness in his throat and burning sensation behind his eyes that told him the emotions were about to slam into him ten fold. He'd bitten off more than he can chew here. He had to tell someone, right? Amy had become dangerous. It was all too apparent now. He wasn't sure how far she'd gotten with Alec, but given the injuries, the boy had fought back. Murdoc gritted his teeth against the flash of anger, anger that burned within his gut when he realized that Amy most likely targeted Alec because she saw him as too weak to fight back. The girl was coherent enough to understand that Alec would want no part of it, yet was determined to get her way, even if by force.

He'd been too overwhelmed with what he'd almost stumbled upon to think rationally in those moments he’d entered the lounge. Though Amy had insisted it wasn't at all what it looked like, Murdoc didn't give a damn. There’d been more than enough evidence in his eyes to tell him that something had indeed happened and her poor attempts to claim otherwise did nothing to sway him. There was only so much he could take and he'd finally reached his peak. He’d physically dragged her to the front door, flinging her out into the darkness and slamming it shut. Part of him cursed his impulsive move to cast her out, but at that point the only thing that mattered was removing the danger from the house and then calling for help. Though Alec had been breathing, it was erratic and every time it seemed like he was struggling to breath, Murdoc had felt spikes of panic as he dialed the emergency number. The rise and fall of his chest wasn't consistent, the color to the boy's face seemingly off. Trying desperately to speak with the operator on the other end and praying to the universe they couldn’t hear the sounds of Amy’s sobs or the fists that beat against the door as she begged him to let her back inside. Within moments, she'd gone silent and he'd caught a brief glimpse of her leaving in her car. From there, his focus had been solely on getting Alec help. Get help and get help fast. He'd examined the young man over thoroughly while on the phone with emergency services, checking his clothes, groaning with relief to see that his jeans were still fastened and intact. At least he’d have his dignity when they arrived.

Happy fucking birthday, old man, he thought dismally, exhaling smoke into the darkness. You got cake, gifts, time with family and have finally realized your daughter is a sexual predator. He couldn't shake the anger. Alec had been in no position to defend himself and she knew that! Murdoc took a drag from the cigarette, gritting his teeth. All he could see was Alec's terrified face in his mind. Most likely too stunned to react properly. So distressed by what was happening that it had triggered such a massive and debilitating seizure, it had nearly done him in. What had amazed him was realizing that Alec had still fought back the best he could. The bruises and cuts on his hand, the bruise on Amy’s face, all proof that Alec hadn’t gone down without a fight. But it still didn't sooth the rage that was burning hotter and hotter. She would have been no match for Alec had he not been disabled, but the fact remained that he was disabled and mostly physically incapable of fighting her off. His saving grace had been that seizure and Amy hearing Murdoc upstairs. Fucking hell, what if nobody else had been home? What if Murdoc hadn’t gone downstairs to check on Alec when he’d heard the noises? Was it some cosmic timing? The universe working in some fashion to ensure Alec was spared that kind of shame and violation?

Amazingly, Hailey never questioned Amy's absence, believing Murdoc's half arsed lie he’d made up on the spot about some kind of row with Alec and her leaving. He’d roused her from bed just as the medics had arrived. Still sluggish and groggy even as the medics had worked to get the still unconscious Alec onto the gurney so they could rush him to hospital. Given how the night had gone, he actually considered nicking one of those bad boys from her once they got back home. He just needed something to knock him out. He was exhausted but unable to sleep. The doctors had done all they could for Alec and now it was simply the waiting game. It could be days, weeks or even months before he opened his eyes. And there was the even the possibility they'd be looking at years. Could they keep him hooked up to those machines and alive for years and years? There was hope he'd open his eyes, but what if it was false hope? What if this was his fate until his end? Murdoc shook his head violently, a low noise coming from him. If Amy dared to show her face there, he'd most likely snap. He loved her, wanted to know the what and why behind this, but also felt a seething repulsion. Christ, can you feel repulsed by your own child? Did that make him a horrible parent? He didn't know what to do about her. He'd tried to convince himself that she was confused and unsure of what she wanted, but it was all too obvious now that was not the case. She was calculating and she was dangerous. What was he supposed to do about her now? Should he call the police and have her picked up? Christ, he was just too frazzled to think straight right now.

“Got a spare? I left mine at home.” The sound of Hailey’s voice from the darkness caught him by surprise and he nearly jumped at the sound. She sounded as exhausted and as drained as he did. He turned towards the direction her voice came from, spotting her as she stepped out of the darkness, her own aged and gaunt face lost in the ugly shadows from the light overhead. Nodding his head, he handed her a cigarette, watching as she lit it with trembling hands. Sighing heavily, she gestured at the massive building. “Doctor said there isn't much that can be done at this point and we should go home. If anything changes, he'll call us.” He merely nodded and uttered a grunt of acknowledgment. He knew he looked distracted and when he looked up at her, he could see her own weariness and exhaustion reflected back. “Alec is a lot stronger than we have ever given him credit for, Murdoc,” she said softly, reaching out and grazing the back of his neck. “He'll pull through this.”

The sensation of her fingers at the nape of his neck sent off a million alarms in his head, his body struggling with the urge to pull away from her. The same touch, the same sensation. Even the expression on her face. Slammed unwillingly back to that horrifying moment two years ago when he’d been accosted by Amy on the sofa. He remained frozen in place, wanting to move away but recognizing that he had no reason to. Choking back a groan, he forced a smile. He was struggling with too much shit going on at once. This was Hailey, the woman he'd willingly devoted over twenty years of his life to. His Hailey. Once again there for him in a time when he needed it. And though he couldn't even begin to tell her half his troubles, her presence alone calmed his aching psyche and troubled thoughts. Still smiling, he touched her cheek, feeling her head tilt into the touch. “Guess we go home then,” he muttered, flicking the cigarette away. “Come back tomorrow an' see if an'thin' changed.”

*********************************

High above her, the moon was full and bright, casting the clearing in an eerie whitish glow. Amy stared up at the clear and star filled sky, lighting a cigarette and leaning back against a tree. She was tired, wanting only to take care of the business ahead and go home to her soft bed and crash as hard as she could. Her mind traveled back to earlier in the evening, when she'd been laughing and enjoying the company of the woman who was more than willing to take Amy home with her after a few rounds at the local pub. Amy felt the tremors pass through when her mind carried her through the evening's events. Their playful and heated tangle on the woman's bed had taken the all too familiar turn and her lust was fueled further by the woman's tears and pleas to be released. Amy was short and small framed, but looks were deceiving and the woman had discovered quickly that Amy was a lot stronger than she anticipated. Amy sought domination. She sought pain.

The woman's name had been Tabitha and she had been a waitress at the little diner down the road from the pub they'd met at. Still in her greasy little uniform with her name tag. Eager to shed away her late shift and toss a few back with the peculiar young woman who eyed her like prey, completely unaware of the danger she'd so willingly put herself in. Sweet and soft Tabitha with her thick blond hair, captivating smile and kind blue eyes. Sweet Tabitha whose mouth tasted of peppermint. Only had been with a woman once before, during her awkward experimentation years in University. Though Amy was several years younger than Tabitha, at twenty years old, she was a pro at the game. Whispering softly in Tabitha's ear all the things she wanted to do while her hand crept casually beneath the hem of Tabitha's uniform skirt, taking in the scent of the woman and her rising arousal. A quick flick of her long tongue had sealed the deal and Tabitha had become putty in her hands.

Back at Tabitha’s squalid little flat, the woman had thoroughly enjoyed all Amy could do. Gasping for more and more as Amy worked her higher. Her fingers and tongue bringing wave after wave of pleasure for the naïve Tabitha. All those good feelings came crashing to a halt when Amy buried her face into the woman's neck, her teeth bringing more pain than pleasure and when she began to struggle against the woman who now held her down, it instigated Amy further, her bites more painful, nails digging down too deep, the grip she had on Tabitha's wrists now tight and unrelenting. Tabitha's screams muffled by the tape that Amy had slapped over her mouth, laughing at her pain and struggles. It all had ended far too soon for Amy, though. Her drive to dominate and hurt finally breaking Tabitha, the woman sobbing silently against her gag as she shut down, going limp. This had enraged Amy, wanting the struggle and wanting Tabitha to fight back. Don’t just lay there! Resist! Frustrated at her weakness, Amy had lashed out, grabbing the lamp that sat on Tabitha’s night stand and bashing it over Tabitha's head in a rage. It was over, just like that, Amy naked and straddling a dead woman who was equally as naked. The blood starting to pool on the pillows from the cracked open skull. The weak willed bitch. Why couldn't she fight back more? Why couldn't she find the will to resist?

Frowning in the dimly lit clearing, Amy extinguished her half smoked cigarette and stared down at the body of the woman. Tabitha hadn't been a first. There'd been a few others over the last few years. The first woman had been an act of utter rage and despair, still reeling from being cast out of her home after what had happened with her brother. Her father had seen through her lies, thinking nothing of kicking her out into the darkness with only the clothes on her back. How fucking callous could the man be? She'd loved him more than words could convey, had tried countless times to show that love, only to have him rebuff her attempts and treat her like something to be repulsed by and ashamed of. Wasn't she beautiful enough? Smart enough? Though she knew that society frowned on such a show of love, since when did what society say matter? They lived on the fringes of what was socially acceptable, always had. She'd seen the way he loved her mother, those moments in the privacy of their bedroom when both were sure the kids were asleep. The unknown witness to their most private displays, seeing how her mother had adored it all, that odd and peculiar mix of both softness and dominance that only he seemed capable of showing. She’d wanted that also. Craved it. But he refused her, rebuffed her, ostracized her. Made her feel dirty for it.

Deep down, she acknowledged a specific event that led to her observations of how he was. And while she couldn't make much sense of her earlier memories, as she got older she became more keenly aware of his overall presence. She was also aware enough to know not to get caught or say anything aloud. She understood that most would not be so accepting of discovering this about her so she watched in silence, catching him during his most private moments, fascinated with everything about him. The more she watched, the more fascinated she became. And when she finally couldn't take it anymore, she'd approached him, hoping that perhaps he would reciprocate. There’d been no reciprocation of feelings. All she’d seen on his face was shock, confusion and repulsion. And afterwards, she saw nothing but horror and disgust whenever he laid eyes upon her. He’d insisted that he loved her, but could not love her the way she wanted and this was almost too hard to accept. And it had angered her when he started making obvious efforts to avoid being alone with her. It was like he couldn’t stand to be near her. There’d been a few more attempts through the years, little more than small and simple gestures, but he’d picked up on her intentions immediately and always kept her at arm’s length. Why couldn't he understand that he and Alec were the only men she could love and trust? She preferred women, yes, but she'd been with a few men. Fly by night shags that gave her no real satisfaction, unable to provide the masculinity and dominance she'd craved. The kind of masculinity and dominance her father had.

Alec had been a target of convenience, nothing more. She'd reasoned that physically, he'd be a half arsed decent stand in. Her own drive clouding her judgment on the situation, finding herself very much in her father's place, struggling to dominate and overpower the weak and crippled Alec and realizing that she was buzzing from the excitement of it all, being able to overpower him so easily. She'd never gotten far, only far enough to hold his trembling hands back after he'd lashed out in surprise and brought down a blow to her face, his struggles fueling her need to dominate him. She'd been blind to the fear and rage in his face, thoroughly caught off guard and confused by her sudden attack, her one hand attempting to reach for his jeans when everything suddenly spiraled out of control and she felt his arms tense and the muscles in his neck and face go taut. When she'd seen his eyes roll back, the whites glistening in the dull light of the lamp, she'd panicked, backing away from him and knocking into a table hard enough to topple a large candle. All she could do was watch helplessly as he convulsed violently on the sofa for what seemed to be an eternity before uttering a noise as foamy vomit bubbled at his lips, his back arching beyond what she thought capable before slamming him back down, going completely limp into the sofa, the final sound being a wet and rattled sigh. And it had been then that she’d heard Murdoc upstairs, most likely alerted from the falling candle.

Amy tried to shake away the memory of those moments, feeling her anger rise. Dad coming downstairs to see her panicked look and Alec unconscious, his accusations feeling like knives, his insults cutting her to her core. Never mind Murdoc’s age and physical health, one of those knuckly hands had locked onto the back of her neck and forced her towards the door with a strength that she both admired and feared. Never before had she ever seen him so furious. Never before had he used such a level of force on her, wrenching the back of her neck as he ripped open the front door and shoved her through. Out into the night, the door slamming shut in her face, the lock clicking over tight.

Amy understood that she was different. She couldn't really place when she'd realized this, but she knew all the same. That first victim in the wake of her attack on Alec had brought back memories of another time and another place, when she'd first felt that release. Wendy Krump had deserved her grisly fate, the teenager the ring-leader of a group of girls who had bullied Alec relentlessly while he'd been in secondary school. Though Wendy had been for different reasons, the overall affect of her actions had been the same. Her first real taste of release. That night she'd been cast out of her home, her target had been chosen merely so she could unleash her agony, confusion and rage at being shunned by the one person she loved above all. His actions had proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that he'd favored Alec above her and would never love her the way she wanted. Unable to process this, she picked her victim at random, allowed them to take her to their home and there she'd ravaged the woman, violating her every way she could. Her focus had been to let the rage run and dominate the woman. When all was said and done, she'd stood there, bloodied and panting with a dead woman at her feet. Cleaning herself and the flat furiously, she'd fled the scene as soon as she'd felt it was well enough in order that no trace of her was left behind. She'd had enough run in's with the law to know that if she'd even so much as left a fingerprint, her name and face would pop up on the police radar.

She'd lived on the streets for a period of time before finally gaining the disgusting little flat she now lived in. Originally offered from her employer, a swine of a man who begrudgingly offered her a job as a dishwasher. In exchange for the job and flat, Amy had shown him just how lovely her abnormally long tongue could be, the same tongue that had made numerous women squirm and scream. Her monthly payment being a few hundred pounds and her body at least once or twice a month. And on the occasion she brought a woman home, sometimes he watched. Those women were the lucky ones, really. Brought home as nothing more than playthings she could use while that swine landlord stroked himself off in the corner. These moments didn’t bring the release she had wanted, but it had kept a roof over her head.

She wanted to feel that release again, feel that power she had over another. Capture those moments again and again just like that first time. And then she'd found the perfect victim, a homeless youth who couldn’t have been more than her age, maybe even younger. Eagerly accepting of Amy’s offers of food, warmth and a soft bed, happy to oblige Amy's terms of repayment. Her restraint had only lasted long enough to get the girl naked on her bed. In the midst of the girl's sobs and struggles, Amy suddenly found herself lost in long ago buried memories. Images replaying in her mind some blurred moment in time that both captivated her and frightened her. Though she remembered so little, the one thing that stood out in her subconscious was pain, dominance and blood. The homeless girl was no match against the stronger and more experienced Amy, but she'd struggled to the end, giving Amy everything she’d hoped for – resistance as Amy fought to dominate her. The girl’s will and life force finally gone when Amy had used her teeth to tear into the young woman's throat, almost moaning against the hot blood that gushed from the wound into her face.

The end result had been disastrous. The girl’s screams had attracted notice, some neighbors in the hall outside her flat, wondering where the screams had come from. And here Amy was with a dead girl on her bed and the both of them covered in blood. When the tunnel vision and lust receded, she realized quickly that maybe bringing the girl back to her home had not been a wise choice. She hadn't prepared enough, simply seeking her prey and going from there. She was trapped and she had no way out of it. In her rising panic that she'd picked up her cell phone and called the only person she could think of, the one man she knew who could help her, the one person she hadn't spoken to in over a year. When his gruff and sleepy sounding voice came on the other end, she's uttered only a few words: “Daddy...I need help.”

Whatever anger or loathing he still possibly harbored towards her was gone, the relief in hearing her voice screamingly obvious in his own tone as he questioned her well being and where-abouts. Murdoc had wasted no time arriving at her place. It had been he who smoothed over the scared and suspicious neighbors, he who had suggested she go to the store and fetch the proper cleaners and he who hauled the girl's body into the washroom as they prepared for its disposal. It was clear he was shaken and scared over what he'd discovered, but that had all become secondary to helping Amy hide her gruesome crime. After disposing of the corpse, the two of them stood in the outskirts of the city smoking cigarettes. She'd reached out to touch him, simply show a brief gesture of appreciation that he'd put aside his anger to help her. He pulled her close, holding her tight, pressing his face into her hair. Amy almost sobbed aloud at the contact, something she missed and craved for far too long.

A cool breeze whipped through the clearing, bringing Amy's attention back to the body of Tabitha, who lay at an odd angle in the dirt. Her Dad had helped her with the others too. Not always physically present, sometimes on the phone walking her through the steps necessary. Shortly after the incident with the homeless girl, she'd been welcomed back to the family home. But there'd been one stipulation: stay away from Alec unless accompanied by him or Hailey. Her visits with Alec in the hospital had been strictly supervised by her father or mother. Murdoc had made it clear that he had little trust in her or her motives, but also admitted that he and Hailey had both been worried sick about her for the year or so there'd been no contact. As far as her Mum had been concerned, Amy had left the home after a massive row with Alec and some partial lie about how she'd feared his seizure would be blamed on their heated argument. A half truth, but a poorly put together one that her mother accepted without question. Regardless, Amy was glad to be home, finding herself an aunt to a six month old Ben, Alec's son. Alec had lapsed into a coma without ever knowing that his long term partner, Nina, was pregnant. She’d come home to many changes in the house but had welcomed these changes because they provided decent enough distractions. She adored Ben and enjoyed Nina’s company. Being able to move back into the home and leave that decrepit flat behind was like a new lease on life.

Looking over the body, Amy reached into the worn back pack, grabbing the small canister of gasoline. She'd need to hurry and get this dealt with before she ran out of time. Getting Tabitha’s body out of the woman’s flat had been a careful game of hide and seek thanks to a pair of chavs who had been lingering on the stoop outside. Bundling the body enough so it didn’t look like a body, hoping that she wasn’t dripping blood everywhere and then shoving the blasted corpse into the boot of her car. Then there was driving outside the city limits to the woods, hoping none of the local coppers caught sight of her and pulled her over for shits and giggles. She was a known face on their radar thanks to her pettier run-ins as a teen and wasn’t in the mood for a random stop and search. Didn’t take long to find an area in the woods and a ravine she could dump the corpse in. She uncapped the petrol and started dousing it over the woman’s body. After covering it as thoroughly as she could, she lit a match and allowed the whole matchbook to flare up before tossing it onto the body, watching only with a mild curiosity as the flames erupted in a roar, the woman's skin blistering and blackening, her hair disappearing. So long, Tabitha, she thought with a shrug, turning to make her way back to her car. From her jacket, the phone rang, the familiar ringtone telling her who it was. Putting the phone to her ear, she smiled at the darkness, leaning against the car. “No worries, got it under control this time, Dad.”

*************************

Oh, she was feisty tonight. Murdoc cracked a sloppy smile as Hailey climbed over him, the pressure of her body against his sending his mind into overdrive. He lay against the bed, smiling up at her and seeing the all too familiar mischievous smile on her face told him good things were in store for him. She worked against him slowly, each movement making him groan aloud, cursing the fact that their sleep clothes were all that separated them at those moments. “Christ, woman,” he breathed. “I wanna fuck you so bad.” His words brought soft laughter from her as she bent down, her mouth against his. Rolling her gently, he moved so he was over her, burying his face into her neck, feeling her hands fumbling frantically at his pajama pants. Once free of the loose cotton pants, he paused long enough for her to squirm out of her own sleep clothes and then dived back down, hard and eager for what was to come. Riding her as hard as he could, he pushed himself up seeing her face twist and contort in her own passion, feeling the bite of her nail as she gripped his back for purchase, drawing him closer to her. He could feel the moment, mentally cursing his luck that it was coming so quick. But she was already hitting her peak, her moans music to his ears as he drove into her as hard as he could, their movements becoming more frantic and heated. He was right at the edge, bracing himself for that moment went everything would fade away into good feelings and oblivion. His eyes fell back to the woman writhing beneath him, something in her face making him take pause. Though Hailey had aged, it was her expression that held him fast, libido destroyed. For a brief moment, he was almost certain he'd seen Amy. He didn’t know why he saw Amy, but that was what he saw. He let out a huff, hoping to pull a fast one, hoping she believed he'd reached that high point. He waited a long moment, feeling her hands in his hair and on his back, thanking the universe that she hadn't caught on to the interruption that had killed everything.

Drawing back, he toyed with her body a bit, trying to shake away the disturbing image. Her breasts had become a pleasant distraction, but after taking a few moments to catch her breath, Hailey declared it was time to get dressed and go downstairs. Murdoc dropped back onto the bed, watching her as she dressed herself. He was still unsure and confused by his daughter. And just like those moments he'd seen Hailey in Amy, some of Hailey's expressions might as well been Amy. And that had been the kill point for him. Instead of seeing his fucking wife, he saw his daughter in that moment. How fucked up was that? But it was difficult to deny that Amy scared him. She actually terrified him. Though she'd behaved herself to some extent after being accepted back into the family fold, he kept her at arms length, unwilling to allow her any closer out of fear that she'd take his affection out of context. It was clear that whatever bizarre affection she held for him was still there, even if she kept it in check. And while she still denied any wrong-doing on the part of Alec, he just plain didn't believe it and wasn't about to chance her being alone with her older brother, who was back in the home now, recovering slowly after waking from the five year coma, the coma Murdoc was almost dead certain Amy had caused. He’d gone to bed some nights terrified she’d try again with Alec, knowing he was still struggling to recuperate and – just like before – an easy target.

Laying in bed, Murdoc dozed a bit, but never really allowing himself to fully drift off. He'd become a helluva light sleeper as of late. Rather hard not to be when you had something like Amy in the house. Reason said the best option was to have her removed from the equation. Kick her back out again. She was twenty three years old and more than capable of being an adult and living on her own. Having her back in the house had worked for the time being, but with her strange demeanor and predatory glances, he had no choice but to admit he no longer felt safe. She refrained from further attempts to approach him, but that had mostly to do with the fact that he made sure he was never alone with her. What if she tried with Alec again? What was he supposed to do with her? Why was he bearing the brunt of this burden? It had become a carefully put together front when it came to Amy. Hailey was completely unaware and Alec, thank the gods, couldn't remember much of anything. Amy herself gave no obvious notion that these things were on her mind again, but he could see the way she looked at him. See the way she observed the house around her. All he could do was be proactive about it all. Make sure she was never alone with Alec or him, for that matter.

Absently, he adjusted himself, cursing under his breath. He'd been right there, too. But as soon as his mind had made the connections, he'd gone limp as a flat fucking tire almost instantly. His greatest fear was during his dreams, when he was completely helpless and unaware of his surroundings. Wanting only to revel in the good feelings the dreams brought. Sometimes Hailey, sometimes other women whose names had eluded him long ago. Waking up hard or half hard with evidence that the dreams had been definite good ones. Not a first time he'd awaken to find his pajama pants damp, but lately whenever he woke to such a thing, he felt cold fear, his stomach twisting and threatening to give up whatever he'd eaten or drank the night before. He didn’t think she would be so bold with Hailey asleep beside him, but considering the girl's evening hobby, who fucking knew anymore?

How did it all end up like this? On his guard constantly to keep Amy from making further attempts, yet dropping everything to help her when her evening didn’t go quite as planned. Seeing the bodies and the look of horror permanently etched on their faces was sometimes too much. Those moments alone had rocked him to his core, seeing in vivid detail the level of hell Amy unleashed onto these women. Young and old alike, women who had been tempted by promises of good feelings, ignoring that strange predatory gleam in her eyes. She’d had the advantage because most women were on high alert from strange men. They thought nothing of the five-foot-two woman with the slim build. Too trusting. Wanting to experiment and see if she was as skilled with her tongue as she claimed. He shuddered against the bed, uttering a small groan. He’d unwittingly unleashed this monster onto the world. And he was so tangled up in keeping shit under wraps that he managed to become an unwilling accomplice. Okay, maybe not completely unwilling. He had his reasons for helping her. Personal reasons no one else could possibly understand. Not just the fact that outing her would out him and Satan knows what other skeletons lay in the Niccals family closet.

At some point, Hailey's voice carried from down stairs. Something about breakfast and fresh coffee. This would also mean listening to Alec and Nina bicker through their meal again, right? Well, that was certainly more entertaining than watching Amy like a fucking hawk, right? It would be a very welcome distraction. He rolled off the bed, snatching at his pajama pants, dancing a bit as he hopped towards the doorway. Just try not to think about it all for once. Enjoy the day, enjoy his kids, enjoy the grandson, and maybe later he and Hailey could finish their morning romp properly.

The morning chaos was in full swing when he reached downstairs. Even before he reached the kitchen, he could feel the rising tension between Alec and Nina growing. It pained Murdoc to think that the changes in Alec could lead to them parting ways, but such was life. He'd awoken a different man, now unwilling to accept his failing body and suddenly with a drive no one had anticipated. This wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Murdoc was proud of him for that. Why couldn't Nina understand what this meant to Alec and to them? He'd spent nearly his whole life struggling with a body that betrayed him constantly and now he was determined to overcome it all. It stemmed from some weird dream state he'd been living while in the coma, but determination was determination. Who was he to knock motivation when it hit? Whatever the driving force was, Murdoc was glad to see it. Sure, the kid got lippy as fuck and beyond fucking moody most of the time, but it would be worth it all in the end, right? It was still early, the lad only home a week or so. Nina needed to accept that this was how Alec was going to be and that was that. Shouldn’t she be happy he was trying so hard now?

Eventually, he found himself poking around in the study, strumming on one of the guitars he'd been working on repairing. He could always purchase a new one, but he found repairing them almost therapeutic. He could simply focus on what he was doing and tune everything else out. From outside the study came the sound of slamming doors and raised voices, both Alec and Nina at it again. His eyes surfaced from the glossy green bass, staring at his closed door as the noises on the other side faded out. Welcoming the silence, he went back to working on the bass, only stopping to rummage through a drawer and pull out some new wire strings and then another drawer to retrieve the polish he used. Blessed silence. This was nice. Just focus on what he was doing and tune everything else out. He began to hum to himself as he grabbed the tools needed, measuring out the length of string.

“Dad?” It was Amy's voice on the other side of the door. Murdoc froze, staring at the closed door with narrowing eyes, unwilling to invite her in. The lack of noise in the house told him that everyone was out doing whatever. He knew Hailey was outside fighting with her dirt patch, hearing her curse at it a few times from out the window and both Alec and Nina had departed separately to do Satan knows what. “Dad, can I come in?”

“Eugh....whatever,” he grunted, returning his attention to the guitar. “Door's open.”

Amy slipped in silently, closing the door behind her. Murdoc bit his lip, almost requesting that the door stay open. While he didn't want any opportunity available for her to get him alone, he struggled how he wanted to handle the situation. This was his daughter, his flesh and blood. But he couldn’t get past what she implied that she wanted or the things she was doing when not in the house. Christ, how was he any fucking different? How about Hailey? They had done the exact same thing as her, had they not? Their reasons were different though. Vastly different. They’d done what they’d done to protect their family. Amy was doing it because she liked it and got off on it. Yet so had he and Hailey when you got right down to it.

“What're you doin'?” she asked, leaning against the closed door.

“Workin' on this, what does it look like?” he answered gruffly, not looking up from the bass. “I'm retired. I'm old. An' bored as hell most days. This keeps me from losin' m’ bloody mind.”

Amy let out a small laugh at his half-hearted joke. “Ever'one needs a hobby.”

“Well, I dun' much have the stomach for your kind of hobbies, girl,” he muttered, standing the bass up to examine the newly installed string. “Never did....”

“Then why help me?” she asked with raised eyebrows.

Setting the bass back down onto the desk, Murdoc looked up at her, his eyes narrowing behind his glasses. “Why do I do what I do for ever'one else, Amy? Why do I put up with Alec's lip? Why do I humor your Mum’s more erratic moments? I love you. I dun' want t' see you get hurt. I've spent most of me life coverin' up for ever'one else, even my own Dad an’ brother. It's just second nature, I reckon.”

Amy smirked, folding her arms across her chest. “Tryin' so hard t' be dad of the year t' one hell of a fucked up family? Face it, Murdoc, you failed miserably at that. Your pride an' joy is a fuckin' cripple an' you act like I dun' fuckin' exist. An' we can't even touch on the lil' wifey.”

“Dun' you dare lecture me 'bout family values, girl,” he snarled, getting to his feet. Her smirk melted when he rounded the desk, now standing directly in front of her. “I bend over backwards for you t' show you that I care. You are not second rate, second best or whatever the bloody hell you think yourself t' be. I wouldn't help you if I didn't care!”

“You dun' care 'nough, old man,” she hissed, glaring up at him. “All I ever asked was for you t' fuckin' notice me. Quit actin’ like I dun’ exist most of the fuckin’ time. I thought maybe thins' woulda changed when you allowed me back, but it didn't take long for you t' go back t' ignorin' me an' dotin' over your fuckin' Golden Boy an' now Golden Boy Junior!”

Murdoc clenched his fists and took a breath. Don’t let her words get to you. She’s doing it to try to trigger a reaction. Any attention is good attention. Christ, though, she couldn’t really be that desperate for attention, could she? So had everything he’d done for her been in vain? She wanted a specific kind of attention or it didn’t count. Sighing, he turned back towards the desk and grabbed the green bass. He could feel her stare on his back as he set it into its stand. “I've fuckin' cut up bodies for you, Amy. I've helped you clean 'way evidence. If I truly didn't give a damn 'bout you, I'd have left you t' it an' allowed you t' get caught!” He slowly turned to face her, taking in her flat expression. “Let’s not forget you’ve admitted t’ wantin’ somethin’ you cannot have an’ I cannot give.”

“Is it really so bad?” she retorted, peering up at him with that same stone cold and flat expression. “We've been over this before, have we not? Society's boundaries mean nothin' t' us. We're above it all. You’re lord an’ ruler in this house...an’ I want that. I want what you give.”

Murdoc's frown melted as the familiar pit of anxiety opened up in his stomach. He couldn’t get into this again. Not now. He’d made himself more than clear about it when she’d first approached him and even now. He thought he’d had it under control. Thought himself safe. He should’ve known that being trapped in a room alone was a mistake. “Go find it elsewhere, Amy,” he said through a sigh. “I've made myself more than clear on this matter. There is only so much I can do for you an' honestly, you've pushed me t' my limit.”

He moved towards her, grabbing her arms to get her out of his way. He needed air. He needed to get out of the narrow little study and as far away from her as possible. When she moved forward, she moved too quickly for him to react, hearing a strange sound escape from her. She was against him, sending him tumbling back into the wall, her mouth planted firmly against his. Too many alarms were going off in his head, his heart pounding hard in his chest, feeling an arm snake around his shoulders, the other dropping downwards and toying with the button of his jeans. Pinned against the wall, he struggled to push her back, to pry her loose, both amazed and terrified at how strong she was. When she shoved her hand into his jeans, he let out a sputtered noise of surprise against her mouth, still struggling and fumbling in an effort to push against her as hard as he could. Terror filled him when he realized he was unable to push her away, fight or flight reflex rearing its head as he struggled to get out from between her and the wall. He could even feel her tongue against his mouth, his stomach recoiling and his brain buzzing as it tried to determine what he should do. Her hand was on him as her tongue tried to force his mouth open.

A loud noise from outside made her pause, the hand in his jeans no longer moving frantically. Thank the universe! With this pause came the moment he needed, managing to get both hands planted into her shoulders, shoving her backwards and watching as she stumbled back to the floor. He wiped furiously at his mouth, gasping and coughing as he moved to put distance between them. “Get out!” he snapped furiously, still wiping at his mouth. “Get outa my fuckin' sight!”

Amy got to her feet, straightening her clothes, her expression dark. “I have some business t’ attend t’ later this evening. I’ll need your help with it.”

Murdoc shook his head, keeping the desk between them. “You can do it yourself. I’m done. I can’t do this an’more.”

“What happened t’ helpin’ me b’cause you love me?” she asked innocently with raised eyebrows. “You said it yourself, Murdoc...coverin’ for ever’one is just second nature.” The strangely innocent expression melted back to a dark frown, her voice flat. “Unless you want me t’ get caught or want Mum t’ know what’s been goin’ on?”

Murdoc blinked, feeling his hackles rise at the implied threat. Was she seriously threatening to throw them all under the bus unless he helped her? Fuck, he’d gotten in over his head with this. Maybe he should have told Hailey what had happened so many years back. Whatever Amy had become, he could no longer control it. She knew her power and was willing to use it to get her way. Sighing, he dropped back into his chair, covering his face with his hands. “I’m too old t’ do this an’more...”

Amy, still lingering at the door, merely flashed a cruel smile. “Tell Mum whatever you need t’....just be ready for my call.”

****************************

Leaning against the car, Murdoc lit a cigarette, looking around the decrepit little trailer park. He was actually amazed that such a thing existed in this country, only seeing a small few as a child. They seemed more common in America, remembering the dozens that had passed by the tour bus window as he and the band had traveled during their touring years. And the ones he'd seen had all been in various states of upkeep. Some had been disgusting little lots best fitting in a wreckage yard of some kind while others seemed to be as well kept as the major gated communities that were also scattered through out the country. The one he stood in was somewhere in between, some of the homes in decay while others were well maintained and stuck out against their forlorn looking neighbors.

He glanced over his shoulder at the fifth wheel, a massive home on wheels. One of those dated silver things that had some kind of cult following. What were they called? Silver Twinkies? His curiosity stopped at the outside. He had no desire to go inside and see what was taking place. Though he'd made it clear he had no desire to help her, the threat she tossed out hung in the air the entire day until that call came in. He’d moved on auto pilot to the car, giving some vague excuse to Hailey as to why he was taking off so late in the evening. He didn’t know what else to do. Amy had more or less threatened to throw them both under the bus if he didn’t do as she asked. The other thing – something very few would probably understand – was that she was still his daughter. Part of him entertained the idea of having her committed. Protect society and protect her. But that opened up the risk of authorities poking in too close to him and the family and that was not something he was willing to see fall in her wake. He'd be lying if he said he became an unwitting accomplice. He threw himself into helping her cover up her crimes the moment he'd found out what she'd been up to during her absence from the family home. It was almost second nature, just as he'd admitted. He'd covered up things for his own father and brother, had covered up things for Hailey. So what was one more in his life, right? If anything, be grateful that Alec was a good lad and enjoy that taste of normalcy he still had.

What the hell had he allowed himself to get caught up into, though? Amy was his and Hailey's darkest and most evil parts rolled into one. Whatever madness that ran through both their bloodlines had sought home in little Amy, the wiring in her brain so fucked over, nothing held her back. No concept of right and wrong. She wanted pain, lust and death. She wanted him to love her in a way that would never be possible. The normal boundaries of existence meant nothing to her. And yet, she still craved his approval and love like any child would want from a parent. She'd felt neglected, living too long in Alec's shadow. Maybe they really did neglect her emotional needs without ever realizing it. Alec had taken up a great deal of their time and attention through the years. Maybe he knew this subconsciously and that had been why he found himself so willing to help her any way he could. It was a hard pill to swallow when you really thought about it. Acknowledging that maybe her behaviors really had stemmed from their inattentiveness to her. It hadn’t been intentional obviously. He and Hailey had done the best they could under the circumstances. Hell, they were winging it most of the time anyway, right? Add to this trying to care for a severely disabled child and then, after coming to terms with the idea of Alec being an only child, finding out they were going to have another. They’d already gotten on the whole family gig kind of late with Alec as it and were even older when Amy had been born. They’d been in over their heads.

It was too late to remedy it now. They were in too deep, weren't they? They’d been in too deep since they’d dragged that useless bitch from Seattle to the UK to torture her. In too deep when they’d nearly split up and there’d been a fear that Amy wasn’t his. In too deep when they’d gotten careless with the private investigator and had left the basement door unlocked for Amy to open it up and see. That last holiday in Seattle had left a stain on their family they couldn’t seem to escape. It spread from Alec, to them and even to Amy. Their darkness, their madness, their inability to control themselves. Spreading like a virus through the home and infecting nearly everyone. The only one immune now appeared to be Alec himself and Murdoc could only hope that this immunity could spread to little Ben.

Grumbling under his breath, he kicked away some rocks as he wandered closer to the trailer. He wasn’t about to go inside, unwilling to see what Amy planned to do. This particular evening had been different than others. She’d demanded he meet her at this decrepit little trailer park and wait until she needed him. His car was parked down the road from the main entrance and he’d walked over just as she was pulling in. He’d ignored offers of a short ride, merely trailing behind on foot until he spotted her car parked next to the silver motor home. She had already gone inside by the time he’d reached the lot space and he had been more than happy to linger outside and wait her out. He could hear some talking through the walls, but not enough to catch all that was being said. She’d only mentioned that it had something to do with a mate of hers and that was it. Was it the mate who had found out her boyfriend had been cheating on her? He’d overheard bits of pieces about something days before. The woman he’d been cheating with had called her mate to essentially brag about it. So this wasn’t a normal hunt for her? This was some kind of revenge?

When Amy emerged from the trailer, he caught a glimpse of an older woman taped down to a chair, her eyes wide and wild when they landed on him. One of those women who tried desperately to recapture their youth. Frizzy blond hair testimony of too much bleaching, her clothing something he’d seen on young women half her age. Eyes nearly bulging from her head as she uttered muffled screams through tape slapped across her face and rocked around in the chair before finally falling over onto her back, sobbing through the gag. Amy said nothing as she stepped down to the dirt, smiling at Murdoc. “I need some thins' outa the boot.” He went to the rear of her beaten little sedan without a word, unlocking the boot and drawing back with a gasp. Laying in the boot of the sedan was a man who looked as horrified as Murdoc did, the two of them staring at each other in terrified silence. Amy said nothing, reaching in and hauling out the sandy haired man by his shirt, throwing him to the ground. His hands were bound behind his back and tape had been wrapped around his head, covering his mouth. Murdoc recognized him. This was indeed the mate’s boyfriend. He’d seen him a few times when the young woman had come to visit. And this man was staring back at both he and Amy, muffled noises coming from him as he struggled to get back to his feet. Amy wrenched the bound man to his feet and started shoving him towards the silver trailer. “Come on, Tim, you'll get t' spend your last moments with your lil' fuck of the week.” Murdoc could only watch as she pushed the man forward and through the still open door, hearing Tim’s muffled cries when he saw the blond woman bound to the chair on the floor and still sobbing. Amy paused at the doorway, looking over her shoulder and gesturing at the sedan. “Dad, grab the petrol outa there. I'm gonna need it.”

Murdoc stood there numbly looking around. He could walk away from this and just go home. What had she needed him for anyway because it was clear she had this under control. Was it a way to hold more leverage over him? Make him an accomplice to another crime though he’d done nothing more than witness it? Amy was still lingering at the door, a look of frustration on her face as he took his time. He didn’t have to do this. Just walk the fuck away. When she cleared her throat and shoved Tim further into the silver trailer, he listened as she struck the man a few times followed by the sounds of tape being peeled from a roll. Most likely restraining the man so she could finish whatever she’d started. The woman in the chair was still sobbing and Tim could be heard making noises through his own taped gag. Murdoc closed his eyes, trying to tune it all out, even as Amy appeared again, pushing him away with a growl of frustration. He watched as she grabbed the petrol can and stormed back over to the trailer. Watching as she disappeared inside and the cries of her captives turned to muffled screams followed by the strong scent of the petrol.

He sighed, closing his eyes. He could hear the flames now. Hear the muffled screams. Amy was back at the boot of the car, tossing the empty petrol can inside and shoving past him to the drivers side of the car. He looked up at the trailer, seeing the flames as they spread, the screams now lost in the roar of the fire as it consumed the trailer as if it were nothing. Amy was pulling away, barking at him to get the fuck in. He was on auto pilot, opening up the back door and dropping into the seat, the car in motion before he could even close it and soon the trailer park passed his view and they were back out on the street. What had he become? What had she become? Amy was irritated, snapping at him as she drove to where his car was, demanding that he just get out and go home. He could do that. Go home and shower away this night. She hadn’t needed his help. This entire night had been little more than something to hold over his head. Something to keep him as compliant as she could. Just go home. Get away from her and this place. Put on the charade of normalcy once Hailey, Alec and Nina awoke. Everything’s fine. Everything’s peachy fucking keen. Until Amy decided she’d need him again and he had no choice but to help.


	31. Music Box, Part III – House of Cards

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: ASSAULT, NON CON, SENSITIVE MATERIAL

The house seemed so cold and empty as he walked through. Though only vacant for mere days, it felt like years really. Murdoc pulled his jacket tight against his frame as he stepped through the dark foyer and into the kitchen. The remains of that afternoon were still in the sink, seeing the coffee mugs, the plates with food still stuck to them, some silverware. He stepped carefully through the house, looking around at everything as if he expected it to come to life and welcome him back. He'd spent the last four days in jail. Age be damned, it sure was his saving grace when he faced court earlier that morning, his lawyer pointing out that his advanced years barely made him a legitimate threat and that the courts couldn't base their decision to keep him locked up further on the word of an adolescent boy who seemed driven by vengeance more than anything. So Murdoc was released until the next court hearing, which was months from now. The only issue was that Hailey was still being kept at the hospital, the on staff doctor refusing to release her and Murdoc barred from seeing her until shit could get sorted out. He saw no light at the end of that tunnel, some of the codgers at the courthouse even suggesting he might not be able to see her until after his first court date.

Whatever, he’d sort that out later. Give him a day to rest and feel more himself again. He was home. His own bed, his own shower and decent bloody food. Mounting the steps, he ventured upstairs to hit up his shower and maybe catch a nap. Then he'd find out a way to see how Hailey was faring. May have to get Alec on the line for that. He’d been discharged finally but had not yet left the hospital in order to stay near his mother. Murdoc realized that outside of a few days here or there through the years, neither he nor Hailey had truly been apart in the near four decades they'd spent together. Consider this a holiday, he thought grimly when he reached the top of the steps, staring at the darkened hallway that led to his equally dark bedroom. What was it about empty houses that gave people the creeps anyway? The entire house itself seemed to sense that things were off kilter in the Niccals kingdom and it made its displeasure known.

Running the tap as hot as he dared, he turned on the shower head and shed his clothes, groaning loudly when the water hit his skin. He took his time, even pausing in the midst of his washing to examine his chest hair, frowning when he realized no black remained. Hmm, now that was a bit disappointing. Sucking in his stomach, he peered down further, cursing under his breath when he realized that the hair below had even taken on an odd shade of steel grey. This shouldn't have been a surprise, just nothing he'd really taken notice in. Why notice it now? Because he was alone in the big fucking house and unsure of what to do? Shaking his head absently, he continued lathering up the soap and scrubbing himself down. After rinsing the soap from his body, he remained beneath the shower for a length of time, eyes closed and thoughts dull. A nap sounded fucking excellent right about now, didn't it? “Yes it does,” he murmured aloud, shutting the water down and stepping out. Drying himself quickly, he took in his image in the mirror. He had to admit that his physique wasn't that terrible for his age. Bit of a stomach, but otherwise the grey hair on his body seemed to be the only thing that gave away his body's age. Or maybe he was fooling himself? He was over eighty after all.

Not caring about his nude state, he collapsed onto his bed, curling his arms around Hailey's pillow, taking in her scent. Being the only inhabitant in the house at the moment, he found himself hearing all the random noises of the house. It was an older home, so of course it would make noise. Or maybe the house had a life of its own and wanted its people back. All of its people. Well, that wasn’t going to happen any time soon. There was still a lot to get sorted before all of its people would come back. He allowed himself to drift off, dozing peacefully on his big fucking comfortable bed. He hadn’t realized just how comfortable this bed was. Four days on a yoga mat in a small cell really did make you appreciate the home amenities, eh? Log in some napping and maybe once he woke, he could fit in a good vigorous wank session to ease some of his pent up frustrations.

He wasn't sure how long he'd slept, but when he opened his eyes, it was dark outside and the bedside clock said it was a quarter to nine. He'd slept for several hours. Part of him panicked when he realized he'd slept so long when all he intended for was a quick nap, but he also remembered that he was the lone inhabitant in the house at the moment and that the length of his nap really didn't matter in any way. He rolled on the bed, stretching as a massive yawn erupted from him. This actually wasn't too bad. He almost felt guilty that he was enjoying it, knowing that Hailey was secured somewhere else, probably missing this bed just as he had been. He needed to find out when he'd be able to see her or when she'd be released. Either one of the two would be sufficient at this point. And he also needed to find out what Ben was doing while at Nina's. See what the lad was doing in the background now that he was free of is so-called oppressors. Christ, he had far too much to do and he wanted some sort of instant gratification from it. Call everyone and have everyone back by tomorrow evening. Yes, of course, _totally_ plausible, you old fool.

Rising from the bed, he grabbed some pajama bottoms from his dresser and snatched his robe off the bed post, throwing that on to combat the faint chill. There was some debate over whether or not he should make some coffee or simply grab a bottle of something nice and strong from the freezer, the bottle in the freezer winning that battle. That did take a bit of searching for since Hailey had gone to the market right before Ben had brought hell onto them. She had buried the high octane booze somewhere behind packages of meat, frozen fare boxes and frozen vegetables. The spiced rum was located behind some chicken cordon bleu and he eagerly yanked it out, knocking a few things out in the process. He uncapped the bottle with flourish, taking straight swigs from it as he collected his cell phone and then ventured back up the stairs to the bedroom. Other than a message from Tessie about giving her statement to the police, nobody else had attempted to contact him. Old message from Alec about him being discharged and staying around to keep Mum company, but that was about it.

Enjoying the warmth as the rum went down, he dropped back down onto the bed. He could catch some telly up there. The one kept in their room was small, seldom used unless they were exploring some of their DVD collection. He’d been considering this anyway, right? Curiosity peaked, he clicked the little plasma on and waited for the disc to load. He couldn't remember the last movie they'd watched, but it really didn't matter since he'd be happy with whatever was there. Porn was porn and he’d stroke himself to whatever at this point. Men, women, it made no fucking difference to him. Taking another swig from the bottle, he watched the telly with a smirk when the images that flickered across the screen were some busty beauty and her rugged looking partner. He made a noise in his chest, reaching into his pajama bottoms. Using his free hand to tip back the bottle of rum, he slowly stroked himself with the other. It took a bit of work, but once he was ready, he shoved his pajama bottoms down past his hips, reaching for the towel he'd used hours earlier to dry himself.

He had to crank up the volume a bit and it didn’t take long for the room to be filled with the moans and slap of fresh to flesh. He closed his eyes, listening intently to the sounds of the woman's moans as her rugged partner pummeled her hard, his own moans sending ripples of pleasant feelings down Murdoc’s spine. Slicking his hand, he stroked himself carefully, enjoying the sensation, moving his hand slowly and deliberately. Oooh, this felt good. He allowed his imagination to wander, fueled by the sounds of the couple moaning, picturing her on her hands and knees before him, ass in the air, presenting herself. He imagined himself kneeling behind her and slowly sliding himself in, groaning loudly as his hand tightened its grip just a bit. “I'm gonna pound that pussy,” he panted, stroking himself harder, enjoying the mental images that played out in his head in sync with the audio from the movie. Lost in the sensations, his own moans mingled with the moans of the couple on the telly. Uncaring that his voice had carried through the room, he continued to stroke himself vigorously, focusing on the blissful feelings and teetering on the edge as he was brought closer and closer to bliss.

“You're enjoyin' yourself, I see,” Amy chuckled, her voice breaking through his fantasy, the room coming back into focus. She was standing in the doorway, merely watching him with a raised eyebrow. Sputtering and gasping as release hit, he grabbed at the blankets and dragged them across, whimpering as he finished against the blankets. She laughed again, striding into the room. “Please, dun' act modest on my account. I've seen my share.”

“Fuckin' hell, Amy,” he groaned, piling more blankets over his lower half. “It's called fuckin' privacy. Now get outa here.” Reaching beneath the blankets, he yanked his pajama pants back up, eying her suspiciously as she sauntered further into the room. “Are you deaf or dumb, Amy? I said t' get out.”

“You're the one who left the door unlocked an' your bedroom door wide open,” she retorted in a matter of fact tone. “Dun' act like it's such a big fuckin' deal, I've seen you do it countless times.” She cracked a smile at his surprised look. “It's quite entertainin' t' watch, I might add. You really get in t' it sometimes.”

Murdoc shook his head, feeling momentarily helpless. He hated that feeling. He didn't have the advantage of authority over her nor the advantage of more clothes. Trapped and helpless now. The older she got, the stronger she got while the older he got, the weaker he got. This was a hard pill for him to swallow, recognizing his advanced years now put him at a disadvantage. She had him cornered and they were truly and legitimately alone. He swallowed back the lump that formed in his throat, reaching for the bottle and taking a massive swig from it. Amy reached out, taking the bottle from his hand and taking a drink from it herself before handing it back. He stared at the amber liquid, trying to savor the dull glow inside. He watched her carefully as she sat at the edge of the bed. “You need t’ learn boundaries,” he said, taking another drink and handing her the bottle.

“I find it amusing how brash you can be in one breath then prudish the next,” she said softly, taking a drink. She peered over at him, watching as he slowly pushed himself up, arms resting now on his raised knees. Handing him back the bottle, she lit a cigarette, crossing a leg over her knee. “Honestly, I dun' like that I make you so uncomfortable.”

Murdoc rubbed the bridge of his nose, grabbing his glasses from the bedside table. His vision was starting to double, the young woman seated at the edge of the bed blurring out of focus. He set the bottle aside, a heavy sigh erupting from him. “Well, I dun’ like it much either,” he said softly. “I've accepted that whatever it is, it's not goin' t' change, but it's still troublin'. I can pride myself in bein' what I am, but there are lines that should never be crossed.” He wasn’t sure why he was saying this because they’d been over this several times over through the last fifteen, sixteen years. Christ, she was in her thirties. She was at her peak now. And though she was speaking softly and looked very much like that lost little girl he remembered, he could sense something else beneath the surface, something menacing. “Look, I need you t’ step out of here so I can get m’self sorted. If you wanna talk, we can talk. But not in here an’ not like this.”

“I dunno what t' think an'more,” she murmured, dropping her gaze to the floor. The sadness in her voice didn’t escape him and he found himself reaching out and touching her arm. She covered his hand with hers, taking a breath as she continued. “I want thins’ back t’ normal. I want t’ be your lil’ girl ‘gain an’ not be seen as some kind of monster.”

Murdoc cleared his throat, taking in her sad expression. So thin and frail looking, the sadness deep in her dark brown eyes. She was older, the signs of her aging evident in her face, but for a brief moment, he saw the round faced little girl who'd once idolized her older brother and bragged loudly about becoming a rock star like her dad. The same little girl who'd curl up between him and Hailey, safe and content. The black haired infant that grinned and slobbered all over him. His vision blurred further and he realized they were his own tears. Sniffing loudly, he wiped at his eyes, shaking his head. “I want my lil’ girl back too. I miss her. I dunno what changed or what went wrong, but I want my lil’ Wild Thing back.” He wiped at his wet eyes again, feeling her stare as he took a breath and set the bottle aside. “Fuckin’ hell, girl, dun’ make me all weepy...”

“You're drunk,” she laughed as tears danced in her eyes. He cracked a smile as he scooted to the edge of the bed, one leg hanging over. She uttered a whimper, covering her face with her hands as soft sobs escaped. He hated how small and fragile she looked. Was this the epiphany he’d been waiting to see for so many years now? Finally realizing she needed help and actually wanting it? How could they get her the help she needed without it bringing to light their every crime? Never mind any of that, just be glad she’s finally seeing the light, so to speak.

“You dun’ need t’ cry,” he whispered as he curled an arm around her shoulders and pulled her against him into an embrace as she broke down into more sobs. Smoothing her hair back, he kissed the top of her head. Just get her the help she needed and try to move forward. That was all they could do. He grabbed the bottle and took another drink from it, feeling her hand clutch at his shoulder. As she slowly sat up and looked at him, it occurred to him that her eyes were dry. That sad and mournful look on her face was gone, replaced with that strange cold and emotionless mask. Could’ve been the drink. He’d downed half the bottle at this point. He cracked a toothy smile at her, the smile faltering when she did not smile back. His brow furrowed, staring at her face as he tried to gauge the change in the air. Every hair on his body stood on end as she continued to merely stare at him, scanning him over carefully. No, something wasn’t right. He looked back at her face again, feeling a tremor pass through him when he realized she was now smiling at him. There was no kindness or warmth in this smile. This was a cruel smile. A _gotcha_ smile. His throat went dry as he grabbed the edge of the bed to push himself to his feet. He needed to _get away_.

He needed to _run_.

*********************

Alec busied himself with clearing the kitchen, taking the brief respite from the hospital camp-out with Mum to help his Dad get the house in order. It was only he and Tessie in the house. He’d received a text from his Dad saying that he had some things to get sorted and wouldn’t be there when they arrived, but to let themselves in and get comfy. Mere yards away, Tessie worked at straightening the lounge, fluffing pillows and dusting off the polished tables. There really wasn't much to do, his Dad appearing to have done quite a bit before he’d stepped out. They’d arrived barely a hour ago to an empty gravel drive and the house shut down and dark. Just as Murdoc had said in the message, he was out and about. So the two let themselves in with Alec's own key. They’d stepped inside, Alec shedding his jacket but Tessie had kept hers on, hugging herself as she shivered. “It's cold in here,” she'd said finally, trembling. Alec had felt it too and wondered if maybe the furnace had given up the ghost. But it was more than just cold. Alec hadn’t been able to really put his finger on what it was, but something definitely felt off.

They’d pushed their uneasiness aside and started tackling the little chores that Murdoc had neglected before leaving the house. Alec ventured to the sitting room and checked to make sure there were no random dishes laying around, something his Dad had been well known for. Drove Mum mental. The study was unlocked and a cursory check revealed a neat and tidy office space and the sitting room itself had no stray dishes. He had not yet checked upstairs so with a shrug, he mounted the steps and made his way to the upper level of the house to check the rooms. Amy’s room was empty and Alec found himself looking around as if looking for the first time. Maybe he was. He hadn’t been in her room since they were young adults. Still the same lavender walls, but it was bare of any personality. Just a small bed, a chest at the foot of the bed and a dresser, nothing else. The next room was his old room and it was a bit of a mess from Ben staying in there, but no dishes. Just clothing and what appeared to be the boy’s school laptop. Alec made a mental note to grab that before going downstairs because he needed to get that back to the school before they sent him a bill.

The last room was the master bedroom and Alec hesitated as his hand lingered over the doorknob. His parents’ room had always been off limits and he’d just never felt comfortable invading their private space. But knowing his Dad, if he’d been home a few days, there were probably a few dishes in there. He opened the door slowly, taking in the neatly made bed and little else out of place. No dishes to speak of, either. He stood in the room and looked around slowly. That same chilled feeling seemed to linger in the air. He wrapped his arms around himself, huffing loudly as he exited the room and pulled the door shut behind him. Everything was in order upstairs. Man, their room was icy cold though. Just like when they’d first stepped into the house. It was possible Murdoc was taking advantage of being the lone occupant and not bothering with the heat. It had been Hailey who needed the warmth, her arthritis making the cold mostly intolerable. Alec himself had gotten so used to the house being warm year round that he didn’t even really think about it much anymore. His Dad not bothering with the furnace while Mum was away was the most likely culprit.

“Do you plan on tellin' Amy what happened?” Tessie asked as he appeared back in the kitchen. “She doesn't know what happened yet, does she?”

“Maybe,” Alec grunted, shoving the last dish into the dishwasher. “Might have t' tread carefully on that. She's been known t' beat first an' ask questions later.” He wasn't sure how they planned to break this mess to Amy. She'd become rather distant with the family. And Alec picked up something that he couldn't quite put his finger on with her. Something that unsettled him. Something that made every hair stand on end when he was near her. Whatever it was, his instincts picked up on _something_ he didn't like, which made him keep a respectable distance from her. He had no real memories of her before the coma, with only brief flickers of a few childhood incidents. Nothing of substance, though. The woman he'd met upon waking was nothing at all like the little girl his Mum had shown him in pictures. Of course, with such limited memories of their lives together as children, he acknowledged that there was a possibility she'd always been a bit off.

Maybe it was something genetic, he mused, closing the dishwasher up and pushing the normal settings. He knew his Mum was a bit off and dealt with a great many issues, most of it stemming from past abuses as a child. But was it too far of a reach to speculate that it had always been there inside her and the abuses had been the catalyst? Perhaps this something was passed on to Amy, only the trigger was unknown. And in some cosmic version of Murphy's Law, skipped over Alec and landed in Ben? For all he knew, he was grasping at straws, trying in vain to put reason to a series of events that had shattered their family. And what about Dad? He dealt with his own demons, didn't he? His own genetic line far from perfect. It was difficult to say, really. Unless the entire family sat down with a shrink and had a family tree of medical records, which he knew neither of his parents had, chances were all they had was speculation and speculation alone.

Tessie's voice came from the lounge. “I see your Dad's car.”

Alec double checked the kitchen and lounge, content with the little they had to do. He grabbed a couple of beers from the icebox, twisting the caps off and setting them onto the table. Within a matter of moments, Murdoc was coming through the door. He shed his jacket, hanging it on the small rack on the foyer wall, tossing his keys onto the shelf just above. Seeing Alec, he smiled, gesturing at the beer on the table. “Christ, you have no idea how badly I need one of those.” Alec flashed a look at Tessie, who shrugged. He seemed smaller and closed off, his dark eyes walled off behind his broken glasses. It had been a few weeks, but Alec was almost certain the glasses had been intact the last time he'd seen them. Now they were a little bent, tape holding them together at the one side. Sensing Alec's stare, Murdoc glanced at over at him. “What?”

Frowning, Alec shook his head. “What happened t' your glasses?”

Murdoc set the beer down, pulling his glasses from his face. “Broke them. I think in all the chaos goin' on.” Something about his tone alarmed Alec. Or maybe it was just his time away from them all and he was now taking notice of all the little things within the family he'd never noticed before. He examined his Dad carefully, not seeing anything too out of the ordinary. His posture was a bit weird, but he was an old man and old men weren’t known for good posture. No, nothing about him physically that stood out. It was the eyes that caught Alec’s attention. Though Murdoc smiled at them both and was friendly, his eyes told a different story. They were walled off, cold and distant. Looking around the house warily. Of course, given what had taken place, he was probably still trying to wrap his brain around it all and on the defensive. He'd just spent several days in jail due to his grandson's accusations. He'd only been home a few days at the most and still had far too much to deal with before this whole mess would pass over. Most likely he was tired and stressed out. They all were at this point.

Murdoc excused himself, grabbing the beer and venturing upstairs. Tessie frowned at the darkened stairwell, hearing the old man make his way to the bedroom. Clearly she was seeing it too. “Dun' push him, Alec. He's been through a lot the last week or so. Give him space.”

“Somethins' not right,” he muttered, hearing the door shut at the end of the upstairs hall and the eventual sound of water running.

“Of course somethins' not right, Alec,” Tessie said sharply. “Your son accused him of harmin' Hailey, had him arrested. Had your Mum put in a psychiatric ward. I'd be a nervous wreck too.”

“Reckon you're right,” he sighed, kissing the side of her head gently. “Ever'one is still on edge an’ we still need t’ figure out how we’re gettin’ Mum outa there an’ reachin’ Amy.” He moved away from her, grabbing the second beer and making his way to the lounge, setting the cane against the sofa before dropping down into the cushions. What fucked up thing to come home to. Trapped in a hospital, unable to help his family until it was too late, coming home to a father who seemed now distant, on the defensive and even a little frightened, a son who made it clear he wasn't coming home and despised them all, his mother practically committed and his partner in the mix trying to keep everyone afloat. She could have easily decided this was too much and walked off, but she hadn’t. If that wasn’t love, he didn’t know what was.

Eventually Murdoc came back downstairs, freshly showered and in fresh clothing. He took a seat beside Alec on the sofa, easing his frame back and kicking his feet up onto the coffee table in front of them. “How you feelin', Alec?” he asked gruffly.

“Horrible,” Alec muttered dismissively. “All this shit went down an' I couldn't do a fuckin' thin' t' stop it.”

Murdoc merely nodded, taking a drink from his beer. “Can't disagree with that. Any word from Ben?”

“No.” Alec shook his head. “Nothin' as of yet.”

“He's a shit,” Murdoc growled, returning his attention back to the telly. “A vindictive lil' shit.”

“An' how 'bout you?” Alec asked, sitting upright, arms on his knees. “You're not your usual charmin' self I notice.”

“Too much shit on me mind, boy,” he huffed, not looking at him. “Sucks bein' old an' unable t' protect yourself or your family.”

Alec glanced over at his father, unsure of what more he could say. Murdoc still looked wired and on edge, but without him volunteering any information, there was little else Alec could do. Tessie was right, the old man had been put through some hell and probably was hurt by Ben’s betrayal. Murdoc and Ben had always been super close, so having Ben accuse him of hurting Hailey and causing a cock up that would take weeks or even months to sort out was probably overwhelming as hell. There was nothing anyone could say at this point that would make it all better. Their family had been pulled into a nightmare in which there was no real escape. Okay, maybe that was a bit over-dramatic, but that was what it sure as hell felt like. Deciding that speaking further was no longer necessary, he went back to watching the program flickering across the telly, the odd and awkward silence making him shift uncomfortably in the sofa. Made him realize just how tired he was. He hadn't slept well while in the hospital and the sofa cushions sure seemed soft as hell.

“Take a nap, boy,” Murdoc grumbled, patting his knee. “Not like we're in any hurry t' go an'where.”

He took his father's advice, leaning into the cushions and closing his eyes. Yeah, this felt fucking great. And almost as soon as he closed his eyes, sleep threatened, pulling him down into troubled dreams of a son he no longer recognized, his words more cutting than any knife. Though he could hear voices in the distance, the dream engulfed him, crying out for the lost son. Lost in a void where he could hear noises in the background, but the focus had been Ben’s face and voice as he called Alec horrible names and made it clear he would not come home. The voices in the background seemed to grow louder and louder, becoming more distinct. He found himself turning towards the voices, trying to shut out Ben’s continued insults and threats. Something else was going on and he needed to see what it was. Where were those voices coming from? Why did they sound so familiar? Tessie's voice shattered through the dream state. “ _ALEC, WAKE UP!_ ” He jolted awake, realizing he was hearing screaming upstairs, things breaking and just beneath it all, his father's voice, screaming at someone to get out of his house. Still groggy, he struggled unsteadily to his feet, grabbing his cane. Amy's voice, she was the one screaming. Hysterical and incoherent. Alec shuffled towards the stairs, grabbing the railing and starting the tedious climb, a climb that now seemed too dangerous to attempt. Tessie's voice, blending in with the chaos, saying something Alec couldn’t quite catch. Something about freaking out. More screams from Amy, now nothing more than guttural noises that seemed more fitting for an animal and not a person. Alec took a breath, pulling himself up the steps, desperate to figure out what was taking place. His Dad's voice erupted over the noise. “I told you not t' come back! Now get outa this house, Amy. Dun' make me call the police!”

“I thought you said you loved me!” Amy screamed shrilly. “You said I was always wanted!” Something shattered from within her room. Alec paused at the landing, peering up at the top of the stairs, seeing both his Dad and Tessie just outside Amy's door. Tessie ducked, something flying past her head, shattering just behind Alec on the wall followed by Amy’s high pitched wail. “You said I was your lil' girl!”

“I dunno what you are now,” Murdoc hissed, shaking his head at her. “An’ whatever it is, I dun’ want it in m’ house!”

Amy's screams subsided into choking sobs. “Dun' cast me out 'gain. I can't.....I can't take it an'more. Please Daddy....please, dun' make me go 'way.....I won't hurt you 'gain....I promise. I'll be good. I'll be a good girl....”

Alec frowned, hearing the pain and desperation in her tone. She emerged from the room, reaching out towards their Dad, still pleading in that weird high pitched voice, something almost child-like about it. Murdoc recoiled in disgust, grabbing her arms and shoving her away from him and back into her room. “Dun' touch me!” She fell backwards, a low wail coming from her. Alec found himself transfixed on the landing, watching everything unfold, slowly becoming aware that something much worse had been going on in the background of their lives, something that apparently only Murdoc had been aware of. From inside the room, Amy's heart wrenching sobs seemed to echo and reverberate through the house. Alec could feel his own emotions pulling at him, torn between that look of revulsion on his father's face and wanting to help his little sister.

Something large shot through the doorway, missing Murdoc's head by mere inches, breaking apart at the wall just above Alec's head as wood, metal bits and porcelain raining down on him. Staring down at his feet, he recognized the blue patterned china that had once rested on the lid of that music box, the music box his Dad had gotten for her. He _remembered_ that. Christ, he actually remembered when his Dad found that for her! There'd been a reason behind it, right? Something wrong with her. It was all too fuzzy now, no longer important. Or maybe it was? The music box had been purchased in an effort to help Amy, though Alec couldn’t remember exactly why they’d thought she needed help. He knew something wasn’t right, but couldn’t remember much more beyond the fact that his father had purchased this warped little music box for her and there’d been a reason behind it.

He knelt knelt down carefully to examine the shattered pieces of the music box. The motor was laying too far out of his reach, but a large chunk of the blue patterned china rested a few steps up. Alec bent low, picking up the piece. It had been a quaint little oval pattern, half of it shattered to bits with the other half nearly intact. Something on it caught his attention, something about it out of place. Dark smudges on it, one of the smudges looking very much like a smeared fingerprint. Dark red smudges, almost black, that flake away beneath his fingernails. “Dad.....” he cried out, pointing at the wood. “Jesus Christ, Dad, I think that's blood on this thin'!”

Both Murdoc and Tessie had been blind to Alec's presence, his voice dragging them from the hysterical woman who sat slumped over in the bedroom. Her body hitching and shaking through her sobs. At the sound of Alec’s voice, Amy’s head perked up and she clumsily got to her feet. “Tell him, Alec....Tell him I never did an'thin' t' you.” Alec stared at her with wide eyes, seeing her face raw and twisted in an agony that eluded him. “I won't hurt an'one 'gain. Dun' let him cast me out 'gain. Tell him. Tell him I never hurt you!”

Alec shuffled backwards as she stumbled down the stairs, her eyes wild. “Never hurt me?” he asked softly, his brow furrowing in confusion. He took a step back when her hands came out. “Good god, Amy, what the bloody hell is goin' on with you?” She looked almost feral to him, tears staining her cheeks as she continued to sob and look around at the faces all turned to her.

Moaning loudly, she slowly moved back up the stairs, reaching out towards Murdoc. “Get her out!” Murdoc barked as he skirted away from her reach. “Get that filth outa m’ house!” He was incensed and Alec couldn’t recall ever seeing him this furious. But it wasn’t just fury he was seeing. Murdoc kept moving out of her reach. He wouldn’t let her touch him. He looked repulsed and disgusted. And every time she’d get up and try to approach him, Alec could see fear flickering across his face. Was he actually scared of her? Alec didn’t know what the fuck had happened, but something had gone down unbeknownst to them and it had reached a head.

Amy stumbled back down the steps and collapsed at Alec's feet, rocking where she lay, sobbing loudly and muttering through her tears. Alec looked up at Murdoc, frowning when he turned away abruptly, wiping at his face before disappearing down the hall, followed closely by the sound of the master bedroom door slamming. Alec stood there, unable to move and unsure of what he’d just witnessed. “What the hell...?”

Tessie was at his side suddenly, looking as frightened and confused as he did. “We need t' get her outa here, Alec. He was startin’ t’ break down, like he was gonna cry.”

“What the hell happened?” he demanded hoarsely, helping her pull the near limp and sobbing woman to her feet. Whatever fight Amy had left in her, it was gone. Still moaning and weeping as they struggled to move her down the stairs and through the sitting room and kitchen. Upon reaching the foyer, her limp body came to life, scrambling and shrieking against them as they reefed open the front door and pushed her through, slamming the door hard. Locking the bolt, Tessie leaned against the door, hearing the woman scream and sob on the other side, pounding hard enough to rattle the door on its hinges. Alec collapsed against the wall, his legs giving out. “What the fuck was all that 'bout?”

“Dunno,” Tessie panted. “She showed up. Her an' Murdoc exchanged words outside, she barged in t' the house an' all hell broke loose. Alec.....you shoulda seen her. Somethin' weird. Murdoc wouldn't let her touch him. He was terrified of her.”

Movement from the kitchen caught Alec's attention, seeing Murdoc merely standing there and staring back at them both. Tessie was right. Small and shrunken again, every part of him walled off but there was no hiding the wetness on his cheeks or the strange look of fear on his face. Alec could sense his hackles still up, still on the defensive. Alec wanted to ask what had happened. What had been going on behind the scenes that nobody else had known about? Why wasn’t Murdoc talking? He’d wanted Amy removed, unable to touch her, unable to even look at her. The three regarded each other a long moment before Murdoc took a breath and walked past them to the lounge and dropped into the sofa. Alec groaned, pushing himself back to his feet. “There was blood on that music box, Tess.”

“I saw it before she threw it,” Tessie whispered. “Do you think....?”

“Dunno,” he breathed. “Dun' wanna know.”

************************

Murdoc and Alec sat outside, smoking their cigarettes. It was a pleasant afternoon, the weather mild enough to enjoy the fresh air without being chilled to the bone. After some brief discussion in the house, they took their conversation outdoors. Ben was secured away at the Echo Glen facility and had been for two weeks now. Mum was hopping around the house with the aid of a weird little scooter contraption she rested her broken ankle on, now home for two weeks herself since Murdoc had managed to pull a few strings and get her out of the hospital. Alec was just glad things appeared to be calming down. Things with Tess were proceeding nicely and he was honestly grateful for that. Even with all the weird chaos between Ben and Amy and Christ knows what else, she’d stuck it out. Alec had brought up looking to move into a new place with Tessie and it had turned into a few minutes of his Dad ragging on him, which was to be expected.

He wasn’t sure when the conversation went to more serious matters. There’d been talk of Ben, some brief talk of Amy and how Murdoc wasn’t going to bail her out anymore, but something changed during the course of the conversation and Alec knew something was up when Murdoc wanted to be out of earshot from Hailey and Tess. Checking over his shoulder, Murdoc turned his attention to Alec. “I loved your sister, boy, but I cannot have that thin' in the house. It was no longer your sister, hadn't been in a long time.”

“I caught that,” Alec said, scrubbing his hands across his face. “What the hell happened, an'way?” He was actually glad they were broaching this topic because it had been eating at him for weeks. “That whole night was wild, Dad.”

“Christ, I know there's no way I'll be able t' hide it from Hailey, but please dun' say an'thin'. When words gets out, act surprised.” Murdoc's expression seemed pained, the worry etched deep in his heavily lined face. “I said I can't keep bailin' her out forever an' I meant it. I spent many years coverin' for her for many thins'.”

“What're you gettin' at, Dad?” Alec asked, still insanely confused.

“She's gonna do hard time, Alec,” he murmured in a trembling voice, taking a drag from his cigarette. Even his hands were shaking. “Most likely life.”

“For destruction of property an' assault?” Alec shook his head. That was pretty extreme. Was there some form of three strikes laws put into place? He was aware that Amy had a record. But would they really lock her up for life over this when most of her previous offenses had been just petty bullshit? “That's a bit over the top for that stuff, yeah?”

“They found a body in the boot of her car,” Murdoc whispered, his gaze fixed on Alec. “An' 'nough evidence in the boot an' back at her flat t' link her t' at least several other murders.”

Alec choked against the smoke, hacking loudly into the cold air. “The music box....” The music box she'd shattered. Blood on the blue patterned china. 

“She was on her way t' dispose of the body when she detoured over t' Nina's.” Murdoc stared out at the property before them, his eyes falling on the clearing just down the incline. “I knew 'bout a few of them, Alec. An' I was so desperate t' show her that I still cared, I did whatever she asked. Helped her clean up, helped her dispose of them. I just wanted my lil' girl back.....” His voice became thin and strained, making him pause and take a breath. “My lil' girl's been gone for a long time. Thought maybe she was just buried in there somewhere. Kinda hoped that maybe if I did what I could t' help, it would draw her out. But that wasn't my lil' girl an'more, Alec. It's like she died an' somethin' else was born in her place.”

Alec remained silent, unsure of what to say. Part of him wanted his father to crack and smile and say _Gotcha_ but the pain in his voice was too real. Too sincere. It was painful to see the old man struggle with such raw emotions. Since Alec’s memory of her growing up was almost non existent save for a few blurry snapshots in his head, he had no idea what she’d been like as a little kid. And whatever she was, Murdoc mourned the loss of it, acknowledging that she’d become something else. Alec had felt it since waking up. He’d always picked up that something wasn’t quite right with her, but he’d never suspected anything like this. His gut feeling had been right and his father had known all along. Acknowledged that Amy was dangerous. Had managed to keep everyone in the dark and had even helped cover up her crimes. Leading some twisted double life in order to protect the daughter he had lost so long ago.

“I dunno where we went wrong with her, Alec,” Murdoc whispered as he wiped at his eyes. “I just know my little girl was beyond broken an' there was nothin' I could do t' fix it. An' I knew I couldn't keep the facade up forever. Keeping that dark thing at bay, keepin' your Mum unaware. I knew ever'time I laid eyes on her, it was not Amy. It craved thins' no human should crave. She needed this t' happen, t' get caught. I can't keep secrets an'more.”

“What do you mean by that?” Alec asked with raised eyebrows. “You make it sound like she was some depraved monster.”

“That's exactly what she'd become,” Murdoc said gruffly. “I shoulda recognized a long time 'go that it was no longer my daughter.” He turned his head, staring at Alec with glossy and tear filled eyes. “I've been the silent partner t' her madness for far too many years, Alec. Hold a great deal of secrets in this withered ol' heart. Things I can never share in this lifetime.” His lower lip quivered, the tears falling down his hollow cheeks. “She's dead t' me, Alec. My daughter died when she was four years old. The thin' that lived in her place was no longer my daughter.” He choked back a sob, wiping at his eyes and nose. “I never want t' hear her name 'gain....understand?”

Alec gave a curt nod, flicking his own cigarette away. A strange buzzing silence hanging between them as he stared at his hands and feet. So many secrets and skeletons in the family closet. He wanted to point out the hypocrisy of shutting the door to Amy over the same crimes Murdoc and Hailey had committed so many decades ago, but realized there were distinct differences. He knew why his parents had done what they’d done. With Amy, it was for reasons only she knew. Six of them, possibly more? Hadn’t he read somewhere about several unsolved murders? He had, hadn’t he? Heard about it on the news. A serial killer, the authorities were saying. They’d even brought in American FBI profilers in an effort to find out who the killer was. They’d incorrectly assumed the killer was male. But it wasn’t just the crimes that baffled him. It was also seeing the look of fear and disgust on his Dad’s face. Seeing how quickly he’d recoiled from her touch. “One thin', though....somethin' that's been naggin' at me since you had her thrown outa the house...”

“I've told you all that matters, Alec,” Murdoc said curtly, tearing his gaze away. “I take ever'thin' else t' the grave. An' that is all I will say.” He got to his feet, hands in his pockets as he ventured towards the woods. Alec pushed himself off the chair, following Murdoc towards the woods. He hated when his Dad was vague about shit. Something had passed between Dad and Amy, something that had nearly destroyed him. And this was something his Dad would most likely never say. Maybe he'd helped her with more than he confessed to? Maybe he'd even been the killer and she took the fall? He paused at the incline, watching the silver haired old man disappear into the woods, seeking the overgrown trail that he'd once kept maintained for him and the kids. Okay, so maybe not the actual killer. No way could he have physically taken any victims down. His joints were shot, his back was destroyed and he suffered most of the major ailments of men his age. So what was it? He'd seen the seething look of repulsion on his Dad's face when facing Amy. He had called her filth. No matter how horrible they'd been, Alec had never heard those words come from his Dad, not aimed at them anyway.

In the woods, Alec stared up at the leafy canopy. He could just make out Murdoc's outline in the distance. Struggling to move quicker, he found the path easily enough, able to maneuver his cane over the vines and other shrubbery. Finding himself at the edge of the creek, he saw Murdoc a few yards downstream, sitting on a rock and staring at the water. “What're we doin' here?” he asked, setting the cane against a tree and staring at the rocky outcrop.

“Eugh, funeral of sorts,” Murdoc said, pulling something out of his pocket and holding it out for Alec to see. The photo had been taken when Amy was three, not quite four. Standing on the sofa, grinning ear to ear with Murdoc sitting beside her, his dark hair pulled up to the top of his head and tied with a ribbon, exposing his sour puss face and receding hairline to the world, thick black eyebrows knitted together in irritation over getting caught in the act of allowing a bright pink ribbon in his hair. Smiling at the picture, he handed it to Alec. “Look how happy she was.”

Alec took the picture gingerly, hearing the catch in Murdoc's voice. “I've seen this one. When I first woke up an' Mum was tryin' t' jog my memory a bit. Made me laugh. Pink suits you, you know that?”

“You shut it,” Murdoc said, cracking a smile. “This was her favorite spot t' fish when she was just a wee thin'. Thought usin' lollies would catch the minnows better. Wouldn't touch the bait.”

“She really is dead t' you, isn't she?” Alec whispered, watching as Murdoc knelt down and used a rock to dig out a small part of the sand beneath the rock. “She was really that far gone?”

“You have no idea, boy,” Murdoc muttered, setting the photo within the small hole and covering it up with sand. “The Amy your Mum gave birth t' lies right here.” Dusting his hands, he stood back up and turned back towards the house.

Alec cursed, turning to try to keep up. “No last rites or whatever the lot call it?”

“She wasn't religious,” Murdoc said in a low voice, still staring straight ahead as they continued back through the path. “She was four. She still believed the tooth fairy brought her money.”

Back at the house, supper was in the last stages, both Alec and Murdoc finding themselves volunteered against their will to set the table. They did so as quick as they could, taking their seats quickly lest the girls decided to find more for them to do. Happy chatter surrounded him as he ate, surprised that spirits were so good given all that had taken place. Of course, Alec knew the big blow was still yet to come. Enjoy the happy moments while they could because no doubt Amy’s arrest and connection to the murders would be all over the news. Alec still wasn’t sure what to think of everything Murdoc had told him. And he was still convinced there was more to it that Murdoc wasn’t telling him. Couldn’t really push the matter though. It was clear the old man was in a lot of pain over what had happened. Yet he’d helped her. She had avoided getting caught for years because he’d been helping her dispose of the bodies and evidence. Did Alec believe the reasons he’d given? Sounded plausible enough. Murdoc rarely admitted fault in anything and yet he had admitted he’d helped in an effort to prove to Amy he still cared and had hoped he might recover a glimpse of the Amy he remembered. It was too raw and too sincere to be a fabrication.

After finishing their meal, both Hailey and Murdoc called it a night, disappearing upstairs and leaving Tessie and Alec the chaotic mess of dishes and leftover food. They busied themselves with cleaning up the mess, smoking cigarettes in between. There’d even been a few whispered jokes as to why his parents had vanished so abruptly. Couldn’t really fault them for that, now could he? They'd had few joys in life as of late and had almost been forced apart for good. Enjoy while you can, right? Just don't break a goddamned hip and expect him to go up there and help them. He chuckled to himself as he helped Tessie rinse the plates and load the dishwasher. She said nothing, only occasionally smiling at him. With the dishwasher loaded and everything up to par, Tessie grabbed a beer and went to the lounge. Alec went upstairs to use the bathroom. He needed to relieve himself and take a shower. It had been a busy day and he'd not had time for one that morning.

Standing in the hallway, he stood in the darkness just outside the bathroom. He chanced a glance over at the closed door that was Amy's room. It was closed and locked tight now. Off limits. His Dad had even installed a latch at the top, padlocked tight. From down the hall, he realized the master bedroom was amazingly silent. Ignoring his aching bladder, he crept down the hall silently. No voices, no sounds of a creaking bed. The door was ajar, the faint light from one of the small lamps lighting up the narrow opening. He nudged it further, peering into the room. He didn’t know what he might see, but judging by the quiet, he certainly wasn’t expecting anything that might require the need for eye bleach. He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to look. Could have been the overall atmosphere of the house and everyone else. Things had been thrown off kilter so badly. Taking a breath, he nudged at the door, watching as it swung open soundlessly.

Murdoc was curled against Hailey, his eyes closed. They were both still dressed, merely laying on the coverlet of the bed. Her hands in his hair, fingers moving through slowly, her head pressed close. His Dad made a dull noise, nestling deeper against her, muttering something Alec couldn't hear. Mum murmured something back, kissing his head and pulling him closer. Alec frowned in the doorway, taking in his Dad's rough and haggard appearance. Alec knew this whole mess with Amy had hit his Dad hard, but the man looked like a fucking wreck at that moment. It brought him back to those moments before his Mum had been released, seeing how small and withdrawn his father had been. Seeing how cold and walled off he’d been. Something had damned near broke him. Whatever it was, he wouldn’t say or maybe he couldn’t, but Mum had never been one to poke and prod for answers. Her only concern being that she was there for comfort should one need it. And it was plainly obvious his Dad needed it. Sensing their audience, Hailey frowned and looked over towards the door, meeting Alec’s gaze. He opened his mouth to say something, but his words died at his lips when his Mum shook her head and nodded towards the door. Understanding her silent command, Alec took a step back and pulled the door closed, hearing the latch click behind him.


	32. Music Box, Part IV – Forsaken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNINGS: REFERENCED RAPE, RAPE FLASHBACK, SENSITIVE MATERIAL

It had been a little over a year since Amy Niccals had been charged with the murder of seven people over an eleven year period. Her crimes had been discovered after she'd been arrested for an unrelated assault incident. The body of a woman had been found in the boot of her sedan, a woman reported missing just days earlier after leaving the local pub with an unknown woman who was later identified by witnesses as Amy. Though her case was all the rage in the media, her famous parentage never really took center stage. The world was more fascinated with the fact that this serial killer and sexual predator of women was in fact female herself. She had been linked to seven total murders, but the authorities suspected her involvement with at least three others during the same time period. She’d had a specific MO with her crimes. Targeting women who frequented a few different pubs in a specific grid of the city, allowing them to take her to their home where she’d assault them and eventually kill them. Trophies were often taken from the homes, many of them found in Amy’s flat during the execution of a search warrant. There was even evidence she had held onto some bodies for days to continue to assault before disposing of them in the woods far outside city limits. The American profilers brought in to help the local police had gotten most of their profile right. They knew they were looking for a loner in their thirties who had a specific hunting ground and was not seen as a legitimate threat to the victims. The only piece of the profile they’d gotten wrong had been assuming the killer was male.

Ignorance was bliss in the Niccals home. Neither Hailey or Murdoc spoke of their daughter. If you heard it from Murdoc, Amy Niccals died when she was a wee tot of four. Hailey had gone to visit the woman once in prison through the course of her trial, but never returned for future visits. Hailey had claimed that she no longer recognizing the woman who sat at the table with the thick layer plexi-glass between them. After that, it had been like her existence in the house had ceased. Murdoc removed any and all pictures of her beyond the age of four, stowing them away into the attic. Though it was difficult to avoid seeing her face or hearing her name mentioned, they resumed their lives as best they could. The entire family had been questioned by the police and psychiatric professionals alike. Procedure and nothing more, the authorities and professionals involved in Amy's case confident that no one else in the family were involved in her crimes or knew of them.

The house had finally went back to the normal motions. Well, as normal as it could be given the circumstances. Hailey was usually the first to rise, heading downstairs to make coffee and get some things ready for breakfast or whatever they had planned for the day. Murdoc would awake every morning to the smell of coffee and would venture downstairs to find the newspaper laying on the table and his mug filled with the first strong bits from the coffee maker with Hailey making breakfast for them. It had been the routine now for as long as anyone could remember. Murdoc couldn’t even tell anyone when the last time he’d poured himself his first cup of coffee had been because Hailey knew his routines enough to have it ready for him when he emerged from the upper level of the house. Hailey had always been about routine when it came to certain things. Free spirit and as mouthy as Murdoc, yes, but she had her little OCD moments. Some of the routines got a bit more rigid the older they got, but they were mostly little things that never really interrupted life much. And after the hellish year they’d faced, they were both keen on seeking normalcy in any shape or form they could grasp.

The current morning was no different, Murdoc emerging from upstairs, yawning and scratching at himself as he padded through the sitting room to the kitchen. Hailey smiled a greeting at him as he took his usual seat at the table, diving into the coffee and newspaper. “Alec called,” she said cheerily. “Said they might be coming to visit.” He nodded, not looking up from the paper. She moved to fetch her own cup of coffee, noting the dark circles under his eyes that indicated he hadn't slept well. Some nights were worse than others. Sometimes she'd awake to find him gone from the bed entirely, usually downstairs at the kitchen table, glass of water in hand, his eyes distant. Other times she'd be roused by his movements, seeing him in the throws of a nightmare. He never made a sound, but it was clear by the pained look on his face and the sweat that soaked his hair to his scalp that he was scared. She never questioned him about them, knowing that he'd tell her about them when he wanted to talk about it. For all she knew, he didn't remember them when he woke. Such was the curse of age, right? Sometimes she speculated that it had to do with his drive to wipe Amy out of their lives. His insistence that they'd lost her when she was young. He'd sensed it then, hadn't he? Something not quite right. Why pick that specific age? And she remembered being dismissive of it, unwilling to acknowledge that something was indeed wrong in the wake of that long ago moment in the basement. The two of them realizing that she’d caught them, though they’d had no idea how much she’d witnessed. So was it guilt that plagued him in his sleep? Something else she wasn’t privy to? He’d become a closed book in the wake of everything with Amy and Hailey could only assume he was coming to terms with their daughter’s crimes and it was taking time. Even she hadn’t been immune to that. She’d even had nights where sleep didn’t come easy, laying awake and staring at the ceiling as she tried to sort through what they’d discovered about Amy.

She glanced over her shoulder at him, watching as he casually flipped through the paper and sipped at his coffee. He had systematically wiped Amy's existence out of their home, padlocked her bedroom door shut and forbid the girl's name in the house. You didn't speak of her. Though she suspected there was more to all of this than just the murders, she never asked. She could even feel it in the house at times, particularly after he'd had a bad night. The chill in the house matched the coldness of his eyes. Whatever had happened, nobody was speaking about it. There had also been little things she’d noticed around the house. Not just him removing every scrap of Amy’s existence, but small things. Clothing missing. Linens missing. She’d inquired about it once, maybe a month or two after Amy had been caught. Wondering where a whole set of linens had disappeared to. Sheets, pillow cases and even the fucking comforter. Her inquiry had been met with cold silence and dark brown eyes that reflected nothing back. He hadn’t even spoken, but something had warned her that maybe it was best not to press the matter. He’d ran hot and cold frequently and she could even admit being a bit pricked by his fleeting changes in personality. He’d be cold towards her all damned day and then would rouse her from sleep in the middle of the night, wanting only comfort. She still never asked, never pressed the issue, offering the comfort he so desperately needed and sometimes laying awake herself long after he'd finally succumbed to sleep.

Filling her own coffee cup, she took a seat at her normal chair, browsing through a new issue of a magazine she subscribed to, only occasionally glancing over at him. At the back of the paper, she spotted Amy's name in what appeared to be a small article. Insanity plea. Given the state the woman had been in the one and only time Hailey had gone to visit, she was surprised it took this long for the public lawyer to go this route. Her eyes traveled back up to his worn and lined face, taking in all the little things that indicated his age. His sleep deprived eyes certainly didn't help. He looked exhausted. Frowning, she returned her attention back to her magazine. “You look like you need to get more sleep, Murdoc. I can call Alec and let him know to come another time.”

“I'm fine,” he said gruffly, not bothering to look away from the paper. “B'sides, Ben came home last night an' I'd like t' see him.” This was a bit surprising seeing one would think Ben would be the last person he’d want to see, but Alec had informed them that the boy’s year long stay at the youth facility had brought promising results. Murdoc’s eyes surfaced briefly, a small smile on his face. “An' it would be nice t’ have all of them here ‘gain.”

“Think anything's changed?” she asked softly, sipping gingerly at her coffee.

“He called Alec _sir_ ,” Murdoc laughed, returning his attention back to the paper in front of him. “Dun' think I'd ever heard the boy call an'one _sir_. I'll pay Alec t' see that with m’ own eyes.”

Hailey snickered into her coffee, finally draining the cup. In spite of the lack of sleep, he appeared in good spirits. Better than how he usually was when he hadn't slept well. Though she considered pressing the matter about him catching up on some much needed sleep, she decided it was best to drop it. Besides, it warmed her to see him smiling and laughing. It wouldn’t surprise her though to find out he was merely plotting on what yard work he was planning to load onto the shoulders of his slave labor. The old man was the biggest cheapskate when it came to things that were necessary, like landscaping. Even when Alec and Amy were younger, it had been his go-to line of punishment for them both. Well, as much as Alec had been capable of and Amy had always argued and fought the entire way through it until Murdoc would get fed up and send her to her room. His entire logic was why pay someone when you can get it done for free? Alec had helped a lot during Ben’s confinement but he tired quickly and often wasn’t able to finish things until the following day. Besides, as far as Murdoc was concerned, Ben owed them big and this would be how he repaid them. She didn't disagree with that. Ben had caused a lot of problems in their home and, if anything, owed them all one hell of an apology. Yet she couldn't help but think that maybe there had been a silver lining to the chaos Ben had brought down onto them. Had Ben not done what he'd done, Amy most likely would never have been caught.

The morning hours passed them by and it was nearing lunchtime when Alec, Tessie and Ben arrived. Hailey squealed with delight upon seeing the car, which led to Murdoc rolling his eyes and making a few cracks about how she was becoming like every other Gran out there. She didn’t care. With everything that had happened, she needed the slice of normalcy. Both Alec and Tess had moved out of their respective places shortly after Amy's arrest, finding a new place for them to move in together, both of them wanting a fresh start. While Tessie’s house would have been more than big enough to include Alec and Ben, it had held too many memories of the life she’d had with Tucker and wanted free of it. Hailey was just happy to see them both happy. They were all smiles as they came in through the front door, even Ben. Hailey beamed at Tessie, greeting her cheerily before turning her attention to the woman's still small but growing mid-section. Tess was only a little over four months along, but they’d found out last week they were having a girl. Some good humor from Murdoc about Alec being too old to be working on more kids. “You were forty-five when you had me, old man,” Alec said through a snorting laugh. “An' fifty-one when....” His voice trailed as he spoke, looking over at Murdoc. The look on Murdoc’s face spoke volumes, though he tried to hide it quickly with Ben right there. Hailey felt her own breath pause at the brief silence before finally smiling and chattering at them to get comfortable. No way were they going to ruin this visit. Catching the hint, Alec uttered a nervous cough and cracked a smile. “Well, forty-five when you had me, an'way....Me bein’ thirty-nine is nothin’.”

They were all well aware of the fact that Amy would never see the light of day as a free woman. And Hailey had talked to Alec at length about not discussing his sister when in the house, though she’d found out that both he and Murdoc had already talked about this a while back. She wanted the visit to go smoothly because she knew the last year had been hard as hell for them all and was it so bad to want something good right now? She didn’t agree with wiping Amy from their lives, but also knew that what had happened had wounded Murdoc immensely. Unbeknownst to him, she had a few snaps saved in her own private space. She had spent a lot of time staring at those snaps in the wake of Murdoc’s purge, staring hard at Amy’s gaunt but smiling face. She’d wanted to see if there had been something there she somehow had overlooked. Surely such madness would have been plain to see! Yet she’d seen nothing in the snaps that indicated anything more than a gaunt young woman smiling for the camera. And the Amy in the pictures had looked nothing like the wretched thing Hailey had encountered at the prison.

Her attention was drawn back to Alec, Tessie and Ben, who’d sprouted in height since the last time she’d seen him. Taller than her now, taller than even Alec. At fourteen he’d lost most of the remaining baby fat and his features were more squared and filled out. It was hard not to be amazed at just how much he looked like a perfect cross between Alec and Murdoc. The same prominent chin, dark brown eyes, dark brown hair and the same angular features his father and grandfather shared. She could even see the faint whispers of facial hair as he approached her and gave her a squeezing hug, whispering apologies in her ear as he pulled her off her feet. The defiant and unruly boy that had been taken to Echo Glen by force came back a mellow, thoughtful and respectful young man. A complete one-eighty. Alec was rattling away about how even he’d been shocked at the boy's drastic change. “Coudn’t believe m’ bloody ears when I asked him a question an’ he responded with _no sir_!”

Ben wandered around the house, looking around before finally trailing behind Alec and Murdoc to the sitting room. Alone in the lounge with just Tessie, Hailey shrugged and sat down on the sofa. “I assume Alec filled Ben in regarding his aunt?”

Tessie nodded, her smile now faltering at the corners. “He a’ready knew ‘bout a lot of it. I guess Echo Glen had a telly in their rec room. It was all over the news.” She eased herself into the chair that flanked the sofa, propping her feet comfortably onto the ottoman. “Not gonna lie, Hailey, I’m rather glad they’re mainly focused on the fact their serial killer was a woman an’ not who her family is. When news broke, I was so sure the reporters would be at all our doorsteps...even m’ parents!”

Hailey couldn’t deny that they’d been grateful the focus had mainly been on the fact that Amy was an anomaly. Nobody gave a damn that she was the daughter of Murdoc Niccals, it was all about how she was one of the UK’s first female serial killers who eluded police for so long because her methodology mirrored that of a man’s. A sexual predator and killer of women who was a woman herself. Treated like some kind of novelty. Even the United States had been inquiring about sending people over to interview her and pick her brain. Fine, go for it, just don’t come back to their doorstep. She’d had her fill of police officers, psychiatrists and numerous others trickling in and out of their home and even scouring the woods behind the house. That had terrified her the most. Showing up because they wanted to search the woods behind the house since they had proof at least two killings took place while Amy had been living in their very house. They never examined the clearing but they’d scoured the woods and the area surrounding the creek for days before finally deciding there was nothing and leaving. All procedure, they’d been told. Since Amy was their numero uno suspect in a few other cases, there was speculation she may have discarded bodies or evidence on the property somewhere.

After a moment of lengthy silence, Hailey perked her head up to make sure Murdoc wasn’t in ear shot. “So, you did tell Ben not to talk about her, right?”

“We did,” Tessie confirmed with a nod of her head. “He doesn’t quite get it, but said he would respect what his Grandad wants.” She slowly leaned forward, grimacing as she tried to lean over her belly, dropping her voice to a whisper. “How is he? Alec said thins’ were a bit rough for him in the wake of it all. Not sleepin’ well an’ such.”

“Some bad nights, some good nights,” Hailey whispered back, pausing briefly when Murdoc’s laughter carried through the kitchen. “One day at a time, ya know? It’s all we can do. Honestly, I’m glad you guys came over. This is the most I’ve seen him smile and laugh in weeks.”

*****************

Eventually, it was suggested that they all go outside. Alec was perfectly fine with this. The weather was pleasant and it would be nice to talk a walk around the property. They hadn’t even made it off the patio before Murdoc started rattling off about all the work the yard needed and how the trail needed upkeep and he knew just the bloke to do it. Ben, innocent as ever, asked _who_ which set both Tessie and Murdoc off into hysterics. Gasping for breath, Murdoc pointed a bony finger into Ben's chest. “Whodya think?” Ben's look of shock and dismay was almost too much, Alec himself chuckling as they continued across the grass. The sky was cloudless and blue above them and he could even see blooms sprouting out of the garden his Mum refused to give up on. Alec looked around the property with a smile, barely hearing as Murdoc continue on about all the little things the property and house needed. “House is in need of some TLC,” the old man said as he clamped a cigarette between his lips. “Think you boys are up t’ the task?”

“Dunno,” Alec whispered as he looked over the cottage. A good power-wash would clear out the mortar nicely enough. But it was clear the home had fallen into disrepair. His Dad was too old to do it himself and too fucking cheap to hire someone. Alec cursed his still struggling body, wishing he'd been in better health so he could willingly tackle it all. He no longer needed the cane, which was a blessing, but his fine motor still wasn't up to par. “Reckon there’s a few thins’ I could do an’ have Ben help with the rest.”

From the house came the sound of a ringing phone, all of them turning towards the partially open doors. Alec had been so used to texting his parents or calling their cells directly that he often forgot that they still had an aged and barely used landline. Initially Hailey looked over at Murdoc before sighing and turning towards the house. “Guess I’ll get it then.” She did nothing to hide the irritation in her voice and Alec wondered how often his father delegated the task to his mother.

Murdoc turned back towards the back property. “Thanks love,” he called over his shoulder as he started walking. Alec could even hear him snickering as he shoved his hands into his pocket and started his stroll across the grass. He paused halfway across, turning to look at the three somewhat bewildered faces. “She dun’ mind. An’ I hate answerin’ the bloody thin’. All we ever get on that line nowadays are telemarketers.”

Tessie started walking ahead to catch up, followed by Ben and finally Alec. It was kind of nice seeing Murdoc smile and laugh a bit. Though he’d tried to hide it all under a few grumbled cracks, there was no denying that he seemed like a completely different person today. He’d been so depressed after what had happened with Amy that even Hailey had reached out to Alec with her concerns. His parents were insanely private people and he couldn’t recall any time before where his Mum had called him over concerns of his father’s mental health. He figured it had to be bad if his mother was concerned enough to contact him. The problem was there had been little he could do. Murdoc wasn’t exactly an open book if something was bothering him. Even Alec knew there was more to what happened then what he was told, but the old man never uttered a word. Was it guilt over helping Amy? Guilt over keeping this information from Mum? Alec had no idea because the old man never talked.

They’d reached the incline and Alec stared down it cautiously. Ben darted down first, followed by Tessie. Alec remained planted in place as he watched with admiration as his Dad hit the incline and went down as if it were nothing. Agile and sure-footed as ever, which was more than Alec was. Taking a breath, he stepped down carefully, feeling his trainers loose traction after barely a few steps. His feet came out from under him and the next thing he knew, he was on his back at the bottom of the incline, hearing everyone laughing at him. Moment of de ja vu, remembering the last time he'd taken a tumble down the hill, losing his cane and cursing the universe for his rotten fucking existence. Murdoc stood over him, a toothy grin on his twisted old face. “Bet that woke you up, eh?” He extended his hand, Alec gripping it as hard as he could, hearing the old man huff loudly as he helped him up to his feet. Once on his feet, he felt Murdoc swiping at the dirt from his back. “Maybe you should be back at the house with the lil' woman. Fetch me a beer while you're in there.”

“Christ, you're a fuckin' arsehole, Dad,” Alec mumbled, wiping at his arms.

“Shit, boy, ever'body knows that.....Only one it ever seems t' come as a shock t' is you!” Murdoc cackled, lighting a cigarette. “Now, hop t' it. I'm thirsty.”

“Fuck you, old man,” Alec chuckled, slowly making his way back up the incline towards the house. He could still hear his Dad, Tessie and Ben laughing loudly behind him. Unable to resist, he grinned, laughing to himself. This was the Dad he remembered. His advanced years meant nothing really, his mind and mouth still quick on the draw. It was good to hear him quip his usual jokes and insults. Almost music to Alec's ears. Actually, an ice cold beer did sound good, didn't it? He'd grab one for himself, too. Geezer might as well owe him one. The old fart kept some pricey shit hidden in the back of the icebox. It eluded Alec as to why Murdoc continued to hide it, seeing that Mum couldn't really drink and she hated the brand he fancied. Complained that it was bitter and didn't go down well. More for them, Alec reasoned, grinning as he pulled open the French doors. He paused inside the doorway, hearing his Mum talking softly. Peering into the kitchen, he spotted her leaning against the window and something about her presence alarmed him. She was leaning against the counters, her face almost ashen and her eyes looked red and wet.

“No, I'm not being unreasonable,” she whispered harshly, silver eyebrows furrowed. “And no, I'm not putting him on the fucking phone.” Alec frowned, watching as she paced a bit in the corner, turning her back to him as she went about working on whatever food she'd decided to work on while on the phone. She looked like she'd been hit by a truck. Her pained expression initially making him think she was going to be sick. She continued to mutter and hiss into the phone, her voice low and words escaping Alec. Whoever was on the other end must have been insistent because it was clear her patience was running thin. “I don't care,” she growled, slamming the knife down she'd been using. “You have no fucking idea what this mess has done to him as it is. He wants nothing to do with her and has made that crystal clear for a while now.” Alec drew back a step, realizing quickly that she was unaware of him still. “I already said I'm not putting him on the phone, so quit asking!” There was a catch in her voice and fresh tears could be seen in her eyes. “I don't give a shit about procedure, it can stay wherever the hell you put it. Hell will fucking freeze over before we open our doors!” Alec frowned, glancing out the windows and still seeing his Dad, Tessie and Ben talking just at the edge of the woods. “No, I'm not going to tell him!” she snapped suddenly, pulling Alec back to the one sided conversation. “Are you fucking insane? It would fucking destroy him.” He could hear her breath hitching in her chest as she struggled to control her emotions. Tears were falling and a strained whimper escaped from her before she stood bolt upright, almost growling into the phone. “What the fuck did I just say? Were you even listening to me? I said no. Not happening. Keep it away!”

Alec took a breath, emerging from around the corner and seeing her throw the phone across the island. She uttered a gasp when he appeared, staring at him now with wide and tear filled eyes. “Who was that on the phone?” he asked.

“Amy's social worker.” The strangely strained tone didn’t escape him, watching her as she wiped at her eyes with her hands. She waved him off, returning her attention back to the vegetables she'd been dicing. “Just court business,” she added quickly

Alec raised an eyebrow, still staring at his mother. He could hear her rapid breathing as she focused on the food she'd been preparing. She paused in what she was doing to take a deep and shaking breath. The hand reaching for the knife was shaking and he could hear a low and thin whine coming from her as she hunched over the counters. “Mum?” he whispered, reaching towards her. “What was that all 'bout?”

“I just said what it was, yeah?” she snarled, jerking her shoulder away from his touch. “Now go back outside.” When he made no effort to move, she turned towards him, her eyes narrow and glistening with fresh tears. “Are you fucking deaf, Alec? _Go outside_!”

“Fine!” he snapped back. Pricked by her outburst, he snatched two beers from the icebox and stormed outside. What the hell was all that about anyway? Whatever the call had been about, it was obviously something serious and it involved Amy and apparently also Murdoc. Why wasn’t Mum willing to put him on the phone? He frowned when he reached the incline. Why did this damned incline look so ominous now? Stepping carefully, he managed to get down without falling on his ass and handed Murdoc his beer. Alec watched as the trio made their way towards the path, Ben rattling away happily about leaving the youth facility and finding out he had a new home, new room, new clothes and a new baby sister on the way. As long as he didn’t spill the beans on the fact that Alec was planning to propose to Tessie during their dinner date later this week. Ben had gone with Alec to look for a ring and Alec had made him promise not to say a word about it. Maybe they were moving too fast, but Alec figured he had a good thing going on right now and might as well grab the bull by the horns, right?

Glancing over his shoulder back at the house, Alec shook his head. Whatever that phone call had been about, he figured it was best Mum be the one to mention it. He knew there was a chance she'd remain tight-lipped on the matter and not tell his Dad anything, but that was between them and best it remained that way. Mum was clearly upset and he honestly had no desire to be caught in the crossfire of that fight. Ahead of them, wandering down the overgrown path, his Dad was grinning and pointing out all the different areas Ben would be working on. The crooked old fool was overjoyed he had his free labor back in the mix, a mile long laundry list of shit he wanted done already taking shape in his head.

After thoroughly going over what he wanted done, Murdoc led them all back towards the house. Alec felt the chill almost as soon as he walked in. His Dad strolled right up to Hailey, pulling her in for a quick hug and Alec couldn't help but notice she seemed stiff and distant. She didn’t pull away from him, but her entire demeanor was changed versus how she was when he, Tess and Ben had first showed up. Her coldness was lost on Murdoc, who didn't seem to notice, or let on that he'd noticed. She relaxed a little as the afternoon progressed, but on more than one occasion, Alec could see her staring at Murdoc. There was no longer any anger or pain in her features, but it was clear she was studying him over, watching his every move and gesture, thinking hard about something that eluded Alec.

*****************

_The blow caught him broadside, feeling the metal frame of his glasses catch under his eye before snapping and flying away from his face._ _She had her hand tangled into his hair, pulling his head back so he had no choice but to look at her. Dead and predatory eyes boring into him as she relaxed her grip on his hair._ _His own hand lashed out, striking her hard in the side of her head._ _She responded with another blow, a closed fist striking the side of his head so hard he saw stars for a split second._ _“Keep fightin',” she hissed, her hand sliding around his throat, fingers pressing tight. “I_ _won’t feel so bad ‘bout makin’ them watch me take what’s mine. Then, when I’m done with you, I’ll have my fun with them both b’fore slittin’ their throats an’ making you watch_ _.” He stared up at her with wide eyes, feeling the threat of tears when he realized there was no stopping her this time. He cursed his age, his physical health, his slow reflexes. This was not him, he wasn't weak! She was right there, her face inches from his. “Dun' think I'm fuckin' 'round this time_ _.”_ _A moan escaped from him as more tears fell, the sob caught in his throat. Her_ _words sunk in, the part of him still wanting to fight finally giving out. It was futile, wasn't it? She'd grown too strong and he'd grown too weak. She'd do as she threatened, there was no doubt about it. She'd make him watch, helpless, as she did to her mother_ _and brother_ _all the things she did to those women before finally having enough and killing_ _them both_ _right before his eyes. He had no other options. Nobody was there to intervene. She'd probably kill whomever dared tried. All that was left was to cooperate with what she wanted. Get it over with. He wasn't even sure he could do what she asked of him. But with the threat of seeing_ _both Hailey and Alec_ _hurt_ _hanging over his head_ _, he was left with few other options at that point. Amy picked up on his defeat, the sneer curling into a broad smile. “Keep that in mind,_ ** _Daddy_** _._ _Do as I ask or watch Hailey an’ Golden Boy die._ _”_

Murdoc's eyes snapped open, every muscle in his body trembling. He let out a shuddering breath, looking around the room in dismay, seeing Hailey sleeping beside him. His stomach twisted, the evening's meal threatening to make a return appearance. He pushed himself from the bed, rushing towards the bathroom. He uttered a gasp, feeling the burn in his throat, but nothing coming through. He leaned against the toilet, the nightmare lingering in the back of his mind, his stomach recoiling again and again. Phantom tremors of fear whispered at him and he perked his head up abruptly, so sure he would see her right there, laughing at him. Of course he was alone. It was just he and Hailey in the house. Groaning, he rested his head against the porcelain bowl of the toilet, closing his eyes against the burn of fresh tears. What kind of man was he to allow such a thing to happen to him? He'd simply given up and did as she asked. Shut himself down and allowed his body to take the reins, difficult as it was most times. The confusion running deeper when he'd realized that almost everything she'd done in those moments was exactly like Hailey. His stomach twisted again, this time the remnants of his past meal finally coming forth. He allowed his body to slowly drop to his knees, arms resting against the toilet bowl. She'd studied them, watched them, knew just what to do and during those nightmarish twenty minutes, could have easily fooled him into thinking it was Hailey had he been blindfolded.

He'd shut down, closing his eyes and simply allowed it all to happen finally, convincing himself to pretend it was Hailey and get it over with. Never mind the voice of reason screaming in the back of his head, the darkness of his closed eyes concealing the reality of who it was panting in his ear. He'd done the unimaginable! Never mind that he'd feared Hailey's safety, Alec's safety and his own life. He could already hear the condemnations from others. _Didn't fight back enough. How could you even do it knowing who it was?_ He couldn't explain. He just did it. What was he supposed to do by that point? She'd have taken it by force and then killed her mother and brother. He did what he did to spare their lives, to spare their final moments being that of pain and unimaginable agony. She'd have made their final moments on this planet as horrific as she could muster, just to press her point. He'd seen what she'd done to the women she'd killed. Knew what she was capable of. His options were pretty fucking slim, now weren't they? The only way he could do any fucking thing was to just shut down and imagine it was his Hailey.

Rising to his feet, he went downstairs to the kitchen, scrubbing the sweat from his unshaven face with a groan. The clock on the wall said it was not quite three in the morning. Nights like this had started to become second nature, even if they were less frequent as of late. The past year had been hell. Other nightmares were vivid replays of that whole fucking mess from start to finish. Waking up so sick to his stomach, he'd nearly vomit on the bed. Other ones often started out innocent enough with him and Hailey tangled together, laughing and enjoying the comfort of one another. But those pleasant dreams always took a nightmarish turn, often ending with Hailey sitting across him, smiling down at him and then a phantom hand coming from behind her, gashing her throat open. Sometimes the nightmares were of good feelings, but never knowing who it was. Confusion setting in because he'd want so badly to enjoy it, but fearful of who it could possibly be on the giving end.

He never told Hailey. Couldn't. Even when it affected their own moments together in the weeks and months that followed. He'd be right in the middle of it, enjoying it all, and then he'd look down and though it registered in his mind that it was quite obviously Hailey beneath him, he'd see _her_. Not like seeing an expression that might mirror the two women, but literally see _her_ fucking face. Hailey had been confused and even a little hurt, but never pressed the issue and for that he was grateful. But it still didn’t change the fact that couldn't tell her. Sometimes he'd claim age, other times he said nothing. Things improved over time, of course, but he had found himself fearing how he'd manage if his performance issues became a long term thing. Christ, he was a man through and through in this area, wasn't he? Internal loathing over not being able to keep his goddamned nob hard. Glad that at least that part no longer was an issue. He was eighty four fucking years old, most men would his age would give their left nut to be able to do even a fraction of what he was capable of.

He dropped himself down into the sofa, savoring the darkness, bottle of whiskey in hand. The rum had been disposed of. He'd never touched it again after that night. He'd allowed himself to let his guard down with her, that much had been plainly obvious. Opened himself up by being in that house alone. Christ, she'd literally caught him with his pants down. Somewhat inebriated and completely oblivious to the danger he’d face, wanking vigorously to one of his and Hailey's numerous adult films. Society would condemn him from that alone. Leaving the front door unlocked, enjoying himself with the bedroom door wide open and enjoying a good hard drink that dulled his senses and reflexes. She'd waltzed right into the bedroom, not even batting an eye at what he'd been doing. That alone should have sent the alarms off in his head. But she'd behaved herself over the last several years, had she not? There'd been no other incident through the years after that moment in his study, which had been at least eight years prior.

It didn’t matter because he'd opened himself up completely. Utterly alone, too old to fight back and cornered. And afterward, when he'd been in the kitchen, fighting a sour stomach and reeling over what had taken place, she'd been there, whispering about a next time. Next time? NEXT TIME? There wouldn't be a fucking next time. He'd fight back until his last breath before there'd ever be a next fucking time! But his voice had come out in a hoarse whisper, the words in his head not the words that passed his lips. “I need you t' leave. Just get out of here. Dun’ come back.” And after she'd gone, he secured the front door and rushed back upstairs, stripping the pajamas off and shucking them aside, showering and changing into different clothing and then proceeding to strip the bed of its sheets and pillow cases. Get rid of it, destroy it all. Shattering the rum bottle into the fire pit in the back, tossing the bedding and the pajamas he'd been wearing into there, igniting it and watching it burn.

He stared at the whiskey bottle, enjoying the bitterness of it on his tongue and throat. Therapy might be in order if these nights didn't stop. But he couldn't fathom saying aloud what had happened or the potential for judgment from even an unbiased third party. The idea that they'd suggest he enjoyed it or hadn't fought back hard enough made his stomach twist again. He'd like to see them in his shoes. Being dragged back across the bed by their hair with the hissed threats of seeing their wife and son tortured and killed unless they did as they were told. Chances were, they would have done the same. Anyone who dared say otherwise was a fucking liar.

He'd be seen as a swine. A despicable and disgusting human being. It wouldn't matter to anyone the events leading to it, he'd done it and that was all there was to it. Scum beneath someone's shoe. Hailey would recoil in disgust if she knew what had happened. Alec would never be able to look him in the eyes. His own mates wouldn’t even be able to look at him the same. He could even face thinly veiled implications that he'd done something to her as a child. Christ, Alec could very well bar him from even being around his grandkids. He'd be seen as a monster unworthy of anyone's trust. Nobody would ever look at him the same again. Slime. Scum. Swine. Never mind Amy's threats. Never mind what she'd become. None of that would matter in the end. He was a man and should have been able to fight her off.

His shoulders slumped, his head bobbed forward as he took another drink from the whiskey bottle. He needed to sort himself out. This wasn't him. He was Murdoc Fucking Niccals, Bass God of the now disbanded Gorillaz. He was Murdoc Fucking Niccals, film musician. Not this withered up old fool sobbing and snotting over a bottle of whiskey. He had to put it from his mind, forget it happened and focus on what was ahead. His wife, his son and partner, his grandson and the new grandkid. All the things his mates were enjoying now. But it was difficult to shake it, to shove it from his mind. Even when he did succeed at not thinking about it for a day, once he was asleep, it haunted and tormented him. Rattled him from the deepest of sleeps. A heavy sigh erupted from him as he pressed the bottle against his cheek, staring down at his feet. A sudden noise from behind him alerted him of another presence. He turned with a dull grunt, seeing Hailey standing a few feet behind him, barely visible in the darkness. White hair hanging loosely at her shoulders, the expression on her gaunt face unseen in the darkness. “Sorry,” he muttered thickly as he set the bottle on the table. “Didn't feel well.”

“It's okay,” she whispered, rounding the sofa and seating herself beside him. “Is everything alright?”

He peered at her face, now just visible enough. Even in the darkness, he could make out the faint glimmer of her eyes. And in spite of how tired they looked, he saw the kindness and lack of judgment that he'd relied on in his darkest hours. He could never tell her, though. It ate away at his insides. But her face was there, swimming in his vision, the soft smile telling him that it would all be okay. Allowing his resolve to break away, he let out a noise, choking back the sob that threatened. She pulled him close, pressing his head into her shoulder, against the soft material of her sleep-clothes, feeling the swell of a breast against his cheek. He could feel tears squeezing through his closed eyes. She was all softness and warmth against him and through the chaos in his head, he could hear her heartbeat. A groan escaped from him as he wrapped his arms around her, crushing her against him as hard as he could. “You’d be gone if you knew,” he whispered, his voice catching.

He could feel her hand in his hair, gently smoothing it back. Feel her breath on his cheek as she pressed her face close. He could even feel the gentle weight of her other hand on his back. Comforts she’d offered him too many times to count. The sound of her voice calming to the turmoil in his head. “It doesn't matter,” she said softly as she pulled him closer. “I'm here.”


	33. Skeletons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: REFERENCED RAPE, REFERENCED ASSAULT

Alec watched everyone around him as the lazy afternoon drifted by. It was warm, it was pleasant and Murdoc wasn’t rattling on and on about needed yard work. Still a cheap old bastard, he was. One would think they’d be used to it by now. Alec cracked a grin as he tipped back his beer and watched the clearing across the yard where Ben, Lexi and Murdoc were tooling around. He wasn't sure what they were doing, but whatever it was, it had Lexi giggling hysterically. The four year old idolized her grandfather and older brother. Followed them around every chance she had, sometimes to Ben’s great annoyance. Alec knew this was to be expected considering the massive age gap between the two. Now nineteen years old, Ben did seem to have a bit more patience with Lexi, but he still had his moments like any other young adult. Wanted his privacy. Didn’t want his time with his mates sabotaged by an invasive preschooler. Hadn’t Lexi barged in on him once when he’d had a girl in his room? Thank the universe she had been too small to understand what she’d been seeing, only two at the time, but it had led to Ben buying a lock for his door to keep her out. Alec had found the entire thing hilarious personally. He’d had no idea that Ben had brought a girl home. He’d been in the lounge watching telly with Tessie on an errand of some kind. Couldn’t remember exactly why Tess hadn’t been there but he knew it had just been him and the kids at home. Until he heard the girl start screaming and Ben storming out with sheets around his waist barking at Lexi to not just let herself in.

Lexi was a small framed tyke with black hair and blue eyes. While Ben and Alec seemed to favor Murdoc as far as looks were concerned, Lexi looked like a dainty version of her mother. Might as well been her clone. Alec had actually enjoyed being present for every aspect of Tessie’s pregnancy, seeing that he’d missed out with Ben. Practically in tears himself when Lexi had been plopped into his arms. Everyone had been at the hospital and Alec had been a wreck through it all because Tess had gone into labor on a Wednesday and Lexi hadn’t been born until Friday. Two days of labor. How the fuck did women do it? Alec still couldn’t grasp it. Tess had been a fucking champ through it all too. He couldn’t quite say the same for himself. Once he’d learned that Lexi was coming, he’d chanced a peek over by the doctors and had instantly regretted it. All fine and dandy until the moment of truth, eh? Murdoc certainly had gotten a great laugh out of that. Apparently he’d been the same way when Alec himself had been born.

Ben attended University and still lived at home, working part time as a delivery driver. The tallest of the Niccals clan, towering over everyoe. This had taken some getting use to. Alec certainly suspected the boy would surpass him in height when he’d realized the lad was as tall as him at fourteen years old, but he hadn’t expected Ben to keep growing, finally stopping when he’d reached six-foot-two. Alec knew he was a short man, even shorter than his own father, but he hadn’t been prepared for this at all. He reasoned it made sense, though. Neither Alec or Nina had been tall people, but his maternal grandparents were tall and Murdoc had mentioned that his father and older brother had been tall blokes as well. Alec and Murdoc just appeared to have snagged the short end of the genetic pool. And there was no telling how Lexi would turn out because Tessie herself was almost five inches taller than Alec.

Alec couldn’t deny that life had been good to him. It just seemed like so much had happened over the last five years. Married now for a few years, father to a nineteen year old and four year old, establishing a good life for him and his family. He was more acutely aware of his age as of late, especially when chasing after Lexi. This often left him wondering how the hell his Dad had done it with him and Amy. The man had been forty-five and over fifty-one when they’d been born and he’d seen plenty of pictures and home videos showing his father chasing both of them around. Christ, Alec’s back hurt from sleeping wrong or moving the wrong way. How the fuck did his Dad do it being over fifty with the shrieking wild thing that had been his younger sister?

His smile fell a bit at the thought of Amy. Her name was still taboo in the house. Sentenced to a lifetime commitment in one of England's high security psychiatric facilities. A commitment center for sex offenders who could never be rehabilitated and assimilated back into society. It baffled him as to how such a monster could have been under his nose like that without him truly knowing it. It was one thing to think a sibling was a bit off, but never had he dreamed that this was what she'd kept hidden from them all. There were still days it didn’t seem real and it had been years now. But because she was such an anomaly to the professionals who studied her, there was no way to escape her face or name in the media. Documentaries were made about her. Her case was even used in various University curriculum in both the UK and even the United States. The FBI even used her case in cadet training for profilers. Professionals still flocked to the facility she was being held in to study her and pick at her brain. And just when they thought her face and name had finally faded into the dust of time, something new would crop up and bring waves of confusion, pain and grief for them all. He imagined it was especially hard for the families of her victims. Everyone wanted to move on from it and it seemed the media refused to allow this.

He frowned as he drained his beer and set it aside. Maybe it made him selfish, but it was easier to just not think about her and focus on his family. Enjoy his children and savor what time he had left with his parents. Their advanced years had slowed them down and it seemed that it had become more obvious over the last few years alone. He could clearly tell that Murdoc was slower as of late. He was no longer able to lift Lexi and more winded when he tried to keep up with her while they played. Complained often of various aches and pains, sometimes walking with a noticeable limp. Hailey struggled getting around, the pain obvious despite the high dose painkillers she'd been prescribed, relying heavily on a walker his father had gotten for her. She’d had another fall not long ago and it appeared to have messed up her bad leg even worse than before. Murdoc had damned near slipped a disc trying to help her back up and in the end had called Alec for help. Alec had tried talking them into selling the cottage or converting the sitting room into a bedroom because he’d become terrified of his parents falling down the stairs. Stubborn old fools, the both of them! In the end, they were willing to compromise when he suggested installing one of those chair lifts on the stairs.

Currently Hailey was over at her garden, kneeling on a plush cushion she'd dragged from the house. Her long white hair was pulled into a loose braid on her back, courtesy of Murdoc, who had to learn how to do it from Tess. She was hidden beneath a massive wide brimmed hat that kept the sun off of her, poking at her garden. His Dad had finally let up being an obnoxious prick regarding the garden and by the next grow season, everything had sprouted and wouldn’t stop. Hailey had been so proud of herself, finally able to grow something after fighting with it for decades and determined to not let it beat her. Of course, she’d had no idea Murdoc was adding his own special ingredient to the dirt, but Alec wasn't about to let his Mum know that. She'd probably snap and kill the old bastard for the nearly three decades of grief he'd caused her. He continued to watch her as she clipped back some of the vegetation and checked on the vines clinging to the haphazardly put together trellis Ben had built for her. Amazing how harmless she looked now.

His attention fell back to the trio in the distance, watching as Lexi climbed over the rocks in her attempt to get up onto Ben's shoulders. Alec had played in that same clearing for years, oblivious to the two things beneath his feet under the dirt. Two things that rotted underground from his parents' hands. Amy had been caught and condemned for the same crimes his own parents had committed. Amy and their Mum could easily share the same darkness, only his Mum had more control over it, driven by different reasons. And his Dad had been the unwilling accomplice for all but one. Dragged into their dark worlds by the balls, pretty much. But the mess with Amy had wounded the man. So drastically changed in the wake of Amy's arrest. You wouldn't really know now just how badly it had all affected him, but there were times when you could see something in his eyes that troubled him. Mum said he didn't always sleep well. Dad blamed age and sometimes even joked it was due to Hailey still being a hellcat between the sheets, much to Alec’s great discomfort. Geezer still loved making you uncomfortable. He’d even done it with Ben a few times and Alec couldn’t deny that it had been entertaining as hell to see someone other than him squirm under Murdoc’s sharp tongue and gutter humor.

Getting to his feet, Alec set the empty bottle onto the table and sauntered over towards the garden, kneeling down beside Hailey in the dirt. “Whatchya growin'?”

“Zucchini,” she muttered as she clipped the leaves off some tall plant. “And tomatoes.”

“You plan on makin' some fried zucchini for supper tonight?” he asked as he dropped onto his rump.

Hailey shrugged, her focus dropping to some odd little vine-like plants. “Only if you cut them. I can't anymore and your Dad never cuts them right. Cuts them too thick.” She peered up at him, a crooked smiling cracking across her face. “He claims it's unnerving and rushes.”

A soft chuckle erupted from him as he shifted a bit in the grass. “Well, as men, cuttin' an'thin' that looks like a nob is unnervin'. You should know this by now, Mum.” He peered across the property, still seeing his Dad, Ben and Lexi in the distance. “How’s that chair lift holdin’ up? Still workin’ for you?”

Hailey nodded, looking up at him from beneath the hat. “If this is gonna be another lecture about us selling the house and moving into a senior development...I’ve got two words to tell you...One of them is _Fuck_ , the other is _Off_.”

He frowned, staring at the plants and dirt in front of them. He knew it was a sensitive matter for them both, but was it so hard for them to admit that they might actually need help? Of course, the idea of losing even an inch of independence was probably a hard pill to swallow for them. “What happens if you take ‘nother fall, Mum? Dad can’t lift you. He can barely haul his own arse ‘round as it is now.”

“I’m not gonna discuss this, Alec,” she said without looking up. “Matter is settled. When _we_ – as in Murdoc and I – decide we can no longer function in our home, then we will be open to discussion. He can still get around and so can I. So I need a bit of help. Not the end of the world. I’m almost eighty, for fuck’s sake. I didn’t think I would still be riding in the sex swing at this age.”

Alec recoiled, uttering a noise of disgust. Seriously? Did she have to bring that blasted thing up? Bad enough he’d found it packed away in a box along with numerous other things he’d rather not remember. “I dun’ need t’ know ‘bout an’ of that, Mum!” he shot back. “I get you an’ Dad want your independence, but movin’ t’ a senior development wouldn’t rob you of it completely...”

“Thin ice, Alec,” she whispered harshly, adjusting her hat. “You don’t break Stu’s balls like this, do you? He’s my age.”

“No, it’s not my place,” Alec shot back. “Not t’ mention he hasn’t fallen several times a’ready.”

Hailey raised herself upright and sat back onto her legs. “No, but he’s had a heart attack, though. And has a pace-maker.” Alec opened his mouth to speak, the words dying at his lips. Okay, so she had a point. Tessie’s father was only a year younger than Hailey and neither he nor Tess had ever considered getting on his ass about a senior development or anything like that. He’d suffered a heart attack a few years ago and had gone through surgery for the pace-maker. He was probably in just as rough of shape as Alec’s parents, but Tessie’s other parent wasn’t over a decade older than Stu and barely able to help him. As far as Alec was concerned, it was apples and oranges. Sensing victory, Hailey uttered a snorting laugh as she bent over the garden to sprinkle more plant food down. “Time to find a new topic.”

“Fine,” Alec muttered. “Since the old man never says an’thin’, how’s he been holdin’ up?”

“He's better,” Hailey said with a small smile. “Having Lexi around makes him feel young and he's glad that he and Ben are on good terms again.” She lifted her head, following Alec's gaze to the clearing, watching as Lexi tried to hop across the rocks. “We were contacted by a documentary film crew last week.”

“Was it ‘bout Amy?” This was probably a stupid question, but there was hope that maybe it would be about Murdoc’s career. He’d had a long and immensely successful career so it wasn’t too far out of reach for someone to approach them about making a documentary about him.

“Who else would it be about?” she asked with a raised eyebrow. Something in her expression changed, the worry settling in as she looked back across the yard. “It went as well as you’d think. He told them not to contact us ever again.”

“He still won't talk 'bout her?” Alec asked in a whisper, looking over at her.

Hailey shook her head, moving her cushion so she could ease her frame back into the grass. “No, and I won't push the issue. I can disagree with how he’s handling it, but that’s about it.” She lit a cigarette, passing her pack over to Alec. “Everyone copes in their own way and for him, it means convincing himself that our Amy disappeared at a young age and was replaced by the monster she’d become.”

Alec frowned, thinking back to what his Dad had said by the creek as he buried that picture. “If you think he’s wrong, then why allow him t' carry on otherwise?”

“Because she hurt him in ways only a few would understand,” she murmured, exhaling smoke through her nose. “He needed a way to come to terms with what had happened and what she'd become. And if this helps him live his life, then who am I to tell him otherwise?” She took a drag from the cigarette, now peering over at him thoughtfully. “Amy did unspeakable things, Alec, but she was still our daughter. He loved her more than words can describe, even if he never said it aloud or showed it much. Her actions were the ultimate mind fuck for him. Made him feel weak, made him feel vulnerable. Exposed the frail old man that he'd become. She betrayed him in the worst way.” Her expression became distant, her eyes glossy with tears as she looked beyond him at the house. “I love her, but I can never forgive her for what she's done.”

“This isn't 'bout the murders, is it?” he asked, lighting a cigarette.

“No, it’s not,” Hailey muttered. Her expression was now mostly unreadable, merely looking at him as if she wanted to say more but couldn’t. “The murders were the tip of the iceberg.”

Alec furrowed his brow, eyes scanning the plants and dirt. He hated when she danced around things but there was something more about this. He stared at her face, seeing eyes that now almost pleaded with him. She wanted to tell him but something stopped her. Had she found out about Murdoc’s hand in helping Amy? Though his father had said it had to do with trying to help her, maybe it had been darker reasons. Maybe Amy had coerced him into it as leverage over his head to keep him compliant? No, she said it herself, it wasn’t about the murders. So if it wasn't about the murders, what else could have possibly happened? He thought back to that night when he and Tessie had forced Amy out of the house. The cold and distant look on his Dad's face. The names he'd called Amy. How something seemed so different about the old man's demeanor when he'd seen him that day. He'd seemed so small and withdrawn, even as he tried to hide it with some of his usual off color humor.

Hailey let out a heavy sigh, her bleary green eyes dropping to the ground. “She’d become something else, that much he was right about. I don’t even know what you could call it.”

Alec stared at her, his mind still trying to piece together what she meant. “You're bein' vague, Mum. I'm not followin'.”

“What more do I need to say to spell it out for you, Alec?” she demanded in a low voice, glancing over at the clearing quickly before reverting her gaze back at Alec’s face. “She showed up at the house when he was here alone, right after he'd finally been released from jail. The day before you and Tess came over. She attacked him. Told him she'd kill me and you both and make him watch if he didn't cooperate.” She sucked in a breath, shaking her head. “He was scared she'd back that threat up and did as she wanted.”

Alec's eyes grew wide, realization dawning on him. There was no way. Was he understanding her right? He could still see Murdoc’s face in those moments. The broken glasses. A mark on his face, something Alec had thought was an age spot. No, it was a bruise. He’d been closed off and cold towards Alec and Tess but they’d assumed it was because of the shit Ben had caused. Fleeting images passed through his mind. No, he didn’t want to see anything like that. Slamming his mind shut, he felt a tremor rippled through his spine, visibly shuddering as he shook his head. “She.....he.....they....?”

Hailey nodded slowly, swallowing loudly. “He was no match against her, Alec. She took full advantage of his age and weakened state. I also have no doubt that she would have followed through with her threats if he refused to cooperate. You heard about what she did to those women...”

“Jesus fuckin' christ, Mum,” Alec breathed, unable to shake the mental images from his mind. “How could you even touch him after knowing this?”

She frowned, her attention back on garden before them. “I found out a year after it took place. I won’t lie...I was sick. I was angry. Furious with him and her.” She adjusted her hat, shaking her head as she stubbed the cigarette out against the grass. “But I remembered how he was in the months after she’d been caught. The sleepless nights. The coldness. It was right in my face and I didn’t recognize it for what it was.”

“Did Dad tell you?” Alec asked in a whisper, stubbing out his cigarette. He couldn’t imagine Murdoc admitting to being so weak he couldn’t fight off an attack, but if his behavior in the wake of it all had disturbed Hailey enough to notice, he may have said something! Or hinted at it perhaps?

Hailey shook her head. “No. Amy's case worker. Amy admitted to what she'd done. They called here to verify Amy's version of it.” She looked over at the clearing again. Alec followed her gaze, watching as Lexi squealed from Ben’s shoulders and Murdoc laughing at them. Hailey uttered a sigh, lighting another cigarette and sitting back into the cushion. “He doesn't know that I know. He was humiliated enough in his life and I wanted to spare him as best I could.”

Alec ran a hand through his greying hair, staring at the old man who was still playing in the clearing with Lexi. He wasn't sure he could ever see his father the same ever again. How could he? Since when did Murdoc cave to threats? He shuddered violently, lighting another cigarette. Good god, what had Amy done to their family? Alec looked over at Hailey, who was now looking directly at him. Age had taken so much from them both, but Amy had taken so much more from their father. He’d felt it then, even if he’d dismissed it at the time. Everything about Murdoc’s demeanor and even the fucking house had screamed something horrific had happened. Something else dawned on him, something he hadn’t thought much about since it had happened. That phone call that Hailey had been on. He could still see her pale and stricken face, hear the emotion and rage that colored her tone over the phone. The growled refusals to put Murdoc on the line. “That was the phone call you got that day, wasn't it?”

“It was. Shitty way to find out, yeah?” she said with a bitter laugh. “I wasn't about to put him on the phone and have to relive that hell, Alec. The case worker told me what Amy had told them, and that was that she'd threatened him and forced him. It didn’t change the fact that I’d become so angry at him, but once I’d had a chance to sort through the shock, I realized the only one I could be mad at was Amy.”

“Why even admit t’ it?” he asked. “Why not just take it 't her grave?” It was a legitimate question, right? Why admit to it? Why tell anyone? Or had it been discovered during the course of their study of her. Maybe something she’d let slip? “How in the hell did the social worker find out about this?”

Hailey shook her head, frowning at the grass. “She admitted to it only because she felt she had no choice. They needed Murdoc to submit to a DNA test and consider as a placement option.....” Her jaw clenched and Alec could see the shimmer of tears on her cheek. “I wasn't about to tell him what had happened. And hell was going to freeze over before I allowed _that thing_ in my house.” She peered up at Alec with glossy eyes, her lower lip trembling. He could see the rage and blatant disgust on her face even as she took a deep breath and tried to collect herself. “Look what this had done to him, Alec. What do you think woulda happened if he’d discovered what Amy’s attack had produced? He doesn't know and he will never know.”

Alec glanced back over at the clearing, unable to wrap his mind around what she was more or less saying. And he had no idea? She'd kept this information from him all these years? “Did the social workers suspect? How did they get that information outa her?”

“Internal issues,” she muttered. “Heart problems and other organ issues. Apparently a byproduct of what it was. Doctors suspected based on all the issues it was having. And the fact that Amy wanted it placed with us and not in foster care. Fucking delusional.”

“Where is it now?” he asked in a low voice.

“Dead,” she said in a stony voice. “Passed away a few months after they called me. Spent its short life in a foster home. The social workers never pushed getting paternity verified. Given the issues it had and the fact that Amy's only recent contact with a man had been with...well, you know.” She paused a moment, taking a deep breath. “Buried in a paupers grave. I don't even know the gender.” She wiped at her eyes, sniffing loudly. “That secret died with it. I am not asking you, Alec, but I'm telling you: do not tell your Dad. He is never to know. I cannot burden him with that. He has dealt with enough self loathing as it is over what had taken place.”

Every part of him felt numb. He slowly lifted his head, staring across the clearing at his father, seeing something different. So hard to really comprehend what had happened. And how Mum could accept him back and even keep the bigger secret hidden. Why hadn't social services pushed to get in contact with him? Why let Mum stonewall them? Something like that would surely have been investigated, right? Of course, maybe they decided to brush it under the rug and not burden an old man with something too horrible to come to terms with. Easier to simply give it a comfortable home for a short period of time. “You're a stronger person than me,” he muttered, pushing himself to his feet and extending his hand. “I dun' even want t' know how he was able t' do that....”

“Well, neither did I, but I got the gory details,” she said, grabbing his hand and allowing him to pull her up. “I know that he wanted no part of it. I know that it was difficult for him....” She turned towards the house, gesturing for Alec to follow. “All I kept thinking at that point was that we've had so much thrown at us through the years and this was the blow that almost broke us.”

Alec followed behind her, hands stuffed in his jean pockets. “Reckon you’re right. A’ready had so much tossed your way. What happened t’ me. My physical issues an’ the seizures. An’ I know you both were still kinda learnin’ ‘bout one ‘nother...coulda easily decided t’ call it quits with that ‘lone, but you didn’t. That’s gotta count for somethin’, yeah?”

“Perhaps,” Hailey said as she pulled open the French doors. “We used to like to joke that we’re stuck together because nobody else in their right mind could put up with our bullshit.” She paused just in the entryway to the kitchen, taking a breath. “We weren’t perfect, Alec. Messed up a lot along the way.” A strange strained laugh escaped from her as she wandered into the kitchen and opened up the icebox. “We were shitty to each other, shitty as parents. Everything the universe threw at us was handled poorly one way or another.”

“You weren’t shitty parents,” he protested. “You were both ill-prepared an' still learnin’! You got pregnant with me within days of meetin’ each other, Mum, an’ you still stuck it out t’gether when ever’one else woulda thrown in the towel.”

“Christ, Alec, you're naïve,” she laughed. “We're almost toxic for one another. He's an ass and I'm a bitch. We mesh well most of the time, I suppose. Now we're both so fucking old, we don't give a shit anymore. I love him to pieces, don't get me wrong, but it took a lot of years to see what was worth loving inside him. I'm sure it's the same for him with me. We were thrown together through circumstance. Barely knew one another and here we were, expected to work together and raise a kid together. Doomed almost from the start!”

“Obviously you saw somethin' there that made it worth stickin' it out together,” Alec said, staring at her as she grabbed two beers and passed him one. He uncapped his, taking a drink. “You said it yourself, Mum. Look at all the thins' you an' Dad had thrown your way. I have mates whose parents divorced over less. I think the fact that Dad remained faithful is astoundin', personally, given what he was like when you met.”

“Oh, dun' think he hasn't fucked around,” she chuckled, leaning against the counters. “He has. A few times in our early years together. But in his defense, we were dealing with a lot of shit that put us both on edge. It was around the time when your disabilities had become more prevalent, he was still struggling to meet deadlines with some film tracks and we both were on two different pages on how we should handle those things. Fighting so much, he would just leave for the pub most of the week. I knew what he was doing, I wasn't stupid.”

Alec choked against his beer. Okay, this was definitely news to him. “When did this happen? The only thin' I remember – an' barely remember at that – was the issue with that woman who had come forward with a kid.”

Using the bottle opener, she uncapped her own bottle. “You were maybe five or six, so you wouldn't remember. It was like we couldn't stand each other, but couldn't be away from each other. Fighting more, arguing over the dumbest of things. He acted stupidly and in retaliation, I acted stupidly.” She took a drink, grimacing at the bottle. “It was dumb. We were being childish.”

“So you did the same t' Dad?” Alec asked. “Decided t' give him a taste of his own medicine?” This was certainly a revelation. Murdoc straying wasn’t such a reach, but Hailey? It seemed like such a foreign concept. He knew they’d struggled when his disabilities had become more prevalent, but why stick it out if both were moving in separate directions? This made no sense to him. She’d said it herself, right? They were toxic together. Could this be why Amy ended up as she was? Had his disabilities shielded him from it all? They’d been hyper-focused on him enough that he probably would never have known things were on thin ice with them.

“I did,” she said, dragging him from his wandering thoughts. “Petty, yes, but he needed to know how it felt. I went out, I had dinner, I danced and within hours, we were in a bed at a hotel down the road from where we'd been.”

“You went on a date?” he asked with raised eyebrows. “Was it someone you knew?” As soon as the question passed his lips, he regretted asking. That was personal. Even with the information his mother was sharing, if she was going to tell him who the person was, she would tell him. He normally didn’t pry like this but his curiosity was piqued. His understanding of the dynamics of his parents’ relationship was based off what he saw after he woke up from the coma and he’d obviously incorrectly assumed this was how it always had been.

“He was someone _we_ knew,” she said in a matter of fact tone. “He and Murdoc had worked together once a while back. He was always pretty busy, so we didn’t see him often. When Murdoc started ditching the house to be with whomever he was with, I spent time with the friend. Maybe he had the same intentions, maybe not, but it did happen. After everything was said and done, I’d felt like shit.” A strange laugh escaped from her, her eyes on him. “Couldn’t understand how Murdoc was able to do it. And I couldn’t believe his actions had me sinking that fucking low in an effort to get back at him. Strangely enough, it also made me realize that I did hold a great deal of affection for your father, even if he was being a cunt at the time. I chose the man because he was your father’s friend, a man he trusted. And you know how your Dad is when it comes to trusting people.” She glanced over at Alec, seeing him nod. “We agreed it was a mistake and never spoke of it. But it made for a few awkward get togethers with him and his wife, that's for sure.”

“Does Dad know who it was?” Alec asked, setting his beer aside. She had to assume he would ask this. She’d admitted to picking someone purely due to his connection to Murdoc. No way she could keep something like that under wraps, especially if the man had still been a fixture in their lives. Another thing nagged at him, though, something still blurry and somewhat vague. The incident with that woman and child. He’d been a teenager, right? And he remembered how broken his mother had seemed in the wake of all that. So why fuck with each other like that only to get mad about it years later? “I dun' understand....when that woman an' kid came forward, you were furious. You were hurt. How was this any different?”

“As far as I know, he doesn’t know who it was,” she said with a small shrug, sitting herself down at the kitchen table. “But finding out I’d done the same was the wake up call we needed. We both realized we were acting ridiculous and needed to set some boundaries. He was hurt, but I think that made him realize how his actions had made me feel. We both agreed that if we were going to make this work, we needed to be on the same page about things. No more finding it elsewhere. No more freaking out at each other and running from the problem. That woman claimed they’d been together several years after we’d discussed and laid out ground rules. After we'd both swore to one another that this would not happen again.” She took another drink from her beer, pulling out a battered pack of cigarettes. “I chose a piss poor time to act like an ass, though. We found out about the pregnancy with Amy three weeks later.”

Alec uttered a noise, almost dropping his beer. “Wait....what? You thought Amy wasn’t Dad’s?”

“The timing wasn’t exactly spectacular,” Hailey said with a shrug of her shoulders. “There was doubt and questions for a while. I was a nervous wreck through the entire pregnancy. There was definitely some anxiety on his part but he was supportive and was quite convinced that it was his doing.” She let out chuckle, lighting a cigarette. “We were told that you'd most likely be an only child, that the chances of having another were slim, if at all. He was more disappointed about this revelation than I was, so when we found out about Amy, he was ecstatic. Honestly, I think even if she hadn't been his, he wouldn't have cared. Any doubt of her paternity vanished by the time she was a few months old. It was pretty obvious who her father was.”

“Fuckin' hell, just when I think I know you two,” Alec breathed. “You're both at what was the rockiest point of your marriage an' still tryin' t' work thins' out, find out you're pregnant – possibly by 'nother man – an' instead of freakin' out an' worryin', Dad's the happiest man on earth.”

“Stupid as it sounds, he felt he had home field advantage. What happened between me and the friend was only a one night kinda thing. After our talk, your Dad and I spent a lot of time making up to one another in the weeks after. You spent a lot of time with Stu and Noodle.” She chuckled softly, taking in Alec's still surprised expression. “The point is that like everything else, we worked past it all. We both acknowledged that we had been stupid and childish and needed to stop.”

“An' Dad never found out who it was?” he asked. “He was even in the house an' Dad never figured it out?” This just didn't seem possible, really. Murdoc had a way of being able to read people pretty well and yet someone he thought of as a friend and his own wife were able to keep their indiscretion under wraps? It also was a bit low on Mum's end. Allowing the other man in the house like that, poor Dad none the wiser. “I just can't see that.....”

“If he suspected, he never said anything.” She turned her attention to the icebox, opening it up and pulling food out. “He knew we spent time together. Hated it. It wasn't like we hung out all the time, though. I think, if anything, it drove your Dad mental because he felt excluded.”

“Where is this friend now?” he asked, glancing outside and seeing Murdoc and the kids starting to make their way across the property. Probably best to wrap this conversation up.

“Gone,” she muttered, her attention on some bell peppers. “He passed away a few years back. Murdoc and I attended the funeral.” She froze when she heard the French doors open, Murdoc's voice carrying through the living room, barking at Ben to take his shoes off. Frowning over her shoulder, she dropped her voice to a whisper. “You remember, we were out of town that whole week.”

He remembered when they took the trip to attend the funeral. It was that weird old tosser his Dad used to jam out with in the studio. His parents had a painting the man had done, something he’d painted as a birthday gift for Hailey. A sketch of Alec, Hailey and Murdoc, something the man had drawn during one of the last visits before Alec had been hurt. Though vague and hazy, Alec realized he actually remembered a few visits when he’d been just a kid. They didn't visit often, just like Mum said, but it had always been a bit of a big deal when they visited. The house filled with cigarette smoke, free flowing alcohol and laughter. Talk of different art galleries and upcoming music festivals they were all thinking of attending. The visits had been a big deal for Murdoc. This had been a man he respected and saw as a friend. Christ, how awkward it must have been for his mother and that man. Knowing one another on such an intimate level and never acknowledging it or saying it aloud. Keeping the secret between them. But Mum was right in regards to his Dad. He was very particular with who he trusted and if he'd found out someone he'd considered a friend had fucked his wife, regardless of the reasons behind it or his own ass-hattery, he'd have blown a blood vessel.

Hailey glanced over at Alec, winking at him before returning her attention to the vegetables she’d laid out across the counters. Alec wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do with all this information or why his mother decided now was the day to share it, but it put some things into perspective. About his parents, about Amy. Realizing things between Hailey and Murdoc were a lot more complex than many realized. Sticking it out when it would have been healthier to simply walk away. Part of him entertained the idea that maybe this was why Amy had become so fucked up. What other explanation was there? He may have very well been spared due to the coma and having no memory of things outside of a few scattered images and events. His father had confessed to helping his mother kill two people. His mother confessed to numerous issues through their marriage, confessed to a horrific crime his sister would never be held accountable for and hiding what had come from that crime because she loved his father enough to spare him further humiliation.

The coma had spared him, hadn’t it? How the hell else could Alec had come through all of this and still be normal? This entire family had been one massive trainwreck waiting to happen and he had no idea because he couldn’t remember any of it. But there was love there. He could see it. He’d felt it. Seen it in those moments he’d caught his parents simply standing there, arms around each other, not speaking a word. Seen it in moments when his father merely wanted comfort and his mother had given it without question. Even with all their flaws and quirks, they did love each other. There was no denying that. Why did he feel so confused about it all now? Looking at his parents now, they were like any other elderly couple making the best of their final years together, neither of them caring about their flaws or past transgressions.

Final years....sounds so morbid. What else could it be at this point? His mom was seventy-eight, his father eighty-nine. They might live another decade or die within a few years. He didn’t like thinking about it but he had to be realistic. Mortality was rearing its ugly head at them all. Even Tessie’s parents, when you got right down to it. Stu and Hailey were around the same age and Noodle was well into her mid sixties. It wouldn’t be long before it was just Alec, Tess and the kids. He shook his head, not wanting to think about it all now. Enjoy what time they all had left. Allow his parents to enjoy their grandchildren. Allow his father the dignity to live out the rest of his life without such a horrid shadow hanging over him. Look at how he was with Lexi. How he was with Ben when Ben was small. He adored those kids. Would do anything for them. Alec’s thoughts tumbled to a stop. _Do anything for them_. For all his flaws and weird complexities of his relationship with Hailey, he’d loved them and wanted to protect them. Sacrificed himself to protect Alec and Hailey from the monster Amy had become.

From the lounge, Alec could hear more chatter followed by Ben's own gruff and gravely voice barking back at Murdoc about how he was taking his shoes off and to quit being an overbearing twat about it. Life back to normal, or as normal as it could be right? Lexi was chattering away about finding some obscenely huge beetle they'd found under a rock and how Ben had screamed like a girl when she threw it at him. Alec laughed loudly, moving in to where Hailey stood. “I'll take it from here, Mum,” he said softly, taking the knife and bell peppers.

With everything finally chopped, mixed and simmering, Alec escaped outside to the patio, lighting a cigarette. His head was swimming with all the information he’d learned. Why his mother decided to throw this into his lap now, he didn’t know, but he was actually kind of glad she’d told him. He knew his parents had been strong people, understood that such strength was necessary to get through the things they’d experienced in their youth. But they were still human and that strength could only go so far. They’d successfully kept up the facade of a normal family with a few weird quirks, a facade Alec had come to believe for years until Murdoc had pulled some of that layer back and exposed the darkness beneath. A glimpse, nothing more. His mother had ripped the entire layer back and exposed much more than he’d bargained for. What else would be revealed over time? He glanced over his shoulder, seeing them both in the kitchen, his Dad with his arms around his Mum, head resting against hers as he tried to reach around her and pick a bite from the simmering food. Nothing there that looked any different than the last time he’d seen them like that, only now it was colored by what he’d learned.

“You're too good for your own good, you know that?” Hailey said, appearing beside him suddenly. “I know what you're thinking. How can someone so normal come from such a fucked up family. Am I right?”

“Yeah, reckon so,” he said, dropping into one of the patio chairs. “I'm bein' honest here, Mum, but I can't say I can ever see you two the same 'gain. I dun' understand how you two work. How you could do the thins' you've done an' still be together.”

Hailey slowly eased her frame into the chair beside him. “I wish I could say we were young and stupid, but we weren't. Immature and selfish, perhaps. As for the whole Amy issue, the blame lies with her and her alone. Had the tables been turned and it had been a man threatening an elderly woman, nobody would think twice about calling it was it was.....”

Sighing, he scrubbed his hands across his bearded face. “I can’t say I’m comfortable hidin’ somethin’ like this from Dad. Dun’ you think he has a right t’ know?”

“Would you want to know and live with that or try to move forward and put it behind you?” she asked in a low voice, eyebrows raised. “You’re free to disagree with me, Alec, but you didn’t have to see what that did to him. He was fucking traumatized by what happened. If he’d known what came of it, it would have shattered him.”

“Just doesn’t feel right,” he muttered, looking back at the house to make sure Murdoc wasn’t in earshot. “I know you mean well, but part of me feels he had a right t’ know.”

“I guess that will be between me and whatever god exists,” she said with a shrug. “Look, I’m only telling you all of this because I know neither of us have much time left and I don’t want you shitting yourself when you find documents and other shit when going through the estate or whatever. Would rather you hear it from me now and save the shock when you and the lawyer are going over final wills and shit.”

“How in the hell did I end up normal?” he asked in an exasperated tone.

Hailey's brow furrowed, her mouth going taut. “Be glad you are. It means we did something right for fucking once. It means we weren't complete fuck ups.”


	34. Dream of You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH
> 
> Sappy shit ahoy

The house was silent save for the hushed voices and sounds of shuffling paper coming from the kitchen. At the head of the table sat the solicitor, a middle aged man with greying blond hair. Pursing his lips as he carefully sifted through the stacks of paperwork and folders. Occasionally his eyes would surface from the paperwork, glancing over at the two men who flanked him. Alec looked tired, his eyes red and puffy from what was most likely tears and lack of sleep, his greying hair swept back off his face and exposing the start of a receding hairline. The solicitor shifted his gaze to Murdoc, old man seated directly across from Alec. In all honestly, when Murdoc and Hailey had gone to the lawyer to get some legal paperwork done, Murdoc expected that he’d be the first to kick it. He had over a decade on Hailey and his own health had started to decline over the last few years. He felt distracted and not completely there, his attention on his coffee and cigarette, bleary dark eyes looking as lost as his son. The lawyer returned his focus back to the paperwork, a thin imitation of a sympathetic smile on his face. “Basically, unless she’d specified differently, ever'thin' transfers t' you, Murdoc, unless you cannot accept it for whatever reason.” He looked over at Alec. “If your father is unable t' function with this duty, then it transfers t' you.”

Murdoc let out a rough cough, shaking his head. “Sorry, mates, but I can't do this right now,” he muttered as he shakily got to his feet. “Her side of the bed isn't even cold yet an' here we are goin' over shit an' figurin' out who gets what like a couple of vultures.” Leaving the kitchen, he went to the lounge, raking a hand through his thinning white hair. He couldn't do this. It just didn't feel right. He knew Hailey had made clear what she wanted given to Alec, Ben and Lexi, but he just couldn't. It solidified the reality that she was gone. _Really_ gone. He wasn't ready to face that yet. Not even when he'd stared at her still and lifeless form in the casket during the viewing, before her body had been taken to the crematorium. Not even when he'd reached out to smooth her hair back, thinking absently that she was so cold beneath his fingers did it fully register that she was gone and he was alone. It didn’t feel real. Even now, knowing her remains now lay in small marble urn out in the lounge, it didn’t feel real to him. Even with her wedding band hanging from a simple silver chain around his neck and beneath his shirt did it feel real. He felt unsorted and lost.

At least it had been peaceful for her, he reasoned, thinking back to when he'd found her. She'd simply laid down on the sofa to watch the telly while he prepared coffee and breakfast. He’d taken up a lot of the various duties around the house because Hailey had no longer been able to do them. Tidying up, running the vacuum, making their food. The morning had started like any other morning. Waking up and heading downstairs. Sitting at the kitchen table to have their coffee, read their papers and magazines, chat about whatever and then she’d gone to claim the sofa while he prepared breakfast. He’d come out ten minutes later with their plates, freezing at the sofa and noting the stillness of her body. Maybe it had been shock or perhaps even knowing that they were both on borrowed time, but he didn't react as strongly then as he'd always thought he would. He'd knelt down, nudged her, said her name. There had been only a dull realization that she was gone. Not a single tear shed as he sat beside her, resting her head into his lap as he stroked her hair. Silent as he smoothed the fragile white strands from her face, allowing his fingers to move over the soft and dry skin, wanting to memorize as much of it as he could. Staring down at half mast green eyes that had turned clouded in her advanced years and failing eyesight.

Murdoc paused a moment, taking a breath. He had to be suffering a delayed reaction. Well over a week had passed and he was finally starting to crack, feeling his eyes burn and his throat tighten. He needed to keep the game face, get the rest of this mess over with. The lawyer bloke had arrived to go over her will and other final wishes. Not that there was much to go over, really. Legally, it fell onto him outside of a few small things she'd wanted given to Alec, Ben and Lexi. He had to wonder what a fifty-three year old man would want with her action figure collection, but whatever. What did he know anyway? He would have boxed them up and put them into the attic, so perhaps it was best that Alec took them. Honestly, he just wanted the lawyer gone. Let him and Alec go over things.

“Dad,” came Alec's voice from the kitchen, “if this is too soon, we can 'range t' have him come back.”

Murdoc shook his head. “Just get on with it. He's here, might as well.”

The lawyer flashed another plastic smile, watching as Murdoc reclaimed his seat. They went over some financials, Murdoc discovering that Hailey still had that separate account back in the states and had been socking money into it here and there. Worth over a million now. Murdoc almost choked on his coffee when the lawyer read off the exact numbers. He'd forgotten about that account. She'd mentioned it in passing decades ago, the account she had before they'd met. Most of the money in it was to be transferred to a specific account set up there at home and then another account she’d set up for Alec and Tessie completely unbeknownst to him. Murdoc was to receive a small chunk of the money, too. He didn't need it. Let the boy and his family have it. They needed it more than he did. Between royalties, investments, memorabilia and whatever else there was, he was worth a fortune himself. And Alec and Ben would inherit all of that upon his own passing.

“There's one other thin',” the solicitor said, looking at them both in confusion. “Is there a daughter? I thought this meeting would be with all the immediate family?” Murdoc furrowed his brow, looking at Alec in confusion. Alec apparently was lost too, shrugging his shoulders. The lawyer turned his attention to the paper. “It states that she wants money sent t' a commissary account set up for an Amy Lee Niccals. Nothin' more.”

“No,” Murdoc snapped. “That has t' be a mistake. Amy was disowned from the family a'most twenty years 'go. We haven't spoken t' her since.”

“Where is Miss Niccals?” the lawyer asked. “This is dated just a few years 'go.”

“She's at Rampton an' that's where she'll remain,” Alec said bitterly, lighting a cigarette. He looked across the table at Murdoc, who was now staring at polished surface, his cigarette burning between his knarled fingers. “We can't fight it, Dad. I know you dun' want t' hear her name, but Mum obviously felt this was necessary.”

“I'm not gonna fight it, Alec,” Murdoc whispered. “I just dunno how t' handle this. All these years she never said a word 'bout Amy, let me carry on an' agreed t' never speak her name. An' I find out she was sockin' money 'way t' give t' her?” Maybe he would have handled it better if she'd told him her plans. He could fight it if he really wanted to, but was that something he really wanted? He'd probably die before it would get settled anyway and then she'd get the money as Hailey wanted. Why go against her wishes? Hailey clearly had her reasons, even if he didn’t understand them. The whole mother’s love thing? He knew she’d kept a few pictures of Amy tucked away in a journal. Though looking at the photos had made his stomach recoil, he’d never questioned Hailey’s motives for keeping them or demand she dispose of them.

The lawyer stowed the paperwork back into his briefcase, slowly getting to his feet. “I'll get the rest of the paperwork in order an' get the processes started. I'll contact you both when I need t' come back for signatures or an'thin'.”

Alec stood up, walking the man to the door. “Thanks, mate. We'll be in touch.” Closing the door, he slowly ventured into the lounge and seated himself beside Murdoc on the sofa. “Tessie an' Lexi will be here soon, Dad,” he said, still cradling his mug of coffee. “An' Ben's comin' from up north. He just has a few thins' t' wrap up at work an' home.”

“Good,” Murdoc muttered gruffly, only vaguely hearing him. He looked around the lounge, dully noting all the little things that told of Hailey's presence. The photos, the oddball figurines, the atrocious throw blanket on the sofa, some ugly fucking thing she’d found at a flea market several years back. Bright yellow and gaudy as hell. He smiled without realizing it, feeling the dull burn of more tears. She loved yellow. He didn’t get it because he’d always thought it a tacky color, but it was just one of her weird little quirks that he’d adored, even if it meant staring at the weird and tacky shit she brought home. “Should probably downsize a bit...have too much shit here. You lot should take it.”

Alec made a noise, staring at the old man. “Like what? Ever'thin' in this house has a purpose. An' dun' you dare think that wipin' Mum's memory outa this house is gonna fly.”

“I'm not doin' any such thin',” Murdoc said sharply. “But there's a lot of shit in this house. I know she'd want you, Ben an' the girls t' have them.” He erupted into a heavy sigh, setting the mug down onto the table. “No coaster. Your Mum bitched up a storm 'bout the coaster thin'.” He cracked a smile, slowly getting to his feet. “We have a lot of stuff here that's worth a great deal of money, Alec.”

“I know that,” Alec said, rising from the sofa and following him. “You worked with a lot of legends, Dad. You've accumulated a lot of thins' from all the work you've done.”

“Not all of it is mine 'lone,” he said, leading Alec towards the stairs. “Hailey had thins' too. Stuff she got from mates an' all.” He erupted into a chuckle as they reached the top of the stairs. “I remember when she got t' meet some of the mates I worked with. Shoulda seen her, Alec, scared outa her mind. It was pretty bloody comical, actually.”

“Probably overwhelmin' for her, Dad,” Alec laughed as they walked down the narrow hallway towards the master bedroom. “You an' all your mates were part of a world most normal folks only dream of.”

“Eugh....I s'pose,” Murdoc muttered with a shrug. “She got t' meet the musicians backstage when we did the concert in her home city. You could tell she was nervous. Cass took a snap of her, I believe. It's 'round somewhere.” He paused at the doorway, smiling, his eyes downcast. “She was so down t' earth, Alec. Didn't treat me with kid gloves like all the other birds, only wanting their five minutes.” He blinked, staring over at Alec. “I wasn't Murdoc Niccals, world famous bassist of Gorillaz. I was Murdoc Niccals, your average guy from Stoke with big dreams an' far too many troubles.”

“Mum had her own troubles,” Alec said, flashing a smile. “Maybe that's what brought you two together?”

“It was the hot sex,” he cackled, venturing into the room. “But 'side from that, after I had a chance t' chat with her a bit, I realized there was somethin' 'bout her I liked. She was different, ya know? I could talk t' her an' she'd listen. A'ways insisted I didn't need an'one an' suddenly I realized that maybe I did. I'm sure I coulda found it with someone else eventually, but I realized that she offered somethin' I needed an' wanted an' I wasn't 'bout t' let that slip through m’ fingers like ever'thin' else I screwed up.” Murdoc paused by the walk in closet, staring at a painting on the wall. “I dun' have much time left m'self, Alec. The cough is gettin' too bad. Hurts t' breathe some days. I know I'm on borrowed time.” He gestured towards the painting. “We have a lot of valuables. Personal valuables. Thins' that are worth more than this house. An' I'll be damned if they get auctioned off t' some snob collector when I die.”

He could tell by the look on Alec’s face that this wasn’t a conversation he was ready to have. Not so close on the heels of losing his mother. But Murdoc felt it was still a necessary one. He was up there in his years, ninety-eight years old already. He had a nasty cough he couldn’t shake, a cough that sometimes stained his handkerchiefs red. He was slower, more tired as of late. Walked with a limp due to throwing out his knee out in the yard. Mortality was rearing its ugly head and it made Murdoc very aware of the fact that he was on borrowed time. Months, if that. Would Alec be prepared for that day? He'd barely held it together when he'd received the call that Hailey had passed. Murdoc uttered a sigh, returning his focus to the painting in his hands. Something oddly simple. A pencil sketch of sorts colored with watercolors. The three of them together, Alec on Murdoc’s shoulders with Hailey standing next to them smiling.

Alec examined the painting carefully. “This was a birthday gift for Mum, yeah?”

“It was. Painted by an old mate of mine. He was quirky like that. Loved music an' could play like a demon, but art was his first love.” Murdoc reached up, taking the painting down from the wall. “He did the sketch from memory. One of his last visits before you got hurt. I guess it sat unfinished for a few years but he finished it up an' gave it t' Hailey for her birthday.” Murdoc passed the painting towards Alec. “You take it. I have no need for it.”

Alec stared at the painting, his eyes surfacing to meet his Dad's gaze. “I can't....Dad, this is special.”

“You have no idea what I associate that bloody thin' with,” Murdoc grumbled. “Your Mum adored the fuckin' thin'. My feelins' aside, it's worth a fuckin' fortune. The old bastard who painted that is dead an' gone. This is one of only a few personal works he did for friends that are unaccounted for. Most of his paintins' were auctioned off. Albarn had a few too, I believe. They're worth somethin' because of who painted them an' who is in the picture.”

“I dun' get it,” Alec said, looking the painting over. “You hated it? It's well done. I can totally see Mum in this. Captured the smile a'most perfectly. Even your crooked ol' grin.”

“He an' I got in t' a row 'bout some bullshit an' thins' were a bit tense afterwards,” Murdoc said, lighting a fresh cigarette. “We managed because we were mates, but it was difficult even at the best of times. I refused t' let it go, even though I kept tellin' myself I needed t'.”

Alec glanced down at the signature, scanning the scribble carefully. He made a weird noise before looking over at Murdoc. “Holy hell, you knew?”

Murdoc frowned, staring at Alec with narrowing dark eyes. Old fears and anger surfaced, remembering how betrayed he’d felt upon realizing what had happened between the man and Hailey. There was no way Alec would have remembered this, he’d been just a little dude. Unless it wasn’t just a one time thing like Hailey had insisted. “What do you know 'bout it, boy? You were just a tot when it all happened.” His face paled, lips trembling as his voice came out in a cracked whisper. “It wasn't a continuous thin', was it?”

“No,” Alec said, shaking his head. “Mum told me. A while back. But she said you didn't know who.”

“I knew,” Murdoc muttered in a matter of fact tone. “I had hoped I was wrong an' just assumin' shit, but when I confronted him, he admitted t' it.” A heavy sigh escaped from him, his expression distant. “It's not somethin' I feel like gettin' in t' right now. We all moved past it. Well, tried an'ways. Wasn't quite the same between us all afterward. An' that fuckin' paintin' was like salt ever’ time I laid eyes on it. I know he meant well an' I know that he'd been workin' on it before all that mess, but it represented something I wanted t' forget.”

“It's a sweet paintin',” Alec whispered, turning it over. “He obviously cared 'nough t' do this. I mean, it's all of us. Before thins' got bad....”

“I know,” Murdoc muttered. “Sappy fucker.” Huffing loudly, he moved around Alec and towards the shelf that held some of the collectibles. “You want her anime shit? Or do you think Ben will want it?” He didn't want to continue the conversation about the painting. It brought nothing but long forgotten hurt and anger. Forgiveness had not come easily and he had struggled with it for years. He wanted to forgive and forget. Made every effort to get on with things and try to get back to their normal. But every time that man visited, every time his gaze fell onto that painting, it would bring him back to square one. How often had he picked arguments with his old mate, throwing his crime into his face even when they were both rotten old tossers who could barely throw a swing at one another? Easier to harbor that bitterness instead of acknowledging is own hand in it. Easier than admitting he'd fucked up and the whole mess would never have happened if he hadn't been an arse.

Grumbling under his breath, he found himself staring at the four shelves full figurines and action figures, smiling at the two in particular that stuck fast in his memory. The robot girl and that vampire assassin. He remembered seeing them on a shelf in her bedroom when they'd first met in Seattle. The figures had been left behind when she moved out of Seattle and he’d always felt a weird little twinge of guilt for that because he knew how much her collectibles had meant to her. Never able to reclaim the two left behind, he’d ended up locating some online and had ordered them for one of her birthdays. They might not have been her cherished first two figures, but she’d still loved the replacements and had displayed them proudly on the shelf he’d built in the corner of their bedroom for them. She’d continued to buy her collectible figures well into her senior years and the shelf was filled with every kind of figure imaginable. Action figures from that zombie drama she and Alec had loved. Figures of horror movie monsters she’d been a fan of. She even had a full size Chucky doll floating around somewhere, right? He erupted into a rumbled chuckle as he set the figures back onto the shelf. Christ, he was an arse, wasn't he? Unable to move on and forgive his mate, but so quick to think about all the things about Hailey that brought a smile to his face even though she'd been just as much a guilty party.

“If you dun' wanna keep them, I can take them an' give them t' Ben.” Alec peered over Murdoc's shoulder at the numerous figurines. “He loves that rubbish.” Reaching out, Alec picked up the Armitage figurine, looking it over. “This one's old.”

“She’d owned versions of those even before we met,” Murdoc muttered, pulling an empty box out of the closet. “Same with the creepy bloke in the red trench-coat.” He gestured towards the painting still in Alec's hand. “You're gonna take it, yeah? I dun' want it here an'more, but it was special t' your Mum an' that's the only thin' stoppin' me from tossin' it in the rubbish container or havin' it auctioned off.”

Alec nodded, picking up another figurine. “If you really want it gone, I'll take it.” He watched as Murdoc shoved the figurines into the box. “So what do you plan t' do now, Dad? Not sure I'm comfortable leavin' you 'lone in this big ol' house.”

“If you think you're puttin' me in bloody old folks home, I'll kick your narrow arse,” Murdoc hissed, setting the box of collectibles onto the bed. “I'm not leavin' the house.”

“I'm talkin' 'bout havin' me, Tess an' Lexi movin' in,” Alec said sharply. “Give you a hand 'round here.”

Murdoc shook his head. “I've been runnin' this house just fine for the last few years. Who do you think kept this place afloat after your Mum got too ill t' do it? Sure as hell wasn't a fuckin' nurse maid.” He glanced over at Alec, who was staring back at him. He looked confused and unsure of himself. Uttering a sigh, Murdoc reach out, patting Alec's shoulder. “If you lot insist on comin' here an' takin' up space, knock yourselves out.” No point in fighting it, right? Alec meant well and he could be as hard headed about things as both Murdoc and Hailey. Murdoc didn't need any help. He'd been the one who cleaned, cooked their meals and helped Hailey with her own needs when she became too weak and crippled to do it herself. He took care of her just as she'd taken care of him for all those years. He'd done it all without complaint because he loved her and felt he owed her that much. Some days were a bitch, sure, but he sucked it up and carried on. Even when his own aches and pains got the better of him, he plugged away with it.

Of course, having Alec, Tess and Lexi there would mean he wouldn't be alone. It was weird to admit this, even to himself. He could remember when he actually had _preferred_ to be alone, but now it just didn’t feel right to him. It was unnatural. That first day of her being gone had been the fucking hardest because even though the medics had taken her body away not even twenty-four hours prior, he could still feel her presence in the house. He’d felt it so strongly, he’d sometimes forget himself. Panicking at the silence and searching for her through the house. Asking questions to thin air, forgetting she was no longer there to respond. The days that followed hadn't made it any better. Still sensing her in the house, almost feeling her soft touch on his arm as he lay in bed, staring at her vacant side. He wasn't sure if there was something more going on or if he was going mad. Either one wouldn't have surprised him. He'd spent over fifty years with the woman, so it was a given that he'd have issues adjusting to the lack of her presence. Well, physical presence anyway. Maybe he needed them there? It would be nice to wake up and see his son in the mornings. To see Tess and Lexi. To wake up to the sounds of their voices in the house and not the crushing and overwhelming silence. He just needed to face the fact that he was lonely as hell and needed someone there to keep him grounded.

“Dad?” Alec's voice broke through his jumbled thoughts, snapping him back to his bedroom. “Dad, are you a'right? Do you need t' sit down?”

He’d been standing there, eyes on the floor with a vacant expression on his face. Blinking, he glanced at Alec before turning his gaze to the unmade bed, her side still untouched. “I think so,” he whispered, dropping down onto his side of the bed. “Just need a moment.” He rolled onto his side as Alec left the room, his eyes fixed on the vacant space. Her scent was still on the bed, even after a week. Imprinted into the fabric of the sheets and pillow. Murdoc let out a heavy sigh, his hand moving over the cool sheets. Nothing felt right anymore. The bed too big. The room’s deafening silence too much for him. Dreading those moments he’d climb into bed and seeing that she wasn’t there, but looking forward to the sleep because it meant dreams. In his dreams, she was always there, her soft touch reassuring and comforting. Her voice barely above a whisper. No longer the withered and crippled old woman she'd become, but as she was when he'd first laid eyes on her. Often times taken aback at how much she'd changed when faced with the phantom in his dreams. Dark brown hair brushing against his face, her face clear and free of the heavy lines and wrinkles, eyes glittering green and clear. He had no idea how he looked nor did he care, just happy to have those extra moments, fleeting as they'd be. Knowing that soon he would awaken and find himself alone in the cold bed filled with her scent. Find himself back into a reality he'd want no part of. _When it's time, I'll come for you_ , she'd whisper. The same statement every night just before he'd wake. Her voice echoing in his head as if she'd spoken directly into his ear.  Murdoc frowned, closing his eyes and taking another breath. He wasn't sure what he wanted anymore. He realized he actually welcomed that moment when she'd come back and take him with her, even if this meant leaving what remained of his family behind. 

Opening his eyes, Murdoc sat up, pulling at the thin chain that hung from his neck, staring at the little band that hung from it. He cracked a small smile as he moved the ring between his fingers. A plain and simple little white gold band with three diamonds set into it. It was small, well worn after having been on her finger for so many decades. Turning it at an angle, he stared at the engraving on the inside of the band, the writing no longer legible enough to read. _The one night stand who became the love of my life. Mine forever_. It had been his own words, a way to verbalize the way he'd felt when he couldn't speak it aloud. He'd never been one to verbalize aloud how he felt when it came to his emotions. He could still remember the look on her face when he had pointed out what was engraved beneath the ring. It initially had made him feel uncomfortable that he was exposing himself in such a fashion, but after a moment, she'd simply put the band on her finger without a word, her fingers moving through his hair, the silent understanding louder than any words could convey.

Dropping the chain and ring back under his shirt, he pushed himself from the bed. Alec was downstairs, going through the icebox to see what could be made for supper. Murdoc paused at the entryway between the sitting room and kitchen, watching as Alec pulled out various vegetables, some of which were most likely beyond being usable. His age seemed to truly be showing, or perhaps Murdoc had merely been blind to it all. This was his son, after all. But the man was over fifty now. His dark brown hair was streaked with grey, his frame a bit heavier, the lines on his face becoming more and more visible, the neatly clipped beard on his face almost completely grey save for a few dark streaks. Alec was middle aged now. Alec had a fifteen year old daughter and twenty-nine year old son. None of that seemed real. Murdoc could still see the round and happy preschooler, the gangly teenager who struggled with his disabilities and then the young man who struggled to over come those disabilities. You'd be hard pressed to find much wrong with him seeing him now. The tremor in his hands being the only thing that really gave away any issues but even that was minimal. He walked with a bit of a limp, but no longer relied on a cane and hadn’t for years.

Sensing his presence, Alec perked his head up from the open icebox, cracking a toothy smile. “Figured you were gonna take a nap.” Murdoc leaned in the entryway, momentarily struck with how much Alec looked like him in that moment. Genetics were fucking weird. Maybe it was the dark brown hair and green eyes that had always made him think Alec took after Hailey more. The older Alec got, the more Murdoc could see himself. Alec, oblivious to his father's internal contemplation, held up some various produce. “Tessie makes a mean stir fry, Dad. Feel like that for supper?”

“When will she get here?” he asked, lighting a cigarette and pulling out a bottle of whiskey.

“Any time now,” Alec said, setting the vegetables aside. “An' Ben will be here later t'night.” With a groan, he bent low to open one of the cupboards, rummaging around until he found the cutting board. Murdoc watched with mild amusement as Alec went to work chopping up the bell peppers, onions and other vegetables. Lil' wifey must have trained him well, he thought with a chuckle. All he was missing was an apron and oven mit. Alec turned towards the kitchen table, watching as Murdoc poured two glasses, pushing one towards him. “I can't right now, Dad. Drivin' in t' town later. Just waitin' for the girls t' get here before I leave.”

“Where 'bouts?” Murdoc asked with raised eyebrows, taking a sip from the drink. “Ever'thin' we need for supper is here.”

“Rampton,” he said, turned back to the vegetables. “I'm goin' t' see Amy.” He tensed up, most likely feeling Murdoc’s stare on his back. “I think it's best she hears it from one of us over her doctor or some social worker, dun' you think?” He slowly turned, meeting his father's hardened eyes. “Look, I know you want t' pretend she dun' exist or died or whatever, but I think it's time you face the fact that she is still your daughter an' deserves t' know Mum passed 'way.”

“If you knew every’thin’, you wouldn't say that,” Murdoc growled, narrowing his eyes.

“You'd be surprised with what I know, Dad,” Alec said calmly. “I'm not askin' you t' go with me an' see her. Just acknowledge that she exists, that the person in that facility is your daughter. I'll go by myself an' handle it all. Ignorance is not bliss, Dad. I know you dun' have much time left an' I dun' want t' see you on your deathbed wishin' you'd handled it all differently.”

Murdoc bit his lip, glaring at the table. He didn't know what to do. It was easier to maintain the idea that she'd passed away at a young age, easier to never acknowledge the monster she'd grown into. Easier to pretend that he and Hailey were in no way responsible for what she'd become. But it was their fault, wasn't it? It had all changed that night she'd caught them. Their fault. She’d grown up in Alec’s shadow thanks to his disabilities, both of them neglecting her without even realizing it. And when her actions screamed for the help she so desperately needed, they'd shunned her instead of helped. No, shit was never that simple. She was a warped and depraved woman. Chances were, regardless of what she'd witnessed that long ago night, her fate may have been the same. Something else would have been the catalyst. Her darkness was equal to what both he and Hailey had within, only she lacked the self control. She'd become him without the boundaries. “I know who she was, Alec,” he whispered. “I know what she was. Is that what you want' t' hear, boy? She was every dark an' nasty part your Mum an' I harbored within ourselves. Amy was our worst halves.” He stood up, draining the glass. “You do what you think you need t' do, Alec, but this will be the last time we discuss your sister.”

*******************

Tessie stared at the painting, smiling broadly, her fingers gliding over the canvas. “It's gorgeous, Alec. An' your Dad doesn't want it an'more?” Alec shook his head as she passed him back the painting. They could hear Lexi chattering away upstairs with Murdoc, probably boring the old man to tears with her talk of boys, clothes and which celebrities she thought were cute. “I dun' understand why he doesn't want it,” she whispered, looking over at him. “You'd think it would be special t' him. It was before you got hurt, yeah?”

“It has more t' do with the man who painted it,” Alec muttered. “Remember what I told you 'bout Mum a while back?” He let out a chuckle, shoving his hand through his hair. “Apparently, it was the man who painted this. Ol' mate of m' Dad's.”

Tessie grimaced, seeing Alec's somewhat amused expression. “Well then...I can see why it bothered your Dad. Why not just get rid of it after your Mum passed 'way?”

“What do you think he's doin' with it?” Alec said, tossing his suitcase onto the bed. “Seems weird seein' that we're movin' in, but we can keep it down here I suppose. It was special t' Mum an' that was the only thin' stoppin' him from tossin' it out.”

“An' the fact that it's worth somethin' means nothin', yeah?” Tessie mused, smirking at him. “He coulda sold it.”

“Only three personal pieces were not accounted for,” Alec said, stowing some of their clothing into the empty dresser. “We have one, 'nother mate of Dad's had two. Ever'thin' else this man painted has been sold off t' various collectors. This paintin' an' the other two are worth so much because they were personal gifts t' the man's circle of friends, all of which were involved in the music industry. Murdoc Niccals an' family in watercolor, painted by ‘nother musician who has been dead an' gone for well over ten years. That paintin' is worth more than this house, Tess.”

“It's just a simple sketch an' watercolor, though,” she whispered, staring at the canvas.

“All the more valuable. He worked with oil paints, mainly. Rarely did watercolor work.” He paused, glancing over his shoulder at her. She looked shocked and almost wary of being in possession of the painting. The feeling was certainly mutual. They'd both grown up within that exclusive circle, getting the best of everything, but at the same time their families had lived simple lives. The idea of knowing the monetary value of something so simple was overwhelming. Sure, he knew most of the oddball things his parents owned were valuable, but knowing exact numbers? Took the wind out of you. He had yet to tell Tessie about what his Mum had left them. She'd probably have a stroke if he did. They weren't poor by any means, but certainly not wealthy. The term millionaire just did not compute in his head. He worked, Tessie worked and they had pulled their own weight with no help from their families.

Tessie pulled her gaze from the painting, looking around the narrow bedroom. She had originally been hesitant about them moving into his parents' home, taking over in the small basement apartment. It meant Lexi switching schools and a longer work commute for the two of them. She understood Alec's reasons and he was thankful for that. Murdoc was now alone for the first time in over five decades. And while he dismissed their concern with his usual off-hand, off-color humor, it was obvious he still wasn't fully adjusted to Hailey being gone. Almost as if he expected her to appear suddenly out of the blue like she'd never been gone. Alec reasoned this was probably normal. The lack of her presence left his father restless, unsure of what to do. He'd taken over the care of her and of their home the last few years and now with her being gone, his routines were now off. Alec had even mentioned seeing the man cook breakfast for two, thinking it for him, only to watch his Dad take the extra plate and yellow mug full of coffee upstairs. He'd come back down with everything a few moments later, his eyes glassy, mouth trembling. Though he hid it well, he was hurting. It was a hard thing to watch because it showed just how much Murdoc had loved her and how hard not having her there was for him.

Alec tossed the empty suitcase aside, tucking it in a corner out of sight. “The visit with Amy went 'bout as well as I expected.”

“No changes?” she asked softly, sitting at the edge of the bed.

“Not really,” he whispered. “She looked a fright. Kept carryin' on 'bout someone named Lizzie. I dun' think it even registered when I tried t' tell her that Mum had passed. Kept talkin' 'bout this Lizzie. Found out it was..... _she_ was.....the one who died.” He blinked, looking over at her. She stared back, the confusion only lasting a brief moment before realization sunk in. He nodded, clearing his throat. “They never told her she died. She's believed this entire time that she was here, bein' raised by Mum an' Dad. I didn't know what t' say. What t' do. Doctors pulled me 'side an' told me not t' say an'thin'. She was just too far gone, Tess. It was a mistake goin' there.” It had been an uneasy visit because she’d smiled happily at him when he had showed up, seemingly unconcerned with the fact that had been the first time he’d been there in almost twenty years. Asking about Lizzie, not even flinching when he’d tried to tell her about their Mum.

“You'd think they'd at least have a moral obligation t' say somethin' t' her?” Tessie whispered, shaking her head in disbelief. “How can they do that? Why allow her t' believe something that isn't?”

“Her rights were severed,” he murmured. “They said legally, they were under no obligation t' tell her an'thin'.” A massive sigh erupted from him, his attention now at the partially open door. “Should probably get upstairs, yeah? Socialize with the old fart an' all. He's probably dyin' for more stimulatin' conversation.”

The kitchen was dark save for the light under the hood of the stove, casting dim shadows from the table chairs and small island. Alec saw the back of Murdoc's head on the sofa, nodding occasionally and grunting in response as Lexi continued to prattle on about whatever. He peered up at Alec when they rounded the sofa, mouthing a silent _help me_. Alec flashed a smile, patting his shoulder as he laid claim to the overstuffed chair. Tessie dropped down onto the other end of the sofa, staring at Lexi. “Why dun' you head downstairs an' get unpacked an' adjusted?” she suggested. “Get your bedroom ready.”

Both Alec and Murdoc watched as Lexi got to her feet and bounded towards the basement door, leaving the adults alone in the living room. The silence that hung between them was awkward, but it made Alec acutely aware of the lack of his mother’s presence. Made him wonder just what Murdoc had planned to do with himself if they hadn’t decided to move in. As much as the old man tried to insist he could be self sufficient, Alec had seen enough to recognize that he’d slowed down. He was also well aware of the fact that he was coughing up blood. He’d tried to hide this from Alec of course, probably under some misguided idea that revealing this would make him appear weak, but Alec had noticed the tissues in the bin kept in the master washroom. It would also make him feel a million times better if the geezer quit using the stairs and actually used the chair lift instead. Alec wasn’t interested in waking up one morning and finding his father dead at the foot of the stairs from a fall because he was too fucking stubborn to admit that he wasn’t as steady on his feet as he’d once been.

The heavy silence was finally broken when Murdoc cleared his throat. “If you lot think you're gonna be bathin' me an' wipin' me arse, you have 'nother thin' comin',” he chuckled. “I do those just fine on m' own, thank you.”

“No worries, Dad,” Alec laughed. “Not what I want t' see an'ways.” He looking around the lounge, noting only a few small things missing. Not as much stuff as the old man originally thought, eh? His gaze fell back to his father, who was staring back at him. Tearing his gaze away, Alec huffed loudly, lighting a cigarette. “It's not the same in here,” he whispered.

“Reckon you're right,” Murdoc said in a low voice. “Not the same at all.” The strained smile on his face melted as he looked around the room. For a split second, Alec was certain the man would break down into tears. Alec himself had broken down enough times to last a lifetime but he had yet to see Murdoc finally crack. He’d certainly seen tears and had caught on to the man’s quieter moments standing in the kitchen and staring at Hailey’s yellow mug, or in the bedroom just sitting on the bed and looking around, but while everyone else had broken down and wept, Murdoc had remained amazingly stoic. “Still feels like she’s here, though,” he added, flashing a sad smile at Alec and Tess.

“Maybe she is, maybe she isn't,” Alec muttered, dragging his hands across his face as a massive yawn erupted from him. “But yeah, the house feels a bit odd t' me. Not in a bad way, though.” Rising from the chair, he ventured back into the kitchen to retrieve something cold to drink, discovering a few bottles of lager in the back of the icebox. He still hid them? This almost made Alec laugh aloud as he grabbed a bottle, uncapping it. Dad had his quirks. So did Mum. She probably still had a stash of praline ice scream shoved in the back of the freezer. But she had good reason to hide it. Dad always found it and ate it. With a snort, he opened up the freezer, spying the small carton of ice cream in the back, hidden behind some ground beef and chicken. He grabbed the carton and tossed it onto the counter, veering to his left to fetch the ice cream scoop. Popping open the carton, he laugh aloud upon realizing there was only a few scrapings at the bottom. Murdoc had struck again.

From the window, headlights sliced through the darkness. Alec perked his head up, spotting Ben’s car pull into the drive and crawl to a stop behind their car. When Ben emerged, Alec smiled, turning his attention towards the lounge. “Ben's here.”

The front door opened, Ben stepping into the foyer silently. Shedding his jacket, he strolled into the lounge and pulled Tessie into a tight embrace. “How are you?” he whispered into her hair. “How's Lexi?”

“Good, we're doin' good,” she whispered back. “We're just glad you were able t' make it.”

“Like I’m gonna miss a night t’ spend time Grandad an’ break his balls,” he said with a laugh, stepping back from her. “Glad you lot suggested this. It’s good t’ have us all t’gether.”

Alec emerged from the kitchen, juggling three lagers as he passed one to Ben and then to Murdoc before turning to Ben and giving him a quick hug. The beard was new. Christ, he really did look like Alec now with the beard, though he stood a full head taller than both Alec and Murdoc. Ben broke away from the embrace and sauntered through the lounge towards Murdoc, grasping the old man’s hand firmly and pulling him to his feet. Murdoc gave him a quick embrace, patting his back. “Good t’ see you, boy. Didn’t think I’d see you ‘gain after your Gran’s services a few days ‘go.”

“Told ya, Grandad, just b’cause I work ‘cross the country dun’ mean I can’t drop ever’thin’ t’ come an’ drive you mental.” His smile faltered a bit at the corners. “I know you lot probably dun’ care, but my Mum sends her sympathies.”

Alec merely nodded his head. “Let her know we appreciate it next time you talk t’ her.” He’d been a bit surprised at the change in Nina’s behavior in the wake of Ben’s catastrophic bullshit and then the crazy shit with Amy. He had truly assumed she would try to use it all to her advantage but she’d actually reached out to Alec a few months after Ben had been sent away to the youth facility, apologizing profusely about everything. They had both come to an agreement that if they wanted Ben to succeed then they needed to stop acting like arseholes to one another. It hadn’t been easy, neither of them willing to back down with whatever they’d wanted in those moments and arguments had broken out on more than a few occasions. They’d managed to remain cordial with one another as time passed, especially with Ben getting older and wanting both of his parents in his life. They didn’t have to see each other or speak to each other anymore, but Ben didn’t want them bickering or giving each other the evil eye during any major events in his life that might require his entire family being together, like when he’d graduated Uni or down the road when he got married.

From somewhere down below came the sound of thundering feet on stairs. Ben cracked a smile and turned towards the kitchen just in time to see Lexi tearing through the kitchen, squealing loudly and throwing herself at her older brother. Most of her words were lost on the other adults, a weird mixture of squeals and rapid high pitched chattering. Ben kept trying to get a greeting in, his own voice lost amidst her excitement. Holding her off her feet, he cracked a smile when she finally fell silent. “Good t' see you too, Lex.”

********************

With the excitement over Ben’s arrival finally diminishing, they all resumed their seats back in the lounge. Murdoc smoked a cigarette in silence as he listened to Ben and Alec talk about work and other things. There'd once been a time when Murdoc was certain he'd never see such a thing in his life. Certain that he'd enjoy his bachelor life until the day he keeled over, never knowing what became of any children he'd sired through the years. Yet here he was, sitting in the same room with his son and grandchildren. A son and grandchildren that didn't follow down the same footsteps that Murdoc himself had been told he'd go down most of his life. The cycle had been shattered and obliterated. His own father had been an abusive drunk, his brother no better. He'd almost fallen down that cycle while with the band, but through a series of events and circumstances had gotten past it. It hadn’t been an easy road but he’d traveled it with gusto and both middle fingers in the air.

A knock on the door signaled a new arrival and both Alec and Murdoc exchanged glances. Murdoc couldn’t recall if they were expecting anyone else, but hey the more the merrier! The whole day had been a bit chaotic, hadn’t it? He smiled to himself, thinking back to the last time they’d had a houseful of guests. Hailey had been scooting around with her walker, chattering happily with everyone and bickering with him over her drinking his prized import beer. It had only taken three decades or so, but she’d finally decided she liked his brand of brew. His concerns had more to do with the meds she’d had to take, but she knew her limits and never drank to the point of inebriation. Fucking hell, he missed her. She would love this gathering. Clucking over Lexi’s unruly hair or barking at Ben and Alec to shave the beards. She’d hated their beards. Said it made them look old and this meant she was old. Scooting by and pinching Murdoc's arse, shuffling away and giggling like a little kid. He uttered a small sigh, feeling the sting of tears again. Wiping them away, he turned towards the foyer as Ben got to his feet and went to answer the door.

Noodle stepped in first, her grey hair pulled into a simple bun on the back of her head, staring at Murdoc through massive coke bottle glasses. Holding her arm was Stu, his blue hair now a brilliant white and completely bald on top with only wisps of it around his head. She lingered in the foyer, squinting at Murdoc through her ridiculously large lenses before looking up at Ben and then over to Alec. “Which is which?”

Ben cracked a smile as he took her jacket. “It’s me, Ben,” he said loudly. “Remember, Noodle, I’m the tallest an’ still have my natural hair color an’ most of my hair!”

“Oi, fuck right off!” Alec barked, laughing good-naturedly as he rose up from the chair. “I’m not bald yet, y’ fuckin’ skyscraper!” He cracked a smile at Noodle, holding out his arms and pulling her into a hug. “We keep tellin’ you t’ get those glasses fixed, Noods.”

“I’m old, Alec,” she said through a laugh. “Glasses aren’t gonna fix this.”

Stu lingered behind her, smiling at everyone through his own pair of glasses. Tessie was on her feet, hugging them both excitedly. Murdoc wasn’t expecting a whole house load, but this was definitely a nice change of pace. Still would have been much more fun with Hailey here. “Dun’ stand there, Face-Ache,” he laughed, slapping the cushions of the sofa. “Come an’ sit your lanky arse down, mate!”

Lexi squealed, greeting her grandparents and making room for them to sit on the sofa with Murdoc. Yes, this was nice. This was definitely a necessary distraction. Tessie disappeared into the kitchen and came back out a few moments later with some more drinks and it didn’t take long for the somber atmosphere of the lounge to lift with the sounds of laughter, the clink of glasses and a few moments of Murdoc leaning over with his hand to his ear, mocking Stu’s failing hearing. “Oi, wutwuzdat!” he laughed loudly, leaning all the way across Noodle. “Didn’t catch it, Dents! Wutyasay?”

“Fuck off, you ol’ geezer!” cackled Stu, turning off his hearing aid. “Now I can’t hear ya! Wish I had dis when we lived back at Kong! Coulda saved me countless sleepless nights bein’ kept ‘wake by your howlin’ as you fucked a dozen groupies a night!”

Murdoc scoffed, feigning offense. “Oi, I shared!”

Alec and Tessie both started laughing and gagging, which had Murdoc laughing even harder. Christ, yes, he needed this. Stu flicked his hearing aid back on, laughing some more when Noodle hissed at him in Japanese and swatted his arm. Murdoc had no idea what she’d said, but Tessie clearly understood it because she was giggling and her face had gone red. Stu perked his head up, a gap toothed smile on his face. “Oi, Alec, you should know, durin’ da whole Plastic Beach tour, ever’one was grateful your Mum kept dat ol’ tosser busy an’ off ever’one’s balls. He was fuckin’ intolerable!”

Murdoc’s massive grin faltered a bit at the corners. Of course conversation would steer towards Hailey. It was part of the reason they were here at the house. Everyone wanting to make sure crooked old Murdoc wasn’t going mad in the house all by himself. “C’mon, Dents, nobody wants t’ hear ‘bout that. You know I was in a bit of a state at the time, too. Not in m’ right mind.”

Stu’s face settled into a frown. “I’m sorry, Muds. Kinda figured it would be nice t’ talk ‘bout her an’ stuff, ya know? We can talk ‘bout som’fink else if you dun’ wanna talk ‘bout da concert.”

“I’d appreciate it, mate,” Murdoc said as he lit himself a cigarette.

There were probably hundreds of different memories the man could choose from, yet it didn’t take long for Murdoc to realize he was retelling the pirate attack on Plastic Beach. Murdoc found himself silent and staring at Stu with raised eyebrows because the man hadn’t spoken about that whole incident in decades. Murdoc had assumed he’d been traumatized by the whole ordeal – not that he’d blame him one bit – and refused to acknowledge what happened. “Now dun’ get me wrong,” he said excitedly, his black eyes on both Alec, Ben, Lexi and Tess, who were all staring at him with wide eyes. “I was scared shitless. Figured we was as good as dead. I was tied up, Murdoc was tied up an’ dey’d dragged Hailey out. She was pregnant wiff you, Alec, like four or five monfs or som’fink...dis pirate leader was tellin’ us he was gonna kill her an’ kill us an’ we were shittin’ ourselves. Murdoc was cussin’ dem out, your Mum was tellin’ dem t’ fuck off...”

“Dun’ bore them with all that,” Murdoc cackled. “Tell ‘em what she did!”

“I was gettin’ t’ dat, you senile old bastard!” he shot back. He returned his focus back to the four seated around him. “As I was sayin’...so dis pirate had Hailey an’ he tried t’ kiss her...an’ she actually bit off a chunk of his face! He was screamin’, she was spittin’ out da lower half of his mouff an’ he was so fired up.” Murdoc smiled as the story progressed, but he was feeling some low grade anxiety over hearing all of this again. He remembered how it all played out. They’d shot Hailey in the back of the leg. Afterward they’d stabbed her. The pirates had more or less been preparing to kill them all and just leave. Stu was laughing now but during those nightmarish moments back at the island, they’d all be pissing themselves because they had really thought they were going to die.

Noodle reached a hand out, pressing it against Stu’s arm. His laughter died on his lips and he perked his head up to look at Murdoc. Murdoc hadn’t realized his smile had collapsed and his gaze had gone distant thinking back through the years. Distracted by the various memories shared with Poppet and realizing all he had were stories and memories now. Just him and his thoughts. No more attacking her on the bed and making her laugh. No more finding her sitting in the kitchen with her coffee and cigarette. No more of just her being there when he wanted comfort. Blinking, he refocused and looked at the multitude of eyes now on him. “Now dun’ go lookin’ at me an’ feelin’ sorry for me. I’ll share a tale of m’ own here in a moment. Gotta make sure whatever memory I pull from m’ arse isn’t rated NC-17!”

Alec turned to Lexi, gesturing towards the kitchen. “It’s gettin’ late, love. If your Grandad keeps drinkin’ I can’t promise his tales won’t scar you.”

Tessie slapped at his arm. “She just listened t’ m’ Dad talk ‘bout how her Gran bit some pirate’s face off an’ you’re worried ‘bout her overhearin’ somethin’ inappropriate? She’s fifteen, not five, Alec!”

More lively chatter as Alec told a few stories of his own, at least what he could remember, most of them post-coma. Murdoc cackled with glee over a his memory of a Christmas party when Ben had still been pretty young. Hailey had been stressed beyond belief over preparing for that party. Had cooked everything and had damned near taken Murdoc’s nuts when he’d gone into the kitchen to try to snag a few bites like he always did while she was cooking. If Murdoc remembered correctly, he’d suggested they take up occupancy in the bathroom so he could bend her over the counter really quick. Ben had apparently been looking for them and had also dragged along a few guests in the hunt for Gran and Grandad. They’d forgotten to lock the door and suddenly it had flown open with him standing there, pressed against her, their pants pooled at their ankles. How old had Ben been? Probaby five or six. It hadn’t been that long after Alec had woke up.

Alec tried to admonish him, but couldn’t stop laughing. “You an’ Mum were awful when it came t’ that. Didn’t matter what time of the day it was or who was in the house, if you two were feelin’ frisky, you’d run off t’ do your thing.”

“Well, it was our fuckin’ house, boy!” Murdoc shot back, laughing to himself as he drained his beer. “If I wanted t’ bend your Mum over the kitchen island – which I’ve done, by the way – then it was my right t’ do it as king of this castle!”

At some point Lexi did finally start yawning but she insisted on remaining in the lounge with them as they shared different stories. Noodle nearly lost it when Murdoc finally admitted to sabotaging Hailey’s garden. “I can’t believe you were pissing on it, Murdoc!” she laughed, shaking her head. “Poor Hailey was beside herself for years over that garden. She never knew what she was doing wrong. How long were you doing that?”

“Dunno,” he said with a shrug. “A few decades.” Fresh cigarette in his hand, he swirled his beer around in the bottle. “Did you lot know she never learned how t’ drive a stick shift?”

“No way.” Alec shook his head. “I’ve seen Mum drive the VauxHall!”

“You’ve seen her move the blasted thin’,” Murdoc corrected, wagging a finger at him. “An’ she a’ways fucked up the clutch. She never was able t’ learn. Tried teachin’ her once. Quite the adventure that was. I figured maybe a crash course in the middle of the city might be just the trick. Alec was in the backseat. He was just a tot at the time, maybe two years old. An’ we’re sittin’ there an’ gettin’ ready t’ turn in t’ the round-about at the center of the city an’ she starts freakin’ out, grindin’ the clutch, stallin’ the car. Every grind, every crunch...all I saw was the bank account drainin’ for whatever repairs we were gonna need for the car. She manages t’ finally get the car out in t’ the traffic circle an’ stalls the blasted thin’ riding the lines an’ blockin’ two lanes of traffic.” He snickered at the distant memory. Of course, he wasn’t going to tell them how they’d started fighting right there in the car with a dozen cars honking at them, swearing up a storm at each other and him finally getting out of the car, taking Alec and just walking off, leaving her stranded there. The overall tale was amusing, but not the finer details. She’d indeed destroyed the clutch and that had cost them hundreds. Adding to this the fact she’d had to get the car towed and they’d acquired another bill.

It occurred to him that a lot of the funnier memories always seemed to have pretty volatile aftermaths. Their first Christmas with Alec had started out great but Murdoc had gotten himself tanked and though he had little memory of what had happened, he apparently had decided he was going to fuck Hailey right there with Alec chilling in his high chair and got upset when she’d pushed him away. There was a fight there too. Or how about Alec’s first day of nursery school and he’d forgotten to pick Alec up afterward. Hailey’s car had been in the shop for some now unknown reason and he’d taken off with Stu to the pub, followed by a strip club he’d been wanting to investigate. She couldn’t reach him and when she’d finally been able to track him down, he’d been tanked and unable to drive. There was another fight. Seemed like all they did was break each other’s balls, fight and then fuck. Christ, Poppet, sorry if we’re not handling this whole keeping your memory alive thing right, he thought dismally. You need to be here to tell us what assholes we’re being.

No, he wasn’t being fair about it. There _were_ good memories. Maybe not appropriate memories to share but still good ones all the same. He’d had the picture of her Mum repaired after Alec had nearly destroyed it and had a new digital print created so she had a nice five by seven snap she could put in a frame along with a new wallet sized one for her to keep in her handbag. She had allowed him to do whatever the fuck he’d wanted to her that night. He’d had her walking bow-legged by the end of that evening. She’d managed to locate items thought lost from the pirate attack at Point Nemo being sold on eBay. Water logged instruments, notebooks full of lyrics he’d stored in plastic freezer bags because he’d been overly paranoid about the notebooks falling into the water and even a few personal items he’d thought lost forever. That night ended well for her because he’d returned the favor and allowed her to do whatever she’d wanted to him. Hadn’t that involved the strap on? He couldn’t really remember anymore. Great memories, when you got right down to it. And even more so once they were too old to give a shit anymore. Getting kicked out of the movies for heckling the film and throwing food at it. Taking her to a strip club for her sixtieth birthday to get her a lap-dance and then getting kicked out because he’d dared her to slap the girl’s arse. They’d even crashed some random couple’s wedding and got tanked. Sweet Satan, they’d had a fucking blast!

He wasn’t sure how long he’d been lost in his own thoughts, but apparently long enough to lose several minutes of conversation. He frowned, looking at everyone as he tried to catch up as quickly as he could and and realized that Ben was filling them all in with some of his own big life changes. “Proposed t’ Jordan ‘bout a month ‘go...”

Murdoc frowned, not recognizing the bird’s name. “Whatever happened t' Fiona?”

Ben looked over at Murdoc, mild alarm in his expression. “Err.....you dun' remember, Grandad? We broke up years 'go. I told you this.”

“I'm ninety-fuckin'-eight years old, boy,” Murdoc huffed, lighting another cigarette. “Be happy I remember I even have a grandson.” From beside him, Alec started laughing. All fun and games to joke about it, but it was the truth honestly. His memory wasn't what it used to be. Nothing to cause concern, thank Satan for that, but enough to throw him off his game here or there. The worst thing to happen was forgetting where he'd put the keys and finding them in the ignition of the car. He’d made the mistake of telling Alec this in passing conversation and it turned into Alec constantly riding his balls about turning over the keys of the car and getting driven around like Miss-Fucking-Daisy by Alec or Tess. He wasn’t about to give up that privilege just yet.

Tessie's yawning seemed to signal what they were all feeling. They were exhausted. Alec and Tessie retired first, dragging Lexi with them to the basement apartment. Murdoc, Stu, Noodle and Ben remained for a short while longer, talking about various topics before Murdoc's own yawning got the better of him. He needed a drink, a smoke and bed. Stu and Noodle eventually bid their fairwell and the house started to go quiet. He dragged himself up the stairs, glass in hand and cigarette burning between his fingers. He could hear Ben downstairs, rummaging through the linen cupboard for an extra pillow and blankets but otherwise the house had fallen into silence. He dropped onto the side of the bed, smoking his cigarette and peering around the bedroom. Surrounded by various pictures of her smiling face, watching as they progressed. Dark hair turning white, her smiling face showing the signs of age as the folds and wrinkles started to grow deeper and heavier. Sighing, he stubbed out the cigarette and drained his glass. Tomorrow was another day. And in the days that followed, the lawyer would be back for signatures.

Easing his frame into the soft comfort of the bed, he lay there, staring up at the ceiling. He was alone now. Completely and utterly alone. Sure, he had his son, daughter in law and grandkids, but it just wasn't quite the same. She'd been his companion for so long. And from nothing more than a chance meeting at a bar, the same wild and care free personality that he himself had. They'd both matured a great deal through the years. Had no choice, really. Alec was in the picture and they both realized they needed to figure something out. Continue as they did and Satan knows where that would have taken the boy or grow the fuck up and try that whole family bullshit. Sure there'd been some rocky moments and after Alec had been injured, it certainly tested their patience and affection for one another, but they'd gone through it all and then some and had come out on top. Couldn’t ask for anything more, right? They may have come close to tearing each other’s heads off through the years, but they’d always managed to maintain some level of normalcy for Alec and even for Amy, as much as it pained him to think this.

Yawning, he pulled the blankets tighter, turning onto his side. Her side was still vacant of course. He didn't expect that to change. He reached over and grabbed her pillow, pulling it close. Breathing in, he let out a dull noise, feeling the burn of tears. He swallowed back the tightness in his throat, groaning. A glance at the clock told him it was getting late. Unlike most other old farts, he still enjoyed the late hour. Supper at three and in bed by five were not his thing. But fuck it all, he was beat. The day had taken a toll on him, no doubt about it. He squeezed his eyes shut, sighing loudly in the dark and silent room. Sleep. Sleep sounded good. Another day ahead of him. Another day of facing the reality of her being gone. He could feel the wetness on his cheeks, only dully aware that the tears had broken through.

The soft touch on his cheek startled him, his eyes snapping open. Her face was right there, mere inches from his. His voice died at his lips, unable to tear his gaze away from her eyes. He was struck with a moment of de ja vu in those moments, remembering another time and another place. The same comfort. The same ease. His troubled thoughts no longer seemed important, just glad to have her close. “Poppet,” he whispered, pulling her closer. “Dun' leave me 'gain....” She flashed a smile, her hand smoothing back his hair. He buried his face into her hair, taking in the soft and familiar scent. Christ, she was warm and soft in his grasp. Her dark hair tangled around her face, eyes gleaming in the dull light of the lamp. He pressed his mouth to hers, holding her as tight as he could. He wasn't going to let go. He couldn't let go. He could feel her hands on his face, fingers tangling into his hair. This was too good. Never before had she allowed such contact in his dreams. Always simply there, her presence alone the comfort he needed in those moments. But now he needed more, demanded more. He brought his hands up, smoothing her hair away from her face. She paused, her hand wrapping around his, her head on his chest. Grinning, he laced his fingers through her fingers, feeling the warmth of her breath against his skin. “You'll stay, yeah?” he asked softly. “You won't leave?”

She moved slowly, pushing herself up onto her elbow, tracing circles on his chest. Her smile faltered a moment, her eyes shimmering as tears fell. He shook his head, wiping the tears away from her face. If this meant she had to leave again, he'd scream. He'd fight whatever forces there were to keep there there with him. He was Murdoc goddamned Niccals and when he wanted something, he got it. She dropped her gaze to her hand, reaching up and slowly moving her fingers into his hair. A low rumbling sigh escaped from him, numerous memories of times when she'd done this. Always there with her comfort. Always there when he needed her the most. Opening his eyes, he stared up at her face. She was smiling again, bending down towards him, mouth brushing against his before moving to his ear, speaking so softly nobody else could have heard her. “ _I've come to take you with me_.”


End file.
